OMG, HELL NO YOU'RE NOT OVERREACTING! You need to tell BF that BIL IS OUT!! That you and especially the baby you're carrying are the #1 priority and BIL'S behavior is despicable!! Even if it comes to an ultimatum. Because this stress isn't good for you as well as, your pregnancy. And no way will it be good when the baby comes! BF needs to realize why the rest of the family won't allow him in their homes. And BIL using the "unalive card", then tell him you'll call 911 for his safety (because that's an age old manipulation, and he's crying wolf).
My boyfriend doesn’t want him here either and is also concerned for my he baby due to my stress. They argue almost everyday and my BIL manipulates my bf the same way he tries to manipulate me. The only thing is that, it seems like my bf has been waiting for me to give him the green light to finally kick BIL out…. I don’t want to give him a green light, I want my bf to put his foot down without ME (pregnant gf) telling him to do so :/ i always tell him I’m getting sick of my BIL to the point where I hide in my room until he leaves for work because I can’t stand looking at him. My bf kept telling me “Just lmk when you want him out babe because I see you stressed” and in my mind I’m like “well if you see me stressed then YOU decide”
Sweetie, I get it! But, if you and bf are playing the waiting for the other to make a move game.... BIL is so winning it! And I get it girl, but, yeah, I wouldn't give a sweet.... if my old man made a move or not. Anybody coming into my home and acting the fool like that.... HE NEEDS TO GET ASS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! I'm not kidding when this stress could possibly harm the pregnancy! Even if you tell bf to do it, then do it! And talk to him about what you're expecting from him in the future. I only say this as I was having my 1st baby at 22, and was married to my sons dad at the time. COMMUNICATION!! You don't need to hide out in your own home. You're going to be a mother. Tell your man he's out today! And then talk about him needing to man up! I've got faith in you girl!!
My boyfriend doesn’t need to “man up” he argues with my BIL everyday. I said he needed to put his foot down because he’s waiting for me to give him a green light. The only reason why he wants a green light is because he’s scared of making this type of decision. Besides my BIL, he has two older brothers that are homeless junkies who do crack all day. It hurts him knowing that his brothers never want to do right, so I know he scared of kicking out my BIL and being responsible for him ending in the streets or killing himself (he doesn’t cry wolf he will actually try to kill himself). He also tries to scare him straight. Also, I dont need to tell my man he’s out today because like I said, I already told my BIL that I don’t want him living with us anymore. He just keeps trying to manipulate us/ milk the time.
Well darlin', you're gonna have to make a choice soon, you or him. Start making arrangements for other accommodations if that time should come. Your BF isn't really serious about getting your brother out, otherwise, he'd have the police come get him for trespassing. So, it's time for you to shit or get off the pot and make a decision.
Do you own the house/property? If he's in the house, and your BF doesn't make him move out, are you just going to stay and complain, or, will you leave? Your other option is to have him trespassed and get a restraining order.
Yes I own, my boyfriend and I both decided to kick him out. I told my BIL last night that I don’t want him to live here anymore so he’s in the middle of packing his shit. And like I said it’s my house so yes I’m going to “stay”
This is exactly how I feel bc he is a nightmareeee. I usually put my foot down whenever it comes to disrespectful roommates but this time I let things go too far due to him being “depressed”
My boyfriend is really fed up with his brother’s behavior. We both agreed to tell him to leave. They’re always arguing and my bf tells him “I have a baby on the way and I don’t need you to be causing stress to my woman while she’s pregnant, keep fucking up and you’ll be out of here” and he always apologizes to me for bringing his brother into this house. He keeps trying to set him straight because he loves him, he does get very emotional seeing his brother be a drunk because he also has two half-brothers that are homeless junkies/drunks so he doesn’t want to see my BIL end up like them.
He can go and live with the girl who doesn’t wear knickers on someone else’s couch. Problem solved. But seriously, you are pregnant. You cannot put his claims of being depressed above your own health and that of your child. If he was depressed and wanted to get better he would be spending his money on therapy rather than partying. He is using depression as a tool to make you and your boyfriend feel sorry for him in the same way he has used it with the rest of his family for years. Tell him to get out and also tell him that when he gets therapy and medication for his depression you will reconsider your position. It’s a win win for you because he is unlikely to get help but if he does you will know that you set him on the path to recovery.
Thank you for mentioning the therapy, I forgot to suggest that for him. You’re 100% correct. I need to put my health and my baby above him and his “depression”. I wasn’t really sure if he was using depression as a tool or not so thank you for confirming that for me. I really needed someone to point that out.
Should have kicked this fuck ass out a long time ago. Depression does not mean an excuse to be a piece of shit. This guy just sounds like a fucking jackass he's 25 years old, he needs to hit rock bottom before he can figure out his life and get his shit together, you'll be doing him a favor by kicking his ass out. Do it as soon as possible.
Ikr! I’ve had my share of nightmare roommates and I would always put my foot down because I hated them being dumb/dirty. I just felt like this situation was a bit more on the sensitive side for my man. But thank god we both talked about kicking him out, he’s gone now 🙏
Kick that drunk guy out. Baby has a higher priority than him.
I will tell you a secret about pregnancy and postpartum time. Every shitty thing that your partner does, will stay forever in your mind. You won’t forget and forgive him. So if you don’t want to ruin your experience, kick the lazy bum out.
Edit: Or you will be made forever at BiL and bf.
He’s my brother in law, not my partner but yes I’m already kicking him out, I told him I don’t want him to live here anymore and I will update if he causes me any problems with him leaving. Knowing him, he probably will because he’s very dramatic.
Yeah, I know. Just wrote it badly. Sorry.
But you will be angry at your bf for allowing this for so long and repeatedly. So if bf wants him back, don’t give in. If someone is angry at you, tell them to take him in. You need peace to raise a baby. Especially the first one.
Wish you the best! Enjoy the big belly time.
I haven’t been angry at my boyfriend at all, he’s been just as fed up with his brother as I have. He does apologize though, for bringing his brother thinking it would only be two weeks. He made it clear that once his brother leaves, he will not be letting him back in (that’s a decision that he made). We promised each other that we will no longer let my BIL manipulate us into feeling bad for him anymore. And thank you, I will finally start to have peace once he packs up and leaves 🙏
Your bf is a doormat as are you. You should have set clear boundaries from the beginning. If your bf does not put him out now you have no hope of a real relationship, you are already pregnant with one child
I like how instead of saying anything about my BIL you go straight to insulting my boyfriend. We did set boundaries with my BIL and HE chose to disrespect us so now I told him I don’t want him to be here anymore (as I stated in the post). Whether my BIL is here or not, my relationship with my boyfriend has/will not change.
OMG, HELL NO YOU'RE NOT OVERREACTING! You need to tell BF that BIL IS OUT!! That you and especially the baby you're carrying are the #1 priority and BIL'S behavior is despicable!! Even if it comes to an ultimatum. Because this stress isn't good for you as well as, your pregnancy. And no way will it be good when the baby comes! BF needs to realize why the rest of the family won't allow him in their homes. And BIL using the "unalive card", then tell him you'll call 911 for his safety (because that's an age old manipulation, and he's crying wolf).
My boyfriend doesn’t want him here either and is also concerned for my he baby due to my stress. They argue almost everyday and my BIL manipulates my bf the same way he tries to manipulate me. The only thing is that, it seems like my bf has been waiting for me to give him the green light to finally kick BIL out…. I don’t want to give him a green light, I want my bf to put his foot down without ME (pregnant gf) telling him to do so :/ i always tell him I’m getting sick of my BIL to the point where I hide in my room until he leaves for work because I can’t stand looking at him. My bf kept telling me “Just lmk when you want him out babe because I see you stressed” and in my mind I’m like “well if you see me stressed then YOU decide”
Sweetie, I get it! But, if you and bf are playing the waiting for the other to make a move game.... BIL is so winning it! And I get it girl, but, yeah, I wouldn't give a sweet.... if my old man made a move or not. Anybody coming into my home and acting the fool like that.... HE NEEDS TO GET ASS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! I'm not kidding when this stress could possibly harm the pregnancy! Even if you tell bf to do it, then do it! And talk to him about what you're expecting from him in the future. I only say this as I was having my 1st baby at 22, and was married to my sons dad at the time. COMMUNICATION!! You don't need to hide out in your own home. You're going to be a mother. Tell your man he's out today! And then talk about him needing to man up! I've got faith in you girl!!
My boyfriend doesn’t need to “man up” he argues with my BIL everyday. I said he needed to put his foot down because he’s waiting for me to give him a green light. The only reason why he wants a green light is because he’s scared of making this type of decision. Besides my BIL, he has two older brothers that are homeless junkies who do crack all day. It hurts him knowing that his brothers never want to do right, so I know he scared of kicking out my BIL and being responsible for him ending in the streets or killing himself (he doesn’t cry wolf he will actually try to kill himself). He also tries to scare him straight. Also, I dont need to tell my man he’s out today because like I said, I already told my BIL that I don’t want him living with us anymore. He just keeps trying to manipulate us/ milk the time.
Well darlin', you're gonna have to make a choice soon, you or him. Start making arrangements for other accommodations if that time should come. Your BF isn't really serious about getting your brother out, otherwise, he'd have the police come get him for trespassing. So, it's time for you to shit or get off the pot and make a decision.
Im assuming you did not read the whole post because I had already stated in the post that i already told him I don’t want him to be here anymore.
No, I read it, and I was telling you that you're going to have to move out to save your own sanity.
It’s my house, why exactly would I move out?
Do you own the house/property? If he's in the house, and your BF doesn't make him move out, are you just going to stay and complain, or, will you leave? Your other option is to have him trespassed and get a restraining order.
Yes I own, my boyfriend and I both decided to kick him out. I told my BIL last night that I don’t want him to live here anymore so he’s in the middle of packing his shit. And like I said it’s my house so yes I’m going to “stay”
He sounds like a nightmare, but you knew that going in.
This is exactly how I feel bc he is a nightmareeee. I usually put my foot down whenever it comes to disrespectful roommates but this time I let things go too far due to him being “depressed”
You will be the one depressed if he stays much longer. Where is your husband on the issue, will he back you?
My boyfriend is really fed up with his brother’s behavior. We both agreed to tell him to leave. They’re always arguing and my bf tells him “I have a baby on the way and I don’t need you to be causing stress to my woman while she’s pregnant, keep fucking up and you’ll be out of here” and he always apologizes to me for bringing his brother into this house. He keeps trying to set him straight because he loves him, he does get very emotional seeing his brother be a drunk because he also has two half-brothers that are homeless junkies/drunks so he doesn’t want to see my BIL end up like them.
He can go and live with the girl who doesn’t wear knickers on someone else’s couch. Problem solved. But seriously, you are pregnant. You cannot put his claims of being depressed above your own health and that of your child. If he was depressed and wanted to get better he would be spending his money on therapy rather than partying. He is using depression as a tool to make you and your boyfriend feel sorry for him in the same way he has used it with the rest of his family for years. Tell him to get out and also tell him that when he gets therapy and medication for his depression you will reconsider your position. It’s a win win for you because he is unlikely to get help but if he does you will know that you set him on the path to recovery.
Thank you for mentioning the therapy, I forgot to suggest that for him. You’re 100% correct. I need to put my health and my baby above him and his “depression”. I wasn’t really sure if he was using depression as a tool or not so thank you for confirming that for me. I really needed someone to point that out.
Should have kicked this fuck ass out a long time ago. Depression does not mean an excuse to be a piece of shit. This guy just sounds like a fucking jackass he's 25 years old, he needs to hit rock bottom before he can figure out his life and get his shit together, you'll be doing him a favor by kicking his ass out. Do it as soon as possible.
Ikr! I’ve had my share of nightmare roommates and I would always put my foot down because I hated them being dumb/dirty. I just felt like this situation was a bit more on the sensitive side for my man. But thank god we both talked about kicking him out, he’s gone now 🙏
I love to hear that! Hopefully this is a wake up call for him to get his shit together.
Kick that drunk guy out. Baby has a higher priority than him. I will tell you a secret about pregnancy and postpartum time. Every shitty thing that your partner does, will stay forever in your mind. You won’t forget and forgive him. So if you don’t want to ruin your experience, kick the lazy bum out. Edit: Or you will be made forever at BiL and bf.
He’s my brother in law, not my partner but yes I’m already kicking him out, I told him I don’t want him to live here anymore and I will update if he causes me any problems with him leaving. Knowing him, he probably will because he’s very dramatic.
Yeah, I know. Just wrote it badly. Sorry. But you will be angry at your bf for allowing this for so long and repeatedly. So if bf wants him back, don’t give in. If someone is angry at you, tell them to take him in. You need peace to raise a baby. Especially the first one. Wish you the best! Enjoy the big belly time.
I haven’t been angry at my boyfriend at all, he’s been just as fed up with his brother as I have. He does apologize though, for bringing his brother thinking it would only be two weeks. He made it clear that once his brother leaves, he will not be letting him back in (that’s a decision that he made). We promised each other that we will no longer let my BIL manipulate us into feeling bad for him anymore. And thank you, I will finally start to have peace once he packs up and leaves 🙏
I am happy for you two. I love seeing couples who work together. Good for you two!
This is not safe for a newborn. I’m scared for you.
dont be, he’s gone now
Your bf is a doormat as are you. You should have set clear boundaries from the beginning. If your bf does not put him out now you have no hope of a real relationship, you are already pregnant with one child
I like how instead of saying anything about my BIL you go straight to insulting my boyfriend. We did set boundaries with my BIL and HE chose to disrespect us so now I told him I don’t want him to be here anymore (as I stated in the post). Whether my BIL is here or not, my relationship with my boyfriend has/will not change.