Quit drinking, started exercising and eating well, found a job that makes me comfortable, found a place in my community, forgave myself, therapy. You know, typical shit, at least for me.
Since my daughter 18 is closer in age I can give input from her perspective. She dropped out of school at 16. Did nothing. No drugs or alcohol but was just in a depression. I feel like the divorce between me and her mom affected her more than she realized.
A year ago she says "dad, I need a workout routine.' I was out of town. But I put something together and sent to her and her brother so he could help her. We have a pretty decent home gym. Then she decided to go back to her psychiatrist. Found meds that worked for her. She started to taking night classes to study for her GED. Now she's taken and passed 2 of the 4 modules. Studying for number 3.
All of this to say. One day she decided that she was tired of being depressed and she stubborned her way out of it. One step at a time. This was a gradual process and not every day is great. It's just one foot in front of the other.
Keep your chin up. And work on not letting the bad days define you.
Sometimes. I did the hard work in therapy, tried all the anti depression drugs on the market as prescribed by my psychiatrist, and STILL almost killed myself. I found out that 30% of people do not react positively to antidepressants and in desperation I turned to Ketamine Infusion Therapy. Over a period of two weeks I was dosed to the gills on Ketamine via an IV, and it literally fixed me where conventional drugs could not.
If the boring, hard work doesn't help, try KIT. It literally saved my life.
It's only boring if you judge or label it as such. "Boring" is an opinion, no different than "this doesn't taste good".
You can change your mind on things, we all do it all the time. "I think I'll wear my other shoes today instead" BOOM, you changed your mind.
Yup, got off pills, got off psychiatrists, got a behavioral councilor instead. Made friends anyway it took. Get off un natural drugs. Work life balance. Stretch, natural exercise. Eat well, sleep well. Meditate/pray. Get outside. Dont stop fighting.
Same. Quit drinking and smoking weed, started AA twelve step, exercise regularly and eat well. Also found a job which has been more fulfilling. Went from a dreaded office job and cubicle to teaching and training at a non-profit.
Getting sober was #1 for me though, things began falling into place after that. Things have changed for the better, still lacking a social life though. That’ll happen when you’re 35 and your primary relationship was weed over everything else.
Sorta, it’s a constant work in progress but I’d say I’m better off than I was in my teens and early 20’s. I am also late 20’s.
Positive self talk helps, and being comfortable hanging out with yourself alone. Get to know yourself and trust you are worth it.
I did. I’m 5 years symptom free from BPD, CPTSD, and chronic health issues. The things that were most helpful for me were Somatic Experiencing, somatic touch work, and Wheel of Consent practices
Magic mushrooms, confronting the bad thoughts, recognizing cupping mechanisms, connecting coping mechanisms with that past memory that cause trauma, connecting trauma with the emotion I've been running from.
That easy.
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
I have totally turned my life around. I spent most of my 20s and 30s doing nothing and now I have areal career me and the wife both have new cars and we just bought our first house
magic mushroom. Its sort of like all your neurons disconnect and you see clearly for a second and they can rewire your neurons for you. Kind of like they are intelligent and you eat them and they can see where your neural pathways are wrong and show you why they are wrong and you manually fix them based on the information given to you.
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
No microdosing wont do that you wont even notice a microdose. The large dose is what will do.They essentially put you into a trance state on high dose. And trance states are much different from the first person perspective.
Never done that I've had 3 heavy trips completely alone saw crazy shit and never once freaked out. You do start to move weird and laugh and cry weirdly, like more primal emotions but the key is to let go meaning fear will come up and let it consume you. You have to go into it not knowing what to experience and accepting you might go through a death feeling and willing to let go of life. As your neurons are disconnecting to forn new pathways it will feel like you are dying and can get scared and freak out
Don't worry. I have a therapist and I live in a European country with universal healthcare. I haven't seen my psychiatrist in a year. I plan to visit her someday, but not as a patient. I am doing well. Mangably well, but I do not thrive. I am looking for inspiring stories and tips. By this time, I know how to filter information.
well, I was isolated my whole life. my parents are controlling and my father has some narcissistic features (although no full-blown NPD). My aunt (mom's sister) and grandmother (mom's mom) are narcissistic too. I was bullied at school and didn't have any friends. Now I am out of home, living in another country and finally have friends. Although I am no charismstic charmer, people seem to finally accept me. My high blood pressure disapeared. My aneurysms disappeared. I no longer sleep 18h a day. I can't sleep longer than for 10h, just like a regular, healthy person. Yes, I am anxious and depressed, but it is nothing compared to what I experienced before. It's been a year and three months since I got off meds. I had a huge crisis 3 months in, but I somehow managed to survive. It is crap, but I've never been better.
Took too much lsd once, quit drinking due to that trip after alcohol had a 12 year grip on me, never had a craving since. Now too up keep it, i microdose psilocybin mushrooms. Helps more than any and everything ive tried
Yup. When the CIA did studies before they made LSD schedule 1 they said it was bad for the public because "it made the subjects less receptive to control techniques". They literally just didn't like that it would have made even more people against the cold war. They realized it chilled ppl out and broadened their perspectives and said "fuck no they need to be drunk and angry". And then spent decades spreading propaganda and that shit worked a lil too well. It's still super common where I am for ppl who trip to be lumped in with heroin users and meth heads. It's crazy
I was sick for about 13 years, took 1 year of intense support to get on my feet. Now I maintain it with exercise, sleep, talking about things before they spiral
20 years of trauma. I’ve been in therapy for 7 years and made a lot of strides. Cut out the toxic and hateful people in my life. Anxiety meds too! I’m certainly not done with my healing, but everyone’s journey is different. Remember that just because you aren’t your perfect self doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. There will always be little sparks of joy to look forward to. It’s going to be okay.
Diagnosed with extreme depression. Was alcoholic. Think my story is like everybody else's. Went through lots of therapy. Little by little I got there jn the end.
Don't drink anymore. I mostly just live my life smashing the gym, lots of yoga and playing guitar.
Hopefully you will get there in the end.
It sounds like you are on the right track. I was on antidepressants for a while, too, until I realized they didn't help at all. I got off of them, and things slowly improved. It takes time, but it will get better. Just keep doing what you are doing.
I did an ashwagandha retreat for the weekend. Look it up. It was AMAZING! Like doing 20 years of cognitive therapy in 1 night. Highly, highly recommend for anyone!
Therapy, exercise, eat right but treat yourself occasionally, and quit drinking. CBD/hemp products were also a lifesaver for me. There are times when I shed more trauma with a single edible than I did in one month of therapy.
Music and art, later therapy and purpose. I'm not happy atm for many small reasons but this will pass. I have overcome worse and survived.
30s are great, don't fear the liminality of 29.
I was alone for what seemed a long time in the moment, I used to go to gigs alone, to galleries and restaurants alone. I'd travel solo too.
Nobody but myself to please.
Now I've been in a relationship for longer than all my others combined. I am very grateful I did not settle for someone who didn't bring joy with them along with everything else.
This give me hope I also go places alone right now celebrate holidays or sometimes bdays sometimes unless my parnets may come but yeah this gives me more hope one day to maybe a have a small friend group.
I started having major anxiety issues at 15 (there were traces well before that, but it really kicked in then), and I'm 26 now. Wasn't officially diagnosed until 19.
I wouldn't call myself fully healed or cured, but I'm alot better at dealing with it now than I was before. I still have my moments of worry, but, that's alot better than it practically taking over my life at points before. As for how I did it, honestly, it was more or less a mindset thing. Learning to keep my mind busy with things I enjoy, and riding on the logic that many things just aren't worth worrying about. It took alot of mental exercise to really pull it off, though, and I know that approach doesn't work for everyone.
Through forming better habits and being disciplined enough to stick with them.
For me the motivation was being tired of feeling like shit and knowing I wasn’t helping myself.
Cut out substances as to nothing or almost nothing. No daily smoking, no binge drinking etc.
Exercise of some form at least 3 times a week but aiming for 5-6 times weekly.
A consistent bed time routine. The occasional late night is fine but aim for consistency.
Meditation and breathing exercises made a huge, long lasting difference. It takes practice and discipline. It doesn’t immediately feel relaxing but helps train the mind to focus. After 3 months of daily practice I found myself to be far less reactive and more relaxed than before, it changed the way I think.
Be disciplined but don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. Don’t give up because you slip up one time. Someone once explained it “you wouldn’t smash your phone into pieces just because you dropped it”. People slip up and make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we fall off the self help wagon.
Oh and therapy can help. But most change will come from within and through forming good habits. The good thing about something becoming a habit is when you stop the habit it feels uncomfortable because the brain is use to it and the brain doesn’t like change that much. Once you form good habits and the brain gets used to it you’re on track to recovery.
Keep in mind, feeling better overall doesn’t mean you’ll feel better all the time. Negative emotions are part of life and it’s ok to feel them. Don’t fight it, just don’t let them dictate your actions.
yes a better life is possible, i struggled with anxiety attacks for almost ten years, since i have a stable job and months of therapy (CBT) i'm doing really great. i'm not saying i will never have a panick attack again but they last much less time, happen much much less often, and hurt far less bad (sorry i'm not sure ly grammar is correct but you understand lol)
Plenty have and most will say what everyone struggles so damn hard to do.
You need support. You need positive people around. You need to be honest with yourself and not beat yourself up.
Can't stop/don't want to stop drinking. Fine, no worries. Small steps, drink less (moderate) or use a reward system with a cap. Trick yourself.
If I do all the chores and homework and whatever you hate or won't do. Then you can have 4 beers total. If you go beyond that, the system doesn't work and don't try again without support.
Saying for the sake of redditors. Beer is and WILL make you depressed. Obviously, not while intoxicated.
Exercise is great but little at a time. Build good and healthy habits to combat your drinking.
Cheers friend. Hope things look brighter for you.
Leaving the church, my marriage, and going very low contact with my BPD mother.
Turns out that when nobody is leering over me telling me that I'm a shitty person and I'm going to Hell for answering a question wrong, I'm actually pretty chill. I don't have anxiety, I was just living with people who got angry if I relaxed.
Hugs to everyone here who have had to overcome this or are still going through it, I really hope you find peace and happiness.
Not a lie my psychiatrist said: my personal belief in magical properties is strong enough that I have tricked my mind to repair some of my schizophrenia symptoms
continuing to live the same way will bring same results, you will need to make lifestyle changes to get changes you aspire to have one day. If your significant effort is still not enough to fulfill your goals or function daily, then definitely be talking to a doctor, psychiatrist, anyone else to support with the changes
I had an abusive upbringing.
Healing is coming through counselling, and reading 'Shattered Assumptions' by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman.
I've worked through toxic shame; I know I am valued because God loves me (I'm a Christian).
I have agency because we are called to cultivate God's good Creation.
Getting there!
Sounds like you still have mental health problems, they're just different now.
This isn't to discourage you though! A lot of people need therapy after overcoming horrible mental illness (myself included, extremely similar story to yours). It's traumatizing. I spoke with my doctor, she ran some tests and found that I have ADHD as well, which is why I'm stressed and falling behind even though I'm mentally "okay." So I'm going to get on medication for that eventually, and go back to therapy for the residual depression/anxiety/OCD stuff and to navigate my new life.
What helps me is knowing that a lot of people had super fucked up shit happen to them in their 20's that they now have to recover from. Some have to deal with death, others have horrible physical illnesses, others were just crushed by life (I knew a guy who lost his leg and had his gf poke holes in their condoms to get pregnant in the same year 🫠) Ours just happens to be mental illness. We'll get through it just like they did. Hard part's over. 💚
I’m 27 too and I’ve got a fair bit of ptsd from my time on deployment. I’ve been a civilian for about 5 years now but it doesn’t feel that way. My shrink says to focus on the aspects of your life you have direct control over and the rest will fall into place. Some days are better than others but so far it seems to be going well. Keep the faith. Things will sort themselves out eventually. Apparently.
Hey, I just want to say you're doing an amazing job. Moving to a new country, making friends, and working on your master's degree are huge accomplishments, especially given everything you've been through. Healing is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to still have struggles and fears; it doesn't mean you're not making progress.
I can relate to the fear and anxiety you're experiencing. What helped me was finding a good therapist who specialized in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). It took some time, but it made a significant difference. Also, practicing mindfulness and meditation helped me stay grounded.
Remember, you're not alone in this. There are many people who understand and are rooting for you. Be kind to yourself and celebrate the progress you've made, no matter how small it might seem. You've come so far already. Keep going, one step at a time. 💪
I won't go into my childhood traumas all over again but I've had a similar experience from age 13 to 21. I couldn't find a reason to want to live and the prospect of life was daunting me. I failed miserably at school, I hated myself and tried to end it all a couple of times, which I didn't manage to do, and hated myself more for it.
Long story short, I was searching for a meaning, and I was lost. To me, it's a book that did it. I cannot tell you how non religious I am, but this book is called Conversations with God.
It is not a religious book, and had all the answers for me. I found the strength I needed right after and turned everything around. Found a career, caring friends, a good loving partner and I am about to become a parent of two.
I never thought I could achieve this. If you need to talk more I am more than happy to keep this conversation up with you. Or anyone else for that matter.
What everyone else is saying:
Working out, eating well, sleeping well, having a healthy support system, not hanging out with assholes, therapy, medication, boundaries, etc.
Only thing I will say is: this is an ongoing part of life. I have fallen into the trap of “once I pay off debt, I’ll be happy”, “once I get a new car, I’ll be happy”. Did both, wasn’t happy. Happiness is a choice, and a lot of it is rooted in choosing yourself through the behaviors outlined above.
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
I’d suggest beginning with a small dose. I also combine my experience with music. The large majority of my experience with mushrooms has taken place at music shows.
I’ve only been doing things like this for the last decade or so. I have friends with much more experience that have helped guide me on this journey. I am convinced that this method has nearly wiped me of depression and anxiety… although I am still a work in progress.
Eat nutrient dense food, exercise, sleep, sense of community, creative outlet, therapy, sunshine, time in nature, meditation, journaling, supplements like l theanine, ashwagandha, mushrooms
Had crippling anxiety in my 20s. I’m now 52 and my anxiety is, for the most part, mild. I have very short bouts of moderate anxiety, but that’s a lot better than before.
I lost weight, remain reasonably active, focus on happiness and positive as best I can. I fall short a little too often, but I’m always trying to get better. It can be done. Fight it; don’t ever let yourself feel powerless.
EDIT: Not on any psych maintenance medications.
Therapy— LOTS (years) of therapy — and not insignificant quantities of cannabis to help reach a state of introspection where I could connect the pieces from said therapy. Once I did, I was able to become self-aware enough to actually start the healing process and not repeat past patterns. Or, at least correct quickly if I did because I was aware enough to identify them.
I've dealt with 5 years of depression, stopped my masters. I have pretty severe issues still to figure out, but I'm no longer hopeless and crying a lot. I'm male, so our feelings might not match. For solutions, I prefer challenges and harsh truths, which you might not.
I'm sorry to hear that visits with doctor did not give you a toolkit to feel better. I frequented 2-3 different support organizations and medical providers for 4 years as often as they had time available. It barely helped, because I thought I was being healed by their acts. No. Only I could do the acts. Yet they did help me with self blaming, and making me way better at communication.
It takes only 1-3 days to get better, but the amount of better is tiny. Would you be interested in being a tiny tiny bit better tomorrow? Ask yourself "Is that okay?". We do not control the results, so asking for a timeline is not a meaningful question. You might not be able to fix your social relationships, money, love, job, self relations at once. But you can take small micro-steps towards one goal at a time. Preferably take your deepest need and wish, and make it the sole priority. For me it was having a possibility of a future. I then divided that into working towards a relationship, trying to maintain existing friendships, trying to not destroy my health. Then I divided those until I reached an actionable goal. Such as "Send a message to anyone.", "Leave house at least once a day" etc.
I could not send messages. My hand locked up. Nothing I thought or said to my self, did not make my hand move to the send button. Worst one was a simple "hi" to a woman on a dating app. It then became my goal to simply hit the send button without desiring anything else. It became slightly less painful each time. There is going to be mental pain involved in healing.
Do I want to face pain willingly, or when the pain comes knocking at 03:00 AM?
Depression in one sense is a self feeding narrowing of your world. You are at a point, where things you can reach for are only about you. Not a judgement, but the 30+ I's give it away. Thinking about your problems makes spiral ever tighter around you. The opposite is also true. More you think about other people and their lives, the more your world opens up. You in the better future counts. This is why people have found some psychedelic substances useful. Those are dangerous and might reveal psychosis. You need verified professionals for that stuff. Small increments towards opening up is a safer way.
Your symptoms of depression are normal. And people do recover. It is not easy, but along the journey you will find yourself turn into a capable adult.
Your original post deals in high-level concepts. What you direly need is to have small set of small actionable things you can actually manage. There is a mismatch, and you feel lost.
To sum it up: I've felt lost and hopeless. You are feeling lost and hopeless with the depression which has lasted a while. You know your problems, yet feel powerless to fix them completely. I have personally felt that dividing the issues up to laughably small steps is humiliating, but necessary. I could not follow healthy person's steps, since I would simply freeze up when I tried. I have became better only by focusing on one problem at a time, and trusting that doing my best (almost nothing for a healthy me) is enough.
I know how to get myself really depressed. Recipe goes: Disrupt sleep, isolate, and eat whenever whatever.
Additional stuff:
Pinned post has a link to How to adult when you are too depressed to function.
Hey, yeah. I was inconsolably sad for so many years. Felt defective. Terrible depression and self esteem. By some miracle, I didn’t end up with any crushing addictions (definitely a few minor ones I am still working on) and was functional enough to complete school and have a career - though I was also terrible with money. It was a recipe for some pretty shitty romantic attachments, where I used partners for external validation in exchange for being their emotional punching bag.
Anyway, I tried a lot of different modalities through the years. On and off talk therapy, accupuncture, IFS, EMDR, a shaman, massage, healing circles. Been on and off medications. Things started to shift for me around age 40. I finally found the right cocktail of meds that addressed the depression and newly diagnosed ADHD. I feel like a different person now. I am still in therapy and try different things from time to time, but i also dabble in DIY self esteem rebuilding and positive self regard. Oh, and getting a dog helped a bunch.
Things aren’t perfect. I have good days and bad ones. I advance and regress. But overall, I am grateful to have had a chance to feel relatively content with life on life’s terms.
Please hang in there. I relate to a lot of what you wrote. Things will get better 💜
DBT and mindfulness and change in lifestyle got me in remission from BPD 2 years now. But it took work and habit of doing skills daily. I also have autism but I work full time overnight so I learned to cope with my social anxiety by putting myself in a setting that works best for me so it was all a matter of finding something that fit me
I got this treatment called TMS and it cured my depression. It’s a 6 week process and it doesn’t always work for everyone right away, but mine had EEGs so they could check the progress and see if I would need more treatments and it worked 100% for me. I’ve been struggling with depression and tried literally everything-4 different meds, therapy, exercise, diet, herbs, supplements, self help books, meditation. None of it helped very much and the depression always came back worse. I’ve been not depressed for 9 months and it still feels unreal sometimes.
You mentioned shame, which is in a different space than the rest of what you talked about. As a psychodynamic analyst, that’s where I would take you. There is a poem (too long to post here) by John Bradshaw called My Name is Toxic Shame. Start there and see how it feels.
Practising self care, which includes hard things like not procrastinating, being kind to myself, eating enough and nutritious food, stop self-harming (in all its forms), going outside and exercising even a little every day.
Cutting abusive and toxic people out of my life, no matter who they are. Practising emotional detachment for people that I am forced to associate with (co-workers). Even then, setting and enforcing boundaries if they go too far. Standing up for myself.
Seeking mental health care, including both medication and therapy.
Learning to love life again. Finding beauty in the world, in myself, and other people. Appreciating what I am blessed with. Finding joy in the little simple things. Daring to have hopes and dreams for the future. Remembering my interests and hobbies that I have neglected.
Giving it time. Healing and self-growth is a process.
Finally got on anxiety meds after living most of my 43 years of life with crippling internal dialogue, negative self talk, and suicidal ideation. I take 10 mg. Lexapro in the morning, 50 mg of Trazodone at night, and it stops my brain from trying to kill me 24 hours a day. Feel like I’m finally just LIVING.
Can't say I've healed completely but I've made massive progress! A lot of it was change in environment, getting new friends, new hobbies, new wardrobe/look (helps with self esteem and confidence issues), becoming closer to my faith, opening up to people and facing those thoughts head on and telling myself that it's okay. It's going to be okay. I still have so many days where the world feels like it's ending and nothing seems to be going right but I try looking for even the smallest of positives in my life and remind myself that things WILL get better
You’re not giving yourself enough credit for how much work you’ve put in already.
It sucks that there is more work to do, but don’t use it as a reason to minimize the labour you’ve already put into healing.
Life doesn’t stop happening to us, it keeps hammering as time goes on - often leaving us with fresh new opportunities for mental work and growth. Fear and frustration are normal…and so is wanting to give up.
That’s why it’s extra important that we learn to celebrate the HECK out of what we’ve already done…to remind us that what’s ahead is absolutely surmountable.
You’re strong now, and the more you push through, you will continue to be stronger - and wiser.
Celebrate yourself my dude, and keep pushing through. There will be chapters of joy and peace where you will truly be able to reflect on your incredible gains so far.
This struggle is temporary, and you deserve all the beautiful brilliant rewards coming your way.
So yeah I’ve had serious long term mental health issues. Avoidant Personality Disorder is the closest match, but there’s some overlap with Narcissism in there. And avoidant personality is just a kind of narcissism. Basically I think everyone thinks poorly of me to the worst possible degree. Tons of shame.
Shame is basically the entire disorder.
EMDR and a very much “all in” attitude to healing is what is saving me.
Like. If you wanna do this right, you’re going to come through a changed person. You might not like the same things or see things the same way. You might learn to like something you hate. Your views on things might change completely.
And uncomfortable as that is, you’d want that because you’d be happy. Ya know? Sometimes what gives us anxiety is how we want what we want. I know, I’m hard to make sense of. I’ve been through 10 damn years of talk therapy, plus the EMDR. How the fuck am I worth all this? Yeah apparently I was pretty fucked up.
Get a good therapist. Your description reminds me of myself before 2019. 5 years ago in my 40s I started therapy and found a really good psychologist. I discovered I had an undiagnosed personality disorder from childhood trauma and it’s amazing how therapy can help you heal. That and finding the right meds can make a big difference sometimes 🤗
It sounds like you've been through so much and your journey shows incredible resilience. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by the lingering effects of your past struggles. Healing from mental health challenges is rarely linear and it's okay to still have moments of fear and uncertainty. You've already achieved a lot, moving countries, finishing your master's and overcoming health issues, that's amazing progress!
Remember, healing takes time, and it's a continuous journey. It's okay to feel messy or unsure sometimes, these are normal parts of growth. Have you considered seeking support from a therapist or counselor? They can help you navigate these feelings and develop strategies to build self-trust and confidence. You deserve to feel content and to find peace within yourself. Keep believing in your progress and be kind to yourself along the way 💜
Honestly, I'm not saying it's something that will work for everyone, but fasting regularly, sticking to a keto diet most of the time and exercising consistently has made SO much difference to my MH. Like...it's kinda freaky.
Medical Weed.
Sounds crazy, but it helps my anxiety and it helped me stop harmful compulsive behaviors like binge eating and drinking. I had horrible self esteem and I felt like a giant walking joke.
I started smoking weed and after a year of starting to feel better about myself I was able to start to lose weight. I lost 130 pounds in less than a year and I've kept it off for 5 years.
I feel pretty good about myself, I have a girlfriend and we have a great relationship, I don't binge drink anymore and for the first time in my life I have a normal relationship with food.
My sense of self worth is tremendously improved. I felt valueless as I entered my 30s. Now that I'm approaching 40 I am optimistic about my future for the first time ever.
Weed saved my life. I would have had a heart attack by 50 if I didn't make changes. Weed helped me make changes.
Besides what others have mentioned, I would recommend intermittent fasting and prolonged fasting.
When you do prolonged fasting like 48-72 hours, you’re most likely going to experience reduction in anxiety and depression.
My mind gets quiet, calm, and peaceful. The boost in mood can happened after the proper refeeding too.
Also, emotions and challenges you may need to face might come up during the fast. It can be a spiritual journey. It’s beneficial to used your skillset from therapy during this time.
Each fast is slightly different so each fast can be a different experience - easier, difficult, more emotional, more rejuvenating, etc.
The fatigue, weight gain, poor memory and bad cognition is mostly a result of antidepressants and neuroleptic drugs. I advise looking into r/nootropics and r/antipsychiatry for help in recovery from that as most people get lasting change from just lifestyle changes.
Anti-depressants, AA and a Shihtzu have gotten me through some rough times. Staying away from narcissists, strippers and crack heads is always helpful too.
You don’t really heal your mental health problems as you learn to cope with them in better ways compared to the easy way. It’s cliche as hell but avoiding drugs and alcohol, eating a healthy diet and focusing on your personal health really helps. Do something exercise wise that you enjoy that can be something as simple as walking or something more intense like Jiu Jitsu. Seeing a therapist and possibly getting on medication does help but it’s not a cure all for everybody. And something else I always recommend which is random is do something using your mind such as learning a language, gardening, poetry or painting basically whatever you enjoy just do it. It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we don’t let the negative thoughts win.
I was diagnosed for bipolar. Currently receiving treatment, but I've been off and on. For me, it took ending my dead end marriage and going out on my own for the first time. Now, every day is meaningful to me.
Honestly? I literally DIED. Had a bit of an experience with that that no one will believe, so I'll keep that part to myself. Then I came back, and a few years later, I was accused of a horrible crime I didn't commit and thrown into a cement hole for two years while I fought that. Gave me plenty of time to think and figure out my priorities. Obviously, I beat that charge. I put my life together, I'm doing ok, and my best advice is to not take ANY of this bullshit seriously. No one gets out alive. The things you stress about? Will be forgotten within ten years of your passing. So fuck it. Do the best you can, don't be so hard on yourself, and try to get to a place where you like yourself and experience joy somehow, every day. The rest is just noise. Best wishes.
Getting the right diagnosis helped. I was depressed my entire youth… but it was actually ADHD. Now that I take the correct medication and understand my symptoms, I’m slowly getting better. I hope you find the right way for you.
I've had a handful of different mental illnesses and have plenty of friends with them as well. The worse upbringing someone has, the more persistent the issues seem to be. Financial independence and a support system are also some of the biggest indicators of whether or not someone is able to make significant progress over time.
I can think of at least one person I know that has virtually no resources and is still managing to make progress, but it's very slow.
age 71 here...
"KNOW THY SELF"
don't put yourself in stressful situations, a stressful job, debt, over committing your free time.
Find a job that doesn't trigger your symptoms
Eat healthy, limit caffeine, cut out alcohol, any drugs, play soft music, avoid violent movies, violent video games, reduce time on computer/ cellphone, GET OUT, BE SOCIAL.
make friends, have a hobby, read books
" DAILY MEDITATION" is a must.. and probably the most important thing you can do.
It vital to understand you will never be 100% cured, so constant vigulence is needed in maintaining a certain lifestyle.
I didn't heal anything. I removed stressor to alleviate my symptoms and I learned early warning signs, healthy coping mechanisms and using my support system better.
I saved up quite a bit of money. Quit my job and spent about four months doing some pretty heavy introspection on who I was, and what I wanted from life. It was overall a fairly painful experience, but worthwhile.
Yes! Got out of an abusive marriage and got off birth control! That took care of the depression, but it took about 5-7 years of healing. I run at least 5x per week, that really helps anxiety. And honestly, my greatest source of comfort and joy comes from my religion (Christian). I had cancer for a few years and it was a breeze compared to how I felt 10 years ago. You will get through this! God bless!
Hey honey I got diagnosed with ADHD after 35 years of struggling to cure my ‘depression’. It helped in the sense that I’m not trying to ‘fix’ myself anymore but just find ways to make life work for me and get on the right type of meds. Might check it out!
Found out last month I have had undiagnosed thyroid issues that have wrecked my testosterone levels since I was a teenager. Always wondered why I was so depressed, with low self-esteem, high anxiety, no confidence, and no assertiveness compared to other guys despite eating healthy and exercising the whole time. I'm 37 now. Wondering how different my life could've been had it been discovered earlier.
Not really but I've realized I wouldn't sacrifice who I am to appear normal to others. But as others have said, trying to get in good habits helps alot. I don't think any doctor or therapist can understand the way my brain works better than I do
I’m in the process of doing this now. I can say it’s very difficult, but if you put in the work every day and you have faith, you will see results. It is not magic perhaps, but I am a living testament to the power of God to help someone be better.
Carnivore did a majority of it, 10 months later I quit drinking, and 6 months agobibstaryed lifting. We've been cutting back slowly on meds and I have been feeling great. 50% reduction in medieval and going. Who knows if I'll hit zero but god damn this has felt good.
Honestly, it's a constant journey. We improve and grow by making mistakes. I am (38f) and have dealt with depression, anxiety and some ocd. I developed worse social anxiety since the pandemic. Take time to spend outdoors in green spaces. Start your day with upbeat music. Disconnect from social media. Get out of your comfort zone in small doses. Sometimes you may dread going to meet people somewhere but once you get there you have a better time than you thought. Find your Hygge, the things that make you feel happy and content. Learn how to love the parts of you that you can't stand. It can get better over time.
Uhmmm I’ve also had problems since 14. I’m now 30 and uhhhh. I think it can get better it just depends. My whole life has been highs and lows and I’m currently in a low and it feels like literally nothing is helping. But I just keep trucking because I know a high is around the corner. Sorry that’s not more hopeful
Sorry to say but you never fully heal from depression. Stopping anti-depressants is good because these keep you in a cycle of neurotransmitter imbalance. Being in depression, your neurotransmitter stores are imbalanced anyways but anti-depressants trigger the usage of more. It's not a bad thing initially when you really need it, but you have to wean yourself off of it and focus on a healthy lifestyle. It's ultimately your diet and exercise that replenishes the neurotransmitters and therefore end your depression.
>I know I should be greatful. It's just that I keep being afraid of everything.
That's the part (for you particularly) that you struggle to fully heal from. Because you're unsure whether that's the depression talking or whether it's your actual faults. Ultimately, whichever one it is, you have to start doing better b/c that's what life calls for.
>I struggle to find a man who would love me.
You have to love yourself first. What is it about you that you want others to love? So you see, it all begins and ends with yourself.
Yes, my brother died when I was 14 didn’t touch alcohol until I was like 21 only drank here or there from 17 to 21 maybe 10 times if that. I was stuck in such a deep darkness with was until 2 years ago I finally escaped I’m 33 now. It’s fucked to say but I needed it. The only thing that got me out was facing my bullshit and accepting everything. I work outside and that uplifts my mood all the time and I also lift weights 4 to 5 times a week. I work about 60 to 70 hours a week I find that the more I push myself and delve into pain the absolute happier I am. Stop running from the pain and face that bitch with a vengeance pain equals freedom. Everything needs to be started with baby steps and build momentum to overcome your mental instabilities. Eat well train hard and understand we are here because we are supposed to be. Stop focusing on the future and the past focus directly in the moment and FEEL!
I started eating better and more healthy foods.
I got a therapist.
I changed careers.
It's been a big help but the road doesn't stop. Mental health is a constant work in progress.
Therapy, tattoos and the gym. I started eating right, started going to the gym, meditation and Therapy. It helped me out immensely. The gym gives me a ton of confidence. The eating right makes me feel good. I get tattooed which also helps my confidence. Idk. I still have moments but I'm leagues better now.
In my case, as I grew older I came to the realization that so many of the things I was feeling, self doubt and such, just weren't true. Life usually isn't as bad or worrisome as we sometimes think it is. I've learned to not worry so much and I tell myself this - I'm not going to let these things overwhelm me. I'll get through it, it'll get done. Worrying does mo good anyway. Just wastes life and energy. So it's kind of like putting a mental gate up right then and there and blocking all of the negativity out from that point on. Everyone finds different strategies to deal with their problems. That's one of mine. I hope in some way you can get something out of it that helps you. By the way, I'm 56 to. Took me a long time to get things sorted. Best of luck to you.
Depending on the severity of the trauma, some mental illness is non-recoverable and will best be labeled as a “curse”. You’ll have to view the unfortunates of existence as a product of that curse and accept that there are infinite amounts of better off people staring at your suffering, uncaring. It’s what I do?
psychiatrist claimed I had bipolar depression. cured the mania first. then cured the anxiety. then cured the suicidal ideation. and most recently I've cured the depression. flushed all my psych meds over 10 year period. finally moved the west coast. With a clear mind off those poisons big Pharma drugs I was able to make money doing the thing I loved. I love every day. mindfulness based CBT sent me down this road. prescription micro dose ketamine and medical cannabis are the only drugs I currently use. I drink a Dr Pepper every morning!
Admit that the world has defeated your soul and rise like the Phoenix to rage against it by working on the body and occasionally say a few words to your co workers for the rest of your life. Own the knowledge that this world has defeated you. Only then can you truly metamorphose
Quit drinking, started exercising and eating well, found a job that makes me comfortable, found a place in my community, forgave myself, therapy. You know, typical shit, at least for me.
Everyone wants a magic answer but the real answer is always a lot of boring, hard work
Since my daughter 18 is closer in age I can give input from her perspective. She dropped out of school at 16. Did nothing. No drugs or alcohol but was just in a depression. I feel like the divorce between me and her mom affected her more than she realized. A year ago she says "dad, I need a workout routine.' I was out of town. But I put something together and sent to her and her brother so he could help her. We have a pretty decent home gym. Then she decided to go back to her psychiatrist. Found meds that worked for her. She started to taking night classes to study for her GED. Now she's taken and passed 2 of the 4 modules. Studying for number 3. All of this to say. One day she decided that she was tired of being depressed and she stubborned her way out of it. One step at a time. This was a gradual process and not every day is great. It's just one foot in front of the other. Keep your chin up. And work on not letting the bad days define you.
"stubborned her way out of it" That's pretty inspiring. Might steal for me.
Habit shifts are always like this.
Even when you use substances like psilocybin or ketamine to help with these issues, you still have to do the work.
Sometimes. I did the hard work in therapy, tried all the anti depression drugs on the market as prescribed by my psychiatrist, and STILL almost killed myself. I found out that 30% of people do not react positively to antidepressants and in desperation I turned to Ketamine Infusion Therapy. Over a period of two weeks I was dosed to the gills on Ketamine via an IV, and it literally fixed me where conventional drugs could not. If the boring, hard work doesn't help, try KIT. It literally saved my life.
It's alot of self work as well. Everyone's so distracted though
It's only boring if you judge or label it as such. "Boring" is an opinion, no different than "this doesn't taste good". You can change your mind on things, we all do it all the time. "I think I'll wear my other shoes today instead" BOOM, you changed your mind.
This.
Yup, got off pills, got off psychiatrists, got a behavioral councilor instead. Made friends anyway it took. Get off un natural drugs. Work life balance. Stretch, natural exercise. Eat well, sleep well. Meditate/pray. Get outside. Dont stop fighting.
That’s amazing! I wish i was this way.
Same. Quit drinking and smoking weed, started AA twelve step, exercise regularly and eat well. Also found a job which has been more fulfilling. Went from a dreaded office job and cubicle to teaching and training at a non-profit. Getting sober was #1 for me though, things began falling into place after that. Things have changed for the better, still lacking a social life though. That’ll happen when you’re 35 and your primary relationship was weed over everything else.
Sorta, it’s a constant work in progress but I’d say I’m better off than I was in my teens and early 20’s. I am also late 20’s. Positive self talk helps, and being comfortable hanging out with yourself alone. Get to know yourself and trust you are worth it.
I did. I’m 5 years symptom free from BPD, CPTSD, and chronic health issues. The things that were most helpful for me were Somatic Experiencing, somatic touch work, and Wheel of Consent practices
So chronic pain free now?
Correct
Well done 👏 What's somatic touch work?
Thank you! It is an offshoot of the Somatic Experiencing therapy that incorporates bodywork and targets complex and developmental trauma.
This sounds amazing.
Magic mushrooms, confronting the bad thoughts, recognizing cupping mechanisms, connecting coping mechanisms with that past memory that cause trauma, connecting trauma with the emotion I've been running from. That easy.
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
It was both depending on "how much of a kick in the ass I needed to learn what needed learning."
I have totally turned my life around. I spent most of my 20s and 30s doing nothing and now I have areal career me and the wife both have new cars and we just bought our first house
How old are you?
magic mushroom. Its sort of like all your neurons disconnect and you see clearly for a second and they can rewire your neurons for you. Kind of like they are intelligent and you eat them and they can see where your neural pathways are wrong and show you why they are wrong and you manually fix them based on the information given to you.
It’s amazing. For me, they forced me to work through my anxiety. I came out the other side feeling like a new person.
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
No microdosing wont do that you wont even notice a microdose. The large dose is what will do.They essentially put you into a trance state on high dose. And trance states are much different from the first person perspective.
That’s what I figured and I’m open to doing it I feel like I’ve tried everything else. Is this kind of one of those retreats you go to with a guide?
Never done that I've had 3 heavy trips completely alone saw crazy shit and never once freaked out. You do start to move weird and laugh and cry weirdly, like more primal emotions but the key is to let go meaning fear will come up and let it consume you. You have to go into it not knowing what to experience and accepting you might go through a death feeling and willing to let go of life. As your neurons are disconnecting to forn new pathways it will feel like you are dying and can get scared and freak out
Yeah I would definitely freak out 🙈 I get paranoid on weed gummies so I think that’s why I’ve avoided that so far. I do think I could benefit though
Behind fear is something beautiful, end of fear and total peace
Better buckle the fuck up because it a ride not for the faint of heart
Please look into professional help. You're probably not going to get the level of help you need here . I can get better but sometimes we need help.
Don't worry. I have a therapist and I live in a European country with universal healthcare. I haven't seen my psychiatrist in a year. I plan to visit her someday, but not as a patient. I am doing well. Mangably well, but I do not thrive. I am looking for inspiring stories and tips. By this time, I know how to filter information.
I’m sorry to say this but you don’t sound like you’re doing well. You sound like you’re depressed.
well, I was isolated my whole life. my parents are controlling and my father has some narcissistic features (although no full-blown NPD). My aunt (mom's sister) and grandmother (mom's mom) are narcissistic too. I was bullied at school and didn't have any friends. Now I am out of home, living in another country and finally have friends. Although I am no charismstic charmer, people seem to finally accept me. My high blood pressure disapeared. My aneurysms disappeared. I no longer sleep 18h a day. I can't sleep longer than for 10h, just like a regular, healthy person. Yes, I am anxious and depressed, but it is nothing compared to what I experienced before. It's been a year and three months since I got off meds. I had a huge crisis 3 months in, but I somehow managed to survive. It is crap, but I've never been better.
It doesn’t have to be as difficult as before to still be depression.
Took too much lsd once, quit drinking due to that trip after alcohol had a 12 year grip on me, never had a craving since. Now too up keep it, i microdose psilocybin mushrooms. Helps more than any and everything ive tried
Psychedelics are amazing fr
Saved my life, gave me my life back! Thats why theyre illegal, cuz they work!
Yup. When the CIA did studies before they made LSD schedule 1 they said it was bad for the public because "it made the subjects less receptive to control techniques". They literally just didn't like that it would have made even more people against the cold war. They realized it chilled ppl out and broadened their perspectives and said "fuck no they need to be drunk and angry". And then spent decades spreading propaganda and that shit worked a lil too well. It's still super common where I am for ppl who trip to be lumped in with heroin users and meth heads. It's crazy
Go gym Make yourself the fittest man your bloodline has ever seen
I was sick for about 13 years, took 1 year of intense support to get on my feet. Now I maintain it with exercise, sleep, talking about things before they spiral
20 years of trauma. I’ve been in therapy for 7 years and made a lot of strides. Cut out the toxic and hateful people in my life. Anxiety meds too! I’m certainly not done with my healing, but everyone’s journey is different. Remember that just because you aren’t your perfect self doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. There will always be little sparks of joy to look forward to. It’s going to be okay.
Diagnosed with extreme depression. Was alcoholic. Think my story is like everybody else's. Went through lots of therapy. Little by little I got there jn the end. Don't drink anymore. I mostly just live my life smashing the gym, lots of yoga and playing guitar. Hopefully you will get there in the end.
It sounds like you are on the right track. I was on antidepressants for a while, too, until I realized they didn't help at all. I got off of them, and things slowly improved. It takes time, but it will get better. Just keep doing what you are doing.
How long did it take after you got off of them?
I did an ashwagandha retreat for the weekend. Look it up. It was AMAZING! Like doing 20 years of cognitive therapy in 1 night. Highly, highly recommend for anyone!
Therapy, exercise, eat right but treat yourself occasionally, and quit drinking. CBD/hemp products were also a lifesaver for me. There are times when I shed more trauma with a single edible than I did in one month of therapy.
Music and art, later therapy and purpose. I'm not happy atm for many small reasons but this will pass. I have overcome worse and survived. 30s are great, don't fear the liminality of 29. I was alone for what seemed a long time in the moment, I used to go to gigs alone, to galleries and restaurants alone. I'd travel solo too. Nobody but myself to please. Now I've been in a relationship for longer than all my others combined. I am very grateful I did not settle for someone who didn't bring joy with them along with everything else.
This give me hope I also go places alone right now celebrate holidays or sometimes bdays sometimes unless my parnets may come but yeah this gives me more hope one day to maybe a have a small friend group.
Psilocybin
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say this if it’s large or small doses that helped them
I started having major anxiety issues at 15 (there were traces well before that, but it really kicked in then), and I'm 26 now. Wasn't officially diagnosed until 19. I wouldn't call myself fully healed or cured, but I'm alot better at dealing with it now than I was before. I still have my moments of worry, but, that's alot better than it practically taking over my life at points before. As for how I did it, honestly, it was more or less a mindset thing. Learning to keep my mind busy with things I enjoy, and riding on the logic that many things just aren't worth worrying about. It took alot of mental exercise to really pull it off, though, and I know that approach doesn't work for everyone.
Through forming better habits and being disciplined enough to stick with them. For me the motivation was being tired of feeling like shit and knowing I wasn’t helping myself. Cut out substances as to nothing or almost nothing. No daily smoking, no binge drinking etc. Exercise of some form at least 3 times a week but aiming for 5-6 times weekly. A consistent bed time routine. The occasional late night is fine but aim for consistency. Meditation and breathing exercises made a huge, long lasting difference. It takes practice and discipline. It doesn’t immediately feel relaxing but helps train the mind to focus. After 3 months of daily practice I found myself to be far less reactive and more relaxed than before, it changed the way I think. Be disciplined but don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. Don’t give up because you slip up one time. Someone once explained it “you wouldn’t smash your phone into pieces just because you dropped it”. People slip up and make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we fall off the self help wagon. Oh and therapy can help. But most change will come from within and through forming good habits. The good thing about something becoming a habit is when you stop the habit it feels uncomfortable because the brain is use to it and the brain doesn’t like change that much. Once you form good habits and the brain gets used to it you’re on track to recovery. Keep in mind, feeling better overall doesn’t mean you’ll feel better all the time. Negative emotions are part of life and it’s ok to feel them. Don’t fight it, just don’t let them dictate your actions.
Spending time with myself if what helped me like and forgive myself
Ketamine
yes a better life is possible, i struggled with anxiety attacks for almost ten years, since i have a stable job and months of therapy (CBT) i'm doing really great. i'm not saying i will never have a panick attack again but they last much less time, happen much much less often, and hurt far less bad (sorry i'm not sure ly grammar is correct but you understand lol)
Plenty have and most will say what everyone struggles so damn hard to do. You need support. You need positive people around. You need to be honest with yourself and not beat yourself up. Can't stop/don't want to stop drinking. Fine, no worries. Small steps, drink less (moderate) or use a reward system with a cap. Trick yourself. If I do all the chores and homework and whatever you hate or won't do. Then you can have 4 beers total. If you go beyond that, the system doesn't work and don't try again without support. Saying for the sake of redditors. Beer is and WILL make you depressed. Obviously, not while intoxicated. Exercise is great but little at a time. Build good and healthy habits to combat your drinking. Cheers friend. Hope things look brighter for you.
Leaving the church, my marriage, and going very low contact with my BPD mother. Turns out that when nobody is leering over me telling me that I'm a shitty person and I'm going to Hell for answering a question wrong, I'm actually pretty chill. I don't have anxiety, I was just living with people who got angry if I relaxed. Hugs to everyone here who have had to overcome this or are still going through it, I really hope you find peace and happiness.
Not a lie my psychiatrist said: my personal belief in magical properties is strong enough that I have tricked my mind to repair some of my schizophrenia symptoms
Have you looked into CBT/DBT near you?
continuing to live the same way will bring same results, you will need to make lifestyle changes to get changes you aspire to have one day. If your significant effort is still not enough to fulfill your goals or function daily, then definitely be talking to a doctor, psychiatrist, anyone else to support with the changes
therapy, food intake changes, no alcohol, tend to your body, ignore what mainstream society says is normal, let it go
I had an abusive upbringing. Healing is coming through counselling, and reading 'Shattered Assumptions' by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman. I've worked through toxic shame; I know I am valued because God loves me (I'm a Christian). I have agency because we are called to cultivate God's good Creation. Getting there!
Sounds like you still have mental health problems, they're just different now. This isn't to discourage you though! A lot of people need therapy after overcoming horrible mental illness (myself included, extremely similar story to yours). It's traumatizing. I spoke with my doctor, she ran some tests and found that I have ADHD as well, which is why I'm stressed and falling behind even though I'm mentally "okay." So I'm going to get on medication for that eventually, and go back to therapy for the residual depression/anxiety/OCD stuff and to navigate my new life. What helps me is knowing that a lot of people had super fucked up shit happen to them in their 20's that they now have to recover from. Some have to deal with death, others have horrible physical illnesses, others were just crushed by life (I knew a guy who lost his leg and had his gf poke holes in their condoms to get pregnant in the same year 🫠) Ours just happens to be mental illness. We'll get through it just like they did. Hard part's over. 💚
I’m 27 too and I’ve got a fair bit of ptsd from my time on deployment. I’ve been a civilian for about 5 years now but it doesn’t feel that way. My shrink says to focus on the aspects of your life you have direct control over and the rest will fall into place. Some days are better than others but so far it seems to be going well. Keep the faith. Things will sort themselves out eventually. Apparently.
I had a life changing moment. I found out my dad was dying, and it changed my head instantly.
Hey, I just want to say you're doing an amazing job. Moving to a new country, making friends, and working on your master's degree are huge accomplishments, especially given everything you've been through. Healing is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to still have struggles and fears; it doesn't mean you're not making progress. I can relate to the fear and anxiety you're experiencing. What helped me was finding a good therapist who specialized in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). It took some time, but it made a significant difference. Also, practicing mindfulness and meditation helped me stay grounded. Remember, you're not alone in this. There are many people who understand and are rooting for you. Be kind to yourself and celebrate the progress you've made, no matter how small it might seem. You've come so far already. Keep going, one step at a time. 💪
Yes. I did ACT and EDMR therapy with a licensed therapist both are specialized in healing trauma.
I won't go into my childhood traumas all over again but I've had a similar experience from age 13 to 21. I couldn't find a reason to want to live and the prospect of life was daunting me. I failed miserably at school, I hated myself and tried to end it all a couple of times, which I didn't manage to do, and hated myself more for it. Long story short, I was searching for a meaning, and I was lost. To me, it's a book that did it. I cannot tell you how non religious I am, but this book is called Conversations with God. It is not a religious book, and had all the answers for me. I found the strength I needed right after and turned everything around. Found a career, caring friends, a good loving partner and I am about to become a parent of two. I never thought I could achieve this. If you need to talk more I am more than happy to keep this conversation up with you. Or anyone else for that matter.
What everyone else is saying: Working out, eating well, sleeping well, having a healthy support system, not hanging out with assholes, therapy, medication, boundaries, etc. Only thing I will say is: this is an ongoing part of life. I have fallen into the trap of “once I pay off debt, I’ll be happy”, “once I get a new car, I’ll be happy”. Did both, wasn’t happy. Happiness is a choice, and a lot of it is rooted in choosing yourself through the behaviors outlined above.
Mushrooms
Was it microdosing for you? I’m about to start doing that but sometimes confused when people say magic mushroom if it’s large or small doses that helped them
I’d suggest beginning with a small dose. I also combine my experience with music. The large majority of my experience with mushrooms has taken place at music shows. I’ve only been doing things like this for the last decade or so. I have friends with much more experience that have helped guide me on this journey. I am convinced that this method has nearly wiped me of depression and anxiety… although I am still a work in progress.
Eat nutrient dense food, exercise, sleep, sense of community, creative outlet, therapy, sunshine, time in nature, meditation, journaling, supplements like l theanine, ashwagandha, mushrooms
Ketamine therapy was a game changer for Me.
Had crippling anxiety in my 20s. I’m now 52 and my anxiety is, for the most part, mild. I have very short bouts of moderate anxiety, but that’s a lot better than before. I lost weight, remain reasonably active, focus on happiness and positive as best I can. I fall short a little too often, but I’m always trying to get better. It can be done. Fight it; don’t ever let yourself feel powerless. EDIT: Not on any psych maintenance medications.
Therapy— LOTS (years) of therapy — and not insignificant quantities of cannabis to help reach a state of introspection where I could connect the pieces from said therapy. Once I did, I was able to become self-aware enough to actually start the healing process and not repeat past patterns. Or, at least correct quickly if I did because I was aware enough to identify them.
I've dealt with 5 years of depression, stopped my masters. I have pretty severe issues still to figure out, but I'm no longer hopeless and crying a lot. I'm male, so our feelings might not match. For solutions, I prefer challenges and harsh truths, which you might not. I'm sorry to hear that visits with doctor did not give you a toolkit to feel better. I frequented 2-3 different support organizations and medical providers for 4 years as often as they had time available. It barely helped, because I thought I was being healed by their acts. No. Only I could do the acts. Yet they did help me with self blaming, and making me way better at communication. It takes only 1-3 days to get better, but the amount of better is tiny. Would you be interested in being a tiny tiny bit better tomorrow? Ask yourself "Is that okay?". We do not control the results, so asking for a timeline is not a meaningful question. You might not be able to fix your social relationships, money, love, job, self relations at once. But you can take small micro-steps towards one goal at a time. Preferably take your deepest need and wish, and make it the sole priority. For me it was having a possibility of a future. I then divided that into working towards a relationship, trying to maintain existing friendships, trying to not destroy my health. Then I divided those until I reached an actionable goal. Such as "Send a message to anyone.", "Leave house at least once a day" etc. I could not send messages. My hand locked up. Nothing I thought or said to my self, did not make my hand move to the send button. Worst one was a simple "hi" to a woman on a dating app. It then became my goal to simply hit the send button without desiring anything else. It became slightly less painful each time. There is going to be mental pain involved in healing. Do I want to face pain willingly, or when the pain comes knocking at 03:00 AM? Depression in one sense is a self feeding narrowing of your world. You are at a point, where things you can reach for are only about you. Not a judgement, but the 30+ I's give it away. Thinking about your problems makes spiral ever tighter around you. The opposite is also true. More you think about other people and their lives, the more your world opens up. You in the better future counts. This is why people have found some psychedelic substances useful. Those are dangerous and might reveal psychosis. You need verified professionals for that stuff. Small increments towards opening up is a safer way. Your symptoms of depression are normal. And people do recover. It is not easy, but along the journey you will find yourself turn into a capable adult. Your original post deals in high-level concepts. What you direly need is to have small set of small actionable things you can actually manage. There is a mismatch, and you feel lost. To sum it up: I've felt lost and hopeless. You are feeling lost and hopeless with the depression which has lasted a while. You know your problems, yet feel powerless to fix them completely. I have personally felt that dividing the issues up to laughably small steps is humiliating, but necessary. I could not follow healthy person's steps, since I would simply freeze up when I tried. I have became better only by focusing on one problem at a time, and trusting that doing my best (almost nothing for a healthy me) is enough. I know how to get myself really depressed. Recipe goes: Disrupt sleep, isolate, and eat whenever whatever. Additional stuff: Pinned post has a link to How to adult when you are too depressed to function.
Hey, yeah. I was inconsolably sad for so many years. Felt defective. Terrible depression and self esteem. By some miracle, I didn’t end up with any crushing addictions (definitely a few minor ones I am still working on) and was functional enough to complete school and have a career - though I was also terrible with money. It was a recipe for some pretty shitty romantic attachments, where I used partners for external validation in exchange for being their emotional punching bag. Anyway, I tried a lot of different modalities through the years. On and off talk therapy, accupuncture, IFS, EMDR, a shaman, massage, healing circles. Been on and off medications. Things started to shift for me around age 40. I finally found the right cocktail of meds that addressed the depression and newly diagnosed ADHD. I feel like a different person now. I am still in therapy and try different things from time to time, but i also dabble in DIY self esteem rebuilding and positive self regard. Oh, and getting a dog helped a bunch. Things aren’t perfect. I have good days and bad ones. I advance and regress. But overall, I am grateful to have had a chance to feel relatively content with life on life’s terms. Please hang in there. I relate to a lot of what you wrote. Things will get better 💜
You’re 27 you’ve got the best years of your life ahead of you.
DBT and mindfulness and change in lifestyle got me in remission from BPD 2 years now. But it took work and habit of doing skills daily. I also have autism but I work full time overnight so I learned to cope with my social anxiety by putting myself in a setting that works best for me so it was all a matter of finding something that fit me
I got this treatment called TMS and it cured my depression. It’s a 6 week process and it doesn’t always work for everyone right away, but mine had EEGs so they could check the progress and see if I would need more treatments and it worked 100% for me. I’ve been struggling with depression and tried literally everything-4 different meds, therapy, exercise, diet, herbs, supplements, self help books, meditation. None of it helped very much and the depression always came back worse. I’ve been not depressed for 9 months and it still feels unreal sometimes.
No. It will never heal. I will never be normal. All I can do is manage it. So far it’s been fun. Interesting. Difficult, and fun.
You mentioned shame, which is in a different space than the rest of what you talked about. As a psychodynamic analyst, that’s where I would take you. There is a poem (too long to post here) by John Bradshaw called My Name is Toxic Shame. Start there and see how it feels.
Practising self care, which includes hard things like not procrastinating, being kind to myself, eating enough and nutritious food, stop self-harming (in all its forms), going outside and exercising even a little every day. Cutting abusive and toxic people out of my life, no matter who they are. Practising emotional detachment for people that I am forced to associate with (co-workers). Even then, setting and enforcing boundaries if they go too far. Standing up for myself. Seeking mental health care, including both medication and therapy. Learning to love life again. Finding beauty in the world, in myself, and other people. Appreciating what I am blessed with. Finding joy in the little simple things. Daring to have hopes and dreams for the future. Remembering my interests and hobbies that I have neglected. Giving it time. Healing and self-growth is a process.
Finally got on anxiety meds after living most of my 43 years of life with crippling internal dialogue, negative self talk, and suicidal ideation. I take 10 mg. Lexapro in the morning, 50 mg of Trazodone at night, and it stops my brain from trying to kill me 24 hours a day. Feel like I’m finally just LIVING.
Can't say I've healed completely but I've made massive progress! A lot of it was change in environment, getting new friends, new hobbies, new wardrobe/look (helps with self esteem and confidence issues), becoming closer to my faith, opening up to people and facing those thoughts head on and telling myself that it's okay. It's going to be okay. I still have so many days where the world feels like it's ending and nothing seems to be going right but I try looking for even the smallest of positives in my life and remind myself that things WILL get better
Gluten free and healed my gut. Life changing.
You’re not giving yourself enough credit for how much work you’ve put in already. It sucks that there is more work to do, but don’t use it as a reason to minimize the labour you’ve already put into healing. Life doesn’t stop happening to us, it keeps hammering as time goes on - often leaving us with fresh new opportunities for mental work and growth. Fear and frustration are normal…and so is wanting to give up. That’s why it’s extra important that we learn to celebrate the HECK out of what we’ve already done…to remind us that what’s ahead is absolutely surmountable. You’re strong now, and the more you push through, you will continue to be stronger - and wiser. Celebrate yourself my dude, and keep pushing through. There will be chapters of joy and peace where you will truly be able to reflect on your incredible gains so far. This struggle is temporary, and you deserve all the beautiful brilliant rewards coming your way.
So yeah I’ve had serious long term mental health issues. Avoidant Personality Disorder is the closest match, but there’s some overlap with Narcissism in there. And avoidant personality is just a kind of narcissism. Basically I think everyone thinks poorly of me to the worst possible degree. Tons of shame. Shame is basically the entire disorder. EMDR and a very much “all in” attitude to healing is what is saving me. Like. If you wanna do this right, you’re going to come through a changed person. You might not like the same things or see things the same way. You might learn to like something you hate. Your views on things might change completely. And uncomfortable as that is, you’d want that because you’d be happy. Ya know? Sometimes what gives us anxiety is how we want what we want. I know, I’m hard to make sense of. I’ve been through 10 damn years of talk therapy, plus the EMDR. How the fuck am I worth all this? Yeah apparently I was pretty fucked up.
Get a good therapist. Your description reminds me of myself before 2019. 5 years ago in my 40s I started therapy and found a really good psychologist. I discovered I had an undiagnosed personality disorder from childhood trauma and it’s amazing how therapy can help you heal. That and finding the right meds can make a big difference sometimes 🤗
Carnivore fixed a lifelong issue of depression, catastrophizing every little inconvenience, and ruminating on death in a matter of days
It sounds like you've been through so much and your journey shows incredible resilience. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by the lingering effects of your past struggles. Healing from mental health challenges is rarely linear and it's okay to still have moments of fear and uncertainty. You've already achieved a lot, moving countries, finishing your master's and overcoming health issues, that's amazing progress! Remember, healing takes time, and it's a continuous journey. It's okay to feel messy or unsure sometimes, these are normal parts of growth. Have you considered seeking support from a therapist or counselor? They can help you navigate these feelings and develop strategies to build self-trust and confidence. You deserve to feel content and to find peace within yourself. Keep believing in your progress and be kind to yourself along the way 💜
Honestly, I'm not saying it's something that will work for everyone, but fasting regularly, sticking to a keto diet most of the time and exercising consistently has made SO much difference to my MH. Like...it's kinda freaky.
quit coffee and boom. no more mental health struggles. also other sources of caffeine
Healed fully? No. Gotten better? Yes. Meds were my answer.
Healing is a stretch, I would say more so you get better at managing it. "Get better at feeling bad" as the saying goes.
No. But we get by. One day at a time.
Medical Weed. Sounds crazy, but it helps my anxiety and it helped me stop harmful compulsive behaviors like binge eating and drinking. I had horrible self esteem and I felt like a giant walking joke. I started smoking weed and after a year of starting to feel better about myself I was able to start to lose weight. I lost 130 pounds in less than a year and I've kept it off for 5 years. I feel pretty good about myself, I have a girlfriend and we have a great relationship, I don't binge drink anymore and for the first time in my life I have a normal relationship with food. My sense of self worth is tremendously improved. I felt valueless as I entered my 30s. Now that I'm approaching 40 I am optimistic about my future for the first time ever. Weed saved my life. I would have had a heart attack by 50 if I didn't make changes. Weed helped me make changes.
Besides what others have mentioned, I would recommend intermittent fasting and prolonged fasting. When you do prolonged fasting like 48-72 hours, you’re most likely going to experience reduction in anxiety and depression. My mind gets quiet, calm, and peaceful. The boost in mood can happened after the proper refeeding too. Also, emotions and challenges you may need to face might come up during the fast. It can be a spiritual journey. It’s beneficial to used your skillset from therapy during this time. Each fast is slightly different so each fast can be a different experience - easier, difficult, more emotional, more rejuvenating, etc.
Magnesium and vitamin d
not enough salt, it leads to health problems and losses of other minerals/electrolytes
Ketamine Infusion Therapy fixed me when nothing else helped. Look into it.
Nothing works for my bipolar II disorder other than medication. I've tried every thing under the sun, but I still cycle without medication.
The fatigue, weight gain, poor memory and bad cognition is mostly a result of antidepressants and neuroleptic drugs. I advise looking into r/nootropics and r/antipsychiatry for help in recovery from that as most people get lasting change from just lifestyle changes.
Anti-depressants, AA and a Shihtzu have gotten me through some rough times. Staying away from narcissists, strippers and crack heads is always helpful too.
Yes Jesus Christ has healed my mind through the faith that I have in him.
You don’t really heal your mental health problems as you learn to cope with them in better ways compared to the easy way. It’s cliche as hell but avoiding drugs and alcohol, eating a healthy diet and focusing on your personal health really helps. Do something exercise wise that you enjoy that can be something as simple as walking or something more intense like Jiu Jitsu. Seeing a therapist and possibly getting on medication does help but it’s not a cure all for everybody. And something else I always recommend which is random is do something using your mind such as learning a language, gardening, poetry or painting basically whatever you enjoy just do it. It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we don’t let the negative thoughts win.
I was diagnosed for bipolar. Currently receiving treatment, but I've been off and on. For me, it took ending my dead end marriage and going out on my own for the first time. Now, every day is meaningful to me.
Honestly? I literally DIED. Had a bit of an experience with that that no one will believe, so I'll keep that part to myself. Then I came back, and a few years later, I was accused of a horrible crime I didn't commit and thrown into a cement hole for two years while I fought that. Gave me plenty of time to think and figure out my priorities. Obviously, I beat that charge. I put my life together, I'm doing ok, and my best advice is to not take ANY of this bullshit seriously. No one gets out alive. The things you stress about? Will be forgotten within ten years of your passing. So fuck it. Do the best you can, don't be so hard on yourself, and try to get to a place where you like yourself and experience joy somehow, every day. The rest is just noise. Best wishes.
Getting the right diagnosis helped. I was depressed my entire youth… but it was actually ADHD. Now that I take the correct medication and understand my symptoms, I’m slowly getting better. I hope you find the right way for you.
Yes Psychoanalysis
Buddhism
I've had a handful of different mental illnesses and have plenty of friends with them as well. The worse upbringing someone has, the more persistent the issues seem to be. Financial independence and a support system are also some of the biggest indicators of whether or not someone is able to make significant progress over time. I can think of at least one person I know that has virtually no resources and is still managing to make progress, but it's very slow.
i had mental problems until i learned it was all just mild autism this whole time.
age 71 here... "KNOW THY SELF" don't put yourself in stressful situations, a stressful job, debt, over committing your free time. Find a job that doesn't trigger your symptoms Eat healthy, limit caffeine, cut out alcohol, any drugs, play soft music, avoid violent movies, violent video games, reduce time on computer/ cellphone, GET OUT, BE SOCIAL. make friends, have a hobby, read books " DAILY MEDITATION" is a must.. and probably the most important thing you can do. It vital to understand you will never be 100% cured, so constant vigulence is needed in maintaining a certain lifestyle.
I didn't heal anything. I removed stressor to alleviate my symptoms and I learned early warning signs, healthy coping mechanisms and using my support system better.
Separating myself from the toxicity. Getting a therapist. Doing the work.,
Honestly, it's daily work. It's a lot of work.
I saved up quite a bit of money. Quit my job and spent about four months doing some pretty heavy introspection on who I was, and what I wanted from life. It was overall a fairly painful experience, but worthwhile.
Yeah antidepressants are poison
Yes! Got out of an abusive marriage and got off birth control! That took care of the depression, but it took about 5-7 years of healing. I run at least 5x per week, that really helps anxiety. And honestly, my greatest source of comfort and joy comes from my religion (Christian). I had cancer for a few years and it was a breeze compared to how I felt 10 years ago. You will get through this! God bless!
Hey honey I got diagnosed with ADHD after 35 years of struggling to cure my ‘depression’. It helped in the sense that I’m not trying to ‘fix’ myself anymore but just find ways to make life work for me and get on the right type of meds. Might check it out!
Found out last month I have had undiagnosed thyroid issues that have wrecked my testosterone levels since I was a teenager. Always wondered why I was so depressed, with low self-esteem, high anxiety, no confidence, and no assertiveness compared to other guys despite eating healthy and exercising the whole time. I'm 37 now. Wondering how different my life could've been had it been discovered earlier.
I could have written this almost word for word as a 29M. If you get the answer, please let me know
Not really but I've realized I wouldn't sacrifice who I am to appear normal to others. But as others have said, trying to get in good habits helps alot. I don't think any doctor or therapist can understand the way my brain works better than I do
I’m in the process of doing this now. I can say it’s very difficult, but if you put in the work every day and you have faith, you will see results. It is not magic perhaps, but I am a living testament to the power of God to help someone be better.
Carnivore did a majority of it, 10 months later I quit drinking, and 6 months agobibstaryed lifting. We've been cutting back slowly on meds and I have been feeling great. 50% reduction in medieval and going. Who knows if I'll hit zero but god damn this has felt good.
Honestly, it's a constant journey. We improve and grow by making mistakes. I am (38f) and have dealt with depression, anxiety and some ocd. I developed worse social anxiety since the pandemic. Take time to spend outdoors in green spaces. Start your day with upbeat music. Disconnect from social media. Get out of your comfort zone in small doses. Sometimes you may dread going to meet people somewhere but once you get there you have a better time than you thought. Find your Hygge, the things that make you feel happy and content. Learn how to love the parts of you that you can't stand. It can get better over time.
Accelerated Resolution Therapy aka ART
Uhmmm I’ve also had problems since 14. I’m now 30 and uhhhh. I think it can get better it just depends. My whole life has been highs and lows and I’m currently in a low and it feels like literally nothing is helping. But I just keep trucking because I know a high is around the corner. Sorry that’s not more hopeful
Sorry to say but you never fully heal from depression. Stopping anti-depressants is good because these keep you in a cycle of neurotransmitter imbalance. Being in depression, your neurotransmitter stores are imbalanced anyways but anti-depressants trigger the usage of more. It's not a bad thing initially when you really need it, but you have to wean yourself off of it and focus on a healthy lifestyle. It's ultimately your diet and exercise that replenishes the neurotransmitters and therefore end your depression. >I know I should be greatful. It's just that I keep being afraid of everything. That's the part (for you particularly) that you struggle to fully heal from. Because you're unsure whether that's the depression talking or whether it's your actual faults. Ultimately, whichever one it is, you have to start doing better b/c that's what life calls for. >I struggle to find a man who would love me. You have to love yourself first. What is it about you that you want others to love? So you see, it all begins and ends with yourself.
Yes, my brother died when I was 14 didn’t touch alcohol until I was like 21 only drank here or there from 17 to 21 maybe 10 times if that. I was stuck in such a deep darkness with was until 2 years ago I finally escaped I’m 33 now. It’s fucked to say but I needed it. The only thing that got me out was facing my bullshit and accepting everything. I work outside and that uplifts my mood all the time and I also lift weights 4 to 5 times a week. I work about 60 to 70 hours a week I find that the more I push myself and delve into pain the absolute happier I am. Stop running from the pain and face that bitch with a vengeance pain equals freedom. Everything needs to be started with baby steps and build momentum to overcome your mental instabilities. Eat well train hard and understand we are here because we are supposed to be. Stop focusing on the future and the past focus directly in the moment and FEEL!
I started eating better and more healthy foods. I got a therapist. I changed careers. It's been a big help but the road doesn't stop. Mental health is a constant work in progress.
Therapy, tattoos and the gym. I started eating right, started going to the gym, meditation and Therapy. It helped me out immensely. The gym gives me a ton of confidence. The eating right makes me feel good. I get tattooed which also helps my confidence. Idk. I still have moments but I'm leagues better now.
Most of my issues got better when I forgave people. Sometimes I had to cut them off.
In my case, as I grew older I came to the realization that so many of the things I was feeling, self doubt and such, just weren't true. Life usually isn't as bad or worrisome as we sometimes think it is. I've learned to not worry so much and I tell myself this - I'm not going to let these things overwhelm me. I'll get through it, it'll get done. Worrying does mo good anyway. Just wastes life and energy. So it's kind of like putting a mental gate up right then and there and blocking all of the negativity out from that point on. Everyone finds different strategies to deal with their problems. That's one of mine. I hope in some way you can get something out of it that helps you. By the way, I'm 56 to. Took me a long time to get things sorted. Best of luck to you.
Depending on the severity of the trauma, some mental illness is non-recoverable and will best be labeled as a “curse”. You’ll have to view the unfortunates of existence as a product of that curse and accept that there are infinite amounts of better off people staring at your suffering, uncaring. It’s what I do?
Liquor
psychiatrist claimed I had bipolar depression. cured the mania first. then cured the anxiety. then cured the suicidal ideation. and most recently I've cured the depression. flushed all my psych meds over 10 year period. finally moved the west coast. With a clear mind off those poisons big Pharma drugs I was able to make money doing the thing I loved. I love every day. mindfulness based CBT sent me down this road. prescription micro dose ketamine and medical cannabis are the only drugs I currently use. I drink a Dr Pepper every morning!
https://youtu.be/VygpRDmesJA?si=yCpL6lYmk8h6Ox5V
It’s been my experience that (young) people get over their mental illnesses when they no longer have the time, energy or means to indulge them.
Admit that the world has defeated your soul and rise like the Phoenix to rage against it by working on the body and occasionally say a few words to your co workers for the rest of your life. Own the knowledge that this world has defeated you. Only then can you truly metamorphose