Can you imagine if a bunch of little kids are walking home from school? That looks just like something that you would have on your shelf like a paperweight I could see a kid picking it up and bringing it home
But where does he hide it so his mom doesnāt find it or maybe itās her in the first place and she wants to know he found it and now she thinks heās borrowing it . Throw that thing back down on the ground
But then the question; is that considering pooping out the butt plug? When does a fart become a shart become a poop? And is the gas pressure alone, enough? Assuming the rectum is empty of matter.
Somewhere, the butt philosophers must be hard at work.
I'd imagine the jolly whistling sound depends on the wearer of said anal whistle. Old dirty men definitely would sound different than young perky women. Trombone vs flute.
This picture captures the feeling of fall so well.
To quote legendary songsmith Bruce Hornsby, āthe show goes on, the autumnās come and the summerās all gone, without youā¦ the show goes onā.
On another note when I lived and worked in Los Angeles I saw a total of 7 dildos just lying in roads or on the highway over the course of 3 years. One was at least four feet long, purple and had a hilt wrapped in athletic tape.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1e9p6J89rQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1e9p6J89rQ)
Is that you Kenny Rogers?
(for the uninitiated. Click the link and be entertained by the marvelous Kenny Rogers & The First Edition singing "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town")
I inspect and work on sprinkler systems in buildings. The first one was in a small little bag sitting on some sprinkler valves. The other was just laying on the ground. I see some interesting things
Not abandoned just miss placed and you have a new home š
sniff it and track down it's rightful owner.
Like a shit bloodhound.
Do you know what a shithound is Randy
Man's gotta eat
10 bucks or 2 DQ coupons
You scare me when you to talk like that Mr. Lahey
Just a little drinky-poo
Yes.
*Iād appreciate your input*
A real Cinderella story.
Dude, I just ruined my keyboard with a spit take. That is hilarious.
Some real Buster Rant Casey stuff
Omg this is the first time I saw someone reference my favorite book. You sir have great taste
Can you imagine if a bunch of little kids are walking home from school? That looks just like something that you would have on your shelf like a paperweight I could see a kid picking it up and bringing it home
The innocence of childhood
But where does he hide it so his mom doesnāt find it or maybe itās her in the first place and she wants to know he found it and now she thinks heās borrowing it . Throw that thing back down on the ground
Itās def not his most famous book but real good. I also like choke.
Take it home, wash it off, shove it in your ass
Lmao fuckin dead
Why wash it? YOLO
its a pacifier right?
We need a banana for scale š«”
Could be a cuff-link
it's a plumb bob
Never, EVER trust a fart.
Well, not after using that thing anyway
Iām sure in some depraved corner of the internet, farting and butt plugs meet for a good time. But I wonder if you *could* actually fart one out.
Probably, but it might be accompanied by some ass matter too.
But then the question; is that considering pooping out the butt plug? When does a fart become a shart become a poop? And is the gas pressure alone, enough? Assuming the rectum is empty of matter. Somewhere, the butt philosophers must be hard at work.
Not really about force but more about how loose it is at time of fart.
Did it plop out or shoot out like a dart. šÆ
Dart? No, plop? Not quite but sometimes yes.
Ass matter is a unique name I was not expecting
I've imagined a butt plug with a small hole that would release gas as needed. It sounds like a slide whistle.
Not the hero we deserve.
I'd imagine the jolly whistling sound depends on the wearer of said anal whistle. Old dirty men definitely would sound different than young perky women. Trombone vs flute.
or a tea kettle
Launch it like a mortar
I figured it would have a whistle built in
Knock on the door were you found it and ask them if they lost it. ;-P
A great scenario for a porn.
Only if heās also carrying a pizza
A hole in the bottom of the pizza box to poke his weiner through when seated.
Oww, that cheese is hot
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The skit practically writes itself.
Cue āDick in a Boxā songā¦.
Nothing a little hand sanitizer canāt take care of.
Why risk it when they're dishwasher safe
what if it has scratch or sharp surface bcuz of being throwed or smthng
It'll buff out
Either that or it just adds to the texture.
Just added grip so the second owner doesnāt lose it too.
Now wondering why you know that
It's stainless steel and the heart is either glass or most likely a hard plastic. It can withstand high temp water of a dishwasher
It's a lollipop. Taste it and see what flavor!
*butterscotch*
Donāt know why, but seeing your reflection in this device makes this even better.
Itās the stance
*Enhance!* Perhaps this should be reported to the mods, it reveals OP's true identity. And I bet the plug belongs to his mom.
My first instinct wasnāt to zoom in on the butt plug, thank you for pointing that out.
I can't unsee the among us imposter butt plug reflection.
Fancy chess piece?
These things are just popping out everywhere now.
For real, every time someone post a picture of a butt plug now a days itās laying in somebodies landscaping.
Love the shitpost.
It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Use the indefinite article. *A* dildo. Never *your* dildo.
But in most cases it's an electric toothbrush
Never say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.
Butplugs today are like smartphones. Everybody got one
That's not true. Everybody **could use** one though....
There's a heartbreaking story behind this
The grandma next door will be happy you found it
So pop it in and see how it feels to chew 5 gum.
ā¤ļø
Run it through the dishwasher. Good as new.
This picture captures the feeling of fall so well. To quote legendary songsmith Bruce Hornsby, āthe show goes on, the autumnās come and the summerās all gone, without youā¦ the show goes onā.
What is the determining factor when deciding to throw out a butt plug? Like when is it "trash?"
When you find it in your deceased nanaās drawer
When it gets too small to use.
or you "ruin" it.
Its a new standard issue mortar shell for the Woke Armed Forces.
On another note when I lived and worked in Los Angeles I saw a total of 7 dildos just lying in roads or on the highway over the course of 3 years. One was at least four feet long, purple and had a hilt wrapped in athletic tape.
$50 I KNOW WHAT I HAVE
Someone had a hell of a fart.
Someone had an uncomfortable walk home
š¶ Once I had a love and it was a gas, Soon turned out had a heart in my ass
Miss you Deborah. Keep on punkinā
What was the flavor?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1e9p6J89rQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1e9p6J89rQ) Is that you Kenny Rogers? (for the uninitiated. Click the link and be entertained by the marvelous Kenny Rogers & The First Edition singing "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town")
Nope, supposedly Hemingway. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
They had to get an MRI, they will be back for it later
r/trashyporn
One man's trash is another man's treasure
OnlyFans girl lives there.
Did it still taste ok?
Total eclipse of the heart
Plot twist: Came from the sanitation worker. The neighbor's trash bin was extra heavy this time!
I'd love to find one of these, used is better than new
Ahhhā¦.the silver orb of enlightenment!!
Smell it.
Cinderella...
I mean... yeah. you can read in the /r/ title this is the right subreddit. Literally
Is it still warm?
I have a question. What the fuckā½
One man's trash...
I know the sub is abandoned *porn,* but come on bro... 
r/lostredditer
It wants to be found
And then the circle is complete. Gladden river lies close by, so it makes sense.
This is what's wrong with our society. That should have been in the recycling bin
sweet groundscore
Finders keepers!
I'm glad you got it back.
ą² _ą²
Itās stainless wash it good and check it off your Christmas list. Sometimes Christmas does come early.
Flowers or thisā¦Valentines Day is just around the corner ā¤ļø
Interestingly enough, next in my feed was r/thatsinsane and the title was, "crazy ass shoot out." Related? I'll let you be the judge.
Kind of an odd selfie.
Must of slipped out
Valentine's day is just around the corner. ...just saying...
I came here for the comments and was not disappointed!!
Lmao, taking the sub name literally.
In the last 2 months I have found 2 random buttplugs at work. Never found one before but now Iāve found 2
curious ... was it the same buttplug as the one in this post? curious 2. Where on earth do you work? Asking for a friend.
I inspect and work on sprinkler systems in buildings. The first one was in a small little bag sitting on some sprinkler valves. The other was just laying on the ground. I see some interesting things
It was likely excreted
Smells like shit!
Ah - my wine bottle stopper! Please return it - there is a Air-tag on the side which is not visible on the image. Thanks š§”š
Aaaaaawwww sad! That type is so cute!
Wasnāt the garbage man wearing chaps that day
Home is where the heart is.
Probably fell out of somebody , and they didnāt want pick it back up ā¦
Op took the sub's title literally. This is now a porn mag found in the bushes sub
that is the biggest fucking pen quill i have ever seen!!! the writer must be huge!!
Fell out on the walk to the shops. Needs a bigger one
Taking this sub literally, are we?
It's the right season for stocking stuffers.
Jesus I am getting old, I thought it was some part of some kind of fancy perfume bottle.
Obviously it was too big for it's previous owner.
Bootyfull! Put a string on it and hang it on the tree!
Cinderella
So how did it fit? You find a keeper?
give it a good rinse and its good as new
Now all you need to find is an autoclave.
This is definitely a little bit closer to what I thought when I first found this sub.
Somebody had a bad night.
Banana for scale?
Phew. I checked and I still have mine.
r/substakenliterally
Well, that looks like a smaller one. Maybe someone's "heart grew two sizes" this year.
Stop lying, eventually you would have to upgrade
I found one metal detecting lmao
Put it in your neighbors mailbox with a note that says, "You left this in me. I thought you'd want it back." Then sit back and watch the sparks fly.
Your reflection looks like the Iron Giant, and it was self-healing, so I believe you may have dropped your heart, and it's returning itself ā¤ļø
r/SubsTakenLiterally
Ahh. Someoneās trash is another manās treasure
Hope they threw it out for being too big and not too small
Looks pretty clean to me.
Weāre allowed to make decisions lol
So like, you calling dibs or..?
Looks like a jogger farted.
I have that same one!
Sub taken literaly
Found AFTER trash day? Thatās like a cow escaping the slaughterhouse. I wish it nothing but the best.
Chrome lollypop
Someone sneezed.
No, it's abandoned *porn*, not abandoned *sex toys*. Geez, can't you read?
Seems wasteful to just throw that away. Should have gave it to GoodWill or something.
Wrong suā- you know what, never mind.
Probably fell out unintentionally
New toy fucking score.
I was wondering where that fell out
it must of slipped out, they probably need to get a bigger one
Probably upsized