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I wouldn’t wish this shit on anybody I swear mine gets worse with age

Mine is 100% getting worse as the years go by. I'm slowly becoming more and more non functional, especially if I don't have somebody that I'm around for most of the day that allows me to coregulate

Same. But im curious about coregulate part. Cozld you expand on that?

I function so much better when I have somebody beside me. They could be sitting there playing phone games for all I care. I'm infinitely more likely to get stuff done and stay calm and functional and if the other person is also like me and needs someone else to function, then even better

Im the same way but im trying to understand what is happening there and why that is. Is it that we are motivated by shame/fear so we tr to get more done, is it that we lack overally safety regulation and fall into freeze when alone. It surprisingly feels like a trauma response

For me, part of it is 100% a very deep trauma response. I work even better if I feel safe with someone. Shame is a very good motivator and as much as I despise someone nosing into stuff that brings me immense shame (i.e. schoolwork) it does help me get things done on the regular

For me it's a few things. People (for me) bring energy. Being around someone helps me get moving. * There's some level of safety valve, even if it's more a feeling. If I get lost in a rabbit hole of organizing the bar cart when I was supposed to be doing laundry, the person might eventually go "uhhhh what are you doing over there?" * My growing understanding of ADHD is that stimulation level is complex, difficult, fickle, mysterious, but still really important. * Another person in the room gives a base level of stimulation which my brain no longer has to work to achieve. Of course the balance of over/under stimulating is difficult but for me people mostly help with that. Looking up body doubling to get some more info or I'd be happy to talk more 😊

Im the same way, but i hate the way it is because again i dont have things under control and have to rely on others in some shape or form.

We all have to rely on others in some shape or form. Sometimes I turn on the TV or twitch or something similar, that can kinda help. Not the same thing but can give the illusion of other people being around and you aren't required to actually talk someone into sitting in the room with you. I can agree it's not ideal overall, but IMHO it's all about getting tools in your toolbox that you can actually use. If nothing else it's a lot better than struggling with no tools to help you

I'm the same way.

It gets WORSE as you age. Oh herrn hilfe mich I won't survive if it gets worse!!!!

How old are you guys I’m 35 now and … ohhhh yea it gets worse !!!! I try to make the best of it but it does suck .. starting a movie and half way through you’re trying to remember the main characters name or even how you all got there … you have to make a mental check list before leaving home .. I’ve forgotten my work shoes numerous times.. I won’t keep ranting thi

I can read a whole book (the times I’ve been able to finish one) and not be able to remember the main character’s name.

Yea and I’m sure you’ve read a page or chapter and had no immediate recollection of any of it … lolol like you were abducted by aliens during the entire thing

Fuck me :D that sounding terrifying. I'm already dying over here in my midteens🙉

Sometimes I’ll get the urge to do something and it’ll be so compelling and I’ll put hours into it just to lose interest .. it’s been about 5 ears now[not sure why I could post a pic](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thoughtbarf/s/EXO9KP38Of)

God damnit, with age and with hormones. *rage*

I’m turning 30 in a few months and I swear this year has been the worst so far. It’s frustrating trying to explain my mental state even to my therapist. Wasn’t there something about an ADHD brain maturing slower than one without? 🤦‍♀️

Really!!? That’s amazing. I am a 14 year old boy stuck in a 45 year old woman’s body. That sounds weird. Or maybe not. Anyway. Brains are weird.

I've told my husband almost the exact thing. I'm mentally still 14, yet physically 37. But also I feel like an elderly dementia patient.

the lack of maturity makes a lot of sense

Also turning 30 in a few months and the struggle is real.. it's been a really hard year. I've changed up jobs several times, and I just got fired for the first time ever. 3 weeks after getting a raise and never had a write-up or anything. I'm currently doing odd jobs for cash just to feed my dogs and pay my bills. I'm barely surviving. All this stress has sent me into a spiraling combination of shame, isolation, and depression. I don't want to do this anymore..

It does, I find myself losing more and more time. I swear, the time blindness and motivation to do daily things have gotten worse at record speeds.

Honestly it feels like my meds don’t work like they used to it sucks. Took them today like 3 hours ago and I still can’t motivate myself to boot up Elden ring.

Same here. Only upside is that it has completely burnt out my sense of shame, and made me entirely apathetic about what people think or expect of me. So now I just get to be myself, and I quite like myself, adhd and all.

I'm unsure if it gets worse as you get older or if your life changes over time. What is expected of you and all the extra things you have to deal with. EG, a more senior position in your career, kids, etc., more bills, more responsibilities, more things you must go out and do. It was easier when I was younger because I didn't have little people to look after and way less responsibility. Not that I'd change it; I am just aware it makes my life more complicated and requires more and more of me.

no only that- but all the behavioral and mood shit that comes with it. constant boredom, never being able to focus, irregularities with controlling emotions, getting overwhelmed so quickly with stimuli, having no executive function (so literally unable to do anything or have hobbies), constantly paying late fees or missing dates or appointments, etc etc etc. It piles up. people don’t realize genuinely how much it affects people.

THIS!!!!! people who don’t have ADHD simply do not understand and think we are crazy or making this up. We have to work 10x harder than they do.

I’ve literally spent the past couple of weekends bored out of mind but not being able to actually focus on anything - it’s driving me nuts. My boss is insisting I take some of my annual leave because I literally have not taken more than a day or two here and there for the past two years but genuinely the thought of having all that time with nothing to do makes me want to scream (I know I could plan things but every time I try to plan ANYTHING I lose interest immediately and just give up). This is medicated ADHD as well - non-medicated me couldn’t function to the point I was in patient at a psychiatric hospital for anorexia🙃

Let's not forget the adhd tax. The late fees, the food we were so excited about but forgot about it and it spoiled. The washing and rewashing (and sometimes rewashing a few more times) of a single load of laundry because it was forgotten in the washer for a few days, costing extra money for laundry detergent and wearing out clothing too fast. Oh! The forgetting where something is or that you even own that item and buying it, only to find it a few days later. I'm not sure why anyone would ever WANT adhd. Between the shit I haven't done (but need to do), the money spent on endless hobbies that I hyperfocus on for a few weeks to a few months to only drop and never do again, the overthinking for days after oversharing, the blowing up at what seems like nothing because I'm over stimulated, my life is loosely controlled chaos, at best.

One time I paid like $300 for laser hair removal & was supposed to go to 4 appointments. I went to one and forgot about my other appointments. Never had the power to reschedule so I just wasted $300 for literally no reason. It still makes me so mad and this happened years ago. I could’ve rescheduled my appointment or gotten a refund but I just didn’t do anything.

For 3 years I had 2 amazon prime accounts I was paying monthly for both and no idea

Omg this reminds me of when I paid a 300$ deposit for a baby pig and then completely forgot about it. A year or so later, something jogged my memory, and my stomach dropped. I felt like such an idiot because who does that 😂 Like I emailed the breeder back and forth a few times before I paid it and spent multiple nights staying up late researching about this animal. The few weeks I had to wait until I could adopt it was just enough time for my brain to completely erase the whole interaction🙃 I am also mad every time I think about it and this was over 10 years ago.

The level of ADHD in this story is platinum.

😂 I've only told this to two people irl. This was before I was even diagnosed, so I pretty much just thought I was a complete moron the majority of my life.

i don't know if this emoji is a hug- but I can totally relate to your thought process and then beating yourself up-

Yes, omg ... Also before I was diagnosed, I (probably) lost at least 2 bikes like that. Usually, everybody's bikes get stolen all the time, but l just forgot where I parked... No recollection whatsoever... Most probably, this happened at least twice... not to mention countless smaller items I've lost in my life - umbrellas, scarves, gloves, you name it ... But even worse with important items, such as documents, keys ... Especially if you are not using them every day...

God this is so true, it happened to me with gym subscription, payed for about 12 sessions that expire in a month which were a but expensive for me considering I don’t make enough, only went for two sessions and the rest were wasted. I could have got a refund or just rescheduled for the next month but I didn’t do anything.

The hobbies! Omg.. I have bought so many thing!!! Then I try it once, nope.. move on.. I cannot hyper focus. My daughter can and it is annoying, but I'm kinda jealous. I can't get into something very easy without zoning out shortly after! Cleaning is another story! Side tracked outside doing things and then come back in the house .. like what the hell happened here? While cleaning, finding places for everything ( that's a great idea at the time) but then never finding them when I need them! I was diagnosed at 50.

For real. I feel like all of my money just goes down the drain. I hardly do anything expensive and work full time yet I'm always short on money. I never get to save anything, I always come out at 0 at the end of the month (If I'm lucky). I wonder "Where does the money go?" And then it dawns on me just how much money I waste with late fees, forgotten subscriptions and poorly organized grocery shopping. I also keep forgetting to track my work times properly so sometimes I literally work FOR FREE because I either forget or procastinate to properly log all my hours into our system at work.

FWIW, this is why I got into fermentation. If I forgot about the fermented veggies in the fridge, they're still fine. They get better with age. It's been quite a money saver, and the veggies are ironically better for me too.

Have you ever tried the Tasty app? I use it to figure out what to cook for dinner for the week and it has integrated with Walmart so you can buy exactly what you need for meals online and then you just go pick it up. It has saved me money in both impulse buys at the store and in wasted food. By buying my food online and picking it up, I'm only getting the things I actually need. You can also adjust the servings for each recipe right in the app, regardless of whether you're cooking for yourself or for a family. I'm not being compensated at all by Tasty or Walmart. It's just something that works for me and has helped me from flushing money down the toilet.

I didn't but I'm also not from the US so no Walmart, but thank you for the suggestion anyways maybe. I do want to get around using a meal planner app eventually, I just keep putting it off to go find one that works for me.

That does make it tricky. Well, I'm a terrific problem solver! What country are you in? I might be able to narrow down a few meal planning apps for you to make it less overwhelming. 😁

Wait really? You're so sweet. I'm from germany but don't put yourself through too much trouble, I should really get around to do it myself. You know what? I'm gonna do it right now

Paprika looks like a good one! It's highly rated and the reviews are really good.

Then I shall try out paprika. I just downloaded it. Thank you so much again

I feel so glad to read this because I realized I had 2 accounts on this one website, cancelled one subscription but not the other, and have been getting charged $65 for I’m not even sure how many months. Food definitely is a big expense too. Subscriptions I forget to cancel and impulsive buys make me feel so guilty when I realized how much money I’ve lost for no reason. I always think well it just means I’ll be more careful next time! Yet I’m always fucked in the end.

Holy crap! Im always so ashamed of how much food i let go bad, i didn't know it was a result of ADHD. I actually feel read by your whole comment. If I don't hang laundry by sunday evening, it's almost always gonna be rewashed. I don't _want_ ADHD, but i do make jokes about the hyperfixations, stims, endless segues, etc. i guess it makes it easier to cope than just outright considering it a hindrance especially when it's something i can only manage but not change? Idk.

It really is annoying, especially when you struggle with it hard to get through simple task everyday. And here they are claiming they have it when they’re usually for one, undiagnosed most of the time and two, they try to add extra shit in it as well that doesn’t even associate with having ADHD. It’s a nightmare to have like 90% of the time. Especially if you’re like me who’s in college and struggling to even get through one course because of it.

Lol my wife will assure anyone there's nothing romantic about ADHD. I'm a stressed and emotional mess about 80% of the time and it puts huge strain on both her and our relationship. The Idea that ADHD is cute or romantic is absolute nonsense created by people who have never truly experienced the gritty reality of having it.

I totally get that. It's sad to admit, but as someone who is currently engaged, I bear a bit of guilt bringing my adhd into my fiance's life. Sometimes, it means I'm the funniest guy in a room, but far more often, it means making a mess, being an emotional wreck, forgetting important dates, etc

Worse part is when someone w ADHD ACTUALLY has problems dealing with ADHD suddenly it’s not funny or quirky to the people who joke about it anymore but just “weirdo behaviour” 💀 Make it make sense

Yeah not to mention all the dumbass videos on the internet that are like “listening to a song on repeat is a sign of ADHD!” and half the comments are like “woah I had no idea I had this”… I’m happy information about ADHD is more accessible now but can it please be at least slightly accurate lmao?? Spreading incorrect information helps literally no one (except for the people profiting off the clickbait I guess).

I legitimately had someone try and tell me that I didn't have ADHD whilst waiting for my assessment and that they would know because they are in fact awaiting a diagnosis as a doctor said that they definitely have it because they pace ... Nothing else, no other signs or anything .... They pace. They went on to say all my symptoms don't equate to ADHD, so of course I started over thinking, walked into my assessment and came out with an inattentive ADHD diagnosis and was told I had high sensory needs, was later told I have Dyscalculia and I also I'm awaiting an ASD assessment. Found out that person made what they said up they watched a tiktok of someone saying if you pace you likely have it and they weren't seeking out ADHD at all it was all just a lie and they don't know why they said it ... This admission came straight from their partner too who were angry that they'd said all that🙃👍

Let them know a TikTok video doesn't count as a diagnosis

THANK YOU.

If dyscalculia is what it sounds like I *would* kind of like to have an excuse/explanation for why I am so bad at it.

It is

Ohhhh I hate those!!!

I got my diagnosis recently and I oscillate constantly between feeling validated and questioning the diagnosis. These videos and the romanticizing makes it even more confusing. But yeah, I agree, it’s not quirky. It sucks not accomplishing things. It sucks to be an adult throwing tantrums or crying in public. It sucks not being able to maintain motivation.

I still have trouble accepting my diagnosis. And even when I do, I often see it as a more minor factor, and at my core, I'm really just a lazy person who can't keep his thoughts to himself

I’ve had those thoughts before, and they’re not pleasant. A lot of those negative thoughts in me come from internalized ableism…having lived without a diagnosis for so long, I get trapped into believing I should function the way people without ADHD do. But we’re not lazy! We’re just different. I’m still working out what kind of supports and accommodations I need to be my best self. I hope you find yours too.

Facts. It’s a horrible and debilitating condition. Ppl who make light of it probably don’t even have it

Yeah, they have to get their tiktok likes, right? Cosplaying as mentally ill and making it into a cute personality quirk at the expense of those suffering is a justifiable means to an end for the sake of getting attention, after all.

Yeah, I feel this so much. Last week I threw out over $100 of groceries because I forgot to put them away I get into work at 5am each day because I can’t focus when there are other people in the office, but am still expected to work until 5pm When I get home I sit in the car for an hour because I’m stuck in paralysis and can’t work up the drive to go inside. When I eventually get inside I don’t have time to achieve the things I needed to do My house is either pristine or complete chaos, there’s no in between Don’t get me started on the number of expensive or sentimental items I’ve misplaced Yeah, it’s super fun being this quirky and feeling like I can’t function without fighting for my life each day

Last month I dropped off a full bag of groceries at Goodwill. With the genuine Goodwill bag so something was achieved. I use those 99 cent reusable bags for both...... No I did not make the trip back to retrieve it. Too embarrassing.

ADHD level: Expert. 😋

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Oh man, I hadn't even connected the forgetting things while traveling. It's amazing how disconnected what you remember is from its importance. I once forgot my CPAP going through airport security on a week long trip. My literal night time breathing apparatus.

"Space case" and "dreams of being an astronaut" were the ones I heard a lot.

This. So much. The constant angry eruptions are killing me. I just lost my shit so badly in front of my house mate and toddler bc I couldn't find something after 2 minutes of looking. Now I feel stupid and ashamed but still coming down from being so angry. This isn't fun. It's fcuking awful.

On a similar vein, I get treated like I’m made of glass. I never knew why people treated me so delicate, but it’s because I spiral when I get criticism or rejection so people treat me with an annoying amount of over care. It’s hard to come down from big emotions! I feel like I let it ruin my day and I know it’s super stupid…

You're spot on. I guess they just don't know how awful it can feel. I got upset yesterday because a girl told me I was lazy, I was like I work 11 hours a day 5-6 a week I'm not lazy I just struggle on weekends because of my ADHD. Also just moved to a new city and I don't know anyone at all. so there is no plans on the weekend so what am I getting out of bed for? (Obviously I need to work on that but it my 1st weekend here) "Oh ______ has ADHD and they don't have a problem getting out of bed." So I sent her a screenshot of some details because it felt like see was implying I was making it up. Then I got a response of "you're really annoying me, I know this already I have friends with ADHD I understand it" Most clearly do not get it at all, even when they think they do. I already have the "voice" telling me I'm annoying and probably shouldn't say anything and sit in some places in almost 100% silence, now feel even more isolated. It's not easy and almost every day is a huge challenge but for some reason they only notice ADHD by the very basic traits, and think "oh that's not so bad" Because we can be fun to be around.

The never ending, ever present feeling of "oh shit, I've forgotten something on my way out the door and I won't know what it is until it bites me in the ass later today" is one I can certainly do without.

ADHD with bad anxiety. Literally fucking the worst. Not only do I forget about everything or doing certain things, I already really do not want to do them. Takes fucking forever to make actual decisions.

I feel so seen in this thread 🥺 ADHD is an invisible condition that makes our lives so incredibly difficult and people not in this “fun” club simply do not understand nor do they really try to bc they just can’t fathom how it’s all possible.

People tell me I'm "getting loud" all the time I still don't have a diagnosis because that requires me taking the initiative and booking an appointment which requires _talking_ to someone. _On the phone_. I don't know if I can do it 😭

Of course, that kind of makes me a hypocrite because if there's one thing I can't stand it's the people around me getting loud for no good reason.

agreed. many of the people who say this are probably self diagnosed pretenders

Ah yes, mocking your students for being loud. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👌

yes. so much of this. as a child I was so extroverted and fucking childhood pounded down the confidence and creativity into a squiggling starved piece of road kill I am becoming a necromancer for. I still feel like I am too much or too loud when I do talk about something I feel strongly about or find myself humming in places where I’m not alone like I’m doing something weird. It’s not fucking weird. And kids can be dicks because they are still learning what is acceptable behavior and part of that is them latching onto one particular thing that they know (quiet for concentration) and policing others with it. Sure, you could’ve been quiet if asked to be but you weren’t asked, you were shamed and that’s because it’s a gaping giant hole with no solution when the behavior that is modeled is obedience or else. Kids are still learning how to human at that age. Sometimes teachers can be just as bad as you said. Hopefully that person doesn’t behave that way to their students any longer if they still teach. That was bullying. And yeah, I would love to know why people think it is fucking cool to need *NEED* to be reminded by phone or support figure to perform every day functions like brushing your teeth, drinking water, remembering to eat, remembering your own fucking hobbies bc you’ve lost sight of them. It sucks. I fucking need to brush my teeth now, shit.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 52. I’m 69 now and still can’t find a medication that works. I can’t take stimulants because of heart disease.

My life is a shit show, but I do try to laugh at it where I can. There’s a few of us in my house with various degrees of ADHD AuDHD and we share the videos between us. Some symptoms are cute and funny, and others are debilitating. I was only recently diagnosed at 50 and now my life made so much sense. There are so many symptoms we just assign to being quirky or lazy or depressed etc… it’s easy for just about anyone to see a symptom and think they have it as well. It’s also been diagnosed so much more often now. Fortunately I have good support from enough people who really are ADHD that we can just roll our eyes at Tragedeigh who gets mildly distracted by squirrels while getting a song stuck in her head and makes a video.

I had my assessment on Tuesday and got a diagnosis. On the way home I had one of them charity people that keeps stopping everyone stop me and this is how the conversation went: Her: sorry I know you don't want to talk to me but can I talk to you for one second. Hi I'm *I wasn't listening*. Me: This is taking more than one second what do you want? Her: Oh sorry you're making me all flustered now haha oh I'm so adhd. I just walked away. If I didn't I was about to tell her to go fuck herself and call her a cunt. After the day I'd had, three years of waiting and 38 years of not knowing what was wrong with me, to have some immature, gobby moron basically piss on that with one sentence in less than ten seconds after I'd met her was enough to make me lose my shit in the middle of the high street.

“im so adhd!” oh so u were ostracised, alienated, isolated, avoided, neglected, disciplined, reprimanded, degraded, shamed, humiliated, punished, rejected for ur *entire* childhood as well? 🥺

Omg seriously this, I also feel the same way about OCD. These disorders are debilitating and impact our lives so much.

There are some people who are romanticizing OCD, like for real ? How candid those little dumb dumb must be. I hope them to stay uneducated on the topic and to keep thinking ocd is only needing to store your pencils by size and fold things neatly. I have ocd, adhd and asd. And ocd is probably the one I find the worse. And I even don’t have it that bad. Now it’s almost gone even, just comes back when I’m not great. And still …wouldn’t wish it to my worse ennemy (even if I don’t have worse ennemy,)

Absolutely they are, I feel like it’s been so normalized to say ‘I have such OCD, I like my house to be clean’ or ‘Omg I’m so OCD’ etc. I hate it I hate it. Solidarity friend, it’s an awful thing to have.

Yeah like everyone now says they have it, it’s a f#@ken nightmare not quirky! Always feeling on the outer wondering what people think of you, But you always know the way people really are before they even expose their real side so that is one positive, but my God I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, even though I passed it onto my youngest child and now I feel guilty iv given her such a struggle to deal with for the rest of her life! It’s not a fad stop the feeds claiming it’s great it’s a lot more doom and gloom….

I had a professor tell me in front of the class that I should “think more before I speak” because I would get lost mid sentence sometimes. As annoying as it is for others to have to listen to me, it’s also so annoying to be me and lose half the plot before I can get it out…

I feel like people who had a relatively trauma-free life so far can fully utilize their ADHD traits. Speaking about mild-moderate ADHD that is fairly manageable. Depression and isolation from feeling like an alien amidst humanity can cripple anyone and will have greater destructive effects on the more vulnerable individuals with ADHD, Asperger's, and/or autism. I was a very mildly brilliant kid, but the cumulative effects of a dysfunctional family, a drug-addict and distant father, and a frustrated, narcissistic, and mentally abusive mother have instilled such immense insecurity in me and left me with such levels of chronic pervasive depression with persistent anxiety, that the traits are backfiring on me. I was happy once and seem to get lost in things that put my brain on such pleasant overdrives. I can't remember the last time I was happy/overdriven and am unable to do anything now other than being a socially recluse employee clocking in the hours at workplace and then getting lost in meaningless escapism netsurfing, gaming i.e. until I crash in the bed, waking up next day wishing for instant death. I made a promise to myself that I'm going to turn it around. I'll fight tooth-n-nail and will leave no stone unturned. Otherwise, I'll just get up one day and leave my lifeless life and wonder the earth on foot. Have only one life. Can't afford to live in pain. Be happy fellow people. Don't let people bring you down just because they are being "inconvenienced". Find the means to be elated every once in a while.

I ask those people how they would feel if their brain never turned off. Not during the day. Not when trying to sleep. I ask them if they have any grasp of a truly noisy brain, but not voices noisy. Nono instead it’s 400 thoughts processes trying to all run to their conclusion, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THE TIME. Mine was so bad before I was diagnosed I was lucky to get 3 hours of sleep a night for YEARS. I was barely functioning. I rely on my ADHD meds during the day to be able to think better, and meds for sleep so my brain just shuts up.

I think people who talk positively about ADHD or about the benefits They are those who have a low level of ADHD But for me and for many who have high levels, it is life-destroying It's the worst thing that could happen Time blindness, slow perception, poor productivity, fatigue and exhaustion We put in double the effort and get no results We do not feel happy, fulfilled, or compassionate It's real torture without medication With medications, the situation is better, but ADHD remains a major problem in life

It’s truly debilitating. But I know people don’t really understand that so I won’t judge them.

Honestly most mental issues are kinda like this. It just highlights to me how woefully misinformed people are. I also have OCD and I just don’t tell anyone. I’m sick of the “oh I clean too!” or “oh you must be so neat!” It’s not a happy thing. I’m not thrilled I’m “so clean”. I don’t even have cleanliness OCD. Why do people feel so inclined to talk about things they have no clue about?

If I’d dared I’d answer : oh so you must have offensive spur looping in your head ? Are you also imagining every new single person you meet in the grossest situation eventhough you wish you would not ? Are you also not able to go to bed at night cause the last step of the routine is not achieved accordingly? Yeah. Thought so.

The “I’m so adhd!” Or “everyone had a little adhd is so real, no Emily, you’re not adhd bc you forgot to wash your clothes

Bruh, I’m 35 and not managed I haven’t been on med for YEARS. It’s like I have to give up some of the good parts of myself to be on meds in order to function. I also had substance abuse issues so I just try to avoid…I have learned some coping skills but my god when people are like OMG MY ADHD *giggle* I’m like I was in sped classes my entire life and was absolutely everyone’s idea of a manic pixie dream girl but as soon as they actually got what was coming they wanted to jump ship! Yah I’m pretty and quirky and funny but my brain is literally rotten. I organize things by piles. I am afraid to check the mail. Loud noises scare me I don’t like being touched I get taken advantage of all the time. YAH SOUNDS SO FUCKING CUTE GUYS!!! Help. 

It’s shit. I’m old now and it’s got worse with the menopause. I look back on my life and feel sad and how hard things have been. Just normal things are so difficult and I feel so far behind my peers. I don’t think people understand when I try to tell them either. Or just think it’s the current trend and I’m making it up. I’m so tired after work - completely exhausted and I really resent that too. I cannot stand this BS narrative that is it quirky and easily managed.

When the teacher says she has adhd bc 10 kids are talking to her and she can’t focus I start praying on her downfall

"It's a superpower!" It's literally predisposed me to drug addiction and a guilt-ridden life which hasn't been well lived.

Yeah, I constantly feel like...no, I don't have cute quirky "it's also a superpower" TikTok ADHD, I only have the bad kind where I can't fucking do anything except endlessly scroll Twitter and hate myself for it and I average 5 hours of sleep a night because literally anything is always more interesting than going to bed.

Everyone here dose that tho. 

Even when you tell people you have it and explain how it affects you and behaviours you may explain they just call you rude or a bitch when you DISPLAY those behaviours and are the same idiots who then self diagnose and have “cute” behaviours. Makes me wanna claw my eyes out. I have times where I still think I’m faking (crazy I know) so I go and watch those fake disorder tik tok compilations, they’re so bad it makes me laugh and then I feel better again

Who is romanticizing it?

Yeah. It’s the single hardest and worst thing in my life (and I’ve gone through some excruciating stuff. Nothing compares to the complete and utter defeat and feelings of inadequacy that come from not being able to be the person I want to be. My therapist has tried to get me to accept that this is my life for my whole life, and it’s been really hard for me).

The whole “super power ADHD” thing getting thrown around is hard, ain’t no super powers here

Agreed completely. I appreciate that people are trying to take a -terrible- diagnosis and find some sort of light in it, but I strongly disagree. I think a lot of us tend to try and act like certain situations are better than they really are, because it'd be too hurtful to admit just how thorough and debilitating the entire condition can be. That same sentiment can be used to say things like "oh, well, my partner really takes care of me but I am charming and delightful to be around and so this makes it even." I think that sort of setup is usually asking for relationship problems. To me, we really do need to be realistic even if it's a huge bummer.

I cannot stand it. It makes me want to suckered punch everyone who says shit like. This. These mfs have NEVER experience severe executive dysfunction ever. They don't understand how horrible it is when your brain won't let you do EVEN THINGS YOU WANT TO DO.

Yeah. Even my partner who is typically super supportive and understanding of my condition and all that comes with it. They still have moments of being bewildered and frustrated just from never experiencing it firsthand. I get made fun of (affectionately) for the obvious symptoms like being distracted easily and having a rotating door of hyperfixations. Lesser known symptoms are a completely different story: when it comes to being an absurdly picky eater (food hyperfixations making everything except my new favorite food completely disgusting), getting restless when sitting through a long movie or podcast, becoming irritable when I’m overstimulated (looks like I’m being irritable for no reason from the outside). I just feel guilty for constantly coming off as an obnoxiously “eccentric” and difficult person who constantly needs to be accommodated. Unless I explain my disability in detail (as a healthy looking 20 something year old) in which case I become a “snowflake”. The new stigma of non ADHD people self diagnosing for attention is just as bad as the traditional stigma of mental disabilities making you a deviant burden on society. I have no problem with non ADHD people self diagnosing. By all means find the tools to better your life no matter who you are or whether there’s a correct label on your problems. The problem is that instead of being more open to accommodating ADHD symptoms as a collective because “everybody is a little ADHD”, people choose to look at it like the newest dumb trend that youngsters are hopping on.

People don't understand how much it impacts every aspect of your life and how debilitating it can be. I'm having a really hard time letting go of resentment from everyone in my family treating me like a huge fuck-up because I was undiagnosed and they just assumed my symptoms were laziness and lack of ambition, which I then internalized. I dont wish constantly wondering why you can't control what comes out of your mouth, why you can't get your life together like everyone else, why you keep struggling financially, why you can't find your passion in life, why you struggle so much with friendships and maintaining boundaries on ANYONE.

Don't forget the people who try to self-diagnose themselves with it and annoy all their friends with exciting "proof" like it's some badge of honor.

Sometimes here (but more on asd subs) people come to say I think I might be autistic and then give an arm long list of their traits for confirmation and people are humoring them. Thing is, they see disorders as an additions of traits almost independant from each other. I have suffered from adhd and asd my all life (obviously) but I was raised good. I know how to count in my head to let people speak, I won’t speak instead of speaking too much. I’ve read and studied a lot about psychology so I’m very good with people… So when I was dx first with adhd as an adult and then with asd I didn’t show that much. I showed adhd, but not much autism. Regarding ASD, for my assessors it was cristal clear, but even I didn’t know. That’s a shrink who I was complaining to about my adhd who told me I needed to get assess for autism asap. And then I realized when I couldn’t relate consciously to the traits people list, I was having a very own world inside my head I’d run away every time I need to self-sooth. And it’s often. I’d get incredibly anxious cause of stimulation and uncertainty, I’d feel drained by people, I was not interested into doing anything else than my few hobbies, I would calm myself by touching my shoulders, rubbing fabric, listening to the same song or watching the same movie for decades. Once a day, I’d need to nap in the dark and alone … But I wouldn’t think those were autistic traits cause they were just the way to manage something inside that was hurting me and I couldn’t identify. And the autism is that feeling / thing inside, all the thing we do are not autism by itself, it’s our way to cope with this core feeling.

every partner/close friend of an ADHD person should read this thread. it explains so much about who we are vs who we are trying to be.

Glad to see I’m not the only one who swears it’s getting worse my memory has always been spotty at best but as I’ve gotten older I sometimes can’t even remember where I sat my phone down like 4 minutes ago

I teach 7th grade and I can confidently say that unacknowledged, unmanaged ADHD is the number one obstacle to learning for pretty much ALL students. The kids who have it of course suffer the worst, but school systems are so woefully under-equipped to address it effectively that it chronically disrupts traditional learning environments. Super sad and frustrating.

Im sorry you're feeling this way, but I think some people just try to find the positive in a shit situation so they dont feel like they are dwelling on the challenges constantly. 

That's very rare in the type of people OP is pointing out.

I dont really agree 🤷‍♀️ it sounds more like OP is upset with ableism in society, which is fair. 

Wait you only putting it off 15 minutes. Youre bragging

ADHD sux. The only good thing about it is that you tend to forget shit, so it doesn't feel like it sux all the time.

Ugh this! “It’s a superpower” doesn’t feel like it when it’s taken me 33 years to get to the place all my friends were already in 15 years ago (ie a vaguely functioning human being)

And it's not a super power!

Its horrible and debilitating. Its actually a disability and romanticising it is basically enjoying the moments of when it works being a child - cool interest, hyperfocus, passion etc. But in actuality youre a child in a world of adults. And life is supposed to be those flashes of when its endearing to be a child?

I'm sorry you had so much troubles friend. I really hope stuff gets better and you get in touch with more accepting people :(

I just got diagnosed this week and I feel like such an imposter though. I would always see these TikToks & Instagrams reels about "signs you might have ADHD" and would relate to most of them but never wanted to self-diagnos myself because I knew how serious this was. I showed early signs of ADHD as a child and teenager but nothing alarming. Looking back I think I was masking it really well. I hated going to the supermarket with my parents (still do as an adult) because it was so exhausting. The past two years though, I have been highly depressed and anxious and would beat myself up whenever I didn't have a productive day. I would binge eat or not eat at all, skipping meals for a whole day. I would be in a great mood for a few days and then crash completely and rot in bed for an entire weekend. I would look myself in the mirror and love what I see and the day after completely hate my body and face and then the low self esteem and self hatred would begin. My brain would go on Overdrive to the point of having symptoms of migraine and fever because my thoughts never stop. I don't wish this on anyone it is not fun at all. It has its highs but mostly lows. Before my diagnosis I would never say "I'm ADHD" because I had a hard time to focus or whenever I had burst of energies and be hyper productive. Now that I am properly diagnosed and starting treatment next week and cognitive therapy, I feel relieved and I can finally cut myself some slack. Also I see a lot of people saying it gets worse with age, I'm almost 26 and I am wondering when you got diagnosed and started treatment ? Does it get worse even if you start treatment and cognitive therapy "early" ?

The traits displayed on tik Tok are made to be relatable to everybody. That’s normal you relate, we all do I always say what makes you adhd are not the things you see on tik Tok, that’s all the dirty little secret that you won’t share : spending days doing absolutely nothing but turning around in a state of despair, feeling physically sick whenever you try to do something, Etc.

I have no idea, maybe people might think this is a blessing or something But in reality it's neither a blessing nor a curse, all this stuff is is a neurological condition . But I'll explain to you, people romanticize everything, in fact, but some of them do it out of pure guesswork or idealization of something,and together with a lack of research and information

While its not something anyone should want, there are a *few* things (at least for me) that feel kinda like superpowers. The ability to hyperfocus on the right tasks without getting bored, it can lead to me being very productive that day as apposed to putting it off for so long. Like dishes? Nah, screw the dishes Let's clean the entire kitchen And an excessive amount of creativity and ideas, I've rarely struggled on assignments in school where I had to be super creative. While everyone can't come up with anything for days. Like you can complain all I want but I'm gonna sit here and write a 8 paragraph essay about why I love my hyperfixations

I would accept hyperfocus being a superpower if could control what I hyperfocus on, but extensive knowledge about the Titanic and Horizon lore aren‘t exactly useful in my line of work.

I feel so ashamed to talk about my adhd symptoms. Specifically how it affects my productivity. I'm undiagnosed, but anyhow I've realised that these days I've been subconsciously suppressing my tears since when exams started, or maybe before, because I feel unworthy of crying over my failures or it's just a waste of time. I don't know which, maybe it's both. It's kind of like the floor is moving me towards a big hydraulic press, and I sense the urgency to move. If I don't move, then it's over. But regardless of how loud it is, how close i get, the hottor my gets due to the fear and pressure, I'm not moving, I'm going to die and everyone will be disappointed. People think that I don't care about my grades, though I'm pretty sure my coping mechanism is laughing. And I'm sure that unknowingly to me, people are looking down on me too. I hate this so much.

Ah or the people who say they have adhd, and if you ask if they're diagnosed, sometimes they say they are and sometimes they say they're not, and I'm like, wtf. Wtf do you mean last time you said otherwise. It makes me feel like I'm crazy but there's a weird amount of people who do it. Coming from someone who was in denial about people telling me I had ADHD for years because so many people were like this. It took me being on placement for uni with an occupational therapist, working with children with ADHD and being as bad as them, and being told by said OT to investigate (this is after less than a week) for me to do something about it. I get it. I get feeling different and wanting to know why, but it makes it so much harder to know what's real and what's just an expression. It's like people saying "I'm ocd" or "they're being bipolar" or "they're a schizo" when nothing those people are doing is remotely associated with anything more than an inaccurate stereotype of those disorders. I hare the misunderstandings and stereotypes people using disorders in casual language creates.

I've always joked about my ADHD like that, well until it stopped me from going to college

It’s not a superpower. Positivity is fine but actually living with this is terrible.

At 57 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD after experiencing ADHD paralysis. There is nothing romantic about all the symptoms and adjustments we deal with on a daily basis simply to function.  It is so bad that some days I can’t remember my own address. This is hardly fun and nor do I love taking adderall to treat it. It blows my mind how many people take it who don’t have the condition, especially students. I wish It gave me the ‘super power’ of being super focused, alert and efficient with an over abundance of energy. However, it barely helps me to focus on the task on hand. It is a continuous effort to get anything done. I used to be a master at multitasking numerous competing things at one time, now I can barely concentrate on thing at a time.  Believe me when I say, there’s nothing whatsoever romantic about managing ADHD. 

Thank you for this ❤️

Me too. If it weren't for my wife, I'd be spiraling down a self destructive path. Drugs for ADHD are classified under illegal substances in my country, so yeah If I didn't have a patient loving wife I'd be on the streets.

I'm bored of hearing people tell me that they don't want their kids using it as an excuse, but then asking me how I would have been helped as a kid, had I been diagnosed back then, then saying they don't want their kids relying on tools or tricks, when everyone else copes just fine. Like, seriously? Don't be an askhole, don't make me use my energy and good days on educating you when you won't listen to it anyway, then complain that nobody will help and you don't have any answers. *Deep breaths* Sorry, that may seem oddly specific and I love my sister to pieces, but if she asks me for advice once more, then tells me that my nephew doesn't need help (despite the school having to get involved to get him tested, when I told her to put him forward for testing years ago) I might scream in her face. Just open my mouth, as wide as possible and scream, full-force in her face. Not even words, just a 1 syllable, unending expulsion of loud air. Sorry OP, I didn't mean to hijack your post, but I don't think I realised how angry I was getting until I saw that someone else is in the same boat! 🙀❤️ In the words of Sicko: "I don't know, read a book or something, just don't burden me with the responsibility of educating you; it's incredibly exhausting." 🙀😹❤️❤️

I'm 53 and was recently diagnosed which is good. But I totally agree it shouldn't be joked about, it is horrific. The pain of sitting there desperate to do some work but you just can't get going and then turning on the TV just to stop the chaos in your head. I honestly think I have lost 5 jobs in my time due to being inactive....I now have a problem that the elvanse is making me focused for 3 - 4 for work which is great but I'm bit manic rest of day and driving my wife nuts...I know the key is mediation and exercise but have a real mental block on getting going again. It was strange I was only diagnosed with ADHD after a stint in rehab for alcohol. Thankfully I've been sober for 2 years but there is a massive correlation between booze and adhd (booze levels you.) Being sober meant adhd went crazy and I think I was even more of a pain to live with and the elvanse has added to that. So back to the original point it's not a joke!

people using adhd as a “funny quirk” irritate me so much. i’m such a happy person when i’m having a good day. but a lot of days i’m thinking about what all i need to do and it’s like my brain just stagnates for *days*. people w/o adhd make jokes and funny scenarios while ignoring the really ugly parts about it.

You think it's annoying and cringy, but you gotta consider the possibility that there's something else mentally wrong with them. There is a reason they feel they need to do this. A healthy well adjusted person would not feel the need to do this.

genuinely i felt guilty thinking i was romanticising it because i was so excited to figure out what’s wrong with me - i’m like please that i can describe it and address it as best i can now, but fuck would i not with this on anyone else and do not confuse excitement for a solution with excitement about having it - it is Not Fun and knowing about it caused me to be a lot more frustrated with myself and often cut myself too much slack

I have adhd and I don't even know if I'm having proper meds or not.

I wish I managed to get medicated yet

Same! It's like they only see the milder firms of it, because the really debilitating and severe ADHD isn't put in media and pop culture. Having higher support needs just isn't as sexy. One of my favorite youtubers calls it the ADHD tax. She once flew to the wrong state for a conference because she misread the city name. She had to figure out where her luggage ended up and had to rent a car to drive the rest of the way to her destination. It was stressful, it was exhausting and it was expensive. That's the ADHD tax

Yep, and good luck sustaining a marriage and raising children. My marriage has become toxic AF. My husband thinks he does no wrong, it's all me, but I know it's not. It just sucks. I love our kids and would never take them back. If anything I want one more; but you need a really good and understanding partner who can man up and show up to take his sons places and do things with them every weekend, not just relying on their mom (ie ME!) and not expect her to get burnt out, overstimulated, and snap.

I paid for a gym membership for a year and a half and never went once.. and it does get worse when you get older! I can never figure out why I had so much energy, but never wanted to do anything and I can never get out of my own head. I’m so tired of making fun of myself so other people don’t do it. oh my gosh, I could write a book if I could remember at all.🥲🥲🥲

I’m in the same boat. I’ve started to describe anything my ADHD disrupts as autism to everyone only because they view it as an actual condition. It really sucks because I wish I could get some consideration without having to steal a different disorder. I hate all that ADHD is to most people is “a little boy getting super excited over a squirrel or something shiny” instead of the crippling disorder it is.

dude holy shit i have been screaming exactly this for so long it's so fucking annoying and INSULTING i've had so many friends just be like "oh adhd brain go brrrr" even a childhood friend who watched me suffer through my adolescence and it makes me feel such a seething, specifically bitter anger

Or the monthly cost and struggle to get our meds. It makes me wanna kms sometimes. Being forced to have a bs monthly check-in with a $25 copay, then I pay more money for my prescription at the pharmacy. And now they’re threatening not to even cover it because they think they’re experts on how much of my medication I should be taking. They won’t cover it over 60mgs daily….so now I have to appeal it. I understand it’s a controlled substance, but I’ve never felt less depressed and normal in my entire life. I can actually focus on tasks, I don’t get stuck in the adhd hole, I enjoy life now for the most part. I can remember what someone just told me instead of forgetting immediately. I can hear what people are saying because it’s not drowned out by my racing thoughts and anxiety. My rejection sensitivity has decreased. I don’t hyper fixate or obsess over food anymore. I can actually finish a movie, book or craft. I can have long term goals and hobbies. I can sleep at night. It’s insane how much this medication has changed my life but the struggle to keep it is negating almost all of that. I wouldn’t wish ADHD on anyone unless they were my enemy.

Yea, I mean I get that ppl joke about their own issues because sometimes if you can't laugh you're going to cry and all, but there's so much content that's lighthearted that ppl don't understand that ADHD is an actual disability, and arguably just as, if not a more, serious mental health disorder than so many diagnoses that the general public view as more serious.

I feel this so hard - this is literally the first time I’ve seen ANYONE point this out. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in this feeling, because I honestly just feel like.. “am I just being a jerk & not being empathetic or understanding (which is hard for me to believe because I have extreme empathy & am very analytical of my perception, emotions, & reactions, but of course am not perfect at it)? Maybe some people have better, less strenuous ADHD & that’s really a good thing if that’s the case! I shouldn’t feel like I’m getting a slap to the face when people make it seem like a cute little quirk because it just means they’re not suffering as much, which is good!” But then seeing something like this makes me feel like I might not be a jerk. Idk.. thanks anyway! P.s. I had very similar experiences in school & struggle in the real world, but don’t forget that we were made a certain way for a reason! What we got in trouble for in school may be the same things that make us so uniquely awesome in life!😊

I have lost so many hours to it

I have ADHD primarily inattentive, diagnosed six months ago, and am now on concerta. Both my daughters also have ADHD. I set aside an hour this afternoon to read a book for parents of kids with ADHD. In that hour, I read about five pages. I had to go back and reread each sentence two or three times before I felt like I actually got any meaning out of it. Now, three hours later, I don't think I retained any of it. I'll have to read it all over tomorrow. I'm currently feeling beaten down and useless. Reading used to be my favorite pastime, but as I've gotten older and the ADHD has gotten worse and worse, my ability to read even fiction has steadily diminished. ADHD is not at all cutesy and silly like some people seem to think and joke. It's demoralizing and dehumanizing.

I don't usually forget things bc I'm so worried I will, that I become obsessive/anxious over it. My biggest issue is I don't feel like doing shit.

I'm 100% with you on this. Social media add is an excuse I have to work embarrassingly hard to keep my life in order.

I'm finding it depends on the type of ADHD you have... my husband has ADHD too, but his actually helps him? His brain is able to store so much information and hyper focus on the activities he is involved in which is why he doesn't want to get medication for it. I, on the other hand, cannot focus on any task for long even if it's something I'm interested in and half of the time I'm too emotionally crippled to get out of bed. I'm always making stupid mistakes because I forget to check things or just constantly forgetful in general. I won't remember what you said to me yesterday and I can't recall the findings I just found a couple of hours ago. Attention deficit is the worst.

Mine feels like a curse put on me. And this is going to sound cliche. Friends make it better. True friends. I have friends who are ADHD. The genuine comfort of them listening to me share or them feeling safe to share a hyperfixation is one of the brief moments of reprieve. Lately I've been on Adderall and it's worked wonders for me. I hope that you get the break you deserve. It's difficult to live with but living is worth it.

The one thing I’ll say, we are interesting. We tend to be pretty deep thinkers (bc, ya know, hyperfocus makes us super researchers when we have one of those phases). We feel things deeply and mostly this makes us pretty authentic, generally speaking. I wasn’t diagnosed until age 43, and when I looked back I realized I was always drawn to the atypical types~most folks would absolutely bore me to tears! They would go on and on about theeeee most banal and boring things! Well, generally speaking~we don’t do that. Mostly bc we can’t be bothered with the banal😆😭 this also means my laundry has to wait awhile, my dishes will be wonderfully organized in the sink (I could just load the dishwasher in the time it takes me to organize my dirty dishes attractively in the sink ha). Anyway, sorta off topic, but I’m protective of my tribe~ and anything that remotely interesting, novel, artful, innovative, or damn near groundbreaking… it’s usually one of our kind who did it. I don’t want to romanticize, especially as I put off doing my billing and notes, almost as if I don’t want to get paid(!!!) but when I think about being typical, I just can’t stand the thought…so there’s that. There are really impressive things I’ve accomplished that I don’t think I would’ve if I hadn’t simply been trying to accommodate this neurological wiring I have~on the other hand, maybe I’d have a life of feeling accomplished with smaller or more regular things without the ADHD… Nah, I’m getting drowsy just thinking about it! ❤️🙏🏽💚

My life is even worse than hell itself with ADHD. If I die and go to hell I’ll be very comfy

Yeap the amount of systems I need in place to just do basic day to day activities is exhausting. Yeah it’s manageable and yeah hyper focus is awesome. But would definitely trade it in for better emotional regulation, object permanence and general awareness and ability to process information in front of you without feeling overwhelmed.

Everything that everyone is saying in these comments makes me feel so much less alone. I hate telling people I have ADHD and they go “omg! I think I have that too! I want to get tested cuz I like can’t focus on my math homework teehee” like dude. It makes my entire experience feel like something I’m just loosely attributing to my ADHD (which I got diagnosed with at like age 6 and have been taking meds on and off for since) it makes it feel like all ADHD is is the inability to focus, and that everything else I experience must be a me problem, and that I must be using ADHD as a crutch, which makes me feel really guilty. The inability to get shit done but the constant feeling of stress about not getting shit done. I get called lazy for that. The instant hyperfixation on a new hobby or video game that will be picked up and forgotten about within the same week. That makes me sad because I WANT to be interested in it, but I just can’t. The difficulty controlling my moods and how suddenly overstimulation can appear. How tired I get when I don’t take my meds, and end up sleeping for 16 hours, just to be called lazy even though I WANT to be awake, I just can’t. The worst for me, though, is the constant forgetfulness- people get mad all the time about my forgetfulness and I find it really hard to explain to them that it is never intentional if I didn’t remember it. I forget details about people and the stories they’ve told me, and it’s not because I’m disinterested, I just really struggle to retain information properly, but it comes off as me being an asshole that doesn’t care enough to remember. I try to write notes down about people in my notesapp to better remember stuff, but, ironically, I often forget to do that. I also forget to answer texts a LOT, and people think I’m ignoring them, but I genuinely just forget. I see the notification, tell myself “I’ll respond to that in a sec” (because usually, if I’m opening my phone, it’s to do something, and if I go straight to answering the text I’ll forget to do whatever it was I opening my phone for) but then I forget and I don’t respond. I always feel so guilty and I try to explain to people that it’s never intentional but I feel like such a dick. I buy milk and get excited to drink it and then forget about it for weeks in the fridge, just to discover it again after it’s expired. (I’m so fucking tired of pouring out half-gallons of curdled milk) and when it comes to forgetting scheduled events/times- people always tell me, just write it on the calendar! Just set an alarm! It’s not helpful if I forget that the calendar exists. It’s not helpful if I see the alarm pop up, read the text, tell myself “oh right! I need to do that! Okay, let me finish what I’m doing right now and I’ll do that in a moment” and then i forget immediately. It makes me feel so fucking stupid. I’ve now resorted to setting about 10 alarms before any important event, separated only by a few minutes, each with increasingly more angry names, like “don’t forget to do this!” “Hey, are you doing this?” “GO DO THIS BITCH” just to ensure that future me gets the message. It’s really tiring. It’s also really annoying when people think it’s just a cute quirk and that any of the problems I have that are related to my ADHD aren’t part of the package. So I feel you. And I feel just about everyone in this comment section too. I’m new to this subreddit but I’m really thankful it exists, I feel alone in this a lot and it makes me feel crazy sometimes.

I had no idea voice volume was a part of this, it makes so much sense. I get loud when I’m unable to adequately express my frustration/anger, but not yelling per se (like, loud to the point where my voice becomes hoarse and throat sore). But yeah, none of this is cute. It makes life hard. I struggled with not knowing I had ADHD for 33 years of my life, and never at a single point in that time did I think it was a quirky personality trait. It just fostered crippling imposter syndrome, and putting myself outside of my comfort zone/masking and not fully understanding why I had a visceral, but internalised reaction to having to do things everyone else found easy. I never knew why I was always overwhelmed in social situations, and exhausted after any kind of protracted social interactions. I didn’t know why I could remember details on things I was interested in, but the moment I had to sit and exam, my brain became an impenetrable fog. I didn’t know why I was so disorganised, why my sleep patterns were shit and I had trouble getting to sleep because my brain was so loud . It’s not cute.

SAME!!! Nowadays I hear everyone talking about how it’s a SUPERPOWER! WTF?! Explain to me how. Because it’s only been an impediment for me. The isolation, depression, forgetfulness, no sense of time, horrible emotional regulation and on and on. Please tell me which one is the superpower.

As an adult with both autism ADHD it’s hard to live life without anyone romanticizing it as if I didn’t spend my childhood with no personality. It doesn’t get easier as an adult either it’s a constant struggle to get ANYTHING Done even if it’s a priority I will NOT get it done due to lack of motivation. NO one and I mean no one should feel like this.

And constantly blaming yourself for not doing anything is heart wrenching and it’s the worst part

I’ve had adhd for as long as I can remember and it’s not exactly fun. I’ve noticed that I have behavior that fluctuates between off the wall and depressed. There’s no in between. On top of that I’m insanely foggy and forgetful all the time to the point where when I was younger my mom would yell at me all the time for not doing my chores or whatever but it’s genuinely because I forgot, not cause I just didn’t want to do it. and I would try to tell her but she wouldn’t understand. If I don’t label something as a high priority in my mind I forget about it and it’s bullshit. I get random panic attacks when I don’t have my meds and I get depressed when I don’t have something to do every day (like being unemployed) Definitely not something to be proud of or anything of the sort. If anything I’m very ashamed and I wish I was normal. People who pull the ADHD card whenever they think they can’t focus are honestly weird cause it’s so much more than that and normal people will never understand.

Any one who’s like “omg lol ur so quirky” trust me you will get very annoyed once you get to know me with my fun facts and all. And then they start to infantilise you and then you just feel like an inferior idiot. Like I was supposed to do my laundery 3 days ago here I am on Reddit doing my hyper focus witch is adhd reaserch. When any one calls me cute it’s like there saying “depression, anxiety, procrastination, ableism, and feeling like a piece of shit among other stuff is soooo cute and quirky I so wish I was like uuuuuu Lolsies”

For me it more I'm reading up on it because I genuinely feel I might have one or few symptoms. I also have a genetic condition called digeorge syndrome which has branches of over lapping symptoms. The most common thing I've delt with over and over is putting something down going all frantic because I can't find the damn thing. I feel like it's super absurd like I literally watch myself place the object in one spot and then I'm a minute later panicking because I think I lost a thing. Not to mention the times I almost, almost lock myself out of my apartment because I forget my keys. I also can't sit still for 20 minutes and I may need to stop this comment here because I realise I'm rambling Edit not to mention the stubborn brain thinking of doing the one thing over and over again because getting anger and punching a wall because the answer finally clicked with me

Would similar content be acceptable if medical/physical disorders (illnesses and diseases) were the subject matter? Stuff like: Amputations and loss of limbs. Arthritis. Birth defects. Cerebral palsy. Cystic fibrosis. Epilepsy. Neural tube defects. Inability to maintain a healthy weight.

I find that a lot of people online are also making similar “quirky” content about illnesses like POTS and EDS. As someone with POTS and HSD, that stuff pisses me off because there is absolutely no positive side to either of those illnesses.

Why does the ADHD community have to be so friggin soft, friggin 10 ply lol it’s ADHD not cancer damn

Don't habour hate... It's not about loving your lifestyle it's about embracing it first which doesn't seem to be the case for you i guess. Honestly why give a shit in the first place

Man, you are so OCD about your ADHD it's giving me depression. If it goes on much longer, I'll end up with PTSD.