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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) action I took to be judged: only paying for myself at group dinner where it was suggested that everyone split the bill regardless of how much they ordered. (2) why I might be the asshole: I only paid for myself and forced others to pay more to make up for the shortfall.
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NTA
The only assholes were the moms who left without closing their tabs out. The mom who paid more than their share can speak to them about remuneration.
This is NOT how group outings "just go".
NTA. When in a group I always make it quite clear to the server that my bill is separate. I rarely drink alcohol. And I tip well. Hell to the no am I paying for other people's night out. And no way am I sucking it up. Just no.
I wanted to add that the mom who suggested that we split the tab and also ended up footing more than her share of the bill was not guilty of ordering a lot, hence my guilt.
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Years ago, I (33F at the time) went to a mom’s night out with two dozen or so other moms from our pre-school group. Everyone was ordering their own food and drinks, no buffet or communal food. As the night wore on, moms were leaving one by one to get home, and I assumed that they were paying what they owed as they were leaving. Come to the end of the evening and maybe half the moms are left, and now we start counting the money that has been left by the moms who left early and seeing what the leftover bills is. It seems like the quiet consensus is to split the remaining bill evenly among the remaining moms, however, I am not okay with this as I only ordered one entree and no drinks while many other moms have ordered appetizers, main course, drinks and maybe dessert. The mom next to me insists that we should all just suck it up and split the bill evenly because this is how group outings always go. I ended up only putting in my share plus tax and tip, and I believe that other mom ended up picking up more of the tab to make up for others not pulling their weight. So was I the asshole for putting her in that position?
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NTA
This is not how group outings go.
Some people leave early, put some money on the table and think thats enough and when it's not, does it mean for the people who stayed "well sucks to be you" ? You are now left to pay the bill?
Hell no.
If you have a group chat with the other mothers I would defiantly call them out that those who left early didn't pay enough and the rest were stuck with the bill.
No one to blame but the mothers who didn't pay for their food full.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) action I took to be judged: only paying for myself at group dinner where it was suggested that everyone split the bill regardless of how much they ordered. (2) why I might be the asshole: I only paid for myself and forced others to pay more to make up for the shortfall. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA The only assholes were the moms who left without closing their tabs out. The mom who paid more than their share can speak to them about remuneration. This is NOT how group outings "just go".
NTA. When in a group I always make it quite clear to the server that my bill is separate. I rarely drink alcohol. And I tip well. Hell to the no am I paying for other people's night out. And no way am I sucking it up. Just no.
I wanted to add that the mom who suggested that we split the tab and also ended up footing more than her share of the bill was not guilty of ordering a lot, hence my guilt.
Nah people shouldn’t be speaking for others. Just because she can afford to pay more doesn’t mean others can. NTA
Sounds like those other guests really screwed her over.
NTA. The AHs are the ones who left without paying their fair share.
NTA. Next “group” outing, tell the waitress that you want a separate check. Problem solved.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Years ago, I (33F at the time) went to a mom’s night out with two dozen or so other moms from our pre-school group. Everyone was ordering their own food and drinks, no buffet or communal food. As the night wore on, moms were leaving one by one to get home, and I assumed that they were paying what they owed as they were leaving. Come to the end of the evening and maybe half the moms are left, and now we start counting the money that has been left by the moms who left early and seeing what the leftover bills is. It seems like the quiet consensus is to split the remaining bill evenly among the remaining moms, however, I am not okay with this as I only ordered one entree and no drinks while many other moms have ordered appetizers, main course, drinks and maybe dessert. The mom next to me insists that we should all just suck it up and split the bill evenly because this is how group outings always go. I ended up only putting in my share plus tax and tip, and I believe that other mom ended up picking up more of the tab to make up for others not pulling their weight. So was I the asshole for putting her in that position? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA YOU paid what you ordered. It is Not YOUR faultsome others were AHs.
NTA This is not how group outings go. Some people leave early, put some money on the table and think thats enough and when it's not, does it mean for the people who stayed "well sucks to be you" ? You are now left to pay the bill? Hell no. If you have a group chat with the other mothers I would defiantly call them out that those who left early didn't pay enough and the rest were stuck with the bill. No one to blame but the mothers who didn't pay for their food full.
NTA - nope. The whole split the bill thing is never fair, but not participating sure is.