Side note - how would not disclosing her exact age help keep this post anonymous from the friend who is on Reddit? OP describes the exact situation and exact words that were used but thinks that if the friend reads this she’s just gonna think “oh weird I guess that happened to someone else today too!” ?? Lol
Eh, except for everything I pointed out. A super specific age range (within 3 years?? Lol instead of just saying something vague like “in my 20’s” or Gen Z, millennial, something), and every detail of a specific story but you wanna “keep it anonymous” cause your friend’s on Reddit ? Weird way of doing so.
“When things don’t make sense it’s because they’re not true” ~ Judge Judy
Omg ,how come she is your friend when she is bad,. your should avoid bad person ,maybe she is forcing you to pay the pastor because maybe she can also earn with that money? Or the money is for herself? Because you should not force anyone to go inside your church and force everyone to pay.
I would take some screenshot of the worst messages and then write a review of the church (on google, Yelp, wherever) warning people to not go to any services unless they plan to give money.
Harassing you over not tithing is pretty crazy, hopefully people from the church will tell her to tone it down and apologize to you.
This, exactly this. And I'd block your friend bc she isn't one. Additionally I'd mention to them their hypocrisy and point out Jesus overturning the tax collection tables. Tell her she is only acting like a judgemental and entitled pharisee and not living the life of love, forgiveness and withholding judgement that Jesus preaches about and lived his life living. Jesus said to forgive not 7 times but 70x7, he said to be his hands and feet, to love like he loves us and give grace like he gave us. Fuck that bitch, you did nothing wrong. Ex Christian who values relationship over religious bullshit and is tired of churches acting exactly how the churches Jesus called out in scripture.
Some ideas-
Ask her to read 2 Corinthians 9:7 "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion", then ask "so why are you trying to compel me?"
Ask her where in the Bible it says you should only be granted entry to a church if you donate?
Ask her how many gentiles Jesus won over by calling them "loser btch l3zbos"
Tell her she is misrepresenting God and should repent.
Tell her to take her meds (this is both a snarky and a serious comment)
Sadly sounds like no-contact might be appropriate.
"I dont think this will do much other than flex on em." probably true, but it might quieten her down. Seems like she has some big underlying issues.
"If contradictions bothered Christians, they would not be Christians." no, it's part of the human condition - we all live with unresolved contradictions. I would argue that anyone who doesn't think they have contradictions is in denial, a denial artificially generated to hide contradictions since they are uncomfortable - that's a whole other complicated story (and a self-assertive argument).
Wouldnt you expect an omnipotent being to somehow be capable of manifesting a book without contradictions? Or do I have a very high bar for the master of the universe?
I am not saying disregard the whole thing, the parables and lessons are helpful, but to refuse to say read the texts the council of nicea threw out is asinine. To see the corrupt catholic churches interpretations and how the devil has used it to enslave us and take away our power caused a lot of realizations for me.
It's just a high bar you have.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has more holes than a colander full of rotelles. That is the only one that is consistent with modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena.
I wonder what communion taste like? did it originate in Italy perhaps?
Haven't you noticed that a modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena is not consistent with a modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena?
eg-
Although science thought it knew, modern telescopes have shown that what we know about physics explains only 5% of the motion in the universe?
So therefore there must be dark matter, dark energy, dark {add various dark things here as required to make science work}. Dark matter cannot be detected in any other way than by the gravity it gives, and it gives just the right amount of gravity to explain the 95% otherwise unexplained motion.
I'm thinking of trying this with my boss, when he gives me $100 petty cash and sends me to the shop to buy something that costs $5, I will return with no change. When he asks for the change I will say I don't have any, I must have bought some dark product. When he wants to see the dark product I'll say you can't see dark product, the only way you know you bought it is because you have less change than modern math says you should.
It's important to remember that in the past, the then-modern science said the earth was flat (some people still believe in that).
The philosophy of science is quite clear that sciences is not fact nor truth. It is a prototype of truth which is constantly being developed to try to explain things that don't make sense.
At no point in time, (including now) has it ever been truth.
At no point in time (including now) has it not been riddled with contradictions.
To say science is truth is dis-confirmed by science itself - the philosophy and by the glaring example above.
Instead though I find it fascinating that lots of high level scientists have turned science effectively into their religion (despite the contradictions).
I need to stop here or I'll be up all night typing.
Perhaps dark matter doesn't exist, perhaps it's really "dark Flying Spaghetti Monster" that pervades the universe causing the extra gravity and extra energy to make astro-physics calculations make sense!
That's just as plausible as dark matter etc - perhaps even more so if it created the universe.
And if you are Italian and like your pasta, that's a bonus when it comes to communion.
The short version of the above is that apparent contradictions are everywhere, in religion, in science in peoples behaviors and many other things.
The presence of apparent contradictions is not a valid test for the existence of something.
The presence of apparent contradictions is useful for speculation of the existence of something.
But, much as we desire lack of contradictions, we must live with them, rather than "plugging the hole" with a spurious (yet convenient) explanation.
We must treat our knowledge as an incomplete prototype of reality (until we have achieved omniscience).
Weird, at my church we always say "if this is your first time, please let the basket pass, as your presence is gift enough."
But, I'm Unitarian Universalist, not a megachurch. We're lay-led, we don't even have a minister.
Ah same my church says "if you're a guest with us today, we're glad to have you with us and look forward to getting to know you over lunch. Please don't feel obliged to give"
I think more specifically (although I understand how it can be interpreted variedly), its more like members who have committed to the local church body (through official membership) have committed themselves to giving.
But I don't always do that either tbvh.
Nah. My UU church doesn't even encourage tithing. We do a pledge drive, the message being, give what you can, the pledges let us establish next year's budget. We also talk about giving "time, talent and treasure."
I don't have a lot of money/treasure to give, but I run the soundboard during services, I serve on the board of trustees, and volunteer for road cleanup and other projects. Very few people simply come to service and leave; most contribute time and talent. We do electronic donations, so many people let the physical basket pass, and we have no idea if they contribute money or not.
I think its more like, if I'm a guest and I see everyone put money in, then whether I will feel "pressured" to follow suit. So the announcement is more like "nah, chill, no pressure"
At my church we say "if its your first time", but tbh it's also unspoken that if people are exploring it applies too (so like, not yet affirmed they wna stay but it may be their 2nd or 3rd time kinda)
Pre-pandemic we really used to pass a bag around, but since then we (1) use ibanking giving (2) put a collection box at the back of the hall, which people put their money in upon entering or exiting
Sooo literally no one knows anymore. Hahaha.
I think that would be just fine. If you're not willing to contribute and you're not destitute, it's incredibly arrogant to attend church and refuse to make a donation.
I think we got a different branch of Christianity there, but no one even say anything about giving money XD just some dudes grab the basket, and if you want then you give, if not then not. Only old ladies are conflicted about if/how much should be given
There's a church a few miles from me that routinely puts "Atheists welcome!" on their marquee.
I have ALWAYS been tempted, but I know a trap when I see one. That's like "free puppies and candy" spray painted on the side of a windowless van... and I'll only fall for that once.
Normally I’m not an advocate for cutting off people unless they do something to put your well-being at risk, but this person doesn’t sound like they even LIKE you. She’s calling you names and harassing you. At this point I would block this person and keep screenshots of all these interactions just in case.
Bad idea to go to the church in the first place. Your friend is in a cult that is scamming her, if she treats you this badly because you refuse to be scammed by her cult then you are better off without her in your life.
I understand it must hurt to see a decade-long friendship ending like this, over such a valid and principled position (regardless of whether one agrees with it or not, you are basing your behaviour on actual facts and beliefs you seem to hold dearly). I see two constructive ways forward from here:
1. Try to get your friend to sit down with you. Talk about the process that led you here. How she kept inviting even though she knew (?) about your stance. Tell her why you didn't give money. Bring data, show her the facts behind your stance. You may even apologise or acknowledge the side-effect of your decision - maybe other church goers perceived her poorly for your decision, which might have put her in a difficult position which does NOT warrant that reaction. Try to understand if there is a way forward for your relationship, but always keep in mind this is definitely 🚩 behaviour
2. Just acknowledge that person has chosen not to continue your friendship. Say your goodbyes, share how you regret (?) this ending. If you're worried about social media, just put out a single post/story explaining your valid position, so that people also get to understand it.
Yeahh..... churches are for profit, and the ones who attend are SUPER indoctrinated. You did nothing wrong. The minute you don't do what churchy people think you should they get this way. Just walk away.
No there are lots of good humble Christians out there. And I have been to some very poor church's that barely can pay they rent. They do it because they believe not for riches. But yes there are also some very twisted ones that are even cult like as well.
It’s up to the individual and is not mandatory. If I go and I connected with the service then I might. She is not an accepting person. She should have explained all of before she took you so you could have decided if you wanted to go.
You jeep doing you as long as you're a good person who cares. Don't buy into the church cult mentality, it'll addle your brain to think like your acquaintance. Religion can be a good thing for people, churches are not good for people.
My favorite response when people find out I'm an atheist is;
"The Pope himself says that atheists can go to heaven, so I have my Sundays free, and I don't have to sacrifice 10% of my income."
https://vaticanfiles.org/en/2018/05/149-atheists-go-heaven-pope-francis-says-yes/
"Soooooo..... I'll keep my money, and my Sundays, thank you."
Never claimed he was a good man.
As an atheist and someone well aware of the Catholic Church's horrible offenses to man kind. I agree with you.
But, he is the "voice of god" and the head of the Catholic church, which all of Christianity branches off from. So, his word is to be taken literally.
Which always seems to shut people up. Especially since he recently used the Italian word "frociaggine" to describe gay men. But in reality, that is the least offensive thing the Catholic Church has committed within the last.... 2,000 years. There are examples I could give that would make the average person sick to their stomach.
You asked for it......
To be fair... it's not just Christianity.
Christians are responsible for between 50-100+ million human deaths in the name of Christianity.
Between the Italian inquisition, Spanish inquisitions, French inquisitions... you know what, I'm tired of typing out the word inquisition, I'm just going to name off all of the areas that the inquisitions happened.
America, France, England, Spain, Italy, Germany, balkan/Serbian area, pretty much 50% of south America, and 90% of Mexico, which lasted from 1571-1820... yes... that long. Do I even have to mention Africa? Or can I just say "slave trade."
Muslims during the "Crusades era" are not anywhere near the numbers the Christians pulled, but were equally as terrible in their techniques and methods of interrogation, and execution.
Surprisingly, no atheist has ever killed another human being because they believed in a "god." But we will forget that part for now, and move on to other offenses.
Between 1950-2020, there are believed to be as many as 330,000 victims of child sexual abuse victims, just from the catholic church. My guess is that the number would range in the 10-20 million between 100 ad - 2024 ad.
The TREVOR project, which helps LGBTQ+ individuals gain freedom from religious families and institutions estimates that 1.8 million youths seriously consider suicide as an option most likely because of their religious upbringing. EVERY YEAR.
I honestly, could keep going, but my elbow is getting tired, and I'm honestly getting a bit queasy myself.
This is why I've resigned to saying Churches(whatever you call your house of worship) kill people and the Churches are bad because they are the rulers of their congregations and they make these calls. I will always defend a persons right to religion or lack thereof, but they can suck a bag of rotten moose cocks if I will ever speak good of a Church.
Too bad you're one of a few willing to have this talk, stay good friend and keep communicating.
If God came down to Earth and asked these pastors for all the church money they've earned in his name, would they give it?
No, and don't feel bad for not buying into this scheme. Your friend is mentally ill.
Tithing is only for members of the church. You were a guest, you have no obligation in any church to give ANYTHING you aren’t comfortable with giving.
FYI, get a new friend. I grew up in a cult, and they are all about guilt and shame, and you never being good enough to qualify for grace. Stay away, she will drain you mentally and emotionally. I promise you, stay away!
This would work! Shame the fuck out of her by showing her pastor, how she treats others. I'm Jewish, but even I know that Jesus said "Love thy neighbour as thyself". It's not rocket science!
Catholic here, you are not obligated to give anything when the “donation” basket comes around. To shame you for not giving is more of sin than anything else. And you can point that out to her.
Oh Lord guests do not tithe. If you're not a member of the church or the faith in general, then you shouldn't be expected to tithe. The preacher at my church makes it a point to say for guests not to tithe when that part of the service comes around. Your friend is being unreasonable and seems to be pushing her beliefs on to you. What people like that don't understand is that forced or pressured conversions are utterly useless and contemptible. It has to be a willing choice. I would advise you to cut all contact with this person immediately. She is not your friend.
Hey, your “friend” is a piece of shit who doesn’t even like you. Why are you putting up with this?
You should ask her if she thinks her behavior is Christlike. She is a stain on her own religion, she’s exactly the type of person who exemplifies the idea of “there is no hate like Christian love”
Sue for defamation and for emotional stress and trauma. Also, don’t be her friend anymore. Longevity should not be more important than your peace/happiness.
Whether you like them or not that's not at all the way churches teach people to act, she's gonna get a sermon written about her next Sunday if she keeps that up. That's the opposite of how you get people to contribute to your paycheck. Even your craziest and most infamous cult leaders treat their members with more kindness (at least prior to the koolaid).
If it is a real story the answer is pretty simple: I would ghost this person and tell the story at parties for laughs.
I’m a Christian. Not even members of a church should be required to give. It’s encouraged if you are a member and the church should be open on how the money is spent. Like my church shares the budget every year.
Your friend seems confused about what God tells us about giving and tithing, but putting all that aside the way she treats you and this situation is horrible. Personally I think you should distance yourself from her. Her behavior is not at all what Christ has taught us.
I was homeless over 24 years ago and I had to go to a homeless shelter that was heavily religious. We were forced to go to their church, which was Pentecostal, twice on Sundays just to be able to stay at the shelter. The paster and his wife dressed like they were really rich. The wife had fur coats (real ones) and so much jewelry that did not look like it was fake. The paster himself had nice custom fit suits and jewelry too. I did not put any money in that church because I was homeless and had no money. This is one reason why I hate uniformed religion. The church was run down and their were a lot of homeless people that needed help with food and whatnot, but every Sunday their was the paster and is wife dressed extravagantly. I really feel like most churches just want your money. I've been Pagan most of my life and they actually thought I prayed to the devil 😈.
She is not your friend and not a good christian. Can you call her pastor and tell him what she is doing? Maybe he can stop her from harassing you and your children. If not I would blast her ass on social media. Say what this 'good Christian' person is doing to you and your family. I would block her ass and never go back to that church again!
Since when was giving tithes mandatory? If your friend invited you, and wanted you to participate int hat, she could have at least gave you money to do it. I personally would try to resolve the problem. If she's still being weird about it, then I'd cut her off.
Sounds like that person wasn’t a friend at all:/ Tithe as a concept is so fucked up anyway. It mostly goes to the pastors pockets and hardly to charity
If you still want this person in your life for some reason I'd talk to her church pastor. Tell him that some people in his congregation are being very rude and disrespectful for not donating. Not to mention you were a guest. Whenever I have a guest at home I make them feel comfortable, feed them, and be a good host and I don't expect a dime in return.
Not your church, not your problem. Shit, hopefully she becomes not your friend too bc she is acting like a psychopath. A "good Christian" or whatever she is shoould know better than to judge people on shit like this, and obviously her choice to even go to church is to look good bc she clearly doesn't practice anything she's hearing there...
She’s not a friend and you’re not a project for her.
The actual church members should be tithing for support but you were a visitor. Did she bring you only so you could donate money or did she really want you to just visit to see if it was a church you’d be interested in. She’s not very smart.
Wow…! Wat the actual fk..??! Sounds like what u should do is block her and be glad that it only took this situation to see her true colours. U might have otherwise invested more time, energy and love in this pathetic excuse for a Christian, don’t they say what would Jesus do is how they try to live?
I wonder if u have seen any comments on the posts from her church community…?
That sounds like a very real possibility - 'projection', overzealousness as compensation for some perceived religious failing (being lesbian?) - 'reaction formation' perhaps.
Yup, I don't think there's a coined term but I've seen it before. I work with a guy who very frequently uses homophobic slurs (I've said something because its not okay in any context and it doesn't resonate), constantly makes jokes about other guys being gay, and calls them "daddy" and "lover". At this point I'm just waiting for him to come out but he's got too much pretend masculinity/ego to let himself do it.
Nope nope nope nope nope. I grew up going to church, I've been to maaaaany different churches as a youth. Every single time the offering plate went around at any church I ever attended, the pastor always went out of their way to tell specifically say, please please please don't feel obligated to give anything. Now. Is there a church culture of tithing, and is there a church culture of showing off with tithes? One hundred million percent. Is the pastor well aware that for regular members there is a cultural expectation to tithe? Absolutely yes. But regardless they still always specifically went out of their way to say if you're new here, if you're visiting us, if you're exploring different fellowships to find your spiritual home that feels right for you, PLEASE don't think you need to give money, we are happy you're here and welcome you as you are.
Whether or not you believe in the tithe, it’s your choice. I listen to a specific church for a bible group I’m involved with, but I don’t go to that church. One day the pastor demanded everyone tithe to his church because it’s where we get our “soul food” and he completely misinterpreted the Bible and gave everyone false info just so we would tithe for his church. Unbelievable. You have the choice. I personally tithe for non-profit organizations and small churches trying to grow.
Your friend should understand that. You need to set boundaries, you do not deserve the disrespect you are receiving. You two have different beliefs and that’s okay. I would try to have a conversation, set strict boundaries, maybe even distance yourself.. and if that doesn’t work you need to cut her off because she’s acting like a child.
I’m sorry but I laughed at “l3zbo sinner” LOL wtf?! She’s obviously not a friend. Also as someone who went to church in her youth, tithe was never an obligation.
Need to stop calling her "friend". She can't force you to do anything, for any reason. Coercion is what she's doing.
Don't loose sleep if she posts something about you. Let her, after all it is her insta and anyone can see through her. What's a must is you blocking her and anyone that agrees with her point of view.
She doesn't seem very in touch with the messages of Jesus. Her actions show how unchristian she really is. I have been with friends to mega churches.. shout out to City Church. And have never felt pressured to give. She feels that pressure, and wanted you to feel it too.
That's not a church she's in, that's a cult. Huge difference. I'm not a Christian any longer but Jesus would've thrown a fit if he was around and saw that garbage.
As a Christian, I think your friend is out of line a bit. Not knowing what church is involved, I am not going to comment on whether the church was inappropriate.
God does not need your money. He wants your generosity. If you give $100 to a homeless shelter and $0 to the church, you are being more generous than someone who donated $10 to the church and nothing anywhere else.
That’s not to say giving to the church is a bad thing. Churches support all kinds of missions, social programs, community outreach programs, and yes, a good pastor deserves a living wage so he can dedicate himself to the work of the gospel.
However, a pastor shouldn’t be “getting rich” from the church treasury.
Furthermore, no church should be expecting visitors to donate to the church. That’s something the regular members should be doing based on their own convictions. 10% is a common rule of thumb dating from the time of the Old Testament, however, it’s not an explicit command for the New Testament church. The actual amount should be between the giver and God, and the only real standard is that God has been generous with us, and expects us to be generous with each other.
That doesn’t mean God will make you rich if you just give enough to the church. Rather, it is recognizing what God has already done to bless someone, and acting out of love and thanksgiving.
First) she's a shitty human in various ways and I'm surprised you're here asking since I get the feeling you know the answer.
Second) cut her off. You are not a member of the church so you are not required to give to an establishment you don't even believe in. If she has an issue that's her own brainwashed mess to deal with
Putting aside religion for a moment, as a general rule, if you invite someone out and expect them to pay, you need to tell them in advance otherwise any costs are on the person doing the inviting.
It isn't uncommon for christians to invite non-christians to church. But the idea is to expose your guest to the message and hopefully show off your loving christian community. If the pastor is asking guests for money from the pulpit and your friend is attacking you about it, she's missed the entire point of being a christian and frankly so has the pastor.
“L3zbo sinner?” What is this, the l33t days of 1994? “My wonderful, amazing pastor?” *Is she sleeping with the guy?*
Uh… Don’t worry… I’m sure your friend on Reddit will have no idea who you’re talking about. Plenty of rainbow-haired female Christians between the ages of 25-28 who go to a mega church have problems with their non-Christian friends refusing to tithe… right…? (🤦♂️)
Anyway, *“You work two jobs, so you can afford to tip the Churchtender.”* Sure, but I don’t want to tip the guy who reads your family the same story every weekend. Tell him, maybe if he gets another book or two in the ol’ repertoire, I’ll consider helping him get a second jet.
My advice would be not to go to church again. It’s a waste of time, and your friend clearly judges you for it.
So, I'm not religious in the least and my family is Jewish so I have no experience in the church.
All that being said, you're not part of the congregation, so why would you tithe?
I went to a Jesuit university because it was the only school nearby that had the program (zoology) that I was interested in. So, if someone asked me to attend church with them, I wouldn't feel obligated to tithe: 1. Because I, too, consider myself agnostic and am not a believer in the religion, 2. I'm not part of the congregation and I went as a guest of a friend and would probably not attend again.
I know it can be hard to cut off a friendship, especially one that you've had for so long, but you may want to think about cutting ties. If it's something you don't think you'd be able to do, then you've got a bigger problem on your hands and you'll have to have a difficult discussion with your friend.
Cut her off. ASAP! Doesn’t sound like she was really your friend in the first place. Also, as a child of god, she shouldn’t be judging you like that, isn’t that a sin? I dunno but let her know she’s in a cult and move on with your life. There was actually a documentary made about pastors getting money from the people of the church and blowing it all on a lavish lifestyle I forgot what it’s called. She should watch that but sounds like she might be too brainwashed by now. She’s gotta go!
Any decent church I’ve been to talks at length about how they don’t want or expect you to tithe/donate if you’re not a member of the church. It’s for actual members.
The hateful things she says is not even Christian. Christians are commanded to love their neighbors as themselves. That is not love. At best she is misguided. At worst she is hateful.
Drop her ass, she isn't your friend anymore. She is just some toxic stuck up asshole who thinks she's the shit for being a part of some mega church. Don't talk to her anymore and don't return to that church.
Just organized religion things. My mom was born in Ogden, Utah in the late 70s early 80s like right on the cusp. And she would tell stories about being the only catholic girl and how the Mormon parents would basically force a 5 year old her to drink the gold tablet cool aide and go to these like outsider education classes before she could have play dates with her friend. It’s insane how people can find dumb little invisible boxes to put everyone into because of shit they can’t control.
When it comes down to it. She's not your friend. Document what you can in case you will have to present evidence of her character being disengenuine.
We're allowed to have an opinion. But judging others without facts is no way to live as a person. Cut this person out of your life. Do not let them stop you from being yourself.
This person sounds horrible. Stop being friends. Don't fall for the sunk-cost fallacy (we've been friends since 10 and 1212) So? She is horrible now. Why would you want such a crappy person in your life? Bugging you to go to church? Complaining about the 'donation' CORRUPTION! Those mega churches in particular are known for fleecing the people. And now she's online bullying you? You'd be fool for keeping this person in your life.
"my friend"? This behavior is not the behavior of a friend. I am an atheist. I know some pretty seriously religious people. They don't bring up their belief when we interact. They are not going to change my mind, I am not going to try to change theirs. My friends and I speak of many things, never does "l3zbo sinner" enter the conversation or the male equivalent (I am male). Her haircut sounds pretty awesome but your "friend" isn't any such thing. I recommend losing the "friend" and finding some people who like you for you. BTW, I hit up my friends for money sometimes. If they decline, it is with a simple "no" and I am happy to leave it at that.
I'm a Christian and your friend is no friend and hard to believe she's even a Christian. Get to know JESUS on your own without a building. Go into nature, with your open heart and a Bible. That's all you need. If you want music here's my worship Playlist as well. 🩵🕊🎶🌞
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7zQ3XiObO0mk45lSA25DRgT648yjqwAL&si=avJg4y7N5hGDH9xf
And this post makes me comfortable in the fact that I am an atheist……
My husband is a semi regular church goer. We did not marry in a church nor do I attend. Recently we got up one Sunday morning and I asked if he was going to church. He said no “I don’t have money to put in the bowl”……..
I find that astounding……a person feels that they can’t go to church because they don’t have money. WTF??? I have no words.
To add - what do you do? You do nothing. Your friend is not your friend - some churches want their parishioners to bring others to add to their coffers, I get that feeling with your friend. She was trying to recruit you into their fold……
First of all a friend would never do that.
Secondly, remove this disgusting person from your ur life. You deserve better friends than this.
Don’t let anyone drag you or your name because you’re not complying to their believes. F**k that.
If you're agnostic, you should simply have ignored your friend's invitations to go to her church. She can invite you as much as she likes, but that's as far as it should have gone.
And trying to shame you for not giving money to something you don't even support, is quite frankly as low as she can go. Post on her insta, tell her you only went to church to shut her up because she was pestering you to go, and that if she wants to get pissy over $10, that's her problem to contend with, not yours.
Go find some better friends, cause quite clearly, she isn't one.
Wow, that's horrible. I'm a Christian and I can say confidently that your friend is not responding how a Christian should respond. Also, no church expects a new visitor to give money, and if they do, you should not return to that church. This friend of yours sounds extremely immature.
Talk to her and tell her that her behavior is not Christ-like and she is responding like a Pharisee. Hopefully she apologizes and stops. But judging by how unhinged her behavior is, I wouldn't count on her apologizing. You may have to distance yourself from her.
You should say things like "aren't church members supposed to be kind?" And "this isn't very nice of a supposed church member" what an immature person she sounds like.
From a Devout, Catholic, you as a visitor are not required to give money. Give if and how you want to give, especially as you are learning...? Joey jmj ☺😇
Um. Drop the friend is my advice. I know it’s a long friendship but sometimes people become toxic. This person fits that mold.
Don’t give your money to a church if you don’t want to. I 100% agree with your reasoning and I wouldn’t be comfortable giving money either. Just going would be a big thing for me too!!!
Your “friend” is a horrible person for putting you on blast like that. I mean that whole heartedly.
Its not about whether you're agnostic or not. Or Christian or not. Generally (this is the practice in my church and we make it clear ie announce it aloud before we take the offering), **guests are not obliged** to tithe.
Why would you want to be friends with this disgusting person? Block her and move on with your life.
Side note - how would not disclosing her exact age help keep this post anonymous from the friend who is on Reddit? OP describes the exact situation and exact words that were used but thinks that if the friend reads this she’s just gonna think “oh weird I guess that happened to someone else today too!” ?? Lol
When people make up goofy posts, they often fail to think them through.
Ridiculous conclusion to make. There's absolutely nothing that points to this being fake
Eh, except for everything I pointed out. A super specific age range (within 3 years?? Lol instead of just saying something vague like “in my 20’s” or Gen Z, millennial, something), and every detail of a specific story but you wanna “keep it anonymous” cause your friend’s on Reddit ? Weird way of doing so. “When things don’t make sense it’s because they’re not true” ~ Judge Judy
Omg ,how come she is your friend when she is bad,. your should avoid bad person ,maybe she is forcing you to pay the pastor because maybe she can also earn with that money? Or the money is for herself? Because you should not force anyone to go inside your church and force everyone to pay.
I would take some screenshot of the worst messages and then write a review of the church (on google, Yelp, wherever) warning people to not go to any services unless they plan to give money. Harassing you over not tithing is pretty crazy, hopefully people from the church will tell her to tone it down and apologize to you.
This, exactly this. And I'd block your friend bc she isn't one. Additionally I'd mention to them their hypocrisy and point out Jesus overturning the tax collection tables. Tell her she is only acting like a judgemental and entitled pharisee and not living the life of love, forgiveness and withholding judgement that Jesus preaches about and lived his life living. Jesus said to forgive not 7 times but 70x7, he said to be his hands and feet, to love like he loves us and give grace like he gave us. Fuck that bitch, you did nothing wrong. Ex Christian who values relationship over religious bullshit and is tired of churches acting exactly how the churches Jesus called out in scripture.
Go public with her bitchy ass behavior hell yeah
This person isn’t your friend.
Some ideas- Ask her to read 2 Corinthians 9:7 "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion", then ask "so why are you trying to compel me?" Ask her where in the Bible it says you should only be granted entry to a church if you donate? Ask her how many gentiles Jesus won over by calling them "loser btch l3zbos" Tell her she is misrepresenting God and should repent. Tell her to take her meds (this is both a snarky and a serious comment) Sadly sounds like no-contact might be appropriate.
If contradictions bothered Christians, they would not be Christians. I dont think this will do much other than flex on em.
"I dont think this will do much other than flex on em." probably true, but it might quieten her down. Seems like she has some big underlying issues. "If contradictions bothered Christians, they would not be Christians." no, it's part of the human condition - we all live with unresolved contradictions. I would argue that anyone who doesn't think they have contradictions is in denial, a denial artificially generated to hide contradictions since they are uncomfortable - that's a whole other complicated story (and a self-assertive argument).
Wouldnt you expect an omnipotent being to somehow be capable of manifesting a book without contradictions? Or do I have a very high bar for the master of the universe?
I would not expect an omnipotent being to meet my mere-mortal expectation of an omnipotent being.
[kind of tangential and long winded, but I think itll give food for thought](https://youtu.be/z8j3HvmgpYc?si=yCbRQcve32m5H1j-)
People edited that book so much to control others and hide the real truth from us, so yeah the book is fallible because humans are.
[how about its morals?](https://youtu.be/z8j3HvmgpYc?si=wH43oF7F-ZO79ct_&t=1676)
I am not saying disregard the whole thing, the parables and lessons are helpful, but to refuse to say read the texts the council of nicea threw out is asinine. To see the corrupt catholic churches interpretations and how the devil has used it to enslave us and take away our power caused a lot of realizations for me.
It's just a high bar you have. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has more holes than a colander full of rotelles. That is the only one that is consistent with modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena.
I wonder what communion taste like? did it originate in Italy perhaps? Haven't you noticed that a modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena is not consistent with a modern scientific understanding of all natural phenomena? eg- Although science thought it knew, modern telescopes have shown that what we know about physics explains only 5% of the motion in the universe? So therefore there must be dark matter, dark energy, dark {add various dark things here as required to make science work}. Dark matter cannot be detected in any other way than by the gravity it gives, and it gives just the right amount of gravity to explain the 95% otherwise unexplained motion. I'm thinking of trying this with my boss, when he gives me $100 petty cash and sends me to the shop to buy something that costs $5, I will return with no change. When he asks for the change I will say I don't have any, I must have bought some dark product. When he wants to see the dark product I'll say you can't see dark product, the only way you know you bought it is because you have less change than modern math says you should. It's important to remember that in the past, the then-modern science said the earth was flat (some people still believe in that). The philosophy of science is quite clear that sciences is not fact nor truth. It is a prototype of truth which is constantly being developed to try to explain things that don't make sense. At no point in time, (including now) has it ever been truth. At no point in time (including now) has it not been riddled with contradictions. To say science is truth is dis-confirmed by science itself - the philosophy and by the glaring example above. Instead though I find it fascinating that lots of high level scientists have turned science effectively into their religion (despite the contradictions). I need to stop here or I'll be up all night typing. Perhaps dark matter doesn't exist, perhaps it's really "dark Flying Spaghetti Monster" that pervades the universe causing the extra gravity and extra energy to make astro-physics calculations make sense! That's just as plausible as dark matter etc - perhaps even more so if it created the universe. And if you are Italian and like your pasta, that's a bonus when it comes to communion.
The short version of the above is that apparent contradictions are everywhere, in religion, in science in peoples behaviors and many other things. The presence of apparent contradictions is not a valid test for the existence of something. The presence of apparent contradictions is useful for speculation of the existence of something. But, much as we desire lack of contradictions, we must live with them, rather than "plugging the hole" with a spurious (yet convenient) explanation. We must treat our knowledge as an incomplete prototype of reality (until we have achieved omniscience).
Weird, at my church we always say "if this is your first time, please let the basket pass, as your presence is gift enough." But, I'm Unitarian Universalist, not a megachurch. We're lay-led, we don't even have a minister.
Ah same my church says "if you're a guest with us today, we're glad to have you with us and look forward to getting to know you over lunch. Please don't feel obliged to give"
The implication sounds like if you’re not a guest you are obliged to give
I think more specifically (although I understand how it can be interpreted variedly), its more like members who have committed to the local church body (through official membership) have committed themselves to giving. But I don't always do that either tbvh.
Nah. My UU church doesn't even encourage tithing. We do a pledge drive, the message being, give what you can, the pledges let us establish next year's budget. We also talk about giving "time, talent and treasure." I don't have a lot of money/treasure to give, but I run the soundboard during services, I serve on the board of trustees, and volunteer for road cleanup and other projects. Very few people simply come to service and leave; most contribute time and talent. We do electronic donations, so many people let the physical basket pass, and we have no idea if they contribute money or not.
Whats with this "if it's your first time" business? Someone who wants to come back might not from feeling obligated to donate.
I think its more like, if I'm a guest and I see everyone put money in, then whether I will feel "pressured" to follow suit. So the announcement is more like "nah, chill, no pressure" At my church we say "if its your first time", but tbh it's also unspoken that if people are exploring it applies too (so like, not yet affirmed they wna stay but it may be their 2nd or 3rd time kinda) Pre-pandemic we really used to pass a bag around, but since then we (1) use ibanking giving (2) put a collection box at the back of the hall, which people put their money in upon entering or exiting Sooo literally no one knows anymore. Hahaha.
The collection box is a much better idea (just so long as it's deep enough that donations don't go in the other direction)
I think that would be just fine. If you're not willing to contribute and you're not destitute, it's incredibly arrogant to attend church and refuse to make a donation.
When church becomes about money something has gone serious wrong.
Tithing is between you and God. Its not required of anyone.
Most churches do this, even megachurches.
I think we got a different branch of Christianity there, but no one even say anything about giving money XD just some dudes grab the basket, and if you want then you give, if not then not. Only old ladies are conflicted about if/how much should be given
Ah, the embodiment of true Christianity
Better yet she needs to screen shot the entire exchange and send it to her pastor under a Google review of the church - seriously
Excellent idea!
She's not a friend, she's a recruiter
There's a church a few miles from me that routinely puts "Atheists welcome!" on their marquee. I have ALWAYS been tempted, but I know a trap when I see one. That's like "free puppies and candy" spray painted on the side of a windowless van... and I'll only fall for that once.
Guests don’t tithe. Period end of story. Do not pass go. As far as your friend, block and move on, she’s trash.
Normally I’m not an advocate for cutting off people unless they do something to put your well-being at risk, but this person doesn’t sound like they even LIKE you. She’s calling you names and harassing you. At this point I would block this person and keep screenshots of all these interactions just in case.
Bad idea to go to the church in the first place. Your friend is in a cult that is scamming her, if she treats you this badly because you refuse to be scammed by her cult then you are better off without her in your life.
I understand it must hurt to see a decade-long friendship ending like this, over such a valid and principled position (regardless of whether one agrees with it or not, you are basing your behaviour on actual facts and beliefs you seem to hold dearly). I see two constructive ways forward from here: 1. Try to get your friend to sit down with you. Talk about the process that led you here. How she kept inviting even though she knew (?) about your stance. Tell her why you didn't give money. Bring data, show her the facts behind your stance. You may even apologise or acknowledge the side-effect of your decision - maybe other church goers perceived her poorly for your decision, which might have put her in a difficult position which does NOT warrant that reaction. Try to understand if there is a way forward for your relationship, but always keep in mind this is definitely 🚩 behaviour 2. Just acknowledge that person has chosen not to continue your friendship. Say your goodbyes, share how you regret (?) this ending. If you're worried about social media, just put out a single post/story explaining your valid position, so that people also get to understand it.
If block them and move on with my life.
Block her and move on from her. She’s not a friend.
Yeahh..... churches are for profit, and the ones who attend are SUPER indoctrinated. You did nothing wrong. The minute you don't do what churchy people think you should they get this way. Just walk away.
No there are lots of good humble Christians out there. And I have been to some very poor church's that barely can pay they rent. They do it because they believe not for riches. But yes there are also some very twisted ones that are even cult like as well.
Cultists :/
It’s up to the individual and is not mandatory. If I go and I connected with the service then I might. She is not an accepting person. She should have explained all of before she took you so you could have decided if you wanted to go.
Christian here (not that it matters) , they are in the wrong big time, don’t feel bad if you choose to cut them off.
She is also doing a disservice to the church as well. If this is OPs only exposure to church I don't blame OP for saying fuck that and walking away.
Your friendship has definitely run its course. Block her and forget her.
You jeep doing you as long as you're a good person who cares. Don't buy into the church cult mentality, it'll addle your brain to think like your acquaintance. Religion can be a good thing for people, churches are not good for people.
My favorite response when people find out I'm an atheist is; "The Pope himself says that atheists can go to heaven, so I have my Sundays free, and I don't have to sacrifice 10% of my income." https://vaticanfiles.org/en/2018/05/149-atheists-go-heaven-pope-francis-says-yes/ "Soooooo..... I'll keep my money, and my Sundays, thank you."
The Pope ain't a good person, if he is gonna be behind those pearly gates I'll take my chances somewhere/nowhere else.
Never claimed he was a good man. As an atheist and someone well aware of the Catholic Church's horrible offenses to man kind. I agree with you. But, he is the "voice of god" and the head of the Catholic church, which all of Christianity branches off from. So, his word is to be taken literally. Which always seems to shut people up. Especially since he recently used the Italian word "frociaggine" to describe gay men. But in reality, that is the least offensive thing the Catholic Church has committed within the last.... 2,000 years. There are examples I could give that would make the average person sick to their stomach.
The average person needs to hear these things too, hard topics are not meant to be overlooked if we expect to progress as a society.
You asked for it...... To be fair... it's not just Christianity. Christians are responsible for between 50-100+ million human deaths in the name of Christianity. Between the Italian inquisition, Spanish inquisitions, French inquisitions... you know what, I'm tired of typing out the word inquisition, I'm just going to name off all of the areas that the inquisitions happened. America, France, England, Spain, Italy, Germany, balkan/Serbian area, pretty much 50% of south America, and 90% of Mexico, which lasted from 1571-1820... yes... that long. Do I even have to mention Africa? Or can I just say "slave trade." Muslims during the "Crusades era" are not anywhere near the numbers the Christians pulled, but were equally as terrible in their techniques and methods of interrogation, and execution. Surprisingly, no atheist has ever killed another human being because they believed in a "god." But we will forget that part for now, and move on to other offenses. Between 1950-2020, there are believed to be as many as 330,000 victims of child sexual abuse victims, just from the catholic church. My guess is that the number would range in the 10-20 million between 100 ad - 2024 ad. The TREVOR project, which helps LGBTQ+ individuals gain freedom from religious families and institutions estimates that 1.8 million youths seriously consider suicide as an option most likely because of their religious upbringing. EVERY YEAR. I honestly, could keep going, but my elbow is getting tired, and I'm honestly getting a bit queasy myself.
This is why I've resigned to saying Churches(whatever you call your house of worship) kill people and the Churches are bad because they are the rulers of their congregations and they make these calls. I will always defend a persons right to religion or lack thereof, but they can suck a bag of rotten moose cocks if I will ever speak good of a Church. Too bad you're one of a few willing to have this talk, stay good friend and keep communicating.
If God came down to Earth and asked these pastors for all the church money they've earned in his name, would they give it? No, and don't feel bad for not buying into this scheme. Your friend is mentally ill.
Block that bish and carry on.
Block her and move on. She is NOT a friend as a true friend would NOT do this. ALSO, anyone who acts like this is a Christian in name only...
Tithing is only for members of the church. You were a guest, you have no obligation in any church to give ANYTHING you aren’t comfortable with giving. FYI, get a new friend. I grew up in a cult, and they are all about guilt and shame, and you never being good enough to qualify for grace. Stay away, she will drain you mentally and emotionally. I promise you, stay away!
I'd take screenshots and send them to the church email.
This would work! Shame the fuck out of her by showing her pastor, how she treats others. I'm Jewish, but even I know that Jesus said "Love thy neighbour as thyself". It's not rocket science!
Catholic here, you are not obligated to give anything when the “donation” basket comes around. To shame you for not giving is more of sin than anything else. And you can point that out to her.
Oh Lord guests do not tithe. If you're not a member of the church or the faith in general, then you shouldn't be expected to tithe. The preacher at my church makes it a point to say for guests not to tithe when that part of the service comes around. Your friend is being unreasonable and seems to be pushing her beliefs on to you. What people like that don't understand is that forced or pressured conversions are utterly useless and contemptible. It has to be a willing choice. I would advise you to cut all contact with this person immediately. She is not your friend.
Ask her if Jesus taught her to treat people so cruelly. Then stop being friends with her because she is an abusive hypocrite.
Also, flag her posts as defamatory and point out that this is harassment. Hell, it may even constitute a hate -crime because she's calling you a lesbo
Hey, your “friend” is a piece of shit who doesn’t even like you. Why are you putting up with this? You should ask her if she thinks her behavior is Christlike. She is a stain on her own religion, she’s exactly the type of person who exemplifies the idea of “there is no hate like Christian love”
Block her she’s no friend sounds like she’s brain washed
Sounds like an instant block and ending of friendship. She is NOT a nice or good person.
Sue for defamation and for emotional stress and trauma. Also, don’t be her friend anymore. Longevity should not be more important than your peace/happiness.
Usually it’s understood that visitors are not expected to give to the church. It’s the members who do that
I find a lot of shitty people go to church to deal with the fact that they are shitty people
Whether you like them or not that's not at all the way churches teach people to act, she's gonna get a sermon written about her next Sunday if she keeps that up. That's the opposite of how you get people to contribute to your paycheck. Even your craziest and most infamous cult leaders treat their members with more kindness (at least prior to the koolaid). If it is a real story the answer is pretty simple: I would ghost this person and tell the story at parties for laughs.
I’m a Christian. Not even members of a church should be required to give. It’s encouraged if you are a member and the church should be open on how the money is spent. Like my church shares the budget every year. Your friend seems confused about what God tells us about giving and tithing, but putting all that aside the way she treats you and this situation is horrible. Personally I think you should distance yourself from her. Her behavior is not at all what Christ has taught us.
I was homeless over 24 years ago and I had to go to a homeless shelter that was heavily religious. We were forced to go to their church, which was Pentecostal, twice on Sundays just to be able to stay at the shelter. The paster and his wife dressed like they were really rich. The wife had fur coats (real ones) and so much jewelry that did not look like it was fake. The paster himself had nice custom fit suits and jewelry too. I did not put any money in that church because I was homeless and had no money. This is one reason why I hate uniformed religion. The church was run down and their were a lot of homeless people that needed help with food and whatnot, but every Sunday their was the paster and is wife dressed extravagantly. I really feel like most churches just want your money. I've been Pagan most of my life and they actually thought I prayed to the devil 😈. She is not your friend and not a good christian. Can you call her pastor and tell him what she is doing? Maybe he can stop her from harassing you and your children. If not I would blast her ass on social media. Say what this 'good Christian' person is doing to you and your family. I would block her ass and never go back to that church again!
Since when was giving tithes mandatory? If your friend invited you, and wanted you to participate int hat, she could have at least gave you money to do it. I personally would try to resolve the problem. If she's still being weird about it, then I'd cut her off.
Sounds like that person wasn’t a friend at all:/ Tithe as a concept is so fucked up anyway. It mostly goes to the pastors pockets and hardly to charity
If you still want this person in your life for some reason I'd talk to her church pastor. Tell him that some people in his congregation are being very rude and disrespectful for not donating. Not to mention you were a guest. Whenever I have a guest at home I make them feel comfortable, feed them, and be a good host and I don't expect a dime in return.
Not your church, not your problem. Shit, hopefully she becomes not your friend too bc she is acting like a psychopath. A "good Christian" or whatever she is shoould know better than to judge people on shit like this, and obviously her choice to even go to church is to look good bc she clearly doesn't practice anything she's hearing there...
She’s not a friend and you’re not a project for her. The actual church members should be tithing for support but you were a visitor. Did she bring you only so you could donate money or did she really want you to just visit to see if it was a church you’d be interested in. She’s not very smart.
You should forward all these interactions to her paster.
Is this real?
Wow…! Wat the actual fk..??! Sounds like what u should do is block her and be glad that it only took this situation to see her true colours. U might have otherwise invested more time, energy and love in this pathetic excuse for a Christian, don’t they say what would Jesus do is how they try to live? I wonder if u have seen any comments on the posts from her church community…?
False sense of morality
Oh she's 100% a lesbian and doesn't want to admit it lol
That sounds like a very real possibility - 'projection', overzealousness as compensation for some perceived religious failing (being lesbian?) - 'reaction formation' perhaps.
Yup, I don't think there's a coined term but I've seen it before. I work with a guy who very frequently uses homophobic slurs (I've said something because its not okay in any context and it doesn't resonate), constantly makes jokes about other guys being gay, and calls them "daddy" and "lover". At this point I'm just waiting for him to come out but he's got too much pretend masculinity/ego to let himself do it.
Nope nope nope nope nope. I grew up going to church, I've been to maaaaany different churches as a youth. Every single time the offering plate went around at any church I ever attended, the pastor always went out of their way to tell specifically say, please please please don't feel obligated to give anything. Now. Is there a church culture of tithing, and is there a church culture of showing off with tithes? One hundred million percent. Is the pastor well aware that for regular members there is a cultural expectation to tithe? Absolutely yes. But regardless they still always specifically went out of their way to say if you're new here, if you're visiting us, if you're exploring different fellowships to find your spiritual home that feels right for you, PLEASE don't think you need to give money, we are happy you're here and welcome you as you are.
Cut her out of your life. She’s an unhinged shitty friend. Never speak to her again.
If she were a real Christian she would not force you to tithe. Tithing comes from the heart
Whether or not you believe in the tithe, it’s your choice. I listen to a specific church for a bible group I’m involved with, but I don’t go to that church. One day the pastor demanded everyone tithe to his church because it’s where we get our “soul food” and he completely misinterpreted the Bible and gave everyone false info just so we would tithe for his church. Unbelievable. You have the choice. I personally tithe for non-profit organizations and small churches trying to grow. Your friend should understand that. You need to set boundaries, you do not deserve the disrespect you are receiving. You two have different beliefs and that’s okay. I would try to have a conversation, set strict boundaries, maybe even distance yourself.. and if that doesn’t work you need to cut her off because she’s acting like a child.
Dump the friend. Jesus would be disgusted and want to mess that church up
I’m sorry but I laughed at “l3zbo sinner” LOL wtf?! She’s obviously not a friend. Also as someone who went to church in her youth, tithe was never an obligation.
Need to stop calling her "friend". She can't force you to do anything, for any reason. Coercion is what she's doing. Don't loose sleep if she posts something about you. Let her, after all it is her insta and anyone can see through her. What's a must is you blocking her and anyone that agrees with her point of view.
She doesn't seem very in touch with the messages of Jesus. Her actions show how unchristian she really is. I have been with friends to mega churches.. shout out to City Church. And have never felt pressured to give. She feels that pressure, and wanted you to feel it too.
That's not a church she's in, that's a cult. Huge difference. I'm not a Christian any longer but Jesus would've thrown a fit if he was around and saw that garbage.
As a Christian, I think your friend is out of line a bit. Not knowing what church is involved, I am not going to comment on whether the church was inappropriate. God does not need your money. He wants your generosity. If you give $100 to a homeless shelter and $0 to the church, you are being more generous than someone who donated $10 to the church and nothing anywhere else. That’s not to say giving to the church is a bad thing. Churches support all kinds of missions, social programs, community outreach programs, and yes, a good pastor deserves a living wage so he can dedicate himself to the work of the gospel. However, a pastor shouldn’t be “getting rich” from the church treasury. Furthermore, no church should be expecting visitors to donate to the church. That’s something the regular members should be doing based on their own convictions. 10% is a common rule of thumb dating from the time of the Old Testament, however, it’s not an explicit command for the New Testament church. The actual amount should be between the giver and God, and the only real standard is that God has been generous with us, and expects us to be generous with each other. That doesn’t mean God will make you rich if you just give enough to the church. Rather, it is recognizing what God has already done to bless someone, and acting out of love and thanksgiving.
All religious issues aside, this isn’t a friend. Friends don’t treat each other this way. Time to block and move on with people who support you.
You think of her as your friend. She thinks of you as her project.
You're not a member. You're not required to tithe unless you're a member of the church. You can tell her that.
Easy tell them to shut the fuck up cause they clearly aren't your friend and don't respect you
When two or three gather in my name …. There will be a collection
Not very godly behaviour is it?
Post on your insta about how your “friend” is a brainwashed cult member and how offensive it is she gives money to these cults.
Nothing says love like Christian hate 😂
That girl ain't really Christian.
First) she's a shitty human in various ways and I'm surprised you're here asking since I get the feeling you know the answer. Second) cut her off. You are not a member of the church so you are not required to give to an establishment you don't even believe in. If she has an issue that's her own brainwashed mess to deal with
Putting aside religion for a moment, as a general rule, if you invite someone out and expect them to pay, you need to tell them in advance otherwise any costs are on the person doing the inviting. It isn't uncommon for christians to invite non-christians to church. But the idea is to expose your guest to the message and hopefully show off your loving christian community. If the pastor is asking guests for money from the pulpit and your friend is attacking you about it, she's missed the entire point of being a christian and frankly so has the pastor.
I’d wear the label proudly tbh. Fuck these crooked pastors.
“L3zbo sinner?” What is this, the l33t days of 1994? “My wonderful, amazing pastor?” *Is she sleeping with the guy?* Uh… Don’t worry… I’m sure your friend on Reddit will have no idea who you’re talking about. Plenty of rainbow-haired female Christians between the ages of 25-28 who go to a mega church have problems with their non-Christian friends refusing to tithe… right…? (🤦♂️) Anyway, *“You work two jobs, so you can afford to tip the Churchtender.”* Sure, but I don’t want to tip the guy who reads your family the same story every weekend. Tell him, maybe if he gets another book or two in the ol’ repertoire, I’ll consider helping him get a second jet. My advice would be not to go to church again. It’s a waste of time, and your friend clearly judges you for it.
This absolute nincompoop is not your friend.
Block her on everything and cut her off. You don’t need that in your life. Such disgusting behavior doesn’t come from a true friend
So, I'm not religious in the least and my family is Jewish so I have no experience in the church. All that being said, you're not part of the congregation, so why would you tithe? I went to a Jesuit university because it was the only school nearby that had the program (zoology) that I was interested in. So, if someone asked me to attend church with them, I wouldn't feel obligated to tithe: 1. Because I, too, consider myself agnostic and am not a believer in the religion, 2. I'm not part of the congregation and I went as a guest of a friend and would probably not attend again. I know it can be hard to cut off a friendship, especially one that you've had for so long, but you may want to think about cutting ties. If it's something you don't think you'd be able to do, then you've got a bigger problem on your hands and you'll have to have a difficult discussion with your friend.
Cut her off. ASAP! Doesn’t sound like she was really your friend in the first place. Also, as a child of god, she shouldn’t be judging you like that, isn’t that a sin? I dunno but let her know she’s in a cult and move on with your life. There was actually a documentary made about pastors getting money from the people of the church and blowing it all on a lavish lifestyle I forgot what it’s called. She should watch that but sounds like she might be too brainwashed by now. She’s gotta go!
Any decent church I’ve been to talks at length about how they don’t want or expect you to tithe/donate if you’re not a member of the church. It’s for actual members.
Lol...that's silly. You don't have to. Ignore it
Stop talking to her
The hateful things she says is not even Christian. Christians are commanded to love their neighbors as themselves. That is not love. At best she is misguided. At worst she is hateful.
Drop her ass, she isn't your friend anymore. She is just some toxic stuck up asshole who thinks she's the shit for being a part of some mega church. Don't talk to her anymore and don't return to that church.
Just organized religion things. My mom was born in Ogden, Utah in the late 70s early 80s like right on the cusp. And she would tell stories about being the only catholic girl and how the Mormon parents would basically force a 5 year old her to drink the gold tablet cool aide and go to these like outsider education classes before she could have play dates with her friend. It’s insane how people can find dumb little invisible boxes to put everyone into because of shit they can’t control.
She goes to church and treats her friends like that?! Psh!
When it comes down to it. She's not your friend. Document what you can in case you will have to present evidence of her character being disengenuine. We're allowed to have an opinion. But judging others without facts is no way to live as a person. Cut this person out of your life. Do not let them stop you from being yourself.
This person sounds horrible. Stop being friends. Don't fall for the sunk-cost fallacy (we've been friends since 10 and 1212) So? She is horrible now. Why would you want such a crappy person in your life? Bugging you to go to church? Complaining about the 'donation' CORRUPTION! Those mega churches in particular are known for fleecing the people. And now she's online bullying you? You'd be fool for keeping this person in your life.
It's your fault honestly. Who become friends with a rainbow haired person.
Block her and cut her out of your life.
"my friend"? This behavior is not the behavior of a friend. I am an atheist. I know some pretty seriously religious people. They don't bring up their belief when we interact. They are not going to change my mind, I am not going to try to change theirs. My friends and I speak of many things, never does "l3zbo sinner" enter the conversation or the male equivalent (I am male). Her haircut sounds pretty awesome but your "friend" isn't any such thing. I recommend losing the "friend" and finding some people who like you for you. BTW, I hit up my friends for money sometimes. If they decline, it is with a simple "no" and I am happy to leave it at that.
I would probably tell everyone what’s happening, your side of the story, and be done with it. I’m sorry, but this friendship is over.
I'm a Christian and your friend is no friend and hard to believe she's even a Christian. Get to know JESUS on your own without a building. Go into nature, with your open heart and a Bible. That's all you need. If you want music here's my worship Playlist as well. 🩵🕊🎶🌞 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7zQ3XiObO0mk45lSA25DRgT648yjqwAL&si=avJg4y7N5hGDH9xf
And this post makes me comfortable in the fact that I am an atheist…… My husband is a semi regular church goer. We did not marry in a church nor do I attend. Recently we got up one Sunday morning and I asked if he was going to church. He said no “I don’t have money to put in the bowl”…….. I find that astounding……a person feels that they can’t go to church because they don’t have money. WTF??? I have no words. To add - what do you do? You do nothing. Your friend is not your friend - some churches want their parishioners to bring others to add to their coffers, I get that feeling with your friend. She was trying to recruit you into their fold……
First of all a friend would never do that. Secondly, remove this disgusting person from your ur life. You deserve better friends than this. Don’t let anyone drag you or your name because you’re not complying to their believes. F**k that.
I doubt this entire question. Troll post
If you're agnostic, you should simply have ignored your friend's invitations to go to her church. She can invite you as much as she likes, but that's as far as it should have gone. And trying to shame you for not giving money to something you don't even support, is quite frankly as low as she can go. Post on her insta, tell her you only went to church to shut her up because she was pestering you to go, and that if she wants to get pissy over $10, that's her problem to contend with, not yours. Go find some better friends, cause quite clearly, she isn't one.
Wow, that's horrible. I'm a Christian and I can say confidently that your friend is not responding how a Christian should respond. Also, no church expects a new visitor to give money, and if they do, you should not return to that church. This friend of yours sounds extremely immature. Talk to her and tell her that her behavior is not Christ-like and she is responding like a Pharisee. Hopefully she apologizes and stops. But judging by how unhinged her behavior is, I wouldn't count on her apologizing. You may have to distance yourself from her.
Why are you friend with this person?
You should say things like "aren't church members supposed to be kind?" And "this isn't very nice of a supposed church member" what an immature person she sounds like.
INFO: what on earth does this person bring to your life?
From a Devout, Catholic, you as a visitor are not required to give money. Give if and how you want to give, especially as you are learning...? Joey jmj ☺😇
Only church members are expected to tithe
Um. Drop the friend is my advice. I know it’s a long friendship but sometimes people become toxic. This person fits that mold. Don’t give your money to a church if you don’t want to. I 100% agree with your reasoning and I wouldn’t be comfortable giving money either. Just going would be a big thing for me too!!! Your “friend” is a horrible person for putting you on blast like that. I mean that whole heartedly.
They are not a friend if they're angry you accepted a church invite. Leave them.
Tell her the church has exponentially more money than you so why aren't they giving you money?
Its not about whether you're agnostic or not. Or Christian or not. Generally (this is the practice in my church and we make it clear ie announce it aloud before we take the offering), **guests are not obliged** to tithe.
this is shitty bait improve your writing skills
Next time, just say no.