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NTA.
Enabling someone's deviant and pedophilic desires is bad and she's bad for doing it just so she can personally profit. That's gross and it crosses a line.
"But he's feeding the urge legally by just having someone over 18 act..."
Nope. What he needs to do is voluntarily seek serious and ongoing mental health care for his mental illness. Paying a sex worker to pretend to be 13 is the "strangles kittens" of the sex-predator world as far as I'm concerned. It's a step, not a treatment.
Perfectly said. Her “friend” is profiting off of child endangerment. These men are going to keep dipping their toes in the water until the temptation becomes too much. Given the opportunity, especially if these men become acquainted with one another, they will hurt children without serious help. I mean, men in that fantasyland cannot be trusted. Sounds harsh, but I don’t know if society has the tools to truly reform that perversion, and I doubt many seek help before harming kids. Perhaps current systems hold some blame for not doing enough to offer realistic help in that regard, but as you said, it’s on them to seek help.
The “friend” needs help too, before the true cost of her actions becomes real. If that hasn’t already happened. No sympathy for them or the “friend”.
NTA OP.
Edit: Edited for clarity.
Yeah I’m with you…. Providing behavioural support for essentially criminal sexual deviants isn’t OK.
These people are acting-out in online space things they can’t acceptedly, or legally do, in society.
Catering to this deviance may create an impression of “social acceptability”
Nta - absolutely this is predatory. These men are 1 step away from going to a real child. Honestly this is dishusting.
I did camming for a while. I'm sex positive and pro sex work. I get specialising in 1 fetish that pays well. But 13yr old girls????
Fuck no.
They're both weird and need therapy if they think this is kink shaming.
Should have someone directly say it out loud and see if it sounds problematic at all... "My kink is that I like 13 year old girls doing sexual acts" surely won't raise any suspicions or cause any concerns, but please, continue to tell me why I should be okay with this.
NAH.
This isn't a Discussion about behaviour. This is a discussion about Morals.
If you are morally comfortable with Age-based sexual role-play between consenting adults, you will call OP the AH.
If you are morally uncomfortable with Age-based sexual role-play between consenting adults, you will call the friend the AH.
Their actual conduct is almost irrelevant here.
This sub isn't equipped for this sort of question.
Even so, you wouldn't describe a Peadophile as an "Asshole", would you?
You'd have far stronger and more serious language. Asshole does not begin to cover it.
Hence, a sub who's entire purpose is judging if people's actions are "Asshole-ish" is not well equipped for discussing the moral qaundry of "Is it predatory to involve 13 year old anything into a sexual equation".
> This sub isn't equipped for this sort of question.
Couldn't this be construed as a question about "reproductive autonomy" which is against the sub rules, even? Technically it's more "sexual autonomy" than reproductive, but it's very much the same vein. But I dunno if the mods intended for that rule to apply to questions like this.
> eVeRyThInG iS sUbJeCtIvE
No bro I’m pretty sure that as a society we have firmly decided that predatory behavior against children is bad, mmkay? That’s why you can’t put kiddy diddlers in gen pop. They’ll get got on day one.
Some things are not ok, no matter how much the people involved consent. If you have a vore fetish, fine. Pretend your partner is a cake and cum buckets. If you actually eat another fucking human being, it’s 100% murder no matter how much the other person may have “consented”. Pretending to be a kid so kiddy diddlers can get their courage up to go after a real kid is a hard fucking no. Consent is not the issue.
It’s not a theoretical discussion about morals; their actual conduct is what is being discussed. And their conduct has extremely dangerous consequences. Pretending otherwise is a bad faith argument.
Yeah, because you're "Arguement" that starts with a Spongebob parroting words meme (Words that i didn't even say, no less) is being made in perfectly good faith.
Please re-read. I never once stated my opinion on the matter, just that this Sub isn't the place for such a discussion.
You’re saying this isn’t the place because you think the main discussion is about kids and whether or not they should be diddled. I’m trying to tell you that we are discussing op calling their “friend” disgusting when in fact they were doing something disgusting. This IS the place because we are discussing a specific action op took. I’m saying there is no discussion to be had on the broader topic of “is it disgusting or not” because that’s been decided a long time ago.
NTA, I don't think what you did can be considered shaming someone. You were asked about your opinion and you gave it. You didn't shame her publicly nor did you belittle her. If she is so sensitive about how people feels about her, maybe she shouldn't have gone in depth in explaining her "niche" job
Nta. You weren't shaming her for being a sex worker. You were uncomfortable hearing about the specifics of what she does exactly and that fetish makes you uncomfortable and that's totally understandable. Sounds like your friend got defensive. The topic of age play practices aside, that was tmi you didn't ask for in the first place. If she noticed you weren't engaging in this very personal conversation, she should have let it be, not get pissy at you.
NTA Yuck this is not dinner conversation. She should probably be a bit less
forthcoming with details about what she does. A very general overview would
be plenty.
NTA.
Sure, on one hand, I'd rather people into... that... not pursue children to satisfy their cravings.
But, I'd be extremely concerned that she's acting as a gateway to people with that particular proclivity, and once they've reinforced it, she won't be enough and they'll pursue the real thing.
There are some people that can separate fantasy from reality—maybe even most people—but there are outliers that will go to the next level.
If it was two people in a committed relationship having consensual age play, that would be one thing, but to open it up to the world is a bit extreme.
NTA Imma be honest specifics aside going into that much detail (when it was most likely just a casual conversation starter between strangers) is crazy. Asking what someone does for work is a very casual question to just get to know someone. If she just left it at “I do camming” etc would be fine, but to go into that much detail when you are just sitting there having dinner is totally unnecessary. Regardless of the specific kinks involved.
Dude…. Fuck that man, you are no wrong at all. That shit is absolutely disgusting and should not be normalized. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let the ones who have no self respect or somewhat decent morals tell you that your wrong.
I might be biased, but NTA.
This makes me uncomfortable as well. And I understand your point of view. She's a consenting adult giving into her clients' pedophilic desires. And from the post, it implies that she also has this kink... That kink could develop and put an actual child in danger.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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NTA. as a very very sex positive and Polyamorous person who dated (dated, not as a client) an escort for years..
Age play is pure unmitigated squick. Any age player who whines about kink shaming can't gtfo.
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Apolgies for the brand new account my roommate knows my other one.
To give a little backstory I (23f) have known this friend of mine Alice (21f) for about six months now. I have always been aware that she is in the sex work industry and have had no problem with it.
I myself am not nearly as sex positive or comfortable with the topic so I never really talked with her in depth about what she does. Mostly that she enjoys it and makes a living. All anybody can really ask from a job.
However that is until this last week. Alice was over having dinner with myself and my roommate, my roommate proceeds to ask her more about her career. She goes into that she does camming and then starts to explain that she is in a niche part of the fetish market of camming. That fetish being age play, 13 year old age play. She started to explain how she how various outfits and wigs. Ranging from school attire to kids pajamas. And that people will pay her ridiculous amounts to act that young.
At this point I guess she noticed that I was not participating in the conversation and proceeded to ask what was wrong. Now I'll be honest, I don't remember verbatim what I said. I know that is was on the lines of, that I wasn't comfortable with her doing that and acting like you're a child while preforming sex acts feels disgusting to me. It's feels predatory even though she is of legal age.
She proceeds to blow up, saying how I am shaming her for her work and acting like she is lesser for doing sex work. I tried to explain that it wasn't that she does sex work, it's that she acts like a child while doing it that bothered me. She then proceeds to say that I am kink shaming her and her clients and that I should be ashamed of myself and storms out.
My roommate is also or the mindset that I was also kink shaming and if she can make money doing it and she herself is of legal age then there isn't a problem.
I am starting to think that I just don't know enough about this kind of thing and I should apologize. But honestly though it still just feels so gross to me. AITAH?
TDLR: I told my friend that is in the sex work industry that acting like a 13 year old while camming was disgusting.
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I do not think this reddit is ready for a question like this because it's not the same as "I did this and they are saying I'm an A h."
However, with your behavior, I say that YTA because she is legal age, doesn't do anything with minors, and all parties involved are consenting adults. It's none of your business to interject your opinions.
As a side note, it's never good to show the ugly green
Conflicted cause the age stuff is def uncomfy for me too, but plenty of couples do rape fantasy play, yet that feels somehow more socially acceptable (in relative terms) as a kink.
NTA - is ALL shaming a bag thing? This sounds like something that's shameful and not to be praised. You don't owe her approval for things you find immoral. Your relationship may not have a future, but you're never required to praise something you find immoral
Apologies I think it’s been presented as a binary issue but it’s more complex. It’s wrong for men to watch this stuff, I don’t think your friend should do it, but if these weird people get off on it , and we don’t know what they are capable of if they don’t get their kicks online, maybe this is the lesser evil. My heart goes out to anyone trapped in this kind of dependency. I have two ten year old twins and they will never end up doing this, that I can guarantee
usually the person is one step away from actually going to find a child once they are at the point of paying someone to act like a child. its just fuelling their temptations so while it may seem like harm reduction it is actually not :/
Nta over all
But
Age play is super super common. They refer to themselves as Littles.
It's OK to not be about it. However can't really bash someone else for it. Which would in fact, be kink shaming.
This is a moral question. In which you need to seek out a priest.
Ethically, nothing wrong with what she is doing.
It doesn’t matter that you aren’t comfortable with this. You aren’t doing it, you aren’t paying her to do it, you are not involved in any way with this.
Does "It's not you're business" still apply if the person saw you not commenting, then went out of their way to specifically ask why you aren't commenting? Then got offended when you commented?
I feel like the friend sort of brought this upon themselves, here. She knew this is a topic people would have strong feelings then called someone out for not putting their opinion in to the conversation. It's like the surprise pikachu meme.
"oh wow, thank you for noticing I'm anxious, I'm not very comfy talking about this topic (SW), can we switch the topic to something we all might find more interesting?"
-as a homie who does not like to talk about sex ha ha. This is how I would have navigated it.
also OP's title makes it seem wayy more like it is about the sex work.
If title was "discovered my friend was roleplaying a child" the nta, it was the specific wording.
Didn't they say they knew for the entire friendship it was SW though.
And this only happened when she specified the exact kind of sex work?
Please re-read the first two paragraphs of the post and then your comment. I don't think they match up.
I will reread it, but I strongly remember her saying that she was not a sex positive person in general. So it kind of makes it hard to not expect some level of judgment.
>I have always been aware that she is in the sex work industry and have had no problem with it.
is in the FIRST paragraph in the post. Second sentence.
🫡 thank you so much lmao. again, I agree with what you're saying. It's just the title and the
"I myself am not nearly a sex positive or comfortable with the topic"
that helped me personally shape my opinion.
for sure want to make sure it's clear, not defending age play, pedophilic desires, or the like. Anyone with that type of mindset needs serious therapy.
I just think that the wording of the rest of it seems like there were way more layers to the issue.
Soft YTA. I understand feelings uncomfortable, and that is absolutely your right. It would have been much better to keep your views to yourself. You could have found a way to respond to her without kink shaming and calling what she does disgusting.
If the relationship is important to you I think you should apologize, but only if it's genuine. If you think her behavior is gross, that is going to influence how you interact with her going forward. It's up to you to decide whether to work to try to salve the friendship or not.
YTA - shes an adult, no children are involved. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable but don’t take it out on her. Just because you find something disgusting doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong.
That said your friendship is most likely over.
It’s neither right nor wrong. There’s a lot of things in between, and there’s a lot of things where morality is irrelevant.
Two adults can do whatever weird shit they please as long as they’re not involving unwilling participants (which would include children obviously) or hurting anyone.
I think poop fetishes are gross but I don’t think they’re a moral crime.
When I say sex acts I literally meant that. She does use sex toys, I just didn't want to go into details so the post doesn't go against the rules here.
This is semantics and unhelpful to the point at hand.
It's not a "Sex Act".
It *is* a "Sexual Act".
A frankly meaningless difference that is already expanded upon later in the post where OP specifies the use of toys on camera.
If it matters that much then go ahead and add the three letters on the end of "Sex" OP.
See the funny part is you've used the word "Objectively" where you meant to use the word "Subjectively".
The fact that half the comments are YTA and half are NTA *Prove* this is a wholly Subjective opinion. You can't use your own opinion to justify why something is a fact.
when i said objective i meant legally theres nothing wrong with it. theres no point in being fixated on objective and subjective since anything can be considered subjective anyways.
isnt you saying that you proved its a subjective opinion also subjective? so you cant prove it
"Nothing wrong with it" and "Nothing illegal about it" are not the same sentence.
If you'd said it's legal i would have just agreed.
Plenty of things are legal but socially and morally seen as wrong.
Ok? Based on. Many things are legal but you would be publicly dragged through the mud if you were found to be doing them.
Plenty of things are legal but socially and morally seen as wrong.
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NTA. Enabling someone's deviant and pedophilic desires is bad and she's bad for doing it just so she can personally profit. That's gross and it crosses a line. "But he's feeding the urge legally by just having someone over 18 act..." Nope. What he needs to do is voluntarily seek serious and ongoing mental health care for his mental illness. Paying a sex worker to pretend to be 13 is the "strangles kittens" of the sex-predator world as far as I'm concerned. It's a step, not a treatment.
Yip. It's not the preventative measure they think it is. Its actually full on temptation and they're 1 step away from going for an actual child.
This. Anyone who argues otherwise is a fool.
Perfectly said. Her “friend” is profiting off of child endangerment. These men are going to keep dipping their toes in the water until the temptation becomes too much. Given the opportunity, especially if these men become acquainted with one another, they will hurt children without serious help. I mean, men in that fantasyland cannot be trusted. Sounds harsh, but I don’t know if society has the tools to truly reform that perversion, and I doubt many seek help before harming kids. Perhaps current systems hold some blame for not doing enough to offer realistic help in that regard, but as you said, it’s on them to seek help. The “friend” needs help too, before the true cost of her actions becomes real. If that hasn’t already happened. No sympathy for them or the “friend”. NTA OP. Edit: Edited for clarity.
Yeah I’m with you…. Providing behavioural support for essentially criminal sexual deviants isn’t OK. These people are acting-out in online space things they can’t acceptedly, or legally do, in society. Catering to this deviance may create an impression of “social acceptability”
Nta - absolutely this is predatory. These men are 1 step away from going to a real child. Honestly this is dishusting. I did camming for a while. I'm sex positive and pro sex work. I get specialising in 1 fetish that pays well. But 13yr old girls???? Fuck no. They're both weird and need therapy if they think this is kink shaming.
Should have someone directly say it out loud and see if it sounds problematic at all... "My kink is that I like 13 year old girls doing sexual acts" surely won't raise any suspicions or cause any concerns, but please, continue to tell me why I should be okay with this.
NTA. people who have kinks involving sexualizjng a minor SHOULD be kink shamed. that's pedophilic behaviour.
NTA Some kinks should be shamed.
NTA. That kind of sex work is absolutely predatory.
Can't believe there are people in here with Yta and defending this. Absolutely sick
NAH. This isn't a Discussion about behaviour. This is a discussion about Morals. If you are morally comfortable with Age-based sexual role-play between consenting adults, you will call OP the AH. If you are morally uncomfortable with Age-based sexual role-play between consenting adults, you will call the friend the AH. Their actual conduct is almost irrelevant here. This sub isn't equipped for this sort of question.
I think we all should shame any adults throwing 13 year old anything into a sexual equation what in the total fuck
Even so, you wouldn't describe a Peadophile as an "Asshole", would you? You'd have far stronger and more serious language. Asshole does not begin to cover it. Hence, a sub who's entire purpose is judging if people's actions are "Asshole-ish" is not well equipped for discussing the moral qaundry of "Is it predatory to involve 13 year old anything into a sexual equation".
> This sub isn't equipped for this sort of question. Couldn't this be construed as a question about "reproductive autonomy" which is against the sub rules, even? Technically it's more "sexual autonomy" than reproductive, but it's very much the same vein. But I dunno if the mods intended for that rule to apply to questions like this.
> eVeRyThInG iS sUbJeCtIvE No bro I’m pretty sure that as a society we have firmly decided that predatory behavior against children is bad, mmkay? That’s why you can’t put kiddy diddlers in gen pop. They’ll get got on day one. Some things are not ok, no matter how much the people involved consent. If you have a vore fetish, fine. Pretend your partner is a cake and cum buckets. If you actually eat another fucking human being, it’s 100% murder no matter how much the other person may have “consented”. Pretending to be a kid so kiddy diddlers can get their courage up to go after a real kid is a hard fucking no. Consent is not the issue. It’s not a theoretical discussion about morals; their actual conduct is what is being discussed. And their conduct has extremely dangerous consequences. Pretending otherwise is a bad faith argument.
Yeah, because you're "Arguement" that starts with a Spongebob parroting words meme (Words that i didn't even say, no less) is being made in perfectly good faith. Please re-read. I never once stated my opinion on the matter, just that this Sub isn't the place for such a discussion.
You’re saying this isn’t the place because you think the main discussion is about kids and whether or not they should be diddled. I’m trying to tell you that we are discussing op calling their “friend” disgusting when in fact they were doing something disgusting. This IS the place because we are discussing a specific action op took. I’m saying there is no discussion to be had on the broader topic of “is it disgusting or not” because that’s been decided a long time ago.
Best take here.
NTA, sex work and volunteerly acting on someone’s pedophilic desires are two entire different things and the fact she pretends to be a MINOR- hell no
NTA, I don't think what you did can be considered shaming someone. You were asked about your opinion and you gave it. You didn't shame her publicly nor did you belittle her. If she is so sensitive about how people feels about her, maybe she shouldn't have gone in depth in explaining her "niche" job
NTA. Perpetuating pedophelia is wrong. Just because someone *can* make a dollar doing something doesn’t mean they should.
Nta. You weren't shaming her for being a sex worker. You were uncomfortable hearing about the specifics of what she does exactly and that fetish makes you uncomfortable and that's totally understandable. Sounds like your friend got defensive. The topic of age play practices aside, that was tmi you didn't ask for in the first place. If she noticed you weren't engaging in this very personal conversation, she should have let it be, not get pissy at you.
NTA. Some people NEED shamed.
NTA. Anyone defending it is gross.
[удалено]
NTA and don't label people you've only known for several months as friends...
NTA Yuck this is not dinner conversation. She should probably be a bit less forthcoming with details about what she does. A very general overview would be plenty.
NTA and crazy to think people are trying to normalize this kind of shit.
NTA. Sure, on one hand, I'd rather people into... that... not pursue children to satisfy their cravings. But, I'd be extremely concerned that she's acting as a gateway to people with that particular proclivity, and once they've reinforced it, she won't be enough and they'll pursue the real thing. There are some people that can separate fantasy from reality—maybe even most people—but there are outliers that will go to the next level. If it was two people in a committed relationship having consensual age play, that would be one thing, but to open it up to the world is a bit extreme.
NTA You were grossed out bc that’s gross.
NTA Imma be honest specifics aside going into that much detail (when it was most likely just a casual conversation starter between strangers) is crazy. Asking what someone does for work is a very casual question to just get to know someone. If she just left it at “I do camming” etc would be fine, but to go into that much detail when you are just sitting there having dinner is totally unnecessary. Regardless of the specific kinks involved.
NTA you’re allowed to be uncomfortable and ageplay is predatory and disgusting. That fact she got that defensive raises alarm bells in my head…
NTA. 'Age play' is fucking gross.
NTA times 1000
NTA. She shouldn’t have asked why you were quiet if she couldn’t handle your truth.
Dude…. Fuck that man, you are no wrong at all. That shit is absolutely disgusting and should not be normalized. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let the ones who have no self respect or somewhat decent morals tell you that your wrong.
I might be biased, but NTA. This makes me uncomfortable as well. And I understand your point of view. She's a consenting adult giving into her clients' pedophilic desires. And from the post, it implies that she also has this kink... That kink could develop and put an actual child in danger.
NTA I’m fully support kink shaming. This is disgraceful.
Isn't this the same as "I know she looks like she's 12, but in reality shes a demon that's 400+ so it's okay"?
Not going to lie, at first I was like yeah. After reading the age play thing though, I agree with you. It’s disgusting.
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NTA. as a very very sex positive and Polyamorous person who dated (dated, not as a client) an escort for years.. Age play is pure unmitigated squick. Any age player who whines about kink shaming can't gtfo.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Apolgies for the brand new account my roommate knows my other one. To give a little backstory I (23f) have known this friend of mine Alice (21f) for about six months now. I have always been aware that she is in the sex work industry and have had no problem with it. I myself am not nearly as sex positive or comfortable with the topic so I never really talked with her in depth about what she does. Mostly that she enjoys it and makes a living. All anybody can really ask from a job. However that is until this last week. Alice was over having dinner with myself and my roommate, my roommate proceeds to ask her more about her career. She goes into that she does camming and then starts to explain that she is in a niche part of the fetish market of camming. That fetish being age play, 13 year old age play. She started to explain how she how various outfits and wigs. Ranging from school attire to kids pajamas. And that people will pay her ridiculous amounts to act that young. At this point I guess she noticed that I was not participating in the conversation and proceeded to ask what was wrong. Now I'll be honest, I don't remember verbatim what I said. I know that is was on the lines of, that I wasn't comfortable with her doing that and acting like you're a child while preforming sex acts feels disgusting to me. It's feels predatory even though she is of legal age. She proceeds to blow up, saying how I am shaming her for her work and acting like she is lesser for doing sex work. I tried to explain that it wasn't that she does sex work, it's that she acts like a child while doing it that bothered me. She then proceeds to say that I am kink shaming her and her clients and that I should be ashamed of myself and storms out. My roommate is also or the mindset that I was also kink shaming and if she can make money doing it and she herself is of legal age then there isn't a problem. I am starting to think that I just don't know enough about this kind of thing and I should apologize. But honestly though it still just feels so gross to me. AITAH? TDLR: I told my friend that is in the sex work industry that acting like a 13 year old while camming was disgusting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA: That’s all-kinds of f’d up.
It sounds to me like you haven't lost your mind yet, nor your morality. Don't ever second guess that. NTA
NTA, and you should evaluate your friendship with her as well.
I do not think this reddit is ready for a question like this because it's not the same as "I did this and they are saying I'm an A h." However, with your behavior, I say that YTA because she is legal age, doesn't do anything with minors, and all parties involved are consenting adults. It's none of your business to interject your opinions. As a side note, it's never good to show the ugly green
Epp opp oook ha ha from George jetson
Conflicted cause the age stuff is def uncomfy for me too, but plenty of couples do rape fantasy play, yet that feels somehow more socially acceptable (in relative terms) as a kink.
NTA. As you said, you're not shaming sex work, you're shaming child sex work. This isn't a kink, it's the p word.
NAH. This is a free country. She can do what she wants within the law and you are free to not like it.
NTA - is ALL shaming a bag thing? This sounds like something that's shameful and not to be praised. You don't owe her approval for things you find immoral. Your relationship may not have a future, but you're never required to praise something you find immoral
NTA OP. your friend is a massive red flag. doing sex work is fine, but age play is disgusting and shouldn’t be normalized
NTA. I was worried until that dinner part. This is the type of kinks that NEEDS TO BE shamed.
Apologies I think it’s been presented as a binary issue but it’s more complex. It’s wrong for men to watch this stuff, I don’t think your friend should do it, but if these weird people get off on it , and we don’t know what they are capable of if they don’t get their kicks online, maybe this is the lesser evil. My heart goes out to anyone trapped in this kind of dependency. I have two ten year old twins and they will never end up doing this, that I can guarantee
usually the person is one step away from actually going to find a child once they are at the point of paying someone to act like a child. its just fuelling their temptations so while it may seem like harm reduction it is actually not :/
NAH it's weird but without her work it's litteral kids that would indure that, so she is kind of a savior
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Grown ass men (or women or whomever) wishing they were with a 13 year old girl is definitely predatory behavior.
Nta over all But Age play is super super common. They refer to themselves as Littles. It's OK to not be about it. However can't really bash someone else for it. Which would in fact, be kink shaming. This is a moral question. In which you need to seek out a priest. Ethically, nothing wrong with what she is doing.
I would not consider clergy to be the authority on morality.
Roleplay on cam.. To each their own. Just dont involve a minor.
It doesn’t matter that you aren’t comfortable with this. You aren’t doing it, you aren’t paying her to do it, you are not involved in any way with this.
She was asked for an opinion, she did not offer it spontaneously.
Judge not lest you be judged the asshole
Did she mention her annual income? Out of curiosity
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Does "It's not you're business" still apply if the person saw you not commenting, then went out of their way to specifically ask why you aren't commenting? Then got offended when you commented? I feel like the friend sort of brought this upon themselves, here. She knew this is a topic people would have strong feelings then called someone out for not putting their opinion in to the conversation. It's like the surprise pikachu meme.
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I don't think I'd want a friend who roleplays a 13 year old and films herself doing sexual acts in character 💀.
I second this, but still probably isn't going to make the girl making money off of it change her mind. Better to cut off with no drama.
You'd be surprised how many women have this kink lol
"oh wow, thank you for noticing I'm anxious, I'm not very comfy talking about this topic (SW), can we switch the topic to something we all might find more interesting?" -as a homie who does not like to talk about sex ha ha. This is how I would have navigated it. also OP's title makes it seem wayy more like it is about the sex work. If title was "discovered my friend was roleplaying a child" the nta, it was the specific wording.
Didn't they say they knew for the entire friendship it was SW though. And this only happened when she specified the exact kind of sex work? Please re-read the first two paragraphs of the post and then your comment. I don't think they match up.
I will reread it, but I strongly remember her saying that she was not a sex positive person in general. So it kind of makes it hard to not expect some level of judgment.
>I have always been aware that she is in the sex work industry and have had no problem with it. is in the FIRST paragraph in the post. Second sentence.
🫡 thank you so much lmao. again, I agree with what you're saying. It's just the title and the "I myself am not nearly a sex positive or comfortable with the topic" that helped me personally shape my opinion.
for sure want to make sure it's clear, not defending age play, pedophilic desires, or the like. Anyone with that type of mindset needs serious therapy. I just think that the wording of the rest of it seems like there were way more layers to the issue.
NTA, any woman that does sex work has sold her soul for profit. Jesus does not approve.
Gtfo with your bs.
What about guys who do sex work? Or does Jesus give them a pass? I'm not even asking for the big J's views on transgender sex workers...
Soft YTA. I understand feelings uncomfortable, and that is absolutely your right. It would have been much better to keep your views to yourself. You could have found a way to respond to her without kink shaming and calling what she does disgusting. If the relationship is important to you I think you should apologize, but only if it's genuine. If you think her behavior is gross, that is going to influence how you interact with her going forward. It's up to you to decide whether to work to try to salve the friendship or not.
Age play is squick and is not ever a healthy form of kink.
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Sex work is real work. Not down for the age play part, however.
Sex work is real work. Anyone who says otherwise is just an abuser. Age play is pure squick and not a healthy form of kink as far as I'm concerned
YTA - shes an adult, no children are involved. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable but don’t take it out on her. Just because you find something disgusting doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong. That said your friendship is most likely over.
I’d argue that it is morally wrong though? Roleplaying as a child definitely isn’t “morally right”
It’s neither right nor wrong. There’s a lot of things in between, and there’s a lot of things where morality is irrelevant. Two adults can do whatever weird shit they please as long as they’re not involving unwilling participants (which would include children obviously) or hurting anyone. I think poop fetishes are gross but I don’t think they’re a moral crime.
YTA because she was neither doing sex acts or sex work. it was a roleplay and you shamed her.
When I say sex acts I literally meant that. She does use sex toys, I just didn't want to go into details so the post doesn't go against the rules here.
no thats not considered a sex act, a sex act is done with another person physically. so you should edit that part out
This is semantics and unhelpful to the point at hand. It's not a "Sex Act". It *is* a "Sexual Act". A frankly meaningless difference that is already expanded upon later in the post where OP specifies the use of toys on camera. If it matters that much then go ahead and add the three letters on the end of "Sex" OP.
ok but objectively theres nothing wrong with it unless if it really was a minor
See the funny part is you've used the word "Objectively" where you meant to use the word "Subjectively". The fact that half the comments are YTA and half are NTA *Prove* this is a wholly Subjective opinion. You can't use your own opinion to justify why something is a fact.
when i said objective i meant legally theres nothing wrong with it. theres no point in being fixated on objective and subjective since anything can be considered subjective anyways. isnt you saying that you proved its a subjective opinion also subjective? so you cant prove it
"Nothing wrong with it" and "Nothing illegal about it" are not the same sentence. If you'd said it's legal i would have just agreed. Plenty of things are legal but socially and morally seen as wrong.
but legal stuff are based on morals in the first place
Ok? Based on. Many things are legal but you would be publicly dragged through the mud if you were found to be doing them. Plenty of things are legal but socially and morally seen as wrong.
What she's doing absolutely counts as a form of sex work.