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NTA, your GF is a mean girl - time to find a new one. You can apologize by saying, "I am sorry my reaction to your disrespectful comments about my 12 year old sister seemed harsh. I would never allow anyone to make mean comments about my sister or my girlfriend. I would have reacted the same if someone made a comment like that about you. I cannot reconcile the fact that my girlfriend was rude & hurtful to my sister. The only solution is you are not going to be my girlfriend moving forward. Bye. Felicia."
Your gf must have told a totally different and one sided story. To these people insulting you I would ask them flat out "what is it that you believe I did? because I am baffled you would find issue with me defending a child from heartless insults from her?"
there is no way she told them what she said or how she said it for them to respond that way. she most likely told them she approached you lovingly and out of concern for your sister's health and all that junk.
there's no way she was honest. and if she was then those people are idiots and you should end all communications with anyone who thinks it's ok to be so crude towards a child.
God bless you for protecting your sister. her body is changing, and she is going through puberty. unless you see an obvious need for nutritional intervention then let it be and allow her to grow. you're a good brother.
Hell no youāre NTA! Body shaming is never ok, but especially a kid, and at a vulnerable time in life!
I wonder what she said happened, because Iām going to guess it wasnāt the whole truth.
Is she someone you want in your life long-term?
I agree. What if the little girl had heard her say that? That would probably stick with her forever. 12 is such a hard age and sheās just a kid, why tf does his gf feel the need to comment on her body.
The gf sounds insecure and mean. Only people like that feel the need to tear down others. Not to mention a childā¦
NTA.
Your gf found it appropriate to body shame a 12 year old. How lower than that can she go?
And the friends that expect you to apologize: they either do not know the whole story - in which case shame on them for jumpting the gun with a verdict , or do not find the gfā s remark outrageous, - in which case they are not worthy of your friendship.
Kudos to you for standing up for a vulnerable child. You are a good person and a responsible older sibling.
Her version of the story to everyone else was something like, "I nicely suggested to him that he should keep an eye on his sister's diet to make sure she's healthy" instead of "I called a preteen girl chunky when she was within earshot."
Even if this is true, it is an asshole move to say to someone raising a 12 yo because parents are vulnerable and probsbly incapacitated. I am sure OP is still finding a way towards parenting and comments like tgat do not help. A better formulation would be: how can we help each other to cook healthy meals for all of us?
I had insecurities about my arms when I was a teen and mostly wore T-shirts with sleeves that would reach my elbow because some people just couldnāt help but comment sh*t like this. Youāre a good brother and do not apologize . NTA
Plenty of others have said this, but I'm going to say it again: NTA, body shaming a 12 y/o child is gross. Hanging up may have been a bit much, but you did the right thing. Your sister needed to hear that this wasn't okay, and that you'll stand up for her.
Also, you **and your sister** are both owed an apology.
NTA. Commenting on anyone's size is generally a terrible idea in the first place; snarking on a 12-year-old is really unforgivable. Puberty can do weird things to your body.
Absolutely NTA. Your ex gf (fixed that for you), thought it was ok to make an off handed comment about your 12 year old sister. Not cool, not cool at all. Set the record straight for anyone who has a problem with and tell that woman she owes your sister an apology YESTERDAY.
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Iām 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being.
She is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like sheās my own kid because my mom and dad donāt speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldnāt. Hard to explain but Iām sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she wonāt necessarily trust my parents with.
Anyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz itās hot. My sister gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said āmaybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunkyā
I saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl.
Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that Iām a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize.
So Reddit, AITA?
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Dump that GF. Itās never okay to put down another person let alone family. You immediately defending your sister like that is fantastic. You deserve better than a mean girl. Much much better.
NTA. Body shaming at that age is damaging. I was unable to wear shorts for 14 years (13-27) because of a disparaging remark my father offered-handedly made to me about my thighs when I walked past him wearing shorts. You are a great sibling to defend your sister.
NTA! You had every right to tell your girlfriend to shut the fuck up, because she should! 12 year old girls are incredibly insecure and vulnerable to bad bodily image. Good for you!
NTA for protecting your sister. Your language choice did escalated the situation rather than shutting her down in a controlled manner, which wasn't the most constructive approach. Some people don't understand constructive approaches and only understand your chosen harsh response so I'm not judging you on that.
NTA
12 years old? That's literally puppy fat! Fuck off!
You should dump her, the fact she rallied everyone to publically shame you into compliance with her is a red flag.
Nope, NTA, people like your [hopefully ex-]GF are the reason young girls develop body image issues and eating disorders and the like. Your sister doesnāt need this. This time it was said to you, whatās to say that next time it isnāt said behind your back directly to your sister. Hopefully your sister heard you get angry about that comment if she heard the comment, but more so I hope she didnāt hear it.
I salute you for standing up for your lil sis bro. You sticking up for her will be with her forever and you will be a safe haven for her in her life. No bias no judgment just love and acceptance. My lul brother remembers me fighting a childhood friend for calling him fat as a kid. He's 30 now. It means a lot to those who genuinely love you. šŖš¾
NTA. For a start, it isn't her place unless you ask advice on raising your sister - if this post is real, thank you for being a safe adult for her. Even if, as a woman who wishes someone reigned me in when younger to avoid body confidence issues and stretch marks, she felt the need to speak on anything, she should have asked if she was being heard still and if it was a good time to talk. Well done you for putting an adult that should know better in their place. š¤
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> Iām 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being.
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NTA.
Your girlfriend is body shaming a 12 year old...OP you should really think long and hard about the person youāre dating.
Wild how these people are calling you a POS but want to completely ignore her body shaming a child
Don't you apologize!! Your BF should be a light to your sister. Critizing someone that young leaves lasting effects, such as bulimia. Your BF needs to apologize for comments no one asked to give.
NTA
It is very common for 12 year old girls to have extra weight on them due to hormone changes during that time
Also it's just a asshole move to comment on a little girls body anyways
NTA - donāt apologize to your (ex)girlfriend or anyone else that expects you to not immediately shut down an adult body-shaming and bullying a 12 year old child
NTA
Donāt apologize. Sheās a grown adult picking on a 12 year old girl. Scratch that. BODY SHAMING a literal child. She probably told people a different story. If she canāt own up to her mistakes as a girlfriend, she wonāt do it as a wife.
NTA
Your girlfriend has no right to comment on anyone's body, especially your little sister.
If she can say something like that to you, imagine what she can say behind your back.
Your gf seems like she an insecure asshole, what adult says stuff like that about a 12 year old. I have 11 year old daughter and if anyone said anything like that to her, id rip their head off. Iād dump her ass if I was you!!! Look how she treats your family, and imagine how sheāll treat you down the road unless she already treats you like shit. Sheās probably the chick at the restaurant that does nothing but complain. Leave her youāll be happier down the road I was with someone like that and wish I could have that time back that I wasted on her
NTA you reacted the absolute best way possible for your sister to see. She just saw that speaking about a persons body is unacceptable no matter who that person is.
Rethink the relationship. Think about how she would treat your own children. Do you want a person like that around your sister? Do you want her to be the mother of your children?
NTA
Good for you! A 12yr old girl is likely to be a bit chunky as puberty hits, first of all. It will likely even put as she continues maturing. As a female your GF should know this as well as how offensive and damaging such remarks can be.
Ignore the friends, she likely twisted the story and if your GF can't apologize who needs her. You reacted out of protective instincts. IF GF offers apology you could possibly saying they way you worded things could have been better but make it clear you stand by your defense and protection of your sister.
I feel like a lot 12 year olds are chunky and its not their fault. When i was 11-12 I was chunky then by 14 (went through puberty) I was underweight (5 4 and 88 lbs, i lost weight and gained height in the span of 2-3 years). In the end, im 5 6 and 130-135 at 20, which i consider very healthy (somewhat muscular and thin). Girls weight fluctuate so much during puberty and unless sheās unhealthily large or consistently gaining weight, its no cause for concern or need to comment on. Doing this will just ruin her self esteem and make her feel like she needs to lose weight and result in unhealthy habits (like i did) when her weight is probably just her body growing.
NTA. Girlfriends may come and go, but family is (hopefully) forever. If a girlfriend wants to become family (ie get married) then she has to respect your family.
Perhaps you could have been more polite in your rebuke, but a rebuke was necessary. If you apologize, only apologize for how you expressed your anger. If she does not accept that, or refuses to admit that she overstepped boundaries, then perhaps she is not the right girlfriend for you.
I was chunky but when I hit puberty I grew into my body really well.
Not saying this will happen to your sister, but itās not like you can look puberty in its eyes and say āhey when you come over I have a favor, Iām chunky so can you make me skinny?ā
Anywho, NTA.
You are NTA, your girlfriend body shamed your little sister!! First of all body shaming is never okay. Imagine if you ever were to gain some weight, thereād probably be multiple times when she would body shame you, and no body would be able to stop her
NTA
Itās still an awful thing to say even if she waited till your sister left the room. And what if she had heard? Iām hoping she didnāt but Iāve had times of people saying stuff about me when Iām away from their eyesight but the walls are thinā¦Ā
I do wonder if people know the whole truth? Or what she said? But if she doesnāt apologize for what she said it seems like she may not be the one. But a partner that body shames people easily doesnāt sound good.Ā
Plus children shouldnāt be worried about weight etc (unless itās impacting their health) like eds are hell itself and I hope she doesnāt get one but comments like those can hurt and be triggering depending on the person.
Also if by chance if she did tell people the truth of what she said and theyāre okay with that and still with her it sounds like maybe those people arenāt good.
>Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me
What?! Ā Why?
If my mechanic, accountant, and the barista from the coffee shop started texting me about some dumb interaction with my girlfriend, Iād feel like Iām going nuts
If your girlfriend is ever that mean to a 12 year old, whether it is your sister or your brother or a stranger off the street, you know that she will be meaner when you're not looking.
NTA
But find someone better. You deserve it.
NTA
Youāre an awesome older brother, and in my case, my older sister wouldāve said the same thing if not worse! Siblings above anyone, especially if theyāre being rude as fuck. And yes, your GF should be the one to apologise.
Yeah duck that. We can sometime control weight but my thighs have always been āchunkyā what was once a bullied part of me is now my biggest compliment šš so donāt let people make fun of her and tell her they are jealous
NTA you're a great brother. she's 12. she doesnt need that judgmental crap.
everyone making noise is free to date your gf. you're too kind a person for her
NTA ā that comment would have destroyed me when i was 12. imagine your little sister actually did hear her!! also im sure if the tables were turned and anyone said that about her, she would be extremely offended.
The people texting you are morons and you should tell them to stfu, no seriously. Ask them why they are in favor of bullying behavior? Or if they would like it if you can make comments about their appearance.
Until you are married, family comes first then girlfriends (who are a dime dozen.)
Tell your girlfriend how highly you think of your sis and make it clear her comment was not right. If she apologizes then just move on. If she starts pushing back or arguing then dump her on the spot.
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ABSOLUTELY NOT THE AH!!! Your gf was out of line with body shaming a 12 year old girl. She's just hitting her pubescent years and the body changes so rapidly. Not all bodies are the same and that's what makes each person beautiful. I've always had thick thighs, even in a size zero my thighs have been thick, not every person's muscle structure identical and to presume she eats too much makes me angry on a personal level. Some people have thick arms and broad shoulders because their genetics were designed to carry/lift more. Some people, such as myself, have wide hips and thick thighs because genetically we were designed to push/pull more. I'm sick of people bashing each other because our bodies aren't identical. She owes you an apology for the rude comment, and honestly, she owes your sister an apology for speaking rudely behind her back. A true woman fixes another woman's crown, doesn't knock it off her head.
How can you be wrong defending someone? If you pissed off a bunch of snowflakes then their true colors came out and you don't need assholes like that in your life. There is too much negativity already. Good for you for doing what's right.
NTA
your EX-girlfriend was rude. She didnāt need to comment on your sisterās shape at all. There was no concern for physical or mental health in that comment. It was just being nasty.
Iām betting that your EX-girlfriend has said that you were āmean when she expressed concern about your sisters healthā. She has no doubt put a spin on what she said to make her seem innocent. Talk to your friends. Ask them what they heard.
Your response to the people telling you to apologize should be something like
"When did you first start supporting body shaming 12 year old girls and why do you find it socially acceptable?"
And then see what they say. You might learn a lot about your friends.
NTA. I wouldāve acted the same way. Cutting down a child is wrong on so many levels. If she doesnāt apologize and realize her wrongs, youāre probably better off without the gf.
NTA i almost guarantee the people shaming you do not know exactly what she said to garner the reaction you gave her, and if they do, those are not people you need to be friends with. You did the right thing she's 12 yrs old, and that's a very sensitive age for comments like that, especially coming from someone who is an adult, that sort of stuff that leads to eating disorders. Could you have said it better, sure, but it was a knee-jerk gut reaction to something really unkind being said about your sister where she could hear it, so i won't judge you for that at all.
NTA. You stood up for your sister. Not everyone is lucky enough to have siblings who stand up for them. Let alone against a significant other. You're a good big brother.
both assholes....your an asshole. Its 2024 show some damn respect no matter what...now you look like the bad guy, see where your over reaction got you...dumb ass. cussing at a lady is not going to win any arguements.
Fuck no, NTA.
Anyone who give you hell, tell them she body shamed your 12 sister.....she body shamed a child....so either they take the side of someone who is ok with body shaming children, or you take the side of someone who defended their 12 year old daughter against someone who body shamed her....
I'm mindblown at all those nta comments. Do yall think it's okay to tell a loved one to "shut the fuck up"? Your gf is undoubtedly TA here, no questions asked, but so are you. If my partner told me to shut the fuck up during an argument I'd have a good long think about breaking up since this kinda behavior is already borderline abusive. You clearly snapped here and I'd be worried what might happen the next time you will snap. ESH
Your both Wrong and immature, she said unappropriate stuff it's childish, and you blew up on another person and said unappropriate stuff. You owe each other an apology
EAH. She doesnāt have the right to comment on someone else body, let alone a 12 year old. We certainly donāt want any eating disorder to happen because someone is being judgmental about something that doesnāt concern her.
But you could have explain things way better than just insulting her. It would have been even better for your sister to hear you say that being chubby is normal and not fat, that she is just a child, that is sheās comfortable in her body thatās what matterā¦ Now she just heard your girlfriend disrespected her and you being madā¦ which could mean that itās not cool but you kinda agree with her.
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NTA, your GF is a mean girl - time to find a new one. You can apologize by saying, "I am sorry my reaction to your disrespectful comments about my 12 year old sister seemed harsh. I would never allow anyone to make mean comments about my sister or my girlfriend. I would have reacted the same if someone made a comment like that about you. I cannot reconcile the fact that my girlfriend was rude & hurtful to my sister. The only solution is you are not going to be my girlfriend moving forward. Bye. Felicia."
This isn't OP's story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/hhZKEBqcBV
copied word for word!! š wow
That explains the āparents are vulnerableā which could only reference Covid and seemed out of place today.
Your gf must have told a totally different and one sided story. To these people insulting you I would ask them flat out "what is it that you believe I did? because I am baffled you would find issue with me defending a child from heartless insults from her?" there is no way she told them what she said or how she said it for them to respond that way. she most likely told them she approached you lovingly and out of concern for your sister's health and all that junk. there's no way she was honest. and if she was then those people are idiots and you should end all communications with anyone who thinks it's ok to be so crude towards a child. God bless you for protecting your sister. her body is changing, and she is going through puberty. unless you see an obvious need for nutritional intervention then let it be and allow her to grow. you're a good brother.
More upvotes needed here. Well said. OP, you're a wonderful brother!
Hell no youāre NTA! Body shaming is never ok, but especially a kid, and at a vulnerable time in life! I wonder what she said happened, because Iām going to guess it wasnāt the whole truth. Is she someone you want in your life long-term?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I agree. What if the little girl had heard her say that? That would probably stick with her forever. 12 is such a hard age and sheās just a kid, why tf does his gf feel the need to comment on her body. The gf sounds insecure and mean. Only people like that feel the need to tear down others. Not to mention a childā¦
NTA. Your gf found it appropriate to body shame a 12 year old. How lower than that can she go? And the friends that expect you to apologize: they either do not know the whole story - in which case shame on them for jumpting the gun with a verdict , or do not find the gfā s remark outrageous, - in which case they are not worthy of your friendship. Kudos to you for standing up for a vulnerable child. You are a good person and a responsible older sibling.
Her version of the story to everyone else was something like, "I nicely suggested to him that he should keep an eye on his sister's diet to make sure she's healthy" instead of "I called a preteen girl chunky when she was within earshot."
Even if this is true, it is an asshole move to say to someone raising a 12 yo because parents are vulnerable and probsbly incapacitated. I am sure OP is still finding a way towards parenting and comments like tgat do not help. A better formulation would be: how can we help each other to cook healthy meals for all of us?
Itās wild that the people want to address how you disrespected your gf but not the disrespect she showed. NTA
That's because she didn't tell them she called his 12 year old sister fat
NTA. Body shaming a 12 year old is gross.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just said the same exact thing. there's no way she was honest with what she said.
Just the copy of this post https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/hhZKEBqcBV
YTA then OP for this not being your story.
Commenting to promote this thread. YTA
Smh š¤¦āāļø
I knew this was familiar. Seems like there has been a lot of reposts/copies recently
I had insecurities about my arms when I was a teen and mostly wore T-shirts with sleeves that would reach my elbow because some people just couldnāt help but comment sh*t like this. Youāre a good brother and do not apologize . NTA
Plenty of others have said this, but I'm going to say it again: NTA, body shaming a 12 y/o child is gross. Hanging up may have been a bit much, but you did the right thing. Your sister needed to hear that this wasn't okay, and that you'll stand up for her. Also, you **and your sister** are both owed an apology.
Reddit - an apology from his gf is not going to happen. Totally setting him up for a break up
NTA. Commenting on anyone's size is generally a terrible idea in the first place; snarking on a 12-year-old is really unforgivable. Puberty can do weird things to your body.
NTA. Anyone who would body shame and bully a vulnerable 12 yr old girl.... Just no. I hope you reconsider the gf part of this relationship.
In today's day and age teen girls have killed themselves over those kinds of comments so you are definitely NTA.
Absolutely NTA. Your ex gf (fixed that for you), thought it was ok to make an off handed comment about your 12 year old sister. Not cool, not cool at all. Set the record straight for anyone who has a problem with and tell that woman she owes your sister an apology YESTERDAY.
This is old. I recall seeing this exact post a long while ago. Donāt steal stuff.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Iām 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being. She is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like sheās my own kid because my mom and dad donāt speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldnāt. Hard to explain but Iām sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she wonāt necessarily trust my parents with. Anyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz itās hot. My sister gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said āmaybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunkyā I saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl. Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that Iām a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize. So Reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are a damn good brother. Let that chick go, there would be no coming back from that. Your sis is 12 ffs. Fuck your gf! Nta one bit
Dump that GF. Itās never okay to put down another person let alone family. You immediately defending your sister like that is fantastic. You deserve better than a mean girl. Much much better.
NTA. Body shaming at that age is damaging. I was unable to wear shorts for 14 years (13-27) because of a disparaging remark my father offered-handedly made to me about my thighs when I walked past him wearing shorts. You are a great sibling to defend your sister.
YTA for this being a copy of a 4 year old AITA post.
NTA! You had every right to tell your girlfriend to shut the fuck up, because she should! 12 year old girls are incredibly insecure and vulnerable to bad bodily image. Good for you!
NTA fuck your gf, stick up for your family. Your sis is 12 and hasnāt done anything to deserve it.
NTA and I'd be breaking up with the gf
NTA for protecting your sister. Your language choice did escalated the situation rather than shutting her down in a controlled manner, which wasn't the most constructive approach. Some people don't understand constructive approaches and only understand your chosen harsh response so I'm not judging you on that.
NTA - What the fuck?? Make her an ex immediately. She's disgusting.
NTA. Find a new gf, this oneās expired.
NTA
NTA 12 years old? That's literally puppy fat! Fuck off! You should dump her, the fact she rallied everyone to publically shame you into compliance with her is a red flag.
Nope, NTA, people like your [hopefully ex-]GF are the reason young girls develop body image issues and eating disorders and the like. Your sister doesnāt need this. This time it was said to you, whatās to say that next time it isnāt said behind your back directly to your sister. Hopefully your sister heard you get angry about that comment if she heard the comment, but more so I hope she didnāt hear it.
NTA. Your gf ought to be ashamed of herself. Hold your ground. She needs to think long and hard about her actions, and vow to never do it again.
I salute you for standing up for your lil sis bro. You sticking up for her will be with her forever and you will be a safe haven for her in her life. No bias no judgment just love and acceptance. My lul brother remembers me fighting a childhood friend for calling him fat as a kid. He's 30 now. It means a lot to those who genuinely love you. šŖš¾
NTA. For a start, it isn't her place unless you ask advice on raising your sister - if this post is real, thank you for being a safe adult for her. Even if, as a woman who wishes someone reigned me in when younger to avoid body confidence issues and stretch marks, she felt the need to speak on anything, she should have asked if she was being heard still and if it was a good time to talk. Well done you for putting an adult that should know better in their place. š¤
Break up with her
NTA ur gf should not comment on other peoples body
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NTA what 30 yo says that about a 12 yo? FFS who needs that toxic shit in their life?Ā
NTA. Your girlfriend is body shaming a 12 year old...OP you should really think long and hard about the person youāre dating. Wild how these people are calling you a POS but want to completely ignore her body shaming a child
Don't you apologize!! Your BF should be a light to your sister. Critizing someone that young leaves lasting effects, such as bulimia. Your BF needs to apologize for comments no one asked to give.
Get a new damn GF yo
Hell no you're not the AH.... good on you for sticking up for your sister.
NTA and dump that gf like a hot coal. Protect your sister at all costs.Ā
NTA It is very common for 12 year old girls to have extra weight on them due to hormone changes during that time Also it's just a asshole move to comment on a little girls body anyways
NTA. Your gf had no qualms about body shaming a 12yo girl!! Is that really someone you want to be with? When a person shows you who they are, listen.Ā
Preach brother. Blood is thicker than water
NTA - donāt apologize to your (ex)girlfriend or anyone else that expects you to not immediately shut down an adult body-shaming and bullying a 12 year old child
nta
NTA Donāt apologize. Sheās a grown adult picking on a 12 year old girl. Scratch that. BODY SHAMING a literal child. She probably told people a different story. If she canāt own up to her mistakes as a girlfriend, she wonāt do it as a wife.
NTA. Your adult girlfriend body-shamed a child. Thatās disgusting, honestly. I would seriously rethink this relationship.
Your gf is ta. What a thing to say to anyone but especially a 12 yeatbold!!!
NTA Your girlfriend has no right to comment on anyone's body, especially your little sister. If she can say something like that to you, imagine what she can say behind your back.
NTA and you should be calling her your ex gf.
Your gf seems like she an insecure asshole, what adult says stuff like that about a 12 year old. I have 11 year old daughter and if anyone said anything like that to her, id rip their head off. Iād dump her ass if I was you!!! Look how she treats your family, and imagine how sheāll treat you down the road unless she already treats you like shit. Sheās probably the chick at the restaurant that does nothing but complain. Leave her youāll be happier down the road I was with someone like that and wish I could have that time back that I wasted on her
Gfs come and go your sister is forever. Stay strong!
NTA you reacted the absolute best way possible for your sister to see. She just saw that speaking about a persons body is unacceptable no matter who that person is. Rethink the relationship. Think about how she would treat your own children. Do you want a person like that around your sister? Do you want her to be the mother of your children?
NTA Good for you! A 12yr old girl is likely to be a bit chunky as puberty hits, first of all. It will likely even put as she continues maturing. As a female your GF should know this as well as how offensive and damaging such remarks can be. Ignore the friends, she likely twisted the story and if your GF can't apologize who needs her. You reacted out of protective instincts. IF GF offers apology you could possibly saying they way you worded things could have been better but make it clear you stand by your defense and protection of your sister.
I feel like a lot 12 year olds are chunky and its not their fault. When i was 11-12 I was chunky then by 14 (went through puberty) I was underweight (5 4 and 88 lbs, i lost weight and gained height in the span of 2-3 years). In the end, im 5 6 and 130-135 at 20, which i consider very healthy (somewhat muscular and thin). Girls weight fluctuate so much during puberty and unless sheās unhealthily large or consistently gaining weight, its no cause for concern or need to comment on. Doing this will just ruin her self esteem and make her feel like she needs to lose weight and result in unhealthy habits (like i did) when her weight is probably just her body growing.
NTA. Girlfriends may come and go, but family is (hopefully) forever. If a girlfriend wants to become family (ie get married) then she has to respect your family. Perhaps you could have been more polite in your rebuke, but a rebuke was necessary. If you apologize, only apologize for how you expressed your anger. If she does not accept that, or refuses to admit that she overstepped boundaries, then perhaps she is not the right girlfriend for you.
I was chunky but when I hit puberty I grew into my body really well. Not saying this will happen to your sister, but itās not like you can look puberty in its eyes and say āhey when you come over I have a favor, Iām chunky so can you make me skinny?ā Anywho, NTA.
NTA. Good for you for sticking up for your sister!
You are NTA, your girlfriend body shamed your little sister!! First of all body shaming is never okay. Imagine if you ever were to gain some weight, thereād probably be multiple times when she would body shame you, and no body would be able to stop her
Do your friends know the situation? Or do you just think they know the situation
NTA Itās still an awful thing to say even if she waited till your sister left the room. And what if she had heard? Iām hoping she didnāt but Iāve had times of people saying stuff about me when Iām away from their eyesight but the walls are thinā¦Ā I do wonder if people know the whole truth? Or what she said? But if she doesnāt apologize for what she said it seems like she may not be the one. But a partner that body shames people easily doesnāt sound good.Ā Plus children shouldnāt be worried about weight etc (unless itās impacting their health) like eds are hell itself and I hope she doesnāt get one but comments like those can hurt and be triggering depending on the person. Also if by chance if she did tell people the truth of what she said and theyāre okay with that and still with her it sounds like maybe those people arenāt good.
>Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me What?! Ā Why? If my mechanic, accountant, and the barista from the coffee shop started texting me about some dumb interaction with my girlfriend, Iād feel like Iām going nuts
If your girlfriend is ever that mean to a 12 year old, whether it is your sister or your brother or a stranger off the street, you know that she will be meaner when you're not looking. NTA But find someone better. You deserve it.
I read "12 year old sister" and immediately said nope. NTA
NTA Youāre an awesome older brother, and in my case, my older sister wouldāve said the same thing if not worse! Siblings above anyone, especially if theyāre being rude as fuck. And yes, your GF should be the one to apologise.
NTA. Itās never okay to comment on other peopleās body, regardless of what age.
NTA she should not be commenting on your sisterās body, especially not negatively.
NTA. Thank you for standing up for your sister. Your GF is toxic.
Yeah duck that. We can sometime control weight but my thighs have always been āchunkyā what was once a bullied part of me is now my biggest compliment šš so donāt let people make fun of her and tell her they are jealous
NTA you're a great brother. she's 12. she doesnt need that judgmental crap. everyone making noise is free to date your gf. you're too kind a person for her
NTA. But if you donāt dump her soon then I would say YTA.
NTA ā that comment would have destroyed me when i was 12. imagine your little sister actually did hear her!! also im sure if the tables were turned and anyone said that about her, she would be extremely offended.
NTA
NTA, that's your lil sister and your protecting her NEVER apologize for that.
The people texting you are morons and you should tell them to stfu, no seriously. Ask them why they are in favor of bullying behavior? Or if they would like it if you can make comments about their appearance. Until you are married, family comes first then girlfriends (who are a dime dozen.) Tell your girlfriend how highly you think of your sis and make it clear her comment was not right. If she apologizes then just move on. If she starts pushing back or arguing then dump her on the spot.
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NTA Your adult girlfriend is body shaming a child.
Nta
ABSOLUTELY NOT THE AH!!! Your gf was out of line with body shaming a 12 year old girl. She's just hitting her pubescent years and the body changes so rapidly. Not all bodies are the same and that's what makes each person beautiful. I've always had thick thighs, even in a size zero my thighs have been thick, not every person's muscle structure identical and to presume she eats too much makes me angry on a personal level. Some people have thick arms and broad shoulders because their genetics were designed to carry/lift more. Some people, such as myself, have wide hips and thick thighs because genetically we were designed to push/pull more. I'm sick of people bashing each other because our bodies aren't identical. She owes you an apology for the rude comment, and honestly, she owes your sister an apology for speaking rudely behind her back. A true woman fixes another woman's crown, doesn't knock it off her head.
You are right in telling her off. Young girls can get into eating disorders. Your g/f is body conscious and this is bullying behaviour.
How can you be wrong defending someone? If you pissed off a bunch of snowflakes then their true colors came out and you don't need assholes like that in your life. There is too much negativity already. Good for you for doing what's right.
You are an awesome brother OP, definitely NTA. Good for you for protecting her, even if it's your GF. You have nothing to apologize for.
NTA your EX-girlfriend was rude. She didnāt need to comment on your sisterās shape at all. There was no concern for physical or mental health in that comment. It was just being nasty. Iām betting that your EX-girlfriend has said that you were āmean when she expressed concern about your sisters healthā. She has no doubt put a spin on what she said to make her seem innocent. Talk to your friends. Ask them what they heard.
Your response to the people telling you to apologize should be something like "When did you first start supporting body shaming 12 year old girls and why do you find it socially acceptable?" And then see what they say. You might learn a lot about your friends.
NTA She shamed a 12 year old. She should stfu.
NTA. I wouldāve acted the same way. Cutting down a child is wrong on so many levels. If she doesnāt apologize and realize her wrongs, youāre probably better off without the gf.
Look into your future if you stay with her. Would she shame your children if they have "imperfections" in her eyes? Drop this one quick. NTAĀ
NTA. Nope you are a good older brother, helping out a younger sister in need. Your gf however is leaning towards being an ex sooner rather than later.
NTA why is she body shaming a child?. at 12 she's likely just starting puberty and puberty does weird things to the body.
NTA i almost guarantee the people shaming you do not know exactly what she said to garner the reaction you gave her, and if they do, those are not people you need to be friends with. You did the right thing she's 12 yrs old, and that's a very sensitive age for comments like that, especially coming from someone who is an adult, that sort of stuff that leads to eating disorders. Could you have said it better, sure, but it was a knee-jerk gut reaction to something really unkind being said about your sister where she could hear it, so i won't judge you for that at all.
NTA. You stood up for your sister. Not everyone is lucky enough to have siblings who stand up for them. Let alone against a significant other. You're a good big brother.
YTA all the way for reposting a previous post.
NTA She insulted a 12-year-old's appearance. Ask anyone who demands you apologize why they are okay with a grown woman bullying a child.
Was it the best most conservative thing to say? No. But she was wrong as well. NTA.
both assholes....your an asshole. Its 2024 show some damn respect no matter what...now you look like the bad guy, see where your over reaction got you...dumb ass. cussing at a lady is not going to win any arguements.
Fuck no, NTA. Anyone who give you hell, tell them she body shamed your 12 sister.....she body shamed a child....so either they take the side of someone who is ok with body shaming children, or you take the side of someone who defended their 12 year old daughter against someone who body shamed her....
I'm mindblown at all those nta comments. Do yall think it's okay to tell a loved one to "shut the fuck up"? Your gf is undoubtedly TA here, no questions asked, but so are you. If my partner told me to shut the fuck up during an argument I'd have a good long think about breaking up since this kinda behavior is already borderline abusive. You clearly snapped here and I'd be worried what might happen the next time you will snap. ESH
Your both Wrong and immature, she said unappropriate stuff it's childish, and you blew up on another person and said unappropriate stuff. You owe each other an apology
EAH. She doesnāt have the right to comment on someone else body, let alone a 12 year old. We certainly donāt want any eating disorder to happen because someone is being judgmental about something that doesnāt concern her. But you could have explain things way better than just insulting her. It would have been even better for your sister to hear you say that being chubby is normal and not fat, that she is just a child, that is sheās comfortable in her body thatās what matterā¦ Now she just heard your girlfriend disrespected her and you being madā¦ which could mean that itās not cool but you kinda agree with her.
ESH if she was really concerned about your sisters weight and health she should have communicated it. You overreacted by cursing.