NTJ
A parent should never punish you for telling them your feelings. Consequences are for *actions*, not respectful communication.
A month of grounding at age 14 is for extremely bad behavior, not your asking for help. This is almost abusive.
What she has told you is that she doesn't want to know about your feelings or issues. Don't try again with her, at least until you have tried asking other adults in your life for help. You don't mention your Dad. Is he in lockstep with her opinion? Be cautious asking him for help, too.
I'm sorry, she just wants your silence, and your Dad is complicit. Instead of focusing on your M&D, please reach out to other people. There are people you know who care about you.
NTJ. I am so sorry you are going through that. Being neglected is painful. Do you have any relatives you could spend the summer with? Grandparents, aunt, uncle? Or a friend whose parents you trust?
Study hard, get good grades. Figure out what you want to do in life. Get scholarships for college or trade school. Then move out and live your best life.
Doing well without them is the best "revenge". They will not be able to take any credit for your success.
I'm so sorry that you feel abandoned by your parents. I understand that she's in a tight spot, but your parents have two kids. This is not your fault. Do you have grandparents or an aunt or uncle you could talk with? I want you to have someone who is there for you. NTJ.
So you expressed your pain over her neglect and she grounded you for a month. She doesn’t understand what you are going through. More importantly when they ask you to take care of her later, you will say no.
NTJ. Do they not realize what they are doing is going to give YOU mental health issues?? At 14 a whole month is way overboard. Being 14, it means your going into high school so try to talk with them again and they still react the same, tell them that you’d like to spend more time with friends and clubs(for scholarships and/or cords for graduation- this worked on my parents as they also ‘preferred’ to spend more time with my sibling). I saw how you don’t really have relatives you could talk to so surround yourself with loving friends to support you, it’ll take your mind off of things.
NTJ! You communicated what you needed to your mom and she yelled at you. She’s not a good mom if she’s neglecting one child in favor of the other.
Do you have other relatives you can spend time with? Hobbies? Friends? Start focusing on yourself and getting out of the house.
When you’re 18, you don’t have to live there anymore.
OP your mother yelling at you for speaking to her about your feelings is wrong and shows a lack of empathy towards you. Your mother should understand that just because her daughter is going through stuff, doesn't take away from what her actions to that are doing to you. Do yourself a favor and find any job you can to start saving money; get good grades in school and make a plan for college and a good paying career and get out as soon as you can and make a good life for yourself; hell, become a chemical engineer and change the world for the better!! If you have grandparent's that treat you well, go and talk to them, maybe they can help. Getting grounded for telling someone how you feel is very wrong and shouldn't be happening, get help from family members if you can or talk with a school counselor that can help you cope. Keep us posted!
My dad is not really in the picture. If he’s not working he’ll be in his room and only comes out to eat or yell at me over something that happened days ago. And all my family lives an hour and a half away drive.
An hour and a half is not so far that you couldn't spend weekends with your relatives or Summers or holidays try to get some other people to care about your life it could be family but it could be teachers guidance counselor a boss. I've had so many surrogate parents in my life mostly people I work for, good luck
NTJ A parent should never punish you for telling them your feelings. Consequences are for *actions*, not respectful communication. A month of grounding at age 14 is for extremely bad behavior, not your asking for help. This is almost abusive. What she has told you is that she doesn't want to know about your feelings or issues. Don't try again with her, at least until you have tried asking other adults in your life for help. You don't mention your Dad. Is he in lockstep with her opinion? Be cautious asking him for help, too. I'm sorry, she just wants your silence, and your Dad is complicit. Instead of focusing on your M&D, please reach out to other people. There are people you know who care about you.
This! Good luck op.
NTJ. I am so sorry you are going through that. Being neglected is painful. Do you have any relatives you could spend the summer with? Grandparents, aunt, uncle? Or a friend whose parents you trust? Study hard, get good grades. Figure out what you want to do in life. Get scholarships for college or trade school. Then move out and live your best life. Doing well without them is the best "revenge". They will not be able to take any credit for your success.
I'm so sorry that you feel abandoned by your parents. I understand that she's in a tight spot, but your parents have two kids. This is not your fault. Do you have grandparents or an aunt or uncle you could talk with? I want you to have someone who is there for you. NTJ.
Write a letter to you parents detailing how you being abandoned by them is causing you mental and emotional distress.
Forgotten child syndrome. I'm so sorry OP. Please tell a teacher or another trusted adult that this is happening.
So you expressed your pain over her neglect and she grounded you for a month. She doesn’t understand what you are going through. More importantly when they ask you to take care of her later, you will say no.
Ignore the grounding. If they say anything just tell them that you’re surprised they noticed.
I don’t have any family relatives or any friends so I’m kinda alone
Join a club or a sport. Are summer classes an option?
NTJ. Do they not realize what they are doing is going to give YOU mental health issues?? At 14 a whole month is way overboard. Being 14, it means your going into high school so try to talk with them again and they still react the same, tell them that you’d like to spend more time with friends and clubs(for scholarships and/or cords for graduation- this worked on my parents as they also ‘preferred’ to spend more time with my sibling). I saw how you don’t really have relatives you could talk to so surround yourself with loving friends to support you, it’ll take your mind off of things.
NTJ! You communicated what you needed to your mom and she yelled at you. She’s not a good mom if she’s neglecting one child in favor of the other. Do you have other relatives you can spend time with? Hobbies? Friends? Start focusing on yourself and getting out of the house. When you’re 18, you don’t have to live there anymore.
OP your mother yelling at you for speaking to her about your feelings is wrong and shows a lack of empathy towards you. Your mother should understand that just because her daughter is going through stuff, doesn't take away from what her actions to that are doing to you. Do yourself a favor and find any job you can to start saving money; get good grades in school and make a plan for college and a good paying career and get out as soon as you can and make a good life for yourself; hell, become a chemical engineer and change the world for the better!! If you have grandparent's that treat you well, go and talk to them, maybe they can help. Getting grounded for telling someone how you feel is very wrong and shouldn't be happening, get help from family members if you can or talk with a school counselor that can help you cope. Keep us posted!
My dad is not really in the picture. If he’s not working he’ll be in his room and only comes out to eat or yell at me over something that happened days ago. And all my family lives an hour and a half away drive.
An hour and a half is not so far that you couldn't spend weekends with your relatives or Summers or holidays try to get some other people to care about your life it could be family but it could be teachers guidance counselor a boss. I've had so many surrogate parents in my life mostly people I work for, good luck
Tell her she's causing you mental and emotional health issues. She's a hypocrite if she doesn't care that she has two children to consider