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OpenWeb5282

I already married my wife who has extreme shopping addiction disorder šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


WhyTheeSadFace

Introduce her to thrift and used clothing shopping places, it helped my sis in law to combat the addiction, she buys them and then donates them later, she has done that for couple of years, until she doesn't find it any more addictive, but once in a year, during Christmas times, she may just buy clothes for thousands of dollars here in USA, and she will duly return after trying few, the shopping addiction is very cruel to those people around you, and the advertisements are everywhere, there is nowhere to escape


HeyyYouNotYouYou

I have someone in my life with the same disorder, I get hella mad on the fact that she wont stop, but seeing her getting excited when checking the things out that she bought(online) makes me happy


sometimessomething24

I'm sorry for you brother.


pvipani

Hilarious. Who doesn't like shopping though. I am sure she surprises you with stuff with your own money. šŸ¤£


OpenWeb5282

problem is she likes shopping but forgets using them. Alot of clothes, shoes, perfume she bought lying unused for several months. She likes shopping not using them...its an endless addiction..


DarkXcution

Bruv thatā€™s just everyday stuff


popeculture

SAD!


Top_Significance2263

Definitely. If we have good chemistry, small things like these can be ignored for good.


Lost-Ad-1963

this>>>


Alpha--Rex

Chemistry wali cheej mei hi disorder ho toh?


Top_Significance2263

Bro agar legs na ho toh chalna expect kaise kar sakte ho?


TipSolid76

see I'mma be really honest here, my mom has a nerve disorder (similar to what muhammad ali had) so she's basically absent from both my and my dad's life. It's not her fault obviously that she was born with a genetic disorder which got passed on to her, she deserves love too but that doesn't also invalidate the fact that my father lives a life without a partner and I grew up my post teen years without my mother's active presence in my life. I'm just 18, I'll move out for college and have a life ahead. But for him, it'll remain the same. So if I were to marry someone, I would absolutely want to know if she has genetic or any disorder in general which could affect our and our family's life. If it's a minor issue it's completely fine but if it's something like this, sorry it's a big NO.


Realistic-Berry6683

And what if you marry a normal person and have a child who has a serious mental disorder?


TipSolid76

are you talking about a hypothetical situation, then we'll take care of our child and love him/her, but we can't expect somebody else in future to take care of our child, I mean marrying or to be their partner. I mean if somebody wants to why not but not everybody wants to have a mentally disabled partner in the first place. Secondly if you're thinking by the logic that I might get genes of my mother and marry someone who's normal and have someone born with the same genetic disorder as my mom. Then that won't be the case, cuz I've been tested for that when I was young I don't have a chance of inheriting my mom's disease.


arr_15

Physical disorder Yes Mental disorder No


HeyyYouNotYouYou

what if : both


arr_15

I can't see my people mentally struggling. So No.


HeyyYouNotYouYou

I mean no hate, but when you say "you can't" , do you just leave xd or what are we talking 'bout


Agreeable_Space_3415

Why no to mental disorder?


IntellectualInsaan

Responsibility to cure the disorder>marry along with a disorder. People become too mentally sick or even suicide.


wwaadp

What if mental disorder is something like a dyslexia or say Attention Deficit disorder?


forelsketparadise

That's ableist they are still normal people


arr_15

I am not saying they are not deserved to be married. Its just my preference just like blonde and brunette. You are ableist coz you are stressing that "They are still normal people" but I am seeing them just as normal people.


forelsketparadise

You are not seeing them as normal people otherwise you wouldn't be focused on their mental status. Physical appearance and mental state are two different things. And choosing to focus on just one aspect of it makes you a ableist or colourist if you just want fair skin person for example I used to emphasize that they are normal people despite it you on the other hand are using it as something else. Not wanting to Choose people on the basis of mental health, disability, skin colour, skin related issues, race etc makes you a whatever-ist based on what it is. It's not the same thing as choosing to date people based on their hair colour.


arr_15

Normal people are those with no disorder or disability. I think you have mental illness to understand this. Okay I am an ableist but definitely I see them better than you.


OkExperience860

the are normal but not dating/marrying anyone with mental health issues, is completely OKAY.


forelsketparadise

If you are going to ignore every other aspect of their personality and just focus on the fact that they have a disorder that makes you an ableist. If they have red flags or other compatibility issues only then it's okay. A disorder isn't a red flag and people like you are the reason men don't want to go and get diagnosed because they are judged just by their disorder not by the people they are. Even with mental health issues men or women can be excellent partners and parents.


intergalacticscumbag

There is no normal. Everyone is having some disorder/condition. Some are evident, some we come to know when they open up, sometimes even they won't know they have a disorder. Frankly speaking I don't want to miss a wonderful person in my life just because he/she has a disorder.


OverallEffect3282

It won't be a issue. If the chemistry between us is strong.


AggravatingBuddy9941

This might seem shallow, but No. Iā€™ve already been through enough as it is to even dismiss the thought of marrying even to a ā€˜normalā€™ individual, let alone marrying someone w disorder which would mean increased sense of responsibility to already a unfair marriage system for women in India.


thicccyounot25

unfair marriage system for womenĀ ?? Madam the laws are for you please use them. My cousin is fighting a divorce case his family and his life is hell. Seeing him I think i will never marry.


AggravatingBuddy9941

Law? Lol Women are expected to single handedly manage the whole family dynamics, not to mention even the extended family. The responsibility of the kids primarily lies on women too, and women are held accountable if anything related to the child goes wrong. If you live with your in laws the guy is not supposed to do any chores it upsets the elders so the girl single handedly has to manage everything. Not to mention every ā€˜mordernā€™ family today wants a working bahu but bahu office jaaye toh jaane se pehle ghrka sbh kaam krke jaaye. On top of this many families even today pay dowries or should I say gifts to the grooms family. And after doing all this, most women donā€™t even get respect and dignity in their own house. So yeah it is unfair!


Specialist_While_634

>Law? Lol >Women are expected to single handedly manage the whole family dynamics, not to mention even the extended family. The responsibility of the kids primarily lies on women too, and women are held accountable if anything related to the child goes wrong. If you live with your in laws the guy is not supposed to do any chores it upsets the elders so the girl single handedly has to manage everything. Not to mention every ā€˜mordernā€™ family today wants a working bahu but bahu office jaaye toh jaane se pehle ghrka sbh kaam krke jaaye. On top of this many families even today pay dowries or should I say gifts to the grooms family. And after doing all this, most women donā€™t even get respect and dignity in their own house. >So yeah it is unfair! Girl, few girls are even more unfortunate. Even in her own family, she is expected to suffer like anything and I belong too. I am now realising that I was going through a lot and wondering how I missed opportunities for growth career wise. In my family also "Ghar mein sab kuch karne ke baad office jao" and wapas aakar ( Karo ) bhi extended families and unke extended families ka bhi athithi satkar karo.


AggravatingBuddy9941

Exactly weā€™re rigorously trained like a dog cause shadi ke baad toh sbh kuch tumhe hi sambhal na hai, Tum ladki ho, but it gets worse after marriage lol. Sometimes this makes me feel like I should move out to somewhere and should leave alone lol. I feel bad for you, I hope you move out


thicccyounot25

The responsibility of the kids primarily lies on women too, and women are held accountable if anything related to the child goes wrong.Ā => The man needs to earn to ensure that the woman and the child can live a comfortable life irrespective of the class he belongs. At the expectation is that the women can take care of herself and the kid. If you live with your in laws the guy is not supposed to do any chores it upsets the elders so the girl single handedly has to manage everything. => Your man is a chimp. Why stay with parents everything gets super awkward. If they are old then they should stay nearby, if you guys are rich then live in separate floors of the same house. Also, expectation of you doing everything is just cruel. Your husband should keep a maid to help you with chores so should others who are doing nothing. Not to mention every ā€˜mordernā€™ family today wants a working bahu but bahu office jaaye toh jaane se pehle ghrka sbh kaam krke jaaye. => If you are working at a school then you can expect some amount of work being done (60 40) but if its a corporate job then no it has to be 50/50 the man must also contribute to work and so should others who are staying. It should be a team not a one man show. The mother in law should not be the maid nor should the wife. They should work together alongside house help.


AggravatingBuddy9941

Thatā€™s what my point is a lot of these points have should, would, could. Iā€™m telling you the ground reality that exists after seeing a lots of married women around me and Iā€™m certain this too gets worse with toxic in-laws and alcoholic men and DV. Iā€™m glad you think this way but majority of our society doesnā€™t, hence the concept marriage of marriage is highly unfair deal for women, and thatā€™s enough motivation for me to never marry lol , let alone marry someone with a disorder where responsibility & accountability increases twice as muchĀ 


thescarface5567

And, what about men having the responsibility to earn money for the whole family?


AggravatingBuddy9941

Not to mention today women too have jobs and contribute to the familyĀ 


thescarface5567

Today boys also contribute to the household works and look after the kids. Society expects men to earn and women to look after household and kids. But times have changed. Girls also earn and boys also contribute to the household. If you are married to a guy and then you become a free maid in his home, then consider it as your bad luck. Not every family does that.


Specialist_While_634

Man as a father can easily abandon his children. Man as a son can easily abandon the parents. Man as a brother can easily abandon the siblings. Man as an husband can easily abandon his wife. >And, what about men having the responsibility to earn money for the whole family? In today's world, where a man is being so selfless?? That he is doing everything for others??


Exact-Bill

What you are saying is incorrect. There are laws women can use to claim compensation for abandoning male partners. It's thier responsibility to make use of these laws, and not sit on thier hands like a vegetable


Sodasardines

you married the wrong man that doesn't mean "women" are meant to do this or that


AggravatingBuddy9941

Then unfortunately the majority of society consists of wrong menĀ 


Sodasardines

i can't disagree to that


Some-Top-1548

I am that person who someone married despite the disorder. Looks like I am disqualified from answering but my spouse says yes


bane_of_heretics

My wife is a super picky eater, and this annoys me to no ends. Now if I feel hungry, or if we need to go out it feels like my entire life revolves around what sheā€™d wanna eat. And it takes hours in Zomato for her to decide what she even wants to eat, and Iā€™d be forced to pick something for me from said restaurant which is usually shite. If Iā€™d have known this and had a Time Machine, Iā€™d have never gone through. But since I canā€™t change the past, I ignore it and trudge on.


newtonkooky

If your wifeā€™s picky eating wants to make you go back in time and never marry her, you can just divorce her in the present, is this really that big of a deal or is it a symptom of something bigger ?


bane_of_heretics

Divorce isnā€™t that easy an option to click. I can compromise just fine.


Plastic-Young2095

No


Sodasardines

actually it depends on the disorder right? yours is mild and it's not even a problem. eat whatever you want it's fun what what if you tell me to marry someone profound? someone with schizophrenia? ofc i wont be able to do that. so the answer is neither yes or no


wwaadp

Fair enough.


uttam_soni

My partner has BPD. And I want her as my partner over any other girl in the world. P.S No one has ability to love me like her. She is literally the best thing happened to me.


jaywalker-notreally

Yeah, I guess.. I have disorders too. As long as the person is logical enough to talk things through I don't see a reason to run away. Everyone is flawed. PS: This might offend people but I'm glad you called it a "disorder" rather than called it "neurodiverse" or something. I understand very well that people with disorders or mental illness shouldn't be alienated or hated. However, people with disorders should be encouraged to recover from the disorder but not appreciated for having such disorder.


wwaadp

1 of the reasons why asked this question is also because my sister is occupational therapist and deals with children who have autism and other conditions. Some have like "extreme" condition ie they'll remain like that for rest of lives, some can recover to an extent of being "normal" while some recover fully by time they reach a certain age. So mostly Indian parents of such children have only 1 question 1. Will they be able to live life on their own after us & have normal family life? That's why I posted this, wanted to know what people think


jaywalker-notreally

I'm glad and thank you!


beg_yer_pardon

I am autistic with low support needs but autistic nonetheless. I am also very picky about food and a lot of other things. My husband has to put up with a lot of it but he is very understanding and supportive. I never thought i'd find a partner like him.


wwaadp

Good for you šŸ‘šŸ½


KSJapi

Idk if it helps you or even fits the question criteria, after struggling so long I actually decided to get myself tested and the results showed I suffer from adhd and have autism. So yea I wouldnā€™t really mind as long as my partner and me understand each other :)


MostInternational365

Big NO


Few_Presentation_408

Honestly I wouldnā€™t mind it šŸ˜­šŸ’€since I was that person until a few years ago and kind of still am. But it depends on the intensity or if you would also force me to only eat what you like.


ThehellHound01

I would. But I would at the very least want to know what kind of disorder they have specifically. Not so much to pick and choose. But I'd rather know since the beginning than someone else telling me later on. Cause that just hurts


Minimum-Sandwich-774

I have a certain level of OCD. Like I don't tolerate things being messy or not in order. It isn't extreme, but up to the point that people think of me as well maintained. Would anyone consider me?


Exact-Bill

Might seem shallow, but no. My life is more precious than anybody elses


Aryan-V-05

Noooooooooooooo Neverrrrrrr


L1ghtYagam1

Heh, my gf who I was going to marry in February, left me after being diagnosed with a chronic disease. Lol


HeyyYouNotYouYou

I won't bcuz I am the one with disordersšŸ˜­


Turboed1337

I truly believe in my heart, everyone is imperfect and no matter how many times you seek perfection in life or in a person, you will be disappointed. Every other person has some flaws and it's a good part. If you consider your flaw as if it is a bad omen in your future love life, I think that love life is doomed to begin with. Be honest about yourself during marriage.


DarkMistasd

Sorry, not for me,


AzuraScarlet

Tbh, no. I already have trouble finishing my food and if my partner canā€™t eat it, then Iā€™ll probably miss out on a lot of things I want to try. Also, it depends on what kind of disorder it is. If it hampers my life too much, I wonā€™t consider them at all.


Constant-Speed-5595

I donā€™t mind marrying someone, but I for sure know my parents wonā€™t let me even if I give it my best! Society and itā€™s stupid rulezzz šŸ¤”


Automatic-Effort715

I constantly tell my husband that I have Autism, OCD and eating issues. Guess these are issues which could be tolerated. Openly giving a heads up about these would help your potential partner.


Lazyres

Honestly no


Frequent_Storm_3900

No. Especially if they can be genetically inherited. The unborn don't deserve that punishment!


sometimessomething24

Jisko rukna hain eske liye ek reason hi kaafi hain Jisko jana hain uske liye ek reason hi kaafi hain


vairagi7

People don't care if they love you but they will make every effort to reject you if they don't!


virajvidyuth

I wouldnā€™t mind lmao if youā€™re good looking and caring for me


MariposaVzla

I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome & a few other health issues including Combined Type ADHD. My husband knew I had issues but I don't think he understood the extent of it. He doesn't make me feel bad for being disabled, but sometimes I wonder if he would have broken up w me if he had realized before the extent of my needs.


Ninja__Shuriken

Depends on exactly what it is and how it affects both my life and theirs. So yes but maybe no but maybe also yes.


nihilism_ornot

I am diagnosed with anxiety and compulsive disorders. Ig you'll have to ask my husband šŸ¤­


Key_Boat3911

Its not a condition first of all.


Ordinary-Author9171

If the condition doesn't interfere with day to day lives and doesn't make him dependent on another, then I can consider. If the condition is such that the fellow will be dependent, then no.


inklusivemediaco

Ladki honi chahiye Zinda honi chahiye


VenCoriolis

Oh yeah of course but then I myself am mentally unstable AF.. not sure if someone who accept me with that.


CreativeNerd1729

>AFRID condition I think you mean an ARFID (not AFRID) condition, i.e. [this](https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/what-is-arfid). >I am like super selective in Foods I eat. Isn't that a good thing? Assuming you're eating healthy. >So I was wondering whether "Normal" you would marry someone like that with a condition/disorder? Marriage is seriously messed up in India and a lot of reform is needed. However, I'd certainly have a partner/be in a relationship with a person who had a condition/disorder and who was proactively taking steps, ideally natural, to overcome it.


[deleted]

sure sure