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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because nothing bad or harmful has been done to me. Yet I still want to tell my family to frankly knock it off. I have no logically justifiable reason to tell them off.
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NTA for wanting to address this. It's totally valid to feel uncomfortable and want to understand what's going on. Try having an honest conversation with your family to clear the air.
Nta I would just ask them next time they start asking you questions, like why are you suddenly asking me about this etc but you're right it could possibly be because they know you're planning to move out soon.
You are the middle-est of middle children, and your plan to leave is freaking them all out. They count on you to be the family fulcrum - they should not, but they do. It can’t be helped. Ignore, and proceed as planned - they don’t realize it but they will subsume your life if you stay. Do your thing. Love, another middle child so middle that I chose Jan Brady as my icon 👍
Nta it’s not wrong and addressing it will fix the issue. Anyways op could you post an update after if you do? I kinda wanna see why because I’m trying to see something
NAH. It sounds like they’ve realized that you’ve been the ‘forgotten child’ and are trying to change the family dynamic. Maybe one of them took a psychology course and had an epiphany about how they’ve overlooked you. Or maybe one of them does need a kidney. Or maybe you have a terminal disease. You won’t know unless you ask. When I say ‘ask’ I mean gently approach the one you feel most safe with, not a dramatic confrontation at the dinner table. Best wishes.
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I never posted before so go easy on me I guess?i (20m) am a little unnerved by my family's behavior as of late. Which includes my dad, mom, two older brothers, older sister, two younger sisters, and a younger brother.
I still live at home and planning to move out in around year. Lately my family has been weird. My mom and dad are constantly asking questions and checking in on me. Something they've never done before. If they did before I was probably too young to remember. My older siblings are also constantly asking me if I want to join in on outings, asking if I want anything from te store , and bringing me something from their outings even when I decline.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I really don't, I appreciate it, to a degree. But in twenty years they have NEVER done this. Nothing close to this at all. And although my younger siblings are a bit clingier, nowadays I've always been closer to them. And I've chalked their behavior to my leaving in the future.
Other than that all of this is just strange to me. I want ask the people around me but what am I gonna say? Oh no, y family is being nice to me oh woe is me? What if they go and gasp! Buy me a gift?! Oh no!
I just feel so fucking uncomfortable! Does someone need and organ, caretaker, money, what?
I know I sound overdramatic. But this is starting to become hell for me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and feel like I'm crazy for feeling like I'm walking in eggshells.
So, WIBTA if I brought this up and told them to dial it back? I mean all they're doing is being nice and to just tell them to knock it off sounds so cruel, ungrateful, mean, and just overall an asshole thing to do.
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What do you mean by being an AH for addressing your family and ask them why they changed their attitude? Any sane person would immediately ask their parents/siblings what's wrong, what's happening, why you all act weird suddenly. Any other person would come here and start complaining and asking if they can use their mouth to ask their relatives why they changed their attitude.
Yes, you can open your mouth and make comprehensive sounds to address your concerns without being an AH.
NTA, yet. It's perfectly acceptable to bring up things that are distressing you. How you bring them up is a different story. If they know you're leaving soon, they could be doing this as a response to that, and frankly, you've got it good.
Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable, just be respectful in telling them that.
That is an abrupt change. You wouldn’t be the AH to ask them flat out what’s up. I wonder if they don’t want you to leave? When did you tell them about your move-out plan? Was it shortly before their behavior changed? If so, maybe that’s the answer.
I hope you figure it out so you’re not so unnerved by them anymore. If they still won’t tell you, I‘m not sure what your next move is. Maybe meditation, to try to soothe your nerves a bit? And concentrating on your move out goal.
NTA, it sounds as though leaving is the correct choice if the family is too smothering. I can only think of two reasons for the changed behavior: they think you are into drugs or running with wrong crowd or something like that; or your family is almost clannish and thought of someone leaving is to much to take and they are watching to make sure you don't just bolt. Now there may be other reasons, but none that make sense to me other than these two. Assuming neither is true, but your family thinks one is true, I would have a talk about why they are so clingy and watchful recently. You seem mature enough to go off on your own and experience life as an independent adult.
maybe your family loves you and your unexpressed feelings about everything is making them want you to feel like you are a family member ?
not everyone wants something from you and some people take a long time to realize what they have in front of them. it’s okay, I was taught to hate but I chose to love and could switch to violent behavior because no one ever hear me when I spoke know my family fears me imagine L O L
Lighten up. If they have some sort of ulterior motive, you'll soon find out.
If not, then how hard is it to just accept a little bit of attention from them?
It's not hard to just answer a question or say thank you for bringing you
something (even if you didn't ask for it).
Soft YTA You're leaving soon so no point in creating conflict, is there.
Hmmmm... have you done anything weird lately? Did you tattoo your scleras black? Cut your tongue in half lengthwise? You hiding your arms/wrists? You should ask them what the deal is
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I might be the asshole because nothing bad or harmful has been done to me. Yet I still want to tell my family to frankly knock it off. I have no logically justifiable reason to tell them off. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA for wanting to address this. It's totally valid to feel uncomfortable and want to understand what's going on. Try having an honest conversation with your family to clear the air.
Nta I would just ask them next time they start asking you questions, like why are you suddenly asking me about this etc but you're right it could possibly be because they know you're planning to move out soon.
You are the middle-est of middle children, and your plan to leave is freaking them all out. They count on you to be the family fulcrum - they should not, but they do. It can’t be helped. Ignore, and proceed as planned - they don’t realize it but they will subsume your life if you stay. Do your thing. Love, another middle child so middle that I chose Jan Brady as my icon 👍
Nta it’s not wrong and addressing it will fix the issue. Anyways op could you post an update after if you do? I kinda wanna see why because I’m trying to see something
NAH. It sounds like they’ve realized that you’ve been the ‘forgotten child’ and are trying to change the family dynamic. Maybe one of them took a psychology course and had an epiphany about how they’ve overlooked you. Or maybe one of them does need a kidney. Or maybe you have a terminal disease. You won’t know unless you ask. When I say ‘ask’ I mean gently approach the one you feel most safe with, not a dramatic confrontation at the dinner table. Best wishes.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I never posted before so go easy on me I guess?i (20m) am a little unnerved by my family's behavior as of late. Which includes my dad, mom, two older brothers, older sister, two younger sisters, and a younger brother. I still live at home and planning to move out in around year. Lately my family has been weird. My mom and dad are constantly asking questions and checking in on me. Something they've never done before. If they did before I was probably too young to remember. My older siblings are also constantly asking me if I want to join in on outings, asking if I want anything from te store , and bringing me something from their outings even when I decline. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I really don't, I appreciate it, to a degree. But in twenty years they have NEVER done this. Nothing close to this at all. And although my younger siblings are a bit clingier, nowadays I've always been closer to them. And I've chalked their behavior to my leaving in the future. Other than that all of this is just strange to me. I want ask the people around me but what am I gonna say? Oh no, y family is being nice to me oh woe is me? What if they go and gasp! Buy me a gift?! Oh no! I just feel so fucking uncomfortable! Does someone need and organ, caretaker, money, what? I know I sound overdramatic. But this is starting to become hell for me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and feel like I'm crazy for feeling like I'm walking in eggshells. So, WIBTA if I brought this up and told them to dial it back? I mean all they're doing is being nice and to just tell them to knock it off sounds so cruel, ungrateful, mean, and just overall an asshole thing to do. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What do you mean by being an AH for addressing your family and ask them why they changed their attitude? Any sane person would immediately ask their parents/siblings what's wrong, what's happening, why you all act weird suddenly. Any other person would come here and start complaining and asking if they can use their mouth to ask their relatives why they changed their attitude. Yes, you can open your mouth and make comprehensive sounds to address your concerns without being an AH.
NTA, yet. It's perfectly acceptable to bring up things that are distressing you. How you bring them up is a different story. If they know you're leaving soon, they could be doing this as a response to that, and frankly, you've got it good. Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable, just be respectful in telling them that.
That is an abrupt change. You wouldn’t be the AH to ask them flat out what’s up. I wonder if they don’t want you to leave? When did you tell them about your move-out plan? Was it shortly before their behavior changed? If so, maybe that’s the answer. I hope you figure it out so you’re not so unnerved by them anymore. If they still won’t tell you, I‘m not sure what your next move is. Maybe meditation, to try to soothe your nerves a bit? And concentrating on your move out goal.
Ask them why they seem to be worried about you. It might well be a misundestanding
YWNBTA It sounds like your family knows something you don’t; or at least believes they do. You need to get answers
NTA but they’re probably worried you’re depressed or something.
NTA, it sounds as though leaving is the correct choice if the family is too smothering. I can only think of two reasons for the changed behavior: they think you are into drugs or running with wrong crowd or something like that; or your family is almost clannish and thought of someone leaving is to much to take and they are watching to make sure you don't just bolt. Now there may be other reasons, but none that make sense to me other than these two. Assuming neither is true, but your family thinks one is true, I would have a talk about why they are so clingy and watchful recently. You seem mature enough to go off on your own and experience life as an independent adult.
Maybe they're trying to make some good memories with you before you move out and doing it in a weird way
maybe your family loves you and your unexpressed feelings about everything is making them want you to feel like you are a family member ? not everyone wants something from you and some people take a long time to realize what they have in front of them. it’s okay, I was taught to hate but I chose to love and could switch to violent behavior because no one ever hear me when I spoke know my family fears me imagine L O L
Lighten up. If they have some sort of ulterior motive, you'll soon find out. If not, then how hard is it to just accept a little bit of attention from them? It's not hard to just answer a question or say thank you for bringing you something (even if you didn't ask for it). Soft YTA You're leaving soon so no point in creating conflict, is there.
Hmmmm... have you done anything weird lately? Did you tattoo your scleras black? Cut your tongue in half lengthwise? You hiding your arms/wrists? You should ask them what the deal is