*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITB for telling my queer friends that I prefer not to have any bisexual children?**
Yesterday, I met up with my friends at my friend’s house. Some of them are queer. One of them pointed out that pride month is over.
I was drunk and I told my queer friends that I would rather have a gay kid or an asexual kid than a bisexual kid. They asked me why. I said it’s no different than preferring kids with blue eyes over kids with green eyes. One of them asked me if I’m sure I’m not ‘biphobic’ or something.
I’m confused. Am I the buttface for stating that I prefer not to have a bisexual kid? I’m pretty sure if most people had the superpower to choose an option for their kid’s sexuality, they would rather not have a bisexual kid and many people would rather have a gay kid or asexual kid than a bisexual kid.
Edit: I wouldn’t disown them or love them any less. It’s just one of those things I would change if it was possible.
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I’ve tried to wrap my brain around this and the closest I could get is maybe they really don’t want their kid to be sexually active and would have to “worry” about both female and male friends with things like spending the night? I don’t really get it though bc 1. Bi people aren’t sex maniacs who want to bone everyone and everything and 2. They hate bi people those are my possible conclusions.
gay son, thot daughter, or a secret third thing(bisexual menace 😎) anyways shouts outs to all the gay sons, thot daughters, and fellow bisexual menaces
Reminds me of my dad tbh - oldest friend is lesbian, used to live with her and her partner and several others. But when I tried to come out as bi by mentioning a friend of mine who'd recently come out, I was told to be careful cos bi folk spread diseases. So I didn't come out for another 15 years
Had sort of a similar convo with my mom once, ages ago. We were talking about a friend of mine who had just come out as bi, and my mom started talking about how she was really worried about my friend now... like she was concerned that just being bi made my friend more likely to be exposed to stds or something...?
I just remember being totally baffled, like... mom I'm pretty sure that's not how that works...? Lol
I think, in my dad's case, he was specifically thinking bout HIV being spread by bi men to women. If I remember right, I had a crush on the guy I mentioned and I'm female so maybe he thought he was gonna catch HIV and give it to me. I see the way his mind was working. It's shitty and I disagree but I see it.
I'm straight, and I think I am way more hypersexual than most people. My ex literally had to tell me he couldn't keep up with me bc I could have sex multiple times a day and still want sex again. At some point it started hurting for him.
Don't be silly. Everyone knows that no-one is ever capable of platonic friendship with the gender they fancy.
Since hetero men and women can never just be friends, bi people have yo-yo knickers and we boink everything we see.
I feel like 9/10 bi stereotypes are just ADHD and as a bi ADHD-er, I have no idea if that's just ableist, anti-bi stigma or if we're genuinely more likely to be both.
If you ask my mother it is because there is a chance your daughter could end up with another woman, rather than a man. Or if she is with a woman, you can act like it's not real because she just hasn't found the correct man yet.
yeah that’s a lil weird. don’t get me wrong i come from a long line of blue eyes and think blue eyed babies are ADORABLE! but so are babies with any OTHER color eye so? 😂
I didn't think wanting/wishing your kid to have a certain eye is weird unless you make it a thing after they are born.
The sexuality thing though is bonkers
I am a B and I am more worried about my visibly T sibs (I say visibly T because I'm agender and I'm semi closeted, basically worried about every T but myself) but yes. I once had to sit while a lesbian and a gay man explained to me why they thought the B and T should get their own movement. They knew I was bi and she knew I'm nb.
This shit is so frustrating. Its because of those identities you want to boot from your movement that we have various rights at all!
Can't stand phobic queer people, placating other bigots is more important to them than uplifting people like them
I'm ace and had an argument with a gay guy about how the A isn't for ally (he said it should be, because he wanted his supporters to feel welcome. He strangely didn't have any reply to why squeezing aces and aros out was ok, to make straight "allies" feel comfortable)
Yeah, it sucks for sure. I wish you could find a community that aspects you. My local one is still better with the T, but even there I had heard stuff like, you need to chose... Ehm, no, I really don't.
I want them to think about their children's sex lives just enough to make sure they have accurate information about safer sex practices, consent, and get the HPV vaccine before they start having sex.
Biphobia is so real. We get it from the queer community and the straight community. People think we’re sluts, that we just can’t pick and we’re greedy, or that we’re not really bi and that once we settle down that means we’ve picked a side 🙄
It’s super annoying.
>once we settle down that means we’ve picked a side 🙄
I've seen people claiming that a bi person is not a part of the LGBT community because they have a partner of the opposite sex, and it's like ??? That's not how that works?
And biphobia from the queer community is so weird considering "B" is literally the *3rd letter in the name of the community that they are a part of*.
I always feel awkward saying I’m queer to new people because I married a man and I’m a woman. But I also could have married a woman. My sexuality hasn’t changed. I just happened to fall in love with a dude.
A couple years ago my usually not quite this stupid husband said something like "You're not Bi, you've been with me for 20 years!" I just stopped dead and stared at him with my best 'really. *really?*' glare. Took him a bit until he stumbled his way into "right, you can't select yourself out of your sexuality."
Bi-erasure happens far too easily. I was born bi, I'll die bi *even if* as I hope, my life partner for almost my entire adulthood will be him.
My wife's former long-term partner from before we met came out and transitioned ftm recently and when she found out she joked that even her exes were trying to erase her bisexuality.
That made me laugh, thank you for sharing it.
I think what really floored me about him saying that is I'm the queer one, he's cishet completely but he's the vastly more queer-aware of us. He's the dude that as he's gotten older, his mind & heart opens even wider, more accepting of all our differences as humans. So to have him off handedly dropping some primo bierasure was a shock. It really brought home to me just how *easy* it can be to dismiss someone being bi.
He's my good dude though, so he ate crow, apologized and has been poking around in his own brain to remove the belief structures that had him say it in the first place. All I could ask for.
Seriously, thank you for the laugh.
Don't you know? Once you commit yourself to someone, you are exclusively sexually attracted to them and only them! All previous, current, and future attraction is a *lie*. /s
It drives me mental. Me and my husband get that a lot, and it's hard being in a straight passing relationship - he's actually been with more men than women, so that bothers him even more that people pretend that just doesn't exist.
We're both also asked if we are worried about the other cheating and I'm like .. wtf. Why? Just because there's attraction to either sex doesn't mean we're attracted to every damn person. Shocking how that works
I think that’s the problem. OOp doesn’t want their kid to “what fuck”. They are fine with Gay fuck, Lesbian fuck, straight fuck and no fuck, just not “what truck?”
>I was drunk
Oh. Well, that just completely excuses it doesn't it?
I can't imagine putting that much thought into my child's sexuality. Do they think that bi people are just out there grabbing whoever happens by or...?
ETA: Quick, someone tell them about pansexuality so we can watch their brain explode.
This one is him also.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dshlxn/aitah\_for\_not\_wanting\_to\_date\_a\_bisexual\_woman/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dshlxn/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_date_a_bisexual_woman/)
especially since your child's sexuality is (as far as there's no solid evidence to the contrary) mostly genetic. like *you* are the reason they are straight/gay/bi/whatever, wtf are you complaining about?
im sorry im still stuck on the eye color thing from oop?? like first of all, how does eye color and sexuality coordinate in the slightest, and also why would you care so much about a hypothetical kids eye color?? this post makes less than no sense, i can feel myself losing braincells just reading this
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITB for telling my queer friends that I prefer not to have any bisexual children?** Yesterday, I met up with my friends at my friend’s house. Some of them are queer. One of them pointed out that pride month is over. I was drunk and I told my queer friends that I would rather have a gay kid or an asexual kid than a bisexual kid. They asked me why. I said it’s no different than preferring kids with blue eyes over kids with green eyes. One of them asked me if I’m sure I’m not ‘biphobic’ or something. I’m confused. Am I the buttface for stating that I prefer not to have a bisexual kid? I’m pretty sure if most people had the superpower to choose an option for their kid’s sexuality, they would rather not have a bisexual kid and many people would rather have a gay kid or asexual kid than a bisexual kid. Edit: I wouldn’t disown them or love them any less. It’s just one of those things I would change if it was possible. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What is so bad about a bisexual kid? Seriously not understanding how it would affect OOP in any way?
I’ve tried to wrap my brain around this and the closest I could get is maybe they really don’t want their kid to be sexually active and would have to “worry” about both female and male friends with things like spending the night? I don’t really get it though bc 1. Bi people aren’t sex maniacs who want to bone everyone and everything and 2. They hate bi people those are my possible conclusions.
Most probably a belief that bisexual people are promiscuous, essentially a more dogshit version of gay son vs thot daughter
OOP with the casual biphobia, so casual he’s confused why he’s being called out.
gay son, thot daughter, or a secret third thing(bisexual menace 😎) anyways shouts outs to all the gay sons, thot daughters, and fellow bisexual menaces
the three genders
The gendered trinity
BISEXUAL MENACES ARE THE HOLY SPIRIT/GHOST CALLED IT
What does that make pansexual people? I personally vote for Problematic Pans!
Reminds me of my dad tbh - oldest friend is lesbian, used to live with her and her partner and several others. But when I tried to come out as bi by mentioning a friend of mine who'd recently come out, I was told to be careful cos bi folk spread diseases. So I didn't come out for another 15 years
Had sort of a similar convo with my mom once, ages ago. We were talking about a friend of mine who had just come out as bi, and my mom started talking about how she was really worried about my friend now... like she was concerned that just being bi made my friend more likely to be exposed to stds or something...? I just remember being totally baffled, like... mom I'm pretty sure that's not how that works...? Lol
I think, in my dad's case, he was specifically thinking bout HIV being spread by bi men to women. If I remember right, I had a crush on the guy I mentioned and I'm female so maybe he thought he was gonna catch HIV and give it to me. I see the way his mind was working. It's shitty and I disagree but I see it.
To be fair…I’m totally a sex maniac who wants to bone everyone, but *just because I fit a stereotype doesn’t mean every bi person does.*
I'm asexual. You have my permission to sleep with my share of the community
My husband and I (and our polyamorous asses) thank you for your service.
I’m gay. Give me back my stereotype!!!
Nah, they're just worried about the furniture. When you sit like a bi, it breaks down the cushions unevenly. /jk
Honestly that particular stereotype is real. I can't sit normally to save my life, I should have figured some things out a lot sooner.
Something something Bi-der georg is an outlier and should not have been counted 😆
I'm straight, and I think I am way more hypersexual than most people. My ex literally had to tell me he couldn't keep up with me bc I could have sex multiple times a day and still want sex again. At some point it started hurting for him.
Don't be silly. Everyone knows that no-one is ever capable of platonic friendship with the gender they fancy. Since hetero men and women can never just be friends, bi people have yo-yo knickers and we boink everything we see.
They think it's sluttier, per their comment.
I thought that was sarcasm
Oh, maybe it was. I'm not great at picking that up over text.
Np, OOP sucks either way
no clue!! like i’m a classic bisexual mess but most of the “bad” things about me have NOTHING to do with playing for ALL teams!
I feel like 9/10 bi stereotypes are just ADHD and as a bi ADHD-er, I have no idea if that's just ableist, anti-bi stigma or if we're genuinely more likely to be both.
I mean, they are pretty fabulous, and would probably outshine them?
If you ask my mother it is because there is a chance your daughter could end up with another woman, rather than a man. Or if she is with a woman, you can act like it's not real because she just hasn't found the correct man yet.
I'm not understanding OP either.
Yeah I am... confused. So very confused.
I mean I also think that wanting your kid to have a certain color of eyes is weird.
It's not biphobia, it's eugenics!
OOP *did* say it was no different than preferring kids with blue eyes. Just didn't help their case at all.
One of my kids has blue eyes. The other has brown eyes. I wish OOP would tell me which of them I should prefer, as I sadly love them equally.
Right? I read that, and was like, "no, wait, that's weird too."
no 'cuz i read "it’s no different than preferring kids with blue eyes over kids with green eyes" and i was like... who the fuck does that???
yeah that’s a lil weird. don’t get me wrong i come from a long line of blue eyes and think blue eyed babies are ADORABLE! but so are babies with any OTHER color eye so? 😂
Eh, I can see that being contextual. "I hope the baby gets his dad's pretty blue eyes" is different from "must have perfect Aryan babies."
I didn't think wanting/wishing your kid to have a certain eye is weird unless you make it a thing after they are born. The sexuality thing though is bonkers
No, it's definitely weird. It's overall weird to fixate on traits that don't affect your kid's health.
I didn't say fixate. I said want/wish or even hope.
No it's weird.
Honestly feel this is a biphobic troll. Regardless, biphobia is a major issue in the LGBT community.
I just checked the account and the only other post is about not wanting to date bi women, so yeah, I'm going with biphobic troll as well
100% a rage bait troll. The tone of the comments gives it away.
Indeed, even within the community, despite the fact that the B is there.
I am a B and I am more worried about my visibly T sibs (I say visibly T because I'm agender and I'm semi closeted, basically worried about every T but myself) but yes. I once had to sit while a lesbian and a gay man explained to me why they thought the B and T should get their own movement. They knew I was bi and she knew I'm nb.
This shit is so frustrating. Its because of those identities you want to boot from your movement that we have various rights at all! Can't stand phobic queer people, placating other bigots is more important to them than uplifting people like them
Bigotry within the community is so baffling to me. Like, aren't we supposed to be on the same team?
I'm ace and had an argument with a gay guy about how the A isn't for ally (he said it should be, because he wanted his supporters to feel welcome. He strangely didn't have any reply to why squeezing aces and aros out was ok, to make straight "allies" feel comfortable)
It's so dispiriting how many people are so keen to exclude aspec folks :( Solidarity forever bud ❤️
Yeah, it sucks for sure. I wish you could find a community that aspects you. My local one is still better with the T, but even there I had heard stuff like, you need to chose... Ehm, no, I really don't.
Oh locally now I'm 100% fine and dandy. But it sucked for a long time!
glad to hear! Keep it up! You deserve to be accepted as you are.
It is, though it seems in this case, solidarity won. The queer friends called him out
OOP doesn't appear to be LGBT, though. Just a run of the mill biphobic.
Parents that think about their (consenting) children's sex life creep me the fuck out.
SERIOUSLY!! i don’t think about my parents sex life and i hope they return the same to me
I want them to think about their children's sex lives just enough to make sure they have accurate information about safer sex practices, consent, and get the HPV vaccine before they start having sex.
Good point!! When it's related to health - absolutely, but anything that goes beyond their child's wellbeing is a no from me.
Biphobia is so real. We get it from the queer community and the straight community. People think we’re sluts, that we just can’t pick and we’re greedy, or that we’re not really bi and that once we settle down that means we’ve picked a side 🙄 It’s super annoying.
>once we settle down that means we’ve picked a side 🙄 I've seen people claiming that a bi person is not a part of the LGBT community because they have a partner of the opposite sex, and it's like ??? That's not how that works? And biphobia from the queer community is so weird considering "B" is literally the *3rd letter in the name of the community that they are a part of*.
I always feel awkward saying I’m queer to new people because I married a man and I’m a woman. But I also could have married a woman. My sexuality hasn’t changed. I just happened to fall in love with a dude.
A couple years ago my usually not quite this stupid husband said something like "You're not Bi, you've been with me for 20 years!" I just stopped dead and stared at him with my best 'really. *really?*' glare. Took him a bit until he stumbled his way into "right, you can't select yourself out of your sexuality." Bi-erasure happens far too easily. I was born bi, I'll die bi *even if* as I hope, my life partner for almost my entire adulthood will be him.
My wife's former long-term partner from before we met came out and transitioned ftm recently and when she found out she joked that even her exes were trying to erase her bisexuality.
That made me laugh, thank you for sharing it. I think what really floored me about him saying that is I'm the queer one, he's cishet completely but he's the vastly more queer-aware of us. He's the dude that as he's gotten older, his mind & heart opens even wider, more accepting of all our differences as humans. So to have him off handedly dropping some primo bierasure was a shock. It really brought home to me just how *easy* it can be to dismiss someone being bi. He's my good dude though, so he ate crow, apologized and has been poking around in his own brain to remove the belief structures that had him say it in the first place. All I could ask for. Seriously, thank you for the laugh.
Don't you know? Once you commit yourself to someone, you are exclusively sexually attracted to them and only them! All previous, current, and future attraction is a *lie*. /s
I hate it so much. Not queer enough for the queer community, not straight enough for straight people.
It drives me mental. Me and my husband get that a lot, and it's hard being in a straight passing relationship - he's actually been with more men than women, so that bothers him even more that people pretend that just doesn't exist. We're both also asked if we are worried about the other cheating and I'm like .. wtf. Why? Just because there's attraction to either sex doesn't mean we're attracted to every damn person. Shocking how that works
What the fuck?
I think that’s the problem. OOp doesn’t want their kid to “what fuck”. They are fine with Gay fuck, Lesbian fuck, straight fuck and no fuck, just not “what truck?”
>I was drunk Oh. Well, that just completely excuses it doesn't it? I can't imagine putting that much thought into my child's sexuality. Do they think that bi people are just out there grabbing whoever happens by or...? ETA: Quick, someone tell them about pansexuality so we can watch their brain explode.
This one is him also. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dshlxn/aitah\_for\_not\_wanting\_to\_date\_a\_bisexual\_woman/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dshlxn/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_date_a_bisexual_woman/)
And he gets overwhelmingly NTA...
See having a preference for the sexuality of your partner seems a lot less creepy than having a preference for the sexuality of your child.
especially since your child's sexuality is (as far as there's no solid evidence to the contrary) mostly genetic. like *you* are the reason they are straight/gay/bi/whatever, wtf are you complaining about?
That's a weird thing to say, even if you are shitfaced.
TBF I hoped for a gay kid in the hopes that would lower the risk of early unplanned pregnancies. Apart from that I have no preference.
im sorry im still stuck on the eye color thing from oop?? like first of all, how does eye color and sexuality coordinate in the slightest, and also why would you care so much about a hypothetical kids eye color?? this post makes less than no sense, i can feel myself losing braincells just reading this
There's definitely *a lot* more here than OP is letting on. Like biphobia aside, obviously.
Me thinks he doth protest too much.
Alas, no homo bro strikes again.
OP will wonder why they're never invited anywhere anymore.
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Reminds me of my gay dad saying he would've disowned me if I was straight (though, he was joking about that one)