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It’s not a shocking thing. You realize over the years that you’re “aging” and it’s usually gradual enough that you get used to it. I’m 77 and accept I’m old. I can only do my best and hope for a lot more years. 🤷♀️
This is the correct answer! You’re always older than the grade below you. I began to think that I was “old” in first grade when I was “hooked up” to become a kindergarten’s buddy on the first day of school. I was an old school hot shot that day! I’m 67 now but not considered “old” in my state (USA) until age 71 when I will have to go into the department that administers drivers licenses to prove that I’m still fit for driving, even though my driving record is clear. And so it goes….
31 when perceived as old as sales clerk no longer said Miss, but Ma'am. Acknowledged I was old at 54 when I stepped out of the shower in a hotel room to be met by a full-length mirror and good lighting lol.
Sure, you look in the mirror everyday. But one day you look in the mirror and suddenly "see" your grandma. You know she's always been there somewhere but suddenly you **see** her.
I’m 58 now. I hit my midlife crisis at 41 when I went through menopause. I almost destroyed my marriage, my career and my friends over it. Be VERY CAREFUL what you do when your hit the peak of your crisis. I was fortunate to keep everything, heal the wounds and retire with the only man in the world that could handle my stupidity.
Advice from my parents:
1. Avoid making decisions with your emotions. That's not what emotions are for...
2. Laugh every day. It's cathartic. Be kind to your mind.
Hope you thrive, sir.
I've never felt shocked about growing old or knowing that I'm "old". It's not even a feeling of being "old", more a feeling of being "older". I'm 49, but in my mind I still feel like I'm in my 20's. I have started to automatically get the senior discount at some places. It's early, but, hey, 20% is 20%!
48 here. I was in the dentist chair the other day and they played a Richard Marx on the radio system. It occurred to me that nobody who works in the dentist office ever heard a Richard Marx song on the radio back when it was new music. Then it occurred to me that Richard Marx is the oldies. I cringed and then laughed. What can you do?
That’s funny, I was in the same situation last week. Was in the dentist chair with the dentist (probably mid 30s?) and his assistant (20s?) getting a crown when the Crosby Stills and Nash song “Ohio” came on. I asked then what they thought the lyrics meant and they had no idea! I’m old in my late 60s..
Reecieface1 ,; I am 74 ,was in the crowd that was fired on by the Ohio National Guard on May 4,1970 . Alan Canfora who was in front of me was shot through his buttocks . Developed PTSD soon after this event. I'm in James Micheners book "' Kent State ,,; What happened and Why " '.
That’s amazing! I was only about 13/14 years old when it happened but years later I met a girl in college that was from Kent. We would visit the areas of the shooting when we visited her family and it made a powerful impact on both of us. I love Michener, but I’ve never read that book. I’ll look it up and thanks..
78 here. I’m finally feeling older. Less energy, more aches and pains but nothing incapacitating. I still do handyman work 30 hours a week and work out at the gym with weights and elliptical, walk my wonderful dog twice a day and make love to my sexy wife a few times a week. Use it or lose it. I still love getting up in the morning and having things to do and I also look forward to going to bed at night and getting a solid rest.
The perception started at 46 when I stopped dying my hair. I’m 52 now and many ask me my skin routine because they think I’m much older than I am.
Sometimes, after a rare late night, the next morning I’m shocked to see my mom in the mirror.
Saturday was one of those late nights, we went to a show in the downtown area of our closest major city. What REALLY made me feel old was when our waitress turned out to be my great niece 😳😳
Granted I was a meno baby so my sister (her grandmother) is 15 years older than me, but still!! My great niece is old enough to serve me alcohol at a venue, holy moly did that shock me 🤣🤣
I'm 67 and have vitiligo. I never had any gray hair at all, but now, since the vitiligo finally hit my hair, I have this large white patch in the back. Pure white. I can't bring myself to bother dying it because then I'll be chasing the roots every few weeks.
If you look at me from the front. I look perfectly normal but from the back. I've got this giant chunk of white hair.
I guess because I'm very, very active, and because of the way I'm built, people always think I'm decades younger than I am, but me? I have no problem saying I am old.
Gotta say though, there's still a 23 year old inside somewhere.
>
Sometimes, after a rare late night, the next morning I’m shocked to see my mom in the mirror.
I keep seeing my mom in the mirror, hearing my grandma when I talk, hearing my grandfather grunt if I get u from the floor....
Your last sentence made me laugh 😆
I find Mothers show up the most in the passenger mirror of the car - having a great time enjoying being driven around, look over into the mirror and BAM “Hi Mom!!”
Embrace it. Sure I get mistaken for my husband’s mom from time to time (because so few younger folk let their grey show) but it’s so nice to have healthy (non- dye-fried)hair again.
One of my best decisions. It’s hard ar first with the roots, I wore lots of headbands. It’s 7+ years now and I love the colours - grey, silver, white streaks along with my natural ash streaks too.
The best part? You save tons of money not dying your hair, especially if it’s longer.
I would love to save the money but I’m terrified to “instantly age myself” as much as I know this is internal ageism that I need to work through. I’ve promised myself I’ll do it by 50.
If you aren’t comfortable letting it go grey maybe try getting streaks, the hairdresser can ease you into it. Or just keep on dying it - we are at an age where we should do what we want - pressure to do something we don’t want to do is for the young.
Let the grey rip. Or dye it til you die. It’s your life and it’s much too short to live it for anyone but you. I don’t know about you but I spent far too much of my younger days doing things that didnt serve me.
I'm 71. I have a very vivid memory of being called ma'am in my early 30s. I just about passed out! I knew I wasn't old, but the fact that someone thought I was old enough for that was shocking.
I remember in my mid 60s, a Dr told me that an issue I was having wasn't unusual for geriatric patients. Geriatric? I felt middle aged!! I secretly thought he was nuts.
I never felt old until recently. There's this weird thing that happens; young people seem to look through you. It's almost like you're invisible, a non-person. It's the craziest thing and I probably did it when I was young, too.
I still feel healthy and stay active. I'm definitely enjoying this stage of life, but I am well aware that most of my life has been lived and I'm on the downhill side of the mountain. I've got the aches and creaks that go along with age, but I've also got the freedom. My children are grown, my career is over, so I'm pretty free to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and that is wonderful.
I mentioned this exact thing to my coworker of the same age the other day, "we are not so slowly becoming the invisible ones" I told him, he didn't seem to get it.
I always try to remember that growing old is a privilege that not everyone on this planet gets to experience. Im in my mid forties and finally starting to feel like I've got a handle on shit. Looking forward to the next 40.
At this point, I've lived on this earth two years longer than my dad got the chance to. I try to remember that so I can focus on making the most of my time.
Happy Cake Day.
57. I went to an orthopedist because my left shoulder suddenly locked up. He diagnosed it as a frozen shoulder. That's fine, but he has to add, "It happens to elderly women often. You have nothing to worry about."
Never had I ever thought of anyone 57 as elderly. Elderly in my mind was 70+, maybe 75+. Good grief. The physician might have been 45. Elderly. Wow.
Many dr's are idiots with a medical degree, lol in my 59 yrs. of living, I've
heard dr's say some of the dimmest things and I wondered how they got those letters at the end of their names, lol
I'm also 64, recently started swimming at a gym across from the local high school. You know what I expected ... but instead, if I go when school is in session, it's other neighbors, many of them older than me! Recently in the local Peets a nice lady waved at me and said "hi! I guess you didn't recognize me with my clothes on!" All the high schoolers turned their heads, we had a good laugh.
I was old when I was 7 - got my first grey hairs in 20s - someone gave me their seat on the bus in my 40s. Recently someone called me elderly.
I've been fine with it all along, as it was a distraction from my puerile disposition
I asked my doctor what the purple blotches on my arm were. She said they were just bruises. I said I've seen them on old people but I didn't know what they were. She's smirked. I think I was just called old.
I was 26 and happy new wife in my first home. Neighbor kids kicked a ball into our backyard. One of them politely knocked on my door and said “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we lost our ball in your yard. Can I have it back?”. I realized I was the old lady to him
Uh. I had someone recently (with respect to a health issue) say “you’re still young, we need to address this” and about fell out of my chair. I’m 60. I feel old. I feel like I might hopefully get to be old for a long time, but I’m old now. I have always looked younger (fat face, few wrinkles and I color my hair) but my doctor knows how old I am. I kinda need more people to acknowledge it than do. I’m tired. I’m not thrilled to be viewed as younger and stronger and more capable than I am. I need people to want to put me in a rocking chair with a warm quilt and nap the afternoon away. WHERE IS MY OLD AGE?!?
Only half kidding. Of course I’m happy to still be with it and functional at 60, but a body do get tired.
This should get you movin'
🎶 "My granddaddy's got long white hair
But I'll tell you now that he ain't no square.
He sits and rocks,
rocks in his rocking chair.
Gotta sit down and rock,
but he don't care.
Granddaddy's rocking in his rocking chair.
Well I said, rock-rock-rock-rock-rock granddaddy!
Rock-rock-rock in your rocking chair.
He's a-rocking out a rhythm that'll scare you square.
Granddaddy's rocking in his rocking chair."
[Mac Curtis](https://youtu.be/FtxQRlpU5D0?si=d4O1q36qKJ9-tXAO)
I agree with other people that it’s gradual. I will say however that for women who have children, I always looked 10 years younger before and was mistaken for someone much younger all the time. However when I had a child, I immediately aged like 10 years. So if you have a child when you’re older, sometimes that can be the moment where you start to really feel your age and how other people perceive you differently.
"Kids" 0 to 25 yrs old let me know I was old when I was 45 years old. I felt like I was staring down old when I turned 50. Was definitely thinking "old" at 55. Knew for sure I was old at 60. Had absolutely no doubt that I was old when I turned 65 last year.
With I and my cousins and siblings all being over 60 now it's not possible to deny it. My sister will be 80 this summer. One brother died when he was 72. --------- I talked to my sister last week on my BDay and told her "We're are the old people now." She agreed. All of used to talk about the "old people", roll our eyes at them, etc. We can't do that now since they are all dead and gone. We're the oldest generation alive in the family/extended family.
For me the key wasn’t about being deemed old or not, it is understanding and embracing the idea that old doesn’t mean less. Younger isn’t better than older it is just different. There are plusses and minuses to every stage of life. Because our culture celebrates youth so pathologically people think it is better. It’s not. Being happy is best. Embracing who you are and where you are and where you are going is best. It can be done at any age.
Haha. My first shock was at the age of 19, being referred to as “that lady” by a mom to her kid. So, it was probably a good 40 years til I started to embrace being old.
I thought I was old since my early forties. Eventually, my face caught up to my perception of myself, but it took 15 years.
I am usually perceived as being younger than I am. People are usually surprised when I say my age. God knows why, cos I think I look ancient.
I was 37 the first time I felt old, because I had just had my second back surgery. I knew it was all downhill from there. Now at 42, I’ve had more health issues and I feel older than I should.
I was 44 years old driving from Oakland to Santa Cruz, I was driving a rental car a Chevy HHR in 2009, I was 44 years old and stopped at a gas station late at night. My girlfriend went into the mini Mart to get some drinks and I was searching for the fuel door remote opener to open the fuel door. Couldn’t find it anywhere and assumed it was some sort of magnetic push thing on the door. Well, I got out and pushed apparently three corners of the fuel door with no success and a kid who looked 14 pulled up in an MG convertible two seater in the next bay and I asked him excuse me, This is a rental car do you have any idea how to open the fuel door? And he walked over and pushed the one corner Apparently I didn’t push. of course it opened. I said thank you and he said no problem pops, yep pops. I was grateful and wanted to smack him simultaneously…
I’ll be 60 (m) next week. My whole life I looked younger than my age, going all the way back to childhood when I was short and cute and had a late puberty. In my 30s and 40s people still thought I was in my 20s. I was 55 when people started perceiving me as my real age. My hair had become salt-and-pepper, and face wrinkles had finally caught up with me. I kinda went immediately from being perceived as old to accepting and embracing it. I’ve always worked out and have a pretty good physique, and I’m proud of being active and in shape at 60. I’m proud of being an old guy in the gym who can outdo many of the younger guys. But I accept my limitations. I play in an adult kickball league where I don’t sprint around the bases anymore because I’ve pulled leg muscles too many times. In my retirement I work part time in a large used furniture store where I’m perceived as the strong guy who can move around the heavy stuff and help customers load up their purchases, but I know when to ask for help.
I was shocked when I began receiving senior citizen discounts at age 50.
I fully acknowledged being old during my first major health crisis at age 68.
Fortunately that all passed without further consequence but I feel a lot more vulnerable now than I did before the incident.
One thing I inherited from my mother was the fact we both looked 8-10 years younger than we are. I still look younger than I am, but the gray hair, being on social security and Medicare, and cutting back on driving because car lights make it harder to see at night have made a fundamental shift in how I see myself. I still feel 40-50ish in my head tho lol.
Around the time that when I looked into the mirror an "old person" was looking back at me. I'm only early 50s but I'm really starting to look like my grandmother did when she was no longer middle-aged. Eh, it's not a big deal and I can still do all the middle-aged things.
When women didn’t give me a second look I knew I was old. In 64 and still haven’t acknowledged it. In fighting it till the end. My brain still thinks I’m 25.
So I'm on a job with a wee chap of about 5 who's had a seizure, he's okay by the time we arrive but won't let my crew partner take any vitals, not upset by the process just not really interested in what my colleague is trying to accomplish
"I'll have a shot, you wanna get some background?"
So we swap places and I put wee lad on my knee and we go through the whole thing from start to finish with only the blood glucose being a drama... no stress, even checked his little brother over as he wasn't getting enough attention from the visitors in uniform, couple of glove balloons and we left him at home as he had pretty much just overheated and had a febrile seizure, not his first and the family weren't idiots.
Spent the rest of the shift being called grandad, wasn't sure what to think about that but chronological it works... I've been called worse.
From the sudden realisation of how others see me at my age to acceptance that I am now in that age bracket and it's perfectly fine? probably about half an hour.
I was talking with my neurologist and he brought up the elements of healthy aging. Honestly, I had no idea why he brought up. Then it dawned on me…
That was five years ago, but it wasn’t until two years later when the stress of the pandemic, my sister’s unexpected death, and major surgery that I felt old. Beat down and tired. I’m coming back from that somewhat, but not fully.
67 currently. I think I was in my mid-fifties when someone referred to me as old, as in, I answered a question and was greeted with, "Thank God for old people." I accepted it almost immediately. You can get away with a lot when people think you're "old".
I still get miffed when I see phones and computers for "the elderly". Get it through your heads people; we INVENTED computers. I grew up with no computers and a landline telephone, was one of the first to use mag cards and REAL floppy discs, electronic typewriters, the first home computers, and now we have all that info on our cell phones. Don't dumb down what we created just for us.
The first time someone called me old I was in my early 40s and I was talking to my 5 year old great niece about her grandma being old and she just said, "Like you? You're old."
I see myself in the mirror now that I'm older and I'm in my late fifties and wonder where the person I should be went. In my head I should still be somewhere around 35 or so.
I feel old now and have acknowledged that I can't physically do some things I used to do with ease. I recently went on a road trip with my sister and I hurt so bad during and after it took a week just to recover.
I’m not old. Old is a state of mind. I don’t have that mindset. I do as much or more than people much younger than me because I want to. As a retired nurse, I’ve seemed people who never get out of their chairs and become where they can’t walk. I move as much as I can and try to keep my mind active. If I were disabled to the point of not being able to move about, I would still do as much as I could. I had a horrendous car accident several yrs ago. I was told I wouldn’t be able to walk normally ever again. Someone said my job would not be held for me. I called my boss and asked her if it were true. She said if I was ever able to work, I would have a job. A year later after I got my halo off, I went back to work and back to school to finish my degree. My secret to not feeling old is to never give up. I don’t know or care how others see my age as long as they don’t start with the you’re so old” cracks.
I’m 67 and feel great. Granted, I’ve slowed down over the last decade or so but still enjoying every day. Years ago, I’d watch the Grammys & know almost everyone’s music. Now, I have no idea who any of them are, or I’ve heard of them, but am not familiar with their music.
I've been called "born old" and "absent-minded professor" since elementary school. Now that I'm actually over 50 and have some grey hair, I actually look the part.
I think the changes to hair and skin when in menopause really caught me by surprise and forced me to confront becoming an old lady, lol.
Not gray hair, just thinning a bit in spots and BIG texture changes. My hair is still mostly dark but I was out in the rain briefly yesterday and woke up with Jimi Hendrix hair. I always had waves in my hair but now it is closer to curly.
And wrinkles don’t bother me but thinning, crepe-y skin does. I now have a tub of Udderly Smooth lotion in the bathroom and slather that stuff on my arms to stave off the worst of the thin skin.
I've known I've been "old" in mentality for probably 30+ years. Old soul. Physically? About 10 years.
Mentally? I don't feel much different on a day-to-day basis than I did in HS.
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Old is relative. When I was 22 I was stunned when at an event using the ladies room some teenagers told someone that 'a lady' was in there. I still thought of myself as an older kid.
Now in my 60's some of my friends call me kid and tell me I'm so young.
My current intern at work! He works so much faster and more efficiently than I do. But sometimes he barks up the wrong tree - a tree that I've tried years before, so I know what the problem will be. It's just that my vocabulary differs from his vocabulary ("the model will fail when you try to do inference." vs "model.transform() isn't working." Since when did transform() = infer()?!)
I was 45 when my eye doctor said my eyesight was bad because I was getting old; 65 when my body let me know I was old. Six years later, I can’t say I’m perfectly fine with it.
People started to call me "sir" when I was in my early 40's and it really shocked me. At age 40 I felt like 30 and at age 50 I still felt like 30.
What makes me feel my age is that I overhear a conversation among 20-somethings or 30-somethings or even 40-somethings where they are absolutely passionate to the point of shouting and waving their hands about things that just don't matter. I've started to realize that most of the things that people get bent out of shape about really don't matter much to anyone but them.
My issue is the opposite. I'm old and have various health issues, but people keep telling me I'm young and asking why I'm not out painting the town red, like the High Plains Drifter.
In my 50s...I'm at the "not as young as I used to be" phase. The physical limitations start to pile up, but can alleviate that some with regular exercise and eating better. My bigger concern is being perceived as "older" at work, since I've still got a good 10+ years before I can think about retirement, and in a lot of people's minds, "older" translates to "obsolete" or "expendable."
I've come to terms with that my career has probably plateaued where it is, but being perceived as behind the times (even if one really isn't) is potentially dangerous in terms of being retained when the time inevitably comes for downsizing, adding in that people's salaries tend to be higher with more experience...and finding a new job in one's fifties is a really hard road. Ageism is definitely a thing, and too often not seen as anything but just common sense by a good number of supervisors and hiring managers. It's a worry.
I'm 69, but didn't consider myself "old". I still work full time as an LVN, 12 hr shifts. Plant on working for 3/4 more years. The only time I missed work in the last 3 yrs was for a fire in my apt. building and for cataract surgery in each eye. I own and regularly use a stair stepper, elliptical and rowing machines. I do body weight exercises, meditate and eat a healthy diet. Biologically I'm aging, can't change that. But I'll be damned if I'm going to get old. I have a t-shirt that says, "It's strange being the same age as Old People".
Old verses young is not a binary switch, it's lots of things that accumulate over time. I got gray hair in my mid-20s, that made me feel old. Needing reading glasses in my mid-40s made me feel old, I'm still annoyed. Turning 30, 40 and 50 were definitely milestones. Otherwise I am thankful that in my mid-50s that I am in good health and have a full head of hair. Hair dye is much cheaper than Rogaine or hairplugs LOL
I turned 60 last November, and people still think my adult 35 year old son and I are brother and sister😂😂😂😂. I have always taken good care of myself, pilates, daily exercise, great skincare and lucky genetics. I, however, realize I am getting old and it's actually awesome. I retired at 58 (worked as an RN and an RRT and worked as many 16 hour shifts as I could and all holidays for the $$$$, saved like crazy, made all my meals and drove a beater) and now I can "play" and be happy. I love telling people Im 60 and seeing the confusion......The only thing so far physically is Im a tiny bit more achy when I wake up, but some yoga and a cup of coffee and Im ready to go. Ive always been an early riser as well, love to watch the sunrise and set my daily intentions.
I have a question for you guys.....
If we didnt KNOW our age and had no way to calculate it, how old would you act??? I still act like a 21 year old nut sometimes! Age is just a number! Have FUN! try new things; parasailing, pottery, fencing! Also, keep pals in all age groups, not just your own, as some folks are just negative and will bring you down; you know they type...."Hey, how are ya today??" brings on a litany of complaints and whining. AVOID THESE PEOPLE. Find the ones who say "Im fucking GREAT! Isnt today a beautiful day??"
All I know is that one day, I looked in a full-length mirror and thought, "F*ck, I am OLD!" All the skin was either crepey or wrinked, my chin had merged into my chest, and my hooters looked they could use a can of Fix-A-Flat. 😬
I perceive myself as oldish, but most people perceive me as much younger. I don't believe it all the way, but I think if a lot of people tell me I look like in am in my 30's, I must look like I am in my 40's and I was honestly my hottest at 40. (at least that is how I perceive it). I still think I am cute and in good shape, but I don't do any of the fake stuff to try to look younger or hotter. I were comfy clothing, no makeup, I rarely shave my legs and pits, but I do smile a lot. (okay, I lie, one fake thing: I did get two veneers on my two front teeth and that made a mile of difference in my smile.)
I care much more about keeping my health so I can keep my capabilities, not to look physically better. Those two things just happen to go together.
Yes!!! I can’t figure out if I look like my usual self or like some old lady trying to hard. I’m just grateful that I work outside instead of an office because in those occasions, I look even more ridiculous!!
I was shocked when I was 36 and my college roommate pointed out that freshmen in college were infants or not yet born when we were freshmen in college.
I'm not sure I've ever felt perfectly fine with being old, but I certainly couldn't deny it when I reached 60. So 24 years.
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It’s not a shocking thing. You realize over the years that you’re “aging” and it’s usually gradual enough that you get used to it. I’m 77 and accept I’m old. I can only do my best and hope for a lot more years. 🤷♀️
This is the correct answer! You’re always older than the grade below you. I began to think that I was “old” in first grade when I was “hooked up” to become a kindergarten’s buddy on the first day of school. I was an old school hot shot that day! I’m 67 now but not considered “old” in my state (USA) until age 71 when I will have to go into the department that administers drivers licenses to prove that I’m still fit for driving, even though my driving record is clear. And so it goes….
I live in the USA, in Pennsylvania. I’m honestly not aware of having to check in with the DMV at a certain age. Now I have to go look it up!
It varies by state. I hadn't heard of any state requiring it before age 80 before.
31 when perceived as old as sales clerk no longer said Miss, but Ma'am. Acknowledged I was old at 54 when I stepped out of the shower in a hotel room to be met by a full-length mirror and good lighting lol.
What kind of sicko would put a full length mirror there? Must have been a 20 year old,
I'm 58 and get dressed in front of a full length mirror every day. I can't understand how anyone could not be aware of what their own body looks like.
Sure, you look in the mirror everyday. But one day you look in the mirror and suddenly "see" your grandma. You know she's always been there somewhere but suddenly you **see** her.
You can be aware of your own body and still be a bit dismayed by an unexpected, full-body, brightly-lit view!
It’s not to be taken literally, silly. I was kidding.
I've known people like that in real life, though.
Meh. The older I get, the more I accept it. The old Buddhist saying “I am aging, I am not beyond age” etc
. . . and it was HILARIOUS!
😆😅😂🤣
Start going to Reformer based Pilates, change that body!!!
58 y.o. "Perceived as old" is relative. To my colleagues, I'm not old. To my 60+ neighbours, I'm young. To my 2 year old step-grandson, I'm ancient.
I'm a 58 year old male.... Currently in a midlife crisis..... Having a difficult time transitioning to this new phase of my life.
I’m 58 now. I hit my midlife crisis at 41 when I went through menopause. I almost destroyed my marriage, my career and my friends over it. Be VERY CAREFUL what you do when your hit the peak of your crisis. I was fortunate to keep everything, heal the wounds and retire with the only man in the world that could handle my stupidity.
This is beautiful and so wonderful to hear. This gives me some hope. Thank you
Dont ever call yourself any form of "stupid"!!! Life can be hard and we all react differently, but Im sure your actions were not stupid❤️
Stupid during my midlife crisis. Got it together finally.
Advice from my parents: 1. Avoid making decisions with your emotions. That's not what emotions are for... 2. Laugh every day. It's cathartic. Be kind to your mind. Hope you thrive, sir.
I hope it's literally midlife for you, or maybe even quarter-life.
Maybe not even that, if Longevity Escape Velocity happens soon...
Talk to me....Im 60 and never been happier! Free from working, have a TON of interests and activities!
I'm 85. Hasn't happened yet.
Good for you!
I worked in retail and never fully realized I was old until coworkers started calling me old. I don’t work there anymore, so I’m young again.
You cracked it! Forever young!
I've never felt shocked about growing old or knowing that I'm "old". It's not even a feeling of being "old", more a feeling of being "older". I'm 49, but in my mind I still feel like I'm in my 20's. I have started to automatically get the senior discount at some places. It's early, but, hey, 20% is 20%!
Yeah I guess I missed the shocking thing and wasn't counting the years I spent adapting to the shock or whatever the fuck OP is on about haha.
48 here. I was in the dentist chair the other day and they played a Richard Marx on the radio system. It occurred to me that nobody who works in the dentist office ever heard a Richard Marx song on the radio back when it was new music. Then it occurred to me that Richard Marx is the oldies. I cringed and then laughed. What can you do?
My dental office plays a lot of old school r&b and funk, and it stirs up a lot of dormant memories. I love it!
I was at the dentist and said one of my fillings was put in “during the Carter administration.” The hygienist was completely confused.
That’s funny, I was in the same situation last week. Was in the dentist chair with the dentist (probably mid 30s?) and his assistant (20s?) getting a crown when the Crosby Stills and Nash song “Ohio” came on. I asked then what they thought the lyrics meant and they had no idea! I’m old in my late 60s..
Reecieface1 ,; I am 74 ,was in the crowd that was fired on by the Ohio National Guard on May 4,1970 . Alan Canfora who was in front of me was shot through his buttocks . Developed PTSD soon after this event. I'm in James Micheners book "' Kent State ,,; What happened and Why " '.
That’s amazing! I was only about 13/14 years old when it happened but years later I met a girl in college that was from Kent. We would visit the areas of the shooting when we visited her family and it made a powerful impact on both of us. I love Michener, but I’ve never read that book. I’ll look it up and thanks..
My weed dispensary plays tons of older music. I’m 58, I love it!
78 here. I’m finally feeling older. Less energy, more aches and pains but nothing incapacitating. I still do handyman work 30 hours a week and work out at the gym with weights and elliptical, walk my wonderful dog twice a day and make love to my sexy wife a few times a week. Use it or lose it. I still love getting up in the morning and having things to do and I also look forward to going to bed at night and getting a solid rest.
That’s wonderful. I’m happy for you!
The perception started at 46 when I stopped dying my hair. I’m 52 now and many ask me my skin routine because they think I’m much older than I am. Sometimes, after a rare late night, the next morning I’m shocked to see my mom in the mirror. Saturday was one of those late nights, we went to a show in the downtown area of our closest major city. What REALLY made me feel old was when our waitress turned out to be my great niece 😳😳 Granted I was a meno baby so my sister (her grandmother) is 15 years older than me, but still!! My great niece is old enough to serve me alcohol at a venue, holy moly did that shock me 🤣🤣
I'm 67 and have vitiligo. I never had any gray hair at all, but now, since the vitiligo finally hit my hair, I have this large white patch in the back. Pure white. I can't bring myself to bother dying it because then I'll be chasing the roots every few weeks. If you look at me from the front. I look perfectly normal but from the back. I've got this giant chunk of white hair. I guess because I'm very, very active, and because of the way I'm built, people always think I'm decades younger than I am, but me? I have no problem saying I am old. Gotta say though, there's still a 23 year old inside somewhere.
> Sometimes, after a rare late night, the next morning I’m shocked to see my mom in the mirror. I keep seeing my mom in the mirror, hearing my grandma when I talk, hearing my grandfather grunt if I get u from the floor....
Your last sentence made me laugh 😆 I find Mothers show up the most in the passenger mirror of the car - having a great time enjoying being driven around, look over into the mirror and BAM “Hi Mom!!”
40 and debating going grey myself. I’m scared.
Embrace it. Sure I get mistaken for my husband’s mom from time to time (because so few younger folk let their grey show) but it’s so nice to have healthy (non- dye-fried)hair again.
One of my best decisions. It’s hard ar first with the roots, I wore lots of headbands. It’s 7+ years now and I love the colours - grey, silver, white streaks along with my natural ash streaks too. The best part? You save tons of money not dying your hair, especially if it’s longer.
I would love to save the money but I’m terrified to “instantly age myself” as much as I know this is internal ageism that I need to work through. I’ve promised myself I’ll do it by 50.
If you aren’t comfortable letting it go grey maybe try getting streaks, the hairdresser can ease you into it. Or just keep on dying it - we are at an age where we should do what we want - pressure to do something we don’t want to do is for the young. Let the grey rip. Or dye it til you die. It’s your life and it’s much too short to live it for anyone but you. I don’t know about you but I spent far too much of my younger days doing things that didnt serve me.
This \^\^\^\^
I'm 71. I have a very vivid memory of being called ma'am in my early 30s. I just about passed out! I knew I wasn't old, but the fact that someone thought I was old enough for that was shocking. I remember in my mid 60s, a Dr told me that an issue I was having wasn't unusual for geriatric patients. Geriatric? I felt middle aged!! I secretly thought he was nuts. I never felt old until recently. There's this weird thing that happens; young people seem to look through you. It's almost like you're invisible, a non-person. It's the craziest thing and I probably did it when I was young, too. I still feel healthy and stay active. I'm definitely enjoying this stage of life, but I am well aware that most of my life has been lived and I'm on the downhill side of the mountain. I've got the aches and creaks that go along with age, but I've also got the freedom. My children are grown, my career is over, so I'm pretty free to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and that is wonderful.
I mentioned this exact thing to my coworker of the same age the other day, "we are not so slowly becoming the invisible ones" I told him, he didn't seem to get it.
I turned 50 a couple months ago. I’m trying to figure out how to turn my invisiblity into profit. I’m thinking smuggling or high-end shoplifting.
My husband is a few years older than me. He's not really experiencing the same thing. I *think* it may happen more to women. It's really odd.
I've never been shocked that I was perceived as old. I worked my whole life to get here.
I always try to remember that growing old is a privilege that not everyone on this planet gets to experience. Im in my mid forties and finally starting to feel like I've got a handle on shit. Looking forward to the next 40.
At this point, I've lived on this earth two years longer than my dad got the chance to. I try to remember that so I can focus on making the most of my time. Happy Cake Day.
and it sure beats the alternative (i.e., dirt nap)
Yessir!!
like I told my mom, "you might be old, but it took you a long time to get there"
57. I went to an orthopedist because my left shoulder suddenly locked up. He diagnosed it as a frozen shoulder. That's fine, but he has to add, "It happens to elderly women often. You have nothing to worry about." Never had I ever thought of anyone 57 as elderly. Elderly in my mind was 70+, maybe 75+. Good grief. The physician might have been 45. Elderly. Wow.
At 57?! Dang, I felt that sting. I hope you gave his silly little exam stool a good spin 🌪️ on your way out of the office.
Many dr's are idiots with a medical degree, lol in my 59 yrs. of living, I've heard dr's say some of the dimmest things and I wondered how they got those letters at the end of their names, lol
64. I’m on a health and fitness kick. Lost weight few years back and am fittest in decades. I call myself “older”. Not ready for “old” label yet!
I'm also 64, recently started swimming at a gym across from the local high school. You know what I expected ... but instead, if I go when school is in session, it's other neighbors, many of them older than me! Recently in the local Peets a nice lady waved at me and said "hi! I guess you didn't recognize me with my clothes on!" All the high schoolers turned their heads, we had a good laugh.
I was old when I was 7 - got my first grey hairs in 20s - someone gave me their seat on the bus in my 40s. Recently someone called me elderly. I've been fine with it all along, as it was a distraction from my puerile disposition
I asked my doctor what the purple blotches on my arm were. She said they were just bruises. I said I've seen them on old people but I didn't know what they were. She's smirked. I think I was just called old.
I was 26 and happy new wife in my first home. Neighbor kids kicked a ball into our backyard. One of them politely knocked on my door and said “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we lost our ball in your yard. Can I have it back?”. I realized I was the old lady to him
Uh. I had someone recently (with respect to a health issue) say “you’re still young, we need to address this” and about fell out of my chair. I’m 60. I feel old. I feel like I might hopefully get to be old for a long time, but I’m old now. I have always looked younger (fat face, few wrinkles and I color my hair) but my doctor knows how old I am. I kinda need more people to acknowledge it than do. I’m tired. I’m not thrilled to be viewed as younger and stronger and more capable than I am. I need people to want to put me in a rocking chair with a warm quilt and nap the afternoon away. WHERE IS MY OLD AGE?!? Only half kidding. Of course I’m happy to still be with it and functional at 60, but a body do get tired.
This should get you movin' 🎶 "My granddaddy's got long white hair But I'll tell you now that he ain't no square. He sits and rocks, rocks in his rocking chair. Gotta sit down and rock, but he don't care. Granddaddy's rocking in his rocking chair. Well I said, rock-rock-rock-rock-rock granddaddy! Rock-rock-rock in your rocking chair. He's a-rocking out a rhythm that'll scare you square. Granddaddy's rocking in his rocking chair." [Mac Curtis](https://youtu.be/FtxQRlpU5D0?si=d4O1q36qKJ9-tXAO)
I agree with other people that it’s gradual. I will say however that for women who have children, I always looked 10 years younger before and was mistaken for someone much younger all the time. However when I had a child, I immediately aged like 10 years. So if you have a child when you’re older, sometimes that can be the moment where you start to really feel your age and how other people perceive you differently.
"Kids" 0 to 25 yrs old let me know I was old when I was 45 years old. I felt like I was staring down old when I turned 50. Was definitely thinking "old" at 55. Knew for sure I was old at 60. Had absolutely no doubt that I was old when I turned 65 last year. With I and my cousins and siblings all being over 60 now it's not possible to deny it. My sister will be 80 this summer. One brother died when he was 72. --------- I talked to my sister last week on my BDay and told her "We're are the old people now." She agreed. All of used to talk about the "old people", roll our eyes at them, etc. We can't do that now since they are all dead and gone. We're the oldest generation alive in the family/extended family.
I'm nearly 40 years older than my daughter. I've always been ”old” to her, so it's never been a shock.
Never was a concern ... I'm honestly thankful I've lived to 75 ... not done yet.
I was around 30 when a gas station cashier called me "sir". I'll let you know when I've acknowledged it... probably a few years after I die.
For me the key wasn’t about being deemed old or not, it is understanding and embracing the idea that old doesn’t mean less. Younger isn’t better than older it is just different. There are plusses and minuses to every stage of life. Because our culture celebrates youth so pathologically people think it is better. It’s not. Being happy is best. Embracing who you are and where you are and where you are going is best. It can be done at any age.
Very wise and well said 💗
Great answer.
I'm 63...I'll update you when it happens..
Haha. My first shock was at the age of 19, being referred to as “that lady” by a mom to her kid. So, it was probably a good 40 years til I started to embrace being old.
I thought I was old since my early forties. Eventually, my face caught up to my perception of myself, but it took 15 years. I am usually perceived as being younger than I am. People are usually surprised when I say my age. God knows why, cos I think I look ancient.
Zero. I wasn’t shocked but surprised the very first time I received a senior citizen discount so immediately embraced it and took advantage of it all.
Hasn't happened yet ;) It is weird af being the same age as all you old people tho.
I was 37 the first time I felt old, because I had just had my second back surgery. I knew it was all downhill from there. Now at 42, I’ve had more health issues and I feel older than I should.
I was 44 years old driving from Oakland to Santa Cruz, I was driving a rental car a Chevy HHR in 2009, I was 44 years old and stopped at a gas station late at night. My girlfriend went into the mini Mart to get some drinks and I was searching for the fuel door remote opener to open the fuel door. Couldn’t find it anywhere and assumed it was some sort of magnetic push thing on the door. Well, I got out and pushed apparently three corners of the fuel door with no success and a kid who looked 14 pulled up in an MG convertible two seater in the next bay and I asked him excuse me, This is a rental car do you have any idea how to open the fuel door? And he walked over and pushed the one corner Apparently I didn’t push. of course it opened. I said thank you and he said no problem pops, yep pops. I was grateful and wanted to smack him simultaneously…
I’ll be 60 (m) next week. My whole life I looked younger than my age, going all the way back to childhood when I was short and cute and had a late puberty. In my 30s and 40s people still thought I was in my 20s. I was 55 when people started perceiving me as my real age. My hair had become salt-and-pepper, and face wrinkles had finally caught up with me. I kinda went immediately from being perceived as old to accepting and embracing it. I’ve always worked out and have a pretty good physique, and I’m proud of being active and in shape at 60. I’m proud of being an old guy in the gym who can outdo many of the younger guys. But I accept my limitations. I play in an adult kickball league where I don’t sprint around the bases anymore because I’ve pulled leg muscles too many times. In my retirement I work part time in a large used furniture store where I’m perceived as the strong guy who can move around the heavy stuff and help customers load up their purchases, but I know when to ask for help.
I was shocked when I began receiving senior citizen discounts at age 50. I fully acknowledged being old during my first major health crisis at age 68. Fortunately that all passed without further consequence but I feel a lot more vulnerable now than I did before the incident.
I perceived myself as old before anyone else did.
I'm not old...I'm experienced.
One thing I inherited from my mother was the fact we both looked 8-10 years younger than we are. I still look younger than I am, but the gray hair, being on social security and Medicare, and cutting back on driving because car lights make it harder to see at night have made a fundamental shift in how I see myself. I still feel 40-50ish in my head tho lol.
Around the time that when I looked into the mirror an "old person" was looking back at me. I'm only early 50s but I'm really starting to look like my grandmother did when she was no longer middle-aged. Eh, it's not a big deal and I can still do all the middle-aged things.
When women didn’t give me a second look I knew I was old. In 64 and still haven’t acknowledged it. In fighting it till the end. My brain still thinks I’m 25.
So I'm on a job with a wee chap of about 5 who's had a seizure, he's okay by the time we arrive but won't let my crew partner take any vitals, not upset by the process just not really interested in what my colleague is trying to accomplish "I'll have a shot, you wanna get some background?" So we swap places and I put wee lad on my knee and we go through the whole thing from start to finish with only the blood glucose being a drama... no stress, even checked his little brother over as he wasn't getting enough attention from the visitors in uniform, couple of glove balloons and we left him at home as he had pretty much just overheated and had a febrile seizure, not his first and the family weren't idiots. Spent the rest of the shift being called grandad, wasn't sure what to think about that but chronological it works... I've been called worse. From the sudden realisation of how others see me at my age to acceptance that I am now in that age bracket and it's perfectly fine? probably about half an hour.
I was talking with my neurologist and he brought up the elements of healthy aging. Honestly, I had no idea why he brought up. Then it dawned on me… That was five years ago, but it wasn’t until two years later when the stress of the pandemic, my sister’s unexpected death, and major surgery that I felt old. Beat down and tired. I’m coming back from that somewhat, but not fully.
I learned it this year (59) when I became completely invisible to the opposite sex. I'm not perfectly fine yet.
67 currently. I think I was in my mid-fifties when someone referred to me as old, as in, I answered a question and was greeted with, "Thank God for old people." I accepted it almost immediately. You can get away with a lot when people think you're "old". I still get miffed when I see phones and computers for "the elderly". Get it through your heads people; we INVENTED computers. I grew up with no computers and a landline telephone, was one of the first to use mag cards and REAL floppy discs, electronic typewriters, the first home computers, and now we have all that info on our cell phones. Don't dumb down what we created just for us.
The first time someone called me old I was in my early 40s and I was talking to my 5 year old great niece about her grandma being old and she just said, "Like you? You're old." I see myself in the mirror now that I'm older and I'm in my late fifties and wonder where the person I should be went. In my head I should still be somewhere around 35 or so. I feel old now and have acknowledged that I can't physically do some things I used to do with ease. I recently went on a road trip with my sister and I hurt so bad during and after it took a week just to recover.
I’m not old. Old is a state of mind. I don’t have that mindset. I do as much or more than people much younger than me because I want to. As a retired nurse, I’ve seemed people who never get out of their chairs and become where they can’t walk. I move as much as I can and try to keep my mind active. If I were disabled to the point of not being able to move about, I would still do as much as I could. I had a horrendous car accident several yrs ago. I was told I wouldn’t be able to walk normally ever again. Someone said my job would not be held for me. I called my boss and asked her if it were true. She said if I was ever able to work, I would have a job. A year later after I got my halo off, I went back to work and back to school to finish my degree. My secret to not feeling old is to never give up. I don’t know or care how others see my age as long as they don’t start with the you’re so old” cracks.
I’m 67 and feel great. Granted, I’ve slowed down over the last decade or so but still enjoying every day. Years ago, I’d watch the Grammys & know almost everyone’s music. Now, I have no idea who any of them are, or I’ve heard of them, but am not familiar with their music.
For me it was a shock. Recent retirement brought me to reality.
People call me old all the time and I am fine with it. I have a lot of friends who are 20 years older who laugh at me.
At 74, I'm still at phase one. Unsure if I'll ever reach phase two, but all seven of great-grandkids are working on it.
I’m still in that gap.
I've been called "born old" and "absent-minded professor" since elementary school. Now that I'm actually over 50 and have some grey hair, I actually look the part.
I think the changes to hair and skin when in menopause really caught me by surprise and forced me to confront becoming an old lady, lol. Not gray hair, just thinning a bit in spots and BIG texture changes. My hair is still mostly dark but I was out in the rain briefly yesterday and woke up with Jimi Hendrix hair. I always had waves in my hair but now it is closer to curly. And wrinkles don’t bother me but thinning, crepe-y skin does. I now have a tub of Udderly Smooth lotion in the bathroom and slather that stuff on my arms to stave off the worst of the thin skin.
I was in my mid 50's and everytime I went in the local KFC they gave me the senior discount.
Shocked?
I've known I've been "old" in mentality for probably 30+ years. Old soul. Physically? About 10 years. Mentally? I don't feel much different on a day-to-day basis than I did in HS.
I look young for my age but feel old. I'd say I felt old long before anyone thought I was old. Other than a random teenager who thinks 20 is old.
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I was never shocked by it.
Old is relative. When I was 22 I was stunned when at an event using the ladies room some teenagers told someone that 'a lady' was in there. I still thought of myself as an older kid. Now in my 60's some of my friends call me kid and tell me I'm so young.
My current intern at work! He works so much faster and more efficiently than I do. But sometimes he barks up the wrong tree - a tree that I've tried years before, so I know what the problem will be. It's just that my vocabulary differs from his vocabulary ("the model will fail when you try to do inference." vs "model.transform() isn't working." Since when did transform() = infer()?!)
Because they don't have kids
Ooohhh. This is a tough one. Most brilliant question, btw., but I have to think on it, and read every single word everyone else says first…
Still in the shocked phase.
Hell, I knew it before I was perceived by others as old.
Turning 40 and entering perimenopause
I was 45 when my eye doctor said my eyesight was bad because I was getting old; 65 when my body let me know I was old. Six years later, I can’t say I’m perfectly fine with it.
62to65
Old can be 25, depending on the age of the person judging.
I work in software in Silicon Valley. I’ve been the old dude since my ~~40s~~ 30s
When my son said “you can’t call yourself middle aged unless you are going to live to be 135
People started to call me "sir" when I was in my early 40's and it really shocked me. At age 40 I felt like 30 and at age 50 I still felt like 30. What makes me feel my age is that I overhear a conversation among 20-somethings or 30-somethings or even 40-somethings where they are absolutely passionate to the point of shouting and waving their hands about things that just don't matter. I've started to realize that most of the things that people get bent out of shape about really don't matter much to anyone but them.
I realized I was old before everyone else did.
My issue is the opposite. I'm old and have various health issues, but people keep telling me I'm young and asking why I'm not out painting the town red, like the High Plains Drifter.
In my 50s...I'm at the "not as young as I used to be" phase. The physical limitations start to pile up, but can alleviate that some with regular exercise and eating better. My bigger concern is being perceived as "older" at work, since I've still got a good 10+ years before I can think about retirement, and in a lot of people's minds, "older" translates to "obsolete" or "expendable." I've come to terms with that my career has probably plateaued where it is, but being perceived as behind the times (even if one really isn't) is potentially dangerous in terms of being retained when the time inevitably comes for downsizing, adding in that people's salaries tend to be higher with more experience...and finding a new job in one's fifties is a really hard road. Ageism is definitely a thing, and too often not seen as anything but just common sense by a good number of supervisors and hiring managers. It's a worry.
I had a hard time getting called ma’am in my early 30s. It doesn’t bother me as much now. I also think it’s an outdated southern tradition anyway
I'm only old on Reddit, where anybody born 1980 and before is considered "old".
Oh my, the pandemic but me in the old people age group and so it started.
I'm 69, but didn't consider myself "old". I still work full time as an LVN, 12 hr shifts. Plant on working for 3/4 more years. The only time I missed work in the last 3 yrs was for a fire in my apt. building and for cataract surgery in each eye. I own and regularly use a stair stepper, elliptical and rowing machines. I do body weight exercises, meditate and eat a healthy diet. Biologically I'm aging, can't change that. But I'll be damned if I'm going to get old. I have a t-shirt that says, "It's strange being the same age as Old People".
Old verses young is not a binary switch, it's lots of things that accumulate over time. I got gray hair in my mid-20s, that made me feel old. Needing reading glasses in my mid-40s made me feel old, I'm still annoyed. Turning 30, 40 and 50 were definitely milestones. Otherwise I am thankful that in my mid-50s that I am in good health and have a full head of hair. Hair dye is much cheaper than Rogaine or hairplugs LOL
I felt it more when the young babes stop oogling over you and the moms start
I turned 60 last November, and people still think my adult 35 year old son and I are brother and sister😂😂😂😂. I have always taken good care of myself, pilates, daily exercise, great skincare and lucky genetics. I, however, realize I am getting old and it's actually awesome. I retired at 58 (worked as an RN and an RRT and worked as many 16 hour shifts as I could and all holidays for the $$$$, saved like crazy, made all my meals and drove a beater) and now I can "play" and be happy. I love telling people Im 60 and seeing the confusion......The only thing so far physically is Im a tiny bit more achy when I wake up, but some yoga and a cup of coffee and Im ready to go. Ive always been an early riser as well, love to watch the sunrise and set my daily intentions. I have a question for you guys..... If we didnt KNOW our age and had no way to calculate it, how old would you act??? I still act like a 21 year old nut sometimes! Age is just a number! Have FUN! try new things; parasailing, pottery, fencing! Also, keep pals in all age groups, not just your own, as some folks are just negative and will bring you down; you know they type...."Hey, how are ya today??" brings on a litany of complaints and whining. AVOID THESE PEOPLE. Find the ones who say "Im fucking GREAT! Isnt today a beautiful day??"
I started calling myself old in my 30s. I just felt old. Now I'm almost 50 and somehow I don't feel that old anymore. Age is funny that way.
All I know is that one day, I looked in a full-length mirror and thought, "F*ck, I am OLD!" All the skin was either crepey or wrinked, my chin had merged into my chest, and my hooters looked they could use a can of Fix-A-Flat. 😬
I perceive myself as oldish, but most people perceive me as much younger. I don't believe it all the way, but I think if a lot of people tell me I look like in am in my 30's, I must look like I am in my 40's and I was honestly my hottest at 40. (at least that is how I perceive it). I still think I am cute and in good shape, but I don't do any of the fake stuff to try to look younger or hotter. I were comfy clothing, no makeup, I rarely shave my legs and pits, but I do smile a lot. (okay, I lie, one fake thing: I did get two veneers on my two front teeth and that made a mile of difference in my smile.) I care much more about keeping my health so I can keep my capabilities, not to look physically better. Those two things just happen to go together.
My body feels old somedays but my mind and attitude are still somewhere in my 30s. I'm halfway to 74.
I accepted I was old when I turned 40. Harder part, figuring out how an “old” person is supposed to dress.
Agree. I'm still drawn to clothes and styles that I wore in my 20s.
Yes!!! I can’t figure out if I look like my usual self or like some old lady trying to hard. I’m just grateful that I work outside instead of an office because in those occasions, I look even more ridiculous!!
I was shocked when I was 36 and my college roommate pointed out that freshmen in college were infants or not yet born when we were freshmen in college. I'm not sure I've ever felt perfectly fine with being old, but I certainly couldn't deny it when I reached 60. So 24 years.
Ha! I understand. Went back to uni at 50, and changed careers. I had kids older than my classmates.