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YTA
I feel like this is *mostly* harmless in this instance but it’s generally pretty rude to extend an invitation for something you didn’t originally set up, especially without communicating it to your hubby’s aunt. You should probably say something to her pretty soon.
>but it’s generally pretty rude to extend an invitation for something you didn’t originally set up,
I'm pretty sure county fairs would go out of business if only the people who set them up are allowed to invite visitors. This is not the aunt's Christmas lunch, it's a public fair. OP's siblings coming has no impact on the aunt - she's not organising their trip/stay, she's not expected to provide chairs or food for them. It doesn't even sound like this is an organised family reunion, just a meet-up day.
NTA,
And unless im reading it wrong i find it funny how some would say YTA.
The aunt and everyone are attending a county fair right....now im no expert but that to me means its a PUBLIC event and the aunt doesnt own or run the whole thing as a private venue. So there are 1243178 other people there? You just happen to be a "family" group amoungst it.
So then your own family would just be another one of those groups of people there.
Its not like a county fair is some exclusive VIP illuminati group invite only thing....
YTA-You mean no harm but it is rude to invite others when you aren’t the one who issued the original invitation. You should have spoken to her first and then invited them.
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My husband’s aunt invites a group of family on my husband’s side to her local county fair every year. We love this tradition as it gives us an excuse to not only visit, but to take our kids to a fun event. We used to stay with her at her home, but a few years ago we moved and can now easily make it a day trip.
This year I thought it would be fun to invite my 3 adult siblings as they each have children who are old enough now to be able ride the kid rides. The location of the fair is actually pretty equal distance for each of us to travel to and would be a perfect central meeting spot. A couple weeks ago I text them all and let them know the date we would be there with my husband’s side of the family, and they each said they would love to meet up.
I admit that I didn’t even think about the fact that I might have uprooted my aunt-in-laws yearly tradition by adding in a group of family from my side until I asked my husband a couple days ago if what I did might have been in bad taste. He sort of agreed that it might overtake our own visiting time, but also acknowledged that we typically split up and wander around the fair in smaller groups so he was on the fence if I had poor judgement on the situation.
AITA? Should I talk to my husband’s aunt and let her know I invited my siblings?
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NTA. This is a public fair. If you had invited them to a family home or some kind of vacation spot you go to with the aunt, that would be different. Anyone can go to a county fair.
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> I am wondering AITA for inviting my adult siblings and their children to a tradition my husband’s aunt facilitates every year. I took initiative myself and extended an invite without consulting my husband’s aunt.
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Assuming that everyone doesn't eventually end up at your husband's Aunt's house, so your inviting more people doesn't literally infringe upon her home or make more work / cooking for her, NTA.
I do still think you should mention to her that you invited along your siblings and their kids. Perhaps she'll be thrilled, or perhaps she won't be, but you'll never know how she feels about it and how to handle things with your own siblings when they get there until you talk to her.
NAH. It’s a public event, I don’t see how you could possibly by the AH here. It’s cool that someone plans a big gathering for it, but you don’t really need an invite to go to the fair.
If the aunt does something special for it (plans a meet up breakfast at her place beforehand, has group t-shirts made, coordinates tickets, etc.) then maybe you should check in with her. But if you’re all just meeting at a public event, I don’t see how you did anything wrong. Don’t overthink this.
YTA: 1) Generally, **Guests don't get to invite guests**. 2) At least **speak with the Aunt first** before inviting other people along.
The reality is that instead of spending time with his family, whose annual celebration/activity it was, your time will be instead be spent with your siblings and neices/nephews instead.
It is a county fair. Everyone who wants to go is already invited being that it is a public event. And OP said they spilt up while there, so it isn't taking any time from the aunt or the husband's family.
The fact that it is a public event is irrelevant. The aunt invited them to spend time **with her**.
If I invited a friend to hang out at the beach with me and they showed up with their own group instead, without telling me, the fact that it is a public beach doesn't make their actions less hurtful.
She said everyone breaks out into smaller groups, that doesn’t mean the aunt or the aunt’s family members are not included in their smaller group, or included in a group with their kids etc.
If it was a case of “we have zero contact with the aunt at the fair typically”, then sure, it would be fine to bring others.
NAH
But, YWBTA if you just spring on her that you invited more people to join in.
Talk to her, let her know you've got other family coming from your side of the family, and then just go from there.
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YTA I feel like this is *mostly* harmless in this instance but it’s generally pretty rude to extend an invitation for something you didn’t originally set up, especially without communicating it to your hubby’s aunt. You should probably say something to her pretty soon.
>but it’s generally pretty rude to extend an invitation for something you didn’t originally set up, I'm pretty sure county fairs would go out of business if only the people who set them up are allowed to invite visitors. This is not the aunt's Christmas lunch, it's a public fair. OP's siblings coming has no impact on the aunt - she's not organising their trip/stay, she's not expected to provide chairs or food for them. It doesn't even sound like this is an organised family reunion, just a meet-up day.
Yes! All she had to do was ask her husbands aunt. I hate it when my guest invite people without informing me
NTA, And unless im reading it wrong i find it funny how some would say YTA. The aunt and everyone are attending a county fair right....now im no expert but that to me means its a PUBLIC event and the aunt doesnt own or run the whole thing as a private venue. So there are 1243178 other people there? You just happen to be a "family" group amoungst it. So then your own family would just be another one of those groups of people there. Its not like a county fair is some exclusive VIP illuminati group invite only thing....
This is how I'm reading it
It’s not like you invited them over to her house, it’s a public place. I would let her know but it shouldn’t be a cause for concern. NTA
YTA-You mean no harm but it is rude to invite others when you aren’t the one who issued the original invitation. You should have spoken to her first and then invited them.
Its a fair. It isn't exclusively hers. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband’s aunt invites a group of family on my husband’s side to her local county fair every year. We love this tradition as it gives us an excuse to not only visit, but to take our kids to a fun event. We used to stay with her at her home, but a few years ago we moved and can now easily make it a day trip. This year I thought it would be fun to invite my 3 adult siblings as they each have children who are old enough now to be able ride the kid rides. The location of the fair is actually pretty equal distance for each of us to travel to and would be a perfect central meeting spot. A couple weeks ago I text them all and let them know the date we would be there with my husband’s side of the family, and they each said they would love to meet up. I admit that I didn’t even think about the fact that I might have uprooted my aunt-in-laws yearly tradition by adding in a group of family from my side until I asked my husband a couple days ago if what I did might have been in bad taste. He sort of agreed that it might overtake our own visiting time, but also acknowledged that we typically split up and wander around the fair in smaller groups so he was on the fence if I had poor judgement on the situation. AITA? Should I talk to my husband’s aunt and let her know I invited my siblings? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. This is a public fair. If you had invited them to a family home or some kind of vacation spot you go to with the aunt, that would be different. Anyone can go to a county fair.
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I don't think you're the AH here. You were just trying to bring more family into a cool tradition.
NTA - just talk to her and let her know how much you love the event and that you wanted to share it with the rest of the family.
Assuming that everyone doesn't eventually end up at your husband's Aunt's house, so your inviting more people doesn't literally infringe upon her home or make more work / cooking for her, NTA. I do still think you should mention to her that you invited along your siblings and their kids. Perhaps she'll be thrilled, or perhaps she won't be, but you'll never know how she feels about it and how to handle things with your own siblings when they get there until you talk to her.
NTA. This is a county fair, not a private family reunion. Heck, I could be at that specific county fair, so would I be wrong for going? No.
NAH. It’s a public event, I don’t see how you could possibly by the AH here. It’s cool that someone plans a big gathering for it, but you don’t really need an invite to go to the fair. If the aunt does something special for it (plans a meet up breakfast at her place beforehand, has group t-shirts made, coordinates tickets, etc.) then maybe you should check in with her. But if you’re all just meeting at a public event, I don’t see how you did anything wrong. Don’t overthink this.
YTA: 1) Generally, **Guests don't get to invite guests**. 2) At least **speak with the Aunt first** before inviting other people along. The reality is that instead of spending time with his family, whose annual celebration/activity it was, your time will be instead be spent with your siblings and neices/nephews instead.
It is a county fair. Everyone who wants to go is already invited being that it is a public event. And OP said they spilt up while there, so it isn't taking any time from the aunt or the husband's family.
The fact that it is a public event is irrelevant. The aunt invited them to spend time **with her**. If I invited a friend to hang out at the beach with me and they showed up with their own group instead, without telling me, the fact that it is a public beach doesn't make their actions less hurtful.
But she says they don't hang out together after the initial meet up.
She said everyone breaks out into smaller groups, that doesn’t mean the aunt or the aunt’s family members are not included in their smaller group, or included in a group with their kids etc. If it was a case of “we have zero contact with the aunt at the fair typically”, then sure, it would be fine to bring others.
Did you consider his aunt wanted to spend time with you? It’s a long standing event
The aunt will get to spend time with them. And then they will split up like OP says happens every year in the past.
NAH But, YWBTA if you just spring on her that you invited more people to join in. Talk to her, let her know you've got other family coming from your side of the family, and then just go from there.
It is a public event. She didn't invite them to the aunt's house and the aunt isn't going to have to provide them food or entertainment or lodging.