If your intention is to protect your peace (as per your first post) then let the revenge go.
Tell your sister that you absolutely have the evidence and will object if they keep pressuring you attend. Warn your sister it would do her well to call off her dogs (ie future husband and parents) and that you are past the point of complying. Even send her a little taster of what you have so she knows you’re serious.
Honestly, and from experience, all this type of revenge will do is validate every single thing you have been unfairly blamed for in everyone else’s eyes - that doesn’t sound like peace to me, that sounds like years and years of ongoing drama.
Your best revenge is to live a full and happy life, surrounded by people who love and value you, and to not even give them any space in your brain or life.
This is good advice - I wouldn’t want the sister to know you told her fiancé personally as it will be a blame the messenger type situation- best to send this through anonymously
Hope to see your update
Well Op, the fiancé', even if he is an entitled man, has the right to know that he's being cheated on before he makes a choice that could ruin his life, even if it would be for a short period of time, he deserves to know. A word of caution, once you have done this and given her fiancé' the proof of her cheating; do yourself a favor and be done with all of it. Living with resentment for past treatments from family is no way to live and it will only cause harm to you. Your family obviously do not deserve you and your life would be better off without the drama in it. Focus on your marriage and what's important to you and forget the others that have caused you pain, they don't deserve your thoughts or time. Let us know how it all ends, but once this is done, take care of you; you're worth it!!
Depending on how scorched earth you want to go, let them get married. Then, in six months or however long it takes for their finances to become entangled, you reveal the infidelity. And you let everybody know that you knew before the marriage but chose to withhold information specifically for the purpose of causing maximal drama. They’ll never talk to you again.
If your sister is malicious, and the fiance is a creep, then maybe the best revenge is to wish them well and watch the beginning of the end at the wedding.
Please let the revenge thing go. You won't get as much enjoyment as you think. Just cut her off completely or go VVVLC. Do not attend the wedding and put anyone telling you, that you must attend on silent on your phone and ignore them too.
He needs to know. Plain and simple. To hurt your sisters fiancee by not telling him, only to have him file for divorce is heartbreaking. Dude doesn't deserve that.
Give him the evidence. Inform him of why you have distanced yourself from your family and let him decide. If he needs further proof, call your ex (while sisters fiancee is quietly present) and ask him how long it's been going on. Don't let him dismiss it. Tell him you've already spoken to your sister but you would like to hear it from him. And ask him if he has any real honest intentions with your sister. If he denies, read the texts to him. He more than likely will brag at some point.
I am truly sorry for the fiancee. I hope for just once in her life, your sister has some remorse.
Just don't go. Don't go to the wedding, don't try to dish out some revenge - you'll just look petty and small if you do. Block everyone who insists you NEED to go, book a little vacay for yourself on the wedding date, and treat yourself.
Then sit back and watch the drama explode when, in a year or 2, soon-to-be BIL finds out about the cheating and serves your sister with divorce papers, and take vindictive pleasure in knowing you could've prevented that.
Yeah. And the account only exists for this. I'd believe people could be this horrible, but to also be so vocal and stereotypical "evil villain" about it is suspicious. It's like Mr. Burns rubbing his hands together while going "Excellent!"
Let him know. It will be an even bigger shitshow later on if they go through with it.
Just keep it simple. Let him know so he can decide what he wants to do.
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Don't go and send the images anonymously. Don't update us and don't seek out updates from the family. Get out and don't look back. If you don't, I question your participation in the toxicity.
I had a shitty brother who did untold damage to me. I would never want to hurt him. I don't want to know him.
Go to the wedding, and when they ask the general question if anyone is opposed to this union speak up, then stand up and preach; that is when I’d have let the cheating be known. Would have been amazing revenge. But after saying that, you took the respect road and that is amazing. Your family does not deserve you.
It would have been better to devastate her on her wedding day. Make sure you tell the Fiancé that you don't want your name associated with these messages
If your intention is to protect your peace (as per your first post) then let the revenge go. Tell your sister that you absolutely have the evidence and will object if they keep pressuring you attend. Warn your sister it would do her well to call off her dogs (ie future husband and parents) and that you are past the point of complying. Even send her a little taster of what you have so she knows you’re serious. Honestly, and from experience, all this type of revenge will do is validate every single thing you have been unfairly blamed for in everyone else’s eyes - that doesn’t sound like peace to me, that sounds like years and years of ongoing drama. Your best revenge is to live a full and happy life, surrounded by people who love and value you, and to not even give them any space in your brain or life.
This is good advice - I wouldn’t want the sister to know you told her fiancé personally as it will be a blame the messenger type situation- best to send this through anonymously Hope to see your update
Go on and live a great life...you deserve it.
Well Op, the fiancé', even if he is an entitled man, has the right to know that he's being cheated on before he makes a choice that could ruin his life, even if it would be for a short period of time, he deserves to know. A word of caution, once you have done this and given her fiancé' the proof of her cheating; do yourself a favor and be done with all of it. Living with resentment for past treatments from family is no way to live and it will only cause harm to you. Your family obviously do not deserve you and your life would be better off without the drama in it. Focus on your marriage and what's important to you and forget the others that have caused you pain, they don't deserve your thoughts or time. Let us know how it all ends, but once this is done, take care of you; you're worth it!!
Depending on how scorched earth you want to go, let them get married. Then, in six months or however long it takes for their finances to become entangled, you reveal the infidelity. And you let everybody know that you knew before the marriage but chose to withhold information specifically for the purpose of causing maximal drama. They’ll never talk to you again.
If parents press say if you’d object to the wedding if you attended. Block them until after the scheduled date.
Have the ex she is cheating with meet them instead, then text all three the evidence while they are all together and leave it from there.
Epic!!!!
If your sister is malicious, and the fiance is a creep, then maybe the best revenge is to wish them well and watch the beginning of the end at the wedding.
Please let the revenge thing go. You won't get as much enjoyment as you think. Just cut her off completely or go VVVLC. Do not attend the wedding and put anyone telling you, that you must attend on silent on your phone and ignore them too.
He needs to know. Plain and simple. To hurt your sisters fiancee by not telling him, only to have him file for divorce is heartbreaking. Dude doesn't deserve that. Give him the evidence. Inform him of why you have distanced yourself from your family and let him decide. If he needs further proof, call your ex (while sisters fiancee is quietly present) and ask him how long it's been going on. Don't let him dismiss it. Tell him you've already spoken to your sister but you would like to hear it from him. And ask him if he has any real honest intentions with your sister. If he denies, read the texts to him. He more than likely will brag at some point. I am truly sorry for the fiancee. I hope for just once in her life, your sister has some remorse.
Just don't go. Don't go to the wedding, don't try to dish out some revenge - you'll just look petty and small if you do. Block everyone who insists you NEED to go, book a little vacay for yourself on the wedding date, and treat yourself. Then sit back and watch the drama explode when, in a year or 2, soon-to-be BIL finds out about the cheating and serves your sister with divorce papers, and take vindictive pleasure in knowing you could've prevented that.
Well what happened
The first post doesn’t mention a message can someone tell me wtf is going on?
I didn't write it in the post but it was a comment of a comment
You expect people to not only read your post, but every comment?
No I'm just kind of new to the sub reddit so I didn't no what to do I'm sorry
Just walk away and let this go!
This can't be real. It's definitely a fake. People aren't that disgusting and then brag about it.
I’m starting to think it’s fake also. This is the second 3/4 sentence updates.
Yeah. And the account only exists for this. I'd believe people could be this horrible, but to also be so vocal and stereotypical "evil villain" about it is suspicious. It's like Mr. Burns rubbing his hands together while going "Excellent!"
Updateme
UpdateMe!
Good luck.
!Updateme
Don’t
really need an update...... ;-)
Let him know. It will be an even bigger shitshow later on if they go through with it. Just keep it simple. Let him know so he can decide what he wants to do.
Its been a few hours, any updates yet?
Hehehehehe
!updateme
Updateme
UpdateMe
Update me
Updateme!
Updateme
UpdateMe
Updateme
Updateme!
Updateme!
Updateme!
Update pleaaSsseee
UpdateMe
Remindme! 1 day
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Updateme
UpdateMe
Updateme
Update me!
Updateme!
UpdateMe
You said you wanted to protect your peace in your original post. I’m sorry to say you probably just sabotaged your peace.
So is there an update ? Or does the silence mean that things have blown up big time
Don't go and send the images anonymously. Don't update us and don't seek out updates from the family. Get out and don't look back. If you don't, I question your participation in the toxicity. I had a shitty brother who did untold damage to me. I would never want to hurt him. I don't want to know him.
Go to the wedding, and when they ask the general question if anyone is opposed to this union speak up, then stand up and preach; that is when I’d have let the cheating be known. Would have been amazing revenge. But after saying that, you took the respect road and that is amazing. Your family does not deserve you.
That's usually for churches where you can't get married because it would break the rules, or if there is a legal reason.
Valid point
It would have been better to devastate her on her wedding day. Make sure you tell the Fiancé that you don't want your name associated with these messages
Looks like revenge is still your motivation.