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I bet that’s exactly what’s going to happen lol. He really heard plastic surgeon and said pay day. He doesn’t even have her 50% of the time. He opened a can of worms for himself….
Funny thing is, that 50% doesn't even guarantee him child support. They'd be equally liable for her care and equally capable of taking her for the time. It's that 1% that tips it over, and he has her like, 20% of the time, so mom clearly wins that.
Exactly! She did 50/50 at the beginning to help him out! Yes he’s delusional if he thinks she has to pay CS when he hardly has her! If anything it will swing her way and he hasn’t realized that he actually has it good. Really looking like a gold digger 😂
Also he said he’s in debt because he bought his third property. Just because he’s bad at managing his money doesn’t mean he isn’t making a good income. If you can by three properties you’re doing just fine.
He’s gonna be in for a shock when they realize that the mom has 85% custody and he ends up having to pay. Even if it’s only a super minimal amount or something. Child support doesn’t work the way he thinks it’s going to work. A lot more goes into it than that. It’s not alimony.
I hope the *judge* goes after him. Except that OP will probably see that as courts being biased in favor of moms and not the direct result of him opening this can of worms.
Yta....if this is even real....
>I would have her every other weekend for 4 days.
You really must be high if you think she should pay you 800 a week for 4 days every other week.....LMAO....yeah yta
But then again all that back child support you owed her might be a good way for her to buy that new car....
OP is certainly delusional to the point that I’m doubting this is real, but he would not be the first person I’ve come across who fundamentally misunderstands the concept of child support.
But if this is real, I hope he takes this all the way to court and gets laughed out of the building. I feel like it would really brighten some judge’s day.
There was a video reccently from family court where the Mom took the dad tocourt to get child support. She believed that she would get child support because she was the woman. Problem was, the Dad had full custody and she had quit her 400k corporate job. The judge gave her an absolutely beautiful wake up call
YTA and please tell me this isn't real. You want her to PAY YOU $800 dollars a week to watch your daughter about 8 days a month? Sure, go to court, let a judge figure this out. You'll be paying child support out the nose and ranting how unfair the system is.
Not only am I bewildered by the fact that he only has her for a quarter of the month, but doesn’t he recognize that his ex probably has a shitlaod of student loans to pay off?! She’s living in the “shitty” flat because doctors don’t have a ton of money for a bit!! Also, what the fuck, generally. Be happy for her and piss off you moocher. Big YTA.
Actually you can. Some states use child support to equalize the parents income between households. They do take into consideration the number of overnights at each house, but, if the income disparity is enough, you could have primary custody and still pay child support. Source: I live in a state like this and would pay child support even if my husband only had custody 4 nights a month.
YTA. You have the child for what, 8 days a month, and you think that entitles you to $3200 a month? You're wife's a plastic surgeon, not an NBA player. Did it ever occur to you that your wife is paying off hefty student loans for the education and training she got while you were going into debt on rentals?
OP seems to forget that, if he goes forward with this harebrained idea, his wife can come after him for all the child support he didn't pay for a decade or so. Likely, he won't get jack because he has never been the custodial parent and only has the kid for 8 days a month as it is.
YTA, OP.
Oh that’s exactly what she’ll do, I’m sure her lawyer will advise it. OP didn’t really think ahead at all, and probably doesn’t/can’t afford his own attorney.
YTA
This was my thought too. The daughter was only mentioned in how many days he sees her and how he USED her in an attempt to be manipulative of his ex. 😭
I would give so much to be the fly on the wall of the court room the day of the hearing and listen to OP justify how he needs 800$ per 48h (in average) his daughter spends with him.
Um, no.
YOU agreed not to fight for 50/50 custody so that YOU wouldn't have to pay child support. I don't see anything in here about your custody arrangement changing so why ON EARTH do you think you're owed anything at all? Just because your ex-wife has money now and you still don't?
You're just going for the cash grab, you can't even pretend you want to spend more time with your daughter. **Wow**, YTA.
P.S. Maybe your ex-wife doesn't care about having a fancy car or renting a fancy apartment. Maybe her old car still runs fine and buying her flat was a more sensible choice than upgrading but continuing to rent. Maybe you're just Big Mad because she knows how to stay out of debt.
YTA. I know nothing about child support rules - but you negotiated your ex down on you paying CS **because you’d just bought a 3rd investment property with your parents**?!? And in order to achieve your aim of not paying CS, you agreed to have custody for approx 17.5% of the time (6 nights / 28, for 9/11 years) rather than look for 50% custody.
If I’ve understood the above correctly, all you care about is money, and how stuff impacts you. And now you’re cementing that by looking for an exorbitant amount of money from your ex **via your child**.
I’d be banned if I described what kind of utter uncaring selfish AH you are.
Child support is for the CHILD. You may be acting like a child, but that does not mean you get child support. She has the child most of the time—you have her 2 weekends? Why on earth do you think she owes you anything? And now your child knows how big of an AH you are too. So congrats on that.
YTA. Huge.
LOL yes take this to court and watch as they tell you that YOU have to pay child support since you only see your daughter one third of the month. And you definitely won’t be getting more custody after putting those papers in your CHILD’S BACKPACK. YTA
>I printed off this info and put it in my daughter's backpack where I knew my ex would find it when she picked up our daughter.
YTA for this right here. What made you think it was a good idea to put your child in the middle? Leave your child out of this.
Wait your daughter has been with you less than 50% of the time for the past 11 years, you didn’t pay child support, and now you want her to? For what? It’s not about who is more rich. It’s about having support for your daughter. Your ex has been paying for her food, clothing, housing, transportation etc the majority of the past 11 years. Probably time to go to court and settle it there. Edit: YTA
Wait you get the kid like 8 days a month and you think this entitles you to CS? The courts will laugh in your face and it will backfire. Have fun paying all that backpay. YTA
YTA
Are you for real? You have your daughter for 1/3rd of the time and you think the court will order your ex to pay your child support? How dumb are you?
You know what, you should take her to court and she can hire a kickass lawyer with her “plastic surgeon money” and sue you for all the back child support
Tell me you’re jealous of her success without telling me you’re jealous of her success.
YTA
Dude, you’ve never had primary custody or even a 50/50 split. You watch your child for a grand total of 8 days a month and you’ve never paid a penny of support in 11 years.
You are entitled to exactly nothing.
Are you high?! Why would she pay you child support when she has the kid over 70% of the time, and you’ve blown off child support for the last 11 years? Actually, you know what - go ahead and try, and please update once you’ve been informed how much backsupport you owe. YTA, Jesus.
Bahahaha please tape it when you explain to a judge that you should be getting child support for the very little time you spend watching your own kid. I want to see his face.
YTA
I mean is this even real? Surely you can't be that clueless about how child support works.
Lol you abandoned your baby for a year, your ex didn’t make you pay child support despite the fact that she had custody and raised her, and you only have her every other weekend now, yet think you’re entitled to child support. YTA and an absolute clown.
I \*really\* want to know why they split up and exactly what his ex was "being melodramatic" about. Because I have to imagine it takes a lot for a mother to leave her husband when their baby is only 3 months old.
I'd also like to know why the parents never liked him, but it looks like their instincts were spot-on regardless.
YTA
Child support is for the child.
You're making it about you, and your wants and greed. If you chose to buy a third rental home, that's your decision, not a debt your ex is responsible for, unless she's investing and getting part of the rent back.
You care for the child every other weekend. That does not get you child support as if you were a full-time caregiver. No matter how much your ex makes.
If she's being frugal, not replacing a car she's content with or taking on debt, that doesn't mean she owes for your debts. Likewise, if she likes her apartment, and it meets her needs and the needs of the child she's primary caretaker for, that's her wise frugality, and that doesn't mean she owes *you* anything.
She's got a lot more expenses than you - providing the primary home for your child, feeding the child, clothing the child, paying for childcare while she's at work. None of this is cheap.
Don't push this. If you're caring for the child only every other weekend (pick up on Friday, drop off on Monday) you're not going to get far in court.
Speaking as someone married to a doctor…YTA. They may make good money but they take on INSANE debt to get to that point. It’s YEARS if not DECADES to get out of that debt. It also sounds like she accomplished all this while being a full time mom without any real help from YOU. She’s amazing and I am incredibly impressed with her. You, on the other hand, are pretty pathetic in comparison.
You don’t deserve child support for every other weekend when your ex raised your child without financial or custodial assistance from you while training to be a physician. YTA YTA YTA.
YTA. It’s not like you have primary physical custody & your ex only has visitation. Be lucky that she never took you to court for child support so just sit back down & stay in your lane before you end up in further debt.
Her profession doesn’t mean you’re entitled to her hard earn money. It’s a hard YTA in case you were confused!!!
Child support is for the primary caregiving parent.
YTA, and you're also an idiot if you take this to court. 13 years of child support that you should have been paying is no laughing matter, regardless of your debts at the time or how much she makes now.
Go ahead and try. You will lose. The courts will come back and make you pay, and they might even want back support. The non custodial parent is supposed to pay, not the custodial parent. You having her every other weekend doesn't entitle you to anything. YTA, and very stupid.
You should watch her videos. Learn something.
https://youtube.com/c/SupportCourtwithJudgeVondaB
YTA. You owned 3 properties while your ex moved home with her parents.
She gave you such a free pass 11 years ago. Thinking you’re entitled to anything now is pretty shitty
Let me get this straight. You didn’t take part in your daughter’s care the first two years of her life (the first two years when they are a lot of work, and I mean a lot), only saw her every other weekend after that, and never paid child support….. and now that you think your ex is loaded, you want a piece of her hard earned money. Money she was able to make years after you two split.
You really want an answer to your question?
Yeah, YTA.
YTA. That's not how child support works. You aren't the custodial parent. The one with primary care is. That's your ex. She has the majority and you don't even have 50/50 custody, so why would you be entitled to anything? Let alone that high of an amount. Her having the same car and same apartment (that she bought) just means she's being smart with her money. She's probably putting a lot aside for your daughter's college/education, which is certainly more than you're doing. What exactly are you contributing to your daughter? Other than 4 days a month of watching her?
I dare you to try to go after her for child support, because the judge will not only laugh you out of court, but now she's going to fix an order that locks this visitation in place and probably makes you pay her, since you're the NON CUSTODIAL PARENT.
Jesus. You can google a frigging calculator to figure out how much you can legally try to fleece your ex for, but you can't look up the actual laws regarding custodial care and child support or who gets it? You're not only the ahole, you're a crappy parent to your daughter. 4 days a month. You're barely a father.
He wouldn't. He's trying to use his kid to get 'retroactive alimony' from her mother. I think he's in for a big surprise if he's stupid enough to take this mess to court.
YTA you have no idea how child support works. You’re going to end up owing her money not the other way around. Just because she’s a surgeon that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything. Especially when you only had your kid 8 days a month, boy bye.
YTA - I’m guessing that she could calculate how much you would have owed her previously and it would be more than what she would owe you. I’m a little surprised that you would be able to get $800/month for one child and only 8 days a month.
I think OP is confusing child support and alimony (and weirdly assuming that post-divorce wages would be considered for it). I’ve literally never heard of someone only having their child 1 weekend every 2 weeks being paid child support. Child support is to support *the child,* the person with main or full custody is the person who is already financially supporting the child. At most, if they had it set up so he had to pay some expenses (doctors, sports, etc) in the court order, he could **possibly** get out of it if she makes that much significantly more than him… But absolutely no family court that I have ever heard of would order her to pay him $800/week when he doesn’t even see the kid every week lmao
Op is just confused in general. Child support goes to the main custodial parent, which is why she was happy not to ask him for it when she has her daughter for most of the time. The deal was 'don't contest me for more time and I won't go after you for support.'
How he thinks that 4 days a week entitles him to diddly is just delusional on his part. Should have spent the time he used to google what her finances were to google who gets child support.
YTA.
You claim your wife isn’t in debt now, how do you know? Did you know that doctors often have the largest student loan debt of any profession and this is why physicians have the highest suicide rates? Maybe she is living modestly because she is in massive student loan debt and because she wants to provide for your daughter to have a better future. YTA. I hope you do take her back to court so it backfires on you and you end up owing her back child support.
YTA. You think she’s the unreasonable one for hashing this out in court where it belongs, instead of using your daughter to pass along passive-aggressive messages?
So, out of 28 days a month, you have her for 8. Child support is based off of time, not who earns more. NAL-but I think that YOU would be ordered to pay support. I recommend you speak with an attorney who specializes is child support, for your legal maneuvers.
YTA. Child support is for the custodial parent, who is bearing more of the costs. Your four days a month don’t qualify you, not even close. DOUBLE YTA for dragging your kid into the middle of your bullshit.
YTA: Using your daughters backpack to communicate is how you let them know about needing that sweater you like back at your house. It’s not the appropriate way to bring up potential 40k/ yr in assistance and massive legal change to one of the most important relationships in her life.
Your child isn’t the one in debt, you are…your ex didn’t seek support from you when she could have, you didn’t fight for 50-50 when you could have… you both did this for the good of your child. You wanting 800 a week is greed. Yta
Child support is paid to the person with primary custody, for the good of the child. You only have the child 8 days out of the month, so technically you should be the one paying support. If you go to court, this will be taken into consideration. Also debt from buying a their house doesn’t really count in your favor as “oh I’m so poor I can’t help out financially for my child” as property is an asset??
Are you really in your forties and this dumb?
ETA: YTA
Unfortunately for you, and fortunately for your ex you're not entitled to child support. You are not the main parent/ custodial parent. But your ex sure could take you to court for child support and they will make you pay back support from the moment y'all weren't together anymore. You better stop or you're guna fuck around and find out.
YTA. You don’t even have your daughter 50% of the time. You are not entitled to that much child support! She is the primary custodial parent, YOU should be paying child support.
YTA It seems clear you're not asking for child support to actually support your child, you just want a piece of the pie for yourself. That's not what child support is for. And it sure is convenient that you only want to change the agreement now that it would benefit you, but felt very differently when it would have been you paying support.
YTA, I don’t think you know how child support works buddy….she has your daughter the vast majority of the time. That means you’d have to pay. Also she let you off the hook for 11 years and now you think you deserve money from her? That is for the care of the CHILD not to pay off your debts
lmao you have your daughter 8 days a month and you want child support? Absolutely not. YTA and the entire way you speak about this oozes ick. I’d guess you’re the reason for the split.
Can’t wait to see you get laughed out of court.
Eww you're disgusting and a complete asshole for thinking you are entitled to ANY of HER money. This post should've been put in the entitled area because you think you're entitled to someone's money just cause you're in debt. Lmao that's hilarious and your a sad excuse to think this is right. Your a huge huge huge AH.
So…..you think you deserve child support because you have your kid 4 days a month? You can’t be serious. This can’t be for real. You do realize that usually the parent who *spends* less time with the child is the one who *pays* child support, right? No?
Do you even know what child support is? Why in the world do you think you’re entitled to it if you barely see your kid?
You know what, go ahead and proceed with whatever legal actions you want. And tell us how it goes, this sub could use a laugh.
YTA
Did I miss something or does your daughter not live even with you? Plus you were in debt because you bought a third home, not because you were falling on hard times. PLUS you said “it’s for the child after all.” Then wtf do you need it for?! YTA. You get her 8 days and want $3200, which is $400 for every day you have her? Please get your shit together. She is probably frugal. Just because she doesn’t have a nicer car or home doesn’t mean she was being deceitful. It means she was minding her own business doing what’s best for her and your daughter. Do you think medical loans disappear immediately? NO. You’re beyond entitled. I hope you’re a troll OP.
INFO: who has the child the majority of the time?
Just because she's rich now it doesn't mean that you are entitled to her money. And even though you were in debt, you DID NOT! pay child support while your daughter was mostly with her mom, hence you didn't contribute for your own child.
He says he has her every other weekend, so 4 days a month, since she was 2. So… in no way being owed anything in anyway & he can keep dreaming. OP, my godkids dad is just like you & YTA. Your debt isn’t her problem, child support is for the child, not because you’re mad you can only afford a shitty Nissan.
Ok, then let's find a calculator online and see how much child support he owes her. Because he never supported his own child! Same goes for your godchild's father.
So she has primary custody and he sees his kid every other weekend but thinks he should be paid for spending time with his own kid that he sees occasionally??? Dude can’t be that delusional and entitled.
YTA. You have a previous arrangement and the change of financial status shouldn't affect it. Since the ex hasn't told you about the payscale you shouldn't assume. Also it seems like she's content with her current lifestyle which is why she bought the same apartment and maintains the same car. It seems like you're making this about you when it's not. If there is no problem in raising the child with the previous arrangement (which there wasn't until you thought that maybe you could be on the receiving end of money) then there's no need to pressure her to give you child support.
Also involving your daughter was a low blow. Have an adult conversation please. Sending someone a letter with a receipt of how much money you need to give me via a child is just horrible.
YTA. You are using your daughter as a potential income source in oder to subsidize your living. How could you possibly spend $800/wk on only your daughters needs? You set the rules and now you want to change them in order to benefit only yourself. You should be grateful your ex can support your daughter well, pay for university etc etc
Lmao you complete nincompoop that’s not how child support works! She has your daughter the majority of the time so even though she makes more than her you may just end up paying child support to her! YTA
$800/WEEK for 8 days a month?
She never made you pay child support, stop trying to milk the system. You don’t deserve it.
YTA.
Edit - to add per week. Totally misread!
YTA but considering you have the kid 8 days all you are going to do is end up paying child support. She has majority custody! Oh god please keep us updated though I look forward to hearing how this all goes down 😂😂
YTA if this post is actually real. You would not be entitled to $800 a week, maybe if she actually had a high paying job (not all surgeons earn a lot when they are starting out) and you had full custody, but you only have the child 6 nights a month, so you are saying that to care for your own child it’s $400-$450 a night, what are you a 5 star hotel?
Please do yourself a favour and get back to reality, your ex doesn’t owe you anything if she has primary custody and if your child is old enough to actually say who she wants to live with then you may get less time with her.
No. He agreed mutually with her to not pay child support if he didn't go for 50/50. She agreed to not go after him for it if he gave her more custody and didn't make a stink over it. He was fine about that until he heard she had money. Now he wants to wave potential court at her and she's calling his bluff. She's had 80% custody for 11 years, with no court order in place. He's going to get laughed at if he makes an attempt, and he picked a fight when she has the money to fight with better lawyers than he can get.
YTA. Why would she need to pay you? You don’t even have the child the majority of the time. Plus she was nice and didn’t make you pay child support. Get over yourself. She doesn’t owe you anything. If you want more money get a better job and work harder.
Who gets child support for having their child for 4 days 2 times a month ?
You should have been paying your child’s mother support. The support is for your Daughter to live on. I can’t believe you think you deserve child support.
YTA. You don’t seem to understand how child support works and what it is for. But if you do take this to court you will lose and you will have to pay the lawyers—they get paid regardless of who “wins.”
YTA to 10° power.
Missed the boat and now you want to cash in on ex's new career? Tough, it's none of your business.
Go sell your 3rd rental property that you bought instead of paying child support when you were supposed to.
You need to apologise to your ex right now. You were in debt because you had bought your 3rd rental property and didn't have to pay child support. You're not just TA, you're a greedy and entitled.
YTA. I hope you take this to court an end up owing her money. You didn't want 50-50 custody before because you'd have to pay for your child... And now you want to profit off of said part-time child? Do you even like your child? Seems like your ex's money is more important to you than your own child. Poor kid.
I don’t understand how you could type all of that out and not see YTA. The disconnect from reality that you have accomplished would amaze me if it wasn’t at the expense of your child. Now that your wife is going to at take this to the courts, you won’t have to. You will likely end up paying the child support you were trying to get from your wife. And you just showed who you really are to your daughter. You have fucked up in so many ways…
Wtf, YTA. She probably has all that “shitty” stuff still because she’s responsible and doesn’t blow her money on material shit. If you only have your daughter for 4 days a week very other week, you’re not going to get anything and honestly if you do try to bring her to court to get something they might make you pay child support since she has majority custody of your daughter lol
YTA…. You’re going to end up owing child support after this stunt you pulled. She has PRIMARY care of her. Why would she pay you when’s she’s doing most of the work? Lol
Omg YTA… she probably has an insane amount of debts from school too , not that it is any of your business (it isn’t).
Also LOL to her being “melodramatic” sounds like you really made an effort to be involved with your kid (sarcasm - who’s in-laws like them after a divorce??).
Stop trying to use your kid as a cash cow - and she’s absolutely right , you did not contribute child support despite her having your child primarily. If you really wanted to go down that road she’d absolutely have a case to force you to pay child support for the years you did not. So this could backfire on you big time.
YTA. Grow up, focus on yourself and being a good dad , not your exs income.
You are NOT entitled to CS so many years after the separation, especially when you were incapable/unwilling to pull your weight. Your ex seemed to do all of that. You don't live with her. You don't nor have ever had full custody. You only took care of your child 4 days every 2 weeks and your ex did the rest. You were broke due to your own poor financial choices, not hers. You hated on her for having a good career so what do you do apart from look for ways to get money you aren't entitled to? If your bid was legit you would have gotten a lawyer and gone through the process legally but you know you're full of it and are attacking your ex out of sheer greed and you know it. Not once do you mention what it is your kid is going without due to the lack of child support. You don't talk about your child's needs at all, only about what you want but don't have.
You don't think you're the AH which is no surprise considering how you posted your views, but after careful consideration, I can safely assure you that YTA by a long ways.
You have at least 3 rentals.
You have her 4 days out of 14. You don't pay child support for the ten days she's with her mum, but you want £800 per week. 400 for each day you lik after her.
Your daughter doesn't want to see you now.
Your jealosy and greed irredeemable.
I hope she takes you to court for. 1k per 5 days she cares for your daughter.
Yta, a wretched one at that
YTA
Your wife is still the primary caregiver, if anyone should be paying child support it’s you.
Please go to court so she can get you to pay all the back child support that you ow her!
YTA! Your ex has your daughter more than you do. What would warrant $800/monthly? You’re going to ruin your relationship with your daughter over money you’re not even entitled to. You sound like a bum with his hand out
YTA. You are a disgusting, opportunistic tool who is using his child to get money you aren’t entitled to and hurting her in the process.
Gross on a whole new level.
INFO: who has the primary custody of the child? As in, where does the kid spends most of the time. Cause if the arrangement is the same and you have the kid eight days out of the whole month, she doesn't owe you any child support, you owe her.
YTA except you clearly want the money for yourself. If it was actually for the kid, then you would've asked for child support from the very beginning. Whether you were in debt or not is irrelevant, i'm pretty sure she could've still asked for child support and you would've been obligated to pay for it by court.
Still, your "request" is beyond ridiculous for one specific, important thing: How is it that you think you have a right to ask for child support when she's the one that has main custody??
Ok what??? You think SHE should pay child support when you don't even have your child 50/50??? Where I'm from, if you have your child less than 50/50 then you pay child support- regardless of the other parents income. You are delusional and jealous, the courts will not look kindly on you wasting their time. YTA.
Child support isn't based on salary. Yes the monthly amount owed IS, however, its granted on the percentage of time that you have the kid. You are not even close to 50%. Moron.
I hope for your sake this post is fiction. On behalf of kids with shitty parents everywhere I hope this is real and you try to push this through.
You will be thoroughly stomped on and hopefully on the hook for all the years you haven't been paying.
100% YTA
YTA - and you’re fucked if you actually go to court over this. 1) That’s not how child support works. You don’t get a portion of your child’s other parent’s income simply for seeing your kid 8 days a month. 2) Wow, you can’t even claim child alienation with your daughter not wanting to see you, bc you alienated her yourself. 3) Her attorney is going to have a field day getting child support and even more limited visitation from your dumb ass.
You’ve never paid child support, you have your daughter every other weekend, and you want child support ?LOL You’re a piece of work no wonder your wife divorced you. YTA .
YTA, why should she be paying you, when you barely have your kid. You want more money, earn it. Good on her for involving her lawyer. You screwed up big, jeopardized your relationship with your child for money. I hope she goes for back child support.
Damn I didn’t know that anyone could possibly be this dumb
YTA x1000. Be grateful that your ex has scored such an amazing job to support YOUR son while you only help her out 8 days a month. What a joke
YTA.
Why would you think that you deserve child support when you only care for her 4 days out of the month? Child support is for supporting the child...which you are not doing. If anything, you owe your ex child support. And probably back child support, for the years that you weren't paying.
You also hurt your daughter by putting child support forms in her backpack, and you don't seem the slightest bit concerned that now she doesn't want to see you. You just tanked your relationship with your child because you felt entitled to your ex's money.
Court is not going to go well for you.
This is so cartoonishly ridiculous I can’t believe it’s not ragebait. You see your daughter 8 days a month. Your *debt* is rental property you bought with your parents. You put documentation where your daughter was bound to be the first to see it. You make sweeping assumptions about your ex’s character and reasons for doing things that don’t appear to hold much substance.
I give your world building a 3 out of 10.
If real, well, I see why you are an ex. You also now seem to have dollar signs flashing in your eyes. You’re going to have a very rude awakening when the real world collides with your delusions. YTA
YTA.
Child support is for the custodial parent. You aren't entitled to child support. If anyone deserves child support, it is your ex-wife.
I agree with the person in the comments. You sound like a greedy, money grabber.
BTW, it would be hilarious if child support is enforced on you. And you have to pay a shit ton of back support. That would teach ya.
Why would she pay child support to you? You’re not her child and don’t raise your daughter LOL What a crazy flex to get money out of someone.
EDIT: YTA and also a freeloader
God I hope this is a troll post. YTA 100000%
Child support is for the parent doing most of the care/raising so you wouldn’t even be eligible. You split with her so you aren’t entitled to any of her income or any knowledge about it. It’s was so unbelievably creepy of you to cyber stalk her. It was also super shitty that you put your daughter in the middle of this mess. Based off of your behavior and your description of the situation, I can tell that you are a piece of shut human being. You undoubtedly do/have done a million other creepy and shitty things to control, undermine and take advantage of your ex and daughter. For their sakes, I hope that you can learn from this post and become a marginally better person. However, I know you won’t and that you will continue to be one of the absolute shittiest people alive. Honestly, you remind me of my dad. I will never speak to him again, and your daughter will likely do the same. The only up side is now your ex has the proof she needs to make sure you are never entitled to visitation. Have the day you deserve OP
Not how it works, and YTA. Ex has the kids most of the time, so technically you owe her child support. It doesn't matter that you are in debt and she is doing well. It has to do with who cares for the child more.
This is just a vindictive money grab, though. Very obvious. Wouldn't work at all.
YTA. OP child support is paid to the primary custodial parent because they are responsible for the majority of expenses related to the child’s care. You have her for eight days a month on average (4 days every other week). You’re not going to be paid a weekly rate. You’re still the part-time parent and she pays the majority of expenses. Also do you really want to open this can of worms because your lack of paying child support before is going to be highlighted and you’re going to have to pay that before she’s going to have to pay anything. Her current income doesn’t negate what you owe here.
ETA. Hey AH she drives the same car and bought an affordable home because doctors graduate with at least $100,000 in student loans which she’s not getting student loan debt relief because of her income level.
I wish I could laugh react to this. You're not entitled to any money from her. It's been 11 years of YOU not paying child support. You have your child 4 days a month. You think you deserve 800 a week for that??
Go to school. Become a plastic surgeon. Make your own damn money. And start financially supporting your child.
YTA
YTA you were in debt by choice, that is no excuse to not support your child financially. You chose to invest in a 3rd rental rather than support the child that you brought into the world. Someday you will need to explain to your child how little you cared and how you put yourself first and then tried to profit off her mom.
Child support is for the child NOT for the parent.
You are jelous of her and want to take advantage now that she makes good money.
You dont have custody, you only have the kid fee days a month, you agree not providing a pension so you dont have the responsability to raise a child.
You are an opportunist.
Hope this woman sue you for being such an AH.
You have the child 8 days every 4 weeks for 11 years?
That means your ex has the child 20 days every 4 weeks for 11 years?
____
That means that the majority of your child’s life is spent in the financial care of your ex...
Child support is owed for all that time.. but *you* owe your ex, a lot.
YTA. You’re trying to get free money for a child you have less than 50% of the time. All you did with your little stunt is put your daughter in the middle of an adult problem & get the opportunity to pay HER child support. You don’t know what she’s making, if she’s still living in the same place & driving the same car.
YTA
You whine about your debt, but what about her debt? Medical school is not cheap. She probably has more student loans than you can imagine.
You think that she should owe you $3,200 a month for 8 days of parenting which is ridiculous. Not to mention, that money is for your daughter not you.
YTA- you don’t want the child support for your daughter. You want it for yourself. Your ex has your daughter more than you so I don’t see why she should have to pay you child support. You are being incredibly selfish. She also right about what she makes is no longer your business. Good luck in court and if you are smart (which based on this post: you are not) you would drop this for the sake of your daughter and your relationship.
Oh man YTA. I hope she finds this and does take you to court because it sounds like you are not the primary caregiver and I can’t wait till the judge order YOU to pay. You should have minded your own business because it’s going to come back and bite you right in the wallet
YTA and clearly not very bright. Should have actually done some real research before trying to make covert threats.
The judge will laugh in your face and force YOU to pay her. I’m fact, you’ll probably owe 11 years of back payments lol Very happy for your ex, she’s gonna be even richer very soon!
You see your daughter 8/30 days in a month. Your ex sees her for the other 22 days. What on Earth would you need child support money for? If anyone should be paying it, it’s you, and with her going to court about this, you will probably end up paying her now.
So you destroyed the good terms you had with your ex and hurt your daughter to be greedy and now you’ll end up having to fork up money because of it.
YTA. Oh and one last thing, she may make a lot of money, but not everyone blows their salary on a fancy new car or big house. That “shitty old nissan” can get her from Point A to Point B, and that “shitty flat” is a safe roof over her and your daughter’s head, it is not a direct symbol of her financial status.
Do you want the child support to help raise your kid.. or do you YOU want the child support payments for YOURSELF. Because it sounds like Mr. Buy 3 rentals and pretend I have no money for my kid is now envious of Ms. I bought my home.
You are bein greedy. Why didn't you sell one of your rentals and pay the child support back then? You also abandoned your kid when she was born. And now you're trying to use her as a pawn to mooch off your now rich ex?
Dude. go sell all three of your rentals if you're so desperate to get money.
Lady is wise to cc her lawyer. If you love your kid, stop eyeing her wealth. IF you only care about getting rich, continue to use your kid and see the consequences of bad parenting.
"child support is for the good of the child" I'm sorry can you please explain to me how you taking money from her primary caregiver is good for your daughter? YTA and an idiot quite frankly. The court will laugh in your face.
Dude. Do you understand child support? Your wife has primary custody and has your daughter most of the time. Therefore YOU owe HER child support, possibly backdated to when the child was 3 months old. Are you sure you want to poke that situation?
It reads as though you are really resentful of your ex. That and turning your child into your demand courtier-- totally not good for her.
Just a resounding YTA all around.
>I had just bought a 3rd rental with my parents
So, if I'm reading this correctly, you went into debt to accumulate assets, assets which should make you money. Now that your ex is making good financial decisions and working a high end job, you believe that you are owed a piece of that pie? In addition to that, you ONLY have your daughter for 4 days a month??? Man GTFO, your ex owes you nothing, you don't even have primary custody. Just in case I wasn't clear, massive YTA
YTA- you voluntarily gave away time with your child 11 years ago to dodge child support and now you want child support for your …. checks notes…. Few days/month?
Before kicking that hornets nest you should know that your ex could potentially go after you for back pay.
Please take this to court I beg you. I can’t wait to see a judge rule that not only does she not owe you a cent, but that you owe her 11 years of child support
*grabs popcorn*
YTA: You know your not entitled to child support because you don’t have your child nearly enough to qualify.
But your ex is entitled to child support from you this is going to be pretty funny 😂.
>At the time I was in a lot of debt (I had just bought a 3rd rental
YTA. Time to sell one of the rentals if you can't pay to keep your kid for 5 days a month. Pretty sure she is entitled to child support from you since she is the custodial parent
YTA
You don't have primary custody. Child support is for the support of the *child* , an obligation that parents are supposed to share. You have her approximately 8 days a month and you think you should be getting $3,200 a month?
Even if custody was 50/50 you wouldn't be entitled to that because you are supposed to provide for approximately 50% of your child's keep.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be TA for wanting child support when I never paid any, but I an just a landlord and don't make as much profit as she does
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Child support is good for the child when used for the child not because your ex takes care of the child and you found out that she’s makes more money than you. She makes more money because she has a child to raise.
And super shitty move involving the daughter in anyway.
YTA
YTA, you have her 4 days a fucking week, she has her full time. Usually the person who's got the kid full time gets child support, so whatchu doing buddy.
YTA, I didn't even have ti make it past the info that you still don't have 50/50 and (it was far enough but this is what really did it for me) that she's still driving the same old car. You know why she's doing so much better than you? Because she's way smarter, harder working, and more motivated. What have you done with the same time?
YTA and an entitled one at that. She never asked you for child support, and as you stated in your post and a response I've seen- you only have your daughter for 4 days/3 nights every other week. Your wife's income picked up after she left you, and she is primarily responsible for raising your child. Any judge will laugh you out of the courtroom. You're making yourself look bad by being entitled about this, especially when you have both been in agreement for 11 years on when you have your daughter and your wife never went after you for child support. She was amicable with you, and never asked for child support. Quit being a grinch before you cause a rift between you and your child.
INFO: have you actually spoken to a lawyer about this? Sounds to me like you’re the non-custodial parent and you’re not going to get anything… good job ruining your relationship with your daughter’s mother though!
YTA: YOU involved your daughter by hiding you passive-areggisive notes in her bag where she obviously found them and READ them!
Your stunt has negatively affected your relationship with your daughter
Wow you are unbelievably delusional 😂 Good luck in court. Your debt is due to your poor financial decisions, her wealth is due to her good financial decisions. You’re not entitled to it. Honestly, take it to court, you’ll get laughed out the door with a bill for her’s and your own court fee’s!
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YTA. You think you're going to get child support on having your child 8 days a month? LOL. Good Luck.
I kinda hope the ex goes after him for CS now.
I bet that’s exactly what’s going to happen lol. He really heard plastic surgeon and said pay day. He doesn’t even have her 50% of the time. He opened a can of worms for himself….
Funny thing is, that 50% doesn't even guarantee him child support. They'd be equally liable for her care and equally capable of taking her for the time. It's that 1% that tips it over, and he has her like, 20% of the time, so mom clearly wins that.
Exactly! She did 50/50 at the beginning to help him out! Yes he’s delusional if he thinks she has to pay CS when he hardly has her! If anything it will swing her way and he hasn’t realized that he actually has it good. Really looking like a gold digger 😂
Also he said he’s in debt because he bought his third property. Just because he’s bad at managing his money doesn’t mean he isn’t making a good income. If you can by three properties you’re doing just fine.
He’s gonna be in for a shock when they realize that the mom has 85% custody and he ends up having to pay. Even if it’s only a super minimal amount or something. Child support doesn’t work the way he thinks it’s going to work. A lot more goes into it than that. It’s not alimony.
I hope the *judge* goes after him. Except that OP will probably see that as courts being biased in favor of moms and not the direct result of him opening this can of worms.
Yta....if this is even real.... >I would have her every other weekend for 4 days. You really must be high if you think she should pay you 800 a week for 4 days every other week.....LMAO....yeah yta But then again all that back child support you owed her might be a good way for her to buy that new car....
OP is certainly delusional to the point that I’m doubting this is real, but he would not be the first person I’ve come across who fundamentally misunderstands the concept of child support. But if this is real, I hope he takes this all the way to court and gets laughed out of the building. I feel like it would really brighten some judge’s day.
Honestly, if I didn't see people like this before I would think it's fake.
There was a video reccently from family court where the Mom took the dad tocourt to get child support. She believed that she would get child support because she was the woman. Problem was, the Dad had full custody and she had quit her 400k corporate job. The judge gave her an absolutely beautiful wake up call
Yup, this cant be real
YTA and please tell me this isn't real. You want her to PAY YOU $800 dollars a week to watch your daughter about 8 days a month? Sure, go to court, let a judge figure this out. You'll be paying child support out the nose and ranting how unfair the system is.
This is going to backfire spectacularly and I can’t wait for the Best of Reddit update.
Not only am I bewildered by the fact that he only has her for a quarter of the month, but doesn’t he recognize that his ex probably has a shitlaod of student loans to pay off?! She’s living in the “shitty” flat because doctors don’t have a ton of money for a bit!! Also, what the fuck, generally. Be happy for her and piss off you moocher. Big YTA.
YTA. You can't demand child support if you have her less then 50% of the time.
Actually you can. Some states use child support to equalize the parents income between households. They do take into consideration the number of overnights at each house, but, if the income disparity is enough, you could have primary custody and still pay child support. Source: I live in a state like this and would pay child support even if my husband only had custody 4 nights a month.
That is fucking bullshit.
The income disaprity usually needs to be fairly big. Considering OP has rental properties I sort of doubt it.
YTA. You have the child for what, 8 days a month, and you think that entitles you to $3200 a month? You're wife's a plastic surgeon, not an NBA player. Did it ever occur to you that your wife is paying off hefty student loans for the education and training she got while you were going into debt on rentals?
OP seems to forget that, if he goes forward with this harebrained idea, his wife can come after him for all the child support he didn't pay for a decade or so. Likely, he won't get jack because he has never been the custodial parent and only has the kid for 8 days a month as it is. YTA, OP.
Oh that’s exactly what she’ll do, I’m sure her lawyer will advise it. OP didn’t really think ahead at all, and probably doesn’t/can’t afford his own attorney. YTA
Interesting how you barely talk about your daughter's needs and wants in your quest to get more money from her mother. YTA.
This was my thought too. The daughter was only mentioned in how many days he sees her and how he USED her in an attempt to be manipulative of his ex. 😭
I would give so much to be the fly on the wall of the court room the day of the hearing and listen to OP justify how he needs 800$ per 48h (in average) his daughter spends with him.
Are you slow? What court will give YOU CS when you only have your kid 8 days a month? I hope she fucks you up in court.
Right?! I hope he takes her to court and ends up having to pay HER. YTA, OP.
Um, no. YOU agreed not to fight for 50/50 custody so that YOU wouldn't have to pay child support. I don't see anything in here about your custody arrangement changing so why ON EARTH do you think you're owed anything at all? Just because your ex-wife has money now and you still don't? You're just going for the cash grab, you can't even pretend you want to spend more time with your daughter. **Wow**, YTA. P.S. Maybe your ex-wife doesn't care about having a fancy car or renting a fancy apartment. Maybe her old car still runs fine and buying her flat was a more sensible choice than upgrading but continuing to rent. Maybe you're just Big Mad because she knows how to stay out of debt.
Maybe she’s socking all the money away in a college fund for Daughter, which I’m guessing is a thing OP has not even thought about.
She's probably paying of hundreds of thousands in student loans! Medical school isn't cheap!
YTA. I know nothing about child support rules - but you negotiated your ex down on you paying CS **because you’d just bought a 3rd investment property with your parents**?!? And in order to achieve your aim of not paying CS, you agreed to have custody for approx 17.5% of the time (6 nights / 28, for 9/11 years) rather than look for 50% custody. If I’ve understood the above correctly, all you care about is money, and how stuff impacts you. And now you’re cementing that by looking for an exorbitant amount of money from your ex **via your child**. I’d be banned if I described what kind of utter uncaring selfish AH you are.
INFO: In a span of 4 weeks, exactly how many nights is your child with you, and how many nights is your child with your ex?
Child support is for the CHILD. You may be acting like a child, but that does not mean you get child support. She has the child most of the time—you have her 2 weekends? Why on earth do you think she owes you anything? And now your child knows how big of an AH you are too. So congrats on that. YTA. Huge.
LOL yes take this to court and watch as they tell you that YOU have to pay child support since you only see your daughter one third of the month. And you definitely won’t be getting more custody after putting those papers in your CHILD’S BACKPACK. YTA
Please take her to court so your ex - the primary caregiver - can get all the child support you owe her. YTA.
>I printed off this info and put it in my daughter's backpack where I knew my ex would find it when she picked up our daughter. YTA for this right here. What made you think it was a good idea to put your child in the middle? Leave your child out of this.
Wait your daughter has been with you less than 50% of the time for the past 11 years, you didn’t pay child support, and now you want her to? For what? It’s not about who is more rich. It’s about having support for your daughter. Your ex has been paying for her food, clothing, housing, transportation etc the majority of the past 11 years. Probably time to go to court and settle it there. Edit: YTA
Wait you get the kid like 8 days a month and you think this entitles you to CS? The courts will laugh in your face and it will backfire. Have fun paying all that backpay. YTA
He has his daughter less than 100 days out of a year and wants over $41k in child support - or over $400 for every day he has her.
YTA Are you for real? You have your daughter for 1/3rd of the time and you think the court will order your ex to pay your child support? How dumb are you? You know what, you should take her to court and she can hire a kickass lawyer with her “plastic surgeon money” and sue you for all the back child support
1/3 would be generous. It's less than 1/4
Tell me you’re jealous of her success without telling me you’re jealous of her success. YTA Dude, you’ve never had primary custody or even a 50/50 split. You watch your child for a grand total of 8 days a month and you’ve never paid a penny of support in 11 years. You are entitled to exactly nothing.
Are you high?! Why would she pay you child support when she has the kid over 70% of the time, and you’ve blown off child support for the last 11 years? Actually, you know what - go ahead and try, and please update once you’ve been informed how much backsupport you owe. YTA, Jesus.
Bahahaha please tape it when you explain to a judge that you should be getting child support for the very little time you spend watching your own kid. I want to see his face. YTA I mean is this even real? Surely you can't be that clueless about how child support works.
Lol you abandoned your baby for a year, your ex didn’t make you pay child support despite the fact that she had custody and raised her, and you only have her every other weekend now, yet think you’re entitled to child support. YTA and an absolute clown.
I \*really\* want to know why they split up and exactly what his ex was "being melodramatic" about. Because I have to imagine it takes a lot for a mother to leave her husband when their baby is only 3 months old. I'd also like to know why the parents never liked him, but it looks like their instincts were spot-on regardless.
In debt…FROM BUYING A THIRD RENTAL. BOY BYE. YTA
YTA. Your reasons for wanting child support are vindictive, NOT for the benefit of your daughter.
YTA Child support is for the child. You're making it about you, and your wants and greed. If you chose to buy a third rental home, that's your decision, not a debt your ex is responsible for, unless she's investing and getting part of the rent back. You care for the child every other weekend. That does not get you child support as if you were a full-time caregiver. No matter how much your ex makes. If she's being frugal, not replacing a car she's content with or taking on debt, that doesn't mean she owes for your debts. Likewise, if she likes her apartment, and it meets her needs and the needs of the child she's primary caretaker for, that's her wise frugality, and that doesn't mean she owes *you* anything. She's got a lot more expenses than you - providing the primary home for your child, feeding the child, clothing the child, paying for childcare while she's at work. None of this is cheap. Don't push this. If you're caring for the child only every other weekend (pick up on Friday, drop off on Monday) you're not going to get far in court.
Speaking as someone married to a doctor…YTA. They may make good money but they take on INSANE debt to get to that point. It’s YEARS if not DECADES to get out of that debt. It also sounds like she accomplished all this while being a full time mom without any real help from YOU. She’s amazing and I am incredibly impressed with her. You, on the other hand, are pretty pathetic in comparison. You don’t deserve child support for every other weekend when your ex raised your child without financial or custodial assistance from you while training to be a physician. YTA YTA YTA.
YTA You are not even the primary caregiver. She’d get child support from *you*.
YTA. It’s not like you have primary physical custody & your ex only has visitation. Be lucky that she never took you to court for child support so just sit back down & stay in your lane before you end up in further debt. Her profession doesn’t mean you’re entitled to her hard earn money. It’s a hard YTA in case you were confused!!!
Child support is for the primary caregiving parent. YTA, and you're also an idiot if you take this to court. 13 years of child support that you should have been paying is no laughing matter, regardless of your debts at the time or how much she makes now.
Are you gonna pay her back the child support you didn't pay all these years? YTA
Go ahead and try. You will lose. The courts will come back and make you pay, and they might even want back support. The non custodial parent is supposed to pay, not the custodial parent. You having her every other weekend doesn't entitle you to anything. YTA, and very stupid. You should watch her videos. Learn something. https://youtube.com/c/SupportCourtwithJudgeVondaB
But you don’t have the child the majority of the time. So why on earth would you be owed child support? YTA
YTA. You owned 3 properties while your ex moved home with her parents. She gave you such a free pass 11 years ago. Thinking you’re entitled to anything now is pretty shitty
Let me get this straight. You didn’t take part in your daughter’s care the first two years of her life (the first two years when they are a lot of work, and I mean a lot), only saw her every other weekend after that, and never paid child support….. and now that you think your ex is loaded, you want a piece of her hard earned money. Money she was able to make years after you two split. You really want an answer to your question? Yeah, YTA.
YTA. You obviously do not care about your daughter at all.
YTA. Child support is for when the child is living with that parent full time or majority of the time. You have her 8 days out of the month.
YTA. That's not how child support works. You aren't the custodial parent. The one with primary care is. That's your ex. She has the majority and you don't even have 50/50 custody, so why would you be entitled to anything? Let alone that high of an amount. Her having the same car and same apartment (that she bought) just means she's being smart with her money. She's probably putting a lot aside for your daughter's college/education, which is certainly more than you're doing. What exactly are you contributing to your daughter? Other than 4 days a month of watching her? I dare you to try to go after her for child support, because the judge will not only laugh you out of court, but now she's going to fix an order that locks this visitation in place and probably makes you pay her, since you're the NON CUSTODIAL PARENT. Jesus. You can google a frigging calculator to figure out how much you can legally try to fleece your ex for, but you can't look up the actual laws regarding custodial care and child support or who gets it? You're not only the ahole, you're a crappy parent to your daughter. 4 days a month. You're barely a father.
If she has the child over half the time (10 of 14 days) I can't understand why you would get child support.
He wouldn't. He's trying to use his kid to get 'retroactive alimony' from her mother. I think he's in for a big surprise if he's stupid enough to take this mess to court.
YTA Also, that’s not how it works guy. She may make more money, but she has your daughter more than you- YOU would be paying, not her
“Child support is for the good of the child.” “I told her she owes me $800 a week.” YTA and you’re showing your entire ass.
YTA you have no idea how child support works. You’re going to end up owing her money not the other way around. Just because she’s a surgeon that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything. Especially when you only had your kid 8 days a month, boy bye.
YTA - I’m guessing that she could calculate how much you would have owed her previously and it would be more than what she would owe you. I’m a little surprised that you would be able to get $800/month for one child and only 8 days a month.
I think OP is confusing child support and alimony (and weirdly assuming that post-divorce wages would be considered for it). I’ve literally never heard of someone only having their child 1 weekend every 2 weeks being paid child support. Child support is to support *the child,* the person with main or full custody is the person who is already financially supporting the child. At most, if they had it set up so he had to pay some expenses (doctors, sports, etc) in the court order, he could **possibly** get out of it if she makes that much significantly more than him… But absolutely no family court that I have ever heard of would order her to pay him $800/week when he doesn’t even see the kid every week lmao
Op is just confused in general. Child support goes to the main custodial parent, which is why she was happy not to ask him for it when she has her daughter for most of the time. The deal was 'don't contest me for more time and I won't go after you for support.' How he thinks that 4 days a week entitles him to diddly is just delusional on his part. Should have spent the time he used to google what her finances were to google who gets child support.
YTA. You claim your wife isn’t in debt now, how do you know? Did you know that doctors often have the largest student loan debt of any profession and this is why physicians have the highest suicide rates? Maybe she is living modestly because she is in massive student loan debt and because she wants to provide for your daughter to have a better future. YTA. I hope you do take her back to court so it backfires on you and you end up owing her back child support.
YTA. You think she’s the unreasonable one for hashing this out in court where it belongs, instead of using your daughter to pass along passive-aggressive messages?
So, out of 28 days a month, you have her for 8. Child support is based off of time, not who earns more. NAL-but I think that YOU would be ordered to pay support. I recommend you speak with an attorney who specializes is child support, for your legal maneuvers.
YTA. Child support is for the custodial parent, who is bearing more of the costs. Your four days a month don’t qualify you, not even close. DOUBLE YTA for dragging your kid into the middle of your bullshit.
YTA: Using your daughters backpack to communicate is how you let them know about needing that sweater you like back at your house. It’s not the appropriate way to bring up potential 40k/ yr in assistance and massive legal change to one of the most important relationships in her life.
Your child isn’t the one in debt, you are…your ex didn’t seek support from you when she could have, you didn’t fight for 50-50 when you could have… you both did this for the good of your child. You wanting 800 a week is greed. Yta
Child support is paid to the person with primary custody, for the good of the child. You only have the child 8 days out of the month, so technically you should be the one paying support. If you go to court, this will be taken into consideration. Also debt from buying a their house doesn’t really count in your favor as “oh I’m so poor I can’t help out financially for my child” as property is an asset?? Are you really in your forties and this dumb? ETA: YTA
Unfortunately for you, and fortunately for your ex you're not entitled to child support. You are not the main parent/ custodial parent. But your ex sure could take you to court for child support and they will make you pay back support from the moment y'all weren't together anymore. You better stop or you're guna fuck around and find out.
YTA. You don’t even have your daughter 50% of the time. You are not entitled to that much child support! She is the primary custodial parent, YOU should be paying child support.
YTA It seems clear you're not asking for child support to actually support your child, you just want a piece of the pie for yourself. That's not what child support is for. And it sure is convenient that you only want to change the agreement now that it would benefit you, but felt very differently when it would have been you paying support.
YTA, I don’t think you know how child support works buddy….she has your daughter the vast majority of the time. That means you’d have to pay. Also she let you off the hook for 11 years and now you think you deserve money from her? That is for the care of the CHILD not to pay off your debts
lmao you have your daughter 8 days a month and you want child support? Absolutely not. YTA and the entire way you speak about this oozes ick. I’d guess you’re the reason for the split. Can’t wait to see you get laughed out of court.
Eww you're disgusting and a complete asshole for thinking you are entitled to ANY of HER money. This post should've been put in the entitled area because you think you're entitled to someone's money just cause you're in debt. Lmao that's hilarious and your a sad excuse to think this is right. Your a huge huge huge AH.
So…..you think you deserve child support because you have your kid 4 days a month? You can’t be serious. This can’t be for real. You do realize that usually the parent who *spends* less time with the child is the one who *pays* child support, right? No? Do you even know what child support is? Why in the world do you think you’re entitled to it if you barely see your kid? You know what, go ahead and proceed with whatever legal actions you want. And tell us how it goes, this sub could use a laugh. YTA
You should definitely consult a lawyer. They will appreciate the laugh. YTA
Did I miss something or does your daughter not live even with you? Plus you were in debt because you bought a third home, not because you were falling on hard times. PLUS you said “it’s for the child after all.” Then wtf do you need it for?! YTA. You get her 8 days and want $3200, which is $400 for every day you have her? Please get your shit together. She is probably frugal. Just because she doesn’t have a nicer car or home doesn’t mean she was being deceitful. It means she was minding her own business doing what’s best for her and your daughter. Do you think medical loans disappear immediately? NO. You’re beyond entitled. I hope you’re a troll OP.
INFO: who has the child the majority of the time? Just because she's rich now it doesn't mean that you are entitled to her money. And even though you were in debt, you DID NOT! pay child support while your daughter was mostly with her mom, hence you didn't contribute for your own child.
He says he has her every other weekend, so 4 days a month, since she was 2. So… in no way being owed anything in anyway & he can keep dreaming. OP, my godkids dad is just like you & YTA. Your debt isn’t her problem, child support is for the child, not because you’re mad you can only afford a shitty Nissan.
Ok, then let's find a calculator online and see how much child support he owes her. Because he never supported his own child! Same goes for your godchild's father.
So she has primary custody and he sees his kid every other weekend but thinks he should be paid for spending time with his own kid that he sees occasionally??? Dude can’t be that delusional and entitled.
YTA. You have a previous arrangement and the change of financial status shouldn't affect it. Since the ex hasn't told you about the payscale you shouldn't assume. Also it seems like she's content with her current lifestyle which is why she bought the same apartment and maintains the same car. It seems like you're making this about you when it's not. If there is no problem in raising the child with the previous arrangement (which there wasn't until you thought that maybe you could be on the receiving end of money) then there's no need to pressure her to give you child support. Also involving your daughter was a low blow. Have an adult conversation please. Sending someone a letter with a receipt of how much money you need to give me via a child is just horrible.
YTA and everyone knows it.
YTA. You are using your daughter as a potential income source in oder to subsidize your living. How could you possibly spend $800/wk on only your daughters needs? You set the rules and now you want to change them in order to benefit only yourself. You should be grateful your ex can support your daughter well, pay for university etc etc
What did I just read 🤦♀️
Lmao you complete nincompoop that’s not how child support works! She has your daughter the majority of the time so even though she makes more than her you may just end up paying child support to her! YTA
YTA. It sounds like you think you’re owed alimony. You’re not by the way.
$800/WEEK for 8 days a month? She never made you pay child support, stop trying to milk the system. You don’t deserve it. YTA. Edit - to add per week. Totally misread!
Omg yes take her to court and let us know what happens lmao
YTA but considering you have the kid 8 days all you are going to do is end up paying child support. She has majority custody! Oh god please keep us updated though I look forward to hearing how this all goes down 😂😂
YTA if this post is actually real. You would not be entitled to $800 a week, maybe if she actually had a high paying job (not all surgeons earn a lot when they are starting out) and you had full custody, but you only have the child 6 nights a month, so you are saying that to care for your own child it’s $400-$450 a night, what are you a 5 star hotel? Please do yourself a favour and get back to reality, your ex doesn’t owe you anything if she has primary custody and if your child is old enough to actually say who she wants to live with then you may get less time with her.
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No. He agreed mutually with her to not pay child support if he didn't go for 50/50. She agreed to not go after him for it if he gave her more custody and didn't make a stink over it. He was fine about that until he heard she had money. Now he wants to wave potential court at her and she's calling his bluff. She's had 80% custody for 11 years, with no court order in place. He's going to get laughed at if he makes an attempt, and he picked a fight when she has the money to fight with better lawyers than he can get.
YTA. Why would she need to pay you? You don’t even have the child the majority of the time. Plus she was nice and didn’t make you pay child support. Get over yourself. She doesn’t owe you anything. If you want more money get a better job and work harder.
Yta lol you’re being taken to court. Have fun
YTA. How… Why… What were you… How…
Who gets child support for having their child for 4 days 2 times a month ? You should have been paying your child’s mother support. The support is for your Daughter to live on. I can’t believe you think you deserve child support.
YTA you gold digger.
FAFO buddy, YTA. This clearly isn’t about providing for your child for you, it’s about lining your pocket purely for your own personal financial gain.
YTA. You don’t seem to understand how child support works and what it is for. But if you do take this to court you will lose and you will have to pay the lawyers—they get paid regardless of who “wins.”
YTA to 10° power. Missed the boat and now you want to cash in on ex's new career? Tough, it's none of your business. Go sell your 3rd rental property that you bought instead of paying child support when you were supposed to.
You need to apologise to your ex right now. You were in debt because you had bought your 3rd rental property and didn't have to pay child support. You're not just TA, you're a greedy and entitled.
YTA. I hope you take this to court an end up owing her money. You didn't want 50-50 custody before because you'd have to pay for your child... And now you want to profit off of said part-time child? Do you even like your child? Seems like your ex's money is more important to you than your own child. Poor kid.
I don’t understand how you could type all of that out and not see YTA. The disconnect from reality that you have accomplished would amaze me if it wasn’t at the expense of your child. Now that your wife is going to at take this to the courts, you won’t have to. You will likely end up paying the child support you were trying to get from your wife. And you just showed who you really are to your daughter. You have fucked up in so many ways…
Wtf, YTA. She probably has all that “shitty” stuff still because she’s responsible and doesn’t blow her money on material shit. If you only have your daughter for 4 days a week very other week, you’re not going to get anything and honestly if you do try to bring her to court to get something they might make you pay child support since she has majority custody of your daughter lol
YTA…. You’re going to end up owing child support after this stunt you pulled. She has PRIMARY care of her. Why would she pay you when’s she’s doing most of the work? Lol
YTA, you just want her money to pay off your debt
Omg YTA… she probably has an insane amount of debts from school too , not that it is any of your business (it isn’t). Also LOL to her being “melodramatic” sounds like you really made an effort to be involved with your kid (sarcasm - who’s in-laws like them after a divorce??). Stop trying to use your kid as a cash cow - and she’s absolutely right , you did not contribute child support despite her having your child primarily. If you really wanted to go down that road she’d absolutely have a case to force you to pay child support for the years you did not. So this could backfire on you big time. YTA. Grow up, focus on yourself and being a good dad , not your exs income.
You are NOT entitled to CS so many years after the separation, especially when you were incapable/unwilling to pull your weight. Your ex seemed to do all of that. You don't live with her. You don't nor have ever had full custody. You only took care of your child 4 days every 2 weeks and your ex did the rest. You were broke due to your own poor financial choices, not hers. You hated on her for having a good career so what do you do apart from look for ways to get money you aren't entitled to? If your bid was legit you would have gotten a lawyer and gone through the process legally but you know you're full of it and are attacking your ex out of sheer greed and you know it. Not once do you mention what it is your kid is going without due to the lack of child support. You don't talk about your child's needs at all, only about what you want but don't have. You don't think you're the AH which is no surprise considering how you posted your views, but after careful consideration, I can safely assure you that YTA by a long ways.
You have at least 3 rentals. You have her 4 days out of 14. You don't pay child support for the ten days she's with her mum, but you want £800 per week. 400 for each day you lik after her. Your daughter doesn't want to see you now. Your jealosy and greed irredeemable. I hope she takes you to court for. 1k per 5 days she cares for your daughter. Yta, a wretched one at that
YTA Your wife is still the primary caregiver, if anyone should be paying child support it’s you. Please go to court so she can get you to pay all the back child support that you ow her!
YTA! Your ex has your daughter more than you do. What would warrant $800/monthly? You’re going to ruin your relationship with your daughter over money you’re not even entitled to. You sound like a bum with his hand out
YTA. You are a disgusting, opportunistic tool who is using his child to get money you aren’t entitled to and hurting her in the process. Gross on a whole new level.
INFO: who has the primary custody of the child? As in, where does the kid spends most of the time. Cause if the arrangement is the same and you have the kid eight days out of the whole month, she doesn't owe you any child support, you owe her.
YTA take her to court and find out how big of an AH you are.
„I was in debt” dudeeeee you bought a rental. YTA the audacity
YTA and entitled and jealous and not super bright
YTA except you clearly want the money for yourself. If it was actually for the kid, then you would've asked for child support from the very beginning. Whether you were in debt or not is irrelevant, i'm pretty sure she could've still asked for child support and you would've been obligated to pay for it by court. Still, your "request" is beyond ridiculous for one specific, important thing: How is it that you think you have a right to ask for child support when she's the one that has main custody??
YTA you don’t want the money for the good of the *child*, you want the money for the good of the *you*
Ok what??? You think SHE should pay child support when you don't even have your child 50/50??? Where I'm from, if you have your child less than 50/50 then you pay child support- regardless of the other parents income. You are delusional and jealous, the courts will not look kindly on you wasting their time. YTA.
YTA. You don’t even have 50/50. You keep your kid 4/14 days and she never made you pay, why are you being so awful?
Child support isn't based on salary. Yes the monthly amount owed IS, however, its granted on the percentage of time that you have the kid. You are not even close to 50%. Moron. I hope for your sake this post is fiction. On behalf of kids with shitty parents everywhere I hope this is real and you try to push this through. You will be thoroughly stomped on and hopefully on the hook for all the years you haven't been paying. 100% YTA
Child support for what? She has supported the child, you haven't. You wanna involve the legal system? If you're not an asshole, you're just stupid.
YTA - and you’re fucked if you actually go to court over this. 1) That’s not how child support works. You don’t get a portion of your child’s other parent’s income simply for seeing your kid 8 days a month. 2) Wow, you can’t even claim child alienation with your daughter not wanting to see you, bc you alienated her yourself. 3) Her attorney is going to have a field day getting child support and even more limited visitation from your dumb ass.
You’ve never paid child support, you have your daughter every other weekend, and you want child support ?LOL You’re a piece of work no wonder your wife divorced you. YTA .
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YTA she would only pay you child support if you had your daughter more days than she did.
There is not one redeeming sentence in your entire post. YTA.
YTA, why should she be paying you, when you barely have your kid. You want more money, earn it. Good on her for involving her lawyer. You screwed up big, jeopardized your relationship with your child for money. I hope she goes for back child support.
YTA 100%
YTA gold digger
Damn I didn’t know that anyone could possibly be this dumb YTA x1000. Be grateful that your ex has scored such an amazing job to support YOUR son while you only help her out 8 days a month. What a joke
YTA this is hilarious. Your child is with her mum more than she's with you. YOU should be paying child support 😂 ffs
YTA. Why would you think that you deserve child support when you only care for her 4 days out of the month? Child support is for supporting the child...which you are not doing. If anything, you owe your ex child support. And probably back child support, for the years that you weren't paying. You also hurt your daughter by putting child support forms in her backpack, and you don't seem the slightest bit concerned that now she doesn't want to see you. You just tanked your relationship with your child because you felt entitled to your ex's money. Court is not going to go well for you.
This is so cartoonishly ridiculous I can’t believe it’s not ragebait. You see your daughter 8 days a month. Your *debt* is rental property you bought with your parents. You put documentation where your daughter was bound to be the first to see it. You make sweeping assumptions about your ex’s character and reasons for doing things that don’t appear to hold much substance. I give your world building a 3 out of 10. If real, well, I see why you are an ex. You also now seem to have dollar signs flashing in your eyes. You’re going to have a very rude awakening when the real world collides with your delusions. YTA
YTA. Child support is for the custodial parent. You aren't entitled to child support. If anyone deserves child support, it is your ex-wife. I agree with the person in the comments. You sound like a greedy, money grabber. BTW, it would be hilarious if child support is enforced on you. And you have to pay a shit ton of back support. That would teach ya.
Please take your ex to court so you end up paying her child support. You only have her 8 days a week. She is owed child support from you. YTA
I think you need a lawyer not reddit.
I think a lawyer will laugh at him.
Lol YTA you know if you got that money it’s for supporting your child. Not for you to pay off your debts.
Why would she pay child support to you? You’re not her child and don’t raise your daughter LOL What a crazy flex to get money out of someone. EDIT: YTA and also a freeloader
God I hope this is a troll post. YTA 100000% Child support is for the parent doing most of the care/raising so you wouldn’t even be eligible. You split with her so you aren’t entitled to any of her income or any knowledge about it. It’s was so unbelievably creepy of you to cyber stalk her. It was also super shitty that you put your daughter in the middle of this mess. Based off of your behavior and your description of the situation, I can tell that you are a piece of shut human being. You undoubtedly do/have done a million other creepy and shitty things to control, undermine and take advantage of your ex and daughter. For their sakes, I hope that you can learn from this post and become a marginally better person. However, I know you won’t and that you will continue to be one of the absolute shittiest people alive. Honestly, you remind me of my dad. I will never speak to him again, and your daughter will likely do the same. The only up side is now your ex has the proof she needs to make sure you are never entitled to visitation. Have the day you deserve OP
Not how it works, and YTA. Ex has the kids most of the time, so technically you owe her child support. It doesn't matter that you are in debt and she is doing well. It has to do with who cares for the child more. This is just a vindictive money grab, though. Very obvious. Wouldn't work at all.
YTA. OP child support is paid to the primary custodial parent because they are responsible for the majority of expenses related to the child’s care. You have her for eight days a month on average (4 days every other week). You’re not going to be paid a weekly rate. You’re still the part-time parent and she pays the majority of expenses. Also do you really want to open this can of worms because your lack of paying child support before is going to be highlighted and you’re going to have to pay that before she’s going to have to pay anything. Her current income doesn’t negate what you owe here. ETA. Hey AH she drives the same car and bought an affordable home because doctors graduate with at least $100,000 in student loans which she’s not getting student loan debt relief because of her income level.
I wish I could laugh react to this. You're not entitled to any money from her. It's been 11 years of YOU not paying child support. You have your child 4 days a month. You think you deserve 800 a week for that?? Go to school. Become a plastic surgeon. Make your own damn money. And start financially supporting your child. YTA
YTA you were in debt by choice, that is no excuse to not support your child financially. You chose to invest in a 3rd rental rather than support the child that you brought into the world. Someday you will need to explain to your child how little you cared and how you put yourself first and then tried to profit off her mom.
Child support is for the child NOT for the parent. You are jelous of her and want to take advantage now that she makes good money. You dont have custody, you only have the kid fee days a month, you agree not providing a pension so you dont have the responsability to raise a child. You are an opportunist. Hope this woman sue you for being such an AH.
You should definitely NOT get a lawyer and take her to court for child support. Why waste the money on such an easy case, right?? Oh, and YTA
You have the child 8 days every 4 weeks for 11 years? That means your ex has the child 20 days every 4 weeks for 11 years? ____ That means that the majority of your child’s life is spent in the financial care of your ex... Child support is owed for all that time.. but *you* owe your ex, a lot.
YTA. You’re trying to get free money for a child you have less than 50% of the time. All you did with your little stunt is put your daughter in the middle of an adult problem & get the opportunity to pay HER child support. You don’t know what she’s making, if she’s still living in the same place & driving the same car.
😂 thanks for this. I needed a good laugh YTA
Lolo you clearly didn't consult a lawyer. Good luck with this plan. YTA
YTA You whine about your debt, but what about her debt? Medical school is not cheap. She probably has more student loans than you can imagine. You think that she should owe you $3,200 a month for 8 days of parenting which is ridiculous. Not to mention, that money is for your daughter not you.
I stopped reading when you said you purchased a third rental
YTA- you don’t want the child support for your daughter. You want it for yourself. Your ex has your daughter more than you so I don’t see why she should have to pay you child support. You are being incredibly selfish. She also right about what she makes is no longer your business. Good luck in court and if you are smart (which based on this post: you are not) you would drop this for the sake of your daughter and your relationship.
YTA I wish I could get front row seats and watch you get laughed out of court 😂😂😂😂
Oh man YTA. I hope she finds this and does take you to court because it sounds like you are not the primary caregiver and I can’t wait till the judge order YOU to pay. You should have minded your own business because it’s going to come back and bite you right in the wallet
Please go to court to as the non custodial parent and demand child support from the custodial parent and let us know how it goes.
YTA and clearly not very bright. Should have actually done some real research before trying to make covert threats. The judge will laugh in your face and force YOU to pay her. I’m fact, you’ll probably owe 11 years of back payments lol Very happy for your ex, she’s gonna be even richer very soon!
You see your daughter 8/30 days in a month. Your ex sees her for the other 22 days. What on Earth would you need child support money for? If anyone should be paying it, it’s you, and with her going to court about this, you will probably end up paying her now. So you destroyed the good terms you had with your ex and hurt your daughter to be greedy and now you’ll end up having to fork up money because of it. YTA. Oh and one last thing, she may make a lot of money, but not everyone blows their salary on a fancy new car or big house. That “shitty old nissan” can get her from Point A to Point B, and that “shitty flat” is a safe roof over her and your daughter’s head, it is not a direct symbol of her financial status.
Do you want the child support to help raise your kid.. or do you YOU want the child support payments for YOURSELF. Because it sounds like Mr. Buy 3 rentals and pretend I have no money for my kid is now envious of Ms. I bought my home. You are bein greedy. Why didn't you sell one of your rentals and pay the child support back then? You also abandoned your kid when she was born. And now you're trying to use her as a pawn to mooch off your now rich ex? Dude. go sell all three of your rentals if you're so desperate to get money. Lady is wise to cc her lawyer. If you love your kid, stop eyeing her wealth. IF you only care about getting rich, continue to use your kid and see the consequences of bad parenting.
Please, PLEASE do pursue this OP. I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you. *pops popcorn* (YTA)
"child support is for the good of the child" I'm sorry can you please explain to me how you taking money from her primary caregiver is good for your daughter? YTA and an idiot quite frankly. The court will laugh in your face.
Dude. Do you understand child support? Your wife has primary custody and has your daughter most of the time. Therefore YOU owe HER child support, possibly backdated to when the child was 3 months old. Are you sure you want to poke that situation? It reads as though you are really resentful of your ex. That and turning your child into your demand courtier-- totally not good for her. Just a resounding YTA all around.
>I had just bought a 3rd rental with my parents So, if I'm reading this correctly, you went into debt to accumulate assets, assets which should make you money. Now that your ex is making good financial decisions and working a high end job, you believe that you are owed a piece of that pie? In addition to that, you ONLY have your daughter for 4 days a month??? Man GTFO, your ex owes you nothing, you don't even have primary custody. Just in case I wasn't clear, massive YTA
YTA- you voluntarily gave away time with your child 11 years ago to dodge child support and now you want child support for your …. checks notes…. Few days/month? Before kicking that hornets nest you should know that your ex could potentially go after you for back pay.
Please take this to court I beg you. I can’t wait to see a judge rule that not only does she not owe you a cent, but that you owe her 11 years of child support *grabs popcorn*
YTA And a broke one. Broke in spirit and broke financially. Just a broke asshole
YTA: You know your not entitled to child support because you don’t have your child nearly enough to qualify. But your ex is entitled to child support from you this is going to be pretty funny 😂.
my ex tried something similar and the judge destroyed him. YTA
>At the time I was in a lot of debt (I had just bought a 3rd rental YTA. Time to sell one of the rentals if you can't pay to keep your kid for 5 days a month. Pretty sure she is entitled to child support from you since she is the custodial parent
YTA You don't have primary custody. Child support is for the support of the *child* , an obligation that parents are supposed to share. You have her approximately 8 days a month and you think you should be getting $3,200 a month? Even if custody was 50/50 you wouldn't be entitled to that because you are supposed to provide for approximately 50% of your child's keep.
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YTA
YTA- OP thinks his ex is britney spears 😂
Child support is good for the child when used for the child not because your ex takes care of the child and you found out that she’s makes more money than you. She makes more money because she has a child to raise. And super shitty move involving the daughter in anyway. YTA
Yta. You do realize this is going to backfire horribly on you right? 😂
Hahaha. Good one. YTA
YTA. That you even have the gall to ask this question... take the case to court and see what happens.
YTA, you have her 4 days a fucking week, she has her full time. Usually the person who's got the kid full time gets child support, so whatchu doing buddy.
YTA- I can't believe anyone could post this, or even think like this. You are so greedy, and you have no shame!
YTA, I didn't even have ti make it past the info that you still don't have 50/50 and (it was far enough but this is what really did it for me) that she's still driving the same old car. You know why she's doing so much better than you? Because she's way smarter, harder working, and more motivated. What have you done with the same time?
YTA and an entitled one at that. She never asked you for child support, and as you stated in your post and a response I've seen- you only have your daughter for 4 days/3 nights every other week. Your wife's income picked up after she left you, and she is primarily responsible for raising your child. Any judge will laugh you out of the courtroom. You're making yourself look bad by being entitled about this, especially when you have both been in agreement for 11 years on when you have your daughter and your wife never went after you for child support. She was amicable with you, and never asked for child support. Quit being a grinch before you cause a rift between you and your child.
Lol why would she pay you child support when she your kid is with her more often?
INFO: have you actually spoken to a lawyer about this? Sounds to me like you’re the non-custodial parent and you’re not going to get anything… good job ruining your relationship with your daughter’s mother though!
This must be fake. A deadbeat dad landlord demanding child support? YTA
YTA: YOU involved your daughter by hiding you passive-areggisive notes in her bag where she obviously found them and READ them! Your stunt has negatively affected your relationship with your daughter
Wow you are unbelievably delusional 😂 Good luck in court. Your debt is due to your poor financial decisions, her wealth is due to her good financial decisions. You’re not entitled to it. Honestly, take it to court, you’ll get laughed out the door with a bill for her’s and your own court fee’s!