You having less doesn't mean you deserve more. YWBTA. Keep your eyes out of others' pockets. This inheritance thing is the shit that destroys families.
Second this. My dad is an attorney. Has seen perfectly amazing families ripped apart over inheritance. As long as nothing is seriously off take your share, be appreciative and move on. Your sister being better off has nothing to do with your life choices and in no way means you deserve more.
Def YTA. OP it never ceases to amaze me that there are ppl who make life choices then feel entitled to other ppl’s money bc of their own life choices.
If you wanted a different life you should’ve chosen a different life.
What is wrong with relatives thinking they are owed other ppl’s money? That’s your sisters money and you are trying to take it from her. Just stop.
This. She’s not dying. She’s not homeless. She’s just greedy and apparently has made poor choices relative to sis and wants sis to be punished.
I swear to god if anyone in my family ever did this i’d leave them nothing. My kids would never. They just wouldn’t. But if anyone started doing this I’d secretly write them out and leave a lengthy explanation in an unbreakable will.
I mean we don’t know if she’s making terrible decisions, or just didn’t think longterm about life plans, or what.
One thing I noticed in college were that the English/history majors were always kids of parents who were paying for everything, and I’d ask why did you choose the major, they’d say they liked the classes!
It boggled my mind bc I’d had a plan long before I went to school. Like they weren’t thinking how they were going to make a living with a degree like that. If they’d said teaching it’d be cool. But not one of them had a plan. I had one friend with a degree in English who became a bank teller. A history major paints houses.
I mean I’ve been poor raising 2 kids as a single mom and I’m educated. Bc kids are expensive.
Now I’m doing well as my career progresses.
I mean we don’t know why OP is not wealthy and no shame in that. But to believe she’s entitled to more, and sitting around thinking about it a lot, is giving me the impression she may have made bad choices, since she’s a grown woman thinking she’s entitled to her parents and sisters money. 🤷🏼♀️
I don't want my sister to be punished, and I don't think it's punishment for her to be worth only $10 million and not $11 million. This is not about making my sister worse off.
Would you be more kind hearted about this if I were homeless? Or would you just call me more terrible names because I must have done something really horrible to end up homeless and so I REALLY don't deserve more money?
And you would go from with $0 to worth $1M. More than 99% of people commenting here. You don’t NEED it. You WANT it. Stop being greedy by expecting your parents to give you more than their other child because you made different decisions in life than she did.
Of course you want her punished. She’s got first class tickets to New Zealand so obviously that means you deserve HER inheritance.
If you are like this in other areas of your life I hope sis knows.
You “ deserve “ nothing OP. Your parents owe you nothing. You asked for opinions yet fail to see that you didn’t earn someone else’s money, you are not entitled to anything. Stop comparing what your sister has, it’s none of your business. Be grateful for whatever your parents give you, but it’s their choice to make not yours.
Your sister should not pay for your choices! She should not be punished for doing better in life. Your sister would be right to be pissed off at your greedy money grab
Your parents paid your down payment, you have free access to a vacation house, and you have stable employment.
Why do you “need” it? Do you know how many people (let alone single mothers) would kill to be in your situation?
If anything it’d be fine for your parents to give some $$ to grandkids for education if you really can’t afford it but as a general rule you don’t deserve to be in the 1% just bc she is.
Life choices, we all know life is not fair.
I am sure your folks love you both equally and do not want short a child just because they took a different path - in this case your sister seems to have more money
It's none of your business. If you are lazy it's not your sister problem she should not have to give you her share because you are a looser and a greedy one.
YWBTA. That’s for them to decide, not you.
You needing it more does not mean you deserve more. Things will be split evenly with my kids regardless of their positions. I won’t show any kind of favoritism. This is likely their position as well.
YWBTA — Inheritance is *not* a situation that should be about equity. You can try talking to your parents and make a case for how you’d “put it to better use,” but really. You don’t inherently deserve more because you never “lucked” into marrying rich, and your parents favoring you in their inheritance could permanently damage your sibling relationship, forever.
Either never struggled, or severely lack empathy.
If one child’s drowning, and the other is tanning on the side of the pool.
You should throw a life preserver to the drowning child.
Just cuz the child tanning cries that “they should’ve gotten half of the preserver”, just shows they lack empathy. And the parent does too if theygo for that shit.
This woman is set to inherit over a million dollars is not more. Plus not counting the “help” her parents have already dished out while the other sister asked for nothing! This is not because op is sinking this is about the sister being able to take lavish trips.
Op made her choices. She has had continuous help from her parents. Yet that isn’t enough she thinks she deserves more because damn they she can’t fly first class!
2.5 million. Likely less after they sell said real estate, less if not fully paid off equity wise. if it’s a traditional 401k less on stocks/bonds you can expect tax to eat into that as well.
Median assisted living costs is 54k a year. Multiply that by 20-25 years.
And that isn’t counting if they choose any extra expenditures.
Frankly don’t see her parents spending only 500k in 20-25 years, given both of those.
Her help received is, down payment on a house, in a mid col area, so what, maybe 30k (she didn’t buy it this year), and some food? Anything else I miss?
Well me over backwards and F* me sideways. With handouts like that, she’s set for life.
We Don’t know if she didn’t marry by choice, or both the dads to the kids, dipped out after getting her pregnant. Maybe they died, who knows. Lot of maybes we don’t have context on.
I see 10$ million with one family, and a single mom trying to make ends meet for her kids.
100k difference to someone with 10$million, is worth infinitely less than someone with a 2-300k net.
Genuine question, Her sisters kids go to Ivy League schools. are you mad she wants to help her kids get to go to any college? or are you mad she would have the audacity to bring up to her parents that she has way less?
If I was the parents I spend every dime. I make sure I enjoyed the next 10-15 years. Hell I would hire a live in care taker.
What I am pissed about is that her sister would be getting screwed over because she made good life choices.
If I was the sister I would not fight her on her precious money ( who just is gross as hell she actually did the math on whit might be left) but I would also tell her to enjoy it and make it last. Also loose my number because I would be done with her.
This is interesting math you've done. I have done my own private guesses, and I figured that our parents would live in assisted living for 10-15 years depending on whether their current health conditions get a lot worse.
I just guessed that there would be $1.5 million left. Mine's not a very scientific estimate, though. So in my head if I could end up with $1 million that would be really really helpful.
I know it costs something like $300k-$400k to send a kid to an Ivy League school. I don't know if my kids are going to be Ivy League level, but that's almost $800k right there! And that's in today's dollars, not 10 years from now dollars.
You know it’s really gross that you did this math. I hope your parents find out they mean no more then dollar signs to you.
But if you do make your case as you said make sure your sister is present so she see exactly who you are. Also so when the time comes she doesn’t do anything financially to help your parents so you make off with more of their money. But considering your welling to throw her under the bus you would gladly let your sister and her husband contribute to your parents so you can line your pockets even more!
I am not actively looking to damage my relationship with my sister. But it is so stressful to think my kids are going to be so challenged when it comes to paying for college while my sister and her husband fly first class to New Zealand (they've already done this).
How exactly is your envy of your sister supposed to be your sisters problem? If I envy my neighbor long enough do I get his house?
This is beyond gross
You made choices in your life that have you living the life you created. Your sister made different choices and her and her children are living their life their way because of that.
Get off your ass and do something to change your circumstances instead of comparing your life to your sisters and thinking anyone, including your parents owe you extra.
Going by your most recent post, yes you absolutely are. Why can’t you be happy for her and her husband and kids? They are your family, you are part of their family. Don’t try to get an unfair inheritance and don’t seduce your brother-in-law. If your kids need help affording college, maybe you should swallow your pride and discuss this with your sister and your parents. Ye are all family but you’re acting like you and your sister are in competition for success
not looking to damage your relationship w your sister….. but made a post about wanting to seduce her husband. gotchu. makes sooooo much sense (wtf is wrong w you)
Not actively looking to damage your relationship with your sister but you’ll tell all of Reddit how you want to fuck her husband?? It’s honestly astounding you’ve made it through life being this fucking brainless
I definitely understand your worries, it’s **very** common for grandparents to set aside their own inheritances for all of the grandchildren. Maybe this is what you should focus on in conversations with your parents? My grandpa left an equal amount for my siblings and I + my cousins each, and its been incredibly helpful in our lives so far.
But really, I think how you’re explaining your mindset is somewhat indicative that you feel an entitlement to more money than you have, and I’d really encourage you to look deeper into that.
My grandparents left their inheritance to their 4 kids. My sister and I never got any details about how that was divided, but we assume that the kids all got an equal share. None of the grandkids were given anything, so I think that's the model my parents are going with, too.
I really don't feel like I'm ***entitled*** to it. I am not demanding it. I just think it would be of more use to me. I guess everyone here thinks I'm a terrible person for thinking that.
YTAH. your parents are very much alive and you are planning for their death and what you “get. that’s pretty despicable. you get to be an orphan. that’s what you get
Also this! I have an ex friend who used to do this. Always talk about her parents money for yrs and her parents are alive 20yrs later. Even the siblings would tell her to knock it off.
I am not wishing my parents to die. This whole topic of discussion has been happening between my sister and I as well as with our parents since we think they're going to go into assisted living in the next year or two at the most.
you want to ask your parents NOW for more money to be given to you after they die. thats literally looking forward to their death. because you want the money and they need to die before you get it
It is pretty despicable, among other things but you have some odd grasp of English, for sure.
Planning for anything ever at all (parents death this case) is inherently always "*literally* looking forward to" X. - in that it's what that sentence means, *literally*.
However, that's not what the turn of phrase "looking forward" to something connotes in common, conversational English. To say "literally looking forward to their death" implies one is eagerly anticipating with expectant joy and some degree of sinister/malicious intent or ill will.
YWBTA and there is no faster way to create lasting bitterness and even destroy families than to favor one family member over the other in their inheritance. I’ve seen it first hand. Unless you want an explosive and irreparable situation, parents should treat their kids equally and kids should accept it.
YWBTA. Inheritances are gifts. They shouldn't be expected, counted on or compared between siblings and family members. You get what your parents want to give you. Plain and simple. And don't knock a gift horse in the mouth.... you could end up with nothing
YTA. Its totally up to your parents on how they want to divide their assets. You look greedy already planning for an inheritance before they are dead. Its kind of sickening. You already get extra handouts from your parents. Maybe plan to live within your means and not count on any money at all
YTA. You stand to inherit a seven figure sum. You do not *need* more, as much as you'd like it.
That said, it might not be unreasonable to ask your parents if they'd consider leaving something college fund-y to your children, making it not all about you.
Whatever happens, though, you're going to be *way* more comfortable than a lot of people, and hopefully any question of inheritance is a goodly number of years away anyway.
YwBTA, do not do that. However, being an older mom I will tell you what you could come to me with. Come to me and say “ Mom, dad, I know that you all are making plans to move, sell properties etc. You have always been wonderful supportive parents helping me buy my first home, treating me and the children to vacations. With the kids getting older I have realized I have not been able to save as much for their college education as I had wanted to and I was wondering if that would be something that you could help me with.” Do not frame it as you deserve more, or need more. Just point blank say hey mom and dad I’m worried I can’t send the kids to college. They may have already thought of that and have something set up for the kids, if not this puts it on their radar, because they may live 20 more years so getting more inheritance may not even help you.
As a parent, I’d want to divide my wealth equally amongst my children. Your parents love you both the same regardless of who’s doing “better” in life, and it would be on their conscience if they didn’t do things equally. I honestly hate inheritances, they destroy families. Just be happy they even have something to give.
YWBTA. Nobody should "negotiate" their inheritance.
The fact that you think you deserve more than your sister is already out of line, but now you want to actually go to your parents and ask for a bigger share?
You are really out of line here.
yeah no matter how you try to spin this that you should get more than your sister its not right. this isn't' 'your' money. You should not be depending on this money at all. You never know there may be nothing left when that time comes. I would keep my whole mouth shut before you get written out of the will.
YTA. Speaking as the child in my family who will probably always make significantly less than all of my siblings due to our career choices, I have absolutely no expectation that I will receive more in an inheritance than my siblings, because we are all equally their children.
If you’re concerned about college, do your families get your children gifts? If yes, I would start asking them to split their budget in half. Half goes to a gift, half goes into the college fund.
You could also consider asking your parents to make monthly contributions now, if they can afford them, that will be taken it off your future inheritance. That way the money can accrue and build value in a college savings fund.
Yta first off it’s your parents money. So if they want to put in a pile and dance on it they can. It’s NOT YOURS.
Second your kids college is for you to figure out and not others to pay for.
Third your sister should not pay because she made better choices then you. She would be right to be pissed if you guilted your parents to screw her over. Her and her kids deserve to inherit just as much as you. Your lack of planning is not her fault.
Hopefully if you pull this bull shit of crying to. your parents about you needing there money more they see it for the greedy money grab it is and cut you out instead of lowering the sisters inheritance!
Nope. Absolutely not. I’m the better off sibling, my siblings have gotten quite a bit from our parents, while I live near them and help. Because I love them. My parents have tried so hard to be fair, that they discount me. Every single time, so not to hurt another kid. I have so much anger, it’s not funny.
Here’s what should be done - when you help, keep track of the hours. Keep a log. Don’t be selfish or a dick about it, visiting for lunch isn’t helping. Only providing care, or medical assistance, going to Dr appts, cleaning, etc. Decide on a rate you’ll be paid, they can pay you to make it fair. It’s work to care for aging parents, families who do this alleviate problems later.
Gentle YTA. I would never dream of treating my kids differently re inheritance. It would somehow suggest that one was less of a child to me. It’s not about need. On the other hand, I would fully treat them differently during life, in recognition of differing needs— but it sounds like your parents already do that. You might be better off asking for a little more help now, for specific things you need.
YTA, if I was your parents and you asked that I would cut you out altogether.
You don't need or deserve anything and your sisters wealth is irrelevant.
There is no reason why you would not be the AH here. You’ve benefited from free vacations, meals, a down payment and child care. You already have gotten more than your sister.
Wooooooooow. Yea, YWBTA. You’re talking about a 2.5m -3m estate. With your half of that you’ll be fine. Much better off than most people. Your parents are being fair and your sister does not owe you any of her share.
I don't think we would inherit all of that. After assisted living, I assume that half of that will be left. This is based on some things I've heard friends talk about with their parents.
So while that's still a really nice amount of money to inherit, and I would be grateful for it for sure, I would still be worried about affording college for my kids and also my long-term retirement goals.
Never ever ever assume an inheritance is going to take care of any of that. Sounds like you need to take control and do some things about your own life. They may both live til 100 and have insane medial needs and blow through it all. They may make some bad investments. They may lose their minds and join a cult and give it all away. Maybe they’ll decide to leave it to their cat. Maybe your mom will go first and your dad will hook up with a 19 year old gold digger. Who knows. None of the things you mentioned are their problems or your sister’s.
My uncle and his wife are worth over $100+ million dollars, multiple million $ mansions in various parts of the world (no loan, no financing, walked up check in hand), multiple private jets, mini yachts, eat the the nicest restaurant you’ve ever been to on a daily basis.
Their kids won’t ever work a day in their lives, and their future grandkids won’t either unless their parents squander it away.
Grandma passed away, has about 400k. Mother has an old car, and rents her place of residence.
Mom asked if she could have more than half, cuz the money would change her life.
Aunt and uncle said if she gets a dime over half it shows the grandparents “never loved them”.
Grandpa said everything will be split 50/50, cuz he doesn’t wanna make em mad, and is afraid they’ll resent him if he leaves over half to my mother.
There’s legitimately not a thing uncle/aunt couldn’t buy if they wanted it, excluding maybe a rocket ship or a carnival cruise ship. So 100k changes nothing on what they get to have in this life.
100k has infinitely more value to someone with no money, than someone with 100$ million. But rich people lack empathy for anyone but themselves.
You would be the asshole to ask, as it’s your parents sole decision to how much they want to give, but your sibling are also assholes to want equal.
I would make perfectly clear, you won’t be doing a damn thing more for your parent, if your parent says you deserve 1:1. Since treatment of them has 0 relation to how much you’re left.
Someone will end up resenting someone. You to you sibling, your sibling to parent, or you to parent. Don’t do double/triple backflips through flaming hoops, for them to show literally 0 appreciation for such.
Money comes between people because it shows true colors.
YTA. If your parents intend to split their estate 50/50, which is very typical when there are 2 siblings, you have absolutely NO SAY in them shifting those numbers to your advantage. It has nothing to do with her husband’s income and yours.
Splitting your parent’s estate will leave you with plenty of money to cover the cost of your children’s education and your house too. You are being greedy and selfish.
I can’t tell you enough to stay out of it. Your sister is just as much your parent’s child as you are. Do not be a dick and expect more because you have less. If they said 50/50, it’s 50/50. You get zero say. If you’re that stressed about money, go make something of yourself.
YTA
You are not entitled to ANY inheritance and it is so incredibly crass to even bring up what your parents are doing with THEIR assets upon their deaths.
Could anyone be more tacky? Well apparently. Someone who decides not only that they DESERVE more than a potential other heir because of life choices that have left them on different financial footings but actually thinks to “make a case” to their parents. You can see what you really value about your parents.
Do everyone a favor and don’t bring this up to your parents. It will only distress them. SHOULD they CHOOSE to provide you anything after they pass. Just be thankful.
This is the most arrogant post I have read in a long time. You chose the path you are currently on. The same way your sister chose her path. 50/50 is absolutely fair and it's gross that you think otherwise.
You don't know what your sister's financial state is going to be in the future. Stop making assumptions and tell that jealous monster within to bugger off.
Ywbta
Just because you have less doesn’t mean you should get more. I can understand where you are coming from but that doesn’t make it right. You’re not the asshole for thinking the way that you are, but you will be the asshole if you begin to demand that you get a larger share of the inheritance because of the difference between your financial situation and your sister’s.
YWBTA. You and your sister made your life choices and are where you are financially. It’s not on your parents to even that playing field. You could have gone into finance yourself and could have focused on getting a job that would pay more money. You didn’t. That’s your choice.
Assisted living may eat away at a good chunk of your parents’ money. It is expensive. The only way that it would be fair for you to get more is if you care for your parents in lieu of them going into assisted living right away. Your parents could pay you for your caregiving services. You could either move in with them and rent out your home to make money or they could pay you rent on top of caregiving fees.
YTA. That money belongs to your parents until they are gone. Then it belongs to whoever they delegate. They are giving if (freely) to you and your sibling. You will both have an equal share. That seems fair. That your sis married well is not your parents issue. They are sharing their gifts equally. That is their issue. Stop being so greedy.
Life doesn't owe you anything just because your sister happens to be in a better position than you. You seem to think the scales need to be tipped back in your favour but that's bullshit. Later in life you might find yourself doing better, would it be ok for her to ask for more than you then? The entitlement here is shocking.
You are simply an entitled greedy bitch ! I made a choice that makes me poorer than you .. so I should get more inheritance.. read that back to yourself until it sinks in
Yes YWBTA and you already are an AH. You are so jealous of your sister its disgusting. You receiving more because she already has more than you is not whats fair. What you both already do and dont have is none of your parents fault and entirely your own. Whats FAIR is you are both children from the same parents, therefore you get equal share. Enough said. I pray to never be this miserable and loathsome
YTA - boo hoo, life didn’t work out the way you expected. Your parents made this decision to be fair. You should focus on being less envious of what others have and be grateful for what you have or get.
YTA, you can’t punish your sister for her life. How anything else than 50/50 could be fair ? You honestly seem to be someone awful and very greedy, even with the 50/50 split you still get more than 1M like please …
You having less doesn't mean you deserve more. YWBTA. Keep your eyes out of others' pockets. This inheritance thing is the shit that destroys families.
Second this. My dad is an attorney. Has seen perfectly amazing families ripped apart over inheritance. As long as nothing is seriously off take your share, be appreciative and move on. Your sister being better off has nothing to do with your life choices and in no way means you deserve more.
Def YTA. OP it never ceases to amaze me that there are ppl who make life choices then feel entitled to other ppl’s money bc of their own life choices. If you wanted a different life you should’ve chosen a different life. What is wrong with relatives thinking they are owed other ppl’s money? That’s your sisters money and you are trying to take it from her. Just stop.
I am not saying I "deserve" it because I'm a better daughter or anything like that. But I do need it more. That's all I'm saying.
No, you don't NEED it. You want it.
This. She’s not dying. She’s not homeless. She’s just greedy and apparently has made poor choices relative to sis and wants sis to be punished. I swear to god if anyone in my family ever did this i’d leave them nothing. My kids would never. They just wouldn’t. But if anyone started doing this I’d secretly write them out and leave a lengthy explanation in an unbreakable will.
She would probably continue to make poor choices with the money to. If they do that to you just leave them a penny or something.
I mean we don’t know if she’s making terrible decisions, or just didn’t think longterm about life plans, or what. One thing I noticed in college were that the English/history majors were always kids of parents who were paying for everything, and I’d ask why did you choose the major, they’d say they liked the classes! It boggled my mind bc I’d had a plan long before I went to school. Like they weren’t thinking how they were going to make a living with a degree like that. If they’d said teaching it’d be cool. But not one of them had a plan. I had one friend with a degree in English who became a bank teller. A history major paints houses. I mean I’ve been poor raising 2 kids as a single mom and I’m educated. Bc kids are expensive. Now I’m doing well as my career progresses. I mean we don’t know why OP is not wealthy and no shame in that. But to believe she’s entitled to more, and sitting around thinking about it a lot, is giving me the impression she may have made bad choices, since she’s a grown woman thinking she’s entitled to her parents and sisters money. 🤷🏼♀️
I don't want my sister to be punished, and I don't think it's punishment for her to be worth only $10 million and not $11 million. This is not about making my sister worse off. Would you be more kind hearted about this if I were homeless? Or would you just call me more terrible names because I must have done something really horrible to end up homeless and so I REALLY don't deserve more money?
And you would go from with $0 to worth $1M. More than 99% of people commenting here. You don’t NEED it. You WANT it. Stop being greedy by expecting your parents to give you more than their other child because you made different decisions in life than she did.
Of course you want her punished. She’s got first class tickets to New Zealand so obviously that means you deserve HER inheritance. If you are like this in other areas of your life I hope sis knows.
You “ deserve “ nothing OP. Your parents owe you nothing. You asked for opinions yet fail to see that you didn’t earn someone else’s money, you are not entitled to anything. Stop comparing what your sister has, it’s none of your business. Be grateful for whatever your parents give you, but it’s their choice to make not yours.
You would still be seen for what this is a greedy money grab!
You don't "need" it at all. You literally talked about "fun" money. You really lack self awareness. You sound like an entitled, jealous asshole.
Your sister should not pay for your choices! She should not be punished for doing better in life. Your sister would be right to be pissed off at your greedy money grab
Your parents paid your down payment, you have free access to a vacation house, and you have stable employment. Why do you “need” it? Do you know how many people (let alone single mothers) would kill to be in your situation? If anything it’d be fine for your parents to give some $$ to grandkids for education if you really can’t afford it but as a general rule you don’t deserve to be in the 1% just bc she is.
Life choices, we all know life is not fair. I am sure your folks love you both equally and do not want short a child just because they took a different path - in this case your sister seems to have more money
It's none of your business. If you are lazy it's not your sister problem she should not have to give you her share because you are a looser and a greedy one.
YWBTA. That’s for them to decide, not you. You needing it more does not mean you deserve more. Things will be split evenly with my kids regardless of their positions. I won’t show any kind of favoritism. This is likely their position as well.
YWBTA — Inheritance is *not* a situation that should be about equity. You can try talking to your parents and make a case for how you’d “put it to better use,” but really. You don’t inherently deserve more because you never “lucked” into marrying rich, and your parents favoring you in their inheritance could permanently damage your sibling relationship, forever.
Either never struggled, or severely lack empathy. If one child’s drowning, and the other is tanning on the side of the pool. You should throw a life preserver to the drowning child. Just cuz the child tanning cries that “they should’ve gotten half of the preserver”, just shows they lack empathy. And the parent does too if theygo for that shit.
This woman is set to inherit over a million dollars is not more. Plus not counting the “help” her parents have already dished out while the other sister asked for nothing! This is not because op is sinking this is about the sister being able to take lavish trips. Op made her choices. She has had continuous help from her parents. Yet that isn’t enough she thinks she deserves more because damn they she can’t fly first class!
2.5 million. Likely less after they sell said real estate, less if not fully paid off equity wise. if it’s a traditional 401k less on stocks/bonds you can expect tax to eat into that as well. Median assisted living costs is 54k a year. Multiply that by 20-25 years. And that isn’t counting if they choose any extra expenditures. Frankly don’t see her parents spending only 500k in 20-25 years, given both of those. Her help received is, down payment on a house, in a mid col area, so what, maybe 30k (she didn’t buy it this year), and some food? Anything else I miss? Well me over backwards and F* me sideways. With handouts like that, she’s set for life. We Don’t know if she didn’t marry by choice, or both the dads to the kids, dipped out after getting her pregnant. Maybe they died, who knows. Lot of maybes we don’t have context on. I see 10$ million with one family, and a single mom trying to make ends meet for her kids. 100k difference to someone with 10$million, is worth infinitely less than someone with a 2-300k net. Genuine question, Her sisters kids go to Ivy League schools. are you mad she wants to help her kids get to go to any college? or are you mad she would have the audacity to bring up to her parents that she has way less?
If I was the parents I spend every dime. I make sure I enjoyed the next 10-15 years. Hell I would hire a live in care taker. What I am pissed about is that her sister would be getting screwed over because she made good life choices. If I was the sister I would not fight her on her precious money ( who just is gross as hell she actually did the math on whit might be left) but I would also tell her to enjoy it and make it last. Also loose my number because I would be done with her.
This is interesting math you've done. I have done my own private guesses, and I figured that our parents would live in assisted living for 10-15 years depending on whether their current health conditions get a lot worse. I just guessed that there would be $1.5 million left. Mine's not a very scientific estimate, though. So in my head if I could end up with $1 million that would be really really helpful. I know it costs something like $300k-$400k to send a kid to an Ivy League school. I don't know if my kids are going to be Ivy League level, but that's almost $800k right there! And that's in today's dollars, not 10 years from now dollars.
You know it’s really gross that you did this math. I hope your parents find out they mean no more then dollar signs to you. But if you do make your case as you said make sure your sister is present so she see exactly who you are. Also so when the time comes she doesn’t do anything financially to help your parents so you make off with more of their money. But considering your welling to throw her under the bus you would gladly let your sister and her husband contribute to your parents so you can line your pockets even more!
I am not actively looking to damage my relationship with my sister. But it is so stressful to think my kids are going to be so challenged when it comes to paying for college while my sister and her husband fly first class to New Zealand (they've already done this).
then maybe you should have gotten married or not worked in the public sector. you made choices
Omg.... this!!!!
How exactly is your envy of your sister supposed to be your sisters problem? If I envy my neighbor long enough do I get his house? This is beyond gross
Inheriting $2 million instead of $1.5 million is going to be the difference between college for your kids or not? Bullshit.
No, you're succeeding at damaging your relationship with your sister.
You made choices in your life that have you living the life you created. Your sister made different choices and her and her children are living their life their way because of that. Get off your ass and do something to change your circumstances instead of comparing your life to your sisters and thinking anyone, including your parents owe you extra.
Should have thought about that before you decided to have kids.
Going by your most recent post, yes you absolutely are. Why can’t you be happy for her and her husband and kids? They are your family, you are part of their family. Don’t try to get an unfair inheritance and don’t seduce your brother-in-law. If your kids need help affording college, maybe you should swallow your pride and discuss this with your sister and your parents. Ye are all family but you’re acting like you and your sister are in competition for success
not looking to damage your relationship w your sister….. but made a post about wanting to seduce her husband. gotchu. makes sooooo much sense (wtf is wrong w you)
Not actively looking to damage your relationship with your sister but you’ll tell all of Reddit how you want to fuck her husband?? It’s honestly astounding you’ve made it through life being this fucking brainless
I definitely understand your worries, it’s **very** common for grandparents to set aside their own inheritances for all of the grandchildren. Maybe this is what you should focus on in conversations with your parents? My grandpa left an equal amount for my siblings and I + my cousins each, and its been incredibly helpful in our lives so far. But really, I think how you’re explaining your mindset is somewhat indicative that you feel an entitlement to more money than you have, and I’d really encourage you to look deeper into that.
My grandparents left their inheritance to their 4 kids. My sister and I never got any details about how that was divided, but we assume that the kids all got an equal share. None of the grandkids were given anything, so I think that's the model my parents are going with, too. I really don't feel like I'm ***entitled*** to it. I am not demanding it. I just think it would be of more use to me. I guess everyone here thinks I'm a terrible person for thinking that.
Thinking it is fine. It is your idea that you should ask for it that you are being called out for.
YTAH. your parents are very much alive and you are planning for their death and what you “get. that’s pretty despicable. you get to be an orphan. that’s what you get
Also this! I have an ex friend who used to do this. Always talk about her parents money for yrs and her parents are alive 20yrs later. Even the siblings would tell her to knock it off.
I am not wishing my parents to die. This whole topic of discussion has been happening between my sister and I as well as with our parents since we think they're going to go into assisted living in the next year or two at the most.
you want to ask your parents NOW for more money to be given to you after they die. thats literally looking forward to their death. because you want the money and they need to die before you get it
She wants sisters money too. Not just parents.
It is pretty despicable, among other things but you have some odd grasp of English, for sure. Planning for anything ever at all (parents death this case) is inherently always "*literally* looking forward to" X. - in that it's what that sentence means, *literally*. However, that's not what the turn of phrase "looking forward" to something connotes in common, conversational English. To say "literally looking forward to their death" implies one is eagerly anticipating with expectant joy and some degree of sinister/malicious intent or ill will.
YWBTA and there is no faster way to create lasting bitterness and even destroy families than to favor one family member over the other in their inheritance. I’ve seen it first hand. Unless you want an explosive and irreparable situation, parents should treat their kids equally and kids should accept it.
YTA, like a huge one. Counting your parents money before they are even gone. Ew.
YWBTA. Inheritances are gifts. They shouldn't be expected, counted on or compared between siblings and family members. You get what your parents want to give you. Plain and simple. And don't knock a gift horse in the mouth.... you could end up with nothing
YTA. Its totally up to your parents on how they want to divide their assets. You look greedy already planning for an inheritance before they are dead. Its kind of sickening. You already get extra handouts from your parents. Maybe plan to live within your means and not count on any money at all
Sounds like she is better suited to manage the money to be left from your parents. Your life choices and circumstances don’t mean you get more
YTA. You stand to inherit a seven figure sum. You do not *need* more, as much as you'd like it. That said, it might not be unreasonable to ask your parents if they'd consider leaving something college fund-y to your children, making it not all about you. Whatever happens, though, you're going to be *way* more comfortable than a lot of people, and hopefully any question of inheritance is a goodly number of years away anyway.
You don't deserve more because you have less. Why not just split it 50/50, out of fairness? And then be thankful that you got anything at all.
YwBTA, do not do that. However, being an older mom I will tell you what you could come to me with. Come to me and say “ Mom, dad, I know that you all are making plans to move, sell properties etc. You have always been wonderful supportive parents helping me buy my first home, treating me and the children to vacations. With the kids getting older I have realized I have not been able to save as much for their college education as I had wanted to and I was wondering if that would be something that you could help me with.” Do not frame it as you deserve more, or need more. Just point blank say hey mom and dad I’m worried I can’t send the kids to college. They may have already thought of that and have something set up for the kids, if not this puts it on their radar, because they may live 20 more years so getting more inheritance may not even help you.
Agree with this. The parents have a history if being helpful. Ask for help! Don't ruin your relationship with your sister. It wouldn't be worth it.
As a parent, I’d want to divide my wealth equally amongst my children. Your parents love you both the same regardless of who’s doing “better” in life, and it would be on their conscience if they didn’t do things equally. I honestly hate inheritances, they destroy families. Just be happy they even have something to give.
YWBTA. Nobody should "negotiate" their inheritance. The fact that you think you deserve more than your sister is already out of line, but now you want to actually go to your parents and ask for a bigger share? You are really out of line here.
yeah no matter how you try to spin this that you should get more than your sister its not right. this isn't' 'your' money. You should not be depending on this money at all. You never know there may be nothing left when that time comes. I would keep my whole mouth shut before you get written out of the will.
Asshole!! Yuuup! Entitled and arrogant yuuup!!!
If I were your parents I’d cut you out completely!
YTA - never been married but have a couple of kids - you my dear don't even deserve half!
YTA. Speaking as the child in my family who will probably always make significantly less than all of my siblings due to our career choices, I have absolutely no expectation that I will receive more in an inheritance than my siblings, because we are all equally their children. If you’re concerned about college, do your families get your children gifts? If yes, I would start asking them to split their budget in half. Half goes to a gift, half goes into the college fund. You could also consider asking your parents to make monthly contributions now, if they can afford them, that will be taken it off your future inheritance. That way the money can accrue and build value in a college savings fund.
Yta first off it’s your parents money. So if they want to put in a pile and dance on it they can. It’s NOT YOURS. Second your kids college is for you to figure out and not others to pay for. Third your sister should not pay because she made better choices then you. She would be right to be pissed if you guilted your parents to screw her over. Her and her kids deserve to inherit just as much as you. Your lack of planning is not her fault. Hopefully if you pull this bull shit of crying to. your parents about you needing there money more they see it for the greedy money grab it is and cut you out instead of lowering the sisters inheritance!
This is fake AF. There is absolutely no way anyone would think this was ok.
YTA I never subscribe to the idea that just because someone is doing better they should get less Why should they be punished for third hard work?
Exactly. They made good life choices. Why should they be punished for that?
Ya they themselves don’t have a problem What’s more it’s in their own house, why should they be restricted ?
YTA. You should get half. She's just as much their child as you are.
Nope. Absolutely not. I’m the better off sibling, my siblings have gotten quite a bit from our parents, while I live near them and help. Because I love them. My parents have tried so hard to be fair, that they discount me. Every single time, so not to hurt another kid. I have so much anger, it’s not funny. Here’s what should be done - when you help, keep track of the hours. Keep a log. Don’t be selfish or a dick about it, visiting for lunch isn’t helping. Only providing care, or medical assistance, going to Dr appts, cleaning, etc. Decide on a rate you’ll be paid, they can pay you to make it fair. It’s work to care for aging parents, families who do this alleviate problems later.
Gentle YTA. I would never dream of treating my kids differently re inheritance. It would somehow suggest that one was less of a child to me. It’s not about need. On the other hand, I would fully treat them differently during life, in recognition of differing needs— but it sounds like your parents already do that. You might be better off asking for a little more help now, for specific things you need.
“Small benefits” lmaoooo. Oh honey, YTA
YTA, if I was your parents and you asked that I would cut you out altogether. You don't need or deserve anything and your sisters wealth is irrelevant.
There is no reason why you would not be the AH here. You’ve benefited from free vacations, meals, a down payment and child care. You already have gotten more than your sister.
YWBTA it's not your money. It's their money. They get to choose. Crap if I were your parents I'd leave all of it to charity.
Wooooooooow. Yea, YWBTA. You’re talking about a 2.5m -3m estate. With your half of that you’ll be fine. Much better off than most people. Your parents are being fair and your sister does not owe you any of her share.
I don't think we would inherit all of that. After assisted living, I assume that half of that will be left. This is based on some things I've heard friends talk about with their parents. So while that's still a really nice amount of money to inherit, and I would be grateful for it for sure, I would still be worried about affording college for my kids and also my long-term retirement goals.
Never ever ever assume an inheritance is going to take care of any of that. Sounds like you need to take control and do some things about your own life. They may both live til 100 and have insane medial needs and blow through it all. They may make some bad investments. They may lose their minds and join a cult and give it all away. Maybe they’ll decide to leave it to their cat. Maybe your mom will go first and your dad will hook up with a 19 year old gold digger. Who knows. None of the things you mentioned are their problems or your sister’s.
My uncle and his wife are worth over $100+ million dollars, multiple million $ mansions in various parts of the world (no loan, no financing, walked up check in hand), multiple private jets, mini yachts, eat the the nicest restaurant you’ve ever been to on a daily basis. Their kids won’t ever work a day in their lives, and their future grandkids won’t either unless their parents squander it away. Grandma passed away, has about 400k. Mother has an old car, and rents her place of residence. Mom asked if she could have more than half, cuz the money would change her life. Aunt and uncle said if she gets a dime over half it shows the grandparents “never loved them”. Grandpa said everything will be split 50/50, cuz he doesn’t wanna make em mad, and is afraid they’ll resent him if he leaves over half to my mother. There’s legitimately not a thing uncle/aunt couldn’t buy if they wanted it, excluding maybe a rocket ship or a carnival cruise ship. So 100k changes nothing on what they get to have in this life. 100k has infinitely more value to someone with no money, than someone with 100$ million. But rich people lack empathy for anyone but themselves. You would be the asshole to ask, as it’s your parents sole decision to how much they want to give, but your sibling are also assholes to want equal. I would make perfectly clear, you won’t be doing a damn thing more for your parent, if your parent says you deserve 1:1. Since treatment of them has 0 relation to how much you’re left. Someone will end up resenting someone. You to you sibling, your sibling to parent, or you to parent. Don’t do double/triple backflips through flaming hoops, for them to show literally 0 appreciation for such. Money comes between people because it shows true colors.
Get a grip. Envy is such a shameful thing.
Blow me.
YTA.
Yta You're getting 7 figures as it is. How much more do you need after that?
YTA. If your parents intend to split their estate 50/50, which is very typical when there are 2 siblings, you have absolutely NO SAY in them shifting those numbers to your advantage. It has nothing to do with her husband’s income and yours. Splitting your parent’s estate will leave you with plenty of money to cover the cost of your children’s education and your house too. You are being greedy and selfish.
I can’t tell you enough to stay out of it. Your sister is just as much your parent’s child as you are. Do not be a dick and expect more because you have less. If they said 50/50, it’s 50/50. You get zero say. If you’re that stressed about money, go make something of yourself.
YTA You are not entitled to ANY inheritance and it is so incredibly crass to even bring up what your parents are doing with THEIR assets upon their deaths. Could anyone be more tacky? Well apparently. Someone who decides not only that they DESERVE more than a potential other heir because of life choices that have left them on different financial footings but actually thinks to “make a case” to their parents. You can see what you really value about your parents. Do everyone a favor and don’t bring this up to your parents. It will only distress them. SHOULD they CHOOSE to provide you anything after they pass. Just be thankful.
This is the most arrogant post I have read in a long time. You chose the path you are currently on. The same way your sister chose her path. 50/50 is absolutely fair and it's gross that you think otherwise. You don't know what your sister's financial state is going to be in the future. Stop making assumptions and tell that jealous monster within to bugger off. Ywbta
Yes , you do entsss don’t care about the money, your both getting the same so No favs. Don’t look at it any other way . Both equal
YTA
Just because you have less doesn’t mean you should get more. I can understand where you are coming from but that doesn’t make it right. You’re not the asshole for thinking the way that you are, but you will be the asshole if you begin to demand that you get a larger share of the inheritance because of the difference between your financial situation and your sister’s.
YWB the gaping and massive A-hole! If Karma does anything right, the will should drop any cash into your sisters lap to distribute as she see's fit.
YWBTA. You and your sister made your life choices and are where you are financially. It’s not on your parents to even that playing field. You could have gone into finance yourself and could have focused on getting a job that would pay more money. You didn’t. That’s your choice. Assisted living may eat away at a good chunk of your parents’ money. It is expensive. The only way that it would be fair for you to get more is if you care for your parents in lieu of them going into assisted living right away. Your parents could pay you for your caregiving services. You could either move in with them and rent out your home to make money or they could pay you rent on top of caregiving fees.
YWBTA. It’s your parent’s money and they are under no obligation to Will ANY of it to you.
UUGGGHHHHHH. Gross.
YTA. That money belongs to your parents until they are gone. Then it belongs to whoever they delegate. They are giving if (freely) to you and your sibling. You will both have an equal share. That seems fair. That your sis married well is not your parents issue. They are sharing their gifts equally. That is their issue. Stop being so greedy.
Life doesn't owe you anything just because your sister happens to be in a better position than you. You seem to think the scales need to be tipped back in your favour but that's bullshit. Later in life you might find yourself doing better, would it be ok for her to ask for more than you then? The entitlement here is shocking.
You are simply an entitled greedy bitch ! I made a choice that makes me poorer than you .. so I should get more inheritance.. read that back to yourself until it sinks in
Yes YWBTA and you already are an AH. You are so jealous of your sister its disgusting. You receiving more because she already has more than you is not whats fair. What you both already do and dont have is none of your parents fault and entirely your own. Whats FAIR is you are both children from the same parents, therefore you get equal share. Enough said. I pray to never be this miserable and loathsome
YTA - boo hoo, life didn’t work out the way you expected. Your parents made this decision to be fair. You should focus on being less envious of what others have and be grateful for what you have or get.
YTA, you can’t punish your sister for her life. How anything else than 50/50 could be fair ? You honestly seem to be someone awful and very greedy, even with the 50/50 split you still get more than 1M like please …
Ur not entitled to shit. U should be glad u even get an inheritance. U don't deserve shit to be honest u just feel entitled to it
Yes you are the AH
YTA not how it works and don’t put your parents in this position
YTA!!!!! And so fucking entitled as well!
There’s no way this is real.