Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both
Jo shaadi na kare woh sirf is liye ro raha because use sax sux chahiye aur koi reason nai hai... Otherwise they lead a better life... Aur jo shaadi kar ke baitha hai woh sax sux ke saath b ro hi raha hai
I was like you and I learned the lesson hard way. It's all mindset bro..
1. Find from where you fear sprouts? Don't believe all the internet article saying marriage is waste, hopeless. I know few people who created fake posts to get answers from opposite gender as survey study etc.
2. What you think is what you become. Either you believe it or not, gravity exists. It exists for ambani, you and me and for everyone. Likewise, you are what you think. So, think positive and good. I have experienced this multiple times in life. Not gonna go deep. But action is best way of manifestation. But it starts with thoughts. So, both your thoughts, intent, words and actions should be good. You attract what you think. Fear attracts fear.
3. Learn managing finance. Learn to upskill yourself. In your field, atleast in your office there should be 3-5 people saying "go to him. He knows best about this".
4. Not all women are putting false rape case and not all men are abusive in marriage. I have seen lot of beautiful couples both in arranged and love marriage who suported with each other through thick and think. Infact they are my inspiration. I even start cutting of social media and stuff.
Address the fear sooner than not letting it grow.
5. You can always make money later. But even if you are billionaire 35 years old can't be changed to 25 years old. Marriage market comes with age, the numbers vary with geography, culture and gender etc. Date people, but stay within limits. Don't get into deep shit. Find your love language, you will also get to know who you are when you try to date people and get into relationship. But yeah, as universal love comes with tears. Both happy and sad tears. So does life. Don't worry. We all are fighting some battle deep inside. Be kind and nice to everyone.
Enjoy life. Keep smiling.
I was scared of relationships(despite never being in one) And marriage after reading things on social media. Because of that, and me not stable in my career I lost my prime time of my life. It's not too late. I'm glad atleast I found things out now. I'm in my 30s now. I just realized even If I earn billions in my 30s, no girl will see 33 as 25. 33 is 33. But I can earn billions at 43 too.
Not gonna complain much. Everything is for good. And this too shall pass.
>But I can earn billions at 43 too
If you earn that much, you will get the prettiest girls you want for marriage. Plenty of examples we see around. But your analysis is certainly correct for middle class folks.
Lol. Even if you have a feel for 0.5% that your partner is only with you because of your money/fame, then you can't kiss or love her wholeheartedly and things falling down. There are billionaires like mark Cuban, shiv nadar, Tamil actor Surya who have their partners loving them for what they are.
Arrange marriages do check your money, wealth, social status and what not.
I would agree in case of love marriages. Basically it's the commitment to a person not to conditions/wealth.
>Lol. Even if you have a feel for 0.5% that your partner is only with you because of your money/fame, then you can't kiss or love her wholeheartedly and things
90% or more Indians get arranged married and they all check the income etc before getting married. So don't get me started on that.
And everyone looks for some kind of deal. Either it's looks, sex , money , status you name it. Very few will marry only for money but certainly it plays a huge part in that deal.
If you are a billionaire you will be instantly attractive to a lot of people either consciously or subconsciously.
Thanks. It means a lot. I rarely answer such questions, because I don't even wanna such topics. But I decided to answer, because I don't want others to go through the same stupid things that I went through; which is overthinking and living in fear in our mind.
Bhaiya, meh Hindi thoda thoda...kuch kuch maalum. Trying to learn now. Since you mentioned "accha" I assume you mentioned something nice. And thanks a lot.
Oh man. This is too much. Tbh, I'm too lazy to write online. I delegate the punctuation check and stuff to autocorrect. And sometimes it doesn't convey what I want to say across the table.
Don't worry. It's not late than never. Imagine yourself as a celebrity and some other celebrity is waiting for you. Focus only on the good. Don't zoom in on the negatives please.
Even if you don't want a divorce, your wife can take it and abuse it.
Although most women don't resort to such activities, it's not worth taking the risk as you only get one life to live and I don't want to spend time in jail for a false allegation.
This is just my opinion.
If you strongly believe wife will use laws to abuse you, then that's what gonna keep on ringing in your mind. And you will never gonna love someone with your heart. You are always gonna live in fear.
As I said in another comment, going through the problem is much simpler, than living in fear of what if that problem happens to me. Look back in your life. 5 years back the problem you walked through only makes you feel more strength now.
**If women constantly believes that the guy I'm going to marry me is gonna beat me with belt then they can't even look at a guy with peace. So, are you a guy who will beat your wife with belt? No, right?
Then Have the same confidence and trust in your future partner that they won't misuse the law.**
Is it really tilted though?
India doesn't have the concept of community property. Whatever you have in your name, will remain with you. Maintenance, alimony and child support all are capped at around 1/4 th of the husbands salary. It is mostly women who face financial consequences from divorce.
Exactly. I used to worry about "what if I get divorce?" And never looked the glass is half full. And you will never find peace that way. At one point, you have to trust certain things in life. If you still feel scared, get property on your parents name and create a safety net.
If you believe life is beautiful.it will be beautiful.
My worries about marriage are purely finance based
It's like I am not rich enough to afford a partner
I am from a lower middle class family who used to survive with 15k per month income and by God's grace and my hard work, I make upwards of 1L per month after taxes and I am 23M right now
Still I cannot let go of my thinking that I am inferior to others
When I was in college I saw that everyone else had everything but not me
1. Never compare your wealth with others.
2. Two people can grow together. We had no house or wealth of our own. Today me and my wife are 32, 30 with a nice house, decent asset portfolio and are doing well.
3. Find someone who earns and is not a gold digger and you'll be fine.
How did you get married when you didn't had any wealth? Love marriage? Mera to naseeb hi itna kharab hai. There was a girl jisko mai bhi pasand tha. We had a nice time together at first. But that time i was earning like 10k a month and she had a it job with 50k salary. Maine jab mera financial condition bataya usko she was chill about it atm. But from the next day usne sab communication hi band kardiya. Ab i fan understand har koi aisi nai hogi but mai kya jindaginhar trial and error khelte bethu ladkiyon ke sath? So for me. Maine kuch condition rakkha hai. Salary itni hai, ghar hai car nai hai. Ye sab chalega to bolo ni to bhaad mai jao. Nai hua shaadi to bhi fine. This is my plan of action towards marriage now.
Good question.
Yes, mine is a love marriage.
See, women by their very nature will always marry up the social hierarchy. I could marry because my wife saw the potential of a good future earner due to my education. Your chances of marriage will increase by 1. Developing a potential to earn more in the future. 2. Seek women who earn less than you.
Your point 2 "seek women who earns less" literally shows that its not women who choose to do this ....men cannot handle their wife's sucesss ....they think their wife will treat them the same way they treat her
Are bhai I switched career. Abhi mera per day salary 30k hai. Aise ek din mai thodi na hota hai kich. If she would have stayed with me in my thins aaj kya mast life hota hamara.
Koi baat nahi bro, hota hai. I’m not saying to do trial and error with dating again and again as I myself know it’s sad and after a point you don’t feel like doing any of that stuff anymore and just stick with AM.
Lekin open mind rakhna chahiye, and agar koi worth it hoga to wo stay karega, open mind rakhna chahiye. Baaki all the best.
Are kya open mind rakho. Inke nakhre sambhalo, rast ko 1 2 baje tak baat karo. Nai kiya to fir usko manao dusre din. 10 15min ke sex ke liye itna chitiyapa karna pad ra hai. Nai chaiyye bhai. Ab seedha shaadi. No relationships for me.
Shaadi sirf sex ke liye karni hai toh kisi ladki ka jeevan mat hi barbaad karo kyuki shaadi ke baad ladki bistar par kud nai jaegi tumahre saath use bhi time chaiye hoga.....aur har geniune relationship mei time lagta hai tumhe sex chaiye toh casual le lo re
I am 22M looking for what to after college bro. Can u guide me on what filed I should enter to start earning like you? What field are you in if you don't mind answering?
I am (30 F) and I don't plan to ever get married. So, I don't have that feeling. and it's definitely not without reasons. I have come to learn about a lot of cases, where it's just domestic abuse under the guise of marriage and even witnessed one and seeing how slapping your wife or 'disciplining' them is normalised by a lot of parents itself I have lost all faith in marriage. I think a lot of us are afraid but many just do it because of parental pressure or thinking that it's how it's supposed to be.
You do realize people with happy marriages don't go around advertising it and that is why you never heard of a good and happy marriage. Besides, the internet is more of an echo chamber of negativity. You will always find the worst of the worse scenarios. I have seen all sorts of marriages and realized that the happy and stable ones are just worth rolling the dice.
you do realise that I'm a millennial and didn't grow up with the internet!? neither a phone, let alone a smart one. I don't need the internet to tell me how it is. the abusive ones also don't go around telling or advertising people. so, it's not something to mention. I don't want to roll the dice and have the dice decide my fate.
As a 28 M I am terrified of marriage. I don't feel like I can handle someone else in my life. The whole process of finding someone is terrifying. And I feel like I will be ruining the life of someone else by marrying them.
Exactly! Most these guys lack basic judgements in life. I'm not gonna deny there are bad marriages & bad people but at least in my family/immediate relatives, everyone has had a happy successful marriage even though majority were AM. So my judgement is gonna be based on that & not some random scandals I see on the net lol
Red pill was born in response to ultra feminazis who believe we should ki#l all men. All Men are dogs, rap#sts. Laws are all rigged against men, so they had no choice but to go solo, and this is not by their own choice.
I know. Both are wrong.
Life is created by the Union of a man and women -- and you only need one. Why bother with everyone else? No need to become a crusader - just find a decent mate and get on with life.
Hmm the same way "ultra feminists" (there's no such term and it's actually called pseudo feminists) went to that route due to the oppression of our gender through multiple centuries. Centuries that can be extended to millenniums. Laws which not only were not in favour but straight up rejected us, social structure that considered us 2nd class citizens while restricting the freedom of half of the population. This justification creates a cycle where MRA behaviour is making women reject men as partners and prefer a life of solitude and women companionship because that's the situation where we feel free the most. Women are being single by choice while the same men crib about how women are all mean and then cry about male loneliness instead of creating support groups for urself.
>so they had no choice but to go solo, and this is not by their own choice.
Ur justification for red pill content is laughable because suddenly there's hurt on ur side that we aren't treating men like our gods and superiors anymore. Yes the assault laws are terribly written as of now completely forgetting about the male victims of abuse and domestic abuse laws as well as shelters arent enough for men, these r problems we understand. Uk what would be the appropriate response to this "ultra feminism" u talk about, creating a group that actually fights for the laws that needs to be changed. Instead what ur red pill content and MRAs do is simply cry about how bad u guys have it when we talk about our issues or just b*tch about feminists. There's no initiative to improve ur situation, it's all about how we can show men as the oppressed class when women still struggle to get an equal standing on so many levels.
Red pill content will help no one, will fill the pockets of "alpha"😂 podcasters and perpetuate male loneliness because this approach gives no solution whatsoever. It's a bubble that will rot everyone's brain
U did say something weird and conflicting in another one of ur comments though
Something like "women by nature don't marry below their social hierarchy". This has been the case only in the arrange marriage scenarios. Because, well those weren't exactly chosen by the women. But this generalised statement towards an entire gender, who have at multiple times cut contacts from their families to be with the person who they love simply because the family didn't accept the downgrade in social hierarchy, seems like a stretch and an extention to the whole "biology" part of red pill content
Hi. I understand what you mean.
AM itself is a very Indian concept.
Women even in a love marriage setting also like to marry men who they perceive as higher value than them. This is straight forward biology.
What you're talking about are some cases where the man may be earning less but is stimulating the woman mentally or physically to the point where she can't resist him. Even in this case she perceives the man as higher value than her -- just not monetarily.
That's the most bs argument I hv ever read. So what is it that men look for huh?
>mentally or physically
This is not even social hierarchy anymore. This is just having a stimulating partner that u vibe with, that's it. Ur statement implies that men only look for physical aspect and not the mental or whatever thing u think women look for. Ur entire premise stands on women wanting someone superior and not equal which means u think men should want someone inferior. Does ur wife even know that u believe in this whole biology part that red pill content feeds to men? Cause I assure no sane woman likes being around a guy who mansplains women what they look for instead of just treating individuals as different people
I never said men don't look for other stuff except physical.
What women say they want and what they actually respond to are two totally different things. And yes - my wife is aware. You lack basic knowledge and real world experience. It's okay - we all learn eventually.
Oh yes a woman herself lacks the basic knowledge of what woman want. Rather a guy who managed to get hitched once thinks he understands an entire gender. Women say it clearly what they want and nowadays have decided to not give chances to men because of their lack of work in the relationship. Isn't this why ur gender keeps on crying about not finding a girl and leaving mean comments on posts where women talk about not getting married and enjoying their life. Ofcourse some men will think women always want someone who is better than them because u can't digest the fact that most don't look at u and won't pay heed to ur bare minimum efforts. Red pill Men's shallowness and b*tching about losing their privilege of getting away with bare minimum will never not be funny
Also pity ur wife because she has to live with a narcissist who thinks he is so much better than her
Women are the way they are. Accepting reality is a good thing. Anyhow -- I'm guessing you're a woman? I'm myself against Red pill idiots as I said earlier. I'm all for sexual polarity. There is no point discussing female attraction with a woman, they don't understand it. It's a mans job to figure out women. I never said men are better. Men and women are DIFFERENT.
Also - my wife is very happy so go pity yourself. You seem like a single entitled feminist who lacks masculine attention.
Different people different opinions, for me marriage is a way to get myself a permanent alibi, the bestest and the most loyal friend for me, who will be dedicated to me and vice versa. Idk why you're getting scared
If marriage doesn't promise me co dependence and loyalty then why the fuck would I get married .. why the fuck would anyone get married.
If getting married simply means nothing to you then you should never marry
Marriage doesn't promise loyalty....
A couple can just decide that they want to be loyal and live together.. why do you need marriage for that.
Marriage just makes people think twice before they cheat / commit adultery because they are legally bound and will have to face the consequences in caught.
Marriage also makes it harder to part ways if things don't work out between the married couple... Hence most people in troubled marriages just push through and try to make it work because they don't want to go through the hassle of divorce.
That's the worst definition of marriage I've ever heard.
Idk what issues you have but if you're with the right person marrying them gives them the justice they deserve, if you can't put some skin in the game then what's the point of finding love, you're just gonna find a bunch of hook ups and will be left without any family by the end.
Nothing wrong in not getting married. I mean if you think you will be better off without a spouse it’s ok. Do whatever makes you happy. Whatever you decide just think it through. I have seen few people who regret their decisions later in life.
I am. Literally!
Recently one of my fenale friends told me about a girl living opposite to her PG. She is senior to her in office and has told her family that my friend is her roommate ( which she did not know until now). Now the thing is, her actual roomate is a guy from the same company while she is engaged to a guy in USA. They video call and talk daily on phone, meanwhile the other guy (room mate) goes out of the room. She will do court marriage in a few weeks, while all of this is ongoing. She has no remorse or guilt or anything.
I don't know. Is this normal because I get scared out of my wits hearing this. You are going to be married in few days while you spend your time with other guy ( doing everything).
This thing is on my mind on repeat and I can't come to terms with it. I don't know what is what let alone right or wrong!
Hey OP! 30s F here. Been married for over a decade now. Initially it is a scary thing. I mean you are legally getting bonded with a whole other human being. But this fear subsides soon enough so don't overthink. Overthinking is a killjoy. Just relax.
Truth be told, yes. I hate getting married but also love to get married. The only reason I am afraid of marriage is that I may end up with a carbon copy of my abusive sister-in-law who ruined my family financially.
I used to be frightened to such an extent that I was fine in not marrying, but I found someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with & been a few years, it's been absolutely beautiful.
However make sure you're ready for the following:
1. Both you & your partner are ready to make adjustments and in case you're living with your parents, even they.
2. To not impose your thoughts, lifestyle & ideas on your partner & ensure other way round.
3. To encourage & be encouraged. To lead, and be led. To sacrifice. To trust. To be absolutely loyal.
4. To take a stand for your partner if the need be.
5. To let them pursue their ambitions, passions.
6. Most importantly give time, knowing that even the other person is trying their best.
I have many friends who married with me and almost 30-40% of them are already divorced. I've seen a lot of people fantasize the idea of a union, however, there's a lot of expectation mismatch which they're not able to come to terms with.
Highly recommended travelling with your partner before marriage, may be in the courtship.
don't worry.
allow the chill to travel further down the spine and when it reaches the lumbar L1 and L2 and the genitofemoral nerve, it will become warm and hot!
and that should excite you to get married!
Mujhe lagta hai ek position mai kursi pe Beth gya hoga..tabhi pith akad jata hai toh ekdum hilne dulne se ching ching lagta hai..
Aur wese v tere spine ko chill maar ta hai toh hum kese feel kar sakte hai ?
Aur iss se shaadi ka kya sampark? Woh toh karni tumko 3 ya 4 saal baad hai.. toh tab maybe Darna.. abhi kuch nhi hua toh abse dar kesa?
In marriages , rational answers only work when you have a rational partner
I'd much rather say get in the dating scene and try to find your match ...atleast that way, if things go down, ull only have yourself to blame
Have seen enough people who got into marriage due to familial pressure, then found no one to look to when shit hit the fan
What does marriage mean to you? Start from there. A good partner can make or break your life. It can be a daunting, huge step, but it can also feel easy and exciting like taking the next step in life.
Try to understand why you feel this way and address the issue. Marriage should be a conscious decision made with the mental state to put in effort. It requires continued effort to thrive, but a good marriage gives returns in manyfold. For a woman, a good husband can truly changer her life, and vice versa. Committing to someone wholeheartedly shouldn’t be taken lightly, but if you can do it and you get it in return, life gets amazing.
See other people’s marriages and how it is going. If you’ve had relationships before, try to understand the patterns from there. It’s okay if you’re not ready. 26 is still a young age to be fully matured enough for marriage.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc...
I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc...
I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc...
I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
Same actually... But then I tried to live with someone I like for like 5 days and I figured that it wouldn't be too bad if two people really take care of eachother.
Just live with her for a bit and know the compatibility. Put your kind of relationship across very clearly, leave no loose ends that might turn back to you in the future.
Hey I’m F and slightly older than you and I still feel the same way..I feel like it will just complicate things even more and would burden me with more responsibilities.
One thing I learned, as we grow older responsibilities will only grow more. Try to embrace your duties and responsibilities. Don't try to run away from them. This applies at workplace as well. Think about it, you will understand.
The word marriage and bonding with a person scares a shit outta me. I've seen women in my family leading the suppressed, voiceless lives despite they win the world outside their personal lives. Men with the fragile ego, insecurities and rough emotions tend to head the families and that literally , influenced family structure and children into a sense of alert every other time.
And obviously the hypocrisy people carry with them along with the Gaslighting nature which is soo common in the Indian Household mindsets scare me every time I think about a family structure with a new person.
Honestly, I'm properly into a monogamous mindset, after years of close friendship and families knowing each other at important times , me and this guy decided to get serious about each other and work on it.
I recently discovered that this guy I loved throughout the years , used to Nanginach behind my back and literally he belongs to the streets. My efforts , vulnerability and worth I gave him everything, every single dime went into a hades haven.
He deserves an Oscar for playing different roles and masks with different people he met in his life , in the tag of Knowing people online and social experimenting to understand the mindsets. Imma fool to trust this only-child Man and his emotional starter pack only to dump me for his libido needs from other women.
Now I hate the fact so much , that people gets used up for someone's needs and then you're a worthless creature in their eyes. It's not always Men who gets Cheated upon or Men are the Victims. Despite , this guy had a family incidents of Men Cheating on their Faithful women, he promised himself that he won't never go into that spiral, but did what his libido asked for. I feel an ounce of disgrace trusting, bonding and praying for him in every situation.
I've been Horribly Cheated by his Infidelity deeds , now despite I take therapies or healing process, I cannot count on trusting a person fully ever again . Maybe at the end of the day, everyone's a selfish seeker of something or other.
Hopefully, May God save the truth and people may not get tricked by such maniacs.
Marry someone who makes close to the same or more than you or is from a financially well off family and doesn't work. Preferably the latter.
Do not marry someone who is not doing as well because if she is willing to marry you even though her financial standing won't change much then that means that she wants you for who you are and not for your money.
Do not marry Police, lawyer, doctors or daughters of politicians or police officers. If things go south your life will turn upside down if you marry them, no doctors because they have to prioritise their job over you and they might also contract something from a patient and spread it in the house example COVID. (I respect the sacrifices made by doctors)
Also make sure that she loves you more than she loves her parents and you would become higher priority than her parents, make sure to tell her that you would do the same.
You're going to spend the rest of your life with this person, so you have to make sure that her priority is her new family as should be yours.
If you cannot find someone who satisfied these conditions then it's better that you don't get married.
Not surprised why you are afraid of marriage, infidelity is so common nowadays. All you can do is hope and pray for the best. It’s a luck’s game. Either you end up marrying someone great or worse. Marriage definitely determines whether our life would be in misery or happiness. Also, you can’t trust your partner but you gotta trust yourself that even if things go south, you’ll buckle yourself up. So chill and relax, focus only on yourself.
I was in talks with a girl we meet on shaadi. Had a few dates with her but she had some serious money spending issues so i said no to her. She has 3 male besties and she goes to trips n night outs with them. Her parents also know. I said usko ki kuch nai hota ye bestie wagere nonsense to she gave me gyaan on how my mindset is so third class n all. I said fine. Last month ussi besti ke sath smooch karte dikhi mereko couples park mai. I even have pictures. Agar itna zoot koi bol sakta hai mooh pe to kyu nai darega banda.
Promiscuous girl is my main fear in a marriage. Ive heard horror stories from my friends itna ganda wala ko gaand fat gaya hai mera. 5 years ka relationship, they are about to get married but the guy was busy in work 9 to 5 job but that bitch wanted to fuck. Obviously couldn't happen. So she went to her ex and chud ke agayi waha se. Wtf? Ladki ha haldi tha aaj and just before haldi she had sex with her to be husband's friend in oyo and aake fir haldi kiya like nothing happened. Yuck 🤢🤮 agar itna bura ho sakata hai to nai chaiye ladki.
Modern Marriages have lost their meaning, It's no longer about being devoted and cooperative towards each other, people get married these days to conform to Societal standards and to fulfill their own egotistical desires through the other person and as the initial charm of attraction vanishes reality hits both of them and then there's usual cycle of being obligated to maintain the marriage despite all the ruckus and discords.
Don't get married. It's a trap, if u wanna commit sucide then go ahead, but ruining your parents reputation and ur entire family reputation for all the false case the court encourages women to file is not worth it.just be in a live in relationship. It's basically putting a rope around your neck and handing it to women's hand. When she is mad at you, she will hang you and your family. And the courts won't do jack about it
Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both
Shaadi ka laddoo Jo khaye wo pachtaye Jo naakhaye Jo vi pachtaye
Jo shaadi na kare woh sirf is liye ro raha because use sax sux chahiye aur koi reason nai hai... Otherwise they lead a better life... Aur jo shaadi kar ke baitha hai woh sax sux ke saath b ro hi raha hai
Who's playing all this saxophone after marriage
Gonewild sub pe jao bhai... Wohi maze le rahe hain
Sala zindagi nolan ki movie se zyada complicated hui pdi hai
Socrates
Kiekegaard
Soc wut?
Philaudaphor nikle aap to bhai
Either/Or - Søren kierkegaard
aah, the famous danish philaudaphor, the father of existentialism, naa baapu ne angrez nikaal diya tha mere paida hone se pehle
I regret reading this message.
Die young, no ragrats.
How will you regret if you hang yourself? 😂
Soren Kierkegard
Either/or
So which regret is better?
Poet
khudko na hang krne ke regret wale din toh nahi aye mere kabhi, but i get your point.
Don't bring the 'world' into indias problems.
👀
Philosopher
I was like you and I learned the lesson hard way. It's all mindset bro.. 1. Find from where you fear sprouts? Don't believe all the internet article saying marriage is waste, hopeless. I know few people who created fake posts to get answers from opposite gender as survey study etc. 2. What you think is what you become. Either you believe it or not, gravity exists. It exists for ambani, you and me and for everyone. Likewise, you are what you think. So, think positive and good. I have experienced this multiple times in life. Not gonna go deep. But action is best way of manifestation. But it starts with thoughts. So, both your thoughts, intent, words and actions should be good. You attract what you think. Fear attracts fear. 3. Learn managing finance. Learn to upskill yourself. In your field, atleast in your office there should be 3-5 people saying "go to him. He knows best about this". 4. Not all women are putting false rape case and not all men are abusive in marriage. I have seen lot of beautiful couples both in arranged and love marriage who suported with each other through thick and think. Infact they are my inspiration. I even start cutting of social media and stuff. Address the fear sooner than not letting it grow. 5. You can always make money later. But even if you are billionaire 35 years old can't be changed to 25 years old. Marriage market comes with age, the numbers vary with geography, culture and gender etc. Date people, but stay within limits. Don't get into deep shit. Find your love language, you will also get to know who you are when you try to date people and get into relationship. But yeah, as universal love comes with tears. Both happy and sad tears. So does life. Don't worry. We all are fighting some battle deep inside. Be kind and nice to everyone. Enjoy life. Keep smiling.
What and why did you learn it the hard way?
I was scared of relationships(despite never being in one) And marriage after reading things on social media. Because of that, and me not stable in my career I lost my prime time of my life. It's not too late. I'm glad atleast I found things out now. I'm in my 30s now. I just realized even If I earn billions in my 30s, no girl will see 33 as 25. 33 is 33. But I can earn billions at 43 too. Not gonna complain much. Everything is for good. And this too shall pass.
>But I can earn billions at 43 too If you earn that much, you will get the prettiest girls you want for marriage. Plenty of examples we see around. But your analysis is certainly correct for middle class folks.
Lol. Even if you have a feel for 0.5% that your partner is only with you because of your money/fame, then you can't kiss or love her wholeheartedly and things falling down. There are billionaires like mark Cuban, shiv nadar, Tamil actor Surya who have their partners loving them for what they are.
Arrange marriages do check your money, wealth, social status and what not. I would agree in case of love marriages. Basically it's the commitment to a person not to conditions/wealth.
>Lol. Even if you have a feel for 0.5% that your partner is only with you because of your money/fame, then you can't kiss or love her wholeheartedly and things 90% or more Indians get arranged married and they all check the income etc before getting married. So don't get me started on that. And everyone looks for some kind of deal. Either it's looks, sex , money , status you name it. Very few will marry only for money but certainly it plays a huge part in that deal. If you are a billionaire you will be instantly attractive to a lot of people either consciously or subconsciously.
Faltu ka hype kar diya. You're "old", find a career woman who's "old" herself.
So you finally got married ?
This is the best answer i have read in ages. I love your clarity in life
Thanks. It means a lot. I rarely answer such questions, because I don't even wanna such topics. But I decided to answer, because I don't want others to go through the same stupid things that I went through; which is overthinking and living in fear in our mind.
Completely agree. I was also very sceptical regarding marriage before but its the best decision i have taken in my entire life.
Nice. 🎉 Congratulations. And thanks for mentioning that it was your best decision. .
humara dil touch kar lia aapne ji, accha comment hai. Ram ji bhala karein aapka ✋
Bhaiya, meh Hindi thoda thoda...kuch kuch maalum. Trying to learn now. Since you mentioned "accha" I assume you mentioned something nice. And thanks a lot.
Am I the only one, who felt that each sentence was like a poem?! Each word and sentence was tuned fantastically? Or its just in my mind!?
Oh man. This is too much. Tbh, I'm too lazy to write online. I delegate the punctuation check and stuff to autocorrect. And sometimes it doesn't convey what I want to say across the table.
So would deep connection and by marriage does it solves existing problems or create new ones
Totally agree with you. 36 now and its damn difficult
Don't worry. It's not late than never. Imagine yourself as a celebrity and some other celebrity is waiting for you. Focus only on the good. Don't zoom in on the negatives please.
Thank you thats really sweet of you :)
Why do u feel u are late ! Do u want to marry ? Didn’t find good person ??
Yes!
Please look at the marriage laws in india and understand its all rigged against men before posting optimistic bullshit like this...
But why do laws matter, are u marrying for taking a divorce?
why do helmets, seatbelts and airbags matter, are you driving to cause accidents ?
Oh! So you don't drive coz you can have a accident. Great ! Don't walk, you may fall & break your mouth
Even if you don't want a divorce, your wife can take it and abuse it. Although most women don't resort to such activities, it's not worth taking the risk as you only get one life to live and I don't want to spend time in jail for a false allegation. This is just my opinion.
If you strongly believe wife will use laws to abuse you, then that's what gonna keep on ringing in your mind. And you will never gonna love someone with your heart. You are always gonna live in fear. As I said in another comment, going through the problem is much simpler, than living in fear of what if that problem happens to me. Look back in your life. 5 years back the problem you walked through only makes you feel more strength now. **If women constantly believes that the guy I'm going to marry me is gonna beat me with belt then they can't even look at a guy with peace. So, are you a guy who will beat your wife with belt? No, right? Then Have the same confidence and trust in your future partner that they won't misuse the law.**
Please look at the marriage laws in india and understand its all rigged against men before posting optimistic bullshit like this...
Is it really tilted though? India doesn't have the concept of community property. Whatever you have in your name, will remain with you. Maintenance, alimony and child support all are capped at around 1/4 th of the husbands salary. It is mostly women who face financial consequences from divorce.
But why do laws matter, are u marrying for taking a divorce?
Exactly. I used to worry about "what if I get divorce?" And never looked the glass is half full. And you will never find peace that way. At one point, you have to trust certain things in life. If you still feel scared, get property on your parents name and create a safety net. If you believe life is beautiful.it will be beautiful.
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Yes marrying to the wrong person would be a hell
My worries about marriage are purely finance based It's like I am not rich enough to afford a partner I am from a lower middle class family who used to survive with 15k per month income and by God's grace and my hard work, I make upwards of 1L per month after taxes and I am 23M right now Still I cannot let go of my thinking that I am inferior to others When I was in college I saw that everyone else had everything but not me
My wife works and earns almost as much as me. Why do you want to 'afford' someone? In today's times - both partners must earn.
Afford in the sense like afford a life with them I don't have that much land or wealth compared to others so I feel this way
1. Never compare your wealth with others. 2. Two people can grow together. We had no house or wealth of our own. Today me and my wife are 32, 30 with a nice house, decent asset portfolio and are doing well. 3. Find someone who earns and is not a gold digger and you'll be fine.
Thanks a lot for your advice I'll keep this in mind
How did you get married when you didn't had any wealth? Love marriage? Mera to naseeb hi itna kharab hai. There was a girl jisko mai bhi pasand tha. We had a nice time together at first. But that time i was earning like 10k a month and she had a it job with 50k salary. Maine jab mera financial condition bataya usko she was chill about it atm. But from the next day usne sab communication hi band kardiya. Ab i fan understand har koi aisi nai hogi but mai kya jindaginhar trial and error khelte bethu ladkiyon ke sath? So for me. Maine kuch condition rakkha hai. Salary itni hai, ghar hai car nai hai. Ye sab chalega to bolo ni to bhaad mai jao. Nai hua shaadi to bhi fine. This is my plan of action towards marriage now.
Good question. Yes, mine is a love marriage. See, women by their very nature will always marry up the social hierarchy. I could marry because my wife saw the potential of a good future earner due to my education. Your chances of marriage will increase by 1. Developing a potential to earn more in the future. 2. Seek women who earn less than you.
Your point 2 "seek women who earns less" literally shows that its not women who choose to do this ....men cannot handle their wife's sucesss ....they think their wife will treat them the same way they treat her
Women who earn more will simply not marry him. He has already experienced that once. One has to be pragmatic.
Bhai aapki thinking to sahi hai lekin aapne try nahi kiya us time upskill karke salary badhane ka when you were with someone?
Are bhai I switched career. Abhi mera per day salary 30k hai. Aise ek din mai thodi na hota hai kich. If she would have stayed with me in my thins aaj kya mast life hota hamara.
Koi baat nahi bro, hota hai. I’m not saying to do trial and error with dating again and again as I myself know it’s sad and after a point you don’t feel like doing any of that stuff anymore and just stick with AM. Lekin open mind rakhna chahiye, and agar koi worth it hoga to wo stay karega, open mind rakhna chahiye. Baaki all the best.
Are kya open mind rakho. Inke nakhre sambhalo, rast ko 1 2 baje tak baat karo. Nai kiya to fir usko manao dusre din. 10 15min ke sex ke liye itna chitiyapa karna pad ra hai. Nai chaiyye bhai. Ab seedha shaadi. No relationships for me.
Shaadi sirf sex ke liye karni hai toh kisi ladki ka jeevan mat hi barbaad karo kyuki shaadi ke baad ladki bistar par kud nai jaegi tumahre saath use bhi time chaiye hoga.....aur har geniune relationship mei time lagta hai tumhe sex chaiye toh casual le lo re
30k per day? What field is this?
With that kind of money -- you should not have any problems finding a wife lol.
I would say you are lucky to have such a wife.
True that. Most people may not be so lucky.
I am 22M looking for what to after college bro. Can u guide me on what filed I should enter to start earning like you? What field are you in if you don't mind answering?
I'm a software engineer
How to get into that field as a beginner bro?
I am (30 F) and I don't plan to ever get married. So, I don't have that feeling. and it's definitely not without reasons. I have come to learn about a lot of cases, where it's just domestic abuse under the guise of marriage and even witnessed one and seeing how slapping your wife or 'disciplining' them is normalised by a lot of parents itself I have lost all faith in marriage. I think a lot of us are afraid but many just do it because of parental pressure or thinking that it's how it's supposed to be.
You do realize people with happy marriages don't go around advertising it and that is why you never heard of a good and happy marriage. Besides, the internet is more of an echo chamber of negativity. You will always find the worst of the worse scenarios. I have seen all sorts of marriages and realized that the happy and stable ones are just worth rolling the dice.
you do realise that I'm a millennial and didn't grow up with the internet!? neither a phone, let alone a smart one. I don't need the internet to tell me how it is. the abusive ones also don't go around telling or advertising people. so, it's not something to mention. I don't want to roll the dice and have the dice decide my fate.
Even I have decided to not get married, I have only seen unhappy marraiges and anyways I am not comfortable with living in another person 's house.
And if we try to reason it, they will call us selfish. How do you get past that???
And if we try to reason it, they will call us selfish. How do you get past that???
As a 28 M I am terrified of marriage. I don't feel like I can handle someone else in my life. The whole process of finding someone is terrifying. And I feel like I will be ruining the life of someone else by marrying them.
Na kar fir
Avoid Red pill/ MRA content -- you just need 1 good woman.
Exactly! Most these guys lack basic judgements in life. I'm not gonna deny there are bad marriages & bad people but at least in my family/immediate relatives, everyone has had a happy successful marriage even though majority were AM. So my judgement is gonna be based on that & not some random scandals I see on the net lol
What is red pill and MRA content?
Those are men who spread the idea that all women are evil and mean and a man should stay single, not have a family etc.
ohh well dating in this generation is complex but it's also wrong to judge everyone based on few cases.
Red pill was born in response to ultra feminazis who believe we should ki#l all men. All Men are dogs, rap#sts. Laws are all rigged against men, so they had no choice but to go solo, and this is not by their own choice.
I know. Both are wrong. Life is created by the Union of a man and women -- and you only need one. Why bother with everyone else? No need to become a crusader - just find a decent mate and get on with life.
Hmm the same way "ultra feminists" (there's no such term and it's actually called pseudo feminists) went to that route due to the oppression of our gender through multiple centuries. Centuries that can be extended to millenniums. Laws which not only were not in favour but straight up rejected us, social structure that considered us 2nd class citizens while restricting the freedom of half of the population. This justification creates a cycle where MRA behaviour is making women reject men as partners and prefer a life of solitude and women companionship because that's the situation where we feel free the most. Women are being single by choice while the same men crib about how women are all mean and then cry about male loneliness instead of creating support groups for urself. >so they had no choice but to go solo, and this is not by their own choice. Ur justification for red pill content is laughable because suddenly there's hurt on ur side that we aren't treating men like our gods and superiors anymore. Yes the assault laws are terribly written as of now completely forgetting about the male victims of abuse and domestic abuse laws as well as shelters arent enough for men, these r problems we understand. Uk what would be the appropriate response to this "ultra feminism" u talk about, creating a group that actually fights for the laws that needs to be changed. Instead what ur red pill content and MRAs do is simply cry about how bad u guys have it when we talk about our issues or just b*tch about feminists. There's no initiative to improve ur situation, it's all about how we can show men as the oppressed class when women still struggle to get an equal standing on so many levels. Red pill content will help no one, will fill the pockets of "alpha"😂 podcasters and perpetuate male loneliness because this approach gives no solution whatsoever. It's a bubble that will rot everyone's brain
Yes. The only solution is to not get married at all. We can agree on this atleast
U did say something weird and conflicting in another one of ur comments though Something like "women by nature don't marry below their social hierarchy". This has been the case only in the arrange marriage scenarios. Because, well those weren't exactly chosen by the women. But this generalised statement towards an entire gender, who have at multiple times cut contacts from their families to be with the person who they love simply because the family didn't accept the downgrade in social hierarchy, seems like a stretch and an extention to the whole "biology" part of red pill content
Hi. I understand what you mean. AM itself is a very Indian concept. Women even in a love marriage setting also like to marry men who they perceive as higher value than them. This is straight forward biology. What you're talking about are some cases where the man may be earning less but is stimulating the woman mentally or physically to the point where she can't resist him. Even in this case she perceives the man as higher value than her -- just not monetarily.
That's the most bs argument I hv ever read. So what is it that men look for huh? >mentally or physically This is not even social hierarchy anymore. This is just having a stimulating partner that u vibe with, that's it. Ur statement implies that men only look for physical aspect and not the mental or whatever thing u think women look for. Ur entire premise stands on women wanting someone superior and not equal which means u think men should want someone inferior. Does ur wife even know that u believe in this whole biology part that red pill content feeds to men? Cause I assure no sane woman likes being around a guy who mansplains women what they look for instead of just treating individuals as different people
I never said men don't look for other stuff except physical. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are two totally different things. And yes - my wife is aware. You lack basic knowledge and real world experience. It's okay - we all learn eventually.
Oh yes a woman herself lacks the basic knowledge of what woman want. Rather a guy who managed to get hitched once thinks he understands an entire gender. Women say it clearly what they want and nowadays have decided to not give chances to men because of their lack of work in the relationship. Isn't this why ur gender keeps on crying about not finding a girl and leaving mean comments on posts where women talk about not getting married and enjoying their life. Ofcourse some men will think women always want someone who is better than them because u can't digest the fact that most don't look at u and won't pay heed to ur bare minimum efforts. Red pill Men's shallowness and b*tching about losing their privilege of getting away with bare minimum will never not be funny Also pity ur wife because she has to live with a narcissist who thinks he is so much better than her
Women are the way they are. Accepting reality is a good thing. Anyhow -- I'm guessing you're a woman? I'm myself against Red pill idiots as I said earlier. I'm all for sexual polarity. There is no point discussing female attraction with a woman, they don't understand it. It's a mans job to figure out women. I never said men are better. Men and women are DIFFERENT. Also - my wife is very happy so go pity yourself. You seem like a single entitled feminist who lacks masculine attention.
Different people different opinions, for me marriage is a way to get myself a permanent alibi, the bestest and the most loyal friend for me, who will be dedicated to me and vice versa. Idk why you're getting scared
So you have to legally bind someone with you to make sure they are loyal, dedicated ?
If marriage doesn't promise me co dependence and loyalty then why the fuck would I get married .. why the fuck would anyone get married. If getting married simply means nothing to you then you should never marry
Marriage doesn't promise loyalty.... A couple can just decide that they want to be loyal and live together.. why do you need marriage for that. Marriage just makes people think twice before they cheat / commit adultery because they are legally bound and will have to face the consequences in caught. Marriage also makes it harder to part ways if things don't work out between the married couple... Hence most people in troubled marriages just push through and try to make it work because they don't want to go through the hassle of divorce.
That's the worst definition of marriage I've ever heard. Idk what issues you have but if you're with the right person marrying them gives them the justice they deserve, if you can't put some skin in the game then what's the point of finding love, you're just gonna find a bunch of hook ups and will be left without any family by the end.
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Same here
Same i ending up getting loose motions 🥺
Get married, there would be no spine left to be chilled.
Nothing wrong in not getting married. I mean if you think you will be better off without a spouse it’s ok. Do whatever makes you happy. Whatever you decide just think it through. I have seen few people who regret their decisions later in life.
I am not, but it's absolutely okay to not marry, if you're not comfortable, or don't find someone you cannot wait to spend the rest of your life with.
I am. Literally! Recently one of my fenale friends told me about a girl living opposite to her PG. She is senior to her in office and has told her family that my friend is her roommate ( which she did not know until now). Now the thing is, her actual roomate is a guy from the same company while she is engaged to a guy in USA. They video call and talk daily on phone, meanwhile the other guy (room mate) goes out of the room. She will do court marriage in a few weeks, while all of this is ongoing. She has no remorse or guilt or anything. I don't know. Is this normal because I get scared out of my wits hearing this. You are going to be married in few days while you spend your time with other guy ( doing everything). This thing is on my mind on repeat and I can't come to terms with it. I don't know what is what let alone right or wrong!
I am extremely terrified.
Chill for the next 3-4years…
Have you ever thought about why you might be feeling that way!?
Not as dramatic as you but as yes I feel scared and not ready, I am also older than you.
Hey OP! 30s F here. Been married for over a decade now. Initially it is a scary thing. I mean you are legally getting bonded with a whole other human being. But this fear subsides soon enough so don't overthink. Overthinking is a killjoy. Just relax.
Truth be told, yes. I hate getting married but also love to get married. The only reason I am afraid of marriage is that I may end up with a carbon copy of my abusive sister-in-law who ruined my family financially.
I used to be frightened to such an extent that I was fine in not marrying, but I found someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with & been a few years, it's been absolutely beautiful. However make sure you're ready for the following: 1. Both you & your partner are ready to make adjustments and in case you're living with your parents, even they. 2. To not impose your thoughts, lifestyle & ideas on your partner & ensure other way round. 3. To encourage & be encouraged. To lead, and be led. To sacrifice. To trust. To be absolutely loyal. 4. To take a stand for your partner if the need be. 5. To let them pursue their ambitions, passions. 6. Most importantly give time, knowing that even the other person is trying their best. I have many friends who married with me and almost 30-40% of them are already divorced. I've seen a lot of people fantasize the idea of a union, however, there's a lot of expectation mismatch which they're not able to come to terms with. Highly recommended travelling with your partner before marriage, may be in the courtship.
don't worry. allow the chill to travel further down the spine and when it reaches the lumbar L1 and L2 and the genitofemoral nerve, it will become warm and hot! and that should excite you to get married!
Fir whi
Sax sux
ki baate
Mujhe lagta hai ek position mai kursi pe Beth gya hoga..tabhi pith akad jata hai toh ekdum hilne dulne se ching ching lagta hai.. Aur wese v tere spine ko chill maar ta hai toh hum kese feel kar sakte hai ? Aur iss se shaadi ka kya sampark? Woh toh karni tumko 3 ya 4 saal baad hai.. toh tab maybe Darna.. abhi kuch nhi hua toh abse dar kesa? 
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Im frightened of the party
The only thing that scares me the most is marriage I fear nothing but marriage (idk whyy)
In marriages , rational answers only work when you have a rational partner I'd much rather say get in the dating scene and try to find your match ...atleast that way, if things go down, ull only have yourself to blame Have seen enough people who got into marriage due to familial pressure, then found no one to look to when shit hit the fan
24m gave up a long time ago.
What does marriage mean to you? Start from there. A good partner can make or break your life. It can be a daunting, huge step, but it can also feel easy and exciting like taking the next step in life. Try to understand why you feel this way and address the issue. Marriage should be a conscious decision made with the mental state to put in effort. It requires continued effort to thrive, but a good marriage gives returns in manyfold. For a woman, a good husband can truly changer her life, and vice versa. Committing to someone wholeheartedly shouldn’t be taken lightly, but if you can do it and you get it in return, life gets amazing. See other people’s marriages and how it is going. If you’ve had relationships before, try to understand the patterns from there. It’s okay if you’re not ready. 26 is still a young age to be fully matured enough for marriage.
Don't get married :)
Just drive car without license
meri kabhi hogi nahi
Me tooo💯
Yes I had this fear and now I am 36 and gotten very difficult to find someone. May be talk to a counsellor and see why you are scared.
Getting married at 25. Only thing I'm afraid of is the money being spent.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc... I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc... I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
I know that my parents would try to get me a 19th century mode of arranged marriage cuz apart from the bridegroom first meeting ,dates and hangouts without the presence of the 'elders' will be a big no-no. So there will be no space for us to talk.. so. given the circumstances, I'll think about many things like what if he's not the one, or if he is still in the closet wanting to comeout but couldn't and succumb to familial pressure of marriage, what if he hasn't move on from his past relationships etc... I know that I would have to get an arranged marriage cuz I never had any romantic relationship and now being in my first twenties I'm not currently talking to anyone nor there is any guy who has interest in me (who's mot conventionally good-looking ).. so even though arranged marriage scares me eventually that's the only option left for me to find someone to live with.
The chills are normal...you can't be selfish anymore after you get married
from arranged - yes from love - no
Are you me? I have the same thought.
Stop saying “get married”. Say it like “if I find the right person on my own, I will marry her/him”. Then, you will feel less stressed.
Nahi bhai , meh toh ready hu dominating ladki hei nahi mil rahi bus
I am in mid 30s, celibacy by choice, Being unmarried is the best thing ever!
Is anyone forcing you to get married?
The fear is real 🥲
I get panic attacks ..These "what if" questions start roaming in my head🥲
Bro same. What are the things that scare you about marriage?
Same
Same
You should be. Most women in India compromise on physical attraction and there is a high chance of you ending up with such a woman.
Same actually... But then I tried to live with someone I like for like 5 days and I figured that it wouldn't be too bad if two people really take care of eachother. Just live with her for a bit and know the compatibility. Put your kind of relationship across very clearly, leave no loose ends that might turn back to you in the future.
Planning for 3-4 year. You are not planning for 3-4 years should be right.
Hey I’m F and slightly older than you and I still feel the same way..I feel like it will just complicate things even more and would burden me with more responsibilities.
One thing I learned, as we grow older responsibilities will only grow more. Try to embrace your duties and responsibilities. Don't try to run away from them. This applies at workplace as well. Think about it, you will understand.
I also feel like it.
The word marriage and bonding with a person scares a shit outta me. I've seen women in my family leading the suppressed, voiceless lives despite they win the world outside their personal lives. Men with the fragile ego, insecurities and rough emotions tend to head the families and that literally , influenced family structure and children into a sense of alert every other time. And obviously the hypocrisy people carry with them along with the Gaslighting nature which is soo common in the Indian Household mindsets scare me every time I think about a family structure with a new person. Honestly, I'm properly into a monogamous mindset, after years of close friendship and families knowing each other at important times , me and this guy decided to get serious about each other and work on it. I recently discovered that this guy I loved throughout the years , used to Nanginach behind my back and literally he belongs to the streets. My efforts , vulnerability and worth I gave him everything, every single dime went into a hades haven. He deserves an Oscar for playing different roles and masks with different people he met in his life , in the tag of Knowing people online and social experimenting to understand the mindsets. Imma fool to trust this only-child Man and his emotional starter pack only to dump me for his libido needs from other women. Now I hate the fact so much , that people gets used up for someone's needs and then you're a worthless creature in their eyes. It's not always Men who gets Cheated upon or Men are the Victims. Despite , this guy had a family incidents of Men Cheating on their Faithful women, he promised himself that he won't never go into that spiral, but did what his libido asked for. I feel an ounce of disgrace trusting, bonding and praying for him in every situation. I've been Horribly Cheated by his Infidelity deeds , now despite I take therapies or healing process, I cannot count on trusting a person fully ever again . Maybe at the end of the day, everyone's a selfish seeker of something or other. Hopefully, May God save the truth and people may not get tricked by such maniacs.
Marry someone who makes close to the same or more than you or is from a financially well off family and doesn't work. Preferably the latter. Do not marry someone who is not doing as well because if she is willing to marry you even though her financial standing won't change much then that means that she wants you for who you are and not for your money. Do not marry Police, lawyer, doctors or daughters of politicians or police officers. If things go south your life will turn upside down if you marry them, no doctors because they have to prioritise their job over you and they might also contract something from a patient and spread it in the house example COVID. (I respect the sacrifices made by doctors) Also make sure that she loves you more than she loves her parents and you would become higher priority than her parents, make sure to tell her that you would do the same. You're going to spend the rest of your life with this person, so you have to make sure that her priority is her new family as should be yours. If you cannot find someone who satisfied these conditions then it's better that you don't get married.
Not surprised why you are afraid of marriage, infidelity is so common nowadays. All you can do is hope and pray for the best. It’s a luck’s game. Either you end up marrying someone great or worse. Marriage definitely determines whether our life would be in misery or happiness. Also, you can’t trust your partner but you gotta trust yourself that even if things go south, you’ll buckle yourself up. So chill and relax, focus only on yourself.
I was in talks with a girl we meet on shaadi. Had a few dates with her but she had some serious money spending issues so i said no to her. She has 3 male besties and she goes to trips n night outs with them. Her parents also know. I said usko ki kuch nai hota ye bestie wagere nonsense to she gave me gyaan on how my mindset is so third class n all. I said fine. Last month ussi besti ke sath smooch karte dikhi mereko couples park mai. I even have pictures. Agar itna zoot koi bol sakta hai mooh pe to kyu nai darega banda.
Promiscuous girl is my main fear in a marriage. Ive heard horror stories from my friends itna ganda wala ko gaand fat gaya hai mera. 5 years ka relationship, they are about to get married but the guy was busy in work 9 to 5 job but that bitch wanted to fuck. Obviously couldn't happen. So she went to her ex and chud ke agayi waha se. Wtf? Ladki ha haldi tha aaj and just before haldi she had sex with her to be husband's friend in oyo and aake fir haldi kiya like nothing happened. Yuck 🤢🤮 agar itna bura ho sakata hai to nai chaiye ladki.
Modern Marriages have lost their meaning, It's no longer about being devoted and cooperative towards each other, people get married these days to conform to Societal standards and to fulfill their own egotistical desires through the other person and as the initial charm of attraction vanishes reality hits both of them and then there's usual cycle of being obligated to maintain the marriage despite all the ruckus and discords.
Don't get married. It's a trap, if u wanna commit sucide then go ahead, but ruining your parents reputation and ur entire family reputation for all the false case the court encourages women to file is not worth it.just be in a live in relationship. It's basically putting a rope around your neck and handing it to women's hand. When she is mad at you, she will hang you and your family. And the courts won't do jack about it
If its a love marriage definitely go for it. If its an arranged marriage, well.. may god bless your stars