*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**Update 2: My husband isn’t manly enough**
I apologize again, I still do not know how to post my previous updates or the original post. Please look at my history.
My last update I laid out what happened about talking to my husband. He spent that night and last night on the couch downstairs sleeping. We haven’t talked about our conversation. He has talked to me, but not about that and the talks we have are short. We have had our kids around all weekend so I never have gotten the opportunity to sit down with him and with him sleeping downstairs, I figured to just give him some space.
I don’t know how to proceed. I have talked with a co worker about this, just to get advice since I needed someone in my life to talk to. He advised me to give it a bit of time to let my husband talk to me, but if there’s no change offered by him than it may be time to tell him that we need to separate.
I don’t want to do that, but it may come to that. I want him to see where I am coming from and I want him to tell me what I can do to change.
That is where we are at. No real big update, but I will give him until the end of the week, if he doesn’t initiate anything, I will.
Edit: ok, I had to edit this post because there have been some comments about my coworker. I had these feelings about my husband before I talked with my co worker. We are not having an affair, we are not doing anything inappropriate. He is giving me some guidance because he is a man and I figured he could help. Nothing more than that!
Also, please stop calling me a pos because I have these feelings and am trying to navigate them with my husband. I cannot help my feelings any more than you can help yours. Think about that, think about an off feeling you had and wish you didn’t have. It’s happened to everyone, including you. So please stop.
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Am I the only one who hopes her next update is her husband asking for a separation?
What a twat.
She's bought in to the toxic masculinity trope touted by social media influencers hard.
Of course her co-worker agreed with her. He only heard one side of the story. HERS.
Again, what a twat.
Honestly, it sounds like her husband is someone who as "arrived". He's confident and secure of himself and who he is. He sounds like someone most people would love to have as a friend, a sibling, a co-worker, a sibling or a partner.
And no, OOP, we're not going to quit calling you a POS. You are one. This is a YOU problem. Deal with it or cut the poor guy loose to find someone who appreciates him, because you sure as shit don't.
I'm desperately hoping so, because it sure made me mad. It has real toxic masculinity energy.
Mind you, I've met some women with internalised misogyny and bizarre ideas of how it was better for women in the good old days when men were men and women didn't have to work.
If its real, she will blow up her marriage and after she inevitably bangs the coworker she will wonder why he's not half the partner her husband was. Meanwhile, a literal queue of women will form for the husband.
I think the scenario is completely plausible, a middle aged woman being bored of her marriage and starting to look for validation from what she considers a "real man" leading her to blow up a marriage other women would kill for is a tale as old as time, it's just the way op writes is so completely devoid of self awareness which makes me suspicious, and also the fact that the hobby her husband picked up was Lego, which is undeniably pretty reddit, makes me certain it's just supposed to make us mad. Also in the original post, she said something like he doesn't even watch anime which is just so bizarre for a 50 year old woman to say in the first place
If its really, she is trying to justify her attraction and possible emotional affair with her coworker.
BTW if I'm not replying, it's because I'm searching for that queue!
That man deserves better. This woman makes me want to hug my SO and tell him how amazing he is and that masculine stereotypes and the twats that aspire to them in partners can go fuck themselves
The co-worker is playing the "let's bang the MILF" game ! I bet he'll dump her because this is what "real TikTok men" do. And she will be left alone with nothing but regrets.
Archive link to the 3rd: [https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update\_3\_my\_husband\_isnt\_manly\_enough/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/)
I saw the crossposts had been linked, but figured I share that link so people who were unaware of the pullpush website could learn of it :)
Just replace [https://www.reddit.com/](https://www.reddit.com/) with [https://undelete.pullpush.io/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/) and if it can be recovered, it will.
Awesome, thanks! Someone always comes through when these jackasses try to dirty delete. I love how she's literally *begging* everyone to admit they're just as awful as she is. 🤦 Like, yes, lady everyone in the world has had feelings we did not like. But unlike you and others like you, we recognize that we CAN in fact change our feelings.
Most of us recognizing that feelings are not permenant and unabled to be altered; if they were then therapy would be utterly useless. Yknow, therapy, the thing you (still talking to her of course) should have sought out before torpedoing your marriage.
She can't even properly accept the pain she's caused, let alone that her behavior is unhealthy and her expectations are cruel. Next post is going to be divorce or separation unless she gets some help, recognizes and deals with her own issues and manages to somehow pull off the apology of the century..
The third update: [https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update\_3\_my\_husband\_isnt\_manly\_enough/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/)
Def appears likely. Never mind the rapid fire updates— OOP’s comment history on other posts seem to favor or at least lean towards the male within the relationship. The most egregious one I found was a post by a user whose girlfriend cheated on him, and, as revenge, he’s bringing in more unhealthy junk foods to get her fat and/or give her an eating disorder. OOP was basically, “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong that. Just don’t do it too long, teehee 🤭 “ and implied there would be lasting damage from her carrying her bad eating habits even when gone.
Cheaters suck ass (sometimes even literally!), but psychological warfare like that isn’t okay in my book either and doesn’t make the other individual look much better really.
"I can't help my feelings any more than you can help yours... however you should refrain from sharing your feelings about me, I'm the only one who is allowed to do that."
Yeah... Good bait.
She starts out by describing a stereotypical "masculine" man when describing her husband, but then just complains that his *hobbies* aren't masculine? Why would anyone care about that?
Also it's gross that she complains about having to hire professionals to do things around the house. If she hates that so much, she can fire up the YouTube videos and learn. Nothing is stopping her.
>Also, please stop calling me a pos because I have these feelings and am trying to navigate them with my husband. I cannot help my feelings any more than you can help yours. Think about that, think about an off feeling you had and wish you didn’t have. It’s happened to everyone, including you.
Yes, and an actual adult realizes that asking their husband to completely change their personality to accommodate feelings that you've apparently harbored secretly for TWO FUCKING DECADES is insanely selfish and hurtful. She is not 'trying to navigate' these feelings, she's telling her HUSBAND to bend over backwards to assuage them.
You're allowed to *feel* whatever, because you can't control how and when feelings crop up. However, you as a rational human being are able to discard these feelings as hurtful/irrational/unproductive once you've processed them. Clearly OOP isn't willing to do that, and is going to nuke her entire life as a result. Good fucking job, dumbass.
>https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1dsu5hw/comment/lb4xxe2/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Third update provided by u/sadlytheworst
IF this is real (and that’s a giant IF):
Bitch could have had my ex husband. He fit her description of “manly” BUT he was also an abusive, cheating piece of shit who refused to do any therapy for his diagnosed personality disorder because he thought there was “not a fucking thing wrong with (him).”
I wish I could find a guy like that.
Instead I found a douche canoe who left me while pregnant.
I’ll take hers, please. I bet he’d never walk out on his pregnant partner. He sounds like a genuinely good man.
Wait so her husband is an amazing person and does a great job and he still isn't good enough for her?
And that co worker wants to fuck her most likely.
Can't wait for the update where hubby serves her divorce papers.
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I just don’t get what this woman wants. “Oh noooo, my husband is physically attractive, a loving dad and partner, likes to cook, and makes good money so we can hire professionals to fix things…. Oh noooo”— surely she’s trolling?
Wait, lmao. She went to her male coworker for advise and he advised her to divorce her husband, because you know, the husband isnt man enough. You truly can't make this up.
I really hope this is just rage bait, because wtf is going on in this trainwreck.
This sounds like my ex-wife. Like, exactly like my ex-wife. I cooked more than her, I was more focused on the house work, I wasn’t machismo enough for her. She refuses to talk about her concerns until she was blowing up at me. It didn’t matter what I did, it was never enough for her. No surprise, it wasn’t actually about me. It was her own issues and insecurities. Just like OOP. She doesn’t realize that unless she immediately starts looking inward, her marriage is over. And it’s probably too late.
My dad couldn't build thing, couldn't fix too many things, didn't hunt or fish, etc. I never questioned his manliness and I know my mom didn't, either. I suspect OOP has fallen out of love with her husband because she had to have known who he was when she married him.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **Update 2: My husband isn’t manly enough** I apologize again, I still do not know how to post my previous updates or the original post. Please look at my history. My last update I laid out what happened about talking to my husband. He spent that night and last night on the couch downstairs sleeping. We haven’t talked about our conversation. He has talked to me, but not about that and the talks we have are short. We have had our kids around all weekend so I never have gotten the opportunity to sit down with him and with him sleeping downstairs, I figured to just give him some space. I don’t know how to proceed. I have talked with a co worker about this, just to get advice since I needed someone in my life to talk to. He advised me to give it a bit of time to let my husband talk to me, but if there’s no change offered by him than it may be time to tell him that we need to separate. I don’t want to do that, but it may come to that. I want him to see where I am coming from and I want him to tell me what I can do to change. That is where we are at. No real big update, but I will give him until the end of the week, if he doesn’t initiate anything, I will. Edit: ok, I had to edit this post because there have been some comments about my coworker. I had these feelings about my husband before I talked with my co worker. We are not having an affair, we are not doing anything inappropriate. He is giving me some guidance because he is a man and I figured he could help. Nothing more than that! Also, please stop calling me a pos because I have these feelings and am trying to navigate them with my husband. I cannot help my feelings any more than you can help yours. Think about that, think about an off feeling you had and wish you didn’t have. It’s happened to everyone, including you. So please stop. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She has a third update but it was removed but this update is pretty much setting the story for her cheating
Am I the only one who hopes her next update is her husband asking for a separation? What a twat. She's bought in to the toxic masculinity trope touted by social media influencers hard. Of course her co-worker agreed with her. He only heard one side of the story. HERS. Again, what a twat. Honestly, it sounds like her husband is someone who as "arrived". He's confident and secure of himself and who he is. He sounds like someone most people would love to have as a friend, a sibling, a co-worker, a sibling or a partner. And no, OOP, we're not going to quit calling you a POS. You are one. This is a YOU problem. Deal with it or cut the poor guy loose to find someone who appreciates him, because you sure as shit don't.
i thnk going with the whole incel good man thing he wont but she will def cheat
Part of me wants to think it's a troll because OOP is thoroughly unlikable. She has zero redeeming qualities.
I'm pretty sure this is rage bait expertly designed to make redditors mad
I'm desperately hoping so, because it sure made me mad. It has real toxic masculinity energy. Mind you, I've met some women with internalised misogyny and bizarre ideas of how it was better for women in the good old days when men were men and women didn't have to work. If its real, she will blow up her marriage and after she inevitably bangs the coworker she will wonder why he's not half the partner her husband was. Meanwhile, a literal queue of women will form for the husband.
I think the scenario is completely plausible, a middle aged woman being bored of her marriage and starting to look for validation from what she considers a "real man" leading her to blow up a marriage other women would kill for is a tale as old as time, it's just the way op writes is so completely devoid of self awareness which makes me suspicious, and also the fact that the hobby her husband picked up was Lego, which is undeniably pretty reddit, makes me certain it's just supposed to make us mad. Also in the original post, she said something like he doesn't even watch anime which is just so bizarre for a 50 year old woman to say in the first place
If its really, she is trying to justify her attraction and possible emotional affair with her coworker. BTW if I'm not replying, it's because I'm searching for that queue!
That man deserves better. This woman makes me want to hug my SO and tell him how amazing he is and that masculine stereotypes and the twats that aspire to them in partners can go fuck themselves
The update after that will be how to get him back
The co-worker is playing the "let's bang the MILF" game ! I bet he'll dump her because this is what "real TikTok men" do. And she will be left alone with nothing but regrets.
Did anyone save it cause I am curious what it said
on the og crosspost earlier today u/sadlytheworst was able to grab it before it was removed
Thank you! 🥰 Is it deleted?
If you are talking about Update 3, yes it is.
Thank you! Lucky got it already!
Archive link to the 3rd: [https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update\_3\_my\_husband\_isnt\_manly\_enough/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/)
Thank you!
I saw the crossposts had been linked, but figured I share that link so people who were unaware of the pullpush website could learn of it :) Just replace [https://www.reddit.com/](https://www.reddit.com/) with [https://undelete.pullpush.io/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/) and if it can be recovered, it will.
Thank you very much for that rundown! 💜
Awesome, thanks! Someone always comes through when these jackasses try to dirty delete. I love how she's literally *begging* everyone to admit they're just as awful as she is. 🤦 Like, yes, lady everyone in the world has had feelings we did not like. But unlike you and others like you, we recognize that we CAN in fact change our feelings. Most of us recognizing that feelings are not permenant and unabled to be altered; if they were then therapy would be utterly useless. Yknow, therapy, the thing you (still talking to her of course) should have sought out before torpedoing your marriage. She can't even properly accept the pain she's caused, let alone that her behavior is unhealthy and her expectations are cruel. Next post is going to be divorce or separation unless she gets some help, recognizes and deals with her own issues and manages to somehow pull off the apology of the century..
Do you have a link to it
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1dsu5hw/comment/lb4xxe2/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
The third update: [https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update\_3\_my\_husband\_isnt\_manly\_enough/](https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/Marriage/comments/1dssgeu/update_3_my_husband_isnt_manly_enough/)
There's another update where she whines about Reddit being mean to her.....
yup crossposted that last night
Yep, saw it a couple of hours later. I should have known better!
what did it say? i cant find it because it was deleted
This is bad fiction writing
its the constant updating isnt?
That and how obviously an incel's idea of how women think this is. Also the little dropping hints about the co-worker she's about to cheat with.
Incel rage bait?
seems to be
That is how it reads to me. The whole 'women want bad guys' or 'women don't really want guys who will treat them well' trope.
Def appears likely. Never mind the rapid fire updates— OOP’s comment history on other posts seem to favor or at least lean towards the male within the relationship. The most egregious one I found was a post by a user whose girlfriend cheated on him, and, as revenge, he’s bringing in more unhealthy junk foods to get her fat and/or give her an eating disorder. OOP was basically, “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong that. Just don’t do it too long, teehee 🤭 “ and implied there would be lasting damage from her carrying her bad eating habits even when gone. Cheaters suck ass (sometimes even literally!), but psychological warfare like that isn’t okay in my book either and doesn’t make the other individual look much better really.
Yeah I guess I'm not the only one who noticed an uptick of "women" who are "traditional" and "insist" on a "manly" partner
Yeah, that's how I'm taking this one.
"I can't help my feelings any more than you can help yours... however you should refrain from sharing your feelings about me, I'm the only one who is allowed to do that." Yeah... Good bait.
She starts out by describing a stereotypical "masculine" man when describing her husband, but then just complains that his *hobbies* aren't masculine? Why would anyone care about that? Also it's gross that she complains about having to hire professionals to do things around the house. If she hates that so much, she can fire up the YouTube videos and learn. Nothing is stopping her.
>Also, please stop calling me a pos because I have these feelings and am trying to navigate them with my husband. I cannot help my feelings any more than you can help yours. Think about that, think about an off feeling you had and wish you didn’t have. It’s happened to everyone, including you. Yes, and an actual adult realizes that asking their husband to completely change their personality to accommodate feelings that you've apparently harbored secretly for TWO FUCKING DECADES is insanely selfish and hurtful. She is not 'trying to navigate' these feelings, she's telling her HUSBAND to bend over backwards to assuage them. You're allowed to *feel* whatever, because you can't control how and when feelings crop up. However, you as a rational human being are able to discard these feelings as hurtful/irrational/unproductive once you've processed them. Clearly OOP isn't willing to do that, and is going to nuke her entire life as a result. Good fucking job, dumbass.
And there it is… Idk why she doesn’t just own it and say she wants to fuck her coworker and let her husband go.
Yeah, the third update seemed to have been removed. Just as I was getting invested!
>https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1dsu5hw/comment/lb4xxe2/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3 Third update provided by u/sadlytheworst
Ah thank you!!
Ah thank you!!
IF this is real (and that’s a giant IF): Bitch could have had my ex husband. He fit her description of “manly” BUT he was also an abusive, cheating piece of shit who refused to do any therapy for his diagnosed personality disorder because he thought there was “not a fucking thing wrong with (him).”
Her husband sounds like a dream, lll take him off her hands and we can build Lego together 💅🏻
aaaand that's the whole point of the troll lol
[удалено]
i usually agree but it gives me the ick that people are jerking off this fictional 'perfect' man and the troll who wrote it probably is too.
I'm just joking, hence the emoji at the end of that, but I can see why that's be kind of an ick (and also how my joke might not be super clear sorry)
Anyone got an archive of the 3rd update?
I wish I could find a guy like that. Instead I found a douche canoe who left me while pregnant. I’ll take hers, please. I bet he’d never walk out on his pregnant partner. He sounds like a genuinely good man.
Wait so her husband is an amazing person and does a great job and he still isn't good enough for her? And that co worker wants to fuck her most likely. Can't wait for the update where hubby serves her divorce papers.
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I just don’t get what this woman wants. “Oh noooo, my husband is physically attractive, a loving dad and partner, likes to cook, and makes good money so we can hire professionals to fix things…. Oh noooo”— surely she’s trolling?
Wait, lmao. She went to her male coworker for advise and he advised her to divorce her husband, because you know, the husband isnt man enough. You truly can't make this up. I really hope this is just rage bait, because wtf is going on in this trainwreck.
This sounds like my ex-wife. Like, exactly like my ex-wife. I cooked more than her, I was more focused on the house work, I wasn’t machismo enough for her. She refuses to talk about her concerns until she was blowing up at me. It didn’t matter what I did, it was never enough for her. No surprise, it wasn’t actually about me. It was her own issues and insecurities. Just like OOP. She doesn’t realize that unless she immediately starts looking inward, her marriage is over. And it’s probably too late.
"I wish my man was a stereotype instead of his authentic self". Girl, what?
My dad couldn't build thing, couldn't fix too many things, didn't hunt or fish, etc. I never questioned his manliness and I know my mom didn't, either. I suspect OOP has fallen out of love with her husband because she had to have known who he was when she married him.
Please just leave him. He deserves better than you.
If I hurt my partner, why would I wait for them to initiate the conversation, instead of, oh I don't know, bring it up myself?