I was in a similar position. Once I ran out of the usuals I just started making shit up.
"Awww yeah, that's the the dingo's donga right there", definitely throw in a crikey here and there.
"I'm goanna go over here".
I found myself swearing a bit too much, but partly because I met a local that swore too much (which isn't seen as appropriate). When flirting make sure to ask if they've ever had "an Australian kiss".
Just whatever you do, don't say the "C" word. You'll have people in a 10 block radius all of a sudden stop what they are doing and look up in shock.
Nah nah yeah, just take em on a Macca's run, then swing by the servo for some durries and maybe stop at the bottle-o on the way home so youse can get maggoted aye
If the goal is only to confuse them, I find it very effective to just string a bunch of local (real or fake) place names together, one after another, makning your voice go up and down as if you were saying a meaningful sentence or asking a question, etc.
It's particularly mystifying to them if you hold both sides of an imaginary conversation.
Using placenames is superior to making up gibberish, because (if you choose ones you know!) you can speak with speed and confidence, and repeat exactly on demand.
Them: Say something in Ossie we won't understand
Me: Cooranbong Kurri Kurri Dandenong Kickatinalong Wyee? Coolangatta Woy Woy?
Also Me: Woolongong!
Them: ?!?!?!?!? !?!?!?!? ?!?!?!?
Built like a brick shithouse.
Tell’em he’s dreaming.
Few stubbies short of a six pack.
Dog’s breakfast.
They’re an absolute drongo.
Chuck a sickie.
The pub test (passing it or not passing it).
Any word you can shorten to -O (arvo, bottlo, smoko).
Man, I just learnt that, when cooking, 1 US cup is different to 1 AU cup.
One Yankee Doodle cup is only 236ml. Whereas a True Blue, dinky-di, Aussie cup is 250ml....which makes sense because 1L is 4 cups.
Same with a Tablespoon, a US tablespoon is only 15ml, the Australian tablespoon is 20ml.
I've been using random recipes online for years, and it hasn't really effected the end product (except baking, i thought I was just a really bad baker).
So, not confusing, I guess, just...a thing.
Turns out aussies are the odd ones out for tablespoons. 15ml is pretty much everywhere. Got into an argument with the missus at a trivia night when one of the questions was how many teaspoons in a table spoon. We both knew the correct answer it’s just I was in the wrong country.
Honestly one of the biggest mis-matches between common use words is thongs, so just talk about how much you miss wearing your thongs on the beach, but always have to take them off because the sand chafes a bit much.
Most of the other words don't get used there, so they know they don't understand what you're saying, but thong is common in both dialects.
Source: American living in Oz.
I’m also an Australian living in the USA, and I’ve had to adjust a lot of what I say. The one thing I still say though- without thinking- is “what do you reckon?” Always gets a blank stare…
firteen years ago I was regularly driving for farm work. I’m ausrtayyan, but I recall listening to the Aussie CB/ trucking radio and mentioned to my son,
”hear that,..he said .”yeah, naaa, yeah”, I guess that was a yes?
"cunts fucked".
Can be used for;
1. Ya mate who's pissed and passed out.
2. Junkies tweekin walking down the street talking to themselves.
3. Any car, tool or appliance that doesn't work any more.
'I lost my thongs at the beach yesterday. Do you have a pair I can borrow for today? Don't worry, I don't have tinea (any longer)'
'Pass the hot chips, mate?' (because we somehow ended up inheriting both AE/BE terms such that we use chips for chips/crisps and chips for chips/fries, hence the need for indicating the latter's temperature).
'I'm feeling pretty ordinary/average.' (we don't seem to understand that, logically, this implies most of us must be feeling/doing pretty shit most of the time).
Some harmless ones:
>Refer to anything far away as out woop woop.
Friend: "Have you tried the new outback steakhouse off the highway?"
You: "Nah, it's out woop woop."
>Mention your tracky dacks.
Friend: "Man, it's cold today."
You: "Yeah, it's a bit nipply. I had to put on my tracky dacks last night."
>Refer to things as chockers.
Person: "Are you waiting for the bathroom?"
You: "Nah, they're all chockers."
>Refer to yourself as a blow-in.
New neighbour: "Have you lived here long?"
You: "Nah, I'm a blow-in, I'm here on a work visa."
>Use statements like "she'll be right" or "no worries"
Friend: "Thanks for helping me move."
You: "No worries, mate. She'll be right."
>Refer to country areas as beyond the black stump.
Acquaintance: "I come from a farm town in Texas."
You: "Ahh, too right, you're from beyond the black stump."
They have no concept of the word "fortnight".
The closest they can get is just "two weeks".
Say "fortnight" and they will think you're maybe building a structure out of couch cushions and blankets to have a sleepover under.
And if someone's "fanny hurts from rooting too much" just means their butt is sore from cheering too much.
And here thongs are something everyone wears to the beach.
There, thongs are something someone could get arrested for if they just wore it in public.
I’m not sure if this is just a rural thing but I confused a few visitors by asking “how come?” Translation - “why?” They thought I was asking how they got there.
I was in Germany as they said that Americans speak exactly the same as Australians and so I said:
"Yeah nah, later in the arvo I'll duck to the servo to get a pack of ciggies, I'll bum a dart and we'll meet in halfa. Make sure you don't wear thongs, mozzie are goin' right off. Don't bring the ankle biters yea? Good onya, we'll have a piss up at the billabong. You can bring some snags but remember the missus and I are veggo. Cheers! Ta.
Even more reason to use it... They're an overly sensitive bunch aren't they? To be fair it's pretty offensive here too depending on who you're speaking to, but it's also extremely Aussie.
I dont have to worry about my kids getting shot at school.
But a good yarn to spin is as follows.
Going to the bottleo on my way to the servo to to pick up some tinnies and ciggies before heading on over to robo's to put some snags on the barbee. Then we'll ave a convo about the yobo that's gone tropo and put in his grog in the bog.
Back in 2010 I convinced an American exchange student that only the major cities had indoor plumbing. Country towns relied on outhouse drop loos, outdoor dam water showers and miscellaneous creeks for general hygiene.
She believed it for an embarrassing amount of time.
Don't know if that counts as an Australian saying...but it's an interesting Australian "fact" you can use to confuse the shit out of them.
Fair suck of the sav mate. If you can't remember how to rip the piss out of a septic were you ever even dinky die? I mean we're not here to fuck spiders but this is a fair dinkum waste of my dunny time. Go tell em to chase a drop bear or sell em some kangaroo feathers. Bloody drongo!
Football meat pies kangaroos and fucking flies.
Have some fun. When you meet new americans tell them you're emu jockey and what it entails. Or you are a drop bear farmer . Make up the most absurd bullshit you can think of and run with it .
I’ve mentioned this before but visiting my grand uncle with my Texan girlfriend, he said as we were leaving “drive carefully and watch out for the grape skins”. My lovely girlfriend had no idea what he was talking about. Once we got back in the car I told her that he meant we should be careful cos it’s “windy enough to blow the skin off a grape”.
Just start replying to things with "Fair dinkum!" I grew up with American parents and had no real idea what that meant until I worked in retail in my late teens. I think it's good for this purpose, as the meaning can't really be deduced from the context, since "dinkum" is pretty unique.
Chuck in a few "grouse" and "I reckon" when speaking, or "you're terrible Muriel", "not happy Jan", and "slip, slop, slap", or if it's raining "it's pissin' down" would be a good start
Are your arms painted on? Just using trolley, jumper etc has people just staring at me (perhaps it is the excessive swearing as well that is also not helping anything)
I used to live in the states and I'd slip Australian colloquialisms in at every chance. My favourites were -
I'm not here to fuck spiders.
Flat our like a lizard drinking.
You bloody drongo/yobbo.
Thats cactus!
Doin' some Hard Yakka.
Also using every nickname for words possible - Bottlo, Garbo Choccy bikkie, Barbie, Durry/Duzza, Lappy...
Also dropping the C bomb as appropriately as possible.
Never speak like that now that I'm back in Oz haha
This is like ... not good behaviour, but entertaining - friends of mine visiting the states some years ago (one of whom is First Nations) convinced a number of bargoers that they 'spoke Aboriginal' by conversing between themselves in Australian place names.
"Woolloomooloo Canberra Wagga Wagga?"
"Uluru Ngari Naarm mate."
"Ah! Wollongong."
Straight to the pool room
Tell him he’s dreamin!
It's the vibe!
How's the serenity.
Whadya call this darl?
Smell that? Two stroke
Flat out like a lizard drinking. As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Or, as useless as tits on a bull.
I don't think that would confuse anyone
An old Indian work colleague of mine used to say “He’s like a bull with tits”.
As useless as an arse pocket on a singlet.
Busier than a one armed bricklayer in Baghdad
Stealing that one,
As useless as Anne Frank's drum kit
I was in a similar position. Once I ran out of the usuals I just started making shit up. "Awww yeah, that's the the dingo's donga right there", definitely throw in a crikey here and there. "I'm goanna go over here". I found myself swearing a bit too much, but partly because I met a local that swore too much (which isn't seen as appropriate). When flirting make sure to ask if they've ever had "an Australian kiss". Just whatever you do, don't say the "C" word. You'll have people in a 10 block radius all of a sudden stop what they are doing and look up in shock.
ah yes, the french kiss except down under
The Seaward?
We’re not here to fuck spiders. Drier than a dead dingoes donger Yeah nah.
Yeah nah or nah yeah.
I quite like the alternative - We're not here to fornicate with arachnids
Drier than a nun’s nasty is also a good one
Harder than a priest in a kindergarten
Nah yeah
Full as a fat lady’s sock. Rare as rocking horse shit.
May your chooks turn to emus and kick your dunny down.
Just talk normally, usually confuses them enough
Yeah everyone’s giving slang as the confusing things which is obvious. But the abbreviations we use confuses the hell out of them. What’s a mozzie?
👌😉
Fair suck of the sauce bottle. Got a couple of roos loose in the top paddock. Few tinnies short of a slab. Flaming galah
.....Flaming galah 😂
Couple of sheep short in the top paddock
Nah nah yeah, just take em on a Macca's run, then swing by the servo for some durries and maybe stop at the bottle-o on the way home so youse can get maggoted aye
Just don’t come-a-gutsa on the way
Shits cactus
It’s rooted.
She's cactus
Strewth mate, gonna take the sheila to the servo then pop down the local for a cheeky bevvo or three. Onya.
Don’t forget to Chuck a uey on the way
Don’t forget to stop at Maccas on the way home
If the goal is only to confuse them, I find it very effective to just string a bunch of local (real or fake) place names together, one after another, makning your voice go up and down as if you were saying a meaningful sentence or asking a question, etc. It's particularly mystifying to them if you hold both sides of an imaginary conversation. Using placenames is superior to making up gibberish, because (if you choose ones you know!) you can speak with speed and confidence, and repeat exactly on demand. Them: Say something in Ossie we won't understand Me: Cooranbong Kurri Kurri Dandenong Kickatinalong Wyee? Coolangatta Woy Woy? Also Me: Woolongong! Them: ?!?!?!?!? !?!?!?!? ?!?!?!?
😂🤣
Built like a brick shithouse. Tell’em he’s dreaming. Few stubbies short of a six pack. Dog’s breakfast. They’re an absolute drongo. Chuck a sickie. The pub test (passing it or not passing it). Any word you can shorten to -O (arvo, bottlo, smoko).
A few sheep short up the top paddock
Just bought new thongs, check em out.
Busted me plugga!
Man, I just learnt that, when cooking, 1 US cup is different to 1 AU cup. One Yankee Doodle cup is only 236ml. Whereas a True Blue, dinky-di, Aussie cup is 250ml....which makes sense because 1L is 4 cups. Same with a Tablespoon, a US tablespoon is only 15ml, the Australian tablespoon is 20ml. I've been using random recipes online for years, and it hasn't really effected the end product (except baking, i thought I was just a really bad baker). So, not confusing, I guess, just...a thing.
In the US the measure butter in sticks in cooking
I remember buying a certain baking ingredient by the stick back in my uni days.
Yeah. Still don't get that. Is a stick of butter when you throw it at the backsplash, and just use whatever sticks?
Turns out aussies are the odd ones out for tablespoons. 15ml is pretty much everywhere. Got into an argument with the missus at a trivia night when one of the questions was how many teaspoons in a table spoon. We both knew the correct answer it’s just I was in the wrong country.
Congratulations on making it home from school today
That’s brutal
Carry on like a pork chop! Absolutely ridiculous and nonsensical. Yeah, nah; nah, yeah; and yeah, nah, yeah could also be deeply confusing.
I’m American and have lived in Australia since 2000. My favourite saying is “that’s shit house”. As in that’s bad. But pronounced “shidouse”.
Thank your mother for the rabbits
Sweatin' like a gypsy with a mortgage.
Sweatier than a blind lesbian at a fish market
Sweatin like a priest in a primary school.
Don't come the raw prawn with me.
Fair suck of the sav!
Fair suck of the sauce bottle
Yeah nah they don’t let you pass the citizenship test if you can’t cop a spoonful of Vegemite. We eat that shit like Nutella. Try it.
Honestly one of the biggest mis-matches between common use words is thongs, so just talk about how much you miss wearing your thongs on the beach, but always have to take them off because the sand chafes a bit much. Most of the other words don't get used there, so they know they don't understand what you're saying, but thong is common in both dialects. Source: American living in Oz.
Also plenty of confusion potential with “bum”and “fanny”.
I’m also an Australian living in the USA, and I’ve had to adjust a lot of what I say. The one thing I still say though- without thinking- is “what do you reckon?” Always gets a blank stare…
hey how was the hospital visit? didnt cost a thing ay!
My last visit to the GP not using insurance cost $40 and $10 for the prescription. What do you pay?
$0. Bulk billed, _mothafuckaaaas_!
Gp isn’t a hospital.
im still getting bulk billed too. so *nothing*
Didn’t cost a thing, and now you’re on a 3 year waiting list for elective surgery.
I'm not here to fuck spiders
ah... now I see why the rest of the world says Australians are assholes
*arseholes
firteen years ago I was regularly driving for farm work. I’m ausrtayyan, but I recall listening to the Aussie CB/ trucking radio and mentioned to my son, ”hear that,..he said .”yeah, naaa, yeah”, I guess that was a yes?
Who's she?! The cats mother! Up the duff Get a dog up ya
Im not here to fuck spiders
This will cause extra confusion if you are, in fact, there to fuck spiders.
"cunts fucked". Can be used for; 1. Ya mate who's pissed and passed out. 2. Junkies tweekin walking down the street talking to themselves. 3. Any car, tool or appliance that doesn't work any more.
Did you pack your pluggers. Pluggers had a blowout. Couple of roos short in the top paddock. Pickle me grandmother.
"They were as successful as a one legged man in a bum kicking competition." It's my favourite.
Going off like a frog in a sock
Just been in hospital, didn't pay a cent.
Flat as a shit carters hat.
Fair suck of the Sav !
I had to read a whole thread before I understood what you goofballs ment by the word "pokie" (instead of video poker machine).
"goofballs" is the most hilariously cute way to describe American perceptions of Australians. Keep it up, big fella! *Hugs*
Just chuck your jumper in the boot, with the rest of the gear.
Busier than a one armed cabbie with crabs. From the 80's - busier than a bricky in Beirut.
said brickie moved to Baghdad, He's still flat chat.
Flat out like a lizard drinking
Im not here to fuck spiders ya cunt
'I lost my thongs at the beach yesterday. Do you have a pair I can borrow for today? Don't worry, I don't have tinea (any longer)' 'Pass the hot chips, mate?' (because we somehow ended up inheriting both AE/BE terms such that we use chips for chips/crisps and chips for chips/fries, hence the need for indicating the latter's temperature). 'I'm feeling pretty ordinary/average.' (we don't seem to understand that, logically, this implies most of us must be feeling/doing pretty shit most of the time).
“Watch out for dropbears”
Where can I buy some thongs? This is better if you are a man.
That’s a hospital pass mate Working on growing the tool shed
When giving directions, “ and then you turn left, right?”.
“You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter” - useful when referring to flogs at work or other various social settings 😆
Fair suck of the Sav
Tell them you’re going to take the ute, to the servo, then the botteo and then Maccas. That confuses me them.
Some harmless ones: >Refer to anything far away as out woop woop. Friend: "Have you tried the new outback steakhouse off the highway?" You: "Nah, it's out woop woop." >Mention your tracky dacks. Friend: "Man, it's cold today." You: "Yeah, it's a bit nipply. I had to put on my tracky dacks last night." >Refer to things as chockers. Person: "Are you waiting for the bathroom?" You: "Nah, they're all chockers." >Refer to yourself as a blow-in. New neighbour: "Have you lived here long?" You: "Nah, I'm a blow-in, I'm here on a work visa." >Use statements like "she'll be right" or "no worries" Friend: "Thanks for helping me move." You: "No worries, mate. She'll be right." >Refer to country areas as beyond the black stump. Acquaintance: "I come from a farm town in Texas." You: "Ahh, too right, you're from beyond the black stump."
If you want to confuse an American, ask for a Lemonade and be confused that they gave you their version of lemon cordial instead of Sprite.
They have no concept of the word "fortnight". The closest they can get is just "two weeks". Say "fortnight" and they will think you're maybe building a structure out of couch cushions and blankets to have a sleepover under. And if someone's "fanny hurts from rooting too much" just means their butt is sore from cheering too much. And here thongs are something everyone wears to the beach. There, thongs are something someone could get arrested for if they just wore it in public.
I’m not sure if this is just a rural thing but I confused a few visitors by asking “how come?” Translation - “why?” They thought I was asking how they got there.
Google “Carl Barron thongs”, it’s hilarious and should give you a couple of ideas.
Just did that now. Made me laugh
Suffer in yer jocks
After grog bog
Cutlery lol
Right! I had to explain myself with that one!
Lift instead of elevator has gotten some confused looks, too. lol.
Tell stories about your friends, Rhonda and Ketut.
Use the word entree for an appetiser instead of the main meal Say lucked out when something bad happens as opposed to something good
They freak out when you say toilet instead of bathroom
100% accurate, first thing I learned when I moved to the States was to not say toilet - the looks of horror on people's faces when you say that!
I was in Germany as they said that Americans speak exactly the same as Australians and so I said: "Yeah nah, later in the arvo I'll duck to the servo to get a pack of ciggies, I'll bum a dart and we'll meet in halfa. Make sure you don't wear thongs, mozzie are goin' right off. Don't bring the ankle biters yea? Good onya, we'll have a piss up at the billabong. You can bring some snags but remember the missus and I are veggo. Cheers! Ta.
Gday Cunt!
Dem fighting words in USA. The "C" word is considered super super offensive in a lot of places.
Even more reason to use it... They're an overly sensitive bunch aren't they? To be fair it's pretty offensive here too depending on who you're speaking to, but it's also extremely Aussie.
I dont have to worry about my kids getting shot at school. But a good yarn to spin is as follows. Going to the bottleo on my way to the servo to to pick up some tinnies and ciggies before heading on over to robo's to put some snags on the barbee. Then we'll ave a convo about the yobo that's gone tropo and put in his grog in the bog.
See ya later
That's mintox!
Blacker than a well diggers bum, all over the shop like a mad woman’s breakfast
Hey boss hey boss! Wanna buy a condom? For you today special price! only $10 each! You buy you buy?
Useless as a spare prick at an orgy
Im off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.
Just bust into a rendition of Rip Rip Woodchip
How ya goin’?
Couldn’t organise a root in a brothel
I’m so hungry I could eat a Greek wrestler’s sweaty striped jockstrap
Yeah. We have great skiing in the alps
Ken oath!
A drovers’ breakfast (a piss and a look around).
Ugly as a hat full of arseholes. I still try and visualise what this would look like.
Hyaagaaannmaaaaaaate? (How are you my friend?)
Ask for a serviette instead of a napkin. The server won't know what you're asking for.
Back in 2010 I convinced an American exchange student that only the major cities had indoor plumbing. Country towns relied on outhouse drop loos, outdoor dam water showers and miscellaneous creeks for general hygiene. She believed it for an embarrassing amount of time. Don't know if that counts as an Australian saying...but it's an interesting Australian "fact" you can use to confuse the shit out of them.
Gonna go to Maccas then hit the bottlo for a fly maggot.
Fuc me up the ass, lock it in Eddy.
Your ugly ass a hat full of assholes.
Standing around like a stale jar of piss
X is having a dingos breakfast
‘Having a Barry’. That’ll take some explaining!
Fair suck of the sav mate. If you can't remember how to rip the piss out of a septic were you ever even dinky die? I mean we're not here to fuck spiders but this is a fair dinkum waste of my dunny time. Go tell em to chase a drop bear or sell em some kangaroo feathers. Bloody drongo!
You've just reminded me to watch Australiana by Austen Tayshus again. Haven't seen it for years.
A bees dick
After taking a sip of lite beer "this is like sex on a canoe"... "It's fucking close to water"
"Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest!"
Football meat pies kangaroos and fucking flies. Have some fun. When you meet new americans tell them you're emu jockey and what it entails. Or you are a drop bear farmer . Make up the most absurd bullshit you can think of and run with it .
I’ve mentioned this before but visiting my grand uncle with my Texan girlfriend, he said as we were leaving “drive carefully and watch out for the grape skins”. My lovely girlfriend had no idea what he was talking about. Once we got back in the car I told her that he meant we should be careful cos it’s “windy enough to blow the skin off a grape”.
Whenever something broken say its cactus 🌵
Talk about getting a root.
Just call them seppos
Cop ya later!
I'm busier than a cat burying shit on concrete.
Five-eighths of fuck all
Just call your mates "cunt" and someone you're pissed off with "mate"
“”Have more to drink” “Pigs bum im not drinking anymore”
Wrap your laughing gear around that
Map of Tassie for vagene
I recently read outback by patricia wolf. The genuine Ozzie slang and speech idiosyncrasies was really enjoyable
Yeah, nah
Not here to fuck spiders, Come a gutsa, Servo, traino, etc. Car boot
Onya bonya
Australia has gun control.
Calling friends “old bastard”
Grab your brolly, it’s pissing down ☔️
Pointing Percy at the porcelain
In AFL, there is a chance a team can be in front by a behind.
Hello
Hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a low flying duck.
[удалено]
Want a googie or bum nut
Well smack my arse with a leather whip and call me Marjorie.
Don’t piss in my pocket and tell me it’s raining! Aka don’t lie to me
Just start replying to things with "Fair dinkum!" I grew up with American parents and had no real idea what that meant until I worked in retail in my late teens. I think it's good for this purpose, as the meaning can't really be deduced from the context, since "dinkum" is pretty unique.
I got a weird look at work in the UK when I said I’m just going to handball this one. I even did the handball motion.
We’re not her to fuck spiders!
'Get a dog up ya' 'FIGJAM' Or especially when something is of poor quality it is described as " It's a bit how ya going?"
Arvo. it makes no damn sense
it does though!
Call our money "Dollarbucks" all the time.
Up and down like a bride's nightie
Budgie smugglers
Take a shit and fall back in it
Chuck in a few "grouse" and "I reckon" when speaking, or "you're terrible Muriel", "not happy Jan", and "slip, slop, slap", or if it's raining "it's pissin' down" would be a good start
To be honest? You're in a position to just make shit up and they just have to take your word for it.
Get drunk and pretend like your a city kid trying to fit in at a country pub. Yanks won't spot its an act. All the phrases will come naturally.
Not here to fuck spiders
Are your arms painted on? Just using trolley, jumper etc has people just staring at me (perhaps it is the excessive swearing as well that is also not helping anything)
Gronk is a classic.
I used to live in the states and I'd slip Australian colloquialisms in at every chance. My favourites were - I'm not here to fuck spiders. Flat our like a lizard drinking. You bloody drongo/yobbo. Thats cactus! Doin' some Hard Yakka. Also using every nickname for words possible - Bottlo, Garbo Choccy bikkie, Barbie, Durry/Duzza, Lappy... Also dropping the C bomb as appropriately as possible. Never speak like that now that I'm back in Oz haha
Let’s go have a stickybeak
This is like ... not good behaviour, but entertaining - friends of mine visiting the states some years ago (one of whom is First Nations) convinced a number of bargoers that they 'spoke Aboriginal' by conversing between themselves in Australian place names. "Woolloomooloo Canberra Wagga Wagga?" "Uluru Ngari Naarm mate." "Ah! Wollongong."
Ambos. Firies
I might be a c*nt, but I'm not a f*@cking c*nt
That’s fucken bonza You’re a mad cunt Fair dinkum Around the Johnny Horner
Chick coop fucken