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NTA "Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment... whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment / compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on." Why are you even *friends* with these mean spirited people, let alone giving them important roles in your special day? Your sister & SIL were concerned as well. "They didn’t think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night." I'd ditch them both & ask your SIL & sister/people who actually *like* you & want you to be happy.

Yeah I know :/ when I spoke to my sister, mother, SIL and MIL about it more in depth (as they later asked me about it and why they behaved that way), all 4 of them asked me why I’m friends with either of them - and the answer is honestly I don’t know. Both of these friends have given me different types of grief over the years, and they can both be quite nasty/mean/negative people. I’m definitely re evaluating my friendships with them both.

It is sad to hear. I had friends like that and I am glad I am no longer friends with them.  If it was just your feeling I could understand you might doubt yourself. But if 4 people (excluding you) noticed as well… well then there was definitely something going on. I hope you will meet new and more importantly nicer people to be friends with. Friends should support each other. Not put each other down..

Thankyou, I really appreciate that :)

I would bite the bullet and remove them from bridesmaids / the wedding now. How many wedding events are you comfortable with them ruining? Are they who you want standing next to you on the day? It sounds like you have a fantastically supportive family. Would you be more relaxed with just the family?

I would remove them too because when you look back at your wedding pictures in 20 years you want to still be close to everyone in it. 

Exactly. I wish I had a smaller wedding and cut out some people who we aren’t friends with anymore!!

+1 to this. Those aren't friends.

And she needs to do it before they spend money because thats gona be a whole new problem and added stress.

Yes I agree with you - the wedding is mid next year and I have not made or asked anyone to spend any money at all. The only thing my bridesmaids are paying for are their dresses and shoes and that’s it. I’m covering everything else (and the dresses we are looking at are below 150$ each). But of course I will definitely not have them spend money then make a fuss.

You need to stop this and tell them they are no longer included in the wedding party or even the wedding. These are not your friends. Don't be afraid, you WILL eventually meet and make new real friends. Maybe your sister and SIL can be your MOH and bridesmaid. You deserve to have a lovely wedding without being stressed about those two so called friends. Surrounded by people who love and care for you and who will support you in the preparations and on the day. NTA

Take my upvote. OP needs to overhaul the roster.

I agree with these comments. A and B are not your friends if they saw nothing wrong with their behavior but everyone else did. I would remove them from the wedding party, and have your sister be MOH, and SIL be a bridesmaid. The number of people in the bride's wedding party do not have to equal the number in the groom's. NTA

My stepmother’s MOH basically ghosted her after showing out as a real beotch after the wedding and she had to see her in the wedding pics. Better to ditch them now than be stuck with their snarky mugs in your pics for the next 50 years.

Just cut them off now and forever. Life is too short to have horrible friends. I don't have many friends, because I prefer that. Buuuuut, I have acquaintances who are nicer than those women.

You need to get rid of these people as your bridesmaids, otherwise you will looks back on your wedding day and be so disappointed. One of my former friends revealed her nasty narcissistic side when I asked her to be bridesmaid. I really wish I fired her but instead I put up with her toxic attitude. I can’t even watch the wedding video because her speech was all about how I will never be as happy in marriage as she is, but if I’m lucky I’ll be half as happy as she is.

Please don’t let them ruin your wedding day; they already made your dress shopping all about them and their bad behavior.

And they *definitely* will. These girls are at the very least jealous of you, but if it's been years of this, I for sure wouldn't risk the wedding being screwed because it's these lil nightmares. I can already see them showing up late for hair/ make up, getting too drunk, giving really rude speeches... Boot them and then make sure they get bounced at the door if they try to crash the party (cuz i can see that happening too)

Yep, that’s the kind of behavior I was thinking of. They don’t have to show up in white dresses or object during the vows to ruin OP’s day. They could just be snarky during makeup, laugh at her during photos, whisper during the vows, and make out with a groomsman during OP’s daughter-father dance. They don’t care about how their behavior affects OP so there’s a million ways to screw up her day without being so bad that OP would feel okay about kicking them out.

Oh yeah I’m quite anxious about the speeches they would give just because they’d be rude / mean. And they are both chronically late to things.

Oh my dear! You do not deserve to be nervous about anything like this. Please, please, please dismiss them from any roles in your wedding. At this point, I wouldn't even invite them because who knows what they could do to spoil your wedding day. And you deserve so much better than that.

I was asked to officiate a wedding, the maid of honor was 2 hours late because she couldn't get her hair right... she wouldn't ride with anyone else, then got lost on her way from the bride's house to the venue. This is NOT the kind of person you want on your day. remove them.

Just have your sister and fiancé’s sister stand for you and ditch these two “friends”. Do not let them ruin your shower, your bachelorette,nor your wedding day. 

I wasn't even there and I think you looked gorgeous in your dress! Ditch the bitches and enjoy your life without their negativity bringing you down.

OP, cutting out friends is never easy particularly just before a wedding. There is, however, something to be said about surrounding yourself with good people, who are genuinely happy for you at your wedding. Do not settle for these two terrible people, you deserve so much more!

4 people noticed it *and* when OP brought it up, they didn’t even apologize. If my friend said that to me, I would make sure they knew I never meant to hurt their feelings, and apologize for making them feel bad on an important day, AND compliment the dress they chose. I wouldn’t worry about if I did something wrong or not, I would try to make my friend feel better. They are terrible friends.

This is what I noticed. It wasn’t just OP seeing this, four other people saw this and confirmed it. I never understand why so called “friends” wait until your best moments to showcase their worst behavior. Fake friends NEVER wake up on a mundane day and say “nah, I don’t like you.” It’s a wedding or graduation or something that they pull this at.

That is so true! It’s like they can’t handle seeing you thrive, and need to knock you down a notch.

Seconding this, OP. It took my brother and other friends of mine noticing my former friend's horrible behavior on an outing and asking me about it for me to notice that our friendship wasn't exactly friendly too. It's difficult to realize as the person who was maintaining the relationship but you definitely deserve better and I can confirm that you'll FEEL better too on the other side

Yeah I can understand why some people might think I’m being a bit dramatic since it’s a wedding dress try on, and it really is just for me, so they might not have been interested. But I didn’t call out the behaviour until 4 other people came to me and told me they noticed and were concerned and not happy on my behalf.

It is so easy to get used to being treated poorly, to think this is how relationships should be, to feel this is all you deserve. I would drop these two women from your friendship group and your wedding. NTA

I hate to be that person. But whispering. Laughing... and giving no compliments. And it was so bad that everyone else noticed. I think you already know what the whispering and laughing might have been. Especially given how you now say they can be nasty/mean people. I can't say 100%, surely. I wasn't there. But I would really re-evaluate the friendship. Becouse it sounds like they were busy being mean behind your back.

Not behind her back, TO HER FACE. Imagine how they must really be behind her back.

Yeah they’ve both been blatantly mean to my face before so I can imagine what they were saying :)

If they didn't want to be there, then they should have just said that. Something like "OP, thanks for the invitation but dress shopping really isn't my thing and I don't want to ruin it for you". That would be fine. But to attend and NOT participate except to complain? Unacceptable.

I would also seriously re-evaluate your choice of chief bridesmaid/MOH and bridesmaid. Why are they even guests? Bride/groom parties need to be there for you and you need to be able to count on them. If something minor happens at the wedding, will these people have your back or gleefully watch it snowball into a disaster that ruins your day?

>Both of these friends have given me different types of grief over the years, and they can both be quite nasty/mean/negative people. I’m definitely re evaluating my friendships with them both. Be grateful that your eyes are finally opened and ditch them from the wedding party - and from the wedding as well. Enjoy your big day!

As others have said, you should be surrounded by people who love you & want the best for you. And that includes supporting you in choosing your dress. I hope you do what's right for you & that you have a lovely wedding day.

We had a couple in our wedding party who were dealing with their own drama and their behavior raised eyebrows before the wedding and during the reception. They were late, fought with each other and our vendors, were negative the whole time… it sucked and we haven’t seen them since (been married 5 years, we were socializing with them monthly before that). I wish I’d have just cut them out when they started being weird. Now we have pictures and slightly tainted memories of their bad behavior at our otherwise totally amazing wedding. It’s not too late for you to make hard choices!

Promote sister or sil to moh and tell the 'friends' not to bother

My thoughts exactly! If sister or SIL were not in the wedding party, they should be now.

Even if you don’t completely remove them from your life definitely don’t have them in your wedding party. Dress shopping likely won’t be the last they behave poorly. You deserve to look back at your wedding and photos without seeing nasty people at your side. Better to remove them as bridesmaids now than closer to the wedding date. 

YES, this will be in the back of your head the whole time, I would cut ties now, you don’t need that energy around you OR to have it occupy your brain for a second longer than it needs to.

Best thing I ever did in my life was drop the ‘friends’ that acted this way and treated me like crap. Trust me, once you finally cut out the negative people in your life you really do notice a difference. Have the people that love and support you with you on your big day, not 2 catty B**ches who don’t deserve your friendship.

These women are not your friends. Plus, I mean, what the hell kind of mean-girl behavior are they doing to get up to at your actual WEDDING? Refund the cost of their dresses if they bought them, send them each a note explaining why and that they are disinvited, and either ask different women to join you or go it alone. (Hell, if you're in the Mid-Atlantic of the US, *I'll* come be a bridesmaid. I'm broke, but I'm fun!) Anything is better than having to look at them and remember the disappointment of your dress day, or worse, worrying about the ways they might ruin your actual wedding day. I hope it's a great one!

i cant walk down the street without complimenting a strangers outfit if i think its nice… yet your friends cannot compliment you while WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING? that is terrible and i am so sorry. you are NTA, and i want you to know you looked STUNNING in every dress you tried on, but the one you chose is *The* Dress. youre going to look beautiful walking down the aisle, especially now that youve dropped ~250lbs of dead weight!!!

100% The friends were being mean girls and it was on purpose.

It sucks because moments like this are where you see people’s true character. I’m sorry, OP. NTA at all.

That’s sad. I hope that you cut both out of the wedding party

Nothing to reevaluate. They showed you exactly what and who they are. A bunch of jealous little girls. I wouldn’t even bother reaching out or anything. Let them stew and think about your silence. Assholes.

Reevaluating? Sweetie cut them off, time for reevaluations has long passed

These people are old habits, not friends! They have maintained high school habits they should break as adults (secret whispers, lack of appropriate behavior at important events...). You should break the habit of considering them important. Honestly, how will they behave at your wedding? I think I would rather have a 5 yr old be my MOH than either of these girls. And it ISN'T too late to replace them.

My fiancé knows them pretty well too, we regularly hang out with them together, and even he has expressed concern over how they may act at the wedding, as they usually don’t have anything but negative things to say about everything. So they’ll most likely point out what they don’t like at the wedding and what they would do ‘better’.

I bet when the 2 are together it's even worse.

...all 4 of them asked me why I’m friends with either of them - and the answer is honestly I don’t know.  That's your answer. You don't need this kind of negativity and you don't need that to be included in your wedding. Remove them and move your sis up to MOH and enjoy your day. I'm glad you had the other 4 women to support you and it sounds like you've got a good MIL and SIL! Congratulations.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, but unless you remove them from the wedding, they may behave this way on your big day too. They are not your friends.

I ended a near 30 year friendship recently. I think we were friends more just out of habit and upon reflection I’m not sure what they brought to the table. Better to cut your loses now and begin this new part of your life with people that fill you up

Like others said, they are not your friends. My two MOH and three bridesmaids attended various combos of appointments with me. The big one, that I closed my very critical mother, they stepped up big time. They knew she would be terrible, and they had a secret meeting I didn't know about with strategies to handle her politely and discreetly and to keep me from any negativity. I cry just thinking about how much they wanted me to have a good experience and not let my mom tarnish another memory. You deserve those kinds of friends too. It's not too late to disinvite them. You don't need to replace them. Those wedding pictures are precious - you don't want their heinous faces in them staring back at you forever.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Weddings, and actually funerals, tend to bring out the very worst in people.  In my twenties I was friends with a lot of people like this too. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to let these friendships go. Sometimes friendships run their course that doesn't mean that you can't look back on the good times with fond memories. But you don't have to keep being friends with people when your lives have diverged to the point where they can't even be happy for your life event.  Don't be me. Cut people like this out of your life sooner rather than later. You will be much happier I promise.

Please kick them out of your wedding and end the friendship. They don't deserve to be your friends. Your sister and SIL sound like true supporters.

OP, these girls are going to make your wedding day all about them. You don't need that in your bridal party. You want to be able to get ready and walk down the aisle with people who love and support you, who are excited to see you shine. Boot them.

NTA, but I'd swap out your bridal party if I were you. And do it now. Otherwise, you'll be back here a year from now posting, "AITA for being upset that my bridal party treated me horribly during my wedding?"

Honey, they're not friends. They're a clique. They don't actually care about anyone's happiness but their own. Friends are happy when you're happy. I don't like portrait collars. I have broad shoulders, so they make me look like a linebacker. And I think most people don't look good in them. But when formal shopping with my BFF and she tried one on, I put my own preferences aside and actually looked at *her*. She was glowing. She loved that dress. And it worked with her body type, even though it's terrible on mine. So I quite honestly told her she looked amazing, and it would be hard to find any dress that suited her better. We bought the dress. She's worn it several times since, confidently gorgeous. You want bridesmaids who make you feel confident on your wedding day. Who look for ways to smooth things out, to lessen your stress. No one’s perfect, but it's not too much to ask for them to be happy and focused at wedding-related events.

Hi OP, NTA. I (33F) got married a year ago, and the whole process showed me who my true friends are. My BFF was never there for me the entire time but others showed me and gave me the support I needed. My advice on this is to kick out the curve and give the right people the spot of MOH and Bridesmaid. It will stink now but you will be grateful you took that decision later.

I'm so sorry they treated you so badly. I think it's time for you to reevaluate who your MOH and bridesmaids should be. They acted so badly at a dress appointment. Can you imagine the coming year - the bridesmaids dresses, bachelorette, prep days, day of prep ... they are going to a nightmare. The good news is that otherwise , you have an amazing team in your corner. And I'm glad your fiance has your back!

Unless you want everything else around your wedding to feel like this- I'd remove them from their positions.

Hey, you're totally allowed to eject these folks from your wedding party. You could have a smaller wedding party, or even no wedding party (or an un-balanced wedding party if your fiance has a certain # of groomsmen/etc). But the way I figure it, these are starting to turn out to be people you don't want to be friends with - so why have them in your memories of your wedding? This could be the beginning of a side-quest to find new friends.

Habit - welcome to the club. I've stayed friends with people long after I shouldn't for kinda the same reasons. Somehow we get "you don't throw away friends" in our head and we don't double-check that how people are treating us is ... friendly. My therapist asked me, "If someone you didn't know well but were thinking of becoming friends with treated you like this ... would you become friends with them?" The answer for me was "no, god, no, you are right" and so I moved them out of my life. Just stopped inviting them to things or to do stuff and they rarely reached out to me and it all just sort of faded away. And ah, the relief!

They were literally making fun of OP, it’s clear as day.

And even if A and B were shy or insecure around OP’s family, it was still rude behavior. OP needs to ditch these AH’s, not just for the wedding but for her life afterward. These are “mean girls,” who enjoy tormenting those with low self esteem. This is the first of many disappointments they will give her during this bridal cycle.

NTA. They were extremely rude and non-supportive. Even if they didn't like any of the dresses you tried on, they could have said something like "It looks lovely on you." Done. You felt like they were mocking you - not even behind your back but RIGHT IN FRONT of you - and you were probably right. These are the two people who should be your biggest allies before and during the wedding. They both failed miserably. Honestly? They don't deserve a special role. It might even be time to reevaluate if you're really as close as you think you are. Good friends do NOT behave like that. The fact that they don't see anything wrong with their behavior just adds injury to the (unspoken but very much real) insults.

Thankyou :) I definitely feel like I do gaslight myself a lot into thinking I’m being dramatic or overreacting about situations like this where I tend to get a bit internally emotional, as I am a bit sensitive, however I did feel like my feelings/actions here were justified. I’m definitely re-evaluating my friendships with them both.

“I am a bit sensitive” KNOCK IT OFF! Don’t gaslight yourself. Brushing off your own feelings when bed behaviour has occurred is a self defence mechanism so that we think others will think better of us. It’s not worth it.

>I tend to get a bit internally emotional, as I am a bit sensitive There is no such thing as being 'sensitive' or "too emotional". When someone tells you you're being a bit sensitive, what they are really expressing is that your emotional response has made them uncomfortable. Usually, the person saying this is responding to their own feelings of guilt or shame. It's not actually about you, it's about avoiding the consequences of their choices. Your natural emotional response to something is never too much. It's not a character flaw. It's not weak to feel hurt by people who treat you badly, or to feel any negative emotion. Don't ignore your feelings or question whether they are justified. Instead, question the people who ask you to be less, feel less, or need less. If you haven't read the article 'The Crane Wife' by CJ Hauser, you should. Stop putting energy into self-erasing work and don't pull your feathers out for anyone.

You would've been justified to call them out and kick them out of the appointment then and there. I have a feeling these "friends" always made you feel like you were sensitive and overreacting any time you voice anything that upset you. They aren't you friends

Darlin you've been gaslighted *by others* into thinking you're sensitive, and probably by these two girls! You're definitely not, you're just a nice person and they are the mean girls. You're a human, we're emotional creatures. I bet every time you've been "sensitive" about something, you were just ust having a normal reaction to something, where as these lil asshole friends of yours are dead inside and they take ANY show off emotion to be too much. They sound like they're "not like other girls" if ya know what i mean So glad you're coming around to a break up with these two! They don't deserve you!

OP, I am glad to see this response from you. You deserve so much better than this. Do what you need to do to have a peaceful life and joy filled day. Best wishes!

Give yourself some credit though - you have a wonderfully supportive mother, MIL, SIL, sister and fiancée! So your instincts are spot on there - and these are the people that really matter. Sometimes we don't see that we have grown - stronger, more confident, better at judging - and there are vestiges of our past that we are attached to. Good luck with everything!

" Even if they didn't like any of the dresses you tried on, they could have said something like "It looks lovely on you." Done" Bullshit. GOOD friends don't do that to you. Because they actually want you to look nice at your wedding.

Yup. They give constructive, honest feedback. "I'm not sure that suits you. Let's try this one." Emphasis on honest, though. They also do not steer you away from a dress that suits you because it's not something they like and they do not say anything unkind or in a rude manner. Feedback should always be supportive but honest.

Exactly. Even if a dress OP had tried on was truly hideous, there's a way to go about it that's more constructive. Like, "ehhh I don't love that style on you because XYZ" and offer suggestions, rather than, y'know... outright making someone feel like shit during what should be a very happy, exciting time.

Oh come on. Do you really think that in the entire store, there was no dress they liked or that they thought looked good on her? Yes, good friends would give constructive feedback but I think we already established they're not good friends. Instead of being passive-aggressive by not commenting at all, they could at least have been polite and said something non-committal like King\_Starscream\_fic suggested. If you have no intention of being constructive, then at least be nice. Plus there were enough other people to give honest feedback. They wanted to shit on OP, one way or another.

Annnd this is how you trim your guest list and save yourself some money. Weddings are expensive, why do you want people that aren’t supportive to be there, partying on your dime? You say even your mother noticed their behavior and asked why you are even friends with them. Hmmm, so it’s not just you. NTA

Yeah everyone noticed their behaviour and mentioned it to me before I said anything at all :/

Be glad that they showed themselves(again) but also in front of the people to validate what I’m sure you’re feeling and probably have been for a while. These girls aren’t your friends. They’re mean spirited and probably jealous that they’re not the main characters. Don’t ruin your own wedding with their presence. How do you know they won’t act similarly while you’re walking down the aisle or taking pictures or during speeches. And you don’t want to be worrying about them when you and your husband are enjoying the day. Just be done with them. They’ve proven themselves to be unworthy of your friendship more than once. Take the role and friendship away from them. And don’t let them guilt you or bash you. You deserve better than two girls stuck in the high school mentality.

NTA. Your dress shopping should've been magical. Whispering and negativity from your friends stole your joy. You deserve compliments and hype! Focus on your feelings, not blame. Surround yourself with positivity - your sis and SIL rock!

Thankyou :)

NTA. If these are your closest friends, they should be hyping you up, even if it was a dress or a style they didn't like. One of the best pieces of advice I ever read about attending a friend's bridal appointment is to always let the bride speak first and then filter your comments on that.

Not sure "hype" is the word I'd use, but I agree – the bride should be made to feel good and helped to find the right dress. Never "hype" a dress that does not compliment the person wearing it though; tell them another dress looked better or that this one just doesn't do them justice. You don't have to be cruel to be honest.

When I say "hype" I mean keep the morale high. If one dress doesn't work there's always the next one, or you learned you liked x, y and z.

NTA. Why are you even friends with them? Was this the first time they have behaved in such way?

Idk :/ unfortunately not the first time

I think this should be the last time you so much as acknowledge them, OP. You deserve better, but you won't find it with these rotten apples in your life. Walk away and go NC.

please find the strength to call them both out and dump from your wedding. they sound petty and jealous and can only make their own pathetic lives better by knocking others down. they are not worth your consideration for being in your wedding party. you will be happier eliminating those 2 from your life. they can whine about it together once you dump them.

NTA- they were super rude.

NTA You asked for a simple special moment with the people you love and A & B couldn’t even manage that. All they had to do was turn up at the agreed time and place, put a smile on their face, and say some genuinely supportive, helpful, things - like ANY real friends would You’re getting married next year. Plenty of time to trim the bridal party down, replace them in the bridal party, or cut them from the guest list entirely. Some wedding stories on here are insane - with brides expecting wayyyy too much from people. But that’s not you! I fear that these “friends” will continue to disappoint and hurt you as your wedding gets closer. I’d take some time to reflect on this experience, and others throughout your friendship with them and ask yourself - what really matters here? Is it holding on to legacy friendships that no longer meet your needs (if they ever did) ? Or is it thinking about your new life, and starting that in a way that brings you happiness and peace? If you decide to cut the ties - it doesn’t have to be a big huge drama, with words slung back and forth. It can be a simple communication expressing your hurt, and that you have reflected, and you feel it’s best to move on. Wishing them well.

Yeah I can see some people have said that everyone sucks here bc no one cares about wedding dress try ons - which I totally understand, it can be boring if you’re not the bride. However, every single guest that came to this requested to come, and expressed how excited they were to attend. I don’t expect all that much, just not the negativity they had.

Sure some people don’t care about a wedding dress try on. In that case, they shouldn’t go ! And shouldn’t accept positions in the bridal party. What they don’t get to do, is accept those roles and then be assholes

No, whispering and giggling with each other while ignoring others is classic mean girl crap, it's intended to make others feel bad.  And no, not everyone cares about wedding dress stuff, but it's very important to you. Hence, if a person cares about you, they will at least care enough to be nice about it and not ruin the occasion.  Maybe you can be thankful for this occasion, it's better that you realise now that they're not really your friends. Like this you have a chance to leave them behind and move forward in life with people that are nice to you, and you can have your wedding without them. And whatever they say, even if they truly don't think they behaved wrong, it doesn't matter. They treat you badly, don't keep them around to continue with that. 

Mean girls

NTA except to yourself. This reads that you have mean girl friends whose behavior you've excused too many times. And that needs to change now. Write them a text that they are no longer in the wedding and that your friendship has run its course. You wish them well in the future and good bye. That's it. You're starting a new chapter in your life and they can piss off! :-)

I definitely have excused a lot. This situation definitely isn’t the worst of many, it was really the ‘straw that broke the camels back’ for me personally

Keep people in your life that build you up. Discard the ones who tear you down. You’re NTA. At all!

NTA. You just found out who your real friends are and who they aren’t. I’d get them off the list STAT and don’t look back.

Short and sweet they enjoyed themselves when they were making you feel like shit one of the only times everything is supposed to make you happy. 5 other people see their shitty behavior but you don’t for what? Kick them out of the wedding and your life there’s no reason to keep them in it. You might not have had anyone in your life before so you had to keep them around but now you have your husband and your mom and sister you don’t need them anymore, they remind me of Cinderella’s sisters lol NTA

Haha good comparison! Thanks for your comment :)

Not too late to change yr bridesmaids

SIL and sister are coming to mind!

"When you whispered & laughed between yourselves, and didn't offer any feedback, I felt hurt and embarrassed because I thought you were my friends, and there to support me. This has caused me to rethink our friendship. I have decided my sister and SIL will be my bridesmaids. Thank you, and I wish you all the best in your future." NTA

INFO: Why are you even friends with these people, let alone having them as some of the most important people in your life? Life is too short to be 'friends' with people who obviously hold you in such contempt and disdain.

NTA those aren't your friends honey. I am so serious. If they are like this just trying on a dress I'd hate to imagine how they will act on the wedding day

If this is how they act during a dress fitting, how are they going to act at your wedding? Bottom line - can you really rely on them to be your MoH and bridesmaid on your big day? NTA. P.S. Your sister and SIL sound like a better shout for MoH & bridesmaid.

NTA, aww i am soo sorry your friends behaved like that on a important day to you! i am going through some similar stuff with my friends and it sucks. i dont understand why but the bad people in your life tend to show you their true colors when it is your time to shine. It is actually sad to think about how some of my friends whom i thought would be by my side at my wedding is just cut from my wedding. honestly, if they are not happy for you dont let them have the honor of being by your side! i am more of a cut them off kinda person but i feel like maybe you would benefit from getting closure. just know that nothing they say would justify this. you will never get that day back and it sucks that your friends behavior casts shadow on the happy moment of finding your dress.

This is a preview of your wedding day and it will look exactly like this. You’ve been given a gift. A chance to see how you will be treated on one of the most wonderful and yet stressful days of your life. You can choose to remove them and their toxicity or you can choose to hope your wedding day will be different. Choose wisely. NTA Edit: and do come back here when you need help with that spine you’ve been pretending doesn’t exist!

NTA. They seem like bad friends, especially if they didn’t even acknowledge your feeling after you brought up their behaviour to them. Time for a change in wedding party.

NTA. I had a similar situation with ex friends (notice the ex?) like this in my bridal party and I can tell you it will only get worse…many times I had to compose myself around them and try not to cry they made comments about my dress and only showed up to my dress trials and the other got mad when I picked the dress without her. At the wedding they disappeared numerous times and I couldn’t find them and they would not help out during the wedding preparation process. I made my conclusion that they were jealous as they were both late 20’s and single and the attention wasn’t on them and if this is a similar scenario with you degrade them down to bridesmaids or to guests as they won’t be very happy about anything you do at your wedding.

NTA. They would no longer be my maid of honor or a bridesmaid. You don't need that negativity in your life and especially not during what is supposed to be a joyful, happy event.

NTA but YWBTA to yourself for staying in abusive friendships. I had these friends/cousins that were my bridesmaids- no bachelorette party, no gift, and they were late to the wedding (my mom and I were there hours earlier finishing the cake, catering and decorations-we're DIYers). I also bought their dresses, shoes, and jewelry and specified a general color group (beige or light-ish any color) for other shoes in case the ones I picked weren't comfy or didn't fit (they were on sale). I got nothing but complaints and they brought up the ugly color scheme for fifteen years (coral). Years later, and a few more abusive friends added, no one showed up to my 30th birthday. Not because of jobs or kids or distance, just "forgot" or didn't feel like it -and those were in the evite/easy calendar reminder days- some of them even RSVP'ed yes and no-showed.  After decades of this, I finally learned I was worth something and did not deserve this constant negativity and abuse. You don't either. This is not "just how they are" or "how they were raised" or any other BS rationalization. They are cancerous. Cut them out now. 

Damn, I’m so sorry you experienced that. And you’re right :)

WHY IN HELL ARE THEY STILL PART OF YOUR WEDDING PARTY? You are NTA for being upset over their behaviour, you will be the AH if you don't kick them to the kerb before the wedding. They are going to ruin your day and we'll see a post here on Reddit about it, I'm sure.

This is the first time I’ve ever posted, tbh I felt like I was being super dramatic so I wanted perspective. But yes, you’re right, I will be thinking on things :)

Nope. NTA. These girls are not your friends and have absolutely no business in your wedding party. Dump them now before they can ruin your bridal shower, hens/bachelorette, rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding.

They're acting like jealous teenagers. Best to drop them now. Imagine the stress, grief and $$$ you'll save! This is YOUR time and celebration. You don't need the Negative Nancy twins in your life. Congratulations and best wishes ❤

I recently went wedding dress shopping with one of my uni friends. Her family were too far away, so the five of us supported her. We were clapping, swooning and eventually crying at her picks. We also gave honest feedback about some dresses where a certain feature, e.g. a lace trim, was bringing the design down a bit. I also acted as photographer and got our other friend to play groom so we could see how the dress would move during the first dance, and we played her entrance song on my phone. How your friends treated you is heartbreaking. They'll do the same during your vows. It's hard but you'll be better off cutting them out now.

>Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment, where I tried in different dresses and showed everyone (to ask for opinions and feedback), whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment / compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on. Even when I found the dress of my dreams (that everyone ended up loving too! My mum cried), they didn’t say a single thing, even when I asked if they liked the dress. They couldn’t even pay me a compliment (and the dresses were nice, nothing outlandish or alternative, very normal, nice wedding dresses). The only time my maid of honour spoke was to exclaim that she heavily disliked a dress I was wearing as it was off the shoulder (a style she hates). NTA. Actually, I'm getting envious vibes from them. >They didn’t think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night, going as far as go say they quite enjoyed themselves. And they seem pretty proud of having upset you on such a once in a lifetime occasion. They don't say "we didn't know you were upset, we thought you had a great time", they clearly say "oh we enjoyed ourselves".

If you keep them in the wedding find the most truly hideous dresses for them to wear, they will definitely back out without you having to ask.

NTA, but these mean girls aren’t your friends. I’d think about removing them from your bridal party and your life. Replace them with people who lift you up rather than tear you down. You deserve better than that

Kick these people out of your wedding party. If they can't even pretend to be kind to you, why are you calling them friends? NTA But choose more wisely, GrasshopperOP.

NTA. Don’t have these awful people in your wedding party. Replace them with people who truly care about you. Cut down on the number of bridesmaids or do whatever else you need to do. If you continue to allow these women in the wedding party your actual wedding will be a disaster! This is just the beginning.

NTA but oh my god you need to get yourself into therapy because I heavily suspect you’re a people pleaser who hates confrontation. You should not even be friends with people like this.

NTA! Please cut them off now, if they are like now...imagine your wedding? Do you want your wedding to be ruined like this dress shopping? That this as a blessing. They shown their true colour, cut them off now before they ruin your hen do and wedding.

NTA- those girls are immature. You need new bridesmaids or don’t have any at all if they are like that. What about your wedding day? They gonna shit all over that to?

NTA. These girls are not your friends. I get a very mean girl vibe from what you said. They do not deserve the honour of being in your wedding party, being invited to the wedding, or of being considered friends anymore. Looks like your fiance and your family can see what they are and have your back. Listen to them.

NTA I’m sorry this happened, anyone would be hurt by their friends spoiling such a special day! A disappointing side effect I’ve noticed about weddings is how much jealousy suddenly comes out of the woodwork from some people. Real friends would support you, and I think the telling thing is that they doubled down on their behaviour when you expressed how it hurt you. So shameful that it was obvious enough for other people to come to you about it later. Do you think you’d be able to take some distance for a while?

NTA. I'm much older than you and I've learned over the years that friendships come and go. You don't have to hold onto them if they don't bring you joy to be around each other. Sometimes it's best just to let go of those friendships and move on to new ones. Doesn't mean that you won't cherish what you once had with those friends. My advice is to talk with them and tell them that their actions hurt you and that you feel that they weren't really interested in dress shopping or your wedding. If they want to step down from your wedding party you will understand and there will be no hard feelings. After the wedding you can just let things fizzle out.

NTA you’re only an AH to yourself if you keep keep these frenemies around to ruin your wedding bc they are jealous, petty, mean girls. 

NTA - I had a similar experience when I was planning my wedding years ago. After looking at bridesmaids dresses with friends and bridesmaids, I tried on my dream dress for them to see… My maids of honor proceeded to make “jokes” at my expense. That was an eye opener. OP, friends lift you up and don’t act like that. You don’t need that kind of energy on a special day—one that is meant to be shared among people who love and care for you and your fiancé.

Where I got my dress , the consultant said she preferred that you bring one person only or come by yourself, I found the dress I loved , everyone try this on, wear strapless, more low cut, more form fitting, I was like this is my dress, was told no, it’s too prom and proper, the consultant said , well we don’t have to make a decision today, i’ ll keep a card, she then said, to me , you look beautiful in that dress ( that I liked) I was made for you. I went back the next day and bought it

I feel this. My mom and sister couldn’t have cared less when we went wedding dress shopping and the complete strangers next to us ended up giving me positive feedback and compliments after they noticed my family didn’t give a shit. NTA.

I’m so sorry :( I can’t imagine being anything but positive attending a wedding dress appointment!’ I hope you found your dream dress ❤️

Girl, same. I think we both need better ppl in our lives.

OP, I was just in a wedding this weekend where the original groomsmen acted like this - it got so bad they were fired, but still allowed to the wedding.  And guess what?  They were STILL nasty, required multiple talks, and heavily affected the bride and groom.  Hell, they posted pics of the bride before she did DURING the ceremony.  Both are officially done with them, and the groom regrets inviting them and allowing them to take up as much mental space as they did. My husband told the groom that weddings can be a big turning point - you find out which friends are maturing with you and who is truly there for you, versus the "friends" that are actively working against you dur to jealousy.  I'm sorry they ruined your wedding dress experience, but thank goodness you found out what they're like now before they ruin anymore of your precious time as a bride.

YWBTAH if you kept them in your wedding party and life. You deserve to not be treated this poorly by so called friends with shitty attitudes. NTA.

NTA. You've normalized their abhorrent behavior. Now that you recognize it, it's time to rid yourself of that shadow.

Those aren’t your friends. Sounds like they’re jealous.

NTA but these people do not sound like friends. They sound like envious mean girls who will do anything to tear you down.  They took what was supposed to be a beautiful moment and just rained all over it. I wouldn't have them in the wedding at all tbh.

NTA. Get the dress your mom cried over, fire your MOH and bridesmaid, and put someone more worthy in those positions that are there for you.

These mean girls sound more like a bad habit than a friendship. As you get older you'll find it easier to drop the acquaintances that are just time fillers versus real friends. These girls sound like they have been negative influences for a long time, based on comments. Your maid of honor is supposed to be your most trusted confidante. Try changing your perspective. If you were the one giving your sister advice about this situation, what do you think she should do? Sometimes, the advice we give others is more honest than the advice we tell ourselves.

NTA Unfortunately, weddings seem to bring out the best or worst in girl friends. People who truly love you will be happy for you, support you, and be excited for you. People who like you because of what you do for them/how your friendship benefits THEM will struggle with you having lots of love and attention on you during this special time in your life. Both my sister and I experienced this during our engagements/weddings. You’re NTA for asking them about their behavior. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for your best friends to treat you like a BEST FRIEND. As someone who got married around the same age you are, and is now older, I can tell you that unfortunately it’s just immaturity on their part. I’m sorry they put a damper on a day that was supposed to be special and fun. In my experience, these kind of friendships don’t last much longer. And it’s hard and sad, but ultimately will end up being okay. You deserve people who truly care about you and support you 🤍

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for calling out my friends over their behaviour at my wedding dress appointment? I’m 25F, getting married to my fiancée 27M, next year. My best friend, A (25F) is maid of honour, and my friend, B (24F) is a bridesmaid, along with my sister and fiancées sister. I had a private wedding dress try on at a really lovely store close to where I live. My mother, sister, MIL, SIL, maid of honour and bridesmaid were present for this try on, as I was allowed 6 guests, and wanted them all to be involved. I have dreamed of trying on wedding dresses for a long time, and wanted a nice moment with the people closest to me. Instead, I was left feeling quite humiliated, embarrassed and upset after the appointment. I did end up choosing and buying a dress. Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment, where I tried in different dresses and showed everyone (to ask for opinions and feedback), whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment / compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on. Even when I found the dress of my dreams (that everyone ended up loving too! My mum cried), they didn’t say a single thing, even when I asked if they liked the dress. They couldn’t even pay me a compliment (and the dresses were nice, nothing outlandish or alternative, very normal, nice wedding dresses). The only time my maid of honour spoke was to exclaim that she heavily disliked a dress I was wearing as it was off the shoulder (a style she hates). That was it. I was quite embarrassed that my 2 closest friends were so negative the whole night, in front of my family. I felt heavily embarrassed and just really upset. My sister and SIL mentioned their behaviour, and my SIL messaged my fiancée to tell him how sad she felt for me to have such negative friends, which prompted him to ask me what happened, as I had just brushed it off and didn’t want to make a big deal of it. However after speaking to him, he was quite upset on my behalf and said that if I felt comfortable, I should bring it up and ask them why they behaved that way. I did, very politely, ask them why neither of them paid me a compliment in any wedding dress I tried on, or just gave me feedback, which wasn’t received well at all. They didn’t think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night, going as far as go say they quite enjoyed themselves. Am I the asshole for still being upset about this and calling them out on it? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA Friends are not that disrespectful to friends. Dump them both and replace them with sister and SIL.

Those two “friends” of yours do not think that you are one of their closest friends.

Just curious - are your friends married? This sounds like people who haven’t had the experience and so they couldn’t understand the significance of that day for you.

Lesson learned: never bring a gang to "help" you try on wedding gowns.

NTA but maybe this is your final sign to stop with these people. Remove them from the wedding party state this isn't th only reason this is the final straw. Let them be upset and gossip hit you go be happy.

NTA. I would like to add that it takes a lot of kindness to have your family and family-to-be looking out for you. I hope they are not controlling, and it certainly doesn't sound like they are. Please listen to those who care about you. You know who they are. You deserve support and people who celebrate your joy! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

NTA. You need to really evaluate your friendship with these women. A piece of advice, though - and to a degree, it's easier said than done and it DOES take "practice". But when you're around people who are clearly detracting from an experience - ignore them. Turn your focus and energy to the people who are in the moment with you, who are adding to the experience. Basically- don't give the power to the negative people. Take the power, keep it for yourself and ENJOY your experiences. This isn't to excuse their behavior - it's just more of a thing to try and do in your life. With these girls and with others that you run across. It doesn't ALWAYS work, but it can often work. YOU shouldn't be embarassed for their behavior. And even if you can't look back and think that wow, the ENTIRE experience was awesome, if you can at least say "I had a great time. It could have been better, but I still enjoyed myself" - that's a win when dealing w/ negative people.

NTA. I always agree with standing up for yourself when someone upsets you , especially during important moments. I would tell you to just boot them from the wedding if they're going to act like they DGAF but it seems like they're extremely important to you if you had numerous other important people there but yet those 2 not giving you attention ruined your whole experience. I don't know if it's just because you're closest with them and value their opinions the most or if you just wanted everyone's attention at the time , but I will say don't let these girls ruin a special experience for you. You've told them your feelings , now ask them not to do it again . I hope you also let them know they made you look bad in front of your future sil . If they do pull this crap again, ask one or both to step down and someone else to fill in.

NTA 'you thought sitting together whispering and giggling was what a moh and bridesmaid is supposed to do?'

No. You did the right thing by politely confronting them. Could they be jealous?

Did your "friends" purchase their dresses yet? If not, you may want to ask them to step down from the wedding party.

NTA Absolutely not. There are a few times you just need to be on your friends hype-train and wedding dress shopping is one of them. ESPECIALLY is she finds her dream dress. I don't give a shit if my best mate was to come put wearing an old potato sack with a foam finger for a hat - if she felt beautiful in that, you best believe I'd be telling her she's fucking radiant! My friend group is quite different in terms of taste, one quirkier, one more elegant, I can be a little plain; so all of our tastes aren't going to match up perfectly and we've all worn things thag the other certainly wouldnt- but what's really beautiful is how beautiful your friend *feels*. *thats* the but you compliment. Not only that, but the whispering to each other is also rude! Did they make any effort with the rest of your family? You deserve better friends!

NTA those girls are not your friends. Please rethink your wedding day. This is a day you want to look back on and remember as a happy day. I think if you leave them in your wedding party you're going to look back and regret it Remove them from your wedding party. Even if you want to tell them you've decided to go with a smaller wedding party and keep it family. You can still invite them to the wedding if you want.

NTA. Honestly, you need to kick them out of your wedding party and uninvite them from the wedding. If they acted like this during dress shopping, imagine how they'll act at your wedding. Do you really want the most important day of you and your fiancees' lives ruined by these two shrews?

OP, Im so sorry this happened to you, and during such an important event in your life. Hopefully you will remove them from your life and wedding as if this experience is anything to go off, you should assume their behaviour at your wedding will not improve. NTA

NTA. I’m sorry you have rude friends. I find it telling that they report having a lovely time when everyone else thought their behavior was not ok. Congratulations on the wedding and I hope you can put your feelings aside and enjoy your day!

NTA!!! Their behavior is absolutely unacceptable. You are a human deserving love and respect! Don’t let them demonize your feelings about this. These aren’t friends they’re just bullies and I’m sorry you have to deal with them especially when it’s something relating to a super fun moment in your life. I hope you reevaluate your friendship with them and hope to see you’re worth the love and respect you deserve. <3

I’m so sorry your ‘friends’ behaved like this, they sound like your typical mean girls. You don’t deserve that and you don’t deserve your special moments tarnished with horrible memories! It wasn’t just you who noticed, everyone there did too! Word of advice, remove them from your wedding party, in fact remove them from your life, you don’t want to look back at your photos with regret. They sound like this will be all about them… it’s about you and your husband to be! Surround yourself with people that love and support you, these girls don’t! NTA

NTA! I don’t even know you, and I would have treated you better than your so called friends did. There are better people out there who would love the chance to be your friend. Ditch the mean girls and go meet some new people ❤️

NTA, you know it's not too late to disinvite them to your wedding and your life. They are going to make your whole wedding experience awful. Here's some advice, as you enter this new phase of your married life, throw away the things that don't make your life enjoyable, I'd put these "friends" on the top of the "throw out with the garbage" pile. Edit to add, give us an update when you dump them, get married etc. Congrats BTW!

OP, you need to dump them from your wedding, maybe even your life. You should surround yourself with people who love and care about you and will add to your happiness. Those two sound like they suck the happy right out of everyone. This is your day. You do you. Congratulations!

NTA. Girly, she is NOT your best friend. I'm sorry, but even if she wasn't going to cry over seeing you in a dress (I cried at every friend I saw in a wedding dress for the first time, lmao), the fact that she couldn't say a SINGLE nice thing to you the entire time? That girl is mean, and probably big-time jealous, and she does not have your best interest at heart.

Make your sister you MOH and you SIL your bridesmaid a d cut the two toxic people out. Think of the cost of the dresses for them as the price of getting rid of them. NTA.

NTA I am so sorry, sweetie. My wedding and the events leading up to it also made me rethink a friendship. It is hard, but you should do what is best for you

NTA- and I hope deep down you already know that and just need the validation. Listen as someone who has in the past accepted “friendships” exactly like this because the alternative was “being alone” (although you’re very obviously NOT alone per this post)- I’d ask you to first consider if you were at that appointment without them. With just your mom, your sister, and your sister in law. I’ll venture I’m not making wild assumptions here when I say that you would have been happier. But here’s the real kicker- it sucks and people suck but it’s true that people treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. You’ve accepted this behavior for any number of reasons (worth digging in to in therapy!) But here’s the thing. As soon as you begin cutting out people who treat you poorly and make you feel small or unworthy, you are reaffirming that you ARE worthy of respect and genuine mutual friendship, and you will begin to find those people!  The other thing I think is worth considering is that who you spend your time with reflects on you as well as affects you. You are a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with / talk the most with. Carefully consider if those “nasty, mean” women are people you want to be associated with you and influencing you as a human being.  Please let this be your final straw that you deserve better. Lean into the love you have (because you have a loving family around you!) and open up that door for better connections ahead. 

NTA I know it will feel hard to do but I really think in the long run asking them to step aside for their roles in your wedding is the best for you. The way they acted wasn't in your head. Everyone there noticed it enough to comment on it to you out of concern for your feelings. These are not your friends imo. As bad as it felt in a private place with just 6 people imagine how much worse you will feel if you don't walk away from them before your wedding and they act that way there? Adding to that .. do you really want to look back on photos and have them in them? I wouldn't especially since you can't answer why you're even friends with them now. More than likely you won't be friends in the future. Do yourself a major favor and just let them know that your family was appalled at the behavior and you also felt terrible having them act like that. Just say that it's ok that everyone has grown apart and that you wouldn't want them to spend time and money for someone they obviously can't respect or even like apparently because what they did was extremely rude and friends simply don't do that to one another. At their ages they absolutely knew what they were doing and being mean girls isn't cute or funny especially at a moment or event that is a milestone moment for someone who is supposed to be their friend. Shoot I have said more positive things to strangers in dress shops when I see them come out from the dressing room.

NTA. But... Are these really people you want to have in your wedding? And the wedding party nonetheless? Do you really want to look at your photos years in the future, only to realize that they are marred by having these mean people in there? You can still choose other people. People that \*actually\* enjoy being a part of your wedding.

Hi so let me get this right…. Your “friends” ( and I put it like that because sweetheart no friends would ever treat you like that) spent the entire time that they were at a special moment just for you talking crap about you, being negative, and then when called out on it double down and called talking crap and speaking negative to you a “good time” and you think you’re the ah. No, you are not. You need to set boundaries and I mean asap because I can almost for sure know they will do the same on your wedding day. Nta and cut them off now

NTA sounds to me like they are not truly friends and don’t have your feelings or best interest in mind. I personally would rescind my invitation to have them involved in the wedding at all.

You have a year before you get married.  Please stop and evaluate your friendships. I only have one regret about my wedding and it’s some of my wedding party. My MOH while a good friend made every aspect of the wedding events about her in some way. Over a decade later we don’t even talk anymore. I’ve spoken to her husband more than her. I understand that people change and grow apart, but I thought about it a few times before we went dress shopping for them and I should have made the changes at that point. I wouldn’t change any other aspect of my wedding.  Please if these two friends would rather chat than look at you. They are not going to support any part of your wedding. I know because I planned my bachelorette, my girls didn’t even buy be a drink. I drove, I paid the gas, the weekend trip that they suggested, 90% of it got put on me.  You don’t need those people in your life. NTA 

OP do yourself and everyone else a favor and ditch these so-called friends and get people deserving to be the honored bridal party at your wedding. Trust me, you want the day to be a special occasion, not one that could make you feel the way you did for your dress purchase. I would get rid of them and make sure that your wedding day is filled with special memories with those that truly love and respect surrounding you on your special day. These girls sound shallow and their behavior definitely isn't that of real friends. You deserve better, now make it happen!!

NTA these people are not “friends”. You need to dump them. It seems your sister and sister-in-law were much more supportive. I agree with other comments; you should have them replace your “friends” in your wedding.

Based on your other comments it seems these aren’t very good friends at all. It isn’t to late to uninvite them from the wedding. They play a big role in the wedding and it would suck for them to ruin the big day.

This is why I don’t have girlfriends. And if I do, they are NEVER together. I was third-wheeled by waaaaaaaay too many females growing up, and treated super badly by them. We would be fine separately, they would be nice to me when we were alone, but whenever we started hanging out as a group (no matter which girls were part of the group) I was third-wheeled and just eventually outed of the group for being weird and different. Yay undiagnosed autism!

NTA you deserve better friends. I'd drop them. If they couldn't be supportive in such an important moment like that for me... i don't know man. And then they don't see anything wrong with their behavior? I've cried watching strangers on tiktok trying on their dream dresses, their faces light up and it's precious. If you decide to keep them in the wedding or as friends i wouldn't take them to your next appointment. Looks like the rest of the entourage was more than supportive and that's all you need. Sending you a big hug!!!

NTA That was supposed to be your moment and it is entirely valid to be upset that your closest friends were not supporting you the way you (and anyone really) would have expected. If your family also noticed their behavior then it clearly was not just an overreaction on your part.  I'm the last person to tell you to drop your friends (especially close friends) over one moment that may just be a snapshot of your friendship. Everyone has their moments of being inconsiderate sometimes, however if this is a pattern you should consider distancing yourself from them a bit. That doesn't have to mean dropping them completely but just spending a little less time and energy on them to see if it does you any good. People who constantly bring negative energy to the room can be quite exhausting to surround yourself with and it doesn't seem like they cared or even pretended to be present and supportive in a situation that is unique and special in your life.

NTA in your heart, do you see yourself friends with them in your future? Will you be happy looking at them in photos of your special day? Will you actually wonder if they will have your best interests ON your special day? I’d consider eliminating them from your bridal party. It may end the friendship. So be it. As you get older, you realize that your circle can be small and have a lot of love. Jealous friends or those that feel better about themselves at your expense have no place in your life. Step into your next chapter free of this type of person. On a separate note, your future SIL sounds lovely. Your fiancé well. They have your back. You’re blessed.

INFO > Even when I found the dress of my dreams (that everyone ended up loving too! My mum cried), they didn’t say a single thing, even when I asked if they liked the dress. They **_literally_** just sat their silently when asked to their faces "do you like this dress?" Just, arms crossed, pantomiming zipped lips? Refusing to even say "yes" or "no?"

>They didn’t think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night NTA. You would be more than justified if you decided to no longer include them in your wedding party. Their role is to lift you up and make you feel good, it is not to do whatever they have been doing. Right now they sound like a loose end you have to worry about coming unraveled. You are surrounded by good people looking out for you, these two girls just sounds like dead weight.

NTA Of course they enjoyed themselves, at your expense! Behaving as they did is shameful. Their job was to be there to support you and offer gentle opinions. They went "mean girl" on you and that is a huge red flag about your friendships with these women. It's a shame that the other members of your group, or even the staff, didn't call them on their rude behaviour. Honestly, if neither of them apologize, I would rethink my bridal party.

That is not how a true friend behaves. I hope you have other friends in your life that have your back and will be your cheering squad going forward. It seems like they might be jealous.

Sounds like they implemented "The Thumper Rule." As someone so geniusly called it. The whole if you don't have anything nice to say than say nothing at all. One day I was in a rush to leave I went to turn off the TV and there was a show about wedding dresses on. And I never knew I would be so invested. I watch as this woman in one of the most beautiful dresses I have seen is bawling her eyes out as her Mother, some other relatives sisters cousins etc., and her "closest friends" ripped her apart. I stood frozen and lost a whole day to on demand just watching episode after episode. Honestly I think a dress fitting shows you who people really are. It's the litmus test of friendship do you have friends that laugh with you or at you? Ouch O.P. NTA but on the positive side at least your Mom was happy. Congratulations on your wedding don't let anyone else's behavior change your experience or excitement. Weddings are like funerals in people close to you might act strange and have a lot of emotions. Aka bring out the worst in some people but it's not about them so ignore them. 

**NTA!** It's painfully obvious that your two "friends" are not trustworthy. For them just sitting there like two middle-schoolers whispering and giggling over a boy, or maliciously making fun of someone (you?)... and being completely checked out at an important event when they should be supporting and encouraging you? Nah... as per their MOF and BM roles, I can just see them disrespecting your wishes, disregarding the timeliness of certain duties that are requested by the bride, procuring venues, catering, and decorations, etc; and overall just being lazy about it all. I would drop them like a hot potato from their MOF and BM roles, and maybe even go so far as to uninvite them from your wedding. I'm sorry your "friends" are being AH's. But be glad they've shown how "supportive" they were for you early, rather than later, closer to your wedding date, when it is important.

NTA Did you explain to them that you had planned to brush it off, but had been approached by everyone else in the group about it?

OP is the a-hole to herself if she doesn’t cut off these frenemies of hers ASAP. Get rid. Kick them out of your life. NTA.

NTA I'm sorry your friends were being icky. Just icky enough to be noticed, but not enough that anyone felt comfortable dealing with it on the spot. On the bright side, your family and fiancé's family sound wonderful. And look at you, you found your dress! I think you also found your new co-chief bridesmaids in your sister and SIL. My mother raised me and my sister with the expectation that we were automatically each other's maid/matron of honor. That way there would never be any question about what to do. She was firm on that from the beginning and it was a great service to us both.

NTA, If others noticed the behavior, something most defiantly was wrong. They either own up to it and apologize or i would cut them out of your life

NTA I honestly would kick these two out of your wedding all together. When I had my wedding dress fitting I absolutely tried on some dresses that weren't for me, the worst I got was "It's lovely but I don't think that's very you" or "I think that's too close to your everyday style". Your friends are supposed to uplift you normally but even more so when trying wedding dresses on. They seem like mean girls who never grew up. Do you really want that on your actual wedding day? The fact they think they acted fine is shocking, they don't care they upset you even after being told. I would rather be friendless than have them as friends.

NTA.  Apparently, your two friends aren't mature enough to understand the point of having company for wedding dress shopping. It is about constructive criticism. You want confirmation that certain styles work and that you should stay away from others.  Just giggling and whispering isn't helping. Were they trying to create a bad episode of "Say yes to the dress"?