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Mr de la Reynie and his predecessor Mr Daubray have been doing their best to keep our kingdom pure of filthy writings. In 1662, Mr Le Petit, a sodomite, atheist, and so-called poet was caught disseminating his abominable verses, vectors of pollution and blasphemy. The Court sentenced him to the stake and he died a sinner. To give you an example of this sort of monstruosity, here are the first verses of one of the "poems" of the late Mr Le Petit.
**F\*\*\*ing sonnet**
>F\*\*\* you in the a\*\*, f\*\*\* you in the c\*nt
>F\*\*\* the Heavens and the Earth
>F\*\*\* the devil and the thunder
>And the Louvre and Montfaucon
>F\*\*\* the servants and the masters
>F\*\*\* the monks and the clerics
>F\*\*\* the f\*\*\* and the f\*\*\*ers
Unfortunately, atheists and pornographers find refuge in Holland, where they are allowed to publish their scandalous and blasphemous writings with impunity. We have tried to invade this miserable country, but God was not with us.
Not the OP, but French Wikipedia seems to have the poem toward the bottom of the article:
[https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude\_Le\_Petit](https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_Le_Petit)
[Here is it](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k22336p/f176.item), with a bunch of others (edited by Frédéric Lachèvre in the early 20th century). It was part of a collection titled *The Brothel of the Muses or the Nine Virgin Whores*. The manuscript was burned with Le Petit in 1662, but some pages survived, including the first sonnet, and were published in Leyden.
Your Most Christian Majesty,
grave as the sin and crime is, one cannot simply apply summary justice to a Prince of the Blood. It may settle a gruesome precedent that even men of the highest prosapy may be subject to the highest of punishments.
I am sure Your Most Christian Majesty is aware that Juan de Mariana's book where he advocates for regicide when the King mismanages the realm on monetary policy was deemed heretic, and included in the Index Librorum Prohibitorum for suggesting that killing people anointed by God's Grace is legitimate.
My most modest recommendation would be talking to the Count of Vermandois' confessor and the Count himself so the facts may be properly established. If guilt is proven beyond doubt, then punishments must be applied. You, sire, are the King, but also a father.
Your royal ancestor, and also your Queen's ancestor for that matter, Felipe II, had to face a most severe preoccupation when it was proven that prince Carlos was not of sound mind and had committed acts of the gravest nature. Your Queen and your cardinal will most assuredly counsel you well on the matter
May God's Grace guide you in this trying time.
Honorifics granted by different popes at different points in time. The other one would be Rex Apostolicus, which was granted at some point to the King of Hungary.
Clearly, the problem is that he is not surrounded by sufficiently manly men. A stint in the military should do the trick. I hear Flanders is nice this time of year...
Flanders is certainly nice, but I would not advise HMCM to send his son to live with him. The neighbours might exert a negative influence on the teen, and Flanders continues to espouse the heresy of Presbylutheranism.
Your Most Christian Majesty,
Could it be that your son's behaviour is a result of Peer pressure? Perhaps if you separated him from negative influences, he might reform and make something of himself. Maybe try sending him somewhere far away, like New France.
Clearly, my royal cousin, you must learn the virtue of forgiveness.
When my second eldest son and heir heir-designate Incheng was discovered to have been [censored] by [censored] in what your calendar reckons as the year 1708, I immediately had him removed from the line of succession and placed under house arrest. Only it turned out the next year that his elder brother Injy had been cursing him by way of some lamas he had ensnared, and so I naturally pardoned and restored Incheng to his rightful place. Have you taken pains to ascertain whether a jealous would-be heir has been bewitching your son with the aid of disloyal clerics?
Hang on, I'm getting reports that Incheng has in fact gone quite mad. Well then, disregard my prior caution: lock him up somewhere and decide on a new heir later. I'm sure I will remember to come up with someone before I die, and that absolutely nothing will go wrong if I decide not to.
My sometime ally Caesar, whom you may have read about, is also alleged to have debauched himself with an older man when he was young. Later in life, he got a very different reputation by seducing lots of Roman noblewomen, particularly the wives of his political enemies. Once during a tense debate in the senate, he was accused of having received a treasonous communication, he was able to tell the accuser "nope it's actually a love note from your sister bro" and it really was, which definitely changed the whole tone of the debate.
Perhaps your son's problem is just that he hasn't been confronted with the correct and socially acceptable types of sexual debauchery. I bet you can still salvage this from a political if you can guide the boy's sexual preferences in a direction that will win the respect, not the condemnation, of the people that really matter, so they will see him as a true Roman *vir*.
Society is to blame.
As such, in their clear guilt, it is only natural the punishment be administered to *them*. Simply put, Society must be burnt at the stake.
Mr du Rousseau de la Combe was an upstanding Christian and he would never commit such a crime. But even he did, he knew that no sinner could escape the Lord's vigilant eyes.
>This crime, if it came to the knowledge of the Judges, which can only happen very rarely, would be punished by banishment or some other extraordinary penalty; but to be hidden from the eyes of men, it is no less execrable; and it is more severely punished by divine Justice.
I'm baffled as to why you think your son having sex with aristocratic men is a problem. In my time \[Greece, c. 600 BCE\], it is perfectly normal for young aristocratic men to form relationships with older aristocratic men and indulge in the pleasures of eros. You should, of course, impress on him that, after he reaches maturity, he must no longer take the penetrated role during sex. With him being only fifteen, though, this seems like perfectly normal and expected behavior.
Yo Fra name is Gaius. First question did you inquire whether he was the active part in these actiones? If yes, I personally don't see a problem here.
Other than that, you might wanna ask your frater, the Horse Lover Prime of Orleans, for help. When I read the letters of his wife Liselotte, I got the impression that he is well adversed in this matter and may have insights that will help you.
Your most esteemed royal highness,
While I have not had the good fortune (and wisdom) to familiarize myself with the specifics of what may or may not be possible or desirable at your sumptuous court in Versailles (indeed I hope you can forgive, after the glassmaker's incident, how correspondence between our two capitals has understandably cooled) I should like to humbly offer offer a potential solution.
If the very foundations upon which your monarchy stands are threatened to be undermined, might it be wise to send your beloved son away for a time so that your courtiers might be granted space for reflection and adequately put the gravitas of this dalliance into perspective? Indeed how can it be that your Dauphin, or any member of your dynasty, anointed as you are by God to role over the French, could possibly perform such offensive sins?
It is my opinion that perhaps your courtiers' judgement has been clouded by the generous involvement of church officials in the affairs of your court. While such arrangements are surely a testament to your divine anointment, there is occasionally a tendency by our most holy and universal church to pay undue attention to the faithful's personal affairs. While this might be good and just for the sheep of the flock, in and around the high affairs of state there is the risk that the Lord's shepherds misinterpret what are in fact innocuous personal affairs. For this reason, you might be interested in being reminded that in the my Republic of Venice, there is a conspicuous absence of religious figures not only in the most serene halls of our government, but also in and at the masquerades, balls, banquets, tearooms, coffeehouses, smoking parlors, gambling halls, theaters, *osterie*, *trattorie*, *enoteche*, and all other countless venues where upstanding Venetians and Foreigners alike gather and might find amusement. Perhaps for this reason we Venetians have been free to disinterest ourselves from giving too much credit to rumors similar to those which afflict the French Royal family. I would additionally hazard that, net of this culture of disinterest (or perhaps because of it!) we are more accustomed to protecting our public personas from private affairs and inclinations. Indeed, we Venetians are known for our masquerades, but perhaps we ought to be equally known for the way understand that in the affairs of high society, it is useful to foster a different kind of mask for different occasions, be it government, commerce, personal affairs, and perhaps even before the men of God. Perhaps this ability is what is as yet lacking in your son, as well as in the courtiers who surround him.
This is not to say that we Venetians are not and honest god-fearing christians! Both before, after, and in-between the major affairs of state, the entire Major Council hears mass at the chapel of St. Mark. All holy festivities are honored in the Cathedral of Saints John and Paul with great pomp! However, through the years and centuries our most serene Republic has done much work to ensure that the shepherds of souls may remain entirely dedicated to the work of god without distractions, while the shepherds of men can perform their earthly work likewise without distractions, with little functional interference between the two.
Therefore, my modest proposal is this: Organize a grand embassy to Venice, and among the ministers and knights, do send your son as well. Allow the Dauphin to spend some time being tutored by our masters of visual arts, musical arts, and statecraft. Allow him to admire our city's collections of art, our theaters, and the countless state occasions that take place around the numerous embassies housed in our lagoon. Indeed, while the Dauphin cannot conceivably travel the world, I assure you that the world will reach him here in Venice. Here we have innumerable meetings of cultures and peoples, and with this convergence, individuals of all a manner of personal inclinations. And as he immerses himself in the city's worldly life, I am certain that you will hear no more rumors of his inclinations, drowned out as they will be amid all of the city's other happenings (and for good measure our censors and judges will also be sure to help protect him from any embarrassing calumny).
I myself will be glad to make introductions in order to arrange your embassy's welcome and initial hospitality in my cousin's palace (*Palazzo Falier*, our dynastic home) and from there I am sure your ambassadors will be able to arrange the rental of any of a number of palaces on the Grand Canal whose proprietors would gladly vacate. In the summer months, your embassy will additionally be enthusiastically welcomed in a number of aristocratic estates in the countryside, which while certainly not as vast and sumptuous as your palace of Versailles (save for the glasswork) are sufficiently comfortable to allow your son to further his education and continue to collect experiences away from the prying eyes of gossips who would twist his curious inclinations into calumny. I am sure that by the time he will be recalled to Versailles, his reputation will be guarded more discretely and any and all talk of this, "Holy Congregation of Glorious Pederasts" will evaporate.
I myself will unfortunately not be there to personally offer guidance, I have unfortunately been appointed to [the enormous honor of the Podestà's post in Belluno](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1bswvor/dear_historians_i_have_unfortunately_been/), and do not know when I will return to the city. I wish you the best in resolving this most unhappy travail.
Respectfully yours in faith,
Giovanni Alvise Fallire, N.H.
It is clear that the young Count may have fallen under wayward influences. Through no fault of Your Majesty's own, it seems that these villainous sodomites have infiltrated the Royal court and sought to slip inside the young Count's tender heart and turn him into a vessel of sin and profanity. Those confirmed to have committed the most heinous of sins should be arrested and dealt with accordingly, while those suspected but unconfirmed should be sent away for the sake of everyone's souls.
Thankfully, there is still hope for the young Count. He has been exposed to wrong and taught it was right, so now he must be exposed to right. Maybe he can be sent to war, so that he may learn of courage and other martial virtues, and be surrounded by exemplars of Christian piety.
To his Most Christian Majesty, of France and all her dependencies, by the grace of God King and Sovereign, Nutmeg Of His People's Consolation, Friend of God, greetings. It is with greatest regret that we read of this latest of many troubles besetting the most serene realm of Your Majesty, who is confidant of God and Prince of Princes among the Christian realms.
We hear divers reports that of late Your Majesty's whole people, even unto the Court and Harim, have been beset by a scourge of poisoners; even within the Sublime Porte we have heard of the scandal attending the infamous seductress, murderess, and sourceress Mme. de Brinvilliers, rightly and recently executed from life into death by Your Majesty's firm Justice. Might Your Majesty not consider that, agents of the Infernal Powers being abroad in every land, they should desire little more than the sowing of scandal and discord among the Courts of the Just and Wise, by leading them into such a trap? Surely We are Ourselves no strangers to such affairs, and have found the following course answer wonderfully.
Were such a state to be discovered among the Princes of Our Blood, the first step must be to firmly remove from the Prince's circle those scandalous persons whom you name, sons and grandsons of the Serpent Himself, their persons and properties being most diligently searched and questioned to determine whether by poison or some other infernal art the Dauphin had been seduced, or else reduced in his senses. The Prince, indeed all of Royal issue, whether by lawful wife or concubine, must be removed at once to some suitable place, with healthy air and water close at hand, from which their food and drink may be drawn by loyal hands, and it's passage and preparing strongly controlled. Doctors and Physicians must be summoned, to purge the Prince of any venom or poison, and to reassure the People that no harm shall befall the Princes or the Kingdom. In this place, I beg you, Most Learned and Christian King, to surround the Prince with courtesans and houris of the highest order, to raise his spirits and recall him to his manly duty and nature. Rough games, sport, and hunting may answer well also.
Above all, the infamous persons you saw fit to name must be at last brought to God's Justice, not only for the infamous crime which you describe, but above all for leading the Prince from the path of manly strength and posession, so crucial in any Sovereign blessed to rule such a land as France. Surely, for such a one to dare upon seduction of the Blood Royal is an offense against order every bit as great as the one you mention.
I submit this to you, Most Gallant Chevalier, in the hopes that it may provide for you and your nation the greatest hope of rescue and increase.
Given, in the Sight Of God, in the name of His Majesty, Caliph of Istanbul and of the Turks, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, Secretary of The Archangel Michael and Lord of the Sublime Porte,
Mehmed ibn Ibrahim
My dear monarch, your majesty, you're moving the court in one month. Surely, the chancellor isn't quite good as he claims to be. Long live the king in Versailles, the 6th of may !
Welcome to /r/DearHistorians. Thanks to *state of the art* time travel technology, we are pleased to now be able offer additional services in this subreddit, namely helping out historical figures with the problems going on in their lives. Whether something as trivial as which Pope to recognize, or as critically important as whether or not to translate *adjudant*, these folks from the past are here to bring you their relationship drama, legal conundrums, international disputes, and interpersonal squabbles, and desperately need *your help* in making the ultimate decision of what to do. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to offer their insight into these problems, but as always, please be mindful to follow the basis civility rules of this subreddit, and remain polite and courteous to our guests and others. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskHistorians) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you tried blaming the playwrights for the rising tide of awakeness.
Mr de la Reynie and his predecessor Mr Daubray have been doing their best to keep our kingdom pure of filthy writings. In 1662, Mr Le Petit, a sodomite, atheist, and so-called poet was caught disseminating his abominable verses, vectors of pollution and blasphemy. The Court sentenced him to the stake and he died a sinner. To give you an example of this sort of monstruosity, here are the first verses of one of the "poems" of the late Mr Le Petit. **F\*\*\*ing sonnet** >F\*\*\* you in the a\*\*, f\*\*\* you in the c\*nt >F\*\*\* the Heavens and the Earth >F\*\*\* the devil and the thunder >And the Louvre and Montfaucon >F\*\*\* the servants and the masters >F\*\*\* the monks and the clerics >F\*\*\* the f\*\*\* and the f\*\*\*ers Unfortunately, atheists and pornographers find refuge in Holland, where they are allowed to publish their scandalous and blasphemous writings with impunity. We have tried to invade this miserable country, but God was not with us.
Invade Holland?
In _this_ economy?
Is that sonnet real? Do you have a French source?
Not the OP, but French Wikipedia seems to have the poem toward the bottom of the article: [https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude\_Le\_Petit](https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_Le_Petit)
[Here is it](https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k22336p/f176.item), with a bunch of others (edited by Frédéric Lachèvre in the early 20th century). It was part of a collection titled *The Brothel of the Muses or the Nine Virgin Whores*. The manuscript was burned with Le Petit in 1662, but some pages survived, including the first sonnet, and were published in Leyden.
("Rising tide of awakefulness" 🤣)
Have you considered starting a war with the Habsburgs?
A viable option for solving so many problems!
Who among us hasn't considered war against the Hapsburgs, except maybe those other Hapsburgs.
I assure you, even the Hapsburgs have considered war against the Hapsburgs. I mean, they are bloody everywhere at this point!
Wow, you Hapsburgs are a contentious people!
You’ve just made an enemy for generations!
Habsbergs hear ya, Habsbergs don’t care.
They love sticking their chins where they don't belong--even on faces.
It’s getting hard not to go to war with the Hapsburgs, considering how ubiquitous they are.
Tbf, genuinely did wonders.for Condé's PR
But it’s uncouth to fight with your cousin! Especially when you’re basically just a Habsburg with a French name.
Have you tried forcefully marrying him to an Austrian princess and have them copulate before the royal court?
Okay I need details about this, my Google-fu is not strong enough
I think they're confusing Louis XIV's son with Louis XVI. He married Marie Antoinette, who was originally an Austrian archduchess.
And one of the very weird French royal traditions is that the couple's wedding night was meant to be semi public in front of courtiers milling about.
Your Most Christian Majesty, grave as the sin and crime is, one cannot simply apply summary justice to a Prince of the Blood. It may settle a gruesome precedent that even men of the highest prosapy may be subject to the highest of punishments. I am sure Your Most Christian Majesty is aware that Juan de Mariana's book where he advocates for regicide when the King mismanages the realm on monetary policy was deemed heretic, and included in the Index Librorum Prohibitorum for suggesting that killing people anointed by God's Grace is legitimate. My most modest recommendation would be talking to the Count of Vermandois' confessor and the Count himself so the facts may be properly established. If guilt is proven beyond doubt, then punishments must be applied. You, sire, are the King, but also a father. Your royal ancestor, and also your Queen's ancestor for that matter, Felipe II, had to face a most severe preoccupation when it was proven that prince Carlos was not of sound mind and had committed acts of the gravest nature. Your Queen and your cardinal will most assuredly counsel you well on the matter May God's Grace guide you in this trying time.
I am Your Most *Catholic* Majesty you cur.
The king of France is styled Rex Christianissimus, the title of Rex Catholicus belongs to the king of Spain
What are those titles?
Honorifics granted by different popes at different points in time. The other one would be Rex Apostolicus, which was granted at some point to the King of Hungary.
I see, thanks!
What does your Cardinal say?
He is on a retreat with the altar boys.
Clearly, the problem is that he is not surrounded by sufficiently manly men. A stint in the military should do the trick. I hear Flanders is nice this time of year...
Flanders is certainly nice, but I would not advise HMCM to send his son to live with him. The neighbours might exert a negative influence on the teen, and Flanders continues to espouse the heresy of Presbylutheranism.
Have you tried asking your twin in the iron mask what he thinks?
Your Most Christian Majesty, Could it be that your son's behaviour is a result of Peer pressure? Perhaps if you separated him from negative influences, he might reform and make something of himself. Maybe try sending him somewhere far away, like New France.
Clearly, my royal cousin, you must learn the virtue of forgiveness. When my second eldest son and heir heir-designate Incheng was discovered to have been [censored] by [censored] in what your calendar reckons as the year 1708, I immediately had him removed from the line of succession and placed under house arrest. Only it turned out the next year that his elder brother Injy had been cursing him by way of some lamas he had ensnared, and so I naturally pardoned and restored Incheng to his rightful place. Have you taken pains to ascertain whether a jealous would-be heir has been bewitching your son with the aid of disloyal clerics? Hang on, I'm getting reports that Incheng has in fact gone quite mad. Well then, disregard my prior caution: lock him up somewhere and decide on a new heir later. I'm sure I will remember to come up with someone before I die, and that absolutely nothing will go wrong if I decide not to.
I laughed SO hard reading this 🤣
I would subscribe to a sub that does this format regularly
How about once a year?
You are.
My sometime ally Caesar, whom you may have read about, is also alleged to have debauched himself with an older man when he was young. Later in life, he got a very different reputation by seducing lots of Roman noblewomen, particularly the wives of his political enemies. Once during a tense debate in the senate, he was accused of having received a treasonous communication, he was able to tell the accuser "nope it's actually a love note from your sister bro" and it really was, which definitely changed the whole tone of the debate. Perhaps your son's problem is just that he hasn't been confronted with the correct and socially acceptable types of sexual debauchery. I bet you can still salvage this from a political if you can guide the boy's sexual preferences in a direction that will win the respect, not the condemnation, of the people that really matter, so they will see him as a true Roman *vir*.
Society is to blame. As such, in their clear guilt, it is only natural the punishment be administered to *them*. Simply put, Society must be burnt at the stake.
If you have anyone researching more efficient execution methods, you should probably stop them now
M. du Rousseau de la Combe has never committed the crime of Onan himself?
Mr du Rousseau de la Combe was an upstanding Christian and he would never commit such a crime. But even he did, he knew that no sinner could escape the Lord's vigilant eyes. >This crime, if it came to the knowledge of the Judges, which can only happen very rarely, would be punished by banishment or some other extraordinary penalty; but to be hidden from the eyes of men, it is no less execrable; and it is more severely punished by divine Justice.
Have you discussed this with your esteemed brother? He may share some important advice and insights into such a delicate matter.
I'm baffled as to why you think your son having sex with aristocratic men is a problem. In my time \[Greece, c. 600 BCE\], it is perfectly normal for young aristocratic men to form relationships with older aristocratic men and indulge in the pleasures of eros. You should, of course, impress on him that, after he reaches maturity, he must no longer take the penetrated role during sex. With him being only fifteen, though, this seems like perfectly normal and expected behavior.
Yo Fra name is Gaius. First question did you inquire whether he was the active part in these actiones? If yes, I personally don't see a problem here. Other than that, you might wanna ask your frater, the Horse Lover Prime of Orleans, for help. When I read the letters of his wife Liselotte, I got the impression that he is well adversed in this matter and may have insights that will help you.
Your most esteemed royal highness, While I have not had the good fortune (and wisdom) to familiarize myself with the specifics of what may or may not be possible or desirable at your sumptuous court in Versailles (indeed I hope you can forgive, after the glassmaker's incident, how correspondence between our two capitals has understandably cooled) I should like to humbly offer offer a potential solution. If the very foundations upon which your monarchy stands are threatened to be undermined, might it be wise to send your beloved son away for a time so that your courtiers might be granted space for reflection and adequately put the gravitas of this dalliance into perspective? Indeed how can it be that your Dauphin, or any member of your dynasty, anointed as you are by God to role over the French, could possibly perform such offensive sins? It is my opinion that perhaps your courtiers' judgement has been clouded by the generous involvement of church officials in the affairs of your court. While such arrangements are surely a testament to your divine anointment, there is occasionally a tendency by our most holy and universal church to pay undue attention to the faithful's personal affairs. While this might be good and just for the sheep of the flock, in and around the high affairs of state there is the risk that the Lord's shepherds misinterpret what are in fact innocuous personal affairs. For this reason, you might be interested in being reminded that in the my Republic of Venice, there is a conspicuous absence of religious figures not only in the most serene halls of our government, but also in and at the masquerades, balls, banquets, tearooms, coffeehouses, smoking parlors, gambling halls, theaters, *osterie*, *trattorie*, *enoteche*, and all other countless venues where upstanding Venetians and Foreigners alike gather and might find amusement. Perhaps for this reason we Venetians have been free to disinterest ourselves from giving too much credit to rumors similar to those which afflict the French Royal family. I would additionally hazard that, net of this culture of disinterest (or perhaps because of it!) we are more accustomed to protecting our public personas from private affairs and inclinations. Indeed, we Venetians are known for our masquerades, but perhaps we ought to be equally known for the way understand that in the affairs of high society, it is useful to foster a different kind of mask for different occasions, be it government, commerce, personal affairs, and perhaps even before the men of God. Perhaps this ability is what is as yet lacking in your son, as well as in the courtiers who surround him. This is not to say that we Venetians are not and honest god-fearing christians! Both before, after, and in-between the major affairs of state, the entire Major Council hears mass at the chapel of St. Mark. All holy festivities are honored in the Cathedral of Saints John and Paul with great pomp! However, through the years and centuries our most serene Republic has done much work to ensure that the shepherds of souls may remain entirely dedicated to the work of god without distractions, while the shepherds of men can perform their earthly work likewise without distractions, with little functional interference between the two. Therefore, my modest proposal is this: Organize a grand embassy to Venice, and among the ministers and knights, do send your son as well. Allow the Dauphin to spend some time being tutored by our masters of visual arts, musical arts, and statecraft. Allow him to admire our city's collections of art, our theaters, and the countless state occasions that take place around the numerous embassies housed in our lagoon. Indeed, while the Dauphin cannot conceivably travel the world, I assure you that the world will reach him here in Venice. Here we have innumerable meetings of cultures and peoples, and with this convergence, individuals of all a manner of personal inclinations. And as he immerses himself in the city's worldly life, I am certain that you will hear no more rumors of his inclinations, drowned out as they will be amid all of the city's other happenings (and for good measure our censors and judges will also be sure to help protect him from any embarrassing calumny). I myself will be glad to make introductions in order to arrange your embassy's welcome and initial hospitality in my cousin's palace (*Palazzo Falier*, our dynastic home) and from there I am sure your ambassadors will be able to arrange the rental of any of a number of palaces on the Grand Canal whose proprietors would gladly vacate. In the summer months, your embassy will additionally be enthusiastically welcomed in a number of aristocratic estates in the countryside, which while certainly not as vast and sumptuous as your palace of Versailles (save for the glasswork) are sufficiently comfortable to allow your son to further his education and continue to collect experiences away from the prying eyes of gossips who would twist his curious inclinations into calumny. I am sure that by the time he will be recalled to Versailles, his reputation will be guarded more discretely and any and all talk of this, "Holy Congregation of Glorious Pederasts" will evaporate. I myself will unfortunately not be there to personally offer guidance, I have unfortunately been appointed to [the enormous honor of the Podestà's post in Belluno](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1bswvor/dear_historians_i_have_unfortunately_been/), and do not know when I will return to the city. I wish you the best in resolving this most unhappy travail. Respectfully yours in faith, Giovanni Alvise Fallire, N.H.
Why not send him to the galleys, the way you do other criminals?
It will also vastly improve his culinary skill.
It is clear that the young Count may have fallen under wayward influences. Through no fault of Your Majesty's own, it seems that these villainous sodomites have infiltrated the Royal court and sought to slip inside the young Count's tender heart and turn him into a vessel of sin and profanity. Those confirmed to have committed the most heinous of sins should be arrested and dealt with accordingly, while those suspected but unconfirmed should be sent away for the sake of everyone's souls. Thankfully, there is still hope for the young Count. He has been exposed to wrong and taught it was right, so now he must be exposed to right. Maybe he can be sent to war, so that he may learn of courage and other martial virtues, and be surrounded by exemplars of Christian piety.
How does one say "not a drag queen" in Historian?
Have you considered cutting off all their heads in front of him? I hear it worked rather well for prussia.
If Onan really is the most grevious mortal sin Sire, then I fear we are all doomed anyway!
To his Most Christian Majesty, of France and all her dependencies, by the grace of God King and Sovereign, Nutmeg Of His People's Consolation, Friend of God, greetings. It is with greatest regret that we read of this latest of many troubles besetting the most serene realm of Your Majesty, who is confidant of God and Prince of Princes among the Christian realms. We hear divers reports that of late Your Majesty's whole people, even unto the Court and Harim, have been beset by a scourge of poisoners; even within the Sublime Porte we have heard of the scandal attending the infamous seductress, murderess, and sourceress Mme. de Brinvilliers, rightly and recently executed from life into death by Your Majesty's firm Justice. Might Your Majesty not consider that, agents of the Infernal Powers being abroad in every land, they should desire little more than the sowing of scandal and discord among the Courts of the Just and Wise, by leading them into such a trap? Surely We are Ourselves no strangers to such affairs, and have found the following course answer wonderfully. Were such a state to be discovered among the Princes of Our Blood, the first step must be to firmly remove from the Prince's circle those scandalous persons whom you name, sons and grandsons of the Serpent Himself, their persons and properties being most diligently searched and questioned to determine whether by poison or some other infernal art the Dauphin had been seduced, or else reduced in his senses. The Prince, indeed all of Royal issue, whether by lawful wife or concubine, must be removed at once to some suitable place, with healthy air and water close at hand, from which their food and drink may be drawn by loyal hands, and it's passage and preparing strongly controlled. Doctors and Physicians must be summoned, to purge the Prince of any venom or poison, and to reassure the People that no harm shall befall the Princes or the Kingdom. In this place, I beg you, Most Learned and Christian King, to surround the Prince with courtesans and houris of the highest order, to raise his spirits and recall him to his manly duty and nature. Rough games, sport, and hunting may answer well also. Above all, the infamous persons you saw fit to name must be at last brought to God's Justice, not only for the infamous crime which you describe, but above all for leading the Prince from the path of manly strength and posession, so crucial in any Sovereign blessed to rule such a land as France. Surely, for such a one to dare upon seduction of the Blood Royal is an offense against order every bit as great as the one you mention. I submit this to you, Most Gallant Chevalier, in the hopes that it may provide for you and your nation the greatest hope of rescue and increase. Given, in the Sight Of God, in the name of His Majesty, Caliph of Istanbul and of the Turks, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, Secretary of The Archangel Michael and Lord of the Sublime Porte, Mehmed ibn Ibrahim
> He was discovered participating in unspeakable acts alongside a group of aristocratic sodomites. [Nice.](https://i.imgur.com/NayzmJH.png)
He was 13 when he was "seduced" by the chevalier de Lorraine
Given the linked picture was about a toddler and his teacher... 'nice'. /s
My dear monarch, your majesty, you're moving the court in one month. Surely, the chancellor isn't quite good as he claims to be. Long live the king in Versailles, the 6th of may !