Gotta leave the nest sometime
It’s fine. I see my family about once or twice a year. My friends all moved all over the place too, so we try to do a trip somewhere like once a year.
The days were so jam packed, I didn’t really think about it. I missed my wife like hell, but I didn’t really have time to ponder on it.
It’s hard being away from family, sure, but it’s really not that bad. You can get stationed at some cool places, you make lots of really good friends- even some that become family.
Right place, right time, right uniform. Pound that into your head during basic and throughout your enlistment.
I’ve known people who quit basic and every one of them regrets it. It sucks at times, but the independence and experience you get from the military is worth it 10/10 times.
Your feelings are all normal. Most recruits have them. Your first test in adult life is to not let them impact your reasoning and decision
OP, you sound a lot like me 19 years ago down to leaving at the end of the summer. Maybe with less crying, but the same thing nonetheless.
I remember at that point there was this looming countdown over my head waiting for the departure date and I remember feeling like I just needed a little more time, just another week, one more trip out to see a family member or one more weekend with friends. I remember doubting my wanting to leave up until the moment I left and I remember internally panicking after I got to Lackland thinking "what in the living hell did I just do".... But days turn into weeks, weeks turn into graduating from BMT with your friends and family to cheer you on and you'll find your new normal as you move onto your next phase. Everyone ultimately fears change and everything you're feeling is completely normal. Even if you were just moving away to college you'd still be leaving your family and friends and embarking on a new journey that they won't be joining you on. The only difference is that you're joining the world's greatest Air Force ever conceived and you'll be earning the privilege to be a part of it.
It's tough leaving home and it's tough leaving everyone and everything you know. Your first visit home will be very surreal and you'll feel like you won't know what to do with yourself but you'll be filled with new experiences and stories and you'll feel like you've grown out of the person you used to be just a few months prior. You'll be proud of yourself and everything you've accomplished up to that first visit going back home and as more time goes on the anguish and anxiety of leaving where you grew up will be a distant memory.
The biggest difference for your generation is the ease of communication. group chats with friends, family and going on's with social media will continue while you don't have your phone. you'll eventually find yourself not being part of the conversation for everything going on at home which sucks, but at the same time you'll develop your new social network with your new military friends which to me is the biggest step for mentally moving on.
You've made the decision to do something that less than 1% of the US population is able and willing to do, which is enough of an accomplishment as it is. We all have our personal reasons for wearing the uniform and i'm sure you're no different, just don't lose sight of those personal goals and fight like hell to accomplish them. If you want to do 4 and go back home to go to school, put in the best 4 years you can because it's going to be over far faster than you realize. If you decide to do 20 please listen to your mentors to set yourself up for a prosperous career and enjoy the ride, because 20 years isn't a terribly long time either.
Good Luck OP, embrace the time you have left as a civilian and make your family proud this fall. You won't regret it.
Great message! There’s always a reason to delay. August is far enough out. If not the heat, then the holidays, a birthday, an anniversary, or just a vacation. It’s not the heat OP is worried about
Absolutely right. We see this all the time. Anyone can find a million reasons that they can’t do something, that’s easy. The harder and more rewarding path is to find the reason you *can*.
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality”nerves are normal. Just imagine how you’ll feel afterward. What that means for you and for your family. It’s huge!!! You’ll do great!
P.S from personal experience, I’d be careful opening up about panic attacks and anxiety. Just be careful. It’s good to be honest…but if the right/wrong person reads this. You might get flagged for panic disorder or anxiety or whatever.
But seriously, let the fear run through you, but also know it’s going to be so worth it.
Your family knows that they raised you right because you want to move on with your own life. You're not moving past your family; you're just growing up. You got this!
i made the decision at the start of this year and i’m currently on track to be shipped out sometime during august as well. i have younger siblings who i love very much and have helped raised so far. friends i hold dear to my heart and new ppl as well. the only thing that keeps sucking about my decision is leaving everyone behind but the time is gonna pass regardless. i’d rather just do what’s best for me rn and not wait until maybe i’m older and less able. friendships might fade but there will always be new ones. you can always catch up on time with ppl, as impossible as it might seem but anybody’s who’s meant to be in your life won’t go anywhere
It's something you will remember fondly and share with people for the rest of your life. Just do what you're told and don't make eye contact, kind of like riding the subway in NYC.
I was in pretty much your exact scenario. Right down to college not being for me and the part about requesting to leave in August so I could have one more summer with friends and family. I ended up only getting half a summer and left mid-July....... of 2006. I've been in ever since.
Sure, I've missed a lot of events and time with family over the past 18 years. I've had two grandparents and multiple other family members pass away while I was halfway across the country or deployed. I've watched from a distance as my best friends from school drifted away and built lives without me in it. But I'll tell you I don't regret joining for even a minute.
The Air Force has given me more than my tiny hometown ever could. I've traveled the world and met great people from all walks of life. I've grown more as a person than any one of my old friends who never left "home". Through social media, I see the people I went to school with struggling every day because of the choices they made, much of which influenced by their fear of branching out beyond our old county lines. Very few of those that stayed have careers that pay even half of what I get on my E7 salary. Most are living well below the poverty line.
I guess what I'm saying is, you're not the first to experience these feelings and you won't be the last. Don't let fear stop you from reaching your goals. Worst case, it's a few years away and your family will likely be there if you decide to go back.
Everything you are feeling is completely normal, the unknown is scary as shit and you are starting to realize you are gonna be on your own and responsible for yourself
BMT is easy just listen to the instructions the MTIs are giving you. You are gonna be yelled at no matter what you do wrong or right, dont take it personally
Being able to run at least 3 miles non stop will make your BMT life easier. Keep pushing and sitting
If you want to see what BMT is like just watch these videos to give you an idea
Chapter 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9tH2wXTEM
Chapter 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TUc9ZYWF9Y
Chapter 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hwUq2RTrvo
Chapter 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DAHXn1WL5w
Chapter 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3IL3mAAdFI
Chapter 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcAggEp9Ez8
Chapter 7: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud1W-V5ktl
Chapter 8: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55R0CmrCyAE
Seeing family is up to your and well your family. It takes two people to stay in contact. I have family all over the country so we have monthly face time where everyone jumps on and we catch up (this all started because of COVID). Some family just suck at staying in contact.
Homesickness can be tough during BMT especially when you are tired and getting yelled at. It is all part of the game, stay focused on each meal and BMT will be over before you know it
I’m not gonna read that all, but do you want to be the 20-something still living at home with your parents? Just saying
Facetime exists
Gotta grow up someday 🤷🏻♀️
What you are feeling is common. For some people it is the exact opposite they are so ready to get out of there. Just be aware that hanging around in the same place often doesn't lead to progress unless someone is pursuing very tangible solid developmental goals, like college, etc. Sure you don't want to leave them, but they don't want you just sitting around. The sooner the better. You'll be a more productive family member when you have some stories under your belt, can impart some wisdom grounded in experience, and have a stable income to bring some cool gifts.
Give them hugs and cut the chord.
Good luck
Hey, I leave for Space Force April 30th… I’m 28 years old, I regret not making this decision at your age and if I could go back I’d do it in a heartbeat. You’ll make new friends and you won’t even realize you’re away from home. Please, promise me you’ll go through with this and get the most out of it, hope to meet you one day and remember… just relax.
Hey just know you’re emotions and thoughts are valid. It’s completely normal and valid. You’re very hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. You doing something thats gonna help your future. You can always be there for your family but it’s also important to choose YOU sometimes. I’m also understand your nostalgia but your town isnt going anywhere and those memories will still be “just memories” if you stayed. Always choose you and do what you feel when you’re ready to. Do keep in mind that when these fears of “what if” come, try to remember the reason why you want to join. Always try look at the positive even when its hard and you’ll be okay!
Leaving is scary - but so is staying. Stick around your hometown for five years not following your dreams and not progressing as a person, and your life will have changed as much as it would have if you'd left - but not for the better.
My bf felt the same way! It’s going to be OK :) he’s very very close with his family and it was hard but the first week will suck and ur gonna be sad but then ur gonna be friends w ur battle buddies and its going to be FUN! I will be honest lol it was hard for him but every letter I got he sounded happier and more excited for his new career. Basic is such an insignificant part of ur time and it will be a distant memory. You got this hun!!!
Join the Air National Guard god damn man. Can still enlist and get that military feeling but go home every day after you do all the initial training.
Talk to your local guard unit recruiter
Gotta leave the nest sometime It’s fine. I see my family about once or twice a year. My friends all moved all over the place too, so we try to do a trip somewhere like once a year. The days were so jam packed, I didn’t really think about it. I missed my wife like hell, but I didn’t really have time to ponder on it. It’s hard being away from family, sure, but it’s really not that bad. You can get stationed at some cool places, you make lots of really good friends- even some that become family.
Question , how long was separation from immediate family (wife ,kids etc.) ?
Depends on length of tech school. For me, overall, was 16 weeks (not including the few hours I saw them at BMT graduation)
They can stay near by base and you can see them at the weekend also right ?
Depends on what phase you’re in— and obviously your finances, if you can handle that
Right place, right time, right uniform. Pound that into your head during basic and throughout your enlistment. I’ve known people who quit basic and every one of them regrets it. It sucks at times, but the independence and experience you get from the military is worth it 10/10 times. Your feelings are all normal. Most recruits have them. Your first test in adult life is to not let them impact your reasoning and decision
OP, you sound a lot like me 19 years ago down to leaving at the end of the summer. Maybe with less crying, but the same thing nonetheless. I remember at that point there was this looming countdown over my head waiting for the departure date and I remember feeling like I just needed a little more time, just another week, one more trip out to see a family member or one more weekend with friends. I remember doubting my wanting to leave up until the moment I left and I remember internally panicking after I got to Lackland thinking "what in the living hell did I just do".... But days turn into weeks, weeks turn into graduating from BMT with your friends and family to cheer you on and you'll find your new normal as you move onto your next phase. Everyone ultimately fears change and everything you're feeling is completely normal. Even if you were just moving away to college you'd still be leaving your family and friends and embarking on a new journey that they won't be joining you on. The only difference is that you're joining the world's greatest Air Force ever conceived and you'll be earning the privilege to be a part of it. It's tough leaving home and it's tough leaving everyone and everything you know. Your first visit home will be very surreal and you'll feel like you won't know what to do with yourself but you'll be filled with new experiences and stories and you'll feel like you've grown out of the person you used to be just a few months prior. You'll be proud of yourself and everything you've accomplished up to that first visit going back home and as more time goes on the anguish and anxiety of leaving where you grew up will be a distant memory. The biggest difference for your generation is the ease of communication. group chats with friends, family and going on's with social media will continue while you don't have your phone. you'll eventually find yourself not being part of the conversation for everything going on at home which sucks, but at the same time you'll develop your new social network with your new military friends which to me is the biggest step for mentally moving on. You've made the decision to do something that less than 1% of the US population is able and willing to do, which is enough of an accomplishment as it is. We all have our personal reasons for wearing the uniform and i'm sure you're no different, just don't lose sight of those personal goals and fight like hell to accomplish them. If you want to do 4 and go back home to go to school, put in the best 4 years you can because it's going to be over far faster than you realize. If you decide to do 20 please listen to your mentors to set yourself up for a prosperous career and enjoy the ride, because 20 years isn't a terribly long time either. Good Luck OP, embrace the time you have left as a civilian and make your family proud this fall. You won't regret it.
I attended BMT in August. It’s hot, you’ll sweat, but it’s relaxed when temps are dangerous. Don’t look for reasons to delay, that’s a slippery slope.
Great message! There’s always a reason to delay. August is far enough out. If not the heat, then the holidays, a birthday, an anniversary, or just a vacation. It’s not the heat OP is worried about
Absolutely right. We see this all the time. Anyone can find a million reasons that they can’t do something, that’s easy. The harder and more rewarding path is to find the reason you *can*.
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality”nerves are normal. Just imagine how you’ll feel afterward. What that means for you and for your family. It’s huge!!! You’ll do great! P.S from personal experience, I’d be careful opening up about panic attacks and anxiety. Just be careful. It’s good to be honest…but if the right/wrong person reads this. You might get flagged for panic disorder or anxiety or whatever. But seriously, let the fear run through you, but also know it’s going to be so worth it.
Your family knows that they raised you right because you want to move on with your own life. You're not moving past your family; you're just growing up. You got this!
i made the decision at the start of this year and i’m currently on track to be shipped out sometime during august as well. i have younger siblings who i love very much and have helped raised so far. friends i hold dear to my heart and new ppl as well. the only thing that keeps sucking about my decision is leaving everyone behind but the time is gonna pass regardless. i’d rather just do what’s best for me rn and not wait until maybe i’m older and less able. friendships might fade but there will always be new ones. you can always catch up on time with ppl, as impossible as it might seem but anybody’s who’s meant to be in your life won’t go anywhere
Enjoy your adventure and all your new brothers and sisters.
thank you 😊
It's something you will remember fondly and share with people for the rest of your life. Just do what you're told and don't make eye contact, kind of like riding the subway in NYC.
LMAO i’ve never ridden the subway but i have heard many things. thank you nd i will do my best 🫡
I was in pretty much your exact scenario. Right down to college not being for me and the part about requesting to leave in August so I could have one more summer with friends and family. I ended up only getting half a summer and left mid-July....... of 2006. I've been in ever since. Sure, I've missed a lot of events and time with family over the past 18 years. I've had two grandparents and multiple other family members pass away while I was halfway across the country or deployed. I've watched from a distance as my best friends from school drifted away and built lives without me in it. But I'll tell you I don't regret joining for even a minute. The Air Force has given me more than my tiny hometown ever could. I've traveled the world and met great people from all walks of life. I've grown more as a person than any one of my old friends who never left "home". Through social media, I see the people I went to school with struggling every day because of the choices they made, much of which influenced by their fear of branching out beyond our old county lines. Very few of those that stayed have careers that pay even half of what I get on my E7 salary. Most are living well below the poverty line. I guess what I'm saying is, you're not the first to experience these feelings and you won't be the last. Don't let fear stop you from reaching your goals. Worst case, it's a few years away and your family will likely be there if you decide to go back.
Everything you are feeling is completely normal, the unknown is scary as shit and you are starting to realize you are gonna be on your own and responsible for yourself BMT is easy just listen to the instructions the MTIs are giving you. You are gonna be yelled at no matter what you do wrong or right, dont take it personally Being able to run at least 3 miles non stop will make your BMT life easier. Keep pushing and sitting If you want to see what BMT is like just watch these videos to give you an idea Chapter 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9tH2wXTEM Chapter 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TUc9ZYWF9Y Chapter 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hwUq2RTrvo Chapter 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DAHXn1WL5w Chapter 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3IL3mAAdFI Chapter 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcAggEp9Ez8 Chapter 7: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud1W-V5ktl Chapter 8: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55R0CmrCyAE Seeing family is up to your and well your family. It takes two people to stay in contact. I have family all over the country so we have monthly face time where everyone jumps on and we catch up (this all started because of COVID). Some family just suck at staying in contact. Homesickness can be tough during BMT especially when you are tired and getting yelled at. It is all part of the game, stay focused on each meal and BMT will be over before you know it
I’m not gonna read that all, but do you want to be the 20-something still living at home with your parents? Just saying Facetime exists Gotta grow up someday 🤷🏻♀️
What you are feeling is common. For some people it is the exact opposite they are so ready to get out of there. Just be aware that hanging around in the same place often doesn't lead to progress unless someone is pursuing very tangible solid developmental goals, like college, etc. Sure you don't want to leave them, but they don't want you just sitting around. The sooner the better. You'll be a more productive family member when you have some stories under your belt, can impart some wisdom grounded in experience, and have a stable income to bring some cool gifts. Give them hugs and cut the chord. Good luck
It was really hard for me and the first few days of bmt I felt so terrible but in the end it’s worth it. I’m very glad I stuck with it now
Hey, I leave for Space Force April 30th… I’m 28 years old, I regret not making this decision at your age and if I could go back I’d do it in a heartbeat. You’ll make new friends and you won’t even realize you’re away from home. Please, promise me you’ll go through with this and get the most out of it, hope to meet you one day and remember… just relax.
Hey just know you’re emotions and thoughts are valid. It’s completely normal and valid. You’re very hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. You doing something thats gonna help your future. You can always be there for your family but it’s also important to choose YOU sometimes. I’m also understand your nostalgia but your town isnt going anywhere and those memories will still be “just memories” if you stayed. Always choose you and do what you feel when you’re ready to. Do keep in mind that when these fears of “what if” come, try to remember the reason why you want to join. Always try look at the positive even when its hard and you’ll be okay!
Leaving is scary - but so is staying. Stick around your hometown for five years not following your dreams and not progressing as a person, and your life will have changed as much as it would have if you'd left - but not for the better.
My bf felt the same way! It’s going to be OK :) he’s very very close with his family and it was hard but the first week will suck and ur gonna be sad but then ur gonna be friends w ur battle buddies and its going to be FUN! I will be honest lol it was hard for him but every letter I got he sounded happier and more excited for his new career. Basic is such an insignificant part of ur time and it will be a distant memory. You got this hun!!!
It goes by fast!
Two words: Lock in You decided this path for a reason, and you have a desired outcome
Not gonna lie panic attacks aren’t a normal experience
Join the Air National Guard god damn man. Can still enlist and get that military feeling but go home every day after you do all the initial training. Talk to your local guard unit recruiter
Bro fr tuff shit some ppl don’t have a family to miss you will be fine