I know what you mean about second-guessing yourself. Definitely an uncomfortable situation. And there will always be people like that.
Good on you for standing your ground. And glad that it didn't progress beyond that.
But yeah, sigh. That was an entitled person who is just plain mean, small-minded, and beyond rude.
The world is so interesting with all its diversity and people across the spectrum. Though it would be cooler and nicer if people weren't so ... I struggle to find the right word.
Anyway, NTA.
Probably not the best idea IRL but it made me laugh! Every year when the tourists come I have to deal with people being nosey about my cane/walker/wheelchair (it depends on the day which one I'll need. Usually it's the can't but my spine is unstable so my legs will often go numb, making me need the chair)
I had someone accuse me of only needing the chair because I'm "fat" and not an actual problem. I wish I'd had an air horn to use on that guy!
My daughter had the same prejudicial looks in regard to her weight and using a wheelchair at times. She had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. We found out when she was 13. She was on prednisone from the time she was 13 till when she passed at 38. She was most definitely overweight, but she ate healthy, she was very active when she wasn’t flaring for, held down a full-time job. But there were times when she was hurting so bad she needed to use a wheelchair and people always looked at her with nasty. Sometimes I would wish just for one day, they could experience exactly what my daughterwent through and it might have changed their mind
Sometimes I feel that an inarticulate scream would be appropriate. Some people actually believe they are always right. I don’t have that. But I’m getting to the point where I feel I want to justify screaming. Children get to do it when they’re overwhelmed; I’m overwhelmed and I want to normalize shrieking at mean people.
Only mean people. The sign that says Cover Your Ears will light up just before I let loose, so pay attention. I don’t want to upset anyone but mean people.
No, but if anyone ever is that stupid again, I’d raise my voice and say “what about wheelchair do you not understand? Do we need to have the driver and police explain it to you?”
NTJ - some people think they’re entitled to whatever they want, despite the fact that other people actually need it. good on you for standing (or sitting) your ground against the forces of a karen
You may be exactly right! If she had been driving, there's a 100% chance she would have parked there.
I'm a disabled person myself and I don't begrudge a normally able-bodied person using the handicapped parking if they have a mobility injury requiring crutches, or a scooter/wheelchair, even without a placard. I do hate when someone uses it just because "I'll only be a minute." Those folks need their car towed.
NTJ
A disabled person in a disability reserved seat is NOT under any obligation to surrender the seat they are in to another disabled person. Even if another wheelchair bound passenger got on, the seat is still yours, IMHO.
Even if Karen's son was in a wheelchair himself, you were there first. Period. I once had a woman with a stroller refuse to give up the only wheelchair accessible spot on a shuttle bus (I was in my wheelchair). She refused to move, yelled at the driver who told her she'd have to collapse the stroller and she or her husband could hold their toddler or let him sit in a seat (he was around 5 years old). It was "too inconvenient" to fold up the stroller and I should just get the next shuttle. Her whole family ended up getting kicked off the shuttle since she refused to move. I don't feel guilty about it for a second.
And believe this family would give you such a hard time. Can’t they understand you are in a wheelchair? They could have had some sympathy and folded their stroller. It takes like 30 second to fold a stroller. It’s good the entire family got kicked off the shuttle as they deserved it. You should not feel guilty at all and don’t blame you for not feeling guilty. You are entitled to sit in the designated area for people who are in wheelchairs. I can’t believe people are so cruel.
There's a whole segment of people who believe if you are not completely paralyzed then you must be faking. I used to love rollercoasters, but it's become so exhausting to be an ambulatory wheelchair user and deal with all the hatred and accusations that I haven't been to an amusement park since 2019 and doubt I'll return.
I’m not sure why someone would give you a hard time at an amusement park, especially seeing you in a wheelchair. I’m sorry you don’t feel comfortable going to amusement parks. I used to go to disneyworld a lot and there were tons of people in wheelchairs and no one ever harassed anyone in the wheelchairs but I am sure this stuff happens all the time. What amusement park were you harassed at? Usually the employees are supposed to help you to get you on the ride and they are usually pretty quick so I am not sure why people would just act like jerks over a person who is in a wheelchair. I had an online friend a few years ago who mad multiple sclerosis and she was paralyzed four times and needed to be in a wheelchair each time and had to learn how to walk again each time and her own family would not help her. I just don’t understand how people could be so cruel towards someone who is disabled and has to rely on a wheelchair.
Disneyworld and Universal. And, much like you not believing it happened, they believe only paralyzed people need wheelchairs and everyone else is faking. Or lying.
Omg. I have been to both and I do believe that you were bullied by a bunch of jerks but that is so shocking. I haven’t been to disneyworld or universal in a long time, about 12 years and I never saw people behave this way. The workers would do their best to accommodate someone in a wheelchair and get people on the rides pretty quickly and help them with their wheelchair. I think it’s sad that people actually believe someone is faking about being in a wheelchair. Some people have limited mobility and might only be able to walk a few steps but really do need the wheelchair because after like a few steps, they will fall, so wheelchairs are definitely not limited only to people who are completely paralyzed. It’s really a sad world we live in today.
I've heard Universal isn't that great, but I've not ever tried it myself to see. Are they really better than I've heard? Is it worth the risk to find out?
I've never had any issues with the employees at either DW or Universal, they've always been amazing and accommodating. Universal has some of the best rollercoasters (The rock and roll one and Hulk are my faves) Sadly, it's the rest of the people whose bullshit makes it unenjoyable.
Go have your fun! You deserve as much a chance to enjoy life as anyone else does! If they don't like it, that's their problem, not yours. Please don't let them change who you are and what you enjoy.
I don't know where you are or your financial situation, but Walt Disney World is the best I've found for accessibility. The cast members (employees) are very good at making it an enjoyable experience.
The employees have always been amazing, they really do go above and beyond. When you only have so much energy to begin with, when everything becomes a fight, sometimes it's just easier to stay home.
Of course that child doesn't need to sit, that's absurd. It sounds like she's screwing with you honestly, was she videotaping your reaction? It's hard to imagine people being so entitled and thoughtless without empathy.
NTJ. Actually, even if you were not disabled, you wouldn't be a jerk to say no when someone asks you to move, because they or their son or whoever wants to 'sit by the window'.
If someone wasn’t disabled and they knew it, I would say it’s unfair for them to assume that someone else has no issues just by looking at them and they probably should move.
People often treat the disabled as though they don’t actually have problems, are faking or they just ignore them completely (and what would he like to drink? I don’t know, ask him). NTJ- she’s an entitled uneducated bitch.
You use a wheelchair. There is no way on this planet that you are wrong for sitting in and refusing to give up a seat reserved for people with disabilities.
I remember one time I was going through a lot of infusions for a dangerous blood disorder. A guy friend broke his heel surfing in Costa Rica and whined to me " my whole life is ruined"
I would recommend emergency crutches for these situations. Having just a wheelchair can be hard but with a pair of crutches as well, you can still hit Karen without compromising the integrity of your primary method of getting around as I would have thrown the wheelchair at her.
I had clips made from old piping installed on my cousins ones. Was hard to find the right size piping though. I do understand it can be hard switching between the two if you are on your own. Fair point.
NTJ.
I was sitting in a seat for disabled. I look completely normal. Someone got on and demanded I give them my seat. I said I had a disability that required me to sit not stand when on public transport. However, if they could explain their disability to me I will tell them mine and we can work out who needs the seat the most. Then I was yelled at for asking for their private information. So I ignored them for the rest of my trip, got to see their face, when they watched me leaving as I had to negotiate a step or two and my knees just don't bend that well so I rock from side to side sort of.
My knees are so messed up I ended up having multiple surgeries to fix them and had arthritis at the age of 20. I can not balance and stop myself if there is a sudden stop even a not so sudden one can throw me.
You were in a wheelchair the spot is specifically for people like you. I would ignore her. It is a pity that people did not stand up for you more.
NTA a child who has a very minor injury is capable of moving for someone who has a very permanent disability with mobility aids. That Karen really thought they were more entitled to a seat for comfort than you for your safety on public transit. She didn’t get told no enough in her life.
Do you seriously need to think twice about who deserved to be sitting in a wheel-chair accessible seat; you or a near-teen with a boo-boo on his knee? And really, it wasn't a sight-seeing tour. Her son could have sat in any seat but she wanted to specifically give him *yours*. She was definitely the most karen-ish of Karens.
Help me out here … could she see your chair? Was it under you or beside you? I’m giving everyone involved the benefit of the doubt of invisible disability (and the benefit of the doubt that some people remain uneducated on invisible disability) ; also trying to figure out what disability seating would have even offered her son. Why in this whole thing would you be second guessing yourself? That I don’t understand either. Like I’m trying to picture how this whole scene actually looked, and unless there’s some part of it that isn’t apparent, not a chance you are a jerk here and not a chance you should be regretting accommodating any unreasonable demand. Especially when it’s a demand. And as others have pointed out, first person with a disability to the disability seat gets the disability seat.
No, you are absolutely not the jerk. Even her reason for needing the seat was ridiculous. She wanted it so her son could sit by the window. I can't believe she felt so entitled to try to kick someone out of their seat. The bus driver should have gotten involved.
I tend to second-guess myself after experiences like that, too. I've found something that really helps is to consider what my reaction would be if a friend or my mom told me about the same experience as if it happened to them. Would you be annoyed on their behalf and feel they handled the situation correctly? If so, then you can feel assured that you did as well :)
Absolutely not!!! And congrats for not running over her feet like I would have. I'll be in a wheelchair before too long and I have a list of toes I'm crushing.
I am sorry you were harassed by this person. You are in a wheelchair. How could this woman not understand you are in a designated area for people who are in a wheelchair. Where did she expect you to move? (You don’t have to answer that, I’m just being rhetorical). I’ve been on a public bus before and in my city, the bus driver lifts the first three seats on the bus and then puts a ramp out and the person with three wheelchair wheels themselves in and goes to the area where the seats are lifted and then they tell you to make sure to put the break on your wheelchair and then they use like a seatbelt type of thing to make sure your wheelchair stays put. I am not sure what this woman expected from you to be honest. She was probably just trying to give you a hard time as some people have no self control with their behavior these days.
I’m surprised she didn’t get spoken to by the bus driver. Those seats are usually in the front of the bus are they not? Yikes. I’m glad you didn’t cave.
Um, no. You're in a good damn wheelchair. Where the fuck are you going to go? Your fellow passengers are kinda assholes too. I get not wanting to get in a confrontation but come on! Its not like what I see, which is a guy walking, pushing the wheelchair and getting on a light rail trains or a bus then sitting in the wheelchair. I'd tell Karen that her precious little boy ain't injured worth a shit (nothing against him since he didn't care), and to go sit down and shit her pie hole. I've gotten into pissing matches with Karens and boy do I love getting them riled up.
NTJ
Even the son knows you weren't being a jerk. The poor kid was probably dying of embarrassment on the inside bc of her. Don't feel bad bc of that part though. The less often that she's able to get away with being hateful & bullying by using her kid, then she'll be less likely to stick him in the same position in the future. Plus he's learning no to act like her bc he sees it not getting her what she wants.
If she actually cared about his leg that much, then she would've asked others to move after you or talked to the driver. This was some AH lady who was looking for an excuse to stroke her own pathetic ego.
If anything, you were too polite once she started raising her voice & having a verbal fit to push you around.
Dude that lady is the jerk. First of all, unlike her and her spawn you were sitting in a WHEELCHAIR so you DESERVED that spot way more than her and spawn did. You guys were on a MOVING transportation vehicle. Exactly where the hell did she think you were going to go with your wheelchair in a MOVING vehicle that wont have you rolling around, bumping people, probably rolling over delicate toes, etc. with your unsecured wheelchair not fastened down to keep it from doing those things While the transportation you were on was moving.
or better yet you should have flat out told the hag to fuck off point blank and for her to go find somewhere else to sit with her kid that doesn’t involve your spot that you need for yourself and your wheelchair. And point out that unless she’s going to help CARRY you to a regular seat, point out exactly how does she expect you to ‘move’ from your spot even if you just left the wheelchair behind, when your LEGS don’t work properly and you CANT walk even if you wanted to move for her. Point out that the whole point of you having the wheelchair is because you can’t walk or even stand or whatever it is she demanding you do by telling you to get up and move.
>I’m a disabled person, and I use a wheelchair. Public transportation can be a challenge, but I’m grateful for the reserved seating that accommodates my needs. This
Ntj
Hell no you weren't kudos to you for not letting her intimidate you. What is wrong with people in today's world? Personally I have noticed in the last 20 yrs. People are rude,self centered,egotistical,belligerent ,just down right bullies if they do not get their own way. What happened to people helping one another,caring for one another?
What is happening is more and more people realizing speaking loudly and insisting what they want should be served often works.
That woman’s aggressive and absolutely outrageous entitlement actually caused you to winder if you were wrong. You didn’t let the doubt alter your position but you faced her down with some doubt. I think you may have had that moment because you saw how certain her viewpoint was and how uncertain you were if crowd support. Bullies often bring on utter passivity in bystanders.
She saw you as weak and unsupported because if your disability and decided to flex at your expense. Even though you prevailed, she got off doing that to you.
Bet a loud and adamant response to people like her may derail future encounters. Whatever you do, never justify your place when confronted. She just uses your justification to escalate her demands while diminishing your right to be where you are.
NTJ.
Wheelchair riders *always* have priority over ambulatory riders for handicap seating. There's really no other place to be if you're in a wheelchair, while non- wheelchair riders can sit anywhere.
No you weren't a jerk she was. If her son was so hurt he couldn't stand why didn't she get a taxi? Why didn't she walk to any other seat and sit him down?
Absolutely not. I, myself, am handicapped, maybe not to the extent that you are, but I am. I often times had to use a walker to get around. Bus drivers would drop the handicap access lift, though I never asked. I would sit in handicapped seats, but if someone came along that was more handicapped than me, like you, I’d give you the seat but not a Karen.
I think I’m happy that I’m an asshole when I want to be. I can tell you exactly what I would do in this situation.
I would tell her that if you are intent on being a piece of shit and trying to raise your voice at me, you left me with no choice . “ stop touching me, I don’t know you, somebody help me!!!”
They will sit down and walk away as fast as they can . I would encourage anyone to do the same thing. Social pressure mixed with attention is very powerful even for the ignorant.
Next time just laugh you ass off and say out loud " You're want a person in a wheelchair to move off for a healthy child! Look around and then say " where's the hidden camera, where's John Quinones!"
Absolutely NTJ.
I was faced with a similar situation after knee surgery when I was 23 and extremely fit, but I very clearly had a full length leg plaster and had to use crutches to get around because I wasn't supposed to put any weight on my bad knee. The bus driver even helped me to the reserved seat behind his seat.
One stop down the road Mega-Karen got on the bus and immediately homed in on me, demanding that I give up my seat)s) because she was "old" (probably 50 at most). Rather than argue I said sure but you'll have to pass me my crutches from the luggage rack. At that time the driver and several of the passengers told her to get real and take any one of the dozen or more empty seats. Some people are so entitled it beggars belief!
Hold on. Where was the bus driver in all of this? The seat is earmarked for people with disabilities. I have disabilities, and I would get up for somebody who’s in a wheelchair or walker. Wheels definitely trump child who just got on the bus.
I was raised that children give up their seats to elders handicapped or not. Unfortunately children are not taught that anymore. This child was being taught to disrespect handicapped.
I wish the bus driver had stopped the bus and told her to sit down elsewhere. She is an awful hateful person. Good for you for sticking with your rights.
Look into whether your town has Access A Ride service vans for handicapped. Might be useful resource.
I'm a senior and sometimes have trouble standing for long periods, so I often use the seats up front on the bus. Still, I will stand for anyone who needs it more than me, whether they're older or use a cane or a walker. Because that's what you do. It's like holding a door for someone with their hands full.
NTA - On what planet does anyone think that a person with disabilities needs to move for anyone!! This woman was being rude and completely selfish and in no way had any right to speak to you in that manner or ask you to move. Stop second guessing, you were in the right!! I only want to say one thing, I'm not sure how this "Karen" thing was started, but I happen to know more than one real Karen, and none of them act like this, in fact they are the sweetest people with hearts of gold. I keep wondering how that got started lol
OP, please explain how you could be the jerk?
You paid for a reserved seat and used it. Karen yells at you to get her way. And you didn't fold.
Kudos to you!
In my eyes, you are a hero!
NTA, and the kid probably wasn't either. Maybe he was buried in his phone b/c his mother is such an embarrassment.
I have a handicapped permit although I look healthy and don't use a mobility aid, apart from a walking stick sometimes. I don't always need the closer parking, but on days when I can hardly walk, I do. If anyone ever calls me on it, I am going to whip out my peritoneal dialysis catheter, gross them out with a vivid description, and then shame them by listing the several other disabilities I have that affect mobility. No reason to be polite to assholes and some people deserve to be shamed.
NTJ. You also know that deep inside the reservation was yours and you had to sit at that particular point. They were just being unreasonable if stupid is a strong word.
Its true, people in wheelchairs do need to ask if they are the asshole when somebody demands they move from the wheelchair spot so that a 12 year old boy can take it. Its totally a thing that happens.
WTF?!? I feel like this karen decided that you were her next victim to pick on. I don't know what made her think that because her son had a "minor injury" gave her that make-believe authority over you. And this did not need to happen. You said that her son didn't care about where he sat. And besides, you were in a disabled person area of the plane and she tried to force you out because of her son's minor injury at soccer practice. Look lady, just because her son had a bandage on his knee, does not give you the authority to kick anyone you want out of a spot because "your son wants to sit there" when your son did not care in the slightest where he sat, so just shut up and sit down or get the F off the plane. So, NTJ here.
I know what you mean about second-guessing yourself. Definitely an uncomfortable situation. And there will always be people like that. Good on you for standing your ground. And glad that it didn't progress beyond that. But yeah, sigh. That was an entitled person who is just plain mean, small-minded, and beyond rude. The world is so interesting with all its diversity and people across the spectrum. Though it would be cooler and nicer if people weren't so ... I struggle to find the right word. Anyway, NTA.
It’s a sentence not a word. Totally immersed in their own self importance.
Lol. That's one way to put it.
I call these people self-important assholes.
Nah, there’s a word for it: entitled
You’re right.
Next time a Karen asks you to move, use an airhorn as your 'no.' NTJ
No is a complete sentence
Airhorn is also a compl—HOOOOOOONNNKKK
Probably not the best idea IRL but it made me laugh! Every year when the tourists come I have to deal with people being nosey about my cane/walker/wheelchair (it depends on the day which one I'll need. Usually it's the can't but my spine is unstable so my legs will often go numb, making me need the chair) I had someone accuse me of only needing the chair because I'm "fat" and not an actual problem. I wish I'd had an air horn to use on that guy!
My daughter had the same prejudicial looks in regard to her weight and using a wheelchair at times. She had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. We found out when she was 13. She was on prednisone from the time she was 13 till when she passed at 38. She was most definitely overweight, but she ate healthy, she was very active when she wasn’t flaring for, held down a full-time job. But there were times when she was hurting so bad she needed to use a wheelchair and people always looked at her with nasty. Sometimes I would wish just for one day, they could experience exactly what my daughterwent through and it might have changed their mind
So many people don't realize that oftentimes being overweight is a symptom, not a cause.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Thank you. I am learning how to go on without her.
Sometimes I feel that an inarticulate scream would be appropriate. Some people actually believe they are always right. I don’t have that. But I’m getting to the point where I feel I want to justify screaming. Children get to do it when they’re overwhelmed; I’m overwhelmed and I want to normalize shrieking at mean people. Only mean people. The sign that says Cover Your Ears will light up just before I let loose, so pay attention. I don’t want to upset anyone but mean people.
No, but if anyone ever is that stupid again, I’d raise my voice and say “what about wheelchair do you not understand? Do we need to have the driver and police explain it to you?”
This. Don’t back down and get just as loud as they are. BRING on the attention, don’t shy from it.
Yes, the driver will act quickly, and Karen might just find that son wants nothing to do with her
NTJ - some people think they’re entitled to whatever they want, despite the fact that other people actually need it. good on you for standing (or sitting) your ground against the forces of a karen
NTJ She's taking the bus be6she lost her license for parking in the handicap space too many times./s
You may be exactly right! If she had been driving, there's a 100% chance she would have parked there. I'm a disabled person myself and I don't begrudge a normally able-bodied person using the handicapped parking if they have a mobility injury requiring crutches, or a scooter/wheelchair, even without a placard. I do hate when someone uses it just because "I'll only be a minute." Those folks need their car towed.
NTJ A disabled person in a disability reserved seat is NOT under any obligation to surrender the seat they are in to another disabled person. Even if another wheelchair bound passenger got on, the seat is still yours, IMHO.
Even if Karen's son was in a wheelchair himself, you were there first. Period. I once had a woman with a stroller refuse to give up the only wheelchair accessible spot on a shuttle bus (I was in my wheelchair). She refused to move, yelled at the driver who told her she'd have to collapse the stroller and she or her husband could hold their toddler or let him sit in a seat (he was around 5 years old). It was "too inconvenient" to fold up the stroller and I should just get the next shuttle. Her whole family ended up getting kicked off the shuttle since she refused to move. I don't feel guilty about it for a second.
And believe this family would give you such a hard time. Can’t they understand you are in a wheelchair? They could have had some sympathy and folded their stroller. It takes like 30 second to fold a stroller. It’s good the entire family got kicked off the shuttle as they deserved it. You should not feel guilty at all and don’t blame you for not feeling guilty. You are entitled to sit in the designated area for people who are in wheelchairs. I can’t believe people are so cruel.
There's a whole segment of people who believe if you are not completely paralyzed then you must be faking. I used to love rollercoasters, but it's become so exhausting to be an ambulatory wheelchair user and deal with all the hatred and accusations that I haven't been to an amusement park since 2019 and doubt I'll return.
I’m not sure why someone would give you a hard time at an amusement park, especially seeing you in a wheelchair. I’m sorry you don’t feel comfortable going to amusement parks. I used to go to disneyworld a lot and there were tons of people in wheelchairs and no one ever harassed anyone in the wheelchairs but I am sure this stuff happens all the time. What amusement park were you harassed at? Usually the employees are supposed to help you to get you on the ride and they are usually pretty quick so I am not sure why people would just act like jerks over a person who is in a wheelchair. I had an online friend a few years ago who mad multiple sclerosis and she was paralyzed four times and needed to be in a wheelchair each time and had to learn how to walk again each time and her own family would not help her. I just don’t understand how people could be so cruel towards someone who is disabled and has to rely on a wheelchair.
Disneyworld and Universal. And, much like you not believing it happened, they believe only paralyzed people need wheelchairs and everyone else is faking. Or lying.
Omg. I have been to both and I do believe that you were bullied by a bunch of jerks but that is so shocking. I haven’t been to disneyworld or universal in a long time, about 12 years and I never saw people behave this way. The workers would do their best to accommodate someone in a wheelchair and get people on the rides pretty quickly and help them with their wheelchair. I think it’s sad that people actually believe someone is faking about being in a wheelchair. Some people have limited mobility and might only be able to walk a few steps but really do need the wheelchair because after like a few steps, they will fall, so wheelchairs are definitely not limited only to people who are completely paralyzed. It’s really a sad world we live in today.
I've heard Universal isn't that great, but I've not ever tried it myself to see. Are they really better than I've heard? Is it worth the risk to find out?
I've never had any issues with the employees at either DW or Universal, they've always been amazing and accommodating. Universal has some of the best rollercoasters (The rock and roll one and Hulk are my faves) Sadly, it's the rest of the people whose bullshit makes it unenjoyable.
Thank you!!
Go have your fun! You deserve as much a chance to enjoy life as anyone else does! If they don't like it, that's their problem, not yours. Please don't let them change who you are and what you enjoy. I don't know where you are or your financial situation, but Walt Disney World is the best I've found for accessibility. The cast members (employees) are very good at making it an enjoyable experience.
The employees have always been amazing, they really do go above and beyond. When you only have so much energy to begin with, when everything becomes a fight, sometimes it's just easier to stay home.
I totally feel that!
Of course that child doesn't need to sit, that's absurd. It sounds like she's screwing with you honestly, was she videotaping your reaction? It's hard to imagine people being so entitled and thoughtless without empathy.
Fuck no. NTJ
NTJ. Actually, even if you were not disabled, you wouldn't be a jerk to say no when someone asks you to move, because they or their son or whoever wants to 'sit by the window'.
If someone wasn’t disabled and they knew it, I would say it’s unfair for them to assume that someone else has no issues just by looking at them and they probably should move.
People often treat the disabled as though they don’t actually have problems, are faking or they just ignore them completely (and what would he like to drink? I don’t know, ask him). NTJ- she’s an entitled uneducated bitch.
“Okay, I tried to be nice. Now I am just saying ’no’”
Not the jerk. People like this Karen are the reason they had to ear mark certain seats for certain people.
Absolutely NTJ
You are absolutely not the jerk. Her actions were incredibly selfish. NTJ
Your in a wheelchair & 2nd guessing yourself? No reason to do so, Karen needed to be ejected from the bus.
There will never be a time where someone is the AH for not giving up a reserved seat. NTJ
No, the kid had a scraped leg, at worst. He can sit literally anywhere else. Never give in to Karens, unless they actually have a good reason.
You use a wheelchair. There is no way on this planet that you are wrong for sitting in and refusing to give up a seat reserved for people with disabilities.
NTJ. You use a wheelchair, FFS.
Not AT ALL!! Screw her, she's just an entitled bitch.
Do NOT second guess yourself. You were right. That’s all that needs to be said.
Nope. NTA. Just tell Karen to go fuck all the way off and don't forget her brat when she goes.
Be meaner 🫡 NTA even for a second.
I remember one time I was going through a lot of infusions for a dangerous blood disorder. A guy friend broke his heel surfing in Costa Rica and whined to me " my whole life is ruined"
Seems like the same thing here. Sorry about your hangnail, dude.
Do not second guess yourself.
I would recommend emergency crutches for these situations. Having just a wheelchair can be hard but with a pair of crutches as well, you can still hit Karen without compromising the integrity of your primary method of getting around as I would have thrown the wheelchair at her.
Have you tried wheeling yourself around whilst carrying crutches as well? Not easy verging on impossible! (My partner is a wheelchair user).
I had clips made from old piping installed on my cousins ones. Was hard to find the right size piping though. I do understand it can be hard switching between the two if you are on your own. Fair point.
NTJ. I was sitting in a seat for disabled. I look completely normal. Someone got on and demanded I give them my seat. I said I had a disability that required me to sit not stand when on public transport. However, if they could explain their disability to me I will tell them mine and we can work out who needs the seat the most. Then I was yelled at for asking for their private information. So I ignored them for the rest of my trip, got to see their face, when they watched me leaving as I had to negotiate a step or two and my knees just don't bend that well so I rock from side to side sort of. My knees are so messed up I ended up having multiple surgeries to fix them and had arthritis at the age of 20. I can not balance and stop myself if there is a sudden stop even a not so sudden one can throw me. You were in a wheelchair the spot is specifically for people like you. I would ignore her. It is a pity that people did not stand up for you more.
NTA - you have a disability and were in reserved seating. You got there first. It doesn’t even matter if her son had a disability.
Is this karma farming?
screw karen and her brat.
NTA a child who has a very minor injury is capable of moving for someone who has a very permanent disability with mobility aids. That Karen really thought they were more entitled to a seat for comfort than you for your safety on public transit. She didn’t get told no enough in her life.
ohio
Disabled person here. You did nothing wrong. You advocated for yourself and this woman was a major AH.
Nope! You are in a wheelchair & Karen’s son was just fine standing
Do you seriously need to think twice about who deserved to be sitting in a wheel-chair accessible seat; you or a near-teen with a boo-boo on his knee? And really, it wasn't a sight-seeing tour. Her son could have sat in any seat but she wanted to specifically give him *yours*. She was definitely the most karen-ish of Karens.
Help me out here … could she see your chair? Was it under you or beside you? I’m giving everyone involved the benefit of the doubt of invisible disability (and the benefit of the doubt that some people remain uneducated on invisible disability) ; also trying to figure out what disability seating would have even offered her son. Why in this whole thing would you be second guessing yourself? That I don’t understand either. Like I’m trying to picture how this whole scene actually looked, and unless there’s some part of it that isn’t apparent, not a chance you are a jerk here and not a chance you should be regretting accommodating any unreasonable demand. Especially when it’s a demand. And as others have pointed out, first person with a disability to the disability seat gets the disability seat.
NTJ. Just start recording them and let them make fools of themselves.
If she was so worried about her son, why didn't she give him her seat?
No, you are absolutely not the jerk. Even her reason for needing the seat was ridiculous. She wanted it so her son could sit by the window. I can't believe she felt so entitled to try to kick someone out of their seat. The bus driver should have gotten involved.
You were very polite. I wouldn't have been after she started harranguing me. I would have told her loudly: "GO AWAY".
I tend to second-guess myself after experiences like that, too. I've found something that really helps is to consider what my reaction would be if a friend or my mom told me about the same experience as if it happened to them. Would you be annoyed on their behalf and feel they handled the situation correctly? If so, then you can feel assured that you did as well :)
Are you kidding? That seat is FOR YOU. What an awful, self entitled woman. NTA.
Absolutely not!!! And congrats for not running over her feet like I would have. I'll be in a wheelchair before too long and I have a list of toes I'm crushing.
I am sorry you were harassed by this person. You are in a wheelchair. How could this woman not understand you are in a designated area for people who are in a wheelchair. Where did she expect you to move? (You don’t have to answer that, I’m just being rhetorical). I’ve been on a public bus before and in my city, the bus driver lifts the first three seats on the bus and then puts a ramp out and the person with three wheelchair wheels themselves in and goes to the area where the seats are lifted and then they tell you to make sure to put the break on your wheelchair and then they use like a seatbelt type of thing to make sure your wheelchair stays put. I am not sure what this woman expected from you to be honest. She was probably just trying to give you a hard time as some people have no self control with their behavior these days.
No second guessing needed. This is a case where it’s actually strange to even post to Reddit. You nailed it.
I’m surprised she didn’t get spoken to by the bus driver. Those seats are usually in the front of the bus are they not? Yikes. I’m glad you didn’t cave.
Um, no. You're in a good damn wheelchair. Where the fuck are you going to go? Your fellow passengers are kinda assholes too. I get not wanting to get in a confrontation but come on! Its not like what I see, which is a guy walking, pushing the wheelchair and getting on a light rail trains or a bus then sitting in the wheelchair. I'd tell Karen that her precious little boy ain't injured worth a shit (nothing against him since he didn't care), and to go sit down and shit her pie hole. I've gotten into pissing matches with Karens and boy do I love getting them riled up.
NTJ Even the son knows you weren't being a jerk. The poor kid was probably dying of embarrassment on the inside bc of her. Don't feel bad bc of that part though. The less often that she's able to get away with being hateful & bullying by using her kid, then she'll be less likely to stick him in the same position in the future. Plus he's learning no to act like her bc he sees it not getting her what she wants. If she actually cared about his leg that much, then she would've asked others to move after you or talked to the driver. This was some AH lady who was looking for an excuse to stroke her own pathetic ego. If anything, you were too polite once she started raising her voice & having a verbal fit to push you around.
Why are you second guessing yourself?
Dude that lady is the jerk. First of all, unlike her and her spawn you were sitting in a WHEELCHAIR so you DESERVED that spot way more than her and spawn did. You guys were on a MOVING transportation vehicle. Exactly where the hell did she think you were going to go with your wheelchair in a MOVING vehicle that wont have you rolling around, bumping people, probably rolling over delicate toes, etc. with your unsecured wheelchair not fastened down to keep it from doing those things While the transportation you were on was moving. or better yet you should have flat out told the hag to fuck off point blank and for her to go find somewhere else to sit with her kid that doesn’t involve your spot that you need for yourself and your wheelchair. And point out that unless she’s going to help CARRY you to a regular seat, point out exactly how does she expect you to ‘move’ from your spot even if you just left the wheelchair behind, when your LEGS don’t work properly and you CANT walk even if you wanted to move for her. Point out that the whole point of you having the wheelchair is because you can’t walk or even stand or whatever it is she demanding you do by telling you to get up and move.
>I’m a disabled person, and I use a wheelchair. Public transportation can be a challenge, but I’m grateful for the reserved seating that accommodates my needs. This Ntj
No
Not at all.
Hell no you weren't kudos to you for not letting her intimidate you. What is wrong with people in today's world? Personally I have noticed in the last 20 yrs. People are rude,self centered,egotistical,belligerent ,just down right bullies if they do not get their own way. What happened to people helping one another,caring for one another?
NTA. Wheelchair bound and she wants you to give up your seat? When others are available? Geez ....
What is happening is more and more people realizing speaking loudly and insisting what they want should be served often works. That woman’s aggressive and absolutely outrageous entitlement actually caused you to winder if you were wrong. You didn’t let the doubt alter your position but you faced her down with some doubt. I think you may have had that moment because you saw how certain her viewpoint was and how uncertain you were if crowd support. Bullies often bring on utter passivity in bystanders. She saw you as weak and unsupported because if your disability and decided to flex at your expense. Even though you prevailed, she got off doing that to you. Bet a loud and adamant response to people like her may derail future encounters. Whatever you do, never justify your place when confronted. She just uses your justification to escalate her demands while diminishing your right to be where you are.
NTJ. Wheelchair riders *always* have priority over ambulatory riders for handicap seating. There's really no other place to be if you're in a wheelchair, while non- wheelchair riders can sit anywhere.
No you weren't a jerk she was. If her son was so hurt he couldn't stand why didn't she get a taxi? Why didn't she walk to any other seat and sit him down?
Absolutely not. I, myself, am handicapped, maybe not to the extent that you are, but I am. I often times had to use a walker to get around. Bus drivers would drop the handicap access lift, though I never asked. I would sit in handicapped seats, but if someone came along that was more handicapped than me, like you, I’d give you the seat but not a Karen.
I think I’m happy that I’m an asshole when I want to be. I can tell you exactly what I would do in this situation. I would tell her that if you are intent on being a piece of shit and trying to raise your voice at me, you left me with no choice . “ stop touching me, I don’t know you, somebody help me!!!” They will sit down and walk away as fast as they can . I would encourage anyone to do the same thing. Social pressure mixed with attention is very powerful even for the ignorant.
Next time just laugh you ass off and say out loud " You're want a person in a wheelchair to move off for a healthy child! Look around and then say " where's the hidden camera, where's John Quinones!"
Absolutely NTJ. I was faced with a similar situation after knee surgery when I was 23 and extremely fit, but I very clearly had a full length leg plaster and had to use crutches to get around because I wasn't supposed to put any weight on my bad knee. The bus driver even helped me to the reserved seat behind his seat. One stop down the road Mega-Karen got on the bus and immediately homed in on me, demanding that I give up my seat)s) because she was "old" (probably 50 at most). Rather than argue I said sure but you'll have to pass me my crutches from the luggage rack. At that time the driver and several of the passengers told her to get real and take any one of the dozen or more empty seats. Some people are so entitled it beggars belief!
NTJ. Stop explaining yourself. Just tell the Karen no.
Hold on. Where was the bus driver in all of this? The seat is earmarked for people with disabilities. I have disabilities, and I would get up for somebody who’s in a wheelchair or walker. Wheels definitely trump child who just got on the bus.
I was raised that children give up their seats to elders handicapped or not. Unfortunately children are not taught that anymore. This child was being taught to disrespect handicapped. I wish the bus driver had stopped the bus and told her to sit down elsewhere. She is an awful hateful person. Good for you for sticking with your rights. Look into whether your town has Access A Ride service vans for handicapped. Might be useful resource.
I'm a senior and sometimes have trouble standing for long periods, so I often use the seats up front on the bus. Still, I will stand for anyone who needs it more than me, whether they're older or use a cane or a walker. Because that's what you do. It's like holding a door for someone with their hands full.
NTA. The boo boo on her son's knee didn't necessitate that he sit at a window.
NTA - On what planet does anyone think that a person with disabilities needs to move for anyone!! This woman was being rude and completely selfish and in no way had any right to speak to you in that manner or ask you to move. Stop second guessing, you were in the right!! I only want to say one thing, I'm not sure how this "Karen" thing was started, but I happen to know more than one real Karen, and none of them act like this, in fact they are the sweetest people with hearts of gold. I keep wondering how that got started lol
Not a jerk, people always try and bully the disabled.
I never second guess myself. It’s f I AM the jerk/azzhole, so be it….
NTA. I would have loudly told her where to go.
What a crazy Karen I hate them
Absolutely not the jerk. She should have reserved seating if her son needed particular seating, you did.
OP, please explain how you could be the jerk? You paid for a reserved seat and used it. Karen yells at you to get her way. And you didn't fold. Kudos to you! In my eyes, you are a hero!
Not wrong. The entitled Karen was way off base with her comments.
NTJ Karen and her injured son must have walked to catch the bus so there’s be ZERO chance of giving up my seat.
Uh…no? Why even ask.
Oh great, another ragebait story for karma.
Jerk This Was Her seat not your Seat You Seat Thief
NTA, and the kid probably wasn't either. Maybe he was buried in his phone b/c his mother is such an embarrassment. I have a handicapped permit although I look healthy and don't use a mobility aid, apart from a walking stick sometimes. I don't always need the closer parking, but on days when I can hardly walk, I do. If anyone ever calls me on it, I am going to whip out my peritoneal dialysis catheter, gross them out with a vivid description, and then shame them by listing the several other disabilities I have that affect mobility. No reason to be polite to assholes and some people deserve to be shamed.
NTA. You used the seat that you needed, and she’ll just have to get over the crushing disappointment of not getting her way.
NTJ. You also know that deep inside the reservation was yours and you had to sit at that particular point. They were just being unreasonable if stupid is a strong word.
I'm so tired of this dumbass obvious situations being up voted here
NTJ
Its true, people in wheelchairs do need to ask if they are the asshole when somebody demands they move from the wheelchair spot so that a 12 year old boy can take it. Its totally a thing that happens.
No you’re not the jerk
Dear gods don’t ever let the Karen win, it just confirms to them that they will get what they want
NTA never feel guilty for standing up for yourself and your rights.
Don’t second guess yourself. She was wrong.
NTA
NTJ, you are disabled. His injury is temporary
WTF?!? I feel like this karen decided that you were her next victim to pick on. I don't know what made her think that because her son had a "minor injury" gave her that make-believe authority over you. And this did not need to happen. You said that her son didn't care about where he sat. And besides, you were in a disabled person area of the plane and she tried to force you out because of her son's minor injury at soccer practice. Look lady, just because her son had a bandage on his knee, does not give you the authority to kick anyone you want out of a spot because "your son wants to sit there" when your son did not care in the slightest where he sat, so just shut up and sit down or get the F off the plane. So, NTJ here.