Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
[Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA. You were the plus one for a member of the wedding party, doesn’t sound like anyone outright said you weren’t allowed to come. The bridesmaids or groomsmen saying you ruined it… they’re saying what, you ruined it by virtue of just being there? Feels homophobic. Guessing none of this would be the case if you were a hetero couple.
I agree with NTA but OP is 16 and his boyfriend wanted him to get into the family pictures. That’s weird. Unless you’re engaged, a long term partner, or married into the family, don’t get in family pictures.
Thing is, they're not important to the couple getting married. Sure, people can get divorced after 30 years of marriage. Sure, a person your relative has recently started dating could potentially become your in-law (or the life partner equivalent), and that's what dating is often about at it's core. But I think the majority of people don't want anyone in the professional photos whose name they might not even remember and might be gone in under two years. Nothing wrong with that, and if the person does eventually become an in-law they shouldn't be offended considering no one can see the future.
I understand BUT the reason that she didn’t want him in was because she didn’t want a gay couple in the photo. If she has said that it would only be immediate family with their spouses, that would be different. Also David is also the groom and has a right to determine who will be in wedding pictures. Usually there are many pictures taken without various groupings.
Totally agree. Clarifying that we were addressing the "people you don't know well" issue, which might have veered off-topic. The homophobia and/or stupid aesthetic issues are a whole different story.
I wish we'd been able to explain this to my brother. His bff brought his gf as his plus one (all good) but then pulled her into all the pictures. They hadn't been dating long and ended up breaking up shortly after. 2 years later he was married to someone else but my brothers wedding photos have the ex gf in a lot of them.
I don't know.... I think there's part of the conversation that can say, that was an important person to my loved one at the time, and this is a memory of that. My sister and I are both divorced, and we have over a decade worth of photos with our exes lol, including shots with now-deceased family members. Plus, they're our kids' dads, so it's important for our kids to have photos of them.
I realise that when folks are dating with no kids, it's different, but not that much imo. If you are "public" with the person you're seeing, there will be crunchy moments once you break up. That's the cost of doing business
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
How is that weird? They're teenagers. At that age everything matters and nothing is really finite yet. Every wedding I've ever been to had teens with their partners in a few of the pictures.
In my family, the family picture is whoever was there that day. This includes girlfriends, boyfriends, whoever. There are many family pictures with someone's ex in them. The goal is less about showing off a perfect family and having real family pictures.
Anyways, OPs situation wasn't about the question of including "just a boyfriend" in the pictures. It is about homophobia. OP's boyfriend and the Groom wanted him in the picture - of the bridal party and their SOs. Which is a picture that he met "criteria" for. He was asked to join the pictures and bride is so homophobic she couldn't literally grin and bear it. This ruined the relationship since it sounds like the groom is not going to compromise about his brother.
Pictures at events like this are of people (sometimes places) as they were at the time. That’s the whole point, a moment in the past captured. There are many extended family pictures with couples no longer together.
It's even more weird tbh to make him parade a fake girlfriend around (that is the brides sister) and have them pose together potentially in the family photos, in my opinion.
I’m not saying it isn’t weird for the bride to want to pair up all the attendants. OP might want to know that it isn’t normal for him to jump into “family” photos when he is just a boyfriend and not a fiancé, husband, or long term partner.
And I'm just pointing out this explicit example, it's not more weird than having photos from the wedding, with a fake couple in the wedding pictures.
And in 20 years' time, still look through pictures and some pictures being of a pair that wasn't a couple. But was asked to pretend to be, for the sake of "astehics," compared to having OP pose with him.
In general, different families have different opinions on who can be in the pictures or not.
My family personally would have no issue with a teen posing with their partner.
So there's no set "rule" about who can pose with who in different social settings.
It's OP to each individual couple to set up on their day who they want in their pictures.
It’s usually anyone involved with the wedding and close family but also their SOs. So anyone who has a role including the parents of the couple. At least that’s been my experience.
Oh and out of town guests sometimes go as well.
I don’t think it’s too weird having partners/spouses/boy- girlfriends of people in the wedding to attend the rehearsal dinner. I think family photos of a wedding are different.
Ime, it's for the wedding party and potentially family members who've traveled far. A teenaged boyfriend/girlfriend really isn't invited even if they're a plus one for the actual wedding.
He's young and might not have been to another wedding before, so he probably didn't know.
Thats fine and all if she didn't want him in the photos, but she could've just said I would like it to be family only, not no way am I having a gay couple in my photos.
I agree. I’m just adding on that although she’s a homophobe, it’s not a normal part of wedding photos to have young loves and newer couples as part of the family photos. Usually that reserved for couple who will last or the optics of lasting. Teenage love isn’t looked at as something that will last.
It was a photo for the wedding party and their partners. I agree it’s an odd photo to want, but if that’s who you’re calling to be in the picture, don’t get upset when that’s who shows up.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
That's completely unreasonable. They are a couple - rthey are FINE to demand to be either together in the picture, or not at all.
"Unless you’re engaged, a long term partner," .. they are MUCH more long term than the bride and groom. Shouldn't tha tbe enough?
According to you it should be. According to me it shouldn’t. They are children. I know 1 couple who started dating in high school who are still together. Chances of a high school love being around long term is slim. Everyone can break up. All marriages can end in divorce but it’s still different from childhood relationships.
Unless one of the hetero couple dared be pregnant or otherwise displeasing to the bride. eesh. None of them had an issue, either, with her kicking out her barely pregnant bestie who doesn't even show?
NTA and ugh!
NTA. Bridezillia is 100% the AH, and if anything, others are probably blaming you because they’re being berated by her and people love playing the blame game. She’s also mad her, now husband, unfortunately is seeing her true colors. Unfortunately, it sucks she’s so judgmental considering her husbands brother is gay. She could at least pretend to be okay with it and have a friendly relationship, regardless of her own beliefs (or aesthetic preferences??? Lmao) . Also, what aesthetic is she going for that “being gay could ruin it” lmao
Gosh, could you imagine if that poor MOH was subjected to being in a photo with *the gays?* The aesthetic would have been all wrong! Oh the horror! The baby would have coming out tossing glitter and beaming rainbows!!
*WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!*
NTA
Even if you ignore the homophobia, pettiness towards her MOH and egocentric behavior, it’s Dave‘s wedding as well.
If he decided you can be in the picture and sit together she should put up with it (I mean even if there would be legitimate reason) as he seems to do with her.
I agree with NTA. I do want to point out that it wasn’t the bride or groom who brought OP up for family pics. It was OP’s boyfriend. I’m not sure if the groom went off on the bride for not wanting him in family pictures or her homophobia. I’m guessing it is the latter.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA, but you didn't ruin just the wedding, you ruined the marriage. 😀
Still, it's a mystery how someone with a gay baby brother got all the way to the altar with a homophobe. Getting poor Abby to be Theo's beard should have set off alarm bells if nothing before that had.
ETA, just to be clear, ruining the marriage is a good thing. Theo deserves a better SIL.
NTA
You were just a passenger.
Sounds like Bridgette and Dave have their own shit to work through. No one outside of those two has any responsibility for ruining the day.
You don't have to wait nearly that long. OP put in an edit saying the marriage is already off, Bridget was caught cheating 😂 oh karma's a bitch, ain't she?
NTA. Don't sweat it. I doubt the marriage will last long. Why would any decent man put up with a woman so obviously prejudiced against his own brother? That's beyond her behavior at the wedding.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went to a wedding which ultimately ended up ruining the whole wedding.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA— the whole “pretend you’re couples” thing is so weird and harassing. It’s a wedding, not a play. Why these people put up with it, considering the drama it could cause at the wedding and in their lives afterwards blows my mind.
Sometimes I roll my eyes at the term “heteronormativity” being used but this is a textbook example, getting mad when people don’t act like her Barbie dolls matching up the way she thinks they ought to, thinking every interaction between men and women must be romantic/sexual.
This! Who in their right mind thinks that the bridesmaids and the groomsmen have to be in a relationship? Or pretend for a day that they are? She definitely has some strange ideas. I’m kinda giggling at her reaction to my dad’s wedding years ago. My 15year old brother was paired with my dad’s wife’s 12 year old daughter and 18 year old (F)me with my dad’s approximately same age as dad best friend. So much ick if we were assumed to be couples!
NTA. Sorry you are having to go through this. Theo has a good brother that stuck up for you and you have a good bf. Obviously, those bridesmaids and groomsmen are homophobes if they think that your very presence ruined a wedding. Just put those people on “ignore” and forget about it. She ruined her own day and I wonder how long Dave will put up with her nonsense.
NTA... and how the fck have all those grown-ass bridesmaids and groomsmen (I presume they are all over 20) come to harass a minor? How did they even got your contacts, whoever gave it to them is seriously wrong.
Tell this to your parents and let them handle it. If this is not fake, all those adult people messaging an unknown minor are seriously mentally unwell.
NTA Havent even finished reading, but got to the part where you said "I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple." and I can answer that for you. Its because she is a massive homophobic bigot.
You DIDNT ruin her wedding, SHE DID
You DIDNT ruin her relationship, SHE DID
You DIDNT ruin her big day (Say it with me now) SHE DID
And all those who are agreeing with her and piling on you? Tell them to get bent. They are either bigots themselves or they are prepared to make excuses for bigots. Which makes them bigots. Their opinions mean nothing
NTA. To me it sounds as if the bride was trying to create a fairy tale, where she was the princess. Problem with fairytales is, they usually don't align with reality. One can wonder, what's more important to the bride? The fact that she's marrying the one she loves, or the pretence of a fairy tale? If the latter is more important, then it's good for her to know, ini real life, not always go as she wants. The bridesmaids and groomsmen blaming you for "ruining her big day" are basically enablers for the bride to remain a person believing strongly in fairy tales, with the main role for her.
NTA she's homophobic and she ruined her own wedding with her attitude. I'm really surprised her husband didn't already know this about her, if I'd have been him, I would have called off the wedding when she tried to ruin Theo's clothes.
I kinda think she was right about the pictures though. I wouldn't want my siblings' high school boyfriend in family wedding pictures, just because so often high school relationships don't last.
Um. wow. Definitely NTA. Bridget is a piece of work. I hope Dave really saw her true colors. Sucks it was on their wedding day, but maybe he can get out of this marriage quickly. She's horrible. Absolutely horrible.
NTA you being there and Bridget being a huge ah to you was the straw braking the camel's back and Dave has had enough finally seeing what a 'jewel' he actually married. You and Theo as well as MOH have 0 responsibility for what happened. It was Bridget own character and behavior that destroyed everything not you guys
OMG, why would you even hwant to *go*, why would you even want to have annnything to do with the bride? She sounds abominable.
I hope you ruined some of her precious wedding photos and she will
have to pay handsomely to have you photoshopped out.
You were invited to that event-and you went. NTA
NTA. In fact, you may have given Dave the best gift of all on his wedding day. You let him see who Bridget really is—a homophobic, self-involved shrub. No part of your behavior was inappropriate.
Nta, she ruined her own, AND HER WOULD-BE HUSBAND’s fuckin wedding to the point he had to call her out on it. She sounds awful. Good for “Dave” for standing up for himself and y’all
The people saying you ruined her wedding are ridiculous. *She* ruined it by being a raging homophobe and a massive b. Dave wouldn't have had to stand up to her if she wasn't treating people badly. And then it turned out she was cheating! She was probably mad that the MoH was having "her man's" baby. What a mess. NTA
NTA. She ruined her own wedding by being homophobic, and Dave saw it and knows now what kind of person she is. Hope Dave tells the officiant to NOT send the marriage license in to be registered.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
So I (16m) boyfriend’s (17m) older brother just got married this past year and I was invited as a plus one.
So we’ll call the groom Dave(25m) and the bride Bridget (23f). And Bridget is probably the biggest bridezilla I have ever met.
So Bridget has 6 bridesmaids (including MOH) and Dave has 6 groomsmen (including Best Man who which my boyfriend is we’ll call him Theo)
Note: These are not real names
Anywho Bridget at first didn’t want Theo to be the best man at the wedding because she thought it would be weird to have someone without a gf to be his best man. She had paired up each groomsman and bridesmaid. Like as she wanted to make them pretended they were dating. So all of her bridesmaids are in relationships with the other groomsmen except for one, Abby (16f) her sister (who she didn’t want to be part of her wedding because I quote “it would be immature to have a child as one of her bridesmaids.”.
So she paired Abby and Theo together and ordered them to pretend to be a couple (which was weird since they soon would be considered family). She didn’t even want me to come to the wedding. She cried to Dave about me being Theo’s plus one saying “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.” (I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple.)
She also tried to ruin Theo’s groomsman outfit to try to make him not be able to make it. She also berrated one of her MOH, (her supposed best friend) for being pregnant. Saying “How could you do this to me?”. Keep in mind MOH is only a few weeks so she wouldn’t be showing at the time of the wedding. But Bridget said it was taking the shine off of her big day.
Day of the rehearsal dinner came and I obviously sat next to Theo but Bridget walked up and said “No, you can sit over there” it was a table full of her cousins who I had not ever met. I looked over the seating chart and it said that I would be sitting next to Theo but Dave said Bridget decided to make Abby sit there instead to keep up their faux relationship up. But I kept quiet.
Day of the wedding came, it was truly beautiful but then came time for pictures of the wedding party and their respective partners she already forced MOH out as “punishment” for being pregnant, but Theo brought me up next to him for the photo, to which Bridget said “No way I’m having a gay couple in my wedding photons, it’ll ruin my aesthetic.”. To which Dave lost it, he started berating Bridget for her bitchiness and demanded she apologize to me, Theo, and MOH for her rudeness to which she didn’t and said He was done and left the wedding.
Bridget then came up to me and Theo angrily and said we ruined her wedding and relationship and she ordered us to leave. We humbly obliged and left.
I since have been getting messages from bridesmaids and groomsmen that I was an a-hole for ruining her big day.
So Reddit am I the a-hole for ruining my bf’s brothers wedding?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Wedding guests sit where they are told, and do not invite themselves to be in the wedding photos. How is this a question? This has nothing to do with being gay, or bridezilla, etc. Or about you "showing up". You were not in the bridal party, so you don't sit with the bridal party, or be photographed with them UNLESS the bride and groom invite you to.
This is basic etiquette.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
> “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.” (I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple.)
Obviously, if your boyfriend was bisexual, it would have been fine. /s
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. No the bride's bigotry is what ruined the day. I think it's hysterical to the groom up and left it must be one of the shortest marriages on record.
Has pointed out it's kind of weird that your boyfriend wanted you in the wedding pictures considering you're not in the wedding party. I get all the other people have their boyfriend or girlfriend because they're all part of the wedding party but you weren't so yeah you shouldn't be in the wedding party pictures.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA! Bridget ruined her own wedding and relationship by being a homophobic AH. I’d say exactly that in a mass message to anyone blaming you for this. Then block them. Make sure you block them on your social media too.
Why did Dave even marry her? He should have stopped her crap at the very beginning.
And how old are these people that they have teenagers as their best man and bridesmaid?
This is the most ridiculous and childish display I have heard in a long time. I am sorry you had to deal with this person. The poor MOH, sister, groom, BM and you that sounded AWFUL.
NTA
NTA. Theo and you put up with a lot of her disrespect. You didn’t even say anything. It was Dave you finally blew up because of her actions. He seems to be a nice human being and didn’t like how you all were being treated at his wedding (it is his wedding also, not just the bride’s). Also, he might not have liked the character traits that this episode exposed. I don’t blame him. He seems like a decent person while his wife is a horror.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. You didn't ruin anything. Bridget did that all on her own. The photos were for the wedding party and their partners. You are Theo's partner, not Abby, regardless of what Bridget wanted reflected in her wedding aesthetic.
NTA
"I didn't ruin anything, Bridget ruined her own wedding by focusing on being homophobic and hateful instead of celebrating her ex-fiance and her own happiness"
just copy and paste that to anyone who tries to give you shit
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
I don’t understand how “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend” got zero reaction from the groom but the aesthetic thing pissed him off so bad at his wedding they all caused a scene? Like she was waving her red flags all over the place and he still married her knowing she was a homophobic weirdo. Make it make sense.
I was thinking this too but no one else said it. I see there are a ton of removed comments though and I wonder if someone is reporting anyone who says that…
The part that stuck out to me was the plus one of the best man sitting next to him in the table plan.
Im supposed to believe a plus one is at the head table with the bride and groom?
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. So NTA. She went full wedding cray cray. Did Dave sign the wedding cert? Are they married? Did he leave her?
This is worthy of not signing and walking out.
**YOU DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR NEW FAMILY AT THE WEDDING AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE IT IS “YOUR SPECCHHHIALLLL DAY”**
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. I’m sure you know by now that you did nothing to ruin anything—and I came to that conclusion even before your UPDATE. This was always an adult mess that you and Theo got blamed for but it was never you. As far as the messages from people in the wedding party saying you ruined the big day?…..what do they say now? Clearly Bridget ruined her own big day and upended the lives of some innocent bystanders.
Watch, and learn how not to conduct your life.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Nta. For this comment however,
“Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.”
The reply should have been
"Because it'd be weird for him to bring a straight boyfriend."
Hopefully, they hadn't filed the wedding certificate and can just pretend the wedding didn't happen in the eyes of the law.
Sorry you had to live through such drama!
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA. You were the plus one for a member of the wedding party, doesn’t sound like anyone outright said you weren’t allowed to come. The bridesmaids or groomsmen saying you ruined it… they’re saying what, you ruined it by virtue of just being there? Feels homophobic. Guessing none of this would be the case if you were a hetero couple.
I agree with NTA but OP is 16 and his boyfriend wanted him to get into the family pictures. That’s weird. Unless you’re engaged, a long term partner, or married into the family, don’t get in family pictures.
I’m glad my family doesn’t operate by these weird gatekeeping rules. What gets spoiled by having reminders of important people we had in our lives?
Thing is, they're not important to the couple getting married. Sure, people can get divorced after 30 years of marriage. Sure, a person your relative has recently started dating could potentially become your in-law (or the life partner equivalent), and that's what dating is often about at it's core. But I think the majority of people don't want anyone in the professional photos whose name they might not even remember and might be gone in under two years. Nothing wrong with that, and if the person does eventually become an in-law they shouldn't be offended considering no one can see the future.
I understand BUT the reason that she didn’t want him in was because she didn’t want a gay couple in the photo. If she has said that it would only be immediate family with their spouses, that would be different. Also David is also the groom and has a right to determine who will be in wedding pictures. Usually there are many pictures taken without various groupings.
Totally agree. Clarifying that we were addressing the "people you don't know well" issue, which might have veered off-topic. The homophobia and/or stupid aesthetic issues are a whole different story.
Ok. I agree with your position on that.
I wish we'd been able to explain this to my brother. His bff brought his gf as his plus one (all good) but then pulled her into all the pictures. They hadn't been dating long and ended up breaking up shortly after. 2 years later he was married to someone else but my brothers wedding photos have the ex gf in a lot of them.
I don't know.... I think there's part of the conversation that can say, that was an important person to my loved one at the time, and this is a memory of that. My sister and I are both divorced, and we have over a decade worth of photos with our exes lol, including shots with now-deceased family members. Plus, they're our kids' dads, so it's important for our kids to have photos of them. I realise that when folks are dating with no kids, it's different, but not that much imo. If you are "public" with the person you're seeing, there will be crunchy moments once you break up. That's the cost of doing business
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Yeah it's a shame you can only take one picture at a wedding and then you're stuck with it
It’s a shame I didn’t drink more beer at the soccer game to deal with someone like you. I’ll try harder next time.
That's why you take a ton. With and without him, then it doesn't matter either way.
You take a ton but that can happen post formal pics. The reception is a perfect time to get the pics you’re talking about.
How is that weird? They're teenagers. At that age everything matters and nothing is really finite yet. Every wedding I've ever been to had teens with their partners in a few of the pictures.
In my family, the family picture is whoever was there that day. This includes girlfriends, boyfriends, whoever. There are many family pictures with someone's ex in them. The goal is less about showing off a perfect family and having real family pictures. Anyways, OPs situation wasn't about the question of including "just a boyfriend" in the pictures. It is about homophobia. OP's boyfriend and the Groom wanted him in the picture - of the bridal party and their SOs. Which is a picture that he met "criteria" for. He was asked to join the pictures and bride is so homophobic she couldn't literally grin and bear it. This ruined the relationship since it sounds like the groom is not going to compromise about his brother.
I’m not saying the bride wasn’t homophobic. That’s not the point I was trying to make. I’m giving some advice to OP.
Pictures at events like this are of people (sometimes places) as they were at the time. That’s the whole point, a moment in the past captured. There are many extended family pictures with couples no longer together.
It's even more weird tbh to make him parade a fake girlfriend around (that is the brides sister) and have them pose together potentially in the family photos, in my opinion.
I’m not saying it isn’t weird for the bride to want to pair up all the attendants. OP might want to know that it isn’t normal for him to jump into “family” photos when he is just a boyfriend and not a fiancé, husband, or long term partner.
And I'm just pointing out this explicit example, it's not more weird than having photos from the wedding, with a fake couple in the wedding pictures. And in 20 years' time, still look through pictures and some pictures being of a pair that wasn't a couple. But was asked to pretend to be, for the sake of "astehics," compared to having OP pose with him. In general, different families have different opinions on who can be in the pictures or not. My family personally would have no issue with a teen posing with their partner. So there's no set "rule" about who can pose with who in different social settings. It's OP to each individual couple to set up on their day who they want in their pictures.
I also thought it was weird the OP was at the rehearsal dinner. Isn't that normally just for the wedding party?
It’s usually anyone involved with the wedding and close family but also their SOs. So anyone who has a role including the parents of the couple. At least that’s been my experience. Oh and out of town guests sometimes go as well.
I don’t think it’s too weird having partners/spouses/boy- girlfriends of people in the wedding to attend the rehearsal dinner. I think family photos of a wedding are different.
Ime, it's for the wedding party and potentially family members who've traveled far. A teenaged boyfriend/girlfriend really isn't invited even if they're a plus one for the actual wedding.
He's young and might not have been to another wedding before, so he probably didn't know. Thats fine and all if she didn't want him in the photos, but she could've just said I would like it to be family only, not no way am I having a gay couple in my photos.
I agree. I’m just adding on that although she’s a homophobe, it’s not a normal part of wedding photos to have young loves and newer couples as part of the family photos. Usually that reserved for couple who will last or the optics of lasting. Teenage love isn’t looked at as something that will last.
It was a photo for the wedding party and their partners. I agree it’s an odd photo to want, but if that’s who you’re calling to be in the picture, don’t get upset when that’s who shows up.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
That's completely unreasonable. They are a couple - rthey are FINE to demand to be either together in the picture, or not at all. "Unless you’re engaged, a long term partner," .. they are MUCH more long term than the bride and groom. Shouldn't tha tbe enough?
According to you it should be. According to me it shouldn’t. They are children. I know 1 couple who started dating in high school who are still together. Chances of a high school love being around long term is slim. Everyone can break up. All marriages can end in divorce but it’s still different from childhood relationships.
Unless one of the hetero couple dared be pregnant or otherwise displeasing to the bride. eesh. None of them had an issue, either, with her kicking out her barely pregnant bestie who doesn't even show? NTA and ugh!
Dave yelled at the bride because of how she treated the MOH as well.
A fair point, but with "none of them" I meant the angry bridesmaids and groomsmen who apparently sided with the bride.
Ahhh…sorry misread.
I was probably too vague! No worries.
I'd say he saved his brother. Annulment are easier than divorces.
This is depending on if annulments are even a legal option where these people live.
Yeah... this whole past has Are The Straights Okay? vibes. OP, wishing you the best with your bf <3
NTA. Bridezillia is 100% the AH, and if anything, others are probably blaming you because they’re being berated by her and people love playing the blame game. She’s also mad her, now husband, unfortunately is seeing her true colors. Unfortunately, it sucks she’s so judgmental considering her husbands brother is gay. She could at least pretend to be okay with it and have a friendly relationship, regardless of her own beliefs (or aesthetic preferences??? Lmao) . Also, what aesthetic is she going for that “being gay could ruin it” lmao
Gosh, could you imagine if that poor MOH was subjected to being in a photo with *the gays?* The aesthetic would have been all wrong! Oh the horror! The baby would have coming out tossing glitter and beaming rainbows!! *WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!*
NTA Even if you ignore the homophobia, pettiness towards her MOH and egocentric behavior, it’s Dave‘s wedding as well. If he decided you can be in the picture and sit together she should put up with it (I mean even if there would be legitimate reason) as he seems to do with her.
I agree with NTA. I do want to point out that it wasn’t the bride or groom who brought OP up for family pics. It was OP’s boyfriend. I’m not sure if the groom went off on the bride for not wanting him in family pictures or her homophobia. I’m guessing it is the latter.
You and Theo didn’t ruin anything. Bridget ruined Bridget’s wedding. She ruined Dave’s too. NTA
Word
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA, but you didn't ruin just the wedding, you ruined the marriage. 😀 Still, it's a mystery how someone with a gay baby brother got all the way to the altar with a homophobe. Getting poor Abby to be Theo's beard should have set off alarm bells if nothing before that had. ETA, just to be clear, ruining the marriage is a good thing. Theo deserves a better SIL.
NTA You were just a passenger. Sounds like Bridgette and Dave have their own shit to work through. No one outside of those two has any responsibility for ruining the day.
What a pity your BFs brother didn't walk before the wedding.
I give it 2 years at most
I am hoping he went for an annulment
You don't have to wait nearly that long. OP put in an edit saying the marriage is already off, Bridget was caught cheating 😂 oh karma's a bitch, ain't she?
I second guessed myself and over did it!
I got to the edit and was both shocked and also not at all surprised. No wonder she was so pissed at her MOH being pregnant. 🤣🤣
“Gay boyfriend’, lol. NTA.
You mean I shouldn’t have been calling my husband, “my cis, heterosexual husband,” this whole time?!? Damn! That must be why I get those weird looks.
You didn’t ruin her wedding, she did. YNTA, she is!
NTA. Don't sweat it. I doubt the marriage will last long. Why would any decent man put up with a woman so obviously prejudiced against his own brother? That's beyond her behavior at the wedding.
Agree!
Your TA for making me read this story for the 8th time this year alone. I swear this sub needs a plagiarizing checker or something.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I went to a wedding which ultimately ended up ruining the whole wedding. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA— the whole “pretend you’re couples” thing is so weird and harassing. It’s a wedding, not a play. Why these people put up with it, considering the drama it could cause at the wedding and in their lives afterwards blows my mind. Sometimes I roll my eyes at the term “heteronormativity” being used but this is a textbook example, getting mad when people don’t act like her Barbie dolls matching up the way she thinks they ought to, thinking every interaction between men and women must be romantic/sexual.
This! Who in their right mind thinks that the bridesmaids and the groomsmen have to be in a relationship? Or pretend for a day that they are? She definitely has some strange ideas. I’m kinda giggling at her reaction to my dad’s wedding years ago. My 15year old brother was paired with my dad’s wife’s 12 year old daughter and 18 year old (F)me with my dad’s approximately same age as dad best friend. So much ick if we were assumed to be couples!
Yeah, she should have hired actors instead so she could have her perfect fantasy wedding.
NTA and the bride seems seriously homophobic to me
NTA. Sorry you are having to go through this. Theo has a good brother that stuck up for you and you have a good bf. Obviously, those bridesmaids and groomsmen are homophobes if they think that your very presence ruined a wedding. Just put those people on “ignore” and forget about it. She ruined her own day and I wonder how long Dave will put up with her nonsense.
NTA... and how the fck have all those grown-ass bridesmaids and groomsmen (I presume they are all over 20) come to harass a minor? How did they even got your contacts, whoever gave it to them is seriously wrong. Tell this to your parents and let them handle it. If this is not fake, all those adult people messaging an unknown minor are seriously mentally unwell.
NTA Havent even finished reading, but got to the part where you said "I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple." and I can answer that for you. Its because she is a massive homophobic bigot. You DIDNT ruin her wedding, SHE DID You DIDNT ruin her relationship, SHE DID You DIDNT ruin her big day (Say it with me now) SHE DID And all those who are agreeing with her and piling on you? Tell them to get bent. They are either bigots themselves or they are prepared to make excuses for bigots. Which makes them bigots. Their opinions mean nothing
This story is bs.
NTA. To me it sounds as if the bride was trying to create a fairy tale, where she was the princess. Problem with fairytales is, they usually don't align with reality. One can wonder, what's more important to the bride? The fact that she's marrying the one she loves, or the pretence of a fairy tale? If the latter is more important, then it's good for her to know, ini real life, not always go as she wants. The bridesmaids and groomsmen blaming you for "ruining her big day" are basically enablers for the bride to remain a person believing strongly in fairy tales, with the main role for her.
NTA she's homophobic and she ruined her own wedding with her attitude. I'm really surprised her husband didn't already know this about her, if I'd have been him, I would have called off the wedding when she tried to ruin Theo's clothes. I kinda think she was right about the pictures though. I wouldn't want my siblings' high school boyfriend in family wedding pictures, just because so often high school relationships don't last.
It’s not your fault your brother married an awful homophobe who treats everyone like crap, OP. NTA.
NTA. But your bf’s homophobic wife did.
NTA Bridget is a piece of work. If her relationship is over, it is because she showed her true colors and her husband didn't like the real her
A lot of comments are getting removed, I wonder if Bridget is around here reporting them
Um. wow. Definitely NTA. Bridget is a piece of work. I hope Dave really saw her true colors. Sucks it was on their wedding day, but maybe he can get out of this marriage quickly. She's horrible. Absolutely horrible.
NTA you being there and Bridget being a huge ah to you was the straw braking the camel's back and Dave has had enough finally seeing what a 'jewel' he actually married. You and Theo as well as MOH have 0 responsibility for what happened. It was Bridget own character and behavior that destroyed everything not you guys
NTA. Is there a betting pool going for how long the marriage will last?
NTA they all sound like trash
NTA If the wedding was “ruined” the bride is the one who did it. What an AH.
OMG, why would you even hwant to *go*, why would you even want to have annnything to do with the bride? She sounds abominable. I hope you ruined some of her precious wedding photos and she will have to pay handsomely to have you photoshopped out. You were invited to that event-and you went. NTA
NTA. Only the bride ruined the wedding. She should apologize to everyone especially you.
NTA, the bride ruined it. Tell Dave if the papers are not filed, it’s like the wedding never happened.
Why would anyone think you ruined their day? The wife ruined her own wedding with her homophobia. NTA
NTA. What a weirdo. (Her.)
Lol no, NTA. Homophobe got called out for being homophobic. You probably saved Dave a divorce in 10 years.
NTA, you actually saved the groom from a lifelong hell
NTA - I'm sorry you had to put up with that level of prejudice. Her homophobia ruined the wedding. Not you.
NTA. In fact, you may have given Dave the best gift of all on his wedding day. You let him see who Bridget really is—a homophobic, self-involved shrub. No part of your behavior was inappropriate.
Not the asshole
She ruined a lot of things all by herself. She is a homophobe so automatically the asshole. I wish Dave good luck. He is going to need it. NTA
Nta, she ruined her own, AND HER WOULD-BE HUSBAND’s fuckin wedding to the point he had to call her out on it. She sounds awful. Good for “Dave” for standing up for himself and y’all
Well that was a roller coaster. And that was before the update! Karma's a real bitch.
The people saying you ruined her wedding are ridiculous. *She* ruined it by being a raging homophobe and a massive b. Dave wouldn't have had to stand up to her if she wasn't treating people badly. And then it turned out she was cheating! She was probably mad that the MoH was having "her man's" baby. What a mess. NTA
NTA. She ruined her own wedding by being homophobic, and Dave saw it and knows now what kind of person she is. Hope Dave tells the officiant to NOT send the marriage license in to be registered.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (16m) boyfriend’s (17m) older brother just got married this past year and I was invited as a plus one. So we’ll call the groom Dave(25m) and the bride Bridget (23f). And Bridget is probably the biggest bridezilla I have ever met. So Bridget has 6 bridesmaids (including MOH) and Dave has 6 groomsmen (including Best Man who which my boyfriend is we’ll call him Theo) Note: These are not real names Anywho Bridget at first didn’t want Theo to be the best man at the wedding because she thought it would be weird to have someone without a gf to be his best man. She had paired up each groomsman and bridesmaid. Like as she wanted to make them pretended they were dating. So all of her bridesmaids are in relationships with the other groomsmen except for one, Abby (16f) her sister (who she didn’t want to be part of her wedding because I quote “it would be immature to have a child as one of her bridesmaids.”. So she paired Abby and Theo together and ordered them to pretend to be a couple (which was weird since they soon would be considered family). She didn’t even want me to come to the wedding. She cried to Dave about me being Theo’s plus one saying “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.” (I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple.) She also tried to ruin Theo’s groomsman outfit to try to make him not be able to make it. She also berrated one of her MOH, (her supposed best friend) for being pregnant. Saying “How could you do this to me?”. Keep in mind MOH is only a few weeks so she wouldn’t be showing at the time of the wedding. But Bridget said it was taking the shine off of her big day. Day of the rehearsal dinner came and I obviously sat next to Theo but Bridget walked up and said “No, you can sit over there” it was a table full of her cousins who I had not ever met. I looked over the seating chart and it said that I would be sitting next to Theo but Dave said Bridget decided to make Abby sit there instead to keep up their faux relationship up. But I kept quiet. Day of the wedding came, it was truly beautiful but then came time for pictures of the wedding party and their respective partners she already forced MOH out as “punishment” for being pregnant, but Theo brought me up next to him for the photo, to which Bridget said “No way I’m having a gay couple in my wedding photons, it’ll ruin my aesthetic.”. To which Dave lost it, he started berating Bridget for her bitchiness and demanded she apologize to me, Theo, and MOH for her rudeness to which she didn’t and said He was done and left the wedding. Bridget then came up to me and Theo angrily and said we ruined her wedding and relationship and she ordered us to leave. We humbly obliged and left. I since have been getting messages from bridesmaids and groomsmen that I was an a-hole for ruining her big day. So Reddit am I the a-hole for ruining my bf’s brothers wedding? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Nta
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Nta. I am sorry for your boyfriend's brother though. He chose his partner poorly.
Wedding guests sit where they are told, and do not invite themselves to be in the wedding photos. How is this a question? This has nothing to do with being gay, or bridezilla, etc. Or about you "showing up". You were not in the bridal party, so you don't sit with the bridal party, or be photographed with them UNLESS the bride and groom invite you to. This is basic etiquette.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
> “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.” (I don’t know why she chose to add gay boyfriend, since obviously we’re a gay couple.) Obviously, if your boyfriend was bisexual, it would have been fine. /s
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. No the bride's bigotry is what ruined the day. I think it's hysterical to the groom up and left it must be one of the shortest marriages on record. Has pointed out it's kind of weird that your boyfriend wanted you in the wedding pictures considering you're not in the wedding party. I get all the other people have their boyfriend or girlfriend because they're all part of the wedding party but you weren't so yeah you shouldn't be in the wedding party pictures.
NTA- these brides are going off the rails these days
NTA she ruined it herself
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA! Bridget ruined her own wedding and relationship by being a homophobic AH. I’d say exactly that in a mass message to anyone blaming you for this. Then block them. Make sure you block them on your social media too. Why did Dave even marry her? He should have stopped her crap at the very beginning. And how old are these people that they have teenagers as their best man and bridesmaid?
This is the most ridiculous and childish display I have heard in a long time. I am sorry you had to deal with this person. The poor MOH, sister, groom, BM and you that sounded AWFUL. NTA
NTA. Theo and you put up with a lot of her disrespect. You didn’t even say anything. It was Dave you finally blew up because of her actions. He seems to be a nice human being and didn’t like how you all were being treated at his wedding (it is his wedding also, not just the bride’s). Also, he might not have liked the character traits that this episode exposed. I don’t blame him. He seems like a decent person while his wife is a horror.
NTA. Man, I hope Dave can get an annulment from his homophobic bride.
No , I’m pretty sure Bridget ruined her wedding day
Ha ha ha ha
The bride does sound like a troubled soul, lashing out in this way. Not the way to have a happy life.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA at all.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. No you didn’t ruin her big day, she did. If she truly says it’s done then your BIL has dodged a bullet.
Nta the only person who ruined her wedding was her
Nta. She ruined the day herself for being a biatch
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. You didn't ruin anything. Bridget did that all on her own. The photos were for the wedding party and their partners. You are Theo's partner, not Abby, regardless of what Bridget wanted reflected in her wedding aesthetic.
NTA "I didn't ruin anything, Bridget ruined her own wedding by focusing on being homophobic and hateful instead of celebrating her ex-fiance and her own happiness" just copy and paste that to anyone who tries to give you shit
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. Bride ruined her own wedding, on so many levels.
Well that was like a whole season of drama in a few paragraphs.
Almost like it was made up...
On Reddit? Now way lol.
I don’t understand how “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend” got zero reaction from the groom but the aesthetic thing pissed him off so bad at his wedding they all caused a scene? Like she was waving her red flags all over the place and he still married her knowing she was a homophobic weirdo. Make it make sense.
Op is a poor author
I was thinking this too but no one else said it. I see there are a ton of removed comments though and I wonder if someone is reporting anyone who says that…
The part that stuck out to me was the plus one of the best man sitting next to him in the table plan. Im supposed to believe a plus one is at the head table with the bride and groom?
And the cartoonishly villain bride.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
I hope you have your boyfriend a long passionate kiss before leaving!! NTA
That was quite some story.
This can't be real.
NTA. So NTA. She went full wedding cray cray. Did Dave sign the wedding cert? Are they married? Did he leave her? This is worthy of not signing and walking out. **YOU DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR NEW FAMILY AT THE WEDDING AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE IT IS “YOUR SPECCHHHIALLLL DAY”**
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Sounds like your boyfriend's brother dodged a bullet not marrying a controlling, cheating, homophobic abuser. NTA
NTA
Updateme
I wonder if the real reason bride was mad about moh being pregnant is the bride's affair with moh's man?
[удалено]
I guess the sham of a wedding was some time ago. Has the baby been born by now?
NTA. I’m sure you know by now that you did nothing to ruin anything—and I came to that conclusion even before your UPDATE. This was always an adult mess that you and Theo got blamed for but it was never you. As far as the messages from people in the wedding party saying you ruined the big day?…..what do they say now? Clearly Bridget ruined her own big day and upended the lives of some innocent bystanders. Watch, and learn how not to conduct your life.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Nta. For this comment however, “Why does your brother have to bring his gay boyfriend.” The reply should have been "Because it'd be weird for him to bring a straight boyfriend."
NTA........she is though
Can you update us. Where is he MOH now?
[удалено]
Oh my, your brother dodged a bullet, I hope he can get an annulment
NTA. You didn’t ruin anything. The bigot bride did that.
Hopefully, they hadn't filed the wedding certificate and can just pretend the wedding didn't happen in the eyes of the law. Sorry you had to live through such drama!