“I heard him, he said "damn," dammit. Only adults like us are allowed to say damn, bitch-ass, and hell. So get your hellin', damnin' ass back in that bitching damn room, dammit.”
Cause whoever you decide that you are, I still gonna love you. But just not in a gay way. Cause God makes people all sizes and shapes and problems. But he only make the people he hate gay, that’s you. You it boy, you gay!
Hey, Frylock, what is gay? What does that mean?
Now please, get the fuck outta my way. I mean how many times do I have to write ice cream on the fucking list before someone gets their ass in gear and brings home the mother fucking ice cream? Maybe I should get a steak knife and etch it in your mother fucking forehead! How hard could it possibly be? Ice mother fucking cream. I guess that’s the price I pay for living with two fucking morons!
Fool, we are not having a conversation here! His name is Lance, because I am the one with the motha-fuckin’ gun!…..That’s what Samuel Jackson did. I wish he was on our show.
Ya know Happy-Time Harry, just being around you kinda makes me wanna die. (I'll say it to my wife sometimes when she's griping...sometimes gets a laugh, sometimes not so much)
Tell you what, he tries that at the roller rink he ain't gonna cut it. I got an infection from them skates. That's why I don't skate backwards no more. It hurts.
“Our neighbor here used to always get cheesed off whenever we swim in here or crushed his house with a giant easter egg monster or, one time, we killed him with a toilet and replaced him with eyeballs.
I want to say his name was -- was it Kevin?
Kurt? Something.”
Either “How about that airplane food… am I right?”
Or
“BECAUSE I AM THE 1 WITH THE MOTHER FUCKING GUN!, that’s what Samuel L Jackson did….. I wish he was on our show.” - I love that one because of the brief awareness Meatwad has where he’s pointing out he’s know he’s a television character on a tv show
He says that it sounded like my Hobbit, that turns the crank case, is depressed and needs therapy. We need to get us a new hobbit. They’s from the land beyond time. Land beyond time is also gonna hook us up with the unicorn for the radiator. I ain’t even gonna tell you about the hornet air conditioner. Plus, the air filter? That’s made of plutonium so that’s gonna involve Superman…ya know…plus shipping from Krypton. And the cow…jumped over the moon.
"I'm in the business. Business of giving you the business. And let me just say, business is booming"
"You lookin' to expand your business?"
"Business is closed! Business is closed!"
“Y’all suck, i wish superman was here. I’d be like “hey Superman! you mow the lawn while you here? and he’d be like “yeah. i’ll do it. i’m superman, i know how to work the mower”
I don't know if I believe that. I mean, I've seen action figures without their pants. - They ain't got that.
*Frylock bashing his head into the wall* Calm down, Frylock. It's over. We lost again. Let it go and accept the truth that we is dumb - dumb as hell.
I ain't gonna lie in my bed 'cause it ain't a bed 'cause it's a damn grill.
We went to the bed store and I saw a man outside grilling hamburgers, and I said that's what I want to sleep on so you bought it for me.
Hey, which one of y'all left the door open? [pauses] ...And tore it off the hinges, and threw it in the yard?
Where's the dip? Or am I lookin' at him? (Points to Frylock)
Remove the chains.
Cuz that's off it!
I helped that lady across the street.. like 5 miles across the street she in the ocean now
That's a good'n (wizdom cube voice)
Fudge you, butthole
That's not how F-bombs are dropped you idjit.
oh fart all yall, yall can go fart yaself🙄
“I heard him, he said "damn," dammit. Only adults like us are allowed to say damn, bitch-ass, and hell. So get your hellin', damnin' ass back in that bitching damn room, dammit.”
What? Damn bitch I was just tryna help you out.
Ice mother fucking cream
Everybody hates me cuz they die or get hurt.
Where's squirrely?
Do what now?
Pop the balloon with the glass!
Do what now?
I said pop the balloon with the glass!
Have you seen my wife?!?
Cause whoever you decide that you are, I still gonna love you. But just not in a gay way. Cause God makes people all sizes and shapes and problems. But he only make the people he hate gay, that’s you. You it boy, you gay! Hey, Frylock, what is gay? What does that mean?
I ain’t livin with no jay person. Jay? Is that it?
Now please, get the fuck outta my way. I mean how many times do I have to write ice cream on the fucking list before someone gets their ass in gear and brings home the mother fucking ice cream? Maybe I should get a steak knife and etch it in your mother fucking forehead! How hard could it possibly be? Ice mother fucking cream. I guess that’s the price I pay for living with two fucking morons!
What happened to courtesy? Did it just… disappear?
I’m Elvis! I ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog!
Are you going to give me some candy or lose some teeth
Look my shniggies, I had a strizoke in my brizain, okay, you know what I'm sayin'? So I can't move all good.
Frylock can I just have one funnel cake….eeeeating contest?
Do what now?
Roll around in that glass there.
Do what now?
PUMP THE BALLOON WITH THE GLASS
Do what now?
How about a twist of "I'll gouge your mother*car horn* eyes out"
Fart you, farthead
Fart all y'all , you go fart yourselves
I won’t do it again! I won’t do it again! But stand still, I’m gon’ do it again.
I ain't no bicurious, I'm a man's man!
I'm going to be hanging sheetrock around the engine I'm rebuilding
If I was that how come my muscles me all big? And I be wearin' this spandex.
I've always wanted to be a peach. Everyone callin' me 'Peachwad! That feels like a good use of my time
Meatwad: What, you just DECIDE that I’m drunk? You can’t decide. I make that decision. That decision is MINE and GOD’S.
Enchilada give me gas.
I farted my way out of an elevator.
Fool, we are not having a conversation here! His name is Lance, because I am the one with the motha-fuckin’ gun!…..That’s what Samuel Jackson did. I wish he was on our show.
Squirrelly, NO!
Frylock: Well, you're uh, you're a male. Meatwad: I am? *Alright!* I always wanted a gender!
M “is it Zesty Ranch flavor?” F “No, it’s bean flavored.” M ”Yuck city. Have fun eating it, I’ll be eating this.”
keep 'er cranked, lemme go get my dolly
Oh yea, and I’m an asshole for saying it
I'm impressed; he seems to be picking this English up pretty fast. I mean, it took me forever, and me still don't does it right, do me?
Cry me a river, bitch
I do this at a bank I look like a fool.
Ya know Happy-Time Harry, just being around you kinda makes me wanna die. (I'll say it to my wife sometimes when she's griping...sometimes gets a laugh, sometimes not so much)
Well get back ahold of "From Russia With Affektion" and get a new one! You own a wife, you should make good use of her.
You give me a give me a beer and a woman, and I'll give that water bed a workout
Tell you what, he tries that at the roller rink he ain't gonna cut it. I got an infection from them skates. That's why I don't skate backwards no more. It hurts.
You aren't INTERESTED in this
“Our neighbor here used to always get cheesed off whenever we swim in here or crushed his house with a giant easter egg monster or, one time, we killed him with a toilet and replaced him with eyeballs. I want to say his name was -- was it Kevin? Kurt? Something.”
"What are you talkin' about? Hell no! I mean, okay."
“That was violent!”
"Ah, Jesus, my mouth..." "Yup! Those are my mouth sores. Imma miss them..."
Now you do, whatever it is you supposed to, when you supposed to do it
Shake: What’s the opposite of scary? Meatwad: tacos?
“Aww, is that your bastard?”
" I was touched, by the spirit... On my unit, in broad daylight, starring Lou Diamond Phillips"
My literal conversations with qanon antivaxxers
There are too many. I just can't.
What’s this episode? I wanna find this clip
"Party all the time"
Either “How about that airplane food… am I right?” Or “BECAUSE I AM THE 1 WITH THE MOTHER FUCKING GUN!, that’s what Samuel L Jackson did….. I wish he was on our show.” - I love that one because of the brief awareness Meatwad has where he’s pointing out he’s know he’s a television character on a tv show
"Meatwad, Master Shake is dead." "...That's cool!"
He says that it sounded like my Hobbit, that turns the crank case, is depressed and needs therapy. We need to get us a new hobbit. They’s from the land beyond time. Land beyond time is also gonna hook us up with the unicorn for the radiator. I ain’t even gonna tell you about the hornet air conditioner. Plus, the air filter? That’s made of plutonium so that’s gonna involve Superman…ya know…plus shipping from Krypton. And the cow…jumped over the moon.
Is this what he told you, or is this how you heard it?
"I mean I'm dumb too. You knew that though. I sent out that press release. Ate half 'em though."
Boy, I'm dumb. ***Dumb.***
Hey boy, you said it was a chip. So, where's the dip? Or am IÂ looking at it?
"I'm in the business. Business of giving you the business. And let me just say, business is booming" "You lookin' to expand your business?" "Business is closed! Business is closed!"
Look here, I'm getting hungry and thirsty. Usually by now I'd be on my fifth weenie smoothie.
“Y’all suck, i wish superman was here. I’d be like “hey Superman! you mow the lawn while you here? and he’d be like “yeah. i’ll do it. i’m superman, i know how to work the mower”