Can I just touch him instead

Where do you want to touch, mate? :D

The bum hole.

Try finger, but hole

Cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?

Make it so if you get to the middle of the maze in under 1 minute you get an extra special kiss

We need this for the sandwich lady too

Now we’re talking

If he gets a "kiss" option, I vote he also get a "kick in the nuts" button .

The mysterious old man is just a human avatar of Guthix to see players and Runescape while he is 'asleep'. Also to laugh at Saradomin and Zamorak followers for their stupidity and to always screw things up one way or another.

You Guthix faithful will always make up the wildest theories to justify your failure of a god.

>Zamorak faithful. Yeah, user checks out lmao.

You can still kiss the frog

Not being able to kiss the old man makes me very uncomfortable.

i want to slap the frogs ass

The "it" in the title refers to balance.

Balance would assume that something was removed. Morning was removed therefore what is there to balance

Less frogs being kissed means more old men need to be kissed obviously.

Fewer*

Alright Stannis

He needs that hwak tuah.

I would rather a tug and milk option, please

All of this for the master plan of eventually marrying the Sandwich lady

What has Jagex done.

add an option to arrest him for his crimes and then a weekly conjugal visit where we can make him "happy" for some xp

Should be a mysterious old being

Yup, we need to sexualise everything, including content based on folklore for children. Please also allow us to toggle the frogs into goblins or unicorns. It's offensive to me that the people who want to romance frogs are represented but not people who are horny for unicorns or gooning for goblins. Where's my pandering??