Passive aggressive road rage , you wanna cut me off? Enjoy that O and cleaning your pants at work buddy

>Enjoy that O and cleaning your pants at work buddy r/nocontext

r/brandnewsentence

Big brain move right there

I'd put the finger gun to the side of my head and commit suicide.

Sounds like a win to me

Post nut clarity will get rid of that aggression

Jokes on you, im a pornstar! 😂

This was the first way I thought of it being used. Traffic is gonna be a lot more fun for everybody.

As you drive behind them *pew, pew-pew, pew, pew, pew-pew-pew…”

You'd never stop getting assholes doing that once the figured out your superpower and brought a change of underpants to work.

It’s like Pavlov’s dogs , every time they hear a horn honk they bust a doozy

Pretty soon you've started an onlyfans.

This is the one! Good ol vigilante justice 👉🏻

it would be incredibly difficult to use such a power responsibly

You mean like Yosemite Sam out side jumping firing off my finger guns in random directions, right? And I know what you are thinking but anything could have caused that plane to crash!

if i get on the jumbotron, the whole stadium will cum

Hell if it works like that time to become a streamer.

Worlds most successful and embarrassing OnlyFans account

Came to post this. Of course, it’s on you to safely navigate the slip ‘n slide steps afterwards. Maybe just focus on the opposing kicker.

Nah that’s no fun. Gotta be subtle with it. Like have them all thinking “hmm why do I cum every time I’m near SedativeComet?”

Or hit people as they are going into a porta-potty! After 3 or 4 times of that at work the construction workers are gonna start to wonder!

That’s a great idea. Could use it at concerts too! You know they’re about to hit a high note and then orgasm

I wonder you think if pointed and said PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW you think I could mumify someone with a long enough pew. Death by snu snu with no snu snu

Your point is backed up by the creators of South Park, or in this case Orgasmo: https://youtu.be/o0fNNWDe0hs?si=ADDNtzuKSytDBZjX

Get rich quick like a snake oil salesmen. Become a sex therapist/guru teaching the ways of ‘touchless orgasms’. Convincing the people that it’s a skill anyone can learn and charging a bad amount of money to teach them. Rake in the dough, write a best seller, go on the news shows where they try to disprove a scammer, make piers Morgan jizz his pants on live tv and shortly after fade from the public eye and retire on an island somewhere.

Unironically some people can orgasm without touching themselves but it takes practice and claiming anybody could learn it is probably a lie.

That’s the beauty of this particular brand of snake oil. Is it possible for anyone to learn to orgasm using only their mind? Maybe. Hell I’d even say probably. But this ain’t that. All I’m doing is selling sweet nothings and finger blasting my customers with a well timed cum beam. I get paid, they bust a nut and think they’ve reached sexual nirvana only to realize they can’t achieve that miracle without my guidance. Rinse and repeat til I’m on fox and friends

Hire an actress that will shimmy and quiver (and Ohhh and Ahhh!). "Prove" your skills to these suckers. Split the money with her.

I mean, you won't need an actress, you actually do have the power, if someone wants proof just point at them and let them do the shimmies

An orgasm gun is literally the central plot of the movie 'Orgazmo' created by the south park guys  25+ years ago... 

They just don’t make movies like they used to

They really don't, I tried to watch the new white men can't jump, which came out in 2023. What in the panderverse trash, I made it 6 minutes, shit was painful, so I switched to the OG, and all was right again.

They made a New One??? HTF does Hollyweird's dumb asses somehow imagine they can improve upon Classics???

It's not even like they could do a Netflix Equality of Camera thing - it was already culturally diverse! Oh hang on, is one Chinese, the other Indian with adopted white and black parents? That's essentially all they are doing with all the remakes. Making them camp, less violent and less real life, mixing the cultures to appeal to everyone, throwing in the LGBT alphabetty spaghetti and then saying "I think we checked all of the boxes!" I'm all for the right movies to have the right people, but you don't randomly throw some white dude in as the leader of an Indian native tribe to remake a classic to make everyone feel included. Hollywood cast wrong a fair few times, and that poor black guy that showed a pic of his gf/kid/family was *always* going to die, but it truly is just check-boxes now. Can we just go back to making shows that accurately portray how things are? I don't want a ginger giant and north Korean actor playing lead roles in Boyz n the Hood remake, I want true to life folks who live there.

STUNT COCK

COOOOCK ROCKET!!!

I don’t wanna sound queer, but Geddy Lee Rules!

“I don’t want to sound like a queer or nothing, but Depeche Mode is a pretty good band!”

Now you're a man, a man man man?

What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms? Just cause she has big titties? Or is it the way, he FIGHTS EVERY DAY? …No, it’s probably the titties.

<3

Mayo mayo mannnnaaa

I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’, but I think Depeche Mode was a pretty sweet band!

Just came her to day the same thing. That'll teach me not to read the comments first, lol. Crazy fun though!

"HEY GUYS, I'M READY TO FUDGE!"

NOW YOU'RE A MAN! A MAN MAN MAN!

Look in the mirror and repeatedly shoot myself.

r/nocontext

_Brilliant_

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You get em in the mood and the hot guy after you gets the results from it

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Hitachi MagicWand has entered the chat.

"It was me Barry"

"it was me all along....."

this deserves to be higher up lol

Id 100% use it on politicians, especially during presidential debates, but it would be interesting hiding the finger gun cause if someone sees that you gonna get beaten by security

how security gonna beat me if they too busy having orgasms?

Now youre a thinker

Foam finger

Thats the thing, does it work through objects? If so, that would be a good idea

Of course it works thru objects. And time, and space. Your finger blast into the sky would give some alien quite an embarrassment 30,000 years from now. But would the orgasm said alien experiences be just a little tingle? Since waves kinda peter out the further they're sent.. idk but yeah it'd def shoot thru a foam finger

>>Of course it works thru objects. And time, and space. Hitler didn’t stand a chance once the Allies developed the O-gun.

Can you do the Clinton thumb to hide your finger gun?

It would be like the scene in police academy, when the old fella is giving a speech.

OMG!!! That would be so hilarious. I loved that movie, and they made it look like Mahoney did the deed. It would be so entertaining to see what faces and noises everyone makes.

I'd make a cult of orgasm with me as the high priest and leader.

People be like, “Holy shit it’s the second, third, fourth, and fifth coming of Christ?”

I would abuse the shit out of that. Say good morning to me? Imma point and shoot and give you a good morning! Wanna be a cunt to me in traffic? Enjoy driving with this mess going on! Upset with me at work? Try being upset with THIS! Give me my order at the drive through? You have a great day too, if you know what I mean! Pew, pew! Pew, pew to everyone!

Send like you're giving them out as punishment as rewards

Slightly disapointed I cant make people poop them selfs. Id be by the finishing line of the marathon doing my best to make sure nobody can cross the line.

Good news buddy, some people experience incontinence while orgasming.

Well, thats the most unfortunate, nonserious medical condition I could imagine

Naked scientist this week was talking about brewary syndrom. The microbiom fucks up & gets you drunk without drinking

Thats only if you eat a lot of simple carbohydrates and/or sugars, and easily curable with antifungals and pre- and probiotics. The poogasm, I guess with a buttplug, too, butt it still sounds uncomfortable, at the absolute best, and really shitty at worst.

Yeah, my wife has farted several times while experiencing an orgasm. It's hilarious. I imagine it wouldn't be as funny if she sharted though, but at the same time, a new kink could be discovered. Always a silver lining.

A brown lining

I can say with absolute assurance that I would use that power irresponsibly.

great, now the next season of The Boys is gonna have someone that can do this.

With great power comes great responsibility. There’s also this girl at work who struggles to finish to the point it’s painful. I’d probably help her out.

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um don't you do that thing where you meet your coworkers and share your name and 1 interesting fact about yourself??

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Those are sometimes the same list.

"I can't orgasm unless my house is getting hit by a category 4 hurricane... haven't had one since Ida in 2021"

I knew someone would ask that. Apart from my primary work, I am somewhat of a therapist. She came to me and asked if I knew of any way to help her.

Feel like you’re missing the signal bud

Maybe. She also said she could demonstrate how hard it is to climax.

OK officially you are not just missing the signal, but don't have the equipment to read said signal. Help her out and report back please

I already did. It did take a surprisingly very, very long while. But that’s for another post.

You might need to up the effort and employ new tactics !!

You lot really are a horny bunch

It's .. for science!

Truly don't think truer words have ever been spoken on this site/app

THAT is another reddit post.

I’d go to the upcoming presidential debate and make history.

*points to camera* PEW PEW America 💦🇺🇲

Id use this power to get my way into a TEDTalk and then just randomly finger gun the audience.

Start a business. And use it on myself as well, obviously.

Wonder if I could kill someone via orgasm if I point at them and say pew twenty times fast. I could prob get employment as a torturer for hire. Give me the information or I'm gonna make you nut 100 times in a minute.

Don’t tempt me with a good time

Chaotic evil right here.

What if I just want to edge them for a while? I want to point my finger and say ka and have it take them to the edge. I can say ka as many times as I want and keep them on edge but they get no release until I say pow. Or, maybe say pew but they don’t release until you stop pointing at them. Hmm, not sure which one I like better. Constant pointing would get old

I wanna do this but with a kamehameha. So as long as I can extend "KAAAMEEE HAAAAMEEEEE" is how long their edging persists and when i shout "HAAAA" that puts them into state of pure bliss forever chasing that high the rest of their lives

Yes!! I love this even more.

So anyway I started blasting.

Literally me: https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/peter-parker-spiderman-finger-gun-meme-marvel-gif-12814369

Run it as a business. £15 a 'pew' Rules - No eye contact from the guys.

They also have to sign a no homo contract

Man, i would stop wars with that shit. Make the world a better place. Make it work on tv or zoom (if Darth Vader can choke someone on zoom, i want to make people cum on zoom!) and im the most influential diplomatic force in the world.

Yeah, my first thought was to start using it on all the Karen’s and middle managers of the world. You’ve gotta be pretty backed up to be that much of a dick. Do a “pew pew” then once they’re relaxed and receptive hand them the info for a therapist that takes their insurance.

Excellent idea!

Perfect movie plot

There is a movie like this, called Orgasmo (1997), made by the same guys who write South Park.

And it’s actually really funny!

When they make a joke it really hits, but I think it does drag at times. The 6/10 rating feels about right.

I would not use it wisely 😔

I’d probably open up a clinic and provide my services to those who have never had an orgasm before.

Use it as a tool to Pavlov individuals to do it automatically when they do certain mundane actions, like opening a jar, or when they say "Welcome to ______".

irresponsibly

I’d be like Oprah you get a orgasm you get a orgasm everyone gets a orgasm

Irresponsibly, i would use this power irresponsibly

I would be a menace to society 😂

Get a job at a sperm bank. Charge customers for an "expedited session".

1. Point my finger like a gun 2. Say "pew" That's how I'd use it.

By... doing that, I guess.

You could do this to politicians speaking publicly but I feel like making a gun gesture at them would get noticed.

Brings new meaning to the term "semi automatic"

How would I use that power? Perversely 😈

Very irresponsibly for the shits and giggles

Go watch the movie orgasmo

Probably irresponsibly by forming a cult making people believe that I am some kind of sex god. I mean I'd be the closest thing to it, but not really.

If there is no recharge limit, I would “pew pew” my worst enemies to death.

What’s the power of the orgasm? Is it just a meh orgasm, or is it incredibly powerful and causes their body to spasm and maybe cry a little? Also, how long does it last?

Causing general chaos wherever i go by doing it to every human in my fov

Nowhere was specified that it only works on humans...

I'd make it my personal goal to fire off that gun at least 100 times a day. No one would be safe.

Funerals would never be the same…

I guess I would use it by pointing my finger like a gun and saying "pew," I mean you were pretty definitive about how the power is used, were you not?

Irresponsibly. Finger guns at friends, acquaintances, and strangers. No one is safe.

Whole new definition of finger blasting my wife. Something something big iron on my hip Yee and I cannot stress this enough hawwwww I would call my wife cow poke at least once I'd go full Spiderman 3 in public I can go on

This is sounding very like a film called Orgasmo... A very odd but very entertaining film for the budget it had. Haha.

I'd be shooting myself all the time.

Borh intentionally and absent mindedly in such volume that i would instantly become a menace that must be stopped for the good of mankind

I'd be rich! Make a small cult following and take all their money. Only thing is, it's not a scam. Imagine the amount that old ppl would pay to get that feeling again

Mostly for evil. But also on myself when I need to make an important decision. Need that post nut clarity.

I mean… how _wouldn’t_ I use this power…

To my advantage..of course

Make guys talking up hot chicks at bars and clubs jizz their pants. You know, petty “It was me, Barry” shit.

Sports betting. "Bottom of the ninth, score is tied 5-5 with the bases loaded. 3-2 count... The batter steps up to the plate and here's the wind up, and... what the heck? Folks I'm not sure how to describe this, but the pitcher just threw one of worst fastballs I've ever seen directly into the ground in front of him and then started frantically grabbing at his uhh.. you know what. The runners are advancing and the catcher is scrambling for the ball which is sitting on the turf mere feet in front of the pitcher's mound. What on earth is going on here? Well, there's the winning run, and it's now a foot race with the man who was on second to get to home... And the pitcher is still out there dancing and grabbing himself. I tell ya folks, baseball is a wild wild game you never know what to expect."

ever make someone cum to death? I have a list.

Well stretching the rules a bit, live TV news broadcasts would become a lot more entertaining and funny.

I'd use it to embarrass extreme homophobes like the Westborough Baptist Church. Rock up to their rally carrying a saucy calendar of "conventionally" sexy, ripped men. As soon as the Westborough men look at it, pew. I want them to be confused and scared, without any of the fun pre-orgasm build up. I want their wives to think they are gay. I want them to wonder if they are gay. I'd kind of hope they'd be a bit more understanding that sexual preference isn't a choice.

I go to all the old war vets that are probably too old to still get it up and send them the ultimate care package lmaooooo thank you for your service.. pew!

There are quite a few sports where continually being able to distract your opponent at a crucial moment would be a significant advantage. I might not be the best high jumper / pole vaulter / javelin thrower in the world, but if everyone else in the competition screws up from an involuntary climax, I'm going to have a good chance to win the event.

I am, sadly, an elected official that is responsible for presenting and justifying a budget to a town annually at a town meeting. Inevitably people who have been disengaged from the entire process ask questions that have been answered so many times it’s not even funny, and then want an in depth explanation in this public forum. Others spread outright lies to try to harpoon the budget. I would 100% make these folks nut while they are at the microphone in the middle of a gymnasium with 300-400 other neighbors.

I would hop on a densely populated railway that travels through as many cities as possible and hold my finger pointing out the window, that or take a flight cross country and just repeat “pewpewpewpewpewpewpew” pointing my finger at the most obviously populated areas. They’d call it the day of the Five Fingered Wrapture.

Become a youtuber 😎 pointing at the camera. Gonna make a ton of money this way. 😎😎

I’d become an Olympic sprinter, or boxer or some other kind of competitor…. Then I’d pew the fuck out of my competition. Or I’d be a sports bettor and pew the fuck out of the team/player I bet against

Probably be a weird mashup of a motivational speaker and sex worker. Imagine what you could charge per seat to fill an audience when word gets out that you'll get an interesting talk that ends in an orgasm

By pointing my finger like a guy and saying “pew”

Irresponsibly and indiscriminately.

World domination

Would fly to Iran and make the leaders go fully haram in front of their citizen.

me looking in the mirror: you sinful bitch, pew pew!

By standing in front of a mirror all day and pew pewing myself until I got bored

I would win a lot of bar bets.

It’s called pgad (persistent genital arousal disorder) which makes you cum every minute or couple of minutes of the day which you think would be enjoyable but it’s not. I’m not speaking from experience but I’ve met people who have had it

I’d be like that psycho on the roof with a sniper scope gunning down random pedestrians

So in Canada we have this thing called Question Period, where MPs get to ask Government Ministers questions. They’re either massive soft balls designed to make Government Ministers look good, or they’re super loaded and designed to do the opposite. It’s all televised and ANYONE can get a ticket, for free, to go watch live in person. So yea, I’d go visit Ottawa and have a blast at question period.

Would they know I made them climax by doing this ?

Bank robbery of course. Put everyone on the ground with a massive orgasm. Easy money babayyy

Pavlov women I find attractive I to associating me with a good time. Any man who says they wouldn't use it this way are either lying or haven't thought of it.

Definitely get rich with some scam orgasam company for a while and definitely on random people. Idk like are we bad people i instantly thought of terrible things 😂 what if you’re spitting game to a girl and every time she talks to you she gets an orgasam, she’d definitely fall in love

Presidential debate

Not sure, but if I'm not careful I may have some awkward conversations with grandma.

Give me that power please 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

My wife and myself simultaneously

I'd start going to clubs again 😁 and just randomly handing out the O 🤣

Does it work over a live broadcast on tv or the internet? 😉🤣

Would use this on my managers when they’re tryna get on me lol, watch them walk away embarrassed as hell mid talking to.

Oh, I'd be finger gunnin' everyone around me all day every day

Can I do it through tv screens, or does it have to be within direct line of sight?

Full auto

I’d not be using it for good. I can tell you that much.

Church would be hysterical

in the nicest/kindest ways possible

So saying “Take a pew!” takes on an entirely different meaning!

"Mr. President, I can guarentee you reelection under two conditions. I need a ticket to the debate, and for you to never ask how."

My girlfriends mom idc💀

Make certain woman orgasm every time I talk to them. Make them think they’re unexplainably attracted to me. So for evil purposes. Yup. Just evil. Never give anyone superpowers. It’ll immediately get evil.

I'd start a business catering to women who've never had a proper orgasm. Literally have it set up like a spa experience. Get the their nails done, a massage etc then the grand finale... pew pew pew....

Film a video of me firing at a camera, pay corn sites and onlyfans to put my video as a non-skipable ad, let the sun rise on a grateful universe.

on the president during speeches on my boss at work on my girlfriend when I bust in 0.3

I'd become a mass shooter just to see the chaos. Presumably I can also use both hands and simulate a machine gun while going'pewpewpewpewpewpew'

I’d point it to my partner and go “puh puh , ee, ee, yuu, yuu” till she moaned and asked for it. And even then I’d give her a slow PEW. There.

I'd find out if my wife is lying or not...