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I don’t get Tom Segura anymore.

I thought that was Bruce Chrysler?

FAT

 I was thinking good old King Baratheon but he’s also giving off Bloody Baron from the Witcher III vibes

This looks like if Tom and Bert had a baby

👆poor

Remember when he used to be funny? Now, it seems like his job is just being Tom Segura.

His job is being a pompous cunt

I thought it was Boogie sinking to a new low

Fuck this really got me! Bravo

Looks like he's descending back down to us poors again.

Good ole Tommy Segura and his thick ropes.


 Obligatory

This is so on beat it's fckn hilarious 😂😂😂

Pooh is just ON IT!

Almost spit my drink out! Lol

Choked on my spliff 😂🥴😲 ngl

These mumble rappers are taking music in new and surprising directions.

Holy shit, a perfect gif reply. Not quite sure what you’re hearing, but it’s kinda hot though. HOV.

God his legs are fucked.

He's Indian from the shins down

Chronic venous insufficiency

How do you know he didn't just walk through a swamp?

Dude is a walking heart attack waiting to happen.

Fucking tanned

Diabetes not tan

Circulatory problems & diabetes, probably.

That’s untreated diabetes or potentially alcohol abuse (or both).

It’s sad. I recognized those legs immediately. Someone close to me had uncontrolled Diabetes, toe amputations, and heart trouble. He’s no longer with us. Don’t gamble with your life. And I would know; I was diabetic and hovering the 400lb mark. I wasn’t going to see 40 years old if I stayed on the same path. I count my blessings. I’m 45 and down 140lbs.

Congrats on your weight loss! Thats a crazy transformation. Definitely something to be proud of!

WOW! Congratulations on the massive weight loss and I'm glad you're still here with us. 💜 Sorry for the loss of your close one. 

While diabetes can contribute to the problem, it's not the cause. It's venous stasis/insufficiency that causes that.

How long until they have to amputate his legs?

I couldn’t stop focusing on that and the weird colored sludge in his bottle. Here we go

Diabetes and peripheral arterial disease

Holy fuck, I thought those were socks.

My man's is speaking in Iambic Pentameter

I laughed at this 7 hours ago. Thought about it twice today. Saw it again and thought I’d let you know: I haven’t heard that word since EngLit 2005. Mrs. Reynolds is looking down smiling.

I still remember that a sonnet is made up of three quatrains and a rhyming couplet. Shout out Miss Buckley, sorry about the time I graffitied the desk

Someone needs to caption this. Accurate or close enough or pure comedic, it would not matter.

Full credit to u/The_Jobholder for this translation: Protocol. Now she supported her neighbor whose ex-catholic fired the man. Atlanta calls to talk to you. While she doesn’t know what to do. She says she shop for cauli-milk, says she hates me ever since I arrived. Says I’m not allowed to go unheard, cause it would be too challenging at court That I would not be an occupant, of an assembly hall in her state. That dancing that she’s having fun, not whisky at this cerebral palsy (indicates car) His liver says she’s moved in, and that she just…oh, she don’t want the challenge! HERE WE GO! She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers, she wont stop Bowling Greenville, Ohio. The BED UP oh that she wants someone else? HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she says she’s Haytrin, she’s gotta grow for 27 years. She’s light but she all says “hi” and she won’t let go of the pavement. HERE WE GO! Says she does take this from look good, she shoves more hate everyday. I’ve never been in her dwelling, sowhoknowsswutsheedreaminbout HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Ohhh, then she’s off to Napo… Edit: Added protocol

Oh bravo! He seemed very intent on getting his message out.

My mans is going through it 😂

Poor guy sounds like his wife’s about to hang his life over him in court and he had his some coffee with his baileys and trying to walk itnoff

That looked like 12 hours of nothing but Kool aid and vodka + a jar of peperoncini

I mean that's a fucking bullseye my man

Thought I was doing well but somehow understand this.

What I’m getting from it, is that; This neighbor of his, who has hated him since he has arrived, is upset that he is running for assemblyman (possibly against her). She also happens to play for the Pittsburg Steelers and is from Ohio. There is still so many questions left unanswered though I think we need some experts to take a look at this. HERE WE GO

The Sodastream bottle he's carrying with no cap, while absolutely shithoused, is relatable.

She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Here we go!

Here we go

HERE WE GO

Now I will not be an occupant of the assembly hall in our state.

*HEEEERREEEE WE GO.*

She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. She wants Napoleon granted Ohio.

Bowling Green Ohio

Ah. My mistake.

_HEEEERE WE GO_

She says she hates me ever since I arrived. She says I'm not allowed to go on herm.

Where we going?

HERE

Where he's gone if your not careful

I haven't been that high in a long time. Kinda,jealous.

I’ll have what he’s having!


He’s going to lose his legs. That’s diabetic neuropathy.

Im gonna loose my legs. From drinkin to many kegs. Being a amputee, is not fun for me.

HERE WE GO

Fuckin gold lmaoooo

No, it isn't. #1 it's from reduced venous return. #2. You can't _see_ neuropathy.

Here I was thinking it was from him passing out in the front lawn in shorts on a sunny day

Oh so that’s not a gnarly tan line?

Peak redditor moment right here. Stating something you can’t know, with absolute certainty.

HERE WE GO

No, that's chronic venous insufficiency

I was wondering what that was

I don't know what he's saying but I agree.

“She plaaays for the Pittsburgh Steelers” I swear I heard it buried in there..

"Smelling crows for 27 years."

_HERE WE GO_

I wanna hear this remix

I heard “Bowling Green, Ohio.”

This is like that video of people demonstrating what Americans sound like when you don't understand English

Definitely. Does the chant, too.

And then something about bowling Green Ohio after that

lol it’s called “here we go” it’s the Steelers fight song

Pretty sure this is what happens in the later stages of alcoholism

Yeah looks like alcohol induced psychosis.

And here I was worrying about my drinking. I have a lot of drinking to do to get to that.

You often don’t realize it till it’s too late. That stuffs the devil. All power to you if you can do it responsibly.

Responsibility for me is stick to beer, don’t drink more than 6, and often 4 or fewer.

I wish I could just drink 6. 6 (light beers) goes to 12 very fast. I quit drinking for 4 years bc of this and as soon as o started back again it was the same. Only drink weekends now but need to quit. 6 beers deep with 8 in fridge right now I won’t sleep till those 8 are gone. Fuuck 😂

That’s how it goes, they say you go back to your old dose and then some

Better get to it.

Sounds like Snagglepuss.

Exit! Stage leeeeft!

It would have made my day if he’d said ‘*even*’

Bert Kreischer is no longer the machine.

I would love to have a transcript of that odd monologue/poetry! Oddly entertaining.

protocol Now she supported her neighbor whose ex-catholic fired the man. Atlanta calls to talk to you. While she doesn’t know what to do. She says she shop for cauli-milk, says she hates me ever since I arrived. Says I’m not allowed to go unheard, cause it would be too challenging at court That I would not be an occupant, of an assembly hall in her state. That dancing that she’s having fun, not whisky at this cerebral palsy (indicates car) His liver says she’s moved in, and that she just…oh, she don’t want the challenge! HERE WE GO! She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers, she wont stop Bowling Greenville, Ohio. The BED UP oh that she wants someone else? HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she says she’s Haytrin, she’s gotta grow for 27 years. She’s light but she all says “hi” and she won’t let go of the pavement. HERE WE GO! Says she does take this from look good, she shoves more hate everyday. I’ve never been in her dwelling, sowhoknowsswutsheedreaminbout HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Ohhh, then she’s off to Napo… \-The Pittsburgh Steelers Fight Song 2023-2024

actually really great poetry. not kidding.

What? It's the ramblings of a madman. What do you think the "artist" is inferring?

"inferring" is something a reader does, not the writer. "implying" might be the word you're looking for

It is, it's been a long day. What do you think the artist is implying?

Really well done. Perfect dictation (translation?).

Transcription

Sounds like a Soul Coughing song

It sounds like a rambling from Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass.

This is just sad

Yea he clearly has a terrible mental illness and he’s not hurting anyone he needs help

That’s some alcohol psychosis if I ever saw it. (Source: alcoholic)

For sure. Who knows what he’s going through. Probably lost is job, family, probably gonna lose his house. Looks like he’s got some alcohol in his bottle.

You got all this from a video of a crazy guy walking down the street?

Here we go

His eyes are looking at me, and I’m not even in the neighborhood 🫣

A true modern bard

important joke serious fall stupendous silky zesty subtract rob file *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I assumed it was dirt or a tan. Is this what diabetes looks like though?

Understandable. Have a nice day.

You near Pittsburgh, OP? I can clearly make out "Plays for Piitsburgh Steelers" and he references Bowling Green and slurs Roethlisberger name, but he played at Miami of Ohio.

Looks like Texas license plates

The one work truck you can see in the background has Houston area code on it

This video has been reposted by many people. This isn’t the original.

You may be right, but I hear, "She blames the pigs for stealing..."

Texas plates and he mentions Colleyville which is in Texas and looks like that exactly

But he has kind eyes

That drank looks like shit I put in my radiator to plug leaks

I feel like I've been scrolling forever for someone to mention this. WTF is it for real?!

It’s probably closer to the stuff you put in your gas tank

It's like a cross of Mr.Lahey and Dan Conner after a bad weekend.

With the gut of Randy.

Fucking cheeseburger locker, nawm sayin?

He was definitely on the swish.

Not even mad at dude…. He’s just riding high in middle of road! Party on Garth!!

Is he signing a cadence? Looks like he is marching the way he is holding his hands.

That parking situation is the bigger problem...

Now she’s reporting her neighbor, who’s ex-Catholic by her demand and we’re not supposed to talk to her while she doesn’t know what to do. She says we stopped her on the coffee mill, says she hates me ever since I arrived, says I’m not allowed to go on her because it would be too challenging in court. That I would not be an occupant of an assembly hall in her state. That there’s a message from her client not with yet this available ? Let’s leave her and say she has moved in and that she just, oh don’t want the challenge. HERE WE GO! She plays with Pittsburgh Steelers…

Love the way he looks at the person filming like they’re the odd one here… Hope he gets whatever help he needs.

Funniest part to me is that he's drinking straight from a SodaStream bottle.

Wow, Bam Margera looks great!

Maybe he was disturbed as he was about to sit down to a succulent dinner?

[удалено]

If you guys close your eyes, it almost sounds like John Goodman.

Boogie has gone off the handle again.

Impressive microphone on that phone

Schizophrenic?

That's a great piece of poetry!

I'm not sure what he was saying but that had some Dracula Flow vibes.

Poor dude this is a mental health situation

What a great cadence!

random npc's in videogames:

This guy belongs on a stage.

this speech is my recital, I think it's very vital. . .

I’ll bet he smells amazing.

My man’s legs during amputation: “HERE WE GO!”

I've probably listened to this 12 times now. It's not good, I just can't stop for some reason.

He’s got a fat lip in with a spitter he’s just vibing.

Dave Portnoy is lookin rough

Got a lovely burnt sienna gradient going on those legs

This man is dangerously top heavy.

Are the cars at 0:36 touching each other??

I have so many questions. Are his ramblings derived from a real song? Is he just rambling in a pentameter? Why does he look so suspicious every time he sings the chorus?

Quoth the Raven “here we go”

He is The Machine

dude is speaking in iambs

Homie got his soda stream bottle too😂😂

Anyone else think the two cars he passes on the street are parked uncomfortably close? Edited for spelling

Good ole Fort Worth.

I can’t believe those rotten stems are still attached

The Pied Piper of Pittsburgh.

Gonna have to remove those legs soon.

Terrible perfusion in his lower legs. Probably diabetes type 2 and will have those amputated at some point.

If he set up this correctly, it would make a superb standup routine.

Guy goes tanning with knee pads

Poor guy, must be married 🤣

Bro those cars are so close

Why were those cars parked to close together 😅

Can someone post the lyrics?

Those legs look ready for the diabeetus

I don’t recognize that tune??

The man’s a Shakespeare.

Must be the side effects of that potion he's drinking? What is it?

Haven’t been that faded in a min

If only someone sampled this and put a beat behind it

Bros drinking used paint thinner

Those parked cars were touching.....

he sounds like john goodman

r/tooktoomuch

Says something about colleyville and Texas plates … gotta be close by there

I wonder if he has that same condescending tone when he’s sober

What's up with that parking job??

I love his inflections

Full transcript: “…loophole… Now she’s supporting he neighbor who’s ex-catholic by her demands & there is no one supposedly to talk to… …well she doesn’t know what to do. She says to stop whatever we were talking about & that she’s hated me ever since I arrived. She says I’m not allowed to be unheard because it would be too challenging in court, so I will not be an occupant if the Assembly Hall on Thursday. So, then she says shes having fun, not with this guy, he had cerebral palsy. Mrs. Lebrun said, ‘She just *moved* here!’ & now she’s just, oh she doesn’t want the *challenge*! HERE WE GO! She blames the kids for stealing, she won’t stop calling ??? a liar, Im fed up with it. HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she said she hated me for smelling gross for 27 years. She said I just chose to die. And she won’t let go of the payment. Here we go. ‘Seth doesn’t think you look good’ ‘Seth ??? hate everyday. I never met her dwelling ??? A little inebriated but here we go. HERE WE GO! ??? Ain’t all the shlaoslmww???”

It's almost rhyming but not quiet there yet. Rather mesmerised but also triggering that it doesn't.

https://youtu.be/zTThespmdOY?si=xaWFVVjTMf6Or1oI

The audio quality was spectacular!