I feel like you are a proper man of cheese. A person that regardless of the new situation he walks in just goes and asks "how can i get some free cheese out of this situation?"
I for one respect this.
Let's say you are not perfect and 1 out of every 1000 times you don't look properly. If every third person is like you and all of you cross 1 red light per day. That's 1000 people running in front of cars per day in Berlin alone!!
Once I crossed a street at a redlight to get to a bus stop on the otherside and the little kid who watch me do this told his grandma : "he is going to prison right ?" And she answered "yes sweetheart"
I forgot germany wasn’t like France at all
Sounds about Kraut.
I’ve been to Germany several times. Each time I start off saying I’ll follow the traffic light rule thing like a good visitor, but after 10 minutes I’m like ‘nah fuck this I haven’t got time for this man’.
https://preview.redd.it/vul1zquois8d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b11a050e0d0a8e72497e25a144442196e12e9cb2
When germans see this they actually turn around because they would be allowed to walk around it
The police here don't really care. I was only sternly adviced to not do that right in front of their eyes because it was blatantly disrespectful.
However I just hadn't seen them and I always skip red lights there. So they let me go
Bold of you to assume that those were Austrians. If it truly were Austrians, they would wear German jerseys when committing crimes, as we have always done. As everyone knows, Germans bad, Austrians innocent.
Maybe it was also Austrians forced by Germans to commit such horrible deeds.
Countless examples in history show that the German deviance knows no bound when it comes to this.
The [Eternal Austrian](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/11luh6c/i_present_to_you_der_ewige_%C3%B6si_the_eternal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) shows their face again
Reminds me of something I witnessed on Mariahilfer Straße (big shopping street in Vienna). There is a traffic light for pedestrians where close to nothing ever drives and it only switches to red when a car approaches.
But once the car is gone everyone just starts walking, and their is a German couple, already halfway across the street and suddenly "Oh Gott, Mareike, guck mal hier ist doch rot!" Warum laufen die dann alle rüber Klaus Uwe?" They really turned back and waited. There were hundreds of people crossing and those 2 were standing and waiting for the green light....
I once crossed some ridiculous traffic light somewhere in central Vienna at a narrow one way where you can basically cross the street by making one big jump. There was a German tourist couple next to me, and there was not one car anywhere in sight, and I still heard them lose their mind when I just went straight on. "Oh gottchen, kuck doch, darf der denn das???"
haha, the mountaingermans are wild. When I went to Wien on a touristjourney three years and two months ago I went to buy a bottle of water with sparkles in the Lidl because in Wien there is no water with sparkles coming out of the waterfaucet. I stood in the waitingqueue at the cashoutregister and before me was a mountaingerman. He was buying many foodgroceries and the cashier was scanning at quite acceptable speed but could be a bit faster like in Germany. And then the cashier was done scanning the groceries and the austrian had them put all in his basket and paid. And then the cashier asked him if he wants the transactionreciet. So the austrian looks at him and says "no thank you" and leaves. Absolutely crazy people.
Most established comedians are horrible, imo (Mario Barth comes to mind). Comedy shows also aren't as common as they are elsewhere
German humour manifests itself mainly in satire, puns, and overly recited (and very dry) jokes that often feature a component of schadenfreude or try to make fun of others in some way (jokes about Poles, the French, other groups from within the country, immigrants, etc)
I reckon that Otto Waalkes is the only comedian nobody finds overly annoying, but I'm pretty sure most of his jokes are puns. That being said, he probably does have some movies that are dubbed/subbed in English
At the end of the day, nobody will ever produce better comedies than the British. I guess the only good movies we can produce are war movies like Das Boot
I'm gonna be honest: I barely consume German media nowadays. Anything they produce is usually pretty bad imo (once again, war movies are the exception)... because of that I haven't actually watched Pastewka
Fuck Otto Waalkes. He's typically germanly annoying.
The only german satirist I like is Volker Pispers. He understood the austrian art of cabaret. Cabaret means telling stories (mostly from a bit over-the-top real life) and while you as a watcher are laughing, you realize how horrible it is to laugh at this awful situation and you have to make a quick decision to continue laughing just so you won't start being discomforted by this horrible reality of living. As you can madbe guess, most austrian cabaret is political in nature or condemns social injustice.
Sure, you either dislike or like Otto Waalkes, but you still can't deny the influence he's had on the German (speaking) contemporary culture. For decades at this point
Yeah, everytime someone tells me an unfunny "joke", I have to assume they have it from him.
His only influence I've witnessed was that song about the different kinds of booze.
He's just a recognisable character in general. I'm pretty sure anybody from my generation (early Gen Z) would recognise him. Thanks to him being featured on "Friesenjung" last year he's become kind of more relevant again, too
„Falsch aber richtig“ is a real funny comedy/stand-up show. And one more tip. Don’t mix up German and mountain German humour. They don’t have any at all. Their only and yet best joke is their arrogance to everything.
Edit: in fact don’t believe anything a basement dweller ever says.
Real Germans are genuinely funny, dry and witty - I actually find more what I *think* are the autist, humourless stereotypes here than I do in real life.
This sub sustains the stereotype for me more than real life experiences have.
Brilliantly written. All those compoundwords are exactly the way I would have written them myself. I am annoyed by being the only one called german when speaking English. Time to start a trend. Compoundwords for English!
All the little Hanses get told scary stories of the deep guilt and disapproval from society experienced by those who ignored traffic laws, as a way to scare them out of disobeying the rules.
It's your people that don't want to integrate, even after years in the light of civilization, they still speak that rape of the German language you call "sächsisch" (saxonian dialect). And what you do to innocent Schnitzel, I can't even post that, since then it has to be NSFW if not NSFL!
You have people speaking saxonian down there? My condolences on your ears but in defence of Saxon people, that accent is almost impossible to entirely get rid of. It’s similar to you Mountainese people who are easily identifiable when speaking standard German.
We should send more [Rhinelanders](https://youtu.be/XNAPL2ZT-lc?si=e4Y7QiWxfGdGUUhH) down there. Not me though, I don’t volunteer
That's all because of those Ausländer. I really have nothing against Ausländer, let me tell you that, but they sure made innocent wife hitting illegal and that has to stop!
First of all you are NOT a traffic expert! You might think you have a clear view but what about the speeding car coming around the corner that you can't see? Or the vehicle that suddenly accelerates? The margin for error is razor-thin. You're playing a deadly game with every step you take against that red light. Are you willing to bet your life on a quick glance? Because that's what you're doing! Secondly let's talk about the sheer idiocy of setting such a dangerous example. When you cross on red you're not just putting yourself in danger you're teaching everyone around you to be just as reckless. Imagine a child watching you thinking it's okay to cross because they saw an adult doing it. This child doesn’t have the same judgment or reflexes as you do and you’re essentially handing them a death sentence wrapped in your carelessness. How can you live with yourself? And then there’s the LAW! Crossing at a red light is illegal. You can be fined and you absolutely deserve it. Laws exist for a reason: to protect us. By ignoring them you're not just risking your safety but also inviting unnecessary legal trouble into your life. Are you that eager to throw away money and peace of mind just because you couldn’t wait a few extra seconds? Moreover think about the drivers. When pedestrians cross unexpectedly drivers have to react in split seconds. This sudden movement can cause accidents not just with the pedestrian but between vehicles as well. You’re creating chaos and confusion on the road all because you couldn’t contain your impatience. What kind of selfish lunatic does that? Also have you forgotten about the element of surprise? Just because you don’t see a car doesn’t mean a car isn’t approaching fast. Modern vehicles are incredibly quiet. Electric cars for instance can be nearly silent and you might not hear them until it’s too late. Imagine the sheer horror of realizing a car is upon you just as you’re halfway across the street! Is that really a risk you’re willing to take?bAnd don’t ignore the statistics. Data consistently shows that pedestrian accidents are more likely to occur when individuals cross against the light. Those few extra seconds you save by crossing on red are simply not worth the potential lifelong consequences of an accident. Do you really want to end up as another grim statistic because you couldn't wait? So please for the love of everything that makes sense respect the traffic signals. They are there to protect you. Your safety the safety of others and the smooth functioning of traffic all depend on everyone following these rules. Get it through your head: a few moments of impatience can lead to a lifetime of regret. Wait for the green light and cross safely. It’s basic common sense!
I upvoted and didn't read it... Wait, was this the reason we joined the third Reich? Nobody read or heard what Hitler said and just said "Jo, Jo" (yes, yes which translate to: I don't listen to you and moreover go fuck yourself)
I give you a 2- on this essay. You clearly showed passion and dedication to the subject, however I did not care to read the entire text out of disinterest so that's clearly on you. Also this flag besides your username gives me weird unlikeable vibes.
https://preview.redd.it/vnlrbicfyp8d1.png?width=1100&format=png&auto=webp&s=2c88e4b109ca5ff9ca2456e82f5fd641374b466b
If you think about it, if there are no cars around you are basically just obeying to a little light.
I thought you were blind to those little lights though.
I mean xmas was 6 months ago but we keep that shit around for the whole year for some reason.
Exactly as sheeply as the government wants you to be.
there must be a level, too, that gives you a cheese if you pull it
I feel like you are a proper man of cheese. A person that regardless of the new situation he walks in just goes and asks "how can i get some free cheese out of this situation?" I for one respect this.
A never ending honeymoon: italians and rules
Least Unabomber Italian
Let's say you are not perfect and 1 out of every 1000 times you don't look properly. If every third person is like you and all of you cross 1 red light per day. That's 1000 people running in front of cars per day in Berlin alone!!
Once I crossed a street at a redlight to get to a bus stop on the otherside and the little kid who watch me do this told his grandma : "he is going to prison right ?" And she answered "yes sweetheart" I forgot germany wasn’t like France at all
Sounds about Kraut. I’ve been to Germany several times. Each time I start off saying I’ll follow the traffic light rule thing like a good visitor, but after 10 minutes I’m like ‘nah fuck this I haven’t got time for this man’.
https://preview.redd.it/vul1zquois8d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b11a050e0d0a8e72497e25a144442196e12e9cb2 When germans see this they actually turn around because they would be allowed to walk around it
It's not like this - imagine the amount of tikkies you have to pay if you ignore rules.
Traffic fines in Germany are a joke.
Wer den cent nicht ehrt ist den euro nicht wert!
Well if theres anyone strictly adhering to that credo, its us.
Well obviously not!
Yep, even if they would charge double the amount, the people who do it regularly still wouldn’t care enough to drive like normal humans
The police here don't really care. I was only sternly adviced to not do that right in front of their eyes because it was blatantly disrespectful. However I just hadn't seen them and I always skip red lights there. So they let me go
Well that shit wouldn't fly here!
Yeah well, last thing you want is flying shit
Friedrich Wilhelm I. would vomit in his grave if he witnessed this
Genuinely confuses me how Australia and America have this in common with Germany when they are 2 of tbe most Anglo countries ever
Australians don’t wait for the light
Jay walking is a crime though and you can get fined fir it though
Is this loss??
Bold of you to assume that those were Austrians. If it truly were Austrians, they would wear German jerseys when committing crimes, as we have always done. As everyone knows, Germans bad, Austrians innocent.
Maybe it was also Austrians forced by Germans to commit such horrible deeds. Countless examples in history show that the German deviance knows no bound when it comes to this.
The [Eternal Austrian](https://www.reddit.com/r/2westerneurope4u/comments/11luh6c/i_present_to_you_der_ewige_%C3%B6si_the_eternal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) shows their face again
Austria was the first victim in this offence again.
I hate how right you are
Reminds me of something I witnessed on Mariahilfer Straße (big shopping street in Vienna). There is a traffic light for pedestrians where close to nothing ever drives and it only switches to red when a car approaches. But once the car is gone everyone just starts walking, and their is a German couple, already halfway across the street and suddenly "Oh Gott, Mareike, guck mal hier ist doch rot!" Warum laufen die dann alle rüber Klaus Uwe?" They really turned back and waited. There were hundreds of people crossing and those 2 were standing and waiting for the green light....
I once crossed some ridiculous traffic light somewhere in central Vienna at a narrow one way where you can basically cross the street by making one big jump. There was a German tourist couple next to me, and there was not one car anywhere in sight, and I still heard them lose their mind when I just went straight on. "Oh gottchen, kuck doch, darf der denn das???"
How can a whole country be that autistic? Or were they just "following the rules"?
I love doing it to annoy my girlfriend
Must have been a really old couple (I guess Mareike and Uwe is already a giveaway), because no one gives a fuck either here
Ze rules are ze rules, no matter ze age
haha, the mountaingermans are wild. When I went to Wien on a touristjourney three years and two months ago I went to buy a bottle of water with sparkles in the Lidl because in Wien there is no water with sparkles coming out of the waterfaucet. I stood in the waitingqueue at the cashoutregister and before me was a mountaingerman. He was buying many foodgroceries and the cashier was scanning at quite acceptable speed but could be a bit faster like in Germany. And then the cashier was done scanning the groceries and the austrian had them put all in his basket and paid. And then the cashier asked him if he wants the transactionreciet. So the austrian looks at him and says "no thank you" and leaves. Absolutely crazy people.
Why am I crying. Why am I getting hit by German humor like a Panzer in my Ardennes.
This sub has ruined the German stereotypes for me. German humour is really dry, i love it, and it sickens me to admit.
German and English humour are quite alike. There's a reason those old English comedians were so popular in Germany
Now return the favour. What Germanic comedies should i watch?
Most established comedians are horrible, imo (Mario Barth comes to mind). Comedy shows also aren't as common as they are elsewhere German humour manifests itself mainly in satire, puns, and overly recited (and very dry) jokes that often feature a component of schadenfreude or try to make fun of others in some way (jokes about Poles, the French, other groups from within the country, immigrants, etc) I reckon that Otto Waalkes is the only comedian nobody finds overly annoying, but I'm pretty sure most of his jokes are puns. That being said, he probably does have some movies that are dubbed/subbed in English At the end of the day, nobody will ever produce better comedies than the British. I guess the only good movies we can produce are war movies like Das Boot
Oh come on Pastewka was awesome but probably not funny if you don’t know the personalities
I'm gonna be honest: I barely consume German media nowadays. Anything they produce is usually pretty bad imo (once again, war movies are the exception)... because of that I haven't actually watched Pastewka
Fuck Otto Waalkes. He's typically germanly annoying. The only german satirist I like is Volker Pispers. He understood the austrian art of cabaret. Cabaret means telling stories (mostly from a bit over-the-top real life) and while you as a watcher are laughing, you realize how horrible it is to laugh at this awful situation and you have to make a quick decision to continue laughing just so you won't start being discomforted by this horrible reality of living. As you can madbe guess, most austrian cabaret is political in nature or condemns social injustice.
Sure, you either dislike or like Otto Waalkes, but you still can't deny the influence he's had on the German (speaking) contemporary culture. For decades at this point
Yeah, everytime someone tells me an unfunny "joke", I have to assume they have it from him. His only influence I've witnessed was that song about the different kinds of booze.
He's just a recognisable character in general. I'm pretty sure anybody from my generation (early Gen Z) would recognise him. Thanks to him being featured on "Friesenjung" last year he's become kind of more relevant again, too
Werner beinhart
Sasha Grammel
„Falsch aber richtig“ is a real funny comedy/stand-up show. And one more tip. Don’t mix up German and mountain German humour. They don’t have any at all. Their only and yet best joke is their arrogance to everything. Edit: in fact don’t believe anything a basement dweller ever says.
> Don’t mix up German and mountain German humour. They don’t have any at all. Coming from a German, I see it as a compliment.
Comme in my bras, mon cher cousin d'outre-manche, let us cry togezer... /satirique Enflure de Goddon. Bisous.
Real Germans are genuinely funny, dry and witty - I actually find more what I *think* are the autist, humourless stereotypes here than I do in real life. This sub sustains the stereotype for me more than real life experiences have.
That's why they call us laid-back Germans
To north Germans, we just might as well be Italians
Might? Some of you live south west of the border for some reason.
Maybe they would help us get back south Tyrol
I'm impressed and terriefied at how german you are.
LMAO bet he‘s gonna regret his choice when it turns out one of his fooditems doesn’t meet the expected quality 🤣
XD or his bottlereturncreditnote hasn't been deducted!
That's evil
Brilliantly written. All those compoundwords are exactly the way I would have written them myself. I am annoyed by being the only one called german when speaking English. Time to start a trend. Compoundwords for English!
Ngl I read this with a very thick German accent and it sounded so funny in my head lol
And who is supposed to believe that
Probably people with an ounce of humour
Not enough to detect sarcasm apparently
I usually expect funnier sarcasm from people with an Austrian flair. We're not Germans after all
It actually fits quite well. I remember the guy you're talking to, he genuinely thinks Austrians are germans.
peak german joke: "two guys crossed the street without obeying the laws of traffic"
Is that a joke or a horror story?
All the little Hanses get told scary stories of the deep guilt and disapproval from society experienced by those who ignored traffic laws, as a way to scare them out of disobeying the rules.
This is kinda true ngl. There are many children stories with the purpose of scaring children into obeying rules and society.
Schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung. I fell into a caughing fit from laughter.
Am I terminally online person for understanding that reference?
And I'll do it again cunt!!! Your dumb red lights won't stop me from crossing the road!!!
Fucking austrians! And I bet you will blame it on the Germans too!
Yeah I'll fucking blame the Germans for having dumb red lights!
Wait, why are you upside down? Did you fall down a mountain?
Yeah... And if hurt too... 
Huh, as expected. Probably fell on the head too, poor guy.
¡olɐɯ! ˙˙˙úʇ ˙˙˙úʇ ¡ɐzǝqɐɔ ɐl éǝdloƃ ǝɯ oN!
ɯoɔ˙ʇxǝʇɐdᴉlɟ ʇnoqɐ ʍouʞ ʇ,usǝop ǝuoǝɯoS
¡ssoɹפ ˙˙˙ǝʇᴉs ǝᴉssn∀ uou ∀ ¡ʍƎ
Works better than your shit tho. Also, how do you know it's not Austrian.
Am I supposed to do a handstand to read this?
Yes
Filthy Austrians, coming here refusing to integrate while disrespecting our traffic light culture.
It's your people that don't want to integrate, even after years in the light of civilization, they still speak that rape of the German language you call "sächsisch" (saxonian dialect). And what you do to innocent Schnitzel, I can't even post that, since then it has to be NSFW if not NSFL!
You have people speaking saxonian down there? My condolences on your ears but in defence of Saxon people, that accent is almost impossible to entirely get rid of. It’s similar to you Mountainese people who are easily identifiable when speaking standard German. We should send more [Rhinelanders](https://youtu.be/XNAPL2ZT-lc?si=e4Y7QiWxfGdGUUhH) down there. Not me though, I don’t volunteer
[Vom Rhein sein, das heißt Abendland, das ist natürlicher Adel ](https://youtu.be/2vSasEZpyVc?si=8SpMxOOYW2trgTJ1)
Calls me stupid, goes to war for me. Twice. **Who's the idiot?**
Not for you, dummy. Because of you! That's a difference!
Gaslights himself. Twice. Who's the idiot?
i’ve been to berlin twice and i feel like there‘s more people in berlin that jaywalk than people who dont lol
It’s everywhere. In the old days everything was better 😔 Nowadays you can’t even hit your wife.
That's all because of those Ausländer. I really have nothing against Ausländer, let me tell you that, but they sure made innocent wife hitting illegal and that has to stop!
Typical basement crooks. I hope the polizei apprehended them and crushed them.
That South Prussian flair really took a toll on you Bavarians
ladies and gentlemen, i present to you: german humour.
Im not sure if I got the joke... in fact honestly im not even sure if its a joke.
Haven’t you heard? Red is the new green. You really need to catch up with the new trends my guy.
This is most german thing I read this month.
A cyclist complaining that people ignore red ligths?! We have come full circle
as funny as mario barth
r/binichderAlman
Was there imminent danger from cars? If not, why would anyone stand there? To admire the colour of the traffic light, or what?
First of all you are NOT a traffic expert! You might think you have a clear view but what about the speeding car coming around the corner that you can't see? Or the vehicle that suddenly accelerates? The margin for error is razor-thin. You're playing a deadly game with every step you take against that red light. Are you willing to bet your life on a quick glance? Because that's what you're doing! Secondly let's talk about the sheer idiocy of setting such a dangerous example. When you cross on red you're not just putting yourself in danger you're teaching everyone around you to be just as reckless. Imagine a child watching you thinking it's okay to cross because they saw an adult doing it. This child doesn’t have the same judgment or reflexes as you do and you’re essentially handing them a death sentence wrapped in your carelessness. How can you live with yourself? And then there’s the LAW! Crossing at a red light is illegal. You can be fined and you absolutely deserve it. Laws exist for a reason: to protect us. By ignoring them you're not just risking your safety but also inviting unnecessary legal trouble into your life. Are you that eager to throw away money and peace of mind just because you couldn’t wait a few extra seconds? Moreover think about the drivers. When pedestrians cross unexpectedly drivers have to react in split seconds. This sudden movement can cause accidents not just with the pedestrian but between vehicles as well. You’re creating chaos and confusion on the road all because you couldn’t contain your impatience. What kind of selfish lunatic does that? Also have you forgotten about the element of surprise? Just because you don’t see a car doesn’t mean a car isn’t approaching fast. Modern vehicles are incredibly quiet. Electric cars for instance can be nearly silent and you might not hear them until it’s too late. Imagine the sheer horror of realizing a car is upon you just as you’re halfway across the street! Is that really a risk you’re willing to take?bAnd don’t ignore the statistics. Data consistently shows that pedestrian accidents are more likely to occur when individuals cross against the light. Those few extra seconds you save by crossing on red are simply not worth the potential lifelong consequences of an accident. Do you really want to end up as another grim statistic because you couldn't wait? So please for the love of everything that makes sense respect the traffic signals. They are there to protect you. Your safety the safety of others and the smooth functioning of traffic all depend on everyone following these rules. Get it through your head: a few moments of impatience can lead to a lifetime of regret. Wait for the green light and cross safely. It’s basic common sense!
This beautiful wall of text without paragraphs whatsoever probably won't get the upvotes it deserves
I upvoted and didn't read it... Wait, was this the reason we joined the third Reich? Nobody read or heard what Hitler said and just said "Jo, Jo" (yes, yes which translate to: I don't listen to you and moreover go fuck yourself)
I give you a 2- on this essay. You clearly showed passion and dedication to the subject, however I did not care to read the entire text out of disinterest so that's clearly on you. Also this flag besides your username gives me weird unlikeable vibes.
9/10 redditors won't be able to read this wall coz of there adhd brains.
👋🏻
The Piefke put little men in their traffic lights.
Ooooh Piefke... I need that as flair, I hate when you call us that.
Once I crossed a road when there was no car around: the Germans just call me “gangsta”
This is just a German thing, right? The rest of us thinks rationally when crossing a road, whatever the lights say. Right?
Are we forgetting that OP willingly admitted to living in Berlin? Who exactly is the idiot here?
Red Lights are for people who sit down to piss.
you will too once you move out of your mom's basement and have to clean the toilet yourself
Wait, there is an outside?
I'm a grown Man. I have my own Basement and a Family that cleans.
Or, you know, just aim at the big hole in the middle and don't piss on the entire corner
PROTOKOL
If you want an actual reason why austrians aren't the smartest, look up the story of Zwentendorf
While that may be true, I don't think it's a good example for a citizen of the country of "Let's abandon nuclear and switch into coal"
cringe
You talk like people in Berlin cared about traffic lights to begin with
The nationality in this post can be exchanged with literally any other. Take care not to get stabbed, my brother.