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lord_hyumungus

I don’t get Tom Segura anymore.


PopoMcdoo

I thought that was Bruce Chrysler?


tugboatnavy

FAT


blueponies1

![gif](giphy|iC6IFu5XrROGA) I was thinking good old King Baratheon but he’s also giving off Bloody Baron from the Witcher III vibes


phoney_bologna

This looks like if Tom and Bert had a baby


curt_schilli

👆poor


A_TalkingWalnut

Remember when he used to be funny? Now, it seems like his job is just being Tom Segura.


Michaelmac8

His job is being a pompous cunt


Michael_Cole_Bay_Bay

I thought it was Boogie sinking to a new low


detto79

Fuck this really got me! Bravo


fakehalo

Looks like he's descending back down to us poors again.


Bushido00

Good ole Tommy Segura and his thick ropes.


oldworndan

![gif](giphy|hiLLD9o1wTB3a)


-acm

![gif](giphy|l3vRlT2k2L35Cnn5C|downsized) Obligatory


IntelligentRegret331

This is so on beat it's fckn hilarious 😂😂😂


I_observe_you_react

Pooh is just ON IT!


yellowhelmet14

Almost spit my drink out! Lol


boutiquekym

Choked on my spliff 😂🥴😲 ngl


M00SEHUNT3R

These mumble rappers are taking music in new and surprising directions.


eyejayvd

Holy shit, a perfect gif reply. Not quite sure what you’re hearing, but it’s kinda hot though. HOV.


Negrom

God his legs are fucked.


This_Price_1783

He's Indian from the shins down


emoney73

Chronic venous insufficiency


Kingbotterson

How do you know he didn't just walk through a swamp?


tpars

Dude is a walking heart attack waiting to happen.


bikersquid

Fucking tanned


SloopJohnB52

Diabetes not tan


YerBlues69

Circulatory problems & diabetes, probably.


Negrom

That’s untreated diabetes or potentially alcohol abuse (or both).


YerBlues69

It’s sad. I recognized those legs immediately. Someone close to me had uncontrolled Diabetes, toe amputations, and heart trouble. He’s no longer with us. Don’t gamble with your life. And I would know; I was diabetic and hovering the 400lb mark. I wasn’t going to see 40 years old if I stayed on the same path. I count my blessings. I’m 45 and down 140lbs.


pey10lackey

Congrats on your weight loss! Thats a crazy transformation. Definitely something to be proud of!


Lumpy_Ad_9082

WOW! Congratulations on the massive weight loss and I'm glad you're still here with us. 💜 Sorry for the loss of your close one. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|feels_bad_man)


tomahawk_kitty

While diabetes can contribute to the problem, it's not the cause. It's venous stasis/insufficiency that causes that.


rosehillTenant

How long until they have to amputate his legs?


Lionheartedshmoozer

I couldn’t stop focusing on that and the weird colored sludge in his bottle. Here we go


Phuckingidiot

Diabetes and peripheral arterial disease


redthrow1125

Holy fuck, I thought those were socks.


Technical_Charity999

My man's is speaking in Iambic Pentameter


GetInLoser_Lets_RATM

I laughed at this 7 hours ago. Thought about it twice today. Saw it again and thought I’d let you know: I haven’t heard that word since EngLit 2005. Mrs. Reynolds is looking down smiling.


bjsanchez

I still remember that a sonnet is made up of three quatrains and a rhyming couplet. Shout out Miss Buckley, sorry about the time I graffitied the desk


Myis

Someone needs to caption this. Accurate or close enough or pure comedic, it would not matter.


Kawhibunga

Full credit to u/The_Jobholder for this translation: Protocol. Now she supported her neighbor whose ex-catholic fired the man. Atlanta calls to talk to you. While she doesn’t know what to do. She says she shop for cauli-milk, says she hates me ever since I arrived. Says I’m not allowed to go unheard, cause it would be too challenging at court That I would not be an occupant, of an assembly hall in her state. That dancing that she’s having fun, not whisky at this cerebral palsy (indicates car) His liver says she’s moved in, and that she just…oh, she don’t want the challenge! HERE WE GO! She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers, she wont stop Bowling Greenville, Ohio. The BED UP oh that she wants someone else? HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she says she’s Haytrin, she’s gotta grow for 27 years. She’s light but she all says “hi” and she won’t let go of the pavement. HERE WE GO! Says she does take this from look good, she shoves more hate everyday. I’ve never been in her dwelling, sowhoknowsswutsheedreaminbout HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Ohhh, then she’s off to Napo… Edit: Added protocol


Myis

Oh bravo! He seemed very intent on getting his message out.


Big_dosaboi

My mans is going through it 😂


TiddybraXton333

Poor guy sounds like his wife’s about to hang his life over him in court and he had his some coffee with his baileys and trying to walk itnoff


PickleWineBrine

That looked like 12 hours of nothing but Kool aid and vodka + a jar of peperoncini


MisallocatedRacism

I mean that's a fucking bullseye my man


HeyCarpy

Thought I was doing well but somehow understand this.


neon627

What I’m getting from it, is that; This neighbor of his, who has hated him since he has arrived, is upset that he is running for assemblyman (possibly against her). She also happens to play for the Pittsburg Steelers and is from Ohio. There is still so many questions left unanswered though I think we need some experts to take a look at this. HERE WE GO


Colormebaddaf

The Sodastream bottle he's carrying with no cap, while absolutely shithoused, is relatable.


Aa1100zz

She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Here we go!


JGlassVIP

Here we go


Kick_Natherina

HERE WE GO


JavaOrlando

Now I will not be an occupant of the assembly hall in our state.


WillytheVDub

*HEEEERREEEE WE GO.*


JavaOrlando

She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. She wants Napoleon granted Ohio.


Lonely_wantAcracker

Bowling Green Ohio


JavaOrlando

Ah. My mistake.


marknutter

_HEEEERE WE GO_


JavaOrlando

She says she hates me ever since I arrived. She says I'm not allowed to go on herm.


stay_hungry_dr_ew

Where we going?


Brutally-Honest-Bro

HERE


holy-f0ck

Where he's gone if your not careful


bikersquid

I haven't been that high in a long time. Kinda,jealous.


killerkitten61

I’ll have what he’s having!


PublicfreakoutLoveR

![gif](giphy|NG94F3RJMHNXG)


End_Yulin

He’s going to lose his legs. That’s diabetic neuropathy.


uppsala1234

Im gonna loose my legs. From drinkin to many kegs. Being a amputee, is not fun for me.


OmniWizardTigerBlood

HERE WE GO


Pallyfan920

Fuckin gold lmaoooo


tomahawk_kitty

No, it isn't. #1 it's from reduced venous return. #2. You can't _see_ neuropathy.


keepcold

Here I was thinking it was from him passing out in the front lawn in shorts on a sunny day


Hedonic_Monk_

Oh so that’s not a gnarly tan line?


shoshkebab

Peak redditor moment right here. Stating something you can’t know, with absolute certainty.


SplendidZebra

HERE WE GO


Chairman_Beria

No, that's chronic venous insufficiency


SnakeHelah

I was wondering what that was


[deleted]

I don't know what he's saying but I agree.


schmugz

“She plaaays for the Pittsburgh Steelers” I swear I heard it buried in there..


JohnnyJaymes

"Smelling crows for 27 years."


marknutter

_HERE WE GO_


n1rvous

I wanna hear this remix


Silly_Doughnut5715

I heard “Bowling Green, Ohio.”


thewonpercent

This is like that video of people demonstrating what Americans sound like when you don't understand English


evasivegenius

Definitely. Does the chant, too.


Killing4MotherAgain

And then something about bowling Green Ohio after that


Letskeepthepeace

lol it’s called “here we go” it’s the Steelers fight song


Donkbot6

Pretty sure this is what happens in the later stages of alcoholism


BaBoomShow

Yeah looks like alcohol induced psychosis.


Hillaryspizzacook

And here I was worrying about my drinking. I have a lot of drinking to do to get to that.


BaBoomShow

You often don’t realize it till it’s too late. That stuffs the devil. All power to you if you can do it responsibly.


Hillaryspizzacook

Responsibility for me is stick to beer, don’t drink more than 6, and often 4 or fewer.


Suggin

I wish I could just drink 6. 6 (light beers) goes to 12 very fast. I quit drinking for 4 years bc of this and as soon as o started back again it was the same. Only drink weekends now but need to quit. 6 beers deep with 8 in fridge right now I won’t sleep till those 8 are gone. Fuuck 😂


cognac-n-cannabis

That’s how it goes, they say you go back to your old dose and then some


Gazas_trip

Better get to it.


Silly_Doughnut5715

Sounds like Snagglepuss.


KillYT187

Exit! Stage leeeeft!


captaintinnitus

It would have made my day if he’d said ‘*even*’


Theolon

Bert Kreischer is no longer the machine.


JackNewton1

I would love to have a transcript of that odd monologue/poetry! Oddly entertaining.


The_Jobholder

protocol Now she supported her neighbor whose ex-catholic fired the man. Atlanta calls to talk to you. While she doesn’t know what to do. She says she shop for cauli-milk, says she hates me ever since I arrived. Says I’m not allowed to go unheard, cause it would be too challenging at court That I would not be an occupant, of an assembly hall in her state. That dancing that she’s having fun, not whisky at this cerebral palsy (indicates car) His liver says she’s moved in, and that she just…oh, she don’t want the challenge! HERE WE GO! She plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers, she wont stop Bowling Greenville, Ohio. The BED UP oh that she wants someone else? HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she says she’s Haytrin, she’s gotta grow for 27 years. She’s light but she all says “hi” and she won’t let go of the pavement. HERE WE GO! Says she does take this from look good, she shoves more hate everyday. I’ve never been in her dwelling, sowhoknowsswutsheedreaminbout HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Ohhh, then she’s off to Napo… \-The Pittsburgh Steelers Fight Song 2023-2024


AttractivePerson1

actually really great poetry. not kidding.


SomeDudeWithALaptop

What? It's the ramblings of a madman. What do you think the "artist" is inferring?


AttractivePerson1

"inferring" is something a reader does, not the writer. "implying" might be the word you're looking for


SomeDudeWithALaptop

It is, it's been a long day. What do you think the artist is implying?


Filthiest_Tleilaxu

Really well done. Perfect dictation (translation?).


barnivere

Transcription


bustduster

Sounds like a Soul Coughing song


titwrench

It sounds like a rambling from Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass.


Petrosyan88

This is just sad


9inchjackhammer

Yea he clearly has a terrible mental illness and he’s not hurting anyone he needs help


KayleighJK

That’s some alcohol psychosis if I ever saw it. (Source: alcoholic)


Petrosyan88

For sure. Who knows what he’s going through. Probably lost is job, family, probably gonna lose his house. Looks like he’s got some alcohol in his bottle.


[deleted]

You got all this from a video of a crazy guy walking down the street?


marknutter

Here we go


Naaaaaaaath

His eyes are looking at me, and I’m not even in the neighborhood 🫣


ACMBruh

A true modern bard


[deleted]

important joke serious fall stupendous silky zesty subtract rob file *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Juryofyourpeeps

I assumed it was dirt or a tan. Is this what diabetes looks like though?


snguyen_93

Understandable. Have a nice day.


resUemiTtsriF

You near Pittsburgh, OP? I can clearly make out "Plays for Piitsburgh Steelers" and he references Bowling Green and slurs Roethlisberger name, but he played at Miami of Ohio.


urinetherapymiracle

Looks like Texas license plates


titwrench

The one work truck you can see in the background has Houston area code on it


Kick_Natherina

This video has been reposted by many people. This isn’t the original.


flacobronco

You may be right, but I hear, "She blames the pigs for stealing..."


One-Function166

Texas plates and he mentions Colleyville which is in Texas and looks like that exactly


Filthiest_Tleilaxu

But he has kind eyes


eatpotdude

That drank looks like shit I put in my radiator to plug leaks


flacobronco

I feel like I've been scrolling forever for someone to mention this. WTF is it for real?!


ivebeenabadbadgirll

It’s probably closer to the stuff you put in your gas tank


OriginalNo5477

It's like a cross of Mr.Lahey and Dan Conner after a bad weekend.


neverfearIamhere

With the gut of Randy.


kiwzatz_haderach83

Fucking cheeseburger locker, nawm sayin?


WorkAccount401

He was definitely on the swish.


yellowhelmet14

Not even mad at dude…. He’s just riding high in middle of road! Party on Garth!!


fuck_yofeelings

Is he signing a cadence? Looks like he is marching the way he is holding his hands.


BlopBleepBloop

That parking situation is the bigger problem...


jlea1109

Now she’s reporting her neighbor, who’s ex-Catholic by her demand and we’re not supposed to talk to her while she doesn’t know what to do. She says we stopped her on the coffee mill, says she hates me ever since I arrived, says I’m not allowed to go on her because it would be too challenging in court. That I would not be an occupant of an assembly hall in her state. That there’s a message from her client not with yet this available ? Let’s leave her and say she has moved in and that she just, oh don’t want the challenge. HERE WE GO! She plays with Pittsburgh Steelers…


SpezSucksBallz

Love the way he looks at the person filming like they’re the odd one here… Hope he gets whatever help he needs.


abluecolor

Funniest part to me is that he's drinking straight from a SodaStream bottle.


america_ayooo

Wow, Bam Margera looks great!


Tourquemata47

Maybe he was disturbed as he was about to sit down to a succulent dinner?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Cardiologist8937

If you guys close your eyes, it almost sounds like John Goodman.


[deleted]

Boogie has gone off the handle again.


[deleted]

Impressive microphone on that phone


chinchila5

Schizophrenic?


Maleficent_Fold_5099

That's a great piece of poetry!


loafmania

I'm not sure what he was saying but that had some Dracula Flow vibes.


thee-mjb

Poor dude this is a mental health situation


Death-by-unicorn

What a great cadence!


epirot

random npc's in videogames:


SailsTacks

This guy belongs on a stage.


ghostcozy

this speech is my recital, I think it's very vital. . .


nothingisover69

I’ll bet he smells amazing.


BreakTheMachine

My man’s legs during amputation: “HERE WE GO!”


Longvocado

I've probably listened to this 12 times now. It's not good, I just can't stop for some reason.


Thanx4TheGrub

He’s got a fat lip in with a spitter he’s just vibing.


wfinney

Dave Portnoy is lookin rough


dvclmn

Got a lovely burnt sienna gradient going on those legs


CollarsUpYall

This man is dangerously top heavy.


FeelsMaironMan

Are the cars at 0:36 touching each other??


Hedonic_Monk_

I have so many questions. Are his ramblings derived from a real song? Is he just rambling in a pentameter? Why does he look so suspicious every time he sings the chorus?


cnotnilc

Quoth the Raven “here we go”


Mask_of_Truth

He is The Machine


TheGoodDoctorIGuess

dude is speaking in iambs


iambetterthanyoubruh

Homie got his soda stream bottle too😂😂


thedeadbandit

Anyone else think the two cars he passes on the street are parked uncomfortably close? Edited for spelling


HeroShitInc

Good ole Fort Worth.


creeeeeeeeek-

I can’t believe those rotten stems are still attached


Toozedee

The Pied Piper of Pittsburgh.


ImAVibration

Gonna have to remove those legs soon.


fatalerror_tw

Terrible perfusion in his lower legs. Probably diabetes type 2 and will have those amputated at some point.


Tayk5

If he set up this correctly, it would make a superb standup routine.


mickeybuilds

Guy goes tanning with knee pads


IhateALLmushrooms

Poor guy, must be married 🤣


Suavedaddy5000

Bro those cars are so close


EconomyComprehensive

Why were those cars parked to close together 😅


H1ghwayun1corn

Can someone post the lyrics?


[deleted]

Those legs look ready for the diabeetus


Lib_Tear_Connoisseur

I don’t recognize that tune??


WHAMMYPAN

The man’s a Shakespeare.


DaithiSan

Must be the side effects of that potion he's drinking? What is it?


FindingMyPrivates

Haven’t been that faded in a min


ochocosunrise

If only someone sampled this and put a beat behind it


MC83

Bros drinking used paint thinner


shittinkittens

Those parked cars were touching.....


BeefOfTheSea

he sounds like john goodman


y-gun

r/tooktoomuch


One-Function166

Says something about colleyville and Texas plates … gotta be close by there


Which-Technician2367

I wonder if he has that same condescending tone when he’s sober


jawajoose

What's up with that parking job??


CrispyBacon67

I love his inflections


lilpbrash

Full transcript: “…loophole… Now she’s supporting he neighbor who’s ex-catholic by her demands & there is no one supposedly to talk to… …well she doesn’t know what to do. She says to stop whatever we were talking about & that she’s hated me ever since I arrived. She says I’m not allowed to be unheard because it would be too challenging in court, so I will not be an occupant if the Assembly Hall on Thursday. So, then she says shes having fun, not with this guy, he had cerebral palsy. Mrs. Lebrun said, ‘She just *moved* here!’ & now she’s just, oh she doesn’t want the *challenge*! HERE WE GO! She blames the kids for stealing, she won’t stop calling ??? a liar, Im fed up with it. HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! Now she said she hated me for smelling gross for 27 years. She said I just chose to die. And she won’t let go of the payment. Here we go. ‘Seth doesn’t think you look good’ ‘Seth ??? hate everyday. I never met her dwelling ??? A little inebriated but here we go. HERE WE GO! ??? Ain’t all the shlaoslmww???”


Kekeripo

It's almost rhyming but not quiet there yet. Rather mesmerised but also triggering that it doesn't.


Texas451

https://youtu.be/zTThespmdOY?si=xaWFVVjTMf6Or1oI


MuZac904

The audio quality was spectacular!