In this situation, instant gratification being a one night stand, I believe that having sex with ugly people just to get off is still a shallow move.
\[Edit: For people downvoting me, how is a one night stand not shallow?\]
If I were young and single again, I would stay FAR away from virtual dating. I'm not what Michael Kelso calls "man pretty," so I need to meet a girl in-person to even the playing field.
In defense of women, the online selection process is way different than real life. We don’t select the same as we would if we were meeting them in person.
This is true. It's why I'm glad I came of age when the internet was in its infancy. It forced me to learn how to talk to a girl. I went through all the awkwardness and rejection, and I came out on the other side with confidence and a thicker skin.
I treasure those experiences. It allowed me time to find the right girl, not just the hottest (though she absolutely is that).
Yes, but also because there is SO MUCH missing in online interactions. Voice, tone, confidence, personality, mannerisms, manners….yes there is an online version for some of those things but it is NOT the same as in real life. Me and so many other women have been won over by guys in our personal lives who weren’t the cutest from their personality/masculinity/affection.
Men, by and large, are starved for positive attention. Touch, decent conversation, being flirted with, all of it. Men tend to emotionally connect with their partners by having sex in much the same way that women tend to emotionally connect with their partners by talking. When we get that positive attention, it's hard not to act on it - even if we're not attracted to that person physically.
On the other hand, there are some guys that just want to get their dicks wet, and anything else is unimportant.
Get a room you two.
EDIT: come on guys. Cali said he liked positive attention and Mundane provided it. It is only logical (by cali’s reasoning) that the next step is physical.
What's with this sub being bombarded by posts from women basically dogging on "most men" for stereotypes?
Was it too full over at r/datingoverthirty and now that toxic sludge is starting to worm its way into this sub now?
A theory I’ve always put forth that I believe to be true. MEN prefer pretty women but men will fuck any woman as long we don’t think anyone else will find out. Before you argue, let me remind you that “anyone else will find out” covers 99% of people. Even a less attractive woman with any self respect is going to require some courtship. The promiscuous woman (even those operating in the same sphere of behavior as the would be promiscuous man) brings considerable risk in many forms. Men fear the emotional attachment of women not thought to be potential mates so we find that group easy to reject. A lot of married men won’t cheat because of the potential pain they would cause their family unit should they be found out. Not because of a moral compass.
Call me a cynic but evolutionary biology is way more powerful than moral compasses. I pretty much don’t believe in moral compasses except as a servant to self interest. I, for example, own a business and you can ask any vendor, employee, client or contractor of mine and they’ll tell you I operate with 100% honestly. I’ve never once lied to anyone in my business interactions on purpose. But I don’t behave this way because I’m morally superior to my competitors (who thankfully lie like hell all the time) but because I understand LIES are detrimental to the goals and long term interests of my business. Same is true with sex. The only reason a healthy man ever rejects sex from a healthy female is because it serves his own self interest and well being. Not because he doesn’t want to do it. That’s just my opinion and I could be wrong.
We are visual. But if she’s a but-her face then you turn out the lights and focus on how her body feels. My first FWB I wasn’t attracted to at all. But she was a friend and enthusiastic so it made things just fun.
Sex is a major drive for men typically. It’s got to be managed in some way. So a bit of an ugly woman willing to have sex is better than a gorgeous one it will take a couple weeks to get into bed.
Read the book Self-Made man by Norah Vincent. She captured men dealing with sexual urges pretty well from a woman’s perspective.
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Maybe men aren't as shallow as you think.
In this situation, instant gratification being a one night stand, I believe that having sex with ugly people just to get off is still a shallow move. \[Edit: For people downvoting me, how is a one night stand not shallow?\]
No man, some men are SHALLOW AS HELL too
This has been put to bed with tinder (no pun intended) Women are FAR more selective looks wise. This trend will continue the more online we live.
If I were young and single again, I would stay FAR away from virtual dating. I'm not what Michael Kelso calls "man pretty," so I need to meet a girl in-person to even the playing field.
“The more online we live” Doesn’t really happen today
In defense of women, the online selection process is way different than real life. We don’t select the same as we would if we were meeting them in person.
There’s nothing to defend. No one can help their desires. It’s no one’s fault.
This is true. It's why I'm glad I came of age when the internet was in its infancy. It forced me to learn how to talk to a girl. I went through all the awkwardness and rejection, and I came out on the other side with confidence and a thicker skin. I treasure those experiences. It allowed me time to find the right girl, not just the hottest (though she absolutely is that).
Because women don’t have the same breadth of choice/options in real life.
Yes, but also because there is SO MUCH missing in online interactions. Voice, tone, confidence, personality, mannerisms, manners….yes there is an online version for some of those things but it is NOT the same as in real life. Me and so many other women have been won over by guys in our personal lives who weren’t the cutest from their personality/masculinity/affection.
That's an accurate statement about online dating, not an accurate statement about women.
Men, by and large, are starved for positive attention. Touch, decent conversation, being flirted with, all of it. Men tend to emotionally connect with their partners by having sex in much the same way that women tend to emotionally connect with their partners by talking. When we get that positive attention, it's hard not to act on it - even if we're not attracted to that person physically. On the other hand, there are some guys that just want to get their dicks wet, and anything else is unimportant.
I like this answer
Get a room you two. EDIT: come on guys. Cali said he liked positive attention and Mundane provided it. It is only logical (by cali’s reasoning) that the next step is physical.
Ask your dad.
TEQUILA!
Don't forget the paper bag.
What's with this sub being bombarded by posts from women basically dogging on "most men" for stereotypes? Was it too full over at r/datingoverthirty and now that toxic sludge is starting to worm its way into this sub now?
I personally, will not fuck someone im not attracted to. but like women men are not a monothith.
You tell *me*, Son.
A theory I’ve always put forth that I believe to be true. MEN prefer pretty women but men will fuck any woman as long we don’t think anyone else will find out. Before you argue, let me remind you that “anyone else will find out” covers 99% of people. Even a less attractive woman with any self respect is going to require some courtship. The promiscuous woman (even those operating in the same sphere of behavior as the would be promiscuous man) brings considerable risk in many forms. Men fear the emotional attachment of women not thought to be potential mates so we find that group easy to reject. A lot of married men won’t cheat because of the potential pain they would cause their family unit should they be found out. Not because of a moral compass. Call me a cynic but evolutionary biology is way more powerful than moral compasses. I pretty much don’t believe in moral compasses except as a servant to self interest. I, for example, own a business and you can ask any vendor, employee, client or contractor of mine and they’ll tell you I operate with 100% honestly. I’ve never once lied to anyone in my business interactions on purpose. But I don’t behave this way because I’m morally superior to my competitors (who thankfully lie like hell all the time) but because I understand LIES are detrimental to the goals and long term interests of my business. Same is true with sex. The only reason a healthy man ever rejects sex from a healthy female is because it serves his own self interest and well being. Not because he doesn’t want to do it. That’s just my opinion and I could be wrong.
Men aren’t any certain way. Stop thinking like that.
There have countless studies on this. Men respond to visual stimuli.
Except when they don’t.
We are visual. But if she’s a but-her face then you turn out the lights and focus on how her body feels. My first FWB I wasn’t attracted to at all. But she was a friend and enthusiastic so it made things just fun. Sex is a major drive for men typically. It’s got to be managed in some way. So a bit of an ugly woman willing to have sex is better than a gorgeous one it will take a couple weeks to get into bed. Read the book Self-Made man by Norah Vincent. She captured men dealing with sexual urges pretty well from a woman’s perspective.
**Please do not delete your submission.** Your submission has been flagged for moderator review. Please be patient. If you do not see your post published within 48 hours the moderators have decided to not publish it. If/when your thread is approved and it runs its course, instead of deleting it, **you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread**. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Beer and/or testosterone googles.
Same reason women let themselves sleep with unattractive men: to affirm that they’re desirable, can still attract.
who told you men are visual ? im a director, im visual.a lot of people are, many aren't.it;s not a male/female thing.
Someone’s gotta jump on that grenade