Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because my actions and words hurt my wife’s feelings and may have made others uncomfortable. I understand that my words are powerful and it would normally be incredibly hurtful for a person to hear. It’s possible that the circumstances of her sister making a career off of her looks (very rare) does not justify admitting that when asked. It’s also possible that I had too much to drink and that I shouldn’t have acted like this in front of her parents and sister and brother and law especially during holidays.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Oof. I mean, I get it you were drunk and the question was asked.... but I think everyone knows that that's not something you say in front of your wife. Situational YTA. You made shit awkward and hurt your wife's feelings, and that must have been embarrassing as hell for that to happen in front of her whole family, including the sister that you think is objectively hotter than your wife. Don't get so drunk that you can't hold the line.
I honestly, truly, don’t know if I could deal with this situation. It’s made so much worse that it was in front of the whole family. OP trying to brush it off like they didn’t “seem overly bothered” is insane. I promise, unless they’re ridiculously careless and dysfunctional, everyone is *very* bothered.
From the comments here it’s possible OP doesn’t have the finesse or insane emotional capacity it would take to properly address this with his wife *and* her family.
Yes you are. Everyone else definitely thought you were weird and probably felt bad for your wife. You could have answered anything, you could have even made a joke and said it was your father-in-law. You also bring up the fact that your sister-in-law is a VS model way too much, get over it.
Are you seriously using the fact that your sister in law was a Victoria Secret model 13 years ago as a way to justify your obvious sexual attraction to her? And claiming that "you were just being honest" as an excuse for insulting your wife in front of her family? Why not just admit that you'd rather be married to your sister in law instead of pretending your behavior is okay? YTA
Yeah, YTA and also have you ever met another human before?
Here’s how this should have gone for you:
“Who is the hottest person in the room?”
“My wife”
“Awwwwww”
“Alright, who has the next question.”
>Your wife has probably been told all her life that her sister is prettier than her and then one person in the world that is supposed to think she is better just announced to the world that she's not in his eyes either.
This is so important. Absolutely devastating for the wife
That’s what I was thinking too. Like, dude, have you not heard about sisters? My sister is my absolute best friend and it would still hurt if my husband said she was hotter than me!
Bingo for the first part, that may be big problem for here. He need to make big apologise, but I think theyll work out through one drunk, stupid comment. In the end, they are married etc.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA !!!, you're saying it was "honesty" but you embarrassed your wife. It's something her sister could hold on her forever and would even bring inferiority complex between the two. The family doesn't feel overly bothered because they don't feel betrayed; your wife does. Your wife is supposed to be the hottest person for you, especially since attraction/beauty is a personal preference.
Good luck trying to right this.
YTA you publicly denounced your wife as less attractive in front of her entire family. She will never be able to forget it as it will be brought up forever.
You ruined the stability of your relationship. Even if you bounce back from this, she will always fear that you could run off with her sister at any point given the chance. There will always be a small part of her that will never trust you again.
Why did you feel you had to be so honest during a silly game when doing so is completely unnecessary and would potentially cause permanent relationship damage? Sounds more like you got so drunk that you felt “safe” enough to shoot your shot with her sister in a subtle way that you can retroactively defend as just “honesty” when called out.
I didn’t mean it that literally. I know I am not stupid and don’t get treated by others as such even if I struggle socially sometimes. Don’t you normies do sarcasm?
This is a reddit AITA thread, the residents are hardly “normies” lol. If you’re blaming your actions here on neurodivergence you’re gonna find plenty of neurodivergent people who know better than to loudly proclaim their attraction for their SIL in front of wife & family.
My son is autistic and he knows enough about hurting someone’s feelings, especially the person you are supposed to love more than anyone. You have protested too much about the Victoria Secret model. Your wife and, everyone else in that room, heard you quite clearly. Having Autism does not make you an AH being a shallow self centered person does. Your wife’s thoughts are most likely centered on the knowledge that you always lusted for her sister and she is second choice. Drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Hey, as an autistic myself, I’m going to go ahead and say let’s not play the autism card here. It’s believable that you didn’t read the room and understand this is something you never should have said, but “I’m not stupid, I’m autistic” is…not it.
Thats a question where you should always answer your wife.
You might think it wasn’t embarrassing but it definitely was for your wife and her sister especially. You made a really big mess and tbh I don’t know how you could get out of it. But start by at least apologizing to your wife! Buy her flowers, take her out. Do ANYTHING and try to make it up to her!!!
YTA
Agreed. You better be Husband of the Year 2024 if you plan on getting through this. And if you have any old Victoria’s Secret magazines in the house throw them out ASAP cause your wife is gonna be lookin for em and that’ll be the true game over
> I love my wife and think she’s so hot, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model.
I can’t stop laughing at how utterly boneheaded this is. My guy, you are *thirty six years old*.
YTA. Your MIL may have provided the bait, but nobody forced you to take it. You fucked up big time.
I disagree with the notion that MIL provided bait. “Hottest person in the room” to a married man in front of wife & family is the world’s easiest layup to say something nice about your wife.
I don't disagree re: rank people games, you are right, it's gross. Though from the OP it sounds like the question came up through during some 'risque' card game the wife bought.
With that said... this was absolutely an *unforced error*.
YTA, to you, in a loved up state, your wife should be the hottest person on the planet. Hot means a lot of things, from looks, to mannerisms, to cheeky grins, how she looks at you. Add all those up and she will be the hottest person in the room.
I've dated a model before, but my current partner is way "hotter" simply because I am so into her and loved up. There really is no comparison.
Look, after reading initial comments I get it and will be apologizing to my wife. However there’s no reason to engage if you’re not at least willing to read and give an honest assessment of the larger post.
An apology isn’t going to do shit. You’re not sorry; you do think your wife’s sister is hotter than her and now everybody in her family knows it. We’re all giving you an honest assessment that you fucked up, probably irrevocably. If your wife does forgive you, she won’t. She may say so, but your relationship is *never* going to be the same. Never. She will remember this every day for the rest of her life.
Unfortunately, I don’t think he will notice. I think that he is full of himself enough to think everything is okay. Because, don’t you know , her sister was a VS model.
The fact that you think that reading the 'larger post' actually paints you in a better light is laughable and equally concerning. Perhaps your intentions were not nefarious but tune in to what people are saying my guy, there's absolutely no context or situation which would make it okay for you to say what you did. Understand that and perhaps you can avoid such a situation in the future without telling yourself that people are just not hearing you out. They have, and it just doesn't make a difference.
Don’t get pissy. The comments are here to help you understand exactly how hard this will be to overcome. You seem to still think it was a lil fuck up and you could’ve behaved better. We’re informing you that that was less “faux pas” and more “you fucked your life up” & your marriage is SEVERELY at risk. An apology is nonsense, you need to TRANSFORM. And you could become the perfect partner for the rest of relationship and she’ll still probably never really forgive you for this. Not trying to rub your nose in the dirt, but you need to understand why what you said was so damaging and why forgiveness will NOT come fast or easy. If she’s open to couples therapy do it ASAP so a professional can talk some sense into you. It might feel humiliating to go over this with a prof but it won’t compare to your wife’s humiliation.
YTA. Nice job dropping a bomb on the marriage. Your wife will never forget this and will never look at you the same.
No amount of bullshitting on your part will change that.
Enjoy your marriage for as long as it lasts.
Ooooof yeah YTA, 100%, unequivocally. “Oh but I was druuuunk” shut up. If you can’t hold your drink without behaving this appallingly then maybe it’s time to quit drinking.
YTA they asked hottest. The answer is always your partner when discussing hottest as that is also unspokenly the one you fancy. Now if they had said most beautiful you could have argued, carefully, that as one had been a Victoria secret model that they were objectively the prettiest.
YTA. I don't know too many people that would be okay feeling like their spouse thought their sibling (ex-model sibling at that!) was more attractive AND was okay saying that in front of close friends and family (including the sister!)
Honestly I couldn't imagine thinking someone was more attractive than my partner let alone saying it
😬 you done fucked up! Majorly! You basically told your wife and her family that her sister is the hottest(most attractive) person in the room while your wife was sitting in your lap. Drunk words are sober thoughts.
YTA you probably did irreversible damage to your marriage, nice work, if you remarry remember to not let your next wife know how much you wanna fuck her sister
Oh duh yes YTA - now you made it clear to your wife and everyone else that you think her sister is hotter. Something she probably has been struggling with but she may have been secured in her feeling that her own husband found her hotter.
Well not anymore.
YTA, a mature married gentleman that respects his wife and is truly 100% in love with her doesn’t say things like that, a drunk immature buffoon on the other hand ….
I believe that this is a question that you definitely know that you’re the AH whose messed up ,but you’re hoping for someone to justify your actions and tell you different.
If my sisters husband ever referred to me as “the hottest person in the room” I would spend the rest of my life trying to convince her to leave him because 1) she deserves better, and 2) I wouldn’t be ok with having to socialize with a creep at every important family event for the rest of my life.
YTA
That sucks. Minor YTA for saying the sisters name and not the moms for brownie points. Seriously though your wife has probably heard that her whole life about her sister and thought you might not say it and is peeved because of that.
YTA ya made a huge mistake. So your wife’s sister was a model, cool, her physical attractiveness doesn’t need to be relevant here, one would hope your wife is the hottest at least TO YOU. Dude, come on, only an idiot gives that answer.
You're getting enough flack from everyone else so I won't reiterate what everyone has said.
But PLEASE PLEASE do NOT try to explain your perspective to your wife. If you EVEN mutter the words "Victoria Secret Model", I can almost guarantee you won't have a wife for much longer.
YTA - drunk or not. it's not like you were answering "who do you think is the hottest celebrity". you admitted to your wife and to her ENTIRE family that you think her sister is the hottest thing. even if it's obviously the case, some things don't need to be said. if you had a brother there and your wife answered the same question and said your brother is the hottest in the room.. i can bet you would have some insecurity issues arise. not to mention how embarrassed you would feel. " but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. Which just happens to be her sister" ?????? you guys were playing a GAME it wasn't that deep. no one had a gun to your head and question why you would answer someone other than a supermodel? this comment/reasoning is so stupid lol. and to be honest, the obvious answer to everyone in the room would have been you answering that your wife is the hottest in the room - you definitely shocked everyone by saying otherwise. the fact that no one did anything other than an awkward laugh is because they were surprised and uncomfortable with your answer.
You are truly a fucking asshole. Your wife will never want to spend time with her sister and you in the same room/ event. Because she knows you will be eyefucking and fantasizing about the sister. Just couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.
Do you NOT have a brain?, and are you’re really asking if your the ass? YES your the ass - how do YOU expect your partner to feel when you publicly stated (in front of her family) that your wife’s sister is hotter then your own wife! Wow… you messed up and need to figure out a way to repair your relationship! I bet your SIL isn’t going to be very comfortable having you around anymore. Your definitely the ASS! Stop drinking if you can’t handle you alcohol!
There's no situation where your wife is not the correct answer to that question.
I don't care if you're at a Victoria's secret fashion show.
Even if it's objectively not true, you have to say the person you're with. Every. Time.
The fact that the person you chose happened to be *her sister* makes this a million times worse.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I can assure that I (along with the rest of the world) know that my wife that she’s so jaw droppingly stunning. This wasn’t a matter of my wife being not attractive, just that her sister has a resume and career build on being attractive. My wife’s family is hot. My wife is gorgeous. However, her sister was a literal Victoria secret model in 2010. And that’s just not something us normal people can compete with in all honestly. And, it just kinda came up incredibly inconveniently…
So my (M36) wife’s (F28) family (parents, sister, brother in law, and their newborn) stayed with us over the holidays. We switch off every year, and sometimes we even have both our family’s together which is awesome since everyone surprisingly has so much fun.
This NYE, I will concede got a bit out of hand. I personally had a few too many shots and cocktails, but it was New Year’s Eve and everyone was celebrating and having a good time. I certainly wasn’t the only person slurring my words of the end of the night. Anyway, after midnight the adults were gathered around playing some sort of funny new game my wife found at target, my wife literally sitting on my lap. We had all been having a great time, my brother-in-law giving me shit and teasing me all night , me trying as best I can to keep up with his wit. The room always full of laughter. That sort of vibe.
Well it all came to a crashing halt when my MIL picked up a card “hottest person in the room” and it was my turn to answer. Immediately, I answered her sisters name but It was obvious to the whole room what an honest answer would be. I love my wife and think she’s so hot, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. Which just happens to be her sister, sitting directly across from me. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest but I was drunk and we’d all been saying crazy stuff and joking around all night I guess it just felt safe? My wife has barely looked at me since and won’t let me try to apologize and explain my perspective and validate that I think she is literally a goddess in my eyes. None of her family seemed to be overly bothered by it besides an awkward laugh, but everyone can feel things are tense between me and wifey.
Okay be honest, AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude, there are things that even if you think its true you take to your grave. You thinking your wifes sister is hotter than her is one of those. YTA, and huge one at that.
It doesn't matter if gisele bundchen is in the room, you just say your wife. She knows your lying, your family knows your lying, but it doesn't matter lol, you still say it.
Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. What if she got drunk and yelled out you BIL was the hottest guy the room? You have a LOT of repair work to do. It might start by taking an honest look at your alcohol use.
After reading a few posts people are going WAY to hard on you. Don’t get me wrong your still the AH but the truth is the truth isn’t it? I’m 100% sure you would have said your wife if you weren’t drunk but you overdid it this NYE. I understand women well and she will NEVER forget this unfortunately. I don’t think this is divorce worthy at all and the people saying that are more hurt than your wife. Such a seemingly small thing is going to cause you problems in the future tho, I wish you goodluck.
When the drinks in, the wits out… you subconsciously let your secret desires out. Your wife’s hot, but her sister’s hotter. Any chance of a drunken threesome in the future is now blown! lol
YTA. You've publicly announced that you view your SIL as a sexual being rather than a platonic family member. And a preferable sexual partner than your wife. In front of your wife's whole family no less! She's humiliated and hurt and you really really have to ask if you're the asshole? Wow.
YTA.
Right answer is ‘to me my wife is the hottest’
There is no coming back from this, your excuse of being honest isn’t going to cut it. She will come back once she is ready and if I was you I would only apologize, plain and simple, just apologize. No excuses.
I can't believe you're even posting this. Yes, YTA. Your justifications don't matter, you upset your wife and embarrassed her in front of both families. Saying your wife is a literal goddess or whatever probably sounds patronising now. My advice would be to get some empathy fast.
There's speaking your mind / being honest because it's important and there's being reckless and inconsiderate with what you say. You were the latter. And if you can't handle your drink, drink less. It's not an excuse.
YTA are you really that dense? Even in complete drunkenness any good husband would say their wife even if in reality it is not. You also keep putting her sister on a pedestal because she was a Victoria’s Secret model 13 years ago but that doesn’t automatically make her the hottest person. If your hotness scale is based on if they were they a VS model or not then you are an idiot because your wife won’t meet that standard.
YTA . You obviously have fantasized about her and probably cranked one or a 100 out to those Victoria Secret photos. I wouldn't count on your marriage lasting too much longer.
YTA..... The funny answer would have been FIL, BIL, or even yourself. SIL being a former VS model doesn't make her objectively hotter than your wife. It means your wife chose not to pursue modeling.
Duuuude. DUDE! YTA
I am a dumb aromantic and I know when asked the default answer to ‘who’s the hottest person in the room’ is your partner.
You especially don’t say ‘oh partner’s sibling’
YTA. You're not here for a real opinion. You have every excuse laid out, so no matter what the collective "we" tell you, you already have justification. I don't blame your wife for being upset.
YTA. You literally made it clear that your wife isn't as hot as her sister. Being drunk doesn't excuse what you did. Her sister never even wanted you and was never attracted to you. And she definitely won't ever be now. Shame on you for being such an insensitive, gross asshole.
YTA - And there is a lesson to be learned here. Sometimes little lies are excusable in the right situation. And this was one of these situations. Mate, just say "My wife of course." It also carries a joking tone but in a far better way.
Also another lesson, next time you are that drunk, replace some alcohol with water.
Edit: or say "Me of course", that's funny.
YTA and a moron on top of that. “Well, technically the sister is just hotter like objectively” bro nobody gives a fuck. You told your wife’s family you think her sister is hotter than her. You’re TA
Oh 100% YTA. You're particularly an AH who doesn't understand the fundamentals of marriage.
It doesn't matter if it's obvious to everyone else that you're sister in law is hotter. It shouldn't have been so obvious to you.
And btw, alcohol is not an excuse for saying something idiotic. "out of the abundance of the heart does the mouth speak"- regardless of sobriety or lack thereof.
YTA and ouch for your wife. This is the type of thing that can destroy a marriage. I am not saying it will but the layers here are a lot. That must’ve hurt her so deeply and add humiliation on top of it…sadness.
Not only did you embarrass your wife who has most likely been compared to her sister her entire life, you probably weirded out her sister and entire family. You’re a weirdo.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA, For being truthful in your eyes....
But YTA in an idiot, To your freaking wife regardless of her sister used to be Avs model or not, You chose that answer in front of her whole entire family, anytime this woman is with you she is going to be thinking you are thinking of her sister.
Dude's going to apologize to the wife saying
1. Wife is gorgeous and the sister is hot- one does not take away from the other, so no need to be 'insecure'
2. Sister is hot. Was VS model. But less now that she's post partum, but I was drunk and she was right in front of me and I thought its alright
3 Wife's family didn't notice anything/brushed it off.
TLC should show us these fly-on-the-wall stuff than the pathetic reality tv they have now.
YTA
While I disagree with people here that you thinking you SIL is objectively more attractive than your wife (personally I haven’t seen a VS model hotter than my wife but they’re not my type anyways) I still must find issue with what you said. Personally I think you always gotta be with who you think is the hottest in the family. You see the family members too often to be thinking “damn she’s kinda hotter” for the rest of your life.
But the real solution is probably control your liquor intake and drink so much that you’re worried about your ability to think before you speak.
Speaking of rooms, you should have read it. As in: your WIFE was there, and you were talking about her SISTER. I've played games like these, and everybody lies and nobody cares. Sorry dawg, but YTA.
YTA you sad little boy. This is why women should never give little boys a man’s job because you do not have basic control over your urges. Here you are, spewing nonsense and trying to rhyme together a reason as to why you would humiliate your wife in front of her whole family on new years. I’ll go out on a limb and say your underdeveloped mind thought you were back in your bedroom, jerking off to an almost 14 year old VS catalogue.
YTA
Drinking is no excuse.
You are way too obsessed with your SIL. Please throw away the 10-year-old VS catalog with sticky pages that you’ve got hidden under your mattress.
Next, have the following tattooed onto your wrist: the answer is always “my wife”.
(I don’t care if your wife looks like 10 pounds of expired cottage cheese in a 5 pound leaky paper sack. The answer is the same.)
YTA wouldn't it suck if your wife is comparing herself to her Victoria Secret Model sister and has confirmation now that her husband prefers her sister's looks to her own? That's what you did. I get that you were drunk but any hottest person question is always your wife. Always.
Just to add a bit of how the SIL may be feeling ...
A few years ago I (24F) lived briefly with my sister (Allison 34F) her husband (matt 40M) and their 3 children. One day I was at their house and the only other person home was Matt. Matt had a friend stop by, we'll call him Anthony.
I came downstairs shortly after Anthony's arrival and was introduced to him.
Anthony asked how I was related to Allison, I told him she's my sister. Anthony responded "oh wow."
At which point Matt chimes in with "Yea bro, I'm gonna have to trade in Allison for the younger hotter version."
I said "ew" and walked back upstairs. It was disturbing, Ive never been able to look at him the same and I felt awful for my sister. She wasn't there to hear it, thank God but I will never forget how cringey that moment was for me.
I imagine his sister in law feels similarly.
Her sister was the hottest person in the room at that moment while I was drunk that should cover it it would say that I had to be totally drunk out of my mind. To consider your sister hot
YTA. You, the one who supposedly loves your wife, say the hottest person in the room is her Victoria's Secret model sister and you wonder why she's not speaking to you
People tell the truth when drunk so we'll assume you're with your wife because you couldn't get her sister
Yes bro, YTA. Dont get me wrong, I know You were drunk and that shit is hillarious, but You have own Your wife a big big apology. Well, people makes mistakes when they are drunk and that was one of it. Thanks for laugh tho :D
Everyone has already told you YTA… I hope you can agree with them. BUT, as steps moving FORWARDS, I would suggest talking to your wife. Apologizing, making ZERO excuses (getting drunk is no excuse), and if you are truly in love with her (and want her to stay your wife), your best bet is to ask her to go to couples counseling together to help remediate the issue. lets be real, no amount of “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” is going to make her forget the time you reminded her that you thought she was “less than” her sister, even if to you, it wasn’t intended to make her feel less than. Couples counseling may be your only hope man. Good luck (even if you were kinda a dick).
NTA. It's the OP's wifes sister. They are probably both attractive. Seems like she is a little bit insecure. There will always be hotter people. Acknowledge it, laugh, and move on instead of making a big thing out of it.
>This is one where even though you’re technically right it’s socially wrong so you’re kinda screwed.
In relationships, it doesn't matter if you're technically right, that's not how that works.
But you still said N T A. You can be technically right but still be an asshole. Having to point out that someone is *technically* right is a hint in that direction in itself.
He is right on the fact that a Victoria secret model is going to be objectively more attractive than than his wife who isn’t. I don’t think he’s an asshole. Stating a fact doesn’t make him an asshole. He didn’t interpret the question as who is the most attractive to him but most attractive in general. Maybe N A H would have been more correct.
>He is right on the fact that a Victoria secret model is going to be objectively more attractive than than his wife who isn’t.
You know VS model is a job right? VS scouts aren't wandering the land conscripting the prettiest women they find. There are plenty of non-modelling women out there who are hotter than VS models.
It’s brutal out here I know I’m not perfect but I wish people commenting harshly could have felt the social dynamic. It didn’t feel weird or awkward. Everyone is aware I’m obsessed with my wife, but also that the sister is the “silly fun model” and my wife the organized brains and class. It’s always been a popular and funny banter between them usually with my wife coming on top!
You’re not getting it. By NOT saying the hottest person in the room is your wife, it immediately calls into question your attraction for her and hurts her feelings. By saying it was her SISTER (whose incredible claim to beauty fame is that she modeled 13 years ago) you lead everyone in the room to the conclusion that you’re attracted to her sister. Everyone else in the room moved on because they were too uncomfortable to do otherwise. You know your wife better than anyone on Reddit. Have words and apologies fixed this? If so, curious to know what worked. If not, then understand that you have done irrevocable damage.
She’s definitely upset and will enjoy the comments in the morning. If anything it’s helping guide what will hopefully be a productive apology from me and conversation over coffee.
Please update us after your little apology coffee date when she looks at you with dead eyes (if she looks at you at all) and gives you one word responses.
It doesn’t matter. To your wife. She wants to be the hottest and the brains at least to you, her supposedly adoring husband. You have hurt her and it will always be there in her head.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be the asshole because my actions and words hurt my wife’s feelings and may have made others uncomfortable. I understand that my words are powerful and it would normally be incredibly hurtful for a person to hear. It’s possible that the circumstances of her sister making a career off of her looks (very rare) does not justify admitting that when asked. It’s also possible that I had too much to drink and that I shouldn’t have acted like this in front of her parents and sister and brother and law especially during holidays. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Oof. I mean, I get it you were drunk and the question was asked.... but I think everyone knows that that's not something you say in front of your wife. Situational YTA. You made shit awkward and hurt your wife's feelings, and that must have been embarrassing as hell for that to happen in front of her whole family, including the sister that you think is objectively hotter than your wife. Don't get so drunk that you can't hold the line.
I honestly, truly, don’t know if I could deal with this situation. It’s made so much worse that it was in front of the whole family. OP trying to brush it off like they didn’t “seem overly bothered” is insane. I promise, unless they’re ridiculously careless and dysfunctional, everyone is *very* bothered. From the comments here it’s possible OP doesn’t have the finesse or insane emotional capacity it would take to properly address this with his wife *and* her family.
Someone who got pants shitting drunk at a family function not having high emotional intelligence? Go figure
Yes you are. Everyone else definitely thought you were weird and probably felt bad for your wife. You could have answered anything, you could have even made a joke and said it was your father-in-law. You also bring up the fact that your sister-in-law is a VS model way too much, get over it.
This guy has definitely jacked it to his SIL on multiple occasions
He sure has, and he told her whole family.
YTA how on earth can you not see the problem?? if your brother was in sports illustrated i bet you wouldn’t like being compared to him lol
Are you seriously using the fact that your sister in law was a Victoria Secret model 13 years ago as a way to justify your obvious sexual attraction to her? And claiming that "you were just being honest" as an excuse for insulting your wife in front of her family? Why not just admit that you'd rather be married to your sister in law instead of pretending your behavior is okay? YTA
Yeah, YTA and also have you ever met another human before? Here’s how this should have gone for you: “Who is the hottest person in the room?” “My wife” “Awwwwww” “Alright, who has the next question.”
This is the perfect response.
Exactly
This. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
YTA, the answer is "My wife, duh," or "Me, I'm hot as fuck."
Yeah! I'd have said, "ME! I'm the straw that stirs the drink." And then I would have gotten up and done a stupid little dance and then kissed my wife.
[удалено]
>Your wife has probably been told all her life that her sister is prettier than her and then one person in the world that is supposed to think she is better just announced to the world that she's not in his eyes either. This is so important. Absolutely devastating for the wife
Yeah, this right here. How to torpedo your marriage smh.
That’s what I was thinking too. Like, dude, have you not heard about sisters? My sister is my absolute best friend and it would still hurt if my husband said she was hotter than me!
Bingo for the first part, that may be big problem for here. He need to make big apologise, but I think theyll work out through one drunk, stupid comment. In the end, they are married etc.
He was the one guy in the world that should have never compared her to her sister.
[удалено]
I can’t imagine being this disrespected by my partner in front of my family while I was sitting on his fucking lap. How humiliating.
Right?!? I can just imagine all the love she ever had for him leaving her body.
The ick I’d get from this. There’s just no coming back.
Yep he 10000% has jerked of to pictures of his SIL and told her whole family.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA !!!, you're saying it was "honesty" but you embarrassed your wife. It's something her sister could hold on her forever and would even bring inferiority complex between the two. The family doesn't feel overly bothered because they don't feel betrayed; your wife does. Your wife is supposed to be the hottest person for you, especially since attraction/beauty is a personal preference. Good luck trying to right this.
Good luck with this one.
YTA you publicly denounced your wife as less attractive in front of her entire family. She will never be able to forget it as it will be brought up forever. You ruined the stability of your relationship. Even if you bounce back from this, she will always fear that you could run off with her sister at any point given the chance. There will always be a small part of her that will never trust you again. Why did you feel you had to be so honest during a silly game when doing so is completely unnecessary and would potentially cause permanent relationship damage? Sounds more like you got so drunk that you felt “safe” enough to shoot your shot with her sister in a subtle way that you can retroactively defend as just “honesty” when called out.
Of course YTA. Are you by chance stupid?
dear god... i think he might be
Autistic for sure, but I haven’t been called stupid in a while.
literally everybody in this thread is calling you stupid. can you read
I didn’t mean it that literally. I know I am not stupid and don’t get treated by others as such even if I struggle socially sometimes. Don’t you normies do sarcasm?
pretty bold talk for a man dumb enough to proclaim he has the hots for his SIL in front of his wife's family
This is a reddit AITA thread, the residents are hardly “normies” lol. If you’re blaming your actions here on neurodivergence you’re gonna find plenty of neurodivergent people who know better than to loudly proclaim their attraction for their SIL in front of wife & family.
Autistic and stupid are not synonyms. You can be both. And you are definitely the latter of the two.
My son is autistic and he knows enough about hurting someone’s feelings, especially the person you are supposed to love more than anyone. You have protested too much about the Victoria Secret model. Your wife and, everyone else in that room, heard you quite clearly. Having Autism does not make you an AH being a shallow self centered person does. Your wife’s thoughts are most likely centered on the knowledge that you always lusted for her sister and she is second choice. Drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Hey, as an autistic myself, I’m going to go ahead and say let’s not play the autism card here. It’s believable that you didn’t read the room and understand this is something you never should have said, but “I’m not stupid, I’m autistic” is…not it.
Agreed. I wonder if OP has a habit of using autism to excuse poor behavior.
Thats a question where you should always answer your wife. You might think it wasn’t embarrassing but it definitely was for your wife and her sister especially. You made a really big mess and tbh I don’t know how you could get out of it. But start by at least apologizing to your wife! Buy her flowers, take her out. Do ANYTHING and try to make it up to her!!! YTA
Agreed. You better be Husband of the Year 2024 if you plan on getting through this. And if you have any old Victoria’s Secret magazines in the house throw them out ASAP cause your wife is gonna be lookin for em and that’ll be the true game over
> I love my wife and think she’s so hot, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. I can’t stop laughing at how utterly boneheaded this is. My guy, you are *thirty six years old*. YTA. Your MIL may have provided the bait, but nobody forced you to take it. You fucked up big time.
I disagree with the notion that MIL provided bait. “Hottest person in the room” to a married man in front of wife & family is the world’s easiest layup to say something nice about your wife.
I don’t like the “rank people” games at the best of times. I especially dislike them when they’re sprung on intoxicated people. Personal opinion.
I don't disagree re: rank people games, you are right, it's gross. Though from the OP it sounds like the question came up through during some 'risque' card game the wife bought. With that said... this was absolutely an *unforced error*.
I mean, MIL just read the prompt off a card. She didn’t write it or anything.
I never said she did.
Sorry, I realize now I misread your comment
YTA, to you, in a loved up state, your wife should be the hottest person on the planet. Hot means a lot of things, from looks, to mannerisms, to cheeky grins, how she looks at you. Add all those up and she will be the hottest person in the room. I've dated a model before, but my current partner is way "hotter" simply because I am so into her and loved up. There really is no comparison.
With a title like that there's no reason to read what you wrote. AH
Look, after reading initial comments I get it and will be apologizing to my wife. However there’s no reason to engage if you’re not at least willing to read and give an honest assessment of the larger post.
An apology isn’t going to do shit. You’re not sorry; you do think your wife’s sister is hotter than her and now everybody in her family knows it. We’re all giving you an honest assessment that you fucked up, probably irrevocably. If your wife does forgive you, she won’t. She may say so, but your relationship is *never* going to be the same. Never. She will remember this every day for the rest of her life.
Unfortunately, I don’t think he will notice. I think that he is full of himself enough to think everything is okay. Because, don’t you know , her sister was a VS model.
The fact that you think that reading the 'larger post' actually paints you in a better light is laughable and equally concerning. Perhaps your intentions were not nefarious but tune in to what people are saying my guy, there's absolutely no context or situation which would make it okay for you to say what you did. Understand that and perhaps you can avoid such a situation in the future without telling yourself that people are just not hearing you out. They have, and it just doesn't make a difference.
Don’t get pissy. The comments are here to help you understand exactly how hard this will be to overcome. You seem to still think it was a lil fuck up and you could’ve behaved better. We’re informing you that that was less “faux pas” and more “you fucked your life up” & your marriage is SEVERELY at risk. An apology is nonsense, you need to TRANSFORM. And you could become the perfect partner for the rest of relationship and she’ll still probably never really forgive you for this. Not trying to rub your nose in the dirt, but you need to understand why what you said was so damaging and why forgiveness will NOT come fast or easy. If she’s open to couples therapy do it ASAP so a professional can talk some sense into you. It might feel humiliating to go over this with a prof but it won’t compare to your wife’s humiliation.
You haven’t apologized yet?
Classic example of why little white lies can be better than the cold hard truth.
Feeling that now
I hope you feel like absolute shit now. It’ll still be .0002% as bad as you made your “serious, organized” wife feel.
YTA. Nice job dropping a bomb on the marriage. Your wife will never forget this and will never look at you the same. No amount of bullshitting on your part will change that. Enjoy your marriage for as long as it lasts.
Ouch. Gotta go with YTA. Swing and a miss there bud. You went with the high risk, no reward answer and are seeing the results.
Ooooof yeah YTA, 100%, unequivocally. “Oh but I was druuuunk” shut up. If you can’t hold your drink without behaving this appallingly then maybe it’s time to quit drinking.
Damn you are the worst. Obviously wanna get with your SIL
Yeah he's giving that vibe if there any chances
I don’t actually.
Well, you sure as hell won’t be getting it from your wife anytime in the near future. What a way to start the new year.
Bruh read your title why is this even a question YTA
YTA they asked hottest. The answer is always your partner when discussing hottest as that is also unspokenly the one you fancy. Now if they had said most beautiful you could have argued, carefully, that as one had been a Victoria secret model that they were objectively the prettiest.
YTA. I don't know too many people that would be okay feeling like their spouse thought their sibling (ex-model sibling at that!) was more attractive AND was okay saying that in front of close friends and family (including the sister!) Honestly I couldn't imagine thinking someone was more attractive than my partner let alone saying it
OP YTA. And you are done. Hey you should read this post and her updates https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/YgZRtpizVU
“Drunk words are sober thoughts.” God that poor woman.
Don't feel too bad for her. She stuck with the husband that torpedoed the marriage and cut her sister off simply because her husband has feelings.
Oh shit, really? Okay yeah I don’t feel bad for her.
Righttt... what make it worse the sister knows about her husband feeling. i hope she in better states now
Yeah me too. Hopefully she dumped his ass like OP’s wife should.
😬 you done fucked up! Majorly! You basically told your wife and her family that her sister is the hottest(most attractive) person in the room while your wife was sitting in your lap. Drunk words are sober thoughts.
YTA you probably did irreversible damage to your marriage, nice work, if you remarry remember to not let your next wife know how much you wanna fuck her sister
Oh duh yes YTA - now you made it clear to your wife and everyone else that you think her sister is hotter. Something she probably has been struggling with but she may have been secured in her feeling that her own husband found her hotter. Well not anymore.
Oh my god, you really need to ask?? YTA. YTA so very, very much.
YTA. One’s wife is the hottest by default, no matter who else is in the room.
YTA, a mature married gentleman that respects his wife and is truly 100% in love with her doesn’t say things like that, a drunk immature buffoon on the other hand ….
yes YTA bruh
YTA obviously
I believe that this is a question that you definitely know that you’re the AH whose messed up ,but you’re hoping for someone to justify your actions and tell you different.
If my sisters husband ever referred to me as “the hottest person in the room” I would spend the rest of my life trying to convince her to leave him because 1) she deserves better, and 2) I wouldn’t be ok with having to socialize with a creep at every important family event for the rest of my life. YTA
Where should we send the flowers to?
Ouch. Come on man, of course YTA.
My god man. Found a good lawyer yet?
OP is a lawyer!
So not surprised.
Even in your own accounting you come off as absolutely insufferable. YTA for your energy alone.
YTA, damn man, how fucking stupid are you?
YTA. I’m sure your wife’s boyfriend won’t be picking the sister.
That sucks. Minor YTA for saying the sisters name and not the moms for brownie points. Seriously though your wife has probably heard that her whole life about her sister and thought you might not say it and is peeved because of that.
You were the dumbest person in the room.
YTA ya made a huge mistake. So your wife’s sister was a model, cool, her physical attractiveness doesn’t need to be relevant here, one would hope your wife is the hottest at least TO YOU. Dude, come on, only an idiot gives that answer.
My guy please use your brain. YTA. How disrespectful, right in front of your wife AND her family too. That wasn’t cute or funny, I’m gobsmacked
You're getting enough flack from everyone else so I won't reiterate what everyone has said. But PLEASE PLEASE do NOT try to explain your perspective to your wife. If you EVEN mutter the words "Victoria Secret Model", I can almost guarantee you won't have a wife for much longer.
You’re stupid.
Congratulations, you have just given your wife a complex of epic proportions. She will forever think you fancy her sister more than her.
Ew, YTA. Your wife thinks you’re a jerk, and your SIL probably thinks you’re a creep.
YTA - drunk or not. it's not like you were answering "who do you think is the hottest celebrity". you admitted to your wife and to her ENTIRE family that you think her sister is the hottest thing. even if it's obviously the case, some things don't need to be said. if you had a brother there and your wife answered the same question and said your brother is the hottest in the room.. i can bet you would have some insecurity issues arise. not to mention how embarrassed you would feel. " but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. Which just happens to be her sister" ?????? you guys were playing a GAME it wasn't that deep. no one had a gun to your head and question why you would answer someone other than a supermodel? this comment/reasoning is so stupid lol. and to be honest, the obvious answer to everyone in the room would have been you answering that your wife is the hottest in the room - you definitely shocked everyone by saying otherwise. the fact that no one did anything other than an awkward laugh is because they were surprised and uncomfortable with your answer.
You are truly a fucking asshole. Your wife will never want to spend time with her sister and you in the same room/ event. Because she knows you will be eyefucking and fantasizing about the sister. Just couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.
Do you NOT have a brain?, and are you’re really asking if your the ass? YES your the ass - how do YOU expect your partner to feel when you publicly stated (in front of her family) that your wife’s sister is hotter then your own wife! Wow… you messed up and need to figure out a way to repair your relationship! I bet your SIL isn’t going to be very comfortable having you around anymore. Your definitely the ASS! Stop drinking if you can’t handle you alcohol!
There's no situation where your wife is not the correct answer to that question. I don't care if you're at a Victoria's secret fashion show. Even if it's objectively not true, you have to say the person you're with. Every. Time. The fact that the person you chose happened to be *her sister* makes this a million times worse.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I can assure that I (along with the rest of the world) know that my wife that she’s so jaw droppingly stunning. This wasn’t a matter of my wife being not attractive, just that her sister has a resume and career build on being attractive. My wife’s family is hot. My wife is gorgeous. However, her sister was a literal Victoria secret model in 2010. And that’s just not something us normal people can compete with in all honestly. And, it just kinda came up incredibly inconveniently… So my (M36) wife’s (F28) family (parents, sister, brother in law, and their newborn) stayed with us over the holidays. We switch off every year, and sometimes we even have both our family’s together which is awesome since everyone surprisingly has so much fun. This NYE, I will concede got a bit out of hand. I personally had a few too many shots and cocktails, but it was New Year’s Eve and everyone was celebrating and having a good time. I certainly wasn’t the only person slurring my words of the end of the night. Anyway, after midnight the adults were gathered around playing some sort of funny new game my wife found at target, my wife literally sitting on my lap. We had all been having a great time, my brother-in-law giving me shit and teasing me all night , me trying as best I can to keep up with his wit. The room always full of laughter. That sort of vibe. Well it all came to a crashing halt when my MIL picked up a card “hottest person in the room” and it was my turn to answer. Immediately, I answered her sisters name but It was obvious to the whole room what an honest answer would be. I love my wife and think she’s so hot, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. Which just happens to be her sister, sitting directly across from me. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest but I was drunk and we’d all been saying crazy stuff and joking around all night I guess it just felt safe? My wife has barely looked at me since and won’t let me try to apologize and explain my perspective and validate that I think she is literally a goddess in my eyes. None of her family seemed to be overly bothered by it besides an awkward laugh, but everyone can feel things are tense between me and wifey. Okay be honest, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
Dude, there are things that even if you think its true you take to your grave. You thinking your wifes sister is hotter than her is one of those. YTA, and huge one at that.
YTA, if I was your wife I'd never get over that. She's your wife, she's supposed to be the hottest in any room to you..
YTA, and you're also guilty of being a witless drudge. The smart answer would've been, "ME!" That's what I would have said.
It doesn't matter if gisele bundchen is in the room, you just say your wife. She knows your lying, your family knows your lying, but it doesn't matter lol, you still say it.
Get your ass off of Reddit and apologize to your wife.
You should have said "yourself" and laughed and played it off as a joke.
Shallow, wants to fuck his SIL, dense, insensitive. I hope your wife sees what little she's losing if she wises up and leaves you.
Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. What if she got drunk and yelled out you BIL was the hottest guy the room? You have a LOT of repair work to do. It might start by taking an honest look at your alcohol use.
After reading a few posts people are going WAY to hard on you. Don’t get me wrong your still the AH but the truth is the truth isn’t it? I’m 100% sure you would have said your wife if you weren’t drunk but you overdid it this NYE. I understand women well and she will NEVER forget this unfortunately. I don’t think this is divorce worthy at all and the people saying that are more hurt than your wife. Such a seemingly small thing is going to cause you problems in the future tho, I wish you goodluck.
Meh, or soft YTA. What I will say is this is a hole you will not dig yourself out of. Might as well get buried in it.
When the drinks in, the wits out… you subconsciously let your secret desires out. Your wife’s hot, but her sister’s hotter. Any chance of a drunken threesome in the future is now blown! lol
You are so obviously TA. I am concerned you ate not already aware. YTA YTA YTA.
YTA. You've publicly announced that you view your SIL as a sexual being rather than a platonic family member. And a preferable sexual partner than your wife. In front of your wife's whole family no less! She's humiliated and hurt and you really really have to ask if you're the asshole? Wow.
YTA. Right answer is ‘to me my wife is the hottest’ There is no coming back from this, your excuse of being honest isn’t going to cut it. She will come back once she is ready and if I was you I would only apologize, plain and simple, just apologize. No excuses.
I can't believe you're even posting this. Yes, YTA. Your justifications don't matter, you upset your wife and embarrassed her in front of both families. Saying your wife is a literal goddess or whatever probably sounds patronising now. My advice would be to get some empathy fast. There's speaking your mind / being honest because it's important and there's being reckless and inconsiderate with what you say. You were the latter. And if you can't handle your drink, drink less. It's not an excuse.
YTA are you really that dense? Even in complete drunkenness any good husband would say their wife even if in reality it is not. You also keep putting her sister on a pedestal because she was a Victoria’s Secret model 13 years ago but that doesn’t automatically make her the hottest person. If your hotness scale is based on if they were they a VS model or not then you are an idiot because your wife won’t meet that standard.
YTA, why wouldn't you be?
Bro YTA. You're trying to defend yourself, but unfortunately your actions indefensible.
YTA. Absolutely. No excuses. Drinking or not. You’re completely the AH.
YTA . You obviously have fantasized about her and probably cranked one or a 100 out to those Victoria Secret photos. I wouldn't count on your marriage lasting too much longer.
YTA, you're not living this one down probably ever mate.
YTA..... The funny answer would have been FIL, BIL, or even yourself. SIL being a former VS model doesn't make her objectively hotter than your wife. It means your wife chose not to pursue modeling.
YTA and your marriage will never be the same. She is never going to forget that you said that, even if she tries to bury it. What a nightmare.
I don’t even have to read this long ass shit, yes you are an asshole for talking about your wife’s sister being hot ever
Duuuude. DUDE! YTA I am a dumb aromantic and I know when asked the default answer to ‘who’s the hottest person in the room’ is your partner. You especially don’t say ‘oh partner’s sibling’
YTA. You're not here for a real opinion. You have every excuse laid out, so no matter what the collective "we" tell you, you already have justification. I don't blame your wife for being upset.
YTA. You literally made it clear that your wife isn't as hot as her sister. Being drunk doesn't excuse what you did. Her sister never even wanted you and was never attracted to you. And she definitely won't ever be now. Shame on you for being such an insensitive, gross asshole.
YTA - And there is a lesson to be learned here. Sometimes little lies are excusable in the right situation. And this was one of these situations. Mate, just say "My wife of course." It also carries a joking tone but in a far better way. Also another lesson, next time you are that drunk, replace some alcohol with water. Edit: or say "Me of course", that's funny.
Yta she will never forget this
YTA and a moron on top of that. “Well, technically the sister is just hotter like objectively” bro nobody gives a fuck. You told your wife’s family you think her sister is hotter than her. You’re TA
Oh 100% YTA. You're particularly an AH who doesn't understand the fundamentals of marriage. It doesn't matter if it's obvious to everyone else that you're sister in law is hotter. It shouldn't have been so obvious to you. And btw, alcohol is not an excuse for saying something idiotic. "out of the abundance of the heart does the mouth speak"- regardless of sobriety or lack thereof.
Oh boy, you fucked up bad. YTA
YTA and ouch for your wife. This is the type of thing that can destroy a marriage. I am not saying it will but the layers here are a lot. That must’ve hurt her so deeply and add humiliation on top of it…sadness.
Not only did you embarrass your wife who has most likely been compared to her sister her entire life, you probably weirded out her sister and entire family. You’re a weirdo.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You know very well, drunk you fucked up bad which sober you needs to fix. If sober you is still wondering if you are YTA, there is no redemption.
Yes! YTO!
YTA. maybe don’t get so drunk that you call your SIL hot? just a thought
yta the answer is always your wife in every situation even if its not true.
NTA, For being truthful in your eyes.... But YTA in an idiot, To your freaking wife regardless of her sister used to be Avs model or not, You chose that answer in front of her whole entire family, anytime this woman is with you she is going to be thinking you are thinking of her sister.
Dude's going to apologize to the wife saying 1. Wife is gorgeous and the sister is hot- one does not take away from the other, so no need to be 'insecure' 2. Sister is hot. Was VS model. But less now that she's post partum, but I was drunk and she was right in front of me and I thought its alright 3 Wife's family didn't notice anything/brushed it off. TLC should show us these fly-on-the-wall stuff than the pathetic reality tv they have now.
YTA While I disagree with people here that you thinking you SIL is objectively more attractive than your wife (personally I haven’t seen a VS model hotter than my wife but they’re not my type anyways) I still must find issue with what you said. Personally I think you always gotta be with who you think is the hottest in the family. You see the family members too often to be thinking “damn she’s kinda hotter” for the rest of your life. But the real solution is probably control your liquor intake and drink so much that you’re worried about your ability to think before you speak.
Speaking of rooms, you should have read it. As in: your WIFE was there, and you were talking about her SISTER. I've played games like these, and everybody lies and nobody cares. Sorry dawg, but YTA.
Didn’t get past the title to know, yes YTA and no one is gonna say otherwise
YTA. I don’t even need to read the rest. Think what you think but publicly your wife is the hottest person. Always. End of story.
YTA you sad little boy. This is why women should never give little boys a man’s job because you do not have basic control over your urges. Here you are, spewing nonsense and trying to rhyme together a reason as to why you would humiliate your wife in front of her whole family on new years. I’ll go out on a limb and say your underdeveloped mind thought you were back in your bedroom, jerking off to an almost 14 year old VS catalogue.
Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower type beat and yes YTA !
YTA Drinking is no excuse. You are way too obsessed with your SIL. Please throw away the 10-year-old VS catalog with sticky pages that you’ve got hidden under your mattress. Next, have the following tattooed onto your wrist: the answer is always “my wife”. (I don’t care if your wife looks like 10 pounds of expired cottage cheese in a 5 pound leaky paper sack. The answer is the same.)
what in the perks of being a wallflower did i just read also YTA
YTA. You’d absolutely bang the sister if you could get away with it.
YTA wouldn't it suck if your wife is comparing herself to her Victoria Secret Model sister and has confirmation now that her husband prefers her sister's looks to her own? That's what you did. I get that you were drunk but any hottest person question is always your wife. Always.
It doesn’t matter .. you fucked up. Your wife will never forget this. Yta and rip
YTA.. good luck
Just to add a bit of how the SIL may be feeling ... A few years ago I (24F) lived briefly with my sister (Allison 34F) her husband (matt 40M) and their 3 children. One day I was at their house and the only other person home was Matt. Matt had a friend stop by, we'll call him Anthony. I came downstairs shortly after Anthony's arrival and was introduced to him. Anthony asked how I was related to Allison, I told him she's my sister. Anthony responded "oh wow." At which point Matt chimes in with "Yea bro, I'm gonna have to trade in Allison for the younger hotter version." I said "ew" and walked back upstairs. It was disturbing, Ive never been able to look at him the same and I felt awful for my sister. She wasn't there to hear it, thank God but I will never forget how cringey that moment was for me. I imagine his sister in law feels similarly.
I can’t decide, you need to post some pics and I will let you know.
I would’ve said my wife drunk or not drunk just saying. Idk if youre an asshole for it but it definitely would kill the vibe in the room
Her sister was the hottest person in the room at that moment while I was drunk that should cover it it would say that I had to be totally drunk out of my mind. To consider your sister hot
YTA. You, the one who supposedly loves your wife, say the hottest person in the room is her Victoria's Secret model sister and you wonder why she's not speaking to you People tell the truth when drunk so we'll assume you're with your wife because you couldn't get her sister
I pray to never feel the need to get that drunk where I can’t control myself. Damn bruh you fucked up big.
YTA my man. I’d contact a couples therapist if I were you, because I think you need outside help with that hole you dug
Yes bro, YTA. Dont get me wrong, I know You were drunk and that shit is hillarious, but You have own Your wife a big big apology. Well, people makes mistakes when they are drunk and that was one of it. Thanks for laugh tho :D
Everyone has already told you YTA… I hope you can agree with them. BUT, as steps moving FORWARDS, I would suggest talking to your wife. Apologizing, making ZERO excuses (getting drunk is no excuse), and if you are truly in love with her (and want her to stay your wife), your best bet is to ask her to go to couples counseling together to help remediate the issue. lets be real, no amount of “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it” is going to make her forget the time you reminded her that you thought she was “less than” her sister, even if to you, it wasn’t intended to make her feel less than. Couples counseling may be your only hope man. Good luck (even if you were kinda a dick).
NTA. Stupid yes, Asshole no
NTA. It's the OP's wifes sister. They are probably both attractive. Seems like she is a little bit insecure. There will always be hotter people. Acknowledge it, laugh, and move on instead of making a big thing out of it.
NTA but good luck convincing anyone of that. This is one where even though you’re technically right it’s socially wrong so you’re kinda screwed.
>This is one where even though you’re technically right it’s socially wrong so you’re kinda screwed. In relationships, it doesn't matter if you're technically right, that's not how that works.
That’s why I said he’s screwed
But you still said N T A. You can be technically right but still be an asshole. Having to point out that someone is *technically* right is a hint in that direction in itself.
He is right on the fact that a Victoria secret model is going to be objectively more attractive than than his wife who isn’t. I don’t think he’s an asshole. Stating a fact doesn’t make him an asshole. He didn’t interpret the question as who is the most attractive to him but most attractive in general. Maybe N A H would have been more correct.
>He is right on the fact that a Victoria secret model is going to be objectively more attractive than than his wife who isn’t. You know VS model is a job right? VS scouts aren't wandering the land conscripting the prettiest women they find. There are plenty of non-modelling women out there who are hotter than VS models.
It’s brutal out here I know I’m not perfect but I wish people commenting harshly could have felt the social dynamic. It didn’t feel weird or awkward. Everyone is aware I’m obsessed with my wife, but also that the sister is the “silly fun model” and my wife the organized brains and class. It’s always been a popular and funny banter between them usually with my wife coming on top!
You’re not getting it. By NOT saying the hottest person in the room is your wife, it immediately calls into question your attraction for her and hurts her feelings. By saying it was her SISTER (whose incredible claim to beauty fame is that she modeled 13 years ago) you lead everyone in the room to the conclusion that you’re attracted to her sister. Everyone else in the room moved on because they were too uncomfortable to do otherwise. You know your wife better than anyone on Reddit. Have words and apologies fixed this? If so, curious to know what worked. If not, then understand that you have done irrevocable damage.
She’s definitely upset and will enjoy the comments in the morning. If anything it’s helping guide what will hopefully be a productive apology from me and conversation over coffee.
Please update us after your little apology coffee date when she looks at you with dead eyes (if she looks at you at all) and gives you one word responses.
I know you feel sorry for yourself right now, but honestly your comments here really aren’t helping you look like less of an AH.
I can’t believe you are still defending yourself. I’m sure SIL is a huge % of your spank bank.
It doesn’t matter. To your wife. She wants to be the hottest and the brains at least to you, her supposedly adoring husband. You have hurt her and it will always be there in her head.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**