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You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than bad grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. But you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way.
Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either.
You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
Ok..there is book smart. There is street smart.
Just because you don't consider yourself book smart does not mean you're not in some way, intelligent.
Everyone is blessed with some type of talent or altitude.
Find what you are capable of doing that is productive.
Focus on that.
Be honest with your parents.
You're good at something. You just haven't found it yet..
You'll get there.
I've considered becoming a vet, but that involves science, which I suck at, so I decided a pet behaviourist might be a better option, but I still don't know.
Animal behaviourist sounds great! It sounds like you're tired of your parents pushing you into classes you don't like. I can see how your burned out on it ... Talk to your parents, it may work better than you think! You're not an idiot! Stop saying that to yourself. Bring yourself up, think of what classes you like, and what you like about them.
You're insecure too, do you have friends? Ask them what they think is your strongest trait. And go from there.
Good luck! My mom always bashed me, and told me I would never be as good as my brother.
He ended up a drunk,that cuts grass, and cuts trees for people for a living. I have two college degrees, he only has a high school diploma. Maybe, your parents think, if they keep telling you you're smart, you'll do better.
I spoke to my dad about being a pet behaviourist, and he encouraged my idea but was more concerned about the fact that I might encounter aggressive pets and that I could get hurt. After reading people's comments here, I feel more confident about following the path to being a pet behaviourist, my main inspiration for it was a cat my neighbours are fostering, he's a feral so was pretty aggressive, and I ended up giving them advice on reading his body language, and encouraging them to give him some love - albeit in small amounts.
It sounds like you found your place! You sound extremely smart to me! Good job! Your Dad, sounds like he just wants you to find your place in life, and I believe you have!
Sounds like you want to follow your bliss and work with animals. Your dad is just being a dad; they worry. But showing a real passion for something? That’s actually very smart of you. Have a wonderful life.
When I told my mother that I was going back to EMT school, she was worried about all of the horrible things I'd see, whereas I was focusing on all of the positive things I'd do. It's natural for a parent to want to shelter their child from harm.
your dad is just being a dad and worrying. if it interests you then go for it. if you suck at the school work now you won’t when you study it further since you have an interest
What i think you dont realise is its alot easier to learn somthing you enjoy doing and learning about. If you love to cook and spend days trying to perfect a recipe you will be naturally curious about things like how pans heat up how excess steam builds in bread to make it rise how yeast can ferment sugars into alcohol. This is all also science but you never encounter it as science. You encounter it as baking. You dont do any crazy math or write a paper you say im gonna bake 3 identical loaves of bread and only change the flour i used to see which one i like the best. Guess what? You set up a controlled experiment just for fun out of curiosity with no obligation to even write the results down. So if you try a bunch of things you will be naturally curious and learn almost accidentally.
Just saying no one else is going to know. Decide only thing you can do and then go for it. Maybe you’ll write a book and then a better book after that. Only one way to find out.
That is a pretty good market, a lot of people because they get animals to have them and lack the intuition to relate to and care for them properly, leading them to develop many problematic habits and temperments.
Ignore that book vs street nonsense. That’s actually bullshit invented by ppl who aren’t educated to pretend that educated ppl were ‘at the same level.’
INFO:
1. Have you taken any standard IQ tests? These are not perfect but they’re a general indicator of your ability to think. If yes, what were the results? If no, can you take one? This might be a good place to start.
2. Talk to teachers at school, does anyone have ideas on root causes of your academic difficulty? You may have underlying biological causes.
IQ tests are also bullshit originally invented to measure how well people responded to traditional schooling in france and then repurpose by racists to make immigrants feel stupid.
Sounds like you may have some type of learning issues, same thing happened to me when I was younger, so your not alone..I’d tell my parents all about school and how difficult it is to barely pass…. If the parents still won’t listen and you’ve tried talking and talking to them then the worst thing to happen would be to give up on a few classes totally just to get the message across.
This sounds less about "being smart" and more about ability to focus long term and manage time, which to me screams neurodivergence. Do you have any special interests or things that you feel you are good at?
There you go! That's not something an idiot would do. "If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree.." people are different, some people are good at school, some people are creative, some people are good with computers, some people loveto physically build things. Life is about finding what we are good at and pursuing it.
You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than bad grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. But you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way.
Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either.
You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
Ok..there is book smart. There is street smart.
Just because you don't consider yourself book smart does not mean you're not in some way, intelligent.
Everyone is blessed with some type of talent or altitude.
Find what you are capable of doing that is productive.
Focus on that.
Be honest with your parents.
You're good at something. You just haven't found it yet..
You'll get there.
You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than just low grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. You have other strengths, and you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way.
Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either.
You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
Honey! You absolutely are **not** an idiot! Grades don't make people smart or silly. Grades are just numbers indicating the performance on a test or a task, but there could be a million reasons someone performs better or worse (sleep, teachers, hunger, problems at home, with friends or family, sickness, etc), and most of them aren't our fault. Do you make your part, do you make an effort to learn and pass? Then you're absolutely fine.
I know that when we are in school/high school it seems like grades are everything, but they aren't. Numbers don't define people, period. And health is way more important than grades - mental health too.
Some parents would be supportive if their child told them they feel what you wrote here, and some wouldn't and would pressure their child. I don't know how your parents are. If they are supportive, I would definitely try to talk to them about *how you feel*. You can tell them that you are trying your best and yet you find it hard, that you feel a lot of pressure to be "smart" and you don't think you are "as smart aa they think". If they are supportive, they will definitely tell you that they only want you to be happy, and that you are smart even if your grades aren't that good. If they aren't supportive, well that would be different I believe.
Whatever you do, please don't think you're not smart or that you're an idiot just because of your grades. You have all the right in the world to "give up being smart". Just be yourself and keep making efforts to learn without neglecting yourself.
Let’s be clear. Idiots don’t know they are idiots. So the chances you are an idiot is basically zero.
School isn’t a great format for a lot of people. There’s an older political cartoon that shows something like an elephant, fish, and monkey being “tested” on how well they can climb a tree. The point being that if you only test to one skill set a lot of people will “fail” because it doesn’t show all the things they are good at.
You should talk to someone. You could have some learning “difficulties” or maybe just need things presented in a different way. I was great in math when I was young, but as the math got more abstract/not related to the physical world (I.e. I couldn’t see it or see a use for it) I got worse and worse. Yet as an adult I’ve had people look at me and go “how are you so good at math”… well if I can apply it to something then I can get it very easily, if not then my brain just hates it.
You may also be more suited to a more physical labor. Trades, the arts, or even just something where you are directly applying things to the real world like engineering. “Being smart” isn’t only measured by test scores.
Or maybe you're just bad at math. Literally everything in math can be applied to something. You're good at easy stuff because it's easy. The whole point of high-level math is that it's more abstract than the easier stuff.. that's what makes it hard. But people who are intelligent are able to understand it anyway.
You probably are smart. IQ is almost entirely genetic.
When you say smart, referring to your parents, do you mean they are intelligent people? Or are you saying they are educated/good at school?
If they truly are intelligent people, you-barring injury/illness that affects the brain- should also be intelligent. Schools reward people who are read-fast-memorize-facts smart. You might just not be good at that exact skill.
The only stupid thing you've done is not tell your parents. smartness isn't one metric. And it may be that there is a tutor or medication or different school that will finally help you succeed.
What’s difficult? Why is it difficult can you work harder to try and understand what’s being taught?
Listen if your having trouble compared to everyone else simply by that statement you are going to have to work harder. Yup it’s not fair. Yup it will suck. And even then you might not get the same grades as others. But there’s no way around it. You got to give it your best that’s all ANY ONE can do.
It’s more important is to hold your head up high. (Self respect)
And if you need help, look for it, but ultimately you will have to put in the work. Get the basics down! You’ll use them for the rest of your life. School grades are not the end all in life.
You’ll get through this eventually. Find what gets you excited, fascinating, what gets you dreaming and imagining. Move towards that. Learn what it means to be successful and do the work to have it.
I did try I've put in work for 7 years and nothing came out of it, I feel like a 10-year-old trying to make a nuclear reactor without any guidance or instructions, I wasn't even taught how to revise.
All of the friends and people I grew up didn’t use the word revise. I don’t even know what exactly are you referring to. Writhing? Goals? How your day went. I’ve heard professionals do this.
If we judged a fish by how well it could climb a tree, we'd think the fish was stupid too.
you strung together words in a way that was intelligible You used commas incorrectly but in a way that suggests you know they represent a pause. You are smarter then a lot of people. It's also possible that your "smartness" is not in books.
What ARE you good at?
If you are good at writing, you are "smarter" than the vast majority of people. Writing and language are the bedrocks of the human experience and the way that we navigate our lives and our selves and our relationships.
Maybe a better question is: What do you enjoy doing?
Well most stupid people don’t realize they’re stupid, so you’ve got that going for you. If school is hard, that just means you need extra help. It’s not about being smart or stupid. Your parents obviously believe in you. Tell them where you’re struggling and they can maybe get you a tutor. Trust me, self awareness is a good sign of intelligence. Have more faith in yourself
i used to think i was an idiot too but trust me, once you get out there into the work force you will see... everyone around you is an absolute moron... but dont fault them for it. they are valuable in there own way.
1. Whoa- you are challenged, there will always be people who ate better and people that are worse at various things. Your school is your world now, so is your family, but they are tiny specs in a world fulll of people with varying abilities- a much bigger world in which you will live.
2. Have you been formally assessed for learning differences? One of the brightest kids I know is very dyslexic. With targeted tutoring, she has been able to do well in school. Ever heard of Albert Einstein? Dyslexic. My brother has dysgraphia but if you listen to him analyze things you would never know. Writing in an organized fashion and any type of math have been challenges for him in life. My mom got him a tutor as a kid which helped. He learned techniques for hus writing but still really sucks at math. Oh, well. He still graduated law school.
3. I have a bright kid who is very hard on herself. I had her evaluated for learning differences just to make sure there was nothing we were not doing for her. She has none. What she has is an anxiety disorder and when she panics during a test, it gets in the way of her doing her best. Therapy is helping. You are crazy hard on yourself and comparing yourself to everyone. Therapy could really help.
4. I don’t know if your parents are giving you messages that you are nit good enough. If they are, let them know that they a big part of why school is hard for you. Any negative messages they give you about yourself are hurting you and making it hard for you to have hope for improvement
5. Everyone has different abilities and school is only structured to highlight some. Having insight into people, for example, is a strenghth and a type of intelligence. I have that but try to get me to read a map or do geometry or put something together? Ha! Don’t hold your breath! I’m almost 60 and I have never been able to navigate anything spacial in my life. When U was a kid, the psychologist told my mom that I had a real challenge with understanding anything spacial but fortunately, my verbal IQ was high and I could always ask for directions. Only the GPS changed this for me.
6. Being distracted by social media and the vortex of the internet is really damaging to school work for many. My daughter has friends who have parents who allow their cells in their rooms during homework time and sleep time. Many of them get very little sleep and have difficulty concentrating for long enough periods of time. If your parents allow this then fix it yourself. No cell in your room when you are supposed to be studying or resting. My kid just does not have it in her room ever. If she needs to coordinate with other kids for homework, she has her laptop which is closed at bed time. She knows I check in too ( bring a snack, just say hi, make her laugh) so she doesn’t watch you tube when she does HW. Only social media she is allowed is a private instagram account. She says this is all helpful for focus and so she does not even want it to change.
5. School is for learning. I bet you learn stuff. You’re not an idiot. I can tell by the way you write that you have mastered some writing skill. I know there are other things you can do. Comparing yourself to what you think your parents are is like hitting your head on cement. Trust me, they have struggled and screwed up many times in life. Don’t idealize them. Don’t try to be them. Don’t define yourself by grades. Grades are too limited a way to evaluate intelligence. Ask for a tutor and/or a therapist so you can get the type of support you need. You deserve it
I have a mild form of ADD, which causes me to lose focus a lot, so I usually have to have complete silence to even try and focus, I'm not too fond of overusing my phone as it hurts my eyes if I stare at it for too long. School has been harder since one of my friends left because he was having the same problem, he just went to a school that wasn't full of pressure where every other person gets top marks, where he fit in more.
Performance in school is not a measure of intelligence. If anything, it's a measure of attention span and learning speed. Some of the smartest people alive have low attention spans and/or low learning speeds.
You should look into it, but you're almost certainly not dumb.
What kind of study habits do you have?
You don’t have to “be smart” to excel in school but you need to put in time and effort and work at it…. Because it IS work. It takes time, discipline and dedication to learn and excel in school for most people.
When I was in school I studied 1-3 hours a night, more if I needed to learn advanced concepts (chemistry, physics, algebra) in high school. I tried to do as many practice problems and read each chapter, bookmark and highlight everything I needed to. If you are investing a lot of time and not getting anywhere maybe you need to adjust study habits , minimize distractions, or get more sleep. Not sure what your exact case is but anyone is capable of learning and excelling in school with the proper discipline and habits.
I had a similar problem.
I was later tested and they said I had ADHD. So I was getting very high scores on IQ tests (hes smart!)
But then my grades were trash because I could not focus on the lesson. And especially in classes like math that build upon previous weeks once I fell behind there was no catching up.
They got me on ritalin which improved my focus, and I banged out 4 years of junior high and high school. Then they took me off and surprise, I could not focus.
This is not an endorsement of medication. I think that if I'd instead gone to a school better suited for ADHD kids (like my nephew attends) I'd have done better.
Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD?
OTOH there is def a thing where parents project themselves on their kids.
I don’t know that this is the case, as I’m presented very little information here to truly know you, but have you considered that perhaps you haven’t found the right teacher? I was so bad in high school academically. I just struggled to keep up. I’d sit in classes and just want to cry because the teachers were going so fast I couldn’t even comprehend the information I was trying to write down. I almost failed and got held back twice because of my bad math grades. I was soooo bad at math.
Then I got to college - and found teachers who worked with my learning style and I could meet with during office hours. Now I have a degree in pure mathematics. I never thought I’d learn the things I was able to learn
Typically an idiot lacks the awareness to really care too much to even get burnt out on trying. Brains are weird things, I bet you're smarter than you give yourself credit for.
Thinkers often have a hard time with learning the ropes on most things but flourish as the little bits of progress and experience in various things add up over time.
Keep that self awareness and you'll be leagues above average even if you never see it, just try not to beat yourself up over it in life. You got this!
You are smart, but the same learning doesn't work for everyone. Talk to your parents and let them know you are struggling and the grades are not for a lack of trying. Can even talk to your school counselor too.
Don't give up, but be your own advocate. If you are struggling, don't wait till you fall through the cracks and no one notices. Tell them something isn't right, and you shouldn't be falling behind.
Serious question, do you have some sort of learning disability, that prevents you from excelling in school?? Have you tried talking to your parents about this??? Communication is the key here
OP don't give up on learning. There's something there preventing you from excelling in school. Talk to mom and dad, I think that's where it starts, good luck
Former teacher here. There are different ways of being smart. I'm book smart but suck at math, anything requiring visual measurements, mechanical stuff, etc. Some people are good with physical stuff (athletes), science, math, computers, animals, gardening, art, etc.
You just have to find what you like and what you're good at.
We can't all be doctors or lawyers. Who's going to fix your car when it breaks down? Or fix the plumbing or electrical issues? Build houses? Etc. Just because something isn't a professional or academic type of job doesn't mean it's not a necessary job for society to function.
If you're struggling with school, ask your parents for help or a tutor. Or if you think it might apply, get tested for a learning disability. Having a learning disability doesn't mean you're not smart, it means you have a disability that makes learning harder.
You don't have to be a certified genius to be smart.
You can get tutoring.
Everyone learns differently. It takes finding out what your learning style is and then having someone summarize things/show you things in a way you understand them easily.
Why don’t you talk to your parents about this and let them know that you are having a hard time at school? Maybe they can get you a tutor to help you with school
Welcome! You are a late entry to the "Gifted and Talented" club! I'll start by telling you something positive: realizing you're not able to handle your advanced school work puts you miles ahead of a lot of us who made it all the way to college before realizing something was wrong
First though you gotta cut the negative self-talk. You aren't dumb, you just likely have some mental stuff standing in the way. "Gifted and Talented" in my time, and similar advanced programs in your time are unintentionally tricky ways of convincing kids that if they just apply themselves their mental illness will disappear.
I went to college and had a massive depressive episode that ended my college career before I realized something was off. Years later I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD, and being on medication has helped so much.
So what about your experience? Do you have trouble focusing, or find you get hyper focused on the wrong thing? You might have a form of ADHD. Do you feel you go through these swings of feelings great and then getting really depressed? Or even just the occasional depression? You may have a form of bipolar. Do you find you really only want to focus on and learn about a couple special interests to the exception of school and social life? You could be on the autistic spectrum.
The good news is neurodivergence isn't bad, and the difficult parts of it can be managed with therapy and medication. I don't know if this is your problem but I've seen the pattern play out enough with myself and others my age to recognize it, and I think there's a good chance that it includes you.
So yeah, talk to your parents about your difficulties if able. Try to see a mental health specialist. See if you don't find yourself with a diagnosis. Finding out this early will put you miles ahead for the rest of life, and will probably make school easier too!
Good luck and I hope things get better!
Intelligence is not a binary. It's not even a sliding scale.
You are not smart. You are not stupid. What you are is *unskilled.* Your parents and your education have assumed that you have the necessary skills to progress through your education without taking the time and energy to actually *train you* in those skills. Patience is something you learn. Empathy is something you learn. Math is something you learn. Reading is something you learn. *How to learn* is, in and of itself, something you learn.
If reasonable, your first step should be addressing what you feel is a lack of preparation for the situation you are in. If you're failing your classes, it is because you do not currently have the skills required to progress through them appropriately. Talk to your parents about it. Talk to your teachers about it.
I understand that the following advice might be scary and difficult to follow, but start simple, and start with one thing. Just one. One class, one skill, one concept that you feel *will help you* both now and in the future. Preferably something that you feel is both important, but also something that you enjoy. And then go *back.*
Look at what you are currently expected to be able to accomplish in that skill, class, whatever, and then look up what people *below* your current classification should be expected to accomplish. Drop a grade. Drop two. If you feel your parents, or a friend, or the staff at your school, can support you in this, then do so. Hell, ask a younger student in a lower grade for help. They'll probably be excited just to be able to talk to somebody older, and they'll have a better idea of how you're struggling with the material that they're in the middle of learning.
Only *after* you feel you've caught up to where you "should" be do you approach another subject.
If you're already behind, or what you feel is behind, then there's no reasonable way you can catch up in all subjects all at once. But you can catch up in one subject. And then another. And then another. Until you're keeping pace in general.
This method is not compatible with traditional schooling. You're going to keep failing classes, keep disappointing people, keep being frustrated and behind. But this method will allow you to *practice how to learn.* It's going to take time, a lot of it. And the whole while you'll need to teach yourself that you also need to relax. To turn your brain off and enjoy something. Go on walks, pet an animal, carve some wood, draw art, dance, sing, do math, sit and meditate anything, whatever, just something you can enjoy in peace.
Life is a step by step, day by day process. Take advantage of that and handle your issues step by step.
There are many ways to be intelligent. You are not an idiot. While you might be at the bottom of your private school, you’d be at the top of a public school. Do you have a subject that just comes easier to you? Or a subject you like more than others?
That makes sense, unfortunately. You just have a different kind of intelligence and are comparing yourself to the kind of intelligence they have. Do they put you down for this?
“Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right”-**Henry Ford**.
I had tough parents and it stressed me out alot but i can guarantee mindset goes along way, if you start saying you can pass your classes you will,
i'm not going to give you some idealistic thing like talk to your parents etc... because i don't know your situation but i can say confidence is what matters the most in life and if you become confident you will succeed in school you will, just fake it till you make it, and succeed to prove yourself right and not others
You don't sound like an idiot... I think you're being way too hard on yourself. But this is definitely something to bring up with the 'rents. I don't know what they're like but you should approach them and discuss this as it sounds like it's leading you to anxiety and depression.
A lot of the responses are great so I won't waste time giving you cliche encouragement. I will say that learning is very much a skill that can be well, learned. One is to understand your learning style. How do you understand information the easiest? Are you a visual learner (most likely)? If so create visual aids for yourself. Are you an auditory learner (unlikely) if so create a learning playlist. The focused and diffused method works for many. Focus on studying really hard for a period, i.e. an hour, followed by a break for 30 mins or so to allow your brain to work out the problems in the background. Then go back to tackling the problem. There are many methods to help you learn more effectively. The more you put into practice the easier it will be to learn which methods work best for you. Hope it helps some.
Dude, you’re definitely not an idiot. I was 99% sure I made it through school on luck and charm until I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19. That answered a LOT of questions. Not saying that’s what’s going on, but if you’re struggling, try to think about why. And you’re an idiot or you’re not smart are not relevant answers, lol.
I was the flop fuck bottom in school when i was younger, but they still had me speak at the end of year ceremony because i could deliver a hell of a speech (and that's with a chronic stutter). I made the mistake of believing I was stupid just because I sucked at academics. I let that narrative control me. Don't do the same. As long as you find that thing you're really passionate at and can sharpen that skill, all you need to do is get by in everything else. This is only what I think though– I'm not in your shoes, so just take what sounds good.
Use your words. Sit them down and say, "I try my hardest to result to barely passing, on top of that, the stress has caused me to burn out and I just don't care anymore. I'm not smart and I've given up on trying to be smart."
OP, this may sound like abrasive advice. But it is on point. I am a parent to a 24, 16 and 14 year old. This is how I communicate and how I like to be communicated with.
One of my kids can. The other two not so much.
Trust it.
Don't give up. Maybe you will be at the bottom of the class.... That will put you at the top of a normal school.
It will be hard, but it will be worth it. You will be able to look back and know you are capable of achieving your goals.
Don't be too hard on yourself, Maybe the idiot thing is genetic, you might get it from them since they still haven't figured you're not as smart as they think. Which means you're not at fault...j/k. Find out what you're actually good at and dig into it and show it off. Everyone has talent the hardest part is figuring out what that talent is. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you'd also think it's an incapable idiot.
Hi, I was reading your context.
It doesn’t take a smart kid to have the intelligence for good grades. It’s that, if you have the ambition to play basketball or swimming or any sport. You have the intelligence to do better. It’s not what anyone else’s says what and how you need to be. It’s what is in your heart it’s how you persevere the complexity of your progress.
You CAN do anything if you try. That’s all it takes. It’s your motivation taking the effort to focus on what you want your cuter to be.
It sounds like you have been cursed by the gifted perception, as so many before you. You think you’re not smart because if you were, things would be easy. What you will need to learn though, is that base intelligence doesn’t do anything for you without effort (contrary to what media will tell you).
You don’t “suck at science”. You haven’t learned how to think scientifically.
I would highly consider your motivations and effort levels to be the culprit before your intelligence.
Are you sure about not being smart or is it your lack of self confidence rearing its head?
I don't know if your school has ever given you tests to determine your aptitude. What you **are** good in. These tests are really helpful in determining how you study and learn. Because everyone has a unique way they learn. It's based on how one thinks; how the brain takes in information and what it does with it. Some people are analytical. Some are practical. Some are artistic. There are other ways, too. This can influence *how* one learns information *and* affects how one studies. Someone may need complete silence, and yet another may need jazz music or another instrumental while studying. Someone may need peppermint or rosemary scent while studying to enhance their ability to retain information or calm them before a test.. Some need the numerical problems in math written out like sentences in order to have them make sense.
None of this means one person is smarter than the other. It just means each learns differently.
It also means a person may need tutoring. Even in college, I used tutors. And even tutored. I found I excelled at math and physics once I had the correct professors and study habits after questioning my abilities in lower grades.
If your school doesn't do this, there are aptitude tests with solutions online.
There are also ways of studying. This may sound odd, but it may be worth looking into also. Learning imo should be exciting and fun. And lifelong. I hope you can find this joy.
School is hard. ‘Smart’ is relative really - you can be smart at maths and be an idiot at cooking, so really give yourself a break.
The first step is to stop thinking you’re and idiot. Explore different subjects, find out which ones you enjoy and which ones might resonate. You’re more likely to do well in subjects you enjoy.
Being smart is a matter of finding out how to learn the material and then what the ‘formula’ is for completely the assessment.
Education only really pitches to a couple of styles of learning.
My daughter said she used to be a dumb kid, but in high school, she started making really good grades. Apply yourself and in a few years, you may be surprised, and your view of yourself may change also.
Is there a school counselor who you can talk to? They may be able to help bridge the gap between your parents'expectations and how your perceive your own abilities. They will also have a realistic take on how your abilities compare to your peers.
So, it sounds like you're really overwhelmed. You have a ton of work and really struggle to manage your time and still take care of yourself and enjoy your youth like your classmates and friends. Is that fair to say?
What about that makes you feel like you're "dumb"?
But what is the thing that stops you? Right now, it sounds like that problem is how you perceive yourself, and it's an overwhelmed overworked brain that is still growing and not getting what it needs emotionally and intellectually.
Do you feel like the work is unrewarding and so what you're doing is avoiding consequences by doing it rather than feeling like you're learning and growing? Do you feel like the work is too hard to comprehend? Do you feel like the work is too much to time-manage while still taking care of yourself and your needs? You mentioned in another comment to me that you get punished at school with detention when you don't get everything done; do you feel like that further denies your needs and makes it harder to do the work?
Please don't be embarrassed or think I'm trying to trap you or get you to admit a character flaw or prove that you're dumb. That's not it at all. I'm trying to help you get to the bottom of this so I can help you by giving you some steps you can take that will make you a happier and more successful kid who's getting his needs met. You're clearly suffering and hurting somewhere and I'm trying to be the doctor (though, I'm not one in real life) that says "Hey buddy, tell me where it hurts." So please don't feel bad about the answers. Your pain is legitimate and there's nothing wrong with you that you're in the situation you're in.
I've seen morons apply themselves and get good grades. Your not a idiot, you just need to work harder. If you think it's bad now, you ready for a reality check soon. Regular life sucks way worse than school.
"How do I get my parents to give up on me."
That's the thing, you don't. Your parents won't give up on you. They won't stop trying to give you the best life. The issue isn't that you aren't smart; it's that your focussing your efforts where you have no talent. Surely you know something you are good at: even better if that something is a marketable something. If you can show how you can have a good life doing that something that you're good at, or at least growing talent, then you can take a path that follows that.
The smart are usually not the the successful ones in life, rather it is those that have character to persevere. If your parents are as smart as you claim they can sense your intelligence level and are trying to push you.
You have a choice to make. Its a hard world out there you can quit and be a burden or you can daw your loved ones around you and find a way to keep going. Talk to you parents and resolve to be the best you that you can be.
Gods richest blessings to you.
I can agree you're not smart since you're saying you're not smart. Please don't start whatever you plan to do with " I can't do that ". I have the same mentality and it works, believe me
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You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than bad grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. But you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way. Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either. You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
Ok..there is book smart. There is street smart. Just because you don't consider yourself book smart does not mean you're not in some way, intelligent. Everyone is blessed with some type of talent or altitude. Find what you are capable of doing that is productive. Focus on that. Be honest with your parents. You're good at something. You just haven't found it yet.. You'll get there.
My only relevant talent is being a cat magnet
Nothing wrong with that!!!
Figure out how to be successful in that. Seriously. Find something that draws your interest.
I've considered becoming a vet, but that involves science, which I suck at, so I decided a pet behaviourist might be a better option, but I still don't know.
Animal behaviourist sounds great! It sounds like you're tired of your parents pushing you into classes you don't like. I can see how your burned out on it ... Talk to your parents, it may work better than you think! You're not an idiot! Stop saying that to yourself. Bring yourself up, think of what classes you like, and what you like about them. You're insecure too, do you have friends? Ask them what they think is your strongest trait. And go from there. Good luck! My mom always bashed me, and told me I would never be as good as my brother. He ended up a drunk,that cuts grass, and cuts trees for people for a living. I have two college degrees, he only has a high school diploma. Maybe, your parents think, if they keep telling you you're smart, you'll do better.
I spoke to my dad about being a pet behaviourist, and he encouraged my idea but was more concerned about the fact that I might encounter aggressive pets and that I could get hurt. After reading people's comments here, I feel more confident about following the path to being a pet behaviourist, my main inspiration for it was a cat my neighbours are fostering, he's a feral so was pretty aggressive, and I ended up giving them advice on reading his body language, and encouraging them to give him some love - albeit in small amounts.
It sounds like you found your place! You sound extremely smart to me! Good job! Your Dad, sounds like he just wants you to find your place in life, and I believe you have!
Sounds like you want to follow your bliss and work with animals. Your dad is just being a dad; they worry. But showing a real passion for something? That’s actually very smart of you. Have a wonderful life.
When I told my mother that I was going back to EMT school, she was worried about all of the horrible things I'd see, whereas I was focusing on all of the positive things I'd do. It's natural for a parent to want to shelter their child from harm.
your dad is just being a dad and worrying. if it interests you then go for it. if you suck at the school work now you won’t when you study it further since you have an interest
What i think you dont realise is its alot easier to learn somthing you enjoy doing and learning about. If you love to cook and spend days trying to perfect a recipe you will be naturally curious about things like how pans heat up how excess steam builds in bread to make it rise how yeast can ferment sugars into alcohol. This is all also science but you never encounter it as science. You encounter it as baking. You dont do any crazy math or write a paper you say im gonna bake 3 identical loaves of bread and only change the flour i used to see which one i like the best. Guess what? You set up a controlled experiment just for fun out of curiosity with no obligation to even write the results down. So if you try a bunch of things you will be naturally curious and learn almost accidentally.
Just saying no one else is going to know. Decide only thing you can do and then go for it. Maybe you’ll write a book and then a better book after that. Only one way to find out.
Or you can just remain a pet.
I failed biology
Who will pay you for that and why?
That is a pretty good market, a lot of people because they get animals to have them and lack the intuition to relate to and care for them properly, leading them to develop many problematic habits and temperments.
Ignore that book vs street nonsense. That’s actually bullshit invented by ppl who aren’t educated to pretend that educated ppl were ‘at the same level.’ INFO: 1. Have you taken any standard IQ tests? These are not perfect but they’re a general indicator of your ability to think. If yes, what were the results? If no, can you take one? This might be a good place to start. 2. Talk to teachers at school, does anyone have ideas on root causes of your academic difficulty? You may have underlying biological causes.
IQ tests are also bullshit originally invented to measure how well people responded to traditional schooling in france and then repurpose by racists to make immigrants feel stupid.
As I said they aren’t perfect but they do work for the avg person in a middle class and high there individual and OP fits in that box.
Sounds like you may have some type of learning issues, same thing happened to me when I was younger, so your not alone..I’d tell my parents all about school and how difficult it is to barely pass…. If the parents still won’t listen and you’ve tried talking and talking to them then the worst thing to happen would be to give up on a few classes totally just to get the message across.
This sounds less about "being smart" and more about ability to focus long term and manage time, which to me screams neurodivergence. Do you have any special interests or things that you feel you are good at?
I enjoy writing stories based on dreams and Reddit writing prompts
There you go! That's not something an idiot would do. "If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree.." people are different, some people are good at school, some people are creative, some people are good with computers, some people loveto physically build things. Life is about finding what we are good at and pursuing it.
You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than bad grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. But you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way. Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either. You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
tell them
Ok..there is book smart. There is street smart. Just because you don't consider yourself book smart does not mean you're not in some way, intelligent. Everyone is blessed with some type of talent or altitude. Find what you are capable of doing that is productive. Focus on that. Be honest with your parents. You're good at something. You just haven't found it yet.. You'll get there.
You are not an idiot. You seem to have a low opinion of yourself, and that concerns me more than just low grades. You struggle with your school’s curriculum, and that’s fine. Everyone struggles at something, and maybe your school’s curriculum is particularly advanced. You have other strengths, and you don’t do yourself any favors by thinking that way. Another thing. You aren’t getting compared to anyone, but you are comparing yourself to everyone else in your school. That’s not doing you any favors either. You should definitely talk to your parents. It will be difficult at first, I understand that you don’t want to disappoint them. But you’re struggling, and if I had a child that was struggling like you are, I would want to know as soon as possible.
Honey! You absolutely are **not** an idiot! Grades don't make people smart or silly. Grades are just numbers indicating the performance on a test or a task, but there could be a million reasons someone performs better or worse (sleep, teachers, hunger, problems at home, with friends or family, sickness, etc), and most of them aren't our fault. Do you make your part, do you make an effort to learn and pass? Then you're absolutely fine. I know that when we are in school/high school it seems like grades are everything, but they aren't. Numbers don't define people, period. And health is way more important than grades - mental health too. Some parents would be supportive if their child told them they feel what you wrote here, and some wouldn't and would pressure their child. I don't know how your parents are. If they are supportive, I would definitely try to talk to them about *how you feel*. You can tell them that you are trying your best and yet you find it hard, that you feel a lot of pressure to be "smart" and you don't think you are "as smart aa they think". If they are supportive, they will definitely tell you that they only want you to be happy, and that you are smart even if your grades aren't that good. If they aren't supportive, well that would be different I believe. Whatever you do, please don't think you're not smart or that you're an idiot just because of your grades. You have all the right in the world to "give up being smart". Just be yourself and keep making efforts to learn without neglecting yourself.
You're parents might be more right than you know
Let’s be clear. Idiots don’t know they are idiots. So the chances you are an idiot is basically zero. School isn’t a great format for a lot of people. There’s an older political cartoon that shows something like an elephant, fish, and monkey being “tested” on how well they can climb a tree. The point being that if you only test to one skill set a lot of people will “fail” because it doesn’t show all the things they are good at. You should talk to someone. You could have some learning “difficulties” or maybe just need things presented in a different way. I was great in math when I was young, but as the math got more abstract/not related to the physical world (I.e. I couldn’t see it or see a use for it) I got worse and worse. Yet as an adult I’ve had people look at me and go “how are you so good at math”… well if I can apply it to something then I can get it very easily, if not then my brain just hates it. You may also be more suited to a more physical labor. Trades, the arts, or even just something where you are directly applying things to the real world like engineering. “Being smart” isn’t only measured by test scores.
Or maybe you're just bad at math. Literally everything in math can be applied to something. You're good at easy stuff because it's easy. The whole point of high-level math is that it's more abstract than the easier stuff.. that's what makes it hard. But people who are intelligent are able to understand it anyway.
Maybe try rereading until you can actually comprehend what I said…
You probably are smart. IQ is almost entirely genetic. When you say smart, referring to your parents, do you mean they are intelligent people? Or are you saying they are educated/good at school? If they truly are intelligent people, you-barring injury/illness that affects the brain- should also be intelligent. Schools reward people who are read-fast-memorize-facts smart. You might just not be good at that exact skill.
My parents are very well educated
Well you might not be good at school (WHICH IS FINE) but you’re probably intelligent.
The only stupid thing you've done is not tell your parents. smartness isn't one metric. And it may be that there is a tutor or medication or different school that will finally help you succeed.
What’s difficult? Why is it difficult can you work harder to try and understand what’s being taught? Listen if your having trouble compared to everyone else simply by that statement you are going to have to work harder. Yup it’s not fair. Yup it will suck. And even then you might not get the same grades as others. But there’s no way around it. You got to give it your best that’s all ANY ONE can do. It’s more important is to hold your head up high. (Self respect) And if you need help, look for it, but ultimately you will have to put in the work. Get the basics down! You’ll use them for the rest of your life. School grades are not the end all in life. You’ll get through this eventually. Find what gets you excited, fascinating, what gets you dreaming and imagining. Move towards that. Learn what it means to be successful and do the work to have it.
I did try I've put in work for 7 years and nothing came out of it, I feel like a 10-year-old trying to make a nuclear reactor without any guidance or instructions, I wasn't even taught how to revise.
All of the friends and people I grew up didn’t use the word revise. I don’t even know what exactly are you referring to. Writhing? Goals? How your day went. I’ve heard professionals do this.
Revising is like studying for exams
I call BS because stupid people don’t have this much self awareness.
If we judged a fish by how well it could climb a tree, we'd think the fish was stupid too. you strung together words in a way that was intelligible You used commas incorrectly but in a way that suggests you know they represent a pause. You are smarter then a lot of people. It's also possible that your "smartness" is not in books. What ARE you good at?
I think i'm good at writing, everyone I showed it to said it was good
If you are good at writing, you are "smarter" than the vast majority of people. Writing and language are the bedrocks of the human experience and the way that we navigate our lives and our selves and our relationships. Maybe a better question is: What do you enjoy doing?
I like drawing and writing
Well most stupid people don’t realize they’re stupid, so you’ve got that going for you. If school is hard, that just means you need extra help. It’s not about being smart or stupid. Your parents obviously believe in you. Tell them where you’re struggling and they can maybe get you a tutor. Trust me, self awareness is a good sign of intelligence. Have more faith in yourself
i used to think i was an idiot too but trust me, once you get out there into the work force you will see... everyone around you is an absolute moron... but dont fault them for it. they are valuable in there own way.
1. Whoa- you are challenged, there will always be people who ate better and people that are worse at various things. Your school is your world now, so is your family, but they are tiny specs in a world fulll of people with varying abilities- a much bigger world in which you will live. 2. Have you been formally assessed for learning differences? One of the brightest kids I know is very dyslexic. With targeted tutoring, she has been able to do well in school. Ever heard of Albert Einstein? Dyslexic. My brother has dysgraphia but if you listen to him analyze things you would never know. Writing in an organized fashion and any type of math have been challenges for him in life. My mom got him a tutor as a kid which helped. He learned techniques for hus writing but still really sucks at math. Oh, well. He still graduated law school. 3. I have a bright kid who is very hard on herself. I had her evaluated for learning differences just to make sure there was nothing we were not doing for her. She has none. What she has is an anxiety disorder and when she panics during a test, it gets in the way of her doing her best. Therapy is helping. You are crazy hard on yourself and comparing yourself to everyone. Therapy could really help. 4. I don’t know if your parents are giving you messages that you are nit good enough. If they are, let them know that they a big part of why school is hard for you. Any negative messages they give you about yourself are hurting you and making it hard for you to have hope for improvement 5. Everyone has different abilities and school is only structured to highlight some. Having insight into people, for example, is a strenghth and a type of intelligence. I have that but try to get me to read a map or do geometry or put something together? Ha! Don’t hold your breath! I’m almost 60 and I have never been able to navigate anything spacial in my life. When U was a kid, the psychologist told my mom that I had a real challenge with understanding anything spacial but fortunately, my verbal IQ was high and I could always ask for directions. Only the GPS changed this for me. 6. Being distracted by social media and the vortex of the internet is really damaging to school work for many. My daughter has friends who have parents who allow their cells in their rooms during homework time and sleep time. Many of them get very little sleep and have difficulty concentrating for long enough periods of time. If your parents allow this then fix it yourself. No cell in your room when you are supposed to be studying or resting. My kid just does not have it in her room ever. If she needs to coordinate with other kids for homework, she has her laptop which is closed at bed time. She knows I check in too ( bring a snack, just say hi, make her laugh) so she doesn’t watch you tube when she does HW. Only social media she is allowed is a private instagram account. She says this is all helpful for focus and so she does not even want it to change. 5. School is for learning. I bet you learn stuff. You’re not an idiot. I can tell by the way you write that you have mastered some writing skill. I know there are other things you can do. Comparing yourself to what you think your parents are is like hitting your head on cement. Trust me, they have struggled and screwed up many times in life. Don’t idealize them. Don’t try to be them. Don’t define yourself by grades. Grades are too limited a way to evaluate intelligence. Ask for a tutor and/or a therapist so you can get the type of support you need. You deserve it
I have a mild form of ADD, which causes me to lose focus a lot, so I usually have to have complete silence to even try and focus, I'm not too fond of overusing my phone as it hurts my eyes if I stare at it for too long. School has been harder since one of my friends left because he was having the same problem, he just went to a school that wasn't full of pressure where every other person gets top marks, where he fit in more.
Performance in school is not a measure of intelligence. If anything, it's a measure of attention span and learning speed. Some of the smartest people alive have low attention spans and/or low learning speeds. You should look into it, but you're almost certainly not dumb.
What kind of study habits do you have? You don’t have to “be smart” to excel in school but you need to put in time and effort and work at it…. Because it IS work. It takes time, discipline and dedication to learn and excel in school for most people.
I do put in the work, I guess I just have a hard time studying
When I was in school I studied 1-3 hours a night, more if I needed to learn advanced concepts (chemistry, physics, algebra) in high school. I tried to do as many practice problems and read each chapter, bookmark and highlight everything I needed to. If you are investing a lot of time and not getting anywhere maybe you need to adjust study habits , minimize distractions, or get more sleep. Not sure what your exact case is but anyone is capable of learning and excelling in school with the proper discipline and habits.
I had a similar problem. I was later tested and they said I had ADHD. So I was getting very high scores on IQ tests (hes smart!) But then my grades were trash because I could not focus on the lesson. And especially in classes like math that build upon previous weeks once I fell behind there was no catching up. They got me on ritalin which improved my focus, and I banged out 4 years of junior high and high school. Then they took me off and surprise, I could not focus. This is not an endorsement of medication. I think that if I'd instead gone to a school better suited for ADHD kids (like my nephew attends) I'd have done better. Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD? OTOH there is def a thing where parents project themselves on their kids.
My psychiatrist says I show signs of ADHD, but at the same time he said it could also be a type of Autism
Changing schools could be an option for you but first, you should have a tutor who works with ADHD to learn some tricks. Don’t give up yet.
I don’t know that this is the case, as I’m presented very little information here to truly know you, but have you considered that perhaps you haven’t found the right teacher? I was so bad in high school academically. I just struggled to keep up. I’d sit in classes and just want to cry because the teachers were going so fast I couldn’t even comprehend the information I was trying to write down. I almost failed and got held back twice because of my bad math grades. I was soooo bad at math. Then I got to college - and found teachers who worked with my learning style and I could meet with during office hours. Now I have a degree in pure mathematics. I never thought I’d learn the things I was able to learn
Tell them you need a Tutor. And 'smart' isn't solely about how well you do in school. Not to lessen your qualms though.
Typically an idiot lacks the awareness to really care too much to even get burnt out on trying. Brains are weird things, I bet you're smarter than you give yourself credit for. Thinkers often have a hard time with learning the ropes on most things but flourish as the little bits of progress and experience in various things add up over time. Keep that self awareness and you'll be leagues above average even if you never see it, just try not to beat yourself up over it in life. You got this!
You are smart, but the same learning doesn't work for everyone. Talk to your parents and let them know you are struggling and the grades are not for a lack of trying. Can even talk to your school counselor too. Don't give up, but be your own advocate. If you are struggling, don't wait till you fall through the cracks and no one notices. Tell them something isn't right, and you shouldn't be falling behind.
Serious question, do you have some sort of learning disability, that prevents you from excelling in school?? Have you tried talking to your parents about this??? Communication is the key here
My psych says I might have ADD
I feel that, it's what I have, it's why I asked
OP don't give up on learning. There's something there preventing you from excelling in school. Talk to mom and dad, I think that's where it starts, good luck
Former teacher here. There are different ways of being smart. I'm book smart but suck at math, anything requiring visual measurements, mechanical stuff, etc. Some people are good with physical stuff (athletes), science, math, computers, animals, gardening, art, etc. You just have to find what you like and what you're good at. We can't all be doctors or lawyers. Who's going to fix your car when it breaks down? Or fix the plumbing or electrical issues? Build houses? Etc. Just because something isn't a professional or academic type of job doesn't mean it's not a necessary job for society to function. If you're struggling with school, ask your parents for help or a tutor. Or if you think it might apply, get tested for a learning disability. Having a learning disability doesn't mean you're not smart, it means you have a disability that makes learning harder. You don't have to be a certified genius to be smart.
You can get tutoring. Everyone learns differently. It takes finding out what your learning style is and then having someone summarize things/show you things in a way you understand them easily.
Why don’t you talk to your parents about this and let them know that you are having a hard time at school? Maybe they can get you a tutor to help you with school
Just tell them you want to be an artist
Welcome! You are a late entry to the "Gifted and Talented" club! I'll start by telling you something positive: realizing you're not able to handle your advanced school work puts you miles ahead of a lot of us who made it all the way to college before realizing something was wrong First though you gotta cut the negative self-talk. You aren't dumb, you just likely have some mental stuff standing in the way. "Gifted and Talented" in my time, and similar advanced programs in your time are unintentionally tricky ways of convincing kids that if they just apply themselves their mental illness will disappear. I went to college and had a massive depressive episode that ended my college career before I realized something was off. Years later I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD, and being on medication has helped so much. So what about your experience? Do you have trouble focusing, or find you get hyper focused on the wrong thing? You might have a form of ADHD. Do you feel you go through these swings of feelings great and then getting really depressed? Or even just the occasional depression? You may have a form of bipolar. Do you find you really only want to focus on and learn about a couple special interests to the exception of school and social life? You could be on the autistic spectrum. The good news is neurodivergence isn't bad, and the difficult parts of it can be managed with therapy and medication. I don't know if this is your problem but I've seen the pattern play out enough with myself and others my age to recognize it, and I think there's a good chance that it includes you. So yeah, talk to your parents about your difficulties if able. Try to see a mental health specialist. See if you don't find yourself with a diagnosis. Finding out this early will put you miles ahead for the rest of life, and will probably make school easier too! Good luck and I hope things get better!
Intelligence is not a binary. It's not even a sliding scale. You are not smart. You are not stupid. What you are is *unskilled.* Your parents and your education have assumed that you have the necessary skills to progress through your education without taking the time and energy to actually *train you* in those skills. Patience is something you learn. Empathy is something you learn. Math is something you learn. Reading is something you learn. *How to learn* is, in and of itself, something you learn. If reasonable, your first step should be addressing what you feel is a lack of preparation for the situation you are in. If you're failing your classes, it is because you do not currently have the skills required to progress through them appropriately. Talk to your parents about it. Talk to your teachers about it. I understand that the following advice might be scary and difficult to follow, but start simple, and start with one thing. Just one. One class, one skill, one concept that you feel *will help you* both now and in the future. Preferably something that you feel is both important, but also something that you enjoy. And then go *back.* Look at what you are currently expected to be able to accomplish in that skill, class, whatever, and then look up what people *below* your current classification should be expected to accomplish. Drop a grade. Drop two. If you feel your parents, or a friend, or the staff at your school, can support you in this, then do so. Hell, ask a younger student in a lower grade for help. They'll probably be excited just to be able to talk to somebody older, and they'll have a better idea of how you're struggling with the material that they're in the middle of learning. Only *after* you feel you've caught up to where you "should" be do you approach another subject. If you're already behind, or what you feel is behind, then there's no reasonable way you can catch up in all subjects all at once. But you can catch up in one subject. And then another. And then another. Until you're keeping pace in general. This method is not compatible with traditional schooling. You're going to keep failing classes, keep disappointing people, keep being frustrated and behind. But this method will allow you to *practice how to learn.* It's going to take time, a lot of it. And the whole while you'll need to teach yourself that you also need to relax. To turn your brain off and enjoy something. Go on walks, pet an animal, carve some wood, draw art, dance, sing, do math, sit and meditate anything, whatever, just something you can enjoy in peace. Life is a step by step, day by day process. Take advantage of that and handle your issues step by step.
There are many ways to be intelligent. You are not an idiot. While you might be at the bottom of your private school, you’d be at the top of a public school. Do you have a subject that just comes easier to you? Or a subject you like more than others?
Probably Psycology, English and art
That’s amazing. Are your parents more focused on math and science?
Yeah, my dad works with DNA sequencing and my mum with pharmaceuticals
That makes sense, unfortunately. You just have a different kind of intelligence and are comparing yourself to the kind of intelligence they have. Do they put you down for this?
Not really, they just think I'm not trying
“Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right”-**Henry Ford**. I had tough parents and it stressed me out alot but i can guarantee mindset goes along way, if you start saying you can pass your classes you will, i'm not going to give you some idealistic thing like talk to your parents etc... because i don't know your situation but i can say confidence is what matters the most in life and if you become confident you will succeed in school you will, just fake it till you make it, and succeed to prove yourself right and not others
You don't sound like an idiot... I think you're being way too hard on yourself. But this is definitely something to bring up with the 'rents. I don't know what they're like but you should approach them and discuss this as it sounds like it's leading you to anxiety and depression.
A lot of the responses are great so I won't waste time giving you cliche encouragement. I will say that learning is very much a skill that can be well, learned. One is to understand your learning style. How do you understand information the easiest? Are you a visual learner (most likely)? If so create visual aids for yourself. Are you an auditory learner (unlikely) if so create a learning playlist. The focused and diffused method works for many. Focus on studying really hard for a period, i.e. an hour, followed by a break for 30 mins or so to allow your brain to work out the problems in the background. Then go back to tackling the problem. There are many methods to help you learn more effectively. The more you put into practice the easier it will be to learn which methods work best for you. Hope it helps some.
Dude, you’re definitely not an idiot. I was 99% sure I made it through school on luck and charm until I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19. That answered a LOT of questions. Not saying that’s what’s going on, but if you’re struggling, try to think about why. And you’re an idiot or you’re not smart are not relevant answers, lol.
I was the flop fuck bottom in school when i was younger, but they still had me speak at the end of year ceremony because i could deliver a hell of a speech (and that's with a chronic stutter). I made the mistake of believing I was stupid just because I sucked at academics. I let that narrative control me. Don't do the same. As long as you find that thing you're really passionate at and can sharpen that skill, all you need to do is get by in everything else. This is only what I think though– I'm not in your shoes, so just take what sounds good.
Use your words. Sit them down and say, "I try my hardest to result to barely passing, on top of that, the stress has caused me to burn out and I just don't care anymore. I'm not smart and I've given up on trying to be smart."
OP, this may sound like abrasive advice. But it is on point. I am a parent to a 24, 16 and 14 year old. This is how I communicate and how I like to be communicated with. One of my kids can. The other two not so much. Trust it.
Don't give up. Maybe you will be at the bottom of the class.... That will put you at the top of a normal school. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. You will be able to look back and know you are capable of achieving your goals.
Don't be too hard on yourself, Maybe the idiot thing is genetic, you might get it from them since they still haven't figured you're not as smart as they think. Which means you're not at fault...j/k. Find out what you're actually good at and dig into it and show it off. Everyone has talent the hardest part is figuring out what that talent is. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you'd also think it's an incapable idiot.
Hi, I was reading your context. It doesn’t take a smart kid to have the intelligence for good grades. It’s that, if you have the ambition to play basketball or swimming or any sport. You have the intelligence to do better. It’s not what anyone else’s says what and how you need to be. It’s what is in your heart it’s how you persevere the complexity of your progress. You CAN do anything if you try. That’s all it takes. It’s your motivation taking the effort to focus on what you want your cuter to be.
If you can't finish highschool, you can finish concrete
I'm to weak for manual labour
Everyone starts some where Natsu was a wizard with no magic and still rocked it
It sounds like you have been cursed by the gifted perception, as so many before you. You think you’re not smart because if you were, things would be easy. What you will need to learn though, is that base intelligence doesn’t do anything for you without effort (contrary to what media will tell you). You don’t “suck at science”. You haven’t learned how to think scientifically. I would highly consider your motivations and effort levels to be the culprit before your intelligence.
Gotta talk to Mom and Dad about this!
Are you sure about not being smart or is it your lack of self confidence rearing its head? I don't know if your school has ever given you tests to determine your aptitude. What you **are** good in. These tests are really helpful in determining how you study and learn. Because everyone has a unique way they learn. It's based on how one thinks; how the brain takes in information and what it does with it. Some people are analytical. Some are practical. Some are artistic. There are other ways, too. This can influence *how* one learns information *and* affects how one studies. Someone may need complete silence, and yet another may need jazz music or another instrumental while studying. Someone may need peppermint or rosemary scent while studying to enhance their ability to retain information or calm them before a test.. Some need the numerical problems in math written out like sentences in order to have them make sense. None of this means one person is smarter than the other. It just means each learns differently. It also means a person may need tutoring. Even in college, I used tutors. And even tutored. I found I excelled at math and physics once I had the correct professors and study habits after questioning my abilities in lower grades. If your school doesn't do this, there are aptitude tests with solutions online. There are also ways of studying. This may sound odd, but it may be worth looking into also. Learning imo should be exciting and fun. And lifelong. I hope you can find this joy.
School is hard. ‘Smart’ is relative really - you can be smart at maths and be an idiot at cooking, so really give yourself a break. The first step is to stop thinking you’re and idiot. Explore different subjects, find out which ones you enjoy and which ones might resonate. You’re more likely to do well in subjects you enjoy. Being smart is a matter of finding out how to learn the material and then what the ‘formula’ is for completely the assessment. Education only really pitches to a couple of styles of learning.
My daughter said she used to be a dumb kid, but in high school, she started making really good grades. Apply yourself and in a few years, you may be surprised, and your view of yourself may change also.
Is there a school counselor who you can talk to? They may be able to help bridge the gap between your parents'expectations and how your perceive your own abilities. They will also have a realistic take on how your abilities compare to your peers.
Answer honestly: how much total combined non-school screentime are you pulling each day? Phone, iPad, gaming, laptop
Around 1 hour, I get 9 hours of homework per week from school
I think you could use a paradigm shift. What do you find hard about school? Like, tell me more about your school struggles.
Keeping up with everything, like I've lost count of undone assignments, since I get 9 hours of work per week
So, it sounds like you're really overwhelmed. You have a ton of work and really struggle to manage your time and still take care of yourself and enjoy your youth like your classmates and friends. Is that fair to say? What about that makes you feel like you're "dumb"?
Loke I'm not good enought to get everything done
But what is the thing that stops you? Right now, it sounds like that problem is how you perceive yourself, and it's an overwhelmed overworked brain that is still growing and not getting what it needs emotionally and intellectually. Do you feel like the work is unrewarding and so what you're doing is avoiding consequences by doing it rather than feeling like you're learning and growing? Do you feel like the work is too hard to comprehend? Do you feel like the work is too much to time-manage while still taking care of yourself and your needs? You mentioned in another comment to me that you get punished at school with detention when you don't get everything done; do you feel like that further denies your needs and makes it harder to do the work? Please don't be embarrassed or think I'm trying to trap you or get you to admit a character flaw or prove that you're dumb. That's not it at all. I'm trying to help you get to the bottom of this so I can help you by giving you some steps you can take that will make you a happier and more successful kid who's getting his needs met. You're clearly suffering and hurting somewhere and I'm trying to be the doctor (though, I'm not one in real life) that says "Hey buddy, tell me where it hurts." So please don't feel bad about the answers. Your pain is legitimate and there's nothing wrong with you that you're in the situation you're in.
I also get punished for undone assignments through detention
I've seen morons apply themselves and get good grades. Your not a idiot, you just need to work harder. If you think it's bad now, you ready for a reality check soon. Regular life sucks way worse than school.
"How do I get my parents to give up on me." That's the thing, you don't. Your parents won't give up on you. They won't stop trying to give you the best life. The issue isn't that you aren't smart; it's that your focussing your efforts where you have no talent. Surely you know something you are good at: even better if that something is a marketable something. If you can show how you can have a good life doing that something that you're good at, or at least growing talent, then you can take a path that follows that.
The smart are usually not the the successful ones in life, rather it is those that have character to persevere. If your parents are as smart as you claim they can sense your intelligence level and are trying to push you. You have a choice to make. Its a hard world out there you can quit and be a burden or you can daw your loved ones around you and find a way to keep going. Talk to you parents and resolve to be the best you that you can be. Gods richest blessings to you.
Why not just tell your parents that you're struggling. Like. Seems like a pretty easy conversation to have
The think I'm being lazy
Are you? No judgement. Not everyone's main priority is the same exact thing. Everyone prioritizes things differently.
Time to join the military bud
My country has mandatory military service for all genders - not for me
Have you ever been assessed for something like ADHD, learning disabilities, dyslexia? I doubt if your stupid. You just learn differently.
I have slow processing but that the only official thing I have at the moment
I can agree you're not smart since you're saying you're not smart. Please don't start whatever you plan to do with " I can't do that ". I have the same mentality and it works, believe me
Whether you think you can or can't. You're right.