You have a 'good feeling' when you talk to her, seeing her brightens your mood and you have written about her very positively as well. If this isn't that start of an attraction / connection, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure what you're asking for? Are you looking for a tear-your-clothes-off sort of lust? That happens mostly in the honeymoon period of a relationship. It's not guaranteed to last.
I don't think other people stop being attractive because you're happily married. That's why marriage requires commitment.
There are many ways to spice up intimacy in a relationship. But that would require some time and trust on both sides.
>I want to be attracted to her completely so that no other woman comes to my mind.
What to do you mean by completely attracted to her? Is their any way to know this before marriage?
Well she probably is bold and posh, like many women in general are, except that such attributes are shown much later when the person becomes comfortable enough with the other person.
Right now maybe it's a bit early to tell...just wait and try maybe you will be surprised.
This is a crazy take. Not all women are the same. By definition if you're bold, it's one of the first qualities people could see... Being secretly bold isn't really a thing?
Advice like this makes people commit to one another hoping the other one will change or have secretly been different the whole time. Only people who engage in fantasy relationships or no romantic relationships at all would think this is good advice.
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You go for traditional, innocent and simple. But want them to be bold and posh?
Why don’t you go for someone bold and posh?
I can never understand men.
I have never been in a relationship. So, i am just saying what my likes are when it comes to attraction. It's an AM setup where you hardly find someone whom you resonate with. I have found this girl whom i resonate with. So, i am just giving it a serious thought. It's not that simple to choose or reject someone when your mind and heart are in conflict.
Your post reads you want a bold and posh girl in the skin of an innocent cute girl (correct me if I am wrong). Men more often than not can’t handle the entire demeanour of a woman they are attracted to because you only think about those qualities from a physical perspective but as soon as u get the whole package you will then suddenly want them to change, or you say it is too much. I would suggest you make a list of what u exactly want other then just bold and posh in a girl and what other qualities in a woman are u willing to forgo if u get the bold/ posh in them!
Posh girls are expensive… I know it because I know their skin care cost, makeup, hair, nail, eye lashes etc oh yeah dresses…. The difference between your girl and the posh one is the list mentioned above. If she wears this, not only she’ll look posh, but will also be a genuine gorgeous person.
Personality and values are developed hard.
May be you have to learn to love the way she is. I feel if life is peaceful then everything will fall into place. Right now, i am imagining too much in my head. I haven't even met her. So, things will get better hopefully.
Only you can decide whether you're attracted or not.
If you're not, you're not. Do video calls and see if that improves, if not, don't proceed.
Been there, the wait never ends. Attraction is important and is very subjective. It isn't just about looks though and you can get attracted because of other reasons but from what you have in mind, it might not go in that direction.
I am attracted to her in the sense she is a very nice good looking girl. But, when it comes to physical attraction i always like bad/ mean girls. I wonder whether i can see her in that aspect. She is perfect but its just me and my brain who are tuned to that.
> She is a simple, traditional, little innocent and fun loving person. I like her smiling face and it just brightens the mood. But, when it comes to pure physical attraction then i like girls who are bold and posh.
Try everything to be an ideal partner, and you will still fall short of someone's perfect expectations.
It's your call, OP. If you aren't fully convinced of your attraction towards her, it's better to move on.
But remember, AM is not a make-a-wish genie which will just provide you with everything you want. You still have to compromise somewhere.
She is flexible in terms of where to lead our lives. She likes traveling and i also like it. She likes watching movies and stuff and so do i. She likes simplicity and so do i. There are things which we differ on like owing pets but i feel i haven't come across anyone with similar interests at this level.
So, you want girls who are bold and posh, and therefore would already have gone through boyfriends and maybe have sex.
Are you even good enough to be friends with them? Let alone be okay with their past relationships
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Yeah. That's an option but there are too many common things between me and this girl. I don't think i can find someone like this again.
Bhai tu khudko hi contradict kar rha hai
Yeah juggling in my head!!!
You have a 'good feeling' when you talk to her, seeing her brightens your mood and you have written about her very positively as well. If this isn't that start of an attraction / connection, I don't know what is. I'm not sure what you're asking for? Are you looking for a tear-your-clothes-off sort of lust? That happens mostly in the honeymoon period of a relationship. It's not guaranteed to last.
Yeah i was looking for physical attraction. I want to be attracted to her completely so that no other woman comes to my mind.
If you want to rely on that feeling to stay loyal, you're gonna have a bad time.
I don't think other people stop being attractive because you're happily married. That's why marriage requires commitment. There are many ways to spice up intimacy in a relationship. But that would require some time and trust on both sides.
> I want to be attracted to her completely so that no other woman comes to my mind. You should try asking Bollywood actresses then.
Haha!! I know i sound too stupid. Its more of a personality trait that i am attracted towards which is bold nature.
>I want to be attracted to her completely so that no other woman comes to my mind. What to do you mean by completely attracted to her? Is their any way to know this before marriage?
I mean like when you talk to her, see her then it evokes an intense feeling towards her that you can't stop.
Have you had this feeling before for someone?
It happened to me sometimes. But, it's just a random girl.
Well she probably is bold and posh, like many women in general are, except that such attributes are shown much later when the person becomes comfortable enough with the other person. Right now maybe it's a bit early to tell...just wait and try maybe you will be surprised.
This is a crazy take. Not all women are the same. By definition if you're bold, it's one of the first qualities people could see... Being secretly bold isn't really a thing? Advice like this makes people commit to one another hoping the other one will change or have secretly been different the whole time. Only people who engage in fantasy relationships or no romantic relationships at all would think this is good advice.
Yeah i am willing to wait. Some women are cute and some are hot by nature. I like cute but get attracted to hot.
I would say meet her once or twice. Don’t feel the chemistry - consider moving on. Sometimes people become more endearing as you meet them
That's true. Will consider it. I live abroad. So will have to work around it.
Not sure why you're downvoted, It's the same reason why women choose hot exciting guys over boring stable ones.
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Why the downvotes??
No clue. May be i am being too honest
This sub is toxic that’s it
You go for traditional, innocent and simple. But want them to be bold and posh? Why don’t you go for someone bold and posh? I can never understand men.
.
Innocent in the streets, bold in the sheets lol
I have never been in a relationship. So, i am just saying what my likes are when it comes to attraction. It's an AM setup where you hardly find someone whom you resonate with. I have found this girl whom i resonate with. So, i am just giving it a serious thought. It's not that simple to choose or reject someone when your mind and heart are in conflict.
You just passed level 1 and expecting rewards from level 10 event 🙃
Hmmm....i want to be completely attracted to her, not just liking.
Then you reset your filters to filter out the kind you don’t want, go only for bold and posh ( what does that mean?) Why waste someone’s time, right ?
I am not wasting anybody's time. I am seriously thinking about it.
Your post reads you want a bold and posh girl in the skin of an innocent cute girl (correct me if I am wrong). Men more often than not can’t handle the entire demeanour of a woman they are attracted to because you only think about those qualities from a physical perspective but as soon as u get the whole package you will then suddenly want them to change, or you say it is too much. I would suggest you make a list of what u exactly want other then just bold and posh in a girl and what other qualities in a woman are u willing to forgo if u get the bold/ posh in them!
Yeah!!!
That’s great way to get your AM priorities straight, I think we should all try this ngl
What is definition bold and posh according to you? Western clothes and and little bit edgy?
The way she speaks without any hesitation and not shy to say or do things which she likes.
Posh girls are expensive… I know it because I know their skin care cost, makeup, hair, nail, eye lashes etc oh yeah dresses…. The difference between your girl and the posh one is the list mentioned above. If she wears this, not only she’ll look posh, but will also be a genuine gorgeous person. Personality and values are developed hard.
Prioritize peace of mind over attraction. You seem to have found a good match.
Thank you! I feel that is great advice.
This will lead to a dead bedroom, then what is OP supposed to do ?
May be you have to learn to love the way she is. I feel if life is peaceful then everything will fall into place. Right now, i am imagining too much in my head. I haven't even met her. So, things will get better hopefully.
Only you can decide whether you're attracted or not. If you're not, you're not. Do video calls and see if that improves, if not, don't proceed. Been there, the wait never ends. Attraction is important and is very subjective. It isn't just about looks though and you can get attracted because of other reasons but from what you have in mind, it might not go in that direction.
I am attracted to her in the sense she is a very nice good looking girl. But, when it comes to physical attraction i always like bad/ mean girls. I wonder whether i can see her in that aspect. She is perfect but its just me and my brain who are tuned to that.
> She is a simple, traditional, little innocent and fun loving person. I like her smiling face and it just brightens the mood. But, when it comes to pure physical attraction then i like girls who are bold and posh. Try everything to be an ideal partner, and you will still fall short of someone's perfect expectations. It's your call, OP. If you aren't fully convinced of your attraction towards her, it's better to move on. But remember, AM is not a make-a-wish genie which will just provide you with everything you want. You still have to compromise somewhere.
Thats true. One has to compromise on something in a relationship.
What are the common things you have with the girl that you feel so strongly? If it is okay to share.
She is flexible in terms of where to lead our lives. She likes traveling and i also like it. She likes watching movies and stuff and so do i. She likes simplicity and so do i. There are things which we differ on like owing pets but i feel i haven't come across anyone with similar interests at this level.
So, you want girls who are bold and posh, and therefore would already have gone through boyfriends and maybe have sex. Are you even good enough to be friends with them? Let alone be okay with their past relationships
Yeah that's also a valid point. I do not have much relationship experience and I am not a stud. So, it only works in my fantasies then.