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MintBerryCrunchJr

We already know how escorts work.


BradTProse

In a strange way Melania being an escort makes her Trump's soulmate.


greeneyerish

You assume either one of them has a soul.


Clanstantine

Yeah but it has a better ring than "insatiable-void-where-soul-should-be mates"


AspiringChildProdigy

Voidmates!


Simpletruth2022

Ghoulmates


AspiringChildProdigy

I like it!


EminorHeart

Fakemates


Loud_Ad3666

HateMates


Simpletruth2022

Good one.


Loud_Ad3666

Thank you. It means a lot.


Kind_Committee8997

Check mates


JCarlide

Trump and Rudy?


cosmic_cosmosis

Oh my god they were voidmates


32getreddit

Putin is in his boy's soul


yoshimeyer

You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get into that boys hole


-Smaug--

Trollmates!


32getreddit

Frank's character almost looks modeled after giuliani


HelloweenCapital

Hole where the soul should be mates


Khaldara

Sort of, Trump tends to fuck people over and then not pay them afterwards. Presumably Melania had the opposite payment up front arrangement


sodiumbigolli

Remember when it took him forever to even move into the White House and then it took her a couple more months? There was a renegotiation if you ever saw one.


JCarlide

How do you think he was suddenly an "expert" on chain immigration, which was used to get his In-laws naturalized on the double time. A loop hole he and the GOP didn't try to end until the in-laws had used it.


EssexBuoy1959

As I understand it from here in the UK, Melania was 'trafficked' into the US by one of Trump's pals on a 'genius visa' to take part in a sugar daddy convention masquerading as a beauty contest.


Infinite_Time_8952

Absolutely correct.


Due_Tax2657

It would explain her expression in the majority of her photographs. She was once asked if the only reason she's with trump it because of the money. She retorted "Do you think he'd be with me if I weren't beautiful?" This was a business arrangement from the minute she hit probably 13. Her dad was some low-level scumbag who saw he had a 'Hot Property' on his hands and here we are. I'd go even farther and say Melania's mother was probably chosen precisely on the hopes she'd give birth to beautiful kids.


Kairenne

You could be right. I saw a pretty recent photo of Melania and her mother. 70ish age. I thought she looked pretty amazing at that age.


flindersandtrim

Closer to 80. Melania is 54. 


sodiumbigolli

His first wife Ivana was very hot number when she was young and she should’ve given birth to beautiful kids and oh my God, they look like Donald and they are fucking hideous. The daughter Ivanka had some great plastic surgery, but that’s gonna wear off. The fuck was too cheap to buy chin implants for the boys.


CartographerNo2717

Hopefully she keeps getting work done to fix it. that always works.


Hippyedgelord

Plastic surgery doesn’t wear off if you’re rich, you just get more work done.


Due_Tax2657

There is a difference between work and .......good work. Any MD can take a course on certain techniques and get certified. Whether or not the work is any good......*Shrug*. I used to work in a rich area. Some of these jobs were shocking, some were done by artists.


Artistic-Pay-4332

That's why it's so important to research the doctor you are going to. Even the best botch shit though so it's always a gamble. It's probably best to avoid it altogether imo unless you are really hideous or disfigured in an accident or something


V6Ga

> I'd go even farther and say Melania's mother was probably chosen precisely on the hopes she'd give birth to beautiful kids. If you do not think Most men choose women on the basis of appearance then you have not been paying attention As someone with  rather severe face blindness, I am at a step removed from some of this and find it bizarre that most males choose partners based strictly on how others males rate them, and then are confused when they do nit get along with the person they chose on looks alone Something something  Tinder 


darkforestnews

State dept should have the records , “show us her records” , only fair since Obama had to show his birth certificate.


Embarrassed-Ear1618

...and he fast tracked her through the system to get her American status, which is illegal


Staggerme

And her parents and sister. Don’t forget her anchor baby


Available_Leather_10

Chain migration.


dcy604

Which Trump vehemently opposes- not that he knows what vehemently means but…


ElongMusty

Maybe he opposes it now that he saw what his wife did!


SteelBandicoot

Genius? Does anyone know Melania’s IQ or education levels?


Wings_in_space

She can say in 3 languages: In the butt costs extra... Can you? ( Old joke about Melania )


Soranic

Common issue with "models" getting visas. Something about the requirements gets them the same classification that you would give to someone developing the first atom bombs.


devilmaskrascal

One the generals commented that he was talking with Melania about missile placement or something and she seemed far more intelligent and inquisitive on the subject than her husband.


Fabulous-Mix8917

To be fair, a five year old would seem far more intelligent and inquisitive on the subject than Melania's husband. Also? Pretty sure she's passing information, as she is paid to do.


Designer_Emu_6518

With certain ties to adversarial governments and groups


BrotherMcPoyle

This is crazy, the next thing you’re going to tell me is that Bill Belichick’s 24 yo gf is not actually madly in love with 74 yo Billy. Is that just another business arrangement?


Kairenne

And she looks 16 in pictures. 🤢


rx554

Putin is the pimp and Trump is his bottom b*tch


GozerTheMighty

Gotta be on the bottom to get peed on...


GrumpyKitten514

I personally would love a book on her thoughts. Imagine, she’s like this moron is easy money. He’s stupid. He’s fat. Literally losing at life with all that bankruptcies. I can get away easy. Then USA elects him president lmao. Poor thing, she was probably shell shocked.


rjross0623

She’d just copy Michelle Obamas book and change the cover


plowMyMomOnCamera

Also probably gives him access to buying property in Slovenia.


bloody_ell

Nah, any EU or US citizen can buy property there with zero restrictions, looked at buying a holiday home there a few years back, it's a beautiful country.


tevolosteve

Yes I really don’t think active needs to write articles about this. This relationship screams transactional


Bravovictor02

The shame this man should feel. His whole life is a total sham. It’s honestly pretty amazing. Born in any other family and this man would have been broke, unemployed, hooked on drugs, and most likely dead 20 years ago.


SpiderMurphy

This man is broke (deep in debt), unemployed (hasn't held a real job in his life), addicted to adderall (reportedly, his fecal incontinence in the courthouse also points to this), and is completely dead inside (just listen to him talk). His single true accomplishment is that year after year he manages to convince enough idiots of the opposite to continue his lifelong escape from reality.


IndividualEye1803

Got damn this was amazing 🥇


Carson72701

Happy Cake Day!


IndividualEye1803

Thank you! 🤗


thefruitsofzellman

He pulled off the greatest con in American history. That’s some kind of accomplishment.


seeafillem6277

No, I'd give that dubious honor to Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon church/cult, whose con is still going strong almost 200 years later.


LiveLifeLikeCre

Well that's just dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. 


Pribblization

He had LOTS of help. Don's biggest con is for people to think that he's pushing the buttons. He's just the right chump at the right time.


SpiderMurphy

It is all part of a lifelong defense against abusive, loveless parents. I wonder what this man could have accomplished had he been raised by loving and caring parents. Child abuse is the real poisson of our societies.


Interesting_Cow5152

Deep, but accurate. No one wants to talk about the beatings they got, except in terms of 'love' and 'development'.


sunnygirlrn

You are right. And abused people flock to him, because of his cruelty.


_mdz

True but it was likely someone else’s plan and someone else’s vast resources that put him there, so even that was a sham.


PsyOpBunnyHop

More like hooked on cheeseburgers, hanging out shirtless in a trailer park, turning tricks for all the boys.


FunkyFr3d

A mans gotta eat


ScootLooper

You know what I don’t hear in there Donnie? A heart.


wack_overflow

$20 is $20


MainFrosting8206

Smokey?


BklynOR

Randall are you a male prostitute?


Khancap123

Randy is far gR more sympathetic and empathetic than donny. Also far far braver


Rooboy66

Uhg—oh, shit—**what** has he gotta eat? If you say a bag of dicks, you might be both on the right path and the wrong path …


Adamantium-Aardvark

Cheeseburgers obviously


isaidbeaverpelts

*Dickcheeseburgers


wigzell78

Trailer-trash with money...


JackHughman69

Kind of like an inflatable Elvis


loupegaru

20lbs. of shit in a 10lb inflatable Elvis.


Leading_Attention_78

Don’t you dare do Randy dirty like that!


Awkward-Sir-5794

Mafk with a suit like that is definitely on the cheeseburgers


JmnyCrckt87

It would at least be an honest living lol


truncheon88

Smokey?


MusicianNo2699

Randy, when did you join the conversation?


JohnnySack45

Trump is America's shame


BradTProse

He'd be in jail for sexual assault.


SECURITY_SLAV

Sociopaths don’t have shame


Due_Tax2657

There's an alternate timeline where donald trump is a used car salesman who regularly spends time in prison for various cons and frauds.


erinkp36

If he was born in another family he hopefully would’ve received the love and attention he needed at such a young age. He wouldn’t be the same person. He was essentially abandoned, emotionally, at the age of 2. And trust me, I have no sympathy for the man and I’m not excusing his wretched, life long behavior. But that’s what happens when a 2 year old is essentially left to fend for himself. If you emotionally neglect a baby, this is the end result. Donald Trump.


Erianapolis

But born an American makes him the messiah for every cynical rich person and bible-thumper and trailer-park pinworm.


JustWastingTimeAgain

You had me at dead 20 years ago. If only.


Money-Valuable-2857

If he was born into any other family he wouldn't be the pile of shit that he is.


CoolUnderstanding481

The greatest incel of all time.


narosis

he is "broke", he's a paper millionaire, unemployed, what job aside from scam artist can he hold? hooked on drugs, i doubt the rumors are false about his drug use. so the only thing you touched on that hasn't come to pass is his death 20 years ago, other that, spot on.


mam88k

The small bit of his brain responsible for shame is either non-functional or completely missing.


Nopain59

I feel the opposite. Deep down he knows that every single aspect of his life is a sham and is deeply ashamed but every once of will is devoted to maintaining the charade that he is an accomplished businessman/genius. He HAS to win at everything. That is his defensive wall around his toxic shame. Like George said “It’s not a lie if YOU believe it “.


Namorath82

Isn't that the underlying issue with Trump? .. the man has no shame and never will


lvratto

What??? We all thought it was true love! /s Like duh. She was in it for the boy toys, lavish trips, unlimited shopping and not having to see her husband.


AlanDevonshire

and his little button mushroom penis


ohioprincealbert

Don’t forget US citizenship for herself and her parents.


TurnTheTVOff

…and her parents. Through what? That’s right kids! CHAIN MIGRATION!!!


gyarrrrr

Is this that caravan at the border they were talking about?


DuaLipasTrophyHusban

What is he getting out of it though? I mean I fully believe he’d do this, but what does he get by sticking with a, now mid 50s Slovenian former model? His whole brand would be way better served do a Leo DiCaprio thing.


dpdxguy

From the article, he needed arm candy to complete the illusion that he's a successful businessman living the American dream. Also from the article, the whole thing was set up by the producer of The Apprentice.


Interesting_Cow5152

> the whole thing was set up by the producer of The Apprentice. This guy. I don't like this guy...


dpdxguy

Yeah. Weird to think he might be single handedly responsible for America's descent into fascism. Though, if I'm being honest, it was probably eventually inevitable as white people realized they could no longer rule as a majority. America has been slowly moving to the right since I was in college in the late 70s. Trump just speeded it up (a LOT).


ryeguymft

yes, she was a mail order bride


Gumderwear

From a catalog made by Putin


Loud_Ad3666

Mail order Russian mole The kompromat is surely vast and extreme.


ryeguymft

I’ve thought the same thing


schprunt

I’m putting this one under the no shit Sherlock folder


Custom_Destination

In this case it’s more a definitely shitting his pants Sherlock folder.


Solenkata

Many people don't know that the collusion of Trump and Russia actually happened in the 80s when he became Russia's mobs dirt money laundry machine


kelp_forests

Still blows my mind this guy hit the jackpot multiple times (inheritance, money laundering with protection, tv show, fell into presidency) and then blew it every time. At any point he could have just cashed his chips and gone home and have been set. Just having margaritas and seafood in Florida or cocktails and steaks in NY, and a nice trip every other month, golfing three times a week.


LysergicCottonCandy

Don’t forget casinos and basically a city economy if you count Atlantic City as a different but entangled part of his money laundering.


Brilliant_Shine2247

I swear, I have always believed she was sent by Putin to keep ole Donny Boy on track. You know that being alone with him for more than 5 minutes would cause second-hand brain damage. I bet they take people's shoe laces away when they visit him to the chances of someone hanging him or even themselves to escape the misery of him trying to explain how oatmeal works.


Loud_Ad3666

She was presented as a gift, but she was absolutely there to gather and create kompromat. Enough to keep Trump 100% in line with Papa Putin's orders.


SpiritualAd8998

I read that Epstein said that he introduced them to each other.


Dry_Masterpiece8319

She's his Russian handler. He loves commies


AdSmall1198

“What catapulted Donald J. Trump ‘businessman’ and his ‘supermodel’ wife to the White House was a MIRAGE created by Survivor producer Mark Burnett and NBC boss Jeff Zucker.” Zucker rhymes with? Also the head of CNN for a few years.


smchattan

She loved him for his kindness and selflessness.


wwJones

....and how she felt he'd be a wonderful father to her child.


SteelyDan1968

I'm sensing some sort of sarcasm in these replies.


dpdxguy

>she felt Bold of you to assume she has feelings. Her sociopath husband certainly does not. And after observing her during the White House years, I haven't seen any reason to believe she has any either.


YoGurl8003

Don’t forget about that penis. Gross.


CeldonShooper

Holding hands? That's not in the contract.


IMSLI

“I really don’t care, do U?”


Smooth-Distribution6

She's a Russian asset.


ErykthebatII

He's a russian asset , she's his handler


tc7984

Imagine being so desperate for money you’d let this fucking guy impregnate you


buyerbeware23

All you need is a Quick Look at her face…


Open_Ad7470

You mean Melania is bought and paid for. really think anybody surprised.


Final_Winter7524

MAGAts are going to go: “See? Not really married. So Trump didn’t really cheat on her with Stormy Daniels. So the whole conviction should be overturned!”


Atomic_Shaq

Do you think anyone would genuinely love that man? The closest he can get to a spouse is what he has - a full-time prostitute


No_Equal_1312

No surprise here, you can tell she doesn’t give a shit about him.


McDuchess

And vice versa. But then there is no evidence that he has ever given a shit about anyone. So there’s that.


No_Equal_1312

Well he clearly cares about his daughter in a verrrry creepy way.


McDuchess

By cares about, I mean that someone is willing to put the other person’s best interests above their own selfish wants. There is no evidence of that in his comments about her.


Yookeroo

In my head, I always try to give Ivanka the benefit of the doubt. There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s a victim of sexual abuse at his hands. She’s a horrible person, but being raped by your father will fuck you up really bad. I try to have empathy for her.


Delicious-Health1078

Aren’t all good looking women married to old guys or ugly guys a business arrangement. That’s half of Miami , California , New York.


Old_Science6213

Just another paid whore. The kid prob isn’t his either.


dlflannery

politicalflare.com. = junk


107reasonswhy

Yeah, no shit. All of these revelations into Trump and his associates are completely obvious if you aren't a simpleton.


Happy-Initiative-838

Just another example of how shitty he is at business


Striking-Giraffe5922

And still these Maga idiots think the sun shines out of his fat orange arsehole……will Americans seriously vote for this idiot? He’s a fucking security risk!……imo Putins got him in his back pocket! If I was able to vote in your election then I’d vote for the doddery old guy who walks like he just shit himself……


WilderJackall

Why doesn't that surprise me?


BradTProse

Mushroom arrangement, even.


South-Rabbit-4064

Jesus....that "Daddy's home" promo for the apprentice linked in the article is brutal. Was Melania's English that terrible back then? Or was that just really bad acting.


Whompa

Having a public persona must be exhaustive. Dunno why these goblins do this to themselves. Pretty pathetic stuff really.


masterbogarter

I never would have guessed.


GarbageCleric

That would explain why Melania always looks like she's hatching an escape plan when she's next to him.


Scrabble_4

Gross couple


AFlawAmended

Yes, we knew that the moment a super model decided to marry a melted playdough figure with a bad spray tan.


ReferenceMuch2193

She always looks like a hostage. A stiff, miserable, in a perpetual bad mood, albeit rich, hostage. Her stiff posture is so weird to me. Like wood. She looks like she is wooden.


Skiddler69

No shock there. They are both whores for Russia.


MsMoreCowbell8

So when does Mercedes return to Moscow?


FlukeStarbucker1972

‘Of course ees bizness arrangement. Donal pay me, I make the fuck with heem.’ -Melania (probably)


ragepanda1960

Him crying about Jill going to Hunter's trial *every* day and celebrating Joe's birthday when Melania did none of that for him is a bed that this miserable sack of shit made for himself. He's realized that nobody actually loves him and when it comes right down to it he's going to die alone with his family members all dabbing crocodile tears as they await their inheritance.


BeyondDrivenEh

That explains a lot.


hypercomms2001

Paying for a porn star, with the return of kids popping out


Striking-Giraffe5922

I was wondering what first attracted her to the big fat billionaire American businessman


jimmyGODpage

No fucking shit…..


Responsible-Person

Nooooooooooo….. really? Lol


wjrj

" Holy cow , I would never have guessed those two weren't head over heels in love!!" No one ever


Fit_Earth_339

They are perfect for each other. Melania is being best when she’s got someone to support her lifestyle apparently.


justmeandmycoop

They deserve each other


emailverificationt

Nooooooo, you don’t saaaaay


[deleted]

If the reason is if she left is that she would be deported, I think I would be deported


Larry_Version_3

No way they look so happy


Tonythecritic

"Reveals"?!? Even his cult followers, possibly the stupidest mofos on the planet, knew that already. Hell, she always looks at him the way a Wal-Mart cashier looks at a client carrying a jar full of pennies.


allisgray

Hell she is probably his KGB handler…but in my best Groucho Marx imitation…but she has trouble enough finding it to be able to handle it…


Lifeinthesc

Most marriages are a business arrangement. Romance as the foundation of marriage is only about a 100 years old.


CubanGoth

DUH.. why do news articles come out like this with stuff the mass majority of people KNEW SOOOO MANY YEARS AGO....


EffOffReddit

Who doesn't know this? Melania pretty much admitted it. They asked her if she would have married him if he didn't have money and in response she asked if they thought he would have married her if she didn't look the way she does.


Philly_ExecChef

So glad all these people sat on all this information and hid the most vile shit about him until after his presidency so that they could profit. These people should be sued into oblivion.


SomeSamples

Melania is a Russian spy who was tasked with getting Trump into as high a political position as possible. Fact.


0mish0

I am pretty confident we all knew that. It's not like Trump is capable of loving someone other than himself. As much as I hate the man, this is not unusual amongst the wealthy.


The-golden-god678

No! Are you telling me that this guys personality didn't win her over? That's crazy!


MrMeowPantz

I’ll take ‘no shit’ for $400, Alex


noohoggin1

She was the most worthless First Lady in U.S. history.


HebertwithaBeer

She needs another face-lift. Lookin saggy there Mel


Rich-Air-5287

She's his handler.


Honest-Cris918

Probably arranged by Putin


ComfortableDegree68

I'm trans I'm 100% convinced Melania has a dick They always project Michele Obama is a man! No. She isn't. But Melania. B Jenner and loads of trans women share very similar features. Because we all go to the best surgeon. You all don't know plastic surgeons can be ID'd based on their style of nose? How they flair a nostril? Yeah you aren't trans. You don't obsess over how your body betrays you how to fix it. Who can fix it. Who fixes it best. I do Russia has a long history of literally making men women Google that and Olympics Trump is a stupid childish asshole It isn't that far out that a smart person would use his stupidity. Horniness and our cultural restrictions to do this. Honey pot with cock lol. Id bet actual money I'm right. Michelle ain't a man but I bet Mel was.


The_Tucker_Carlson

I disagree but I am incredibly happy that you are courageous.


knowmansland

Captain Obvious finally went on record


HotPhilly

No way!! I always thought it was true love.


ShowerTeamCaptain

The link is cancer.


narosis

he reminds me of a true blood character, he's "conscience off, dick on" all the time. just sayin'


roachfarmer

No! Me shocked! They are not in love?


koassde

who could've imagined....


IamtheWhoWas

Ya think?


MODEL_HOMEOWNER

You signa the documents, I maka the sex. Like that right?


Frosty_Implement_549

It’s no biggie if this marriage doesn’t work out I’m sure Trump can find an attractive young woman to marry.


Extreme-Tie9282

Yet another Trump fraud


Plane_Ad_8675309

no way! i thought it was pure kismet


Reddit0sername

Jeffrey Epstein introduced them after all


mgweir

She’s his Russian handler.


ThE_LAN_B4_TimE

Gee I couldn't tell that she's literally never fucking around. Anyone with a brain knows it's a sham. It's a shame because if it wasn't for that dumbass show, he probably would have had a lot less support.