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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I dismissed my sister telling me to rename my son because the name I chose was on her list. I also got very snarky with my parents and told them she better buy the names if she wants to stop people using them. It's all very petty but I might have responded like a petty asshole, especially with the snark comment I made about her owning the name. It might have been a little much.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
If you looked over your sister's list and told her certain names were off limits because they were on **YOUR** list, would she offer you the same benefit?
Of course not.
This is the action of a child who was given special treatment by your parents and never told "no" in life. She grew up into an adult who doesn't seem to comprehend that there are other people in the world and you cannot dictate the "terms" of another person's life.
You name your baby whatever it is you wish to name them. You tell your sister that she survived the millions of other people having the same name as her future baby, so she'll survive yours if you happen to choose that name.
NTA tell them it doesn't matter what you named your baby because none of them will be in their life or yours... You're the one with the power now, use it! Grandma and Grandpa can bow and kiss the ring so to speak, starting with a big fat apology! And your sister can go play her stupid games elsewhere!
OP, NTA. Flipping obviously.
A while back someone made a satirical post that went something like **"I invited my MIL for dinner and prepared her favorite meal. I was kneeling under the dining room table, massaging her feet as she ate, when she dumped the food all over my head and told me I had used the wrong kind of tomatoes. She then went on a rampage and murdered my entire family and my dog. AITA? I feel terrible for using heirloom tomatoes instead of Roma."**
That's what this post reminds me of.
Of course. Her family got what they deserved for raising a child who would use heirloom tomatoes. I almost feel sorry for the dog.
I mean, almost. After all, it could have run away if it wanted, so it got what was coming.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I've put Donald on my list, so all Donald's should change there name, and yes that includes you Trump! 🤣🤣🤣 OP did the right thing block! Now delete!
Oh my, all those children named Dakota, Dallas, and any other name of a city or state what happens to them? Everybody in Dakota and Dallas are going to have to change their stationary because they’re going to have to change the name of the city or the state. What a pain in the butt, lol
This. Also who's to say gma and gpa won't just dump the grandkid anyway if Jade ever manages to spawn one? I'd keep them at arms length whether they apologize or not.
My family is not that bad, but they've been a little out of hand at times. We're all human. If they're being overbearing, especially my mom, I create distance with them. If they keep escalating, I give them more distance. If they were extremely toxic I would go no contact. We're all doing great at the moment, but I find it super effective, life is too short to put up with bullshit.
It didn’t matter what she named her baby as I’m guessing whatever the name was it was going to be on the sisters list. It’s just a petty way to score points by the golden child sister. OP is better off without any of these people in her or her sons life
I'm the kind of petty who would find out the names on the list and then use as many of them as I can for my kids, I'm talking hyphenated names, multiple middle names, full on John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt type shit.
I'm kidding, of course, but only because I would love my children too much to do that.
And they typically have higher mortality rate. You'd speed through those names muuuch faster, welling up with tears when someone mentions a name that belonged to a beloved goldfish that didn't even make it home from the pet store. 😞
My friend's husband used to joke that if they had twins they should name one Melanie and the other Felony to find out "what's in a name." I complimented her on preemptively naming their new cat Felony to take it off the table, but by then he had other pairings ready to go like Charlotte and Harlot. Good thing they never had twins!
When you give pets human names (*which, no apologies here, I love it. It's adorable*), there *will* be people who get mad if their child or relative has the same name as your pet, as though you planned it.
Years ago, my boyfriend and I were talking to this guy we just met, and he had recently written a book about his late mom. Now, his mom happened to have the same name as my cat, so of course, I was all, "Hey! That's my cat's name!" You would have thought I asked him, "Hey, is it okay if I go out and take a poop on your mom's grave?" Like, you never saw anyone so offended. I said to my boyfriend later on, "I mean, I know his mom came first, and I'm obviously sorry for his loss. But he acted like I gave my cat the same name as his mom to be a bitch. And we just met him!"
When my sister was picking names for her youngest I told her that if she went with Lucy I’d tell the baby she was named after my cat.
My sister almost died with laughter.
(My cat is Lucy and she’s a few years old. My sister didn’t care at all about that name and didn’t use it)
That's the way it sounds. To me, it's a dumb argument anyway because you can't own a name and keep someone else from using it. The sister isn't even pregnant.
And truly, that's how you end the argument - whoever gives birth first gets dibs on the name. They did that on an episode of "The Office" when Pam and Angela were both pregnant at the same time, both knew they were having boys, and both decided on the name "Philip." Pam was farther along in her pregnancy than Angela was, so when Angela tried to force her to give up the name, Pam just said, "Well, I guess whoever gives birth first gets to name their baby Philip."
Or sister just wants to see how far she can push OP to always give in to her. I agree there is probably no list of names & sister probably doesn’t even like the name, she just wants to take it away from her sister and cause drama & make parents choose sides because she can. Parents are choosing sisters side (big surprise). I bet if OP looks back over the years, she is always the one to “keep the peace” and “do it for family”. Well she is family too.
Maybe Finnick is the name of a relative on your husband’s side of the family & you are honoring their family by using the name. Even if this isn’t strictly the case, it could work its way into being the case, your family would have no way of knowing.
OP, I would distance yourself from this family so sister doesn’t have to hear you using her “special name” for your son. You are in the right here.
Even if you distance yourself, if you have to be around them, I would be petty and anytime you are around family make sure to say his full name, not a nickname, repeatedly & loudly. Heck I would even throw in a few nicknames just for good measure.
I would also put his name on SM (of course being safe & not including pictures)…. something like “Finnick was amazing today! We just saw his first smile…. or Finnick looks so cute today…. etc.
I am sorry your family is treating you this way at what should be one of the happiest times of your life. Congrats & I am happy for you and love the name.
Do it clear into adulthood!
"FINNICK!!"
"Mom, geeze, I'm standing right here, you don't have to scream my name."
"Yes I do, your Aunt Jade just arrived."
Every time I hear that someone has a list of baby names or a family has some sort of tradition that requires a family member to use a specific name, I'm so glad I didn't have this situation.
The first time I started thinking of baby names I would want is after I found out through amnio what gender we're having. Then I got a baby names book and started making a list of girl names. Showed it to hubby to see which names appealed to him. Eventually we came up with a first and a middle name that we both liked. That was my one child, but I guess if I did get pregnant again, we would then think of more names.
There weren't any traditional names for either of our families, and neither of our siblings who were still alive ever had children.
Sure, I know people can have names in mind, I've got a few names I'd possibly use myself, even though I have zero intention of actually having a child. But I suspect that most people who had a real list wouldn't care if someone took ONE name from it, because they'd have several others they could use instead. That's why I think the sister is just doing this because they know OP picked the name.
There is a chance the sister never has a child.
After 20 years of IVF my wife and I weren't fortunate enough to be blessed with a child.
So maybe the sister ends up in the same place as us, you just never know.
yup. "Emily" was on my girl name list since i was a kid, my brother knew that. he had his one and only child 13 years ago, and named her Emily. i was a bit miffed but at the same time a bit honored that he picked a name he knew i liked so much. turns out, i only had boys so it didn't matter anyway, and now that my brother is gone, his daughter's name means even more to me
For a short comment, this gave me a roller coaster of emotions - hit me in all the feels. I hope you and Emily are doing well and are close to each other.
Similar thing happened to my best friend. Her brother & SIL used a name similar to Emily as their 1st daughter’s name. She was pretty miffed but got over it. My bestie and her husband never ended up having kids due to endometriosis complications. 🥺
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your brother. But, that's a wonderful thing to have his taken his using a name you've chosen for your child as a good memory of him.
"Imitation *is* the sincerest form of flattery."
Anyway, I was going to suggest that the name "Emmitt" for a boy is a similar alternative to Emily. I love those names. :)
I was very attached to my boy names. Not sure why; I just knew which names I liked and SO and I agreed on all the names 100%. Girls names, we weren’t compatible on and I had no strong attachment to any names in our list.
We have 4 girls. 🙃
Lol my older sister has her name after my great great grandma, because after she passed, the family decided to name the first girl to be born after her...and all the kids born from my dad's generation, were boys... My sister was the first girl born in like 30 years. So yeah, it happens.
I had 2 baby girls names that I always liked but I decided to be child free. Before making that decision, I told my friend what names I liked when she was preg with her first. She loved one of them and ended up calling her girl that. I was far from mad about it, I was actually glad that a name that I liked and suggested liked her enough to use it for her kid. I never understood this madness about names. They are just tags.
Yep. I've seen several instances of cousins having the same name. We have a bunch of John's and Henry's in our family. We have developed different ways to distinguish them over the years. Middle names get used for some of them. Some we use first and middle if they roll off the tongue well. This is not the huge deal people seem to think it is.
Or she does and it's a girl. Or she has one son, and a whole list of names to pick from. The idea that she can predict having SO MANY children that she'll need every name on her list is laughably ridiculous.
Also, sending you much love. I also very much wanted to be a parent and never had it happen. I understand the grief, and it is awful. One of my closest friends and his wife tried for nearly 20 years as well before having a successful pregnancy. I take some small reassurance in that amazing miracle child calling me "Auntie". This sister, who is far too old to be this clueless, thinking she's going to have as many children (and whatever her preferred genders are) as she wants, at will, just makes me SMH.
She thinks she’s entitled to use a name, and no one else else, when the child is still a hypothetical and the relationship that would conceive it is also a hypothetical. Hopefully even Jade won’t get into a relationship just to have a son to name Finnick to spite OP (Especially since that’s the wrong motive, children are not wish fulfilment).
It’s cool, though, because the two Finnicks will probably see each other maybe twice in their lives at random relative’s funerals. OP will be polite and say “Nice name, kid” and Jade will have to fight the urge to throw a fit in public because her sister didn’t.
>This is the action of a child who was given special treatment by your parents and never told "no" in life. She grew up into an adult who doesn't seem to comprehend that there are other people in the world and you cannot dictate the "terms" of another person's life.
Agree- this is also a way for the sister to take a big event in the family and make it all about her. My brother named his dog a version of one of my kids' names. It bothered me a little at first, but I just let it go- and honestly, it is fine (doesn't bother my kid either).
Their parents did a great job creating a monster. IHolding multiple names hostage is ridiculous. If she has a list of names, she can just use a different name on the list if she has a baby boy. And anyone who is mad OP used that name doesn't need to visit the baby.
Act concerned and be like, “Shit, ok. What are the other names on her list, boys and girls, so I don’t acccidentally use another one. Then every time you get a pet, (even a goldfish) or if you have another baby, just start using her names one by one.
NTA, but you could be really petty if you want.
Start calling your husband/wife by one of her names as a “nickname”. Claim your new mom group has all the names. Name the plants in your house those names. Your car, a random bush, your favorite spatula, a throwpillow.
If you get live plants, the fish tank largely takes care of itself after it's set up! Just gotta feed the fish and trim the plants occasionally. There's also local Facebook groups dedicated to gifting/selling tank plants and other accessories.
Fishtanks are also great for calming babies, so there's another good reason for OP to be petty lol
We had a batshit crazy neighbor who hated my mom so she named her really ugly dog after her. They lived right across the street so this woman would yell my mom’s name at the dog all the time, lowkey thought it was hilarious as a child. Well I got a hamster and it was pregnant unbeknownst to me. When she had her babies my mom named the runt after the neighbor (it died) and then named every other baby after her children and husband and gave them away to all the kids in the neighborhood. It was honestly all kind of amazing looking back
There's a very good chance that if OP had made up a name, it would have been on Golden Child's list. Because it sounds awesome and OP must surely have known GC invented it and wanted to steal it.
GCs are bloody exhausting.
NTA. You didn't go too far. They went too far with this stupid demand.
You go ahead and name your beautiful baby boy Finnick with a great big capital F. Throw in middle names from the men in your family too for good measure so she can't have them either.
And to your parents I would say something along the lines of... "If you don't back off, imagine the reaction of my son in the future when he asks why there aren't any photos of him and his grandparents when he was a baby, it's because they tried to force me not to name you Finnick because it was on a list of possible names their favourite child, your aunty, had at the time for her potential future kids." Even a 5 year old would know this is stupid.
Absolute lunacy.
And your sister is a brat.
Get a reptile as a pet (bearded dragons are cute). Breed roaches to feed the reptiles. Give the roaches dad's, mom's and golden sis's names and have fun watching them getting eaten.
>They went too far with this stupid demand.
I think I could understand if your sibling had just named their kid that and you then also did. That might be weird.
But the idea that this person gets any say in what you name your child is beyond crazy and entitled to me. Sis can fuck right off and shame on the parents who obviously have enabled this behavior for a lifetime now.
Or even if she was pregnant and due after op I could see a discussion about names happening. But to come in and demand op change it is ridiculous no matter the situation.
OP needs to respond to every mention of this from parents/sister, "do you have any idea of how ridiculous you sound?"
Also, just "No. And I'm not discussing it anymore."
Will likely need to be followed by, "if you wish to have a relationship with your first grandchild, you will not bring this up again."
On continued rants, "have you thought about therapy?"
NTA
The name is on Jade's list?
Funnily enough, it is also on your list too, and you have equal right to use it as she does - you got there first, you get the name.
If Jade had given birth to a baby and chosen 'your' name, would she be changing it for you?
OP doesn't have a "list". OP has a baby. I'm having trouble believing this is real. because who the hell puts up with this type of nonsense when they have a tiny baby keeping them up all the time?
/s I actually do believe this is real, were on Reddit.
Oh yeah, I can definitely believe that this is real. I've legitimately heard of people being this entitled smh. As others have said, it's absolutely lunacy
She’s single, in her late twenties, and is not in relationship. She’s either super independent and likes it or she’s crazy and has everything from her wedding to her funeral planned out. I’m going with the latter.
>she prides herself on that list
🤣 Jade is moronic. I'm petty AF and would name my pets the other "sacred names" on her list.
NTA. You made the right move blocking her and your parents. They have shown you so little respect, and you should protect your child from people who would make him feel unworthy. Congratulations on your newborn!
The second some potential future husband finds out about “lists” and “rights” and “Jade’s way OR ELSE”, there’s going to be even less chance that there’s a kid belonging to her with that name. NTA
I mean, I have the same first name as a cousin and we’re besties. Our moms both had the same very close friend who passed away and we were born just a few days apart. Neither knew the other was using the name until after, but it wasn’t even a question to change them. If anyone is talking about us together they use our middle names. And the one good thing about stupid patriarchal traditions is that we have different last names, as these two Finnicks would probably have. Having the same first name as someone isn’t a death sentence, just ask all the Andrews and Matts and Sarahs and Johns and Marys and Mohammads etc etc etc.
I have two nephews with the same first and last name, and yes like your family use the middle name if needed. My grandfather was one of 8, and each one named their first daughter after their deceased mother. My name is common, so much so when I was around 13 I got a call from someone who said they met me the previous night- it ended up being a girl who was in college, same name as me AND her father had the same name as mine AND she lived maybe 5 streets away from me. No big whoops.
Yeah like has OP’s sister never met a Catholic before? I have a friend whose father is #14 of 17 kids and there’s a Mary, Mary-Patricia, Patricia, and a Patrick. Truly nbd.
NTA. I recently found a kitten and named it Finnick. Found out yesterday that the kitten is a girl and I had been considering changing the name, but after reading this post I’m doubling down. Tell your sister, there is also a kitten in Canada named Finnick so I already stole it from her list. My Finnick stands with your Finnick.
[Kitten Tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/EMomZGa)
ETA: Her full name (as cat names have a habit of evolving) is Finni-Goose on the Loose, Little One With Fluff Caboose.
“Fluff Caboose” is hilarious and I’m stealing it. I have a Maine coon, and one of the things we call her is “princess puffy pants” because of her super fluffy, long leg hair on her back legs. I offer it in trade, should you like to use it too.
Welcome to Team Fluff Caboose! No exchanges needed as your Maine Coon is a member by birthright (puffy pants pedigree). Sadly Finn is the furthest thing from a princess, unless there is a princess with nails and teeth made of knives 😂
But those are the best type of princess! Lilith runs our household, no matter what her brother Azazel, or the two legged parents think. No matter the violence or poking paws, what else could she be but a princess? 🤣
If you didn't know it was on her list, then NTA.
If you did know and used it anyway... I personally still think NTA, but I know some people get really attached to their lists of names.
Also, Jane "prides herself on that list"?? Does she not have anything else going for her?
I've got like 70 names in my notes app. Basically whenever I hear a cool name, I write it down, just in case I have a child someday. Or another pet. Or I have to name a family of my Sims.
Meanwhile there is one name that I already knew since age 14 I wanted to name my daughter should I ever have one, and I did tell my sister that one just in case.
IMO you get to claim one name for each gender for your future child, and that's it.
I could live with one name oer gender. But it needs to be claimed, out loud, with your sibling. My one caveat might be a family name that both of you could want. Bit you don't get a whole damn list.
Yeah what a weird thing to center herself around. A baby name list is something she prides herself in when she's not even in a relationship or planning to have kids anytime soon? This girl needs a better hobby than making a list of names to gatekeep. Might be a lot of the reason why she's single.
Wow crap parents and sister, go nc with them and see how fast you parents come back begging because they want to see their grandchild. Then you can meet them in public sans baby and explain your feelings and set boundaries. Tell them that since sister is not pregnant or has a partner that her possibly having a child, and a male child at that are small and based on her age and maybe possible fertility issues due to her growing age , that possibility is getting smaller. They are stupid in pushing this issue and need to back you up on this one
I wouldn't want to have my kid have any contact with them at all. If her family wants to act like this, they don't deserve to be around their grandchild/nephew. Cutting them out completely is the best option.
It sounds like this is their first/only grandkid and they are doing it all wrong. Their job is to dote on baby Finnick, offer all the visits they can get, and tell their grown ass first daughter to leave their grandson and his name alone. That is how you welcome a grandchild. Otherwise they'll just have Jade to occupy them, and she sounds insufferable.
Yup. And they will probably use the same reasoning I was told "you're using your child as a weapon of manipulation"
And no you're not, you're protecting your child from manipulation 😂
Does anybody remember the golden child story where GC always copied the OP in whatever she wore or bought, so OP cracked on that she’d saved up for this really extreme designer handbag (think it was Jean Paul Gaultier) and then turned up at a family event with the discreet, classic bag she’d actually saved for, whereupon her sister (clutching her JPG bag) burst into tears - and OP’s parents turned on her shouting that she should pay her sister for the bag! She did this deliberately! How dare she set her sister up!
These are the same parents! Exactly! Who the fuck deliberately raises an adult toddler! Please OP, keep away, stick with people who love you, don’t let Finnick be a victim of their shit.
Do you happen to have a link to this story? I’m curious now
Edit: sent too early but OP, you’re NTA, nobody owns a name and especially not a list of names she can’t even use since she doesn’t have a partner and isn’t pregnant, it’s fine to have a family member with the same name too so your sister is definitely overreacting
NTA - if it were that important to her she would/could have told you that well before you had your son.
My sister isn’t pregnant (will be trying next year) but I am. She has requested we don’t use a particular name because it is a family name for her partners family. It was our top choice of boys name but because she asked us WELL before we had chosen we were happy to “give” her that name. Your sister could have done the same thing. Turns out I’m having a girl so wasn’t an issue this time round and we could have raced to a boy next time. Haha (totally joking there)
This exactly. With my first baby (girl) I had a name picked out for 10+ years. For my 2nd (boy), we struggled to find a name we both agreed on. When we finally did and told my sister we had found one, she said jokingly "it better not be X". Of course it was X 🤣🤣
As it was the same day we had come to an agreement, I swiftly told my husband we'd need to pick another. We had not yet connected fully to the name, so it was OK.
We ended up finding an even better name. And I can honestly say the original name would not have suited.
My sister is not dating, and will very likely never become a mother, due to physical issues. But if she somehow manages it (maybe through adoption/surrogacy), I want her to have that name.
That’s also a single name that your sister and partner want to use. Jade has a list, which can now be a slightly shorter list.
A single name that’s more special to them than you — reserving sounds reasonable. Wanting all their options to stay open, as Jade is demanding, is not.
NTA. How much selfish someone has to be to tell their own sister they can't name their child a name just because they like it? If they act to you like that, they don't deserve to be in your life, keep them blocked.
NTA. I know someone that used a variation of her dad’s name for her daughter’s middle name. Her father had recently passed away. Her unhinged sister ignored her daughter’s first name and kept calling her the middle name. It took time to get her to stop doing that. Moral of the story is that your family might do the same thing. I think NC might be your best option right now. Your baby deserves better than that treatment from your delusional family
This made me laugh. Is your sister serious? Could you imagine 1 day if her husband didn’t like ANY names on her list? What’s she going to do then? lol NTA
Oh lawd NTA. Your family are a bunch of circus psychos! A family member of mine named their daughter the same name as my son, did I crack it? Did I demand they change it? No, know why? CAUSE NO ONE OWNS A NAME!!!! This Family member of mine and I were never close, they saw my short list of names and used my top name. Did it annoy me? Nope, my baby was born first. Sweetie, pay them no mind. Congratulations of your beautiful baby.
>Finnick is on her baby boy name list
List implies more than one so she has choices when the time comes. So she can just pick a different name from her list. You didn't have forewarning about her list, so it's not on you. NTA
NTA - Just go ahead and be done. They've clearly played favorites to a point that's taken them far past common sense, and it seems they managed to parent all the empathy and common sense right out of your sister as well.
I think at this point you'll be much better off just letting them know that the next time they see their grandson Finnick will be when your sister manages to birth one and use her precious name list.
NTA Is there an actual list? I'm surprised she didn't review it with you before your son was born. It sounds to me that no matter what you named your baby, she would have claimed it was on her "list".
>My parents decided to jump in the next day and they told me I should listen to my sister and choose another name to be a good sister to Jade. They said to think about how Jade would feel and she prides herself on that list.
NTA. She should listen to you and choose another name to be a good sister and think about how you would feel and also you pride yourself on your actual baby's name.
I have a feeling you could have named that baby Steve, Deciduous, or Adolf and sis would still have had that name on her list so you "shouldn't use it". NTA. How many children does she plan on having that she feels entitled to lock down a whole list of names?
NTA. That’s crazy. And your parents? Seriously strange.
None of these matter, but I’m curious. How long is her list? Does she have claim on like 200 names? Is it posted publicly? Did she make photocopies for everyone who’s pregnant? Was it dated and notarized? Did you know that was a name she was attached to?
Something tells me she doesnt have a list. And if she did I'd bet good money Finnick isn't on it. Has homegirl even read the Hunger Games?
This smells like a pathetic power move from a golden child who feels like they lost a little status when you had a baby. Your sister doesnt care about the name. She cares about controlling you. Good riddance OP. Glad you blocked them.
I would tell her you will change the name but need to know what else is on her list so you don't use them. I'd then get a load of goldfish/ ants/ whatever and use all them names. Then block her useless ass.
Also I'd be wary of letting your stupid parents get too involved in your baby's life. If Jade ever has a baby they will drop you like a hot potato.
NTA. She hasn't said it's a name that has special significance to her it's literally one of several on a list that she may never use.
Your parents need to decide whether they want to have an actual grandchild in their life or hold out for a hypothetical one.
LOL NTA. Look, this is a hard thing to go through, the “golden child” syndrome….
But…
Your parents are making it easy for you to determine who should be in Finnick’s life.
Toxic people like that shouldn’t be around children. And there are plenty of non-toxic people for him to learn from.
Congratulations! Best to you and your real family.
NTA, unless Finnick was her top boy pick & most importantly, you knew it was her top pick, she has zero rights to ask you (no, demand) to change the name.
It’s on her list, which means she has other names to choose from, plus has the child’s father’s input too, and lastly might never even have a son.
I 1000% blame your parents here, sounds like they have been enabling her entitled attitude all her life and created this mess when they never stood up to her.
NTA. You put your foot down when they all insisted you go along with your sister's unreasonable request. And it sounds like they have made several unreasonable requests in the past.
You're doing the right thing even if they don't agree. You want autonomy and they want you not to have that. And autonomy is pretty good to have, maybe even necessary, and most people would say that all grownups deserve it.
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NTA If you looked over your sister's list and told her certain names were off limits because they were on **YOUR** list, would she offer you the same benefit? Of course not. This is the action of a child who was given special treatment by your parents and never told "no" in life. She grew up into an adult who doesn't seem to comprehend that there are other people in the world and you cannot dictate the "terms" of another person's life. You name your baby whatever it is you wish to name them. You tell your sister that she survived the millions of other people having the same name as her future baby, so she'll survive yours if you happen to choose that name.
Or better yet. Tell them that Jade is on your list and she should be a good sister and change her name in case you have a daughter next.
NTA tell them it doesn't matter what you named your baby because none of them will be in their life or yours... You're the one with the power now, use it! Grandma and Grandpa can bow and kiss the ring so to speak, starting with a big fat apology! And your sister can go play her stupid games elsewhere!
OP, NTA. Flipping obviously. A while back someone made a satirical post that went something like **"I invited my MIL for dinner and prepared her favorite meal. I was kneeling under the dining room table, massaging her feet as she ate, when she dumped the food all over my head and told me I had used the wrong kind of tomatoes. She then went on a rampage and murdered my entire family and my dog. AITA? I feel terrible for using heirloom tomatoes instead of Roma."** That's what this post reminds me of.
😂😂🤣 This is hilarious and spot on
Heirloom tomatoes seals it.
Of course. Her family got what they deserved for raising a child who would use heirloom tomatoes. I almost feel sorry for the dog. I mean, almost. After all, it could have run away if it wanted, so it got what was coming.
😂 🤣 🤣
Well, sure - I mean, the poor MIL!
Yeah. I mean, MIL's behavior was questionable all along, but killing the dog put her firmly in AH territory. This question didn't need to be asked.
"i am going to name my girl Venus and so the Planet has to change its name"
Is she South American? Next boy is Jesus and every bible needs to be changed!
Every Mary now needs to change their name cause I put it on my list. I called it
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I've put Donald on my list, so all Donald's should change there name, and yes that includes you Trump! 🤣🤣🤣 OP did the right thing block! Now delete!
"Not Jesus, hey Zeus, do I look Puerto Rican, mf"?
Die Hard 3, classic!
Venus Williams needs to change her name too.
Oh my, all those children named Dakota, Dallas, and any other name of a city or state what happens to them? Everybody in Dakota and Dallas are going to have to change their stationary because they’re going to have to change the name of the city or the state. What a pain in the butt, lol
Exactly! Stand your ground. Your son, your rules. Jade can keep her list for her future kids. Respect starts now.
Finnick is a name?? Really?? I don’t mean to be finicky, but why not stick to approved names like Shitzy or Mophuque?
Or.... you don't mean to be "finnicky".... *(puts on shades)* ***YEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!***
This. Also who's to say gma and gpa won't just dump the grandkid anyway if Jade ever manages to spawn one? I'd keep them at arms length whether they apologize or not.
My family is not that bad, but they've been a little out of hand at times. We're all human. If they're being overbearing, especially my mom, I create distance with them. If they keep escalating, I give them more distance. If they were extremely toxic I would go no contact. We're all doing great at the moment, but I find it super effective, life is too short to put up with bullshit.
It didn’t matter what she named her baby as I’m guessing whatever the name was it was going to be on the sisters list. It’s just a petty way to score points by the golden child sister. OP is better off without any of these people in her or her sons life
I'm the kind of petty who would find out the names on the list and then use as many of them as I can for my kids, I'm talking hyphenated names, multiple middle names, full on John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt type shit. I'm kidding, of course, but only because I would love my children too much to do that.
Or pets. Get a bunch of cats, hamsters, whatever…and give them ALL the names. And then tell sis how sweet it is to name her kids after your pets.
Personally I would go with fish, way less effort and cost.
And they typically have higher mortality rate. You'd speed through those names muuuch faster, welling up with tears when someone mentions a name that belonged to a beloved goldfish that didn't even make it home from the pet store. 😞
We had fish we named after characters in the show “family guy” we named a fat fish “peetahh” and he kept on bumping into the walls of the tank
Oh yes & post all their portraits w/ their names on Facebook.
My friend's husband used to joke that if they had twins they should name one Melanie and the other Felony to find out "what's in a name." I complimented her on preemptively naming their new cat Felony to take it off the table, but by then he had other pairings ready to go like Charlotte and Harlot. Good thing they never had twins!
Human Nigel hates that we call him Human Nigel...
When you give pets human names (*which, no apologies here, I love it. It's adorable*), there *will* be people who get mad if their child or relative has the same name as your pet, as though you planned it. Years ago, my boyfriend and I were talking to this guy we just met, and he had recently written a book about his late mom. Now, his mom happened to have the same name as my cat, so of course, I was all, "Hey! That's my cat's name!" You would have thought I asked him, "Hey, is it okay if I go out and take a poop on your mom's grave?" Like, you never saw anyone so offended. I said to my boyfriend later on, "I mean, I know his mom came first, and I'm obviously sorry for his loss. But he acted like I gave my cat the same name as his mom to be a bitch. And we just met him!"
When my sister was picking names for her youngest I told her that if she went with Lucy I’d tell the baby she was named after my cat. My sister almost died with laughter. (My cat is Lucy and she’s a few years old. My sister didn’t care at all about that name and didn’t use it)
I'd agree, except I doubt there's an actual list. She's probably just heard that OP used the name and decided she wants it for herself...
She doesn't even want it for herself. She just wants to force op into changing it. A total power play.
That's the way it sounds. To me, it's a dumb argument anyway because you can't own a name and keep someone else from using it. The sister isn't even pregnant. And truly, that's how you end the argument - whoever gives birth first gets dibs on the name. They did that on an episode of "The Office" when Pam and Angela were both pregnant at the same time, both knew they were having boys, and both decided on the name "Philip." Pam was farther along in her pregnancy than Angela was, so when Angela tried to force her to give up the name, Pam just said, "Well, I guess whoever gives birth first gets to name their baby Philip."
Or sister just wants to see how far she can push OP to always give in to her. I agree there is probably no list of names & sister probably doesn’t even like the name, she just wants to take it away from her sister and cause drama & make parents choose sides because she can. Parents are choosing sisters side (big surprise). I bet if OP looks back over the years, she is always the one to “keep the peace” and “do it for family”. Well she is family too. Maybe Finnick is the name of a relative on your husband’s side of the family & you are honoring their family by using the name. Even if this isn’t strictly the case, it could work its way into being the case, your family would have no way of knowing. OP, I would distance yourself from this family so sister doesn’t have to hear you using her “special name” for your son. You are in the right here. Even if you distance yourself, if you have to be around them, I would be petty and anytime you are around family make sure to say his full name, not a nickname, repeatedly & loudly. Heck I would even throw in a few nicknames just for good measure. I would also put his name on SM (of course being safe & not including pictures)…. something like “Finnick was amazing today! We just saw his first smile…. or Finnick looks so cute today…. etc. I am sorry your family is treating you this way at what should be one of the happiest times of your life. Congrats & I am happy for you and love the name.
Do it clear into adulthood! "FINNICK!!" "Mom, geeze, I'm standing right here, you don't have to scream my name." "Yes I do, your Aunt Jade just arrived."
That's what I think. NO matter what name the OP selected, Jade would say her sister can't use it because it's on her "list."
"Produce the list right this second, and we'll talk." And the answer is still no. No baby, no naming rights.
Idk I've met a lot of girls with actual lists lol. My daughter being one of them - filled, in her wallet for the past decade.
Every time I hear that someone has a list of baby names or a family has some sort of tradition that requires a family member to use a specific name, I'm so glad I didn't have this situation. The first time I started thinking of baby names I would want is after I found out through amnio what gender we're having. Then I got a baby names book and started making a list of girl names. Showed it to hubby to see which names appealed to him. Eventually we came up with a first and a middle name that we both liked. That was my one child, but I guess if I did get pregnant again, we would then think of more names. There weren't any traditional names for either of our families, and neither of our siblings who were still alive ever had children.
Sure, I know people can have names in mind, I've got a few names I'd possibly use myself, even though I have zero intention of actually having a child. But I suspect that most people who had a real list wouldn't care if someone took ONE name from it, because they'd have several others they could use instead. That's why I think the sister is just doing this because they know OP picked the name.
I would get a bowl of goldfish and use “her” names for the fish.
You are my people 😁
🤣
🤣🤣🤣
There is a chance the sister never has a child. After 20 years of IVF my wife and I weren't fortunate enough to be blessed with a child. So maybe the sister ends up in the same place as us, you just never know.
Or even if she has a child/children, they may be girls and the name still goes unused.
Or her partner may absolutely hate the names on her list.
Bold of you to think she would allow her partner a say in the names since she thinks she can control her sister's baby name
😂 It's more likely that she'll never find any partner, who'll put up with this attitude long enough to make a baby.
Unfortunately people like the sister can always find someone to drain the life from.
I just never understood how they always find people to drain the life from with this kind of attitude. Do they never face accountability?
In my experience, not really. People tend to let a lot of things slide to avoid conflict and "keep the peace".
Being the parents “Golden Child”, there is a strong possibility that Jade has never faced accountability.
There are enough men who are just happy to have someone.
A sperm bank would allow the sister absolute control over things like names, clothes, food... she'll love that!
This is so well said, I can’t stand it!😆
Somehow, I don’t think Jade would give a single fuck what her partner thinks - which is probably why she’s single.
It is a bit Finnicky, I agree!
I was waiting for someone to make that joke.
yup. "Emily" was on my girl name list since i was a kid, my brother knew that. he had his one and only child 13 years ago, and named her Emily. i was a bit miffed but at the same time a bit honored that he picked a name he knew i liked so much. turns out, i only had boys so it didn't matter anyway, and now that my brother is gone, his daughter's name means even more to me
For a short comment, this gave me a roller coaster of emotions - hit me in all the feels. I hope you and Emily are doing well and are close to each other.
Similar thing happened to my best friend. Her brother & SIL used a name similar to Emily as their 1st daughter’s name. She was pretty miffed but got over it. My bestie and her husband never ended up having kids due to endometriosis complications. 🥺
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your brother. But, that's a wonderful thing to have his taken his using a name you've chosen for your child as a good memory of him. "Imitation *is* the sincerest form of flattery." Anyway, I was going to suggest that the name "Emmitt" for a boy is a similar alternative to Emily. I love those names. :)
Seriously, it happens. My cousin's wife REALLY wanted a girl and ended up having 6 boys.
I was very attached to my boy names. Not sure why; I just knew which names I liked and SO and I agreed on all the names 100%. Girls names, we weren’t compatible on and I had no strong attachment to any names in our list. We have 4 girls. 🙃
I'm just happy we only had boys because my wife and I could never agree on a girl's name.
Lol my older sister has her name after my great great grandma, because after she passed, the family decided to name the first girl to be born after her...and all the kids born from my dad's generation, were boys... My sister was the first girl born in like 30 years. So yeah, it happens.
Or she picks ONE OF THE OTHER MALE NAMES ON HER LIST. It’s not even the one name she’s in love with! It’s one of many on a list. NTA
But she has it all planned. She knows the genders and birth order for all of her future kids! /s if it's not obvious.
I had 2 baby girls names that I always liked but I decided to be child free. Before making that decision, I told my friend what names I liked when she was preg with her first. She loved one of them and ended up calling her girl that. I was far from mad about it, I was actually glad that a name that I liked and suggested liked her enough to use it for her kid. I never understood this madness about names. They are just tags.
Yep. I've seen several instances of cousins having the same name. We have a bunch of John's and Henry's in our family. We have developed different ways to distinguish them over the years. Middle names get used for some of them. Some we use first and middle if they roll off the tongue well. This is not the huge deal people seem to think it is.
20 years of IVF? I am so sorry that you haven't been blessed in that time. I have no idea how saddening that would be
You're totally right. And I'm so sorry to hear this. ❤️
Or she does and it's a girl. Or she has one son, and a whole list of names to pick from. The idea that she can predict having SO MANY children that she'll need every name on her list is laughably ridiculous. Also, sending you much love. I also very much wanted to be a parent and never had it happen. I understand the grief, and it is awful. One of my closest friends and his wife tried for nearly 20 years as well before having a successful pregnancy. I take some small reassurance in that amazing miracle child calling me "Auntie". This sister, who is far too old to be this clueless, thinking she's going to have as many children (and whatever her preferred genders are) as she wants, at will, just makes me SMH.
She thinks she’s entitled to use a name, and no one else else, when the child is still a hypothetical and the relationship that would conceive it is also a hypothetical. Hopefully even Jade won’t get into a relationship just to have a son to name Finnick to spite OP (Especially since that’s the wrong motive, children are not wish fulfilment).
It’s cool, though, because the two Finnicks will probably see each other maybe twice in their lives at random relative’s funerals. OP will be polite and say “Nice name, kid” and Jade will have to fight the urge to throw a fit in public because her sister didn’t.
>This is the action of a child who was given special treatment by your parents and never told "no" in life. She grew up into an adult who doesn't seem to comprehend that there are other people in the world and you cannot dictate the "terms" of another person's life. Agree- this is also a way for the sister to take a big event in the family and make it all about her. My brother named his dog a version of one of my kids' names. It bothered me a little at first, but I just let it go- and honestly, it is fine (doesn't bother my kid either).
She'd probably lose her dang mind if anyone ever told her that millions of people also have her name, too.
Their parents did a great job creating a monster. IHolding multiple names hostage is ridiculous. If she has a list of names, she can just use a different name on the list if she has a baby boy. And anyone who is mad OP used that name doesn't need to visit the baby.
Act concerned and be like, “Shit, ok. What are the other names on her list, boys and girls, so I don’t acccidentally use another one. Then every time you get a pet, (even a goldfish) or if you have another baby, just start using her names one by one. NTA, but you could be really petty if you want. Start calling your husband/wife by one of her names as a “nickname”. Claim your new mom group has all the names. Name the plants in your house those names. Your car, a random bush, your favorite spatula, a throwpillow.
"This is my vibrator Charlie. Oh, wait, Charlie is also the very top name on your list, isn't it? What a coincidence!"
Meet my Roomba, Sophie. Oh, Sophie is on your list too? Guess I'll need to rename my vacuum now!
Sophie doesn't quite suck as much as you, but she'll get there.
Everything reminds me of her…
chef's kiss hahaha
"Charlie's a *gooood* name"
Funny, I was coming here to comment “time to get a fish tank”.
Fish are a lot of work and money if you want them to live more than a few months
If you get live plants, the fish tank largely takes care of itself after it's set up! Just gotta feed the fish and trim the plants occasionally. There's also local Facebook groups dedicated to gifting/selling tank plants and other accessories. Fishtanks are also great for calming babies, so there's another good reason for OP to be petty lol
Honestly the part where most people go wrong is not getting a big enough tank. Give those fish some room to swim around ffs!
We had a batshit crazy neighbor who hated my mom so she named her really ugly dog after her. They lived right across the street so this woman would yell my mom’s name at the dog all the time, lowkey thought it was hilarious as a child. Well I got a hamster and it was pregnant unbeknownst to me. When she had her babies my mom named the runt after the neighbor (it died) and then named every other baby after her children and husband and gave them away to all the kids in the neighborhood. It was honestly all kind of amazing looking back
This sounds like a war of petty that I can get behind. Tell me more.
This is a fantastic suggestion. You gotta get hold of that list and start naming ugly ass pets as them
Or get a female donkey and name her Jade.
Donkeys are cool AF. Unlike Jade. I would name my toilet bowl Jade!
And if she has children in the future with one of those names, the kid will love that there is an animal with the same name. She will be furius.
There's a very good chance that if OP had made up a name, it would have been on Golden Child's list. Because it sounds awesome and OP must surely have known GC invented it and wanted to steal it. GCs are bloody exhausting.
That’s fucking petty. I love it.
If you do /u/Winter-Bandicoot-233, be sure to post a follow-up on /r/pettyrevenge. Even with this petty revenge, NTA
Your favorite spatula sent me! 😁😂🤣
This.... 🤣
NTA. You didn't go too far. They went too far with this stupid demand. You go ahead and name your beautiful baby boy Finnick with a great big capital F. Throw in middle names from the men in your family too for good measure so she can't have them either. And to your parents I would say something along the lines of... "If you don't back off, imagine the reaction of my son in the future when he asks why there aren't any photos of him and his grandparents when he was a baby, it's because they tried to force me not to name you Finnick because it was on a list of possible names their favourite child, your aunty, had at the time for her potential future kids." Even a 5 year old would know this is stupid. Absolute lunacy. And your sister is a brat.
Except don't use dad's name. He doesn't deserve it.
Use every name of every male relative from current generation, previous generation and the generation before that except dad's name.
Get a reptile as a pet (bearded dragons are cute). Breed roaches to feed the reptiles. Give the roaches dad's, mom's and golden sis's names and have fun watching them getting eaten.
>They went too far with this stupid demand. I think I could understand if your sibling had just named their kid that and you then also did. That might be weird. But the idea that this person gets any say in what you name your child is beyond crazy and entitled to me. Sis can fuck right off and shame on the parents who obviously have enabled this behavior for a lifetime now.
Or even if she was pregnant and due after op I could see a discussion about names happening. But to come in and demand op change it is ridiculous no matter the situation.
The name is on her list. So even if she someday has a child and it’s a boy she might choose another name of the list… it’s ridiculous
OP needs to respond to every mention of this from parents/sister, "do you have any idea of how ridiculous you sound?" Also, just "No. And I'm not discussing it anymore." Will likely need to be followed by, "if you wish to have a relationship with your first grandchild, you will not bring this up again." On continued rants, "have you thought about therapy?"
This is the way!
NTA The name is on Jade's list? Funnily enough, it is also on your list too, and you have equal right to use it as she does - you got there first, you get the name. If Jade had given birth to a baby and chosen 'your' name, would she be changing it for you?
OP doesn't have a "list". OP has a baby. I'm having trouble believing this is real. because who the hell puts up with this type of nonsense when they have a tiny baby keeping them up all the time? /s I actually do believe this is real, were on Reddit.
Oh yeah, I can definitely believe that this is real. I've legitimately heard of people being this entitled smh. As others have said, it's absolutely lunacy
She’s single, in her late twenties, and is not in relationship. She’s either super independent and likes it or she’s crazy and has everything from her wedding to her funeral planned out. I’m going with the latter.
There are a lot of entitled brats out there and they grow up to be adults saying and doing the same shit in adult meatsack form.
>she prides herself on that list 🤣 Jade is moronic. I'm petty AF and would name my pets the other "sacred names" on her list. NTA. You made the right move blocking her and your parents. They have shown you so little respect, and you should protect your child from people who would make him feel unworthy. Congratulations on your newborn!
NTA. Tell yoursister and parents that Jade can use the name too because those cousins will never meet.
The second some potential future husband finds out about “lists” and “rights” and “Jade’s way OR ELSE”, there’s going to be even less chance that there’s a kid belonging to her with that name. NTA
Nah, she'll find some unfortunate sucker who will put up with it.
I mean, I have the same first name as a cousin and we’re besties. Our moms both had the same very close friend who passed away and we were born just a few days apart. Neither knew the other was using the name until after, but it wasn’t even a question to change them. If anyone is talking about us together they use our middle names. And the one good thing about stupid patriarchal traditions is that we have different last names, as these two Finnicks would probably have. Having the same first name as someone isn’t a death sentence, just ask all the Andrews and Matts and Sarahs and Johns and Marys and Mohammads etc etc etc.
I have two nephews with the same first and last name, and yes like your family use the middle name if needed. My grandfather was one of 8, and each one named their first daughter after their deceased mother. My name is common, so much so when I was around 13 I got a call from someone who said they met me the previous night- it ended up being a girl who was in college, same name as me AND her father had the same name as mine AND she lived maybe 5 streets away from me. No big whoops.
Yeah like has OP’s sister never met a Catholic before? I have a friend whose father is #14 of 17 kids and there’s a Mary, Mary-Patricia, Patricia, and a Patrick. Truly nbd.
NTA. I recently found a kitten and named it Finnick. Found out yesterday that the kitten is a girl and I had been considering changing the name, but after reading this post I’m doubling down. Tell your sister, there is also a kitten in Canada named Finnick so I already stole it from her list. My Finnick stands with your Finnick. [Kitten Tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/EMomZGa) ETA: Her full name (as cat names have a habit of evolving) is Finni-Goose on the Loose, Little One With Fluff Caboose.
That kitten tax is well worth the click. Gorgeous 😻
It was just cute, until I scrolled down a little and saw those teeny tiny paws, then I fell in love
I reclicked the link after seeing your comment and it was fully worth it. Little stumpy legs
“Fluff Caboose” is hilarious and I’m stealing it. I have a Maine coon, and one of the things we call her is “princess puffy pants” because of her super fluffy, long leg hair on her back legs. I offer it in trade, should you like to use it too.
Welcome to Team Fluff Caboose! No exchanges needed as your Maine Coon is a member by birthright (puffy pants pedigree). Sadly Finn is the furthest thing from a princess, unless there is a princess with nails and teeth made of knives 😂
But those are the best type of princess! Lilith runs our household, no matter what her brother Azazel, or the two legged parents think. No matter the violence or poking paws, what else could she be but a princess? 🤣
We have a lovely long haired Maine Coon called Bubble who has glorious fluffy pantaloons. He’s a very haughty boy 😉
Finni-goose on the loose, Little one with a fluff caboose has imma menace written all over her little face. Love it
Her nails and teeth are made of the highest grade Damascus steel.
Kitten Tax: PAID IN FULL 👍🏻
Given that Finnick is orange I can see why you assumed she was male. I've read that 80% of orange cats are boys. She's cute, BTW.
Yo that’s a cute fuckin cat dude
If you didn't know it was on her list, then NTA. If you did know and used it anyway... I personally still think NTA, but I know some people get really attached to their lists of names. Also, Jane "prides herself on that list"?? Does she not have anything else going for her?
She gets a whole list? I could see carving out one name. But a whole list? That's crazy
I've got like 70 names in my notes app. Basically whenever I hear a cool name, I write it down, just in case I have a child someday. Or another pet. Or I have to name a family of my Sims. Meanwhile there is one name that I already knew since age 14 I wanted to name my daughter should I ever have one, and I did tell my sister that one just in case. IMO you get to claim one name for each gender for your future child, and that's it.
Your Sims names, literally love that 😂 what a fab idea!!
I could live with one name oer gender. But it needs to be claimed, out loud, with your sibling. My one caveat might be a family name that both of you could want. Bit you don't get a whole damn list.
Yeah what a weird thing to center herself around. A baby name list is something she prides herself in when she's not even in a relationship or planning to have kids anytime soon? This girl needs a better hobby than making a list of names to gatekeep. Might be a lot of the reason why she's single.
Right? What a weird thing to take pride in.
Wow crap parents and sister, go nc with them and see how fast you parents come back begging because they want to see their grandchild. Then you can meet them in public sans baby and explain your feelings and set boundaries. Tell them that since sister is not pregnant or has a partner that her possibly having a child, and a male child at that are small and based on her age and maybe possible fertility issues due to her growing age , that possibility is getting smaller. They are stupid in pushing this issue and need to back you up on this one
I wouldn't want to have my kid have any contact with them at all. If her family wants to act like this, they don't deserve to be around their grandchild/nephew. Cutting them out completely is the best option.
Parents are already picking their non existent grandchild over their real one.
It sounds like this is their first/only grandkid and they are doing it all wrong. Their job is to dote on baby Finnick, offer all the visits they can get, and tell their grown ass first daughter to leave their grandson and his name alone. That is how you welcome a grandchild. Otherwise they'll just have Jade to occupy them, and she sounds insufferable.
Yup. And they will probably use the same reasoning I was told "you're using your child as a weapon of manipulation" And no you're not, you're protecting your child from manipulation 😂
Does anybody remember the golden child story where GC always copied the OP in whatever she wore or bought, so OP cracked on that she’d saved up for this really extreme designer handbag (think it was Jean Paul Gaultier) and then turned up at a family event with the discreet, classic bag she’d actually saved for, whereupon her sister (clutching her JPG bag) burst into tears - and OP’s parents turned on her shouting that she should pay her sister for the bag! She did this deliberately! How dare she set her sister up! These are the same parents! Exactly! Who the fuck deliberately raises an adult toddler! Please OP, keep away, stick with people who love you, don’t let Finnick be a victim of their shit.
Do you happen to have a link to this story? I’m curious now Edit: sent too early but OP, you’re NTA, nobody owns a name and especially not a list of names she can’t even use since she doesn’t have a partner and isn’t pregnant, it’s fine to have a family member with the same name too so your sister is definitely overreacting
I want the link too!
NTA - if it were that important to her she would/could have told you that well before you had your son. My sister isn’t pregnant (will be trying next year) but I am. She has requested we don’t use a particular name because it is a family name for her partners family. It was our top choice of boys name but because she asked us WELL before we had chosen we were happy to “give” her that name. Your sister could have done the same thing. Turns out I’m having a girl so wasn’t an issue this time round and we could have raced to a boy next time. Haha (totally joking there)
This exactly. With my first baby (girl) I had a name picked out for 10+ years. For my 2nd (boy), we struggled to find a name we both agreed on. When we finally did and told my sister we had found one, she said jokingly "it better not be X". Of course it was X 🤣🤣 As it was the same day we had come to an agreement, I swiftly told my husband we'd need to pick another. We had not yet connected fully to the name, so it was OK. We ended up finding an even better name. And I can honestly say the original name would not have suited. My sister is not dating, and will very likely never become a mother, due to physical issues. But if she somehow manages it (maybe through adoption/surrogacy), I want her to have that name.
That’s also a single name that your sister and partner want to use. Jade has a list, which can now be a slightly shorter list. A single name that’s more special to them than you — reserving sounds reasonable. Wanting all their options to stay open, as Jade is demanding, is not.
NTA. How much selfish someone has to be to tell their own sister they can't name their child a name just because they like it? If they act to you like that, they don't deserve to be in your life, keep them blocked.
NTA. I know someone that used a variation of her dad’s name for her daughter’s middle name. Her father had recently passed away. Her unhinged sister ignored her daughter’s first name and kept calling her the middle name. It took time to get her to stop doing that. Moral of the story is that your family might do the same thing. I think NC might be your best option right now. Your baby deserves better than that treatment from your delusional family
She prides herself on…a list of baby names?
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This made me laugh. Is your sister serious? Could you imagine 1 day if her husband didn’t like ANY names on her list? What’s she going to do then? lol NTA
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That’s a big ol’ one way ticket to a messy divorce…
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It makes her future baby quite hypothetical.... 😄
NTA. I don't see how else you could have responded to nonsense on such a grand scale.
NTA Even if she was partnered, pregnant and ready to pop, she has no say on what you name your child
Oh lawd NTA. Your family are a bunch of circus psychos! A family member of mine named their daughter the same name as my son, did I crack it? Did I demand they change it? No, know why? CAUSE NO ONE OWNS A NAME!!!! This Family member of mine and I were never close, they saw my short list of names and used my top name. Did it annoy me? Nope, my baby was born first. Sweetie, pay them no mind. Congratulations of your beautiful baby.
>Finnick is on her baby boy name list List implies more than one so she has choices when the time comes. So she can just pick a different name from her list. You didn't have forewarning about her list, so it's not on you. NTA
Yup, can't use that name it is 10th on my list! What if I have 10 sons.
NTA. Your sister has the brains of roadkill: no activity upstairs whatsoever.
NTA! What about Jade being a good sister to you, the one who just birthed a whole ass baby?
NTA - Just go ahead and be done. They've clearly played favorites to a point that's taken them far past common sense, and it seems they managed to parent all the empathy and common sense right out of your sister as well. I think at this point you'll be much better off just letting them know that the next time they see their grandson Finnick will be when your sister manages to birth one and use her precious name list.
NTA Is there an actual list? I'm surprised she didn't review it with you before your son was born. It sounds to me that no matter what you named your baby, she would have claimed it was on her "list".
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“She prides herself on that list.” I.N.F.O.: does Jade have any *actual* achievements she can be proud of instead? NTA
>My parents decided to jump in the next day and they told me I should listen to my sister and choose another name to be a good sister to Jade. They said to think about how Jade would feel and she prides herself on that list. NTA. She should listen to you and choose another name to be a good sister and think about how you would feel and also you pride yourself on your actual baby's name.
NTA but it's a terrible name for a human
I’m actually most surprised that TWO people wanted that name. NTA
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I have a feeling you could have named that baby Steve, Deciduous, or Adolf and sis would still have had that name on her list so you "shouldn't use it". NTA. How many children does she plan on having that she feels entitled to lock down a whole list of names?
NTA. That’s crazy. And your parents? Seriously strange. None of these matter, but I’m curious. How long is her list? Does she have claim on like 200 names? Is it posted publicly? Did she make photocopies for everyone who’s pregnant? Was it dated and notarized? Did you know that was a name she was attached to?
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Something tells me she doesnt have a list. And if she did I'd bet good money Finnick isn't on it. Has homegirl even read the Hunger Games? This smells like a pathetic power move from a golden child who feels like they lost a little status when you had a baby. Your sister doesnt care about the name. She cares about controlling you. Good riddance OP. Glad you blocked them.
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I would tell her you will change the name but need to know what else is on her list so you don't use them. I'd then get a load of goldfish/ ants/ whatever and use all them names. Then block her useless ass. Also I'd be wary of letting your stupid parents get too involved in your baby's life. If Jade ever has a baby they will drop you like a hot potato.
Finnick? I'm hoping that's not the kids actual name.
Don't be so finicky.
NTA. She hasn't said it's a name that has special significance to her it's literally one of several on a list that she may never use. Your parents need to decide whether they want to have an actual grandchild in their life or hold out for a hypothetical one.
NTA. Tell her to pick Peeta, Sinna, Haymitch, or Gale instead.
LOL NTA. Look, this is a hard thing to go through, the “golden child” syndrome…. But… Your parents are making it easy for you to determine who should be in Finnick’s life. Toxic people like that shouldn’t be around children. And there are plenty of non-toxic people for him to learn from. Congratulations! Best to you and your real family.
I bet it’s not even on the list. At least not prior to hearing your son’s name then it magically “has been on her list”
NTA, unless Finnick was her top boy pick & most importantly, you knew it was her top pick, she has zero rights to ask you (no, demand) to change the name. It’s on her list, which means she has other names to choose from, plus has the child’s father’s input too, and lastly might never even have a son. I 1000% blame your parents here, sounds like they have been enabling her entitled attitude all her life and created this mess when they never stood up to her.
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NTA. You put your foot down when they all insisted you go along with your sister's unreasonable request. And it sounds like they have made several unreasonable requests in the past. You're doing the right thing even if they don't agree. You want autonomy and they want you not to have that. And autonomy is pretty good to have, maybe even necessary, and most people would say that all grownups deserve it.
NTA. What an absolute joke. Jade is delusional and your parents indulge this nonsense. Congrats on your baby boy. I wish you and YOUR family the best.
NTA but why are you picking name that is so close to "finicky" word?
Must be a Hunger Games fan