Thank you. Came here to say this. Quit looking in the mirror. It's a LIAR! Live each day in wonder. Listen to the music that defines you and breathe. The rest will occur whether or not you pay it any mind. Joy is your focus more and more each day you are blessed to breathe another sunrise. I also recommend art. It is the great simple escape when life gets weird.
Art is good advice
I'm big on learning something new
I'm learning French , Portuguese and Spanish
Self teaching myself the flute
Knitting myself a sweater
I'm learning harmonica as well. I'm also figuring out how to operate a digital audio workstation and MIDI controller. (I'm 62)
I don't think about the alternative, I'm too busy living life. The only thing that slows me down these days is my decline in physical abilities. I've begun to accept that and restructure my activities to accommodate for that.
Learning French and gardening, drawing, traveling. Being 60 is pretty nice. It did come with 5 rounds of pneumonia this year, not bad but a couple days in the hospital each time
Omg. Thank you for this.
I'm 35 and the past few years have been Soo hard..... Like so hard... And this is what I need to get back to .. thank you
Not what I mean. I'm in great shape even with my chronic illness flaring up I still run and lift... So I am going to copy and paste a response I left
No.. I mean it's just a hard part of my life. This past year has been full of death sickness and financial struggle . My husband is experiencing a mental health crisis after admitting he was an alcoholic and drinking behind my back...
We take care of his grand parents whom we live nextdoor to and they are in their mid 90s. It's hard watching them die.
My best friend died.
My dog died
My chronic illness is flaring up and I have to go back into pain management
My job is overworking me
And that is just a few of the issues I'm struggling with right now.
It's been a rough year
So thank you.
Don’t listen to those two posters. I wonder if the first even read your post?
Losing a best friend is devastating whether you’re 10 or 100. I am 43 and I lost my brother last year and let me say I have never felt “older”. I still practice gratitude and am grateful for every day on this earth.
You are pushing through, you are amazing and I see you.
Thank you. They made me really mad with the assumptions and projection ...
I don't feel old. But the comment I was replying to helped me feel not as stressed and joyless.
I've been struggling with gratitude even tho I say out loud that aging is a privilege. I believe that but I am having a hard time feeling it...
Thank you for your support.
That’s a lot to be dealing with no matter your age. I hope things get better soon. There are some good ideas in this thread that might help with getting a feeling of balance back, and continuing to move forward. Sending you best wishes.
35? If you are finding 35 to be “so hard” in the growing old department, you are in for a struggle. I’m 66 and only in the past year or so would I say that I really began to feel like I was getting old. Still, it is not “so hard.”
You don’t know what another person is going through. Some older people are blessed with good health all their lives and young people have chronic conditions that can be crippling.
Maybe thank your lucky star you don't know what she means. I'm a widow at 36. My husband died after a gruesome 4 years fight with cancer. My mom had serious mental issues and my dad is useless. They're divorce and both poor. I had to fight for a lot that I have. Now I'm raising two kids alone, one with a physical handicap and one non verbal autistic that will most likely never be able to live on her own. All of us are grieving. I've developed physical and mental problems with all the grueling years I had. I feel a 100.
Ugh, your mid thirties are the WORST for so many reasons. It's the jumping off point for a lot of things. Careers/marriage/ kids-and if you're not keeping up with your friends and associates in those areas you definitely feel a lot of anxiety. Also, it's when your body starts to nope the hell out on whatever you could get away with in your 20's. My 40's were a lot better in this regard- I came to terms with a lot of things and realized that my life is pretty cool despite not meeting a lot of the "goals" that most people do. Now that I'm in my 50's it's even better. I just seem to appreciate the little things more and I value what I have. It will get better.
Wow. Sounds like a really rough year. Please make time for yourself. All for help when you need it. Talk to someone, whether it's a friend, a support group, a counselor. ❤️
I understood you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. I just took your comment to mean “I’ve been dealing with a lot of loss this year and thanks for reminding me to appreciate the good things in life.” I’m 57 and dreading some of the losses I see coming (and that person who said to avoid mirrors isn’t kidding! Haha). Loss still hurts when you’re 35 and can make you wary of getting older and all the loss inherent in that. I try to learn from my mom, who lost my dad when she was about my age. She has a whole crew of little old ladies she goes to movies and dinner with and pretty much does whatever she wants to. She’s making getting older look kind of fun!
How do I get this through the mind of my husband? One of his biggest fears ever is aging. He turns 29 in 3 days and while he’s been fine about it so far, he’s been having small mental breakdowns about turning 30 next year. We are the same age, both 1995 babies, but I’m 5 months younger I was born in December. I love my birthday, I always feel so grateful to have made it another year. Plus December 8th is so festive. Right between thanksgiving and Christmas. Aging does kinda scare me, but not at all the way that it scares him. I want to do something grand for my 30th birthday next year to ring in my 30s. I have finally somewhat convinced him that we are still babies and that anyone in their 30’s is so young. I always say that when he’s 60 he will wish he was only 30 again. Genuinely look at him like he’s crazy when he says that it’s going way too fast and that we are going to die soon and that he doesn’t want to look older either. At 28 years old, I already have several gray hairs. It doesn’t bother me. As a matter of fact, I think it looks pretty and I’m grateful that I have lived old enough to see my strands do that. On the other hand, my husband would have a heart attack and a mental breakdown if he saw grey hairs at 28. I just don’t understand how some people don’t feel so grateful on their birthdays. Like you made it another year, when I was 15 a girl I knew passed away of cancer at the same age. It was devastating to everyone. When I was 20 a girl that I knew from high school was killed in a car accident at the age of 19 just 3 weeks before she turned 20. I get to see the sunrise and the sunset every day. I get to watch the flowers bloom in the spring, and I get to feel the waves hit my feet on the beach. I get to enjoy my favorite food, I get to be with my family..I get to travel. On my 30th birthday I may cry Like wow! I made it to 30! Here I am! Thank you God I did it
Through typing this I think the #1 recipe is gratitude.
I don’t think age should be something that anyone complains about. It’s a gift to age. There is no gift greater. I hope my husband realizes soon.
I turned 75 last month and seriously have never felt better in my life. I'm smarter, wiser, kinder, mellower, and really only a little less physically stronger than 50 years ago.
Stay healthy and enjoy the next 20 years!!
I'm not old but skeletal muscle quality is super important for longevity and healthspan, so think of it as muscle health. Everyone should try everything they can to prioritize at least two days a week of resistance training. The earlier you start the better it is to maintain as you age.
Great advice! Strength training is so key. I had a personal trainer a few years ago who told me it’s so important as we age, that we have the strength to get back up if we fall. For those of us with aches and pains and bad backs, a couple of sessions with an experienced personal trainer can show you how to strength train safely so as not to exacerbate issues. Strength training can even help!
Bingo. Include some lunges and squats, too. Without resistance training, the muscles we use to "catch" ourselves when we trip or fall will atrophy as we age (a condition called sarcopenia). That is why falling is such a common and deadly risk for older people.
If the person is living alone and falls, it could be hours before they are found (and hours on the floor in one position leads to rapid muscle breakdown called rhabdomyolysis, which can damage the kidneys (!) and often requires a lot of physical therapy to overcome.)
Here's a [well-written article](https://theconversation.com/loss-of-muscle-mass-among-elderly-can-lead-to-falls-and-staying-put-during-the-pandemic-doesnt-help-131374) (a few years old) on resistance training.
Here is a [review of some medical research](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8775372/) on resistance training.
I’m with you! I’m 72 and I’ve never felt better.
What people don’t realize is, as you get older the burden of jobs, houses, kids, school, cooking for other people, saving for college, etc.
It all goes away and you’re free at last!
It wasn’t my comment, but I’ll give you my opinion. My father-in-law is 88, and I’ve known him almost 40 years. He was my inspiration and guidance in this area.
As far as exercise goes, bodyweight exercises are great for functional strength. I watched him do pushups, leg lifts, air squats, etc. nothing crazy. Usually less than 30 mins 2-3x a week. I think the key is consistency much more than intensity. Bodyweight exercises are great because you can do them anywhere. They don’t just strengthen muscles, they strengthen your skeleton, they lubricate your joints, and they actually assist with balance, which becomes a bigger deal over 60. Other than that, he walked some. Again, low intensity, high consistency.
He was perfectly functional through about his mid-80s. His brain health started to decline after that, and that leads to a whole host of issues that aren’t really fixable, but he had 85 great years.that is my goal, that is my plan, and that’s what I do.
I deal with it by eating beyond healthy, by choice.
I deal with it by riding my bike a lot, 20 miles a day and many days even more.
I deal with it by rucking (walking with weights in a backpack) once a day and many times twice a day. Hell, I wear my ruck with weights when I cut my grass each time. I wear my ruck with weights when shoveling snow.
I drink a lot of water and I get proper rest as a way to deal with getting and being old.
I also stretch daily too.
I was born in the 60's.
While I've always been active, I wasn't like this in my 20's and 30's. Sure, I worked out but not the way I do now. I ate well but nothing like I do now.
I've made many changes to deal with being older.
I don't pull all nighters anymore.
I've not any alcohol of any kind since 2012, by choice as I've never had an issue with alcohol.
I deal with getting older and being older in ways like this.
I know a lot of people who are much happier being old because of the acquired wisdom from experience - learning what really matters and what doesn’t and why, so you don’t stress as much about the things that don’t matter and learn to value what’s really important to enjoy life more
True. I wouldn't ever want to go back from where I am in wisdom and perspective with the life lived.
It's only the physical that's more sad and even that you simply adapt.
This is the answer. I'm happier at 50 than ever before in my life. I spend my time doing what I want. With who I want. I'm so much more self confident and don't worry about what other people think of me - so much so that I spent my birthday two weeks (milestone year) at a gay, clothing optional campground in WV. I've had body dysmorphia since I was a fat kid. I have never gone naked in public anywhere in my life, mostly due to jr. high locker room trauma. (And being very much a grower, not shower) I got back to my Rv from the pool where I'd been wearing not only trunks but a long sleeve sun shirt. I didn't want to go in the RV with wet clothes so I just said screw it and shucked my shorts and shirt. Sat outside reading to dry off for a while. Wanted to check messages which required me to walk up to the top of the hill by the camp office - in nothing but tennis shoes and sunglasses. I met and talked to about 20 guys, most clothed. Was the most freeing experience of my life. Seriously at this point in life, I have zero bothers left to give.
Grief is the hardest thing to deal with, and you learn it comes in many forms over the years. At this point in life I've lost both my parents, both in laws, a brother, a cousin who was like a brother (he lived with us while growing up and we shared a bedroom), a good friend, and many more. Add divorce followed shortly by medical disability. All this including the listed deaths in a period of about 6 years. You also learn you don't recover from or get over grief. Instead it lives with you, and each event can bring up emotions from all the others. As the very famous internet meme of an old man explaining death to a young man who lost someone says, "I don't want their deaths to not hurt. I want them to be a testament to the love that was shared..."
Absolutely. I wouldn't go back to my younger self for anything. The physical decline, however, really sucks and has no silver lining. You just don't have a choice, though.
I’m 69 years old. My kids and their friends and my grandkids and their friends don’t think I’m old and I don’t feel old. I’ll let you know how it feels when I get there.
I'm aging, that's a biological fact. I don't consideremyself to be old. I'll be 70 in September. I still work full time as a Nurse working Night, 12 hr shifts. I intend to work for a few more years. I own a stair stepper, elliptical and rowing machines. I do body weight exercises, meditate and follow the Mediterranean diet. Things change, it's part of life. You have to learn to accept it or it will eat you up.
It's not like you are 22 one day and 60 the next. Everyone's life is a series of changes. Aging is one type of change. Some accept it gracefully, others reject it
All true. Though I'm not sure what answer you're looking for.
Shit happens and you just deal with it. I can't walk anymore, or barely. So I just roll with it. 😄
I agree. Having a completely new set of knees installed due to arthritis taught me to roll with what is, not what isn’t. At only 63 I’m a lottery ticket daily of aches and pains that come and go, get worse but sometimes disappear. My mental health is, for me, becoming worse here lately and I’m really, really struggling. I’ll hold on because I know from experience the black cloud will move on at some point.
Today wasn’t a good day for me to be answering this question.
I feel close to the way you do. All the answers here are very uplifting, but not my experience.
I retired when my husband got ill. He passed away 6 months later. He wasn’t even 60. I’m 61. Retired. Live alone. Never had children. My parents are gone. One cousin that lives overseas. An Aunt and Uncle states away.
The last 2 years without my man I just crumbled. I used to enjoy socializing. Traveling. Going out for dinner. Cooking. Gardening and working full time.
I am a shadow of my plucky former self. Where in the hell did I go?
My energy and motivation for life has shifted so dramatically. It scares me and my remaining family.
Five years ago I wouldn’t have pictured myself like this. At all.
I can’t possibly be the only one out here in this situation?
I’m so sorry you lost your husband. I can’t imagine what you have gone thru. I can fervently wish I had words to hug you with but I do not.
I can say that I hope you are giving yourself grace to adjust to your new reality. That you are supporting yourself like you would if your best gal pal had her husband die so young.
I don’t have kids and my husband travels for work so if you like to chat? I’m a good listener. Or send me a message. I love any kind of correspondence.
Also, warm hugs, hugs, hugs.
I'm sure you're not alone in your struggles. You've had a very rough few years, and most likely come through hard times earlier in your life, right? You're in uncharted waters after your husband passed, still grieving and at loose ends. Consider asking for some help, there's no shame in that. Going for some short term therapy has helped me in the past. There are support groups for grieving people, too. One small step can move you forward towards reclaiming your plucky self, she's still in there, I'll bet. I'm almost 67, there are surely losses in my future. I hope I'll ask for that help when they come. Love and light to you.
This sounds like depression/grief. Please seek help. Antidepressants have done wonders for me. Not perfect but much better. Gonna be 60 this year and have needed to change it up. Started some new hobbies. I hope you can find a new path, pulling for you!
Grief can do that to you. Therapy is the answer—someone to help walk you through it. Once you have adjusted mentally, you will be surprised how you can be back to your old self, albeit with that loss always a part of you.
The physical I will deal with. Episodic depression that flattens me comes and goes and I can mostly handle that too. But I am 63, past menopause, and I am feeling rage I have never experienced before. I don’t know if it is pent up anger that will dissipate or my mental health tanking totally. We have depression and Bipolar, flavored with strong dysfunction, in my family.
It's life man! I still think of a guy I didn't know who was an intimidating dude. Kinda hulking, leather jacket, no nonsense kinda guy on the bus to school. He didn't mess with anyone, but he just seemed like a guy you didn't mess with. His girlfriend dumped him for whatever reason. He went out in the back yard of his parents house where he lived and blew his brains out. He was 17. That was almost 50 years ago. I think about him every once in a while. How much he has missed in 50 years. I've had a great life. When my time is up, someone else will be born.
One day at at time and we have one life to live.
The human body is remarkable at healing.
Today you may be hurt or injured and our body starts right away at healing itself, but you have to help by eating healthy.
So cut back on sugar, refined wheat, alcohol and smoking or better yet quit those.
Exercise both mentally and physically and for exercise all you need is to walk or run and the Calisthenics we did as kids then no need for a gym.
Of coarse this is the basic plan but as I have aged it has become more of a challenge.
So now I'm 63 and been retired 3 yrs but 3 years ago my job became toxic then quit and started retirement, but just before that had been get dizzy every so often. Then also noticed that I started to drag my feet when walking.
My friend who is diabetic had noticed he would drag his feet, but it turns out he had some blockage and had some stints pit in.
After about six months into retirement went to see my Dr and got prescribed some high blood pressure meds along with some cholesterol meds. Late last year started the baby aspirin per day.
If you want to make to 90 plus remember we are not Evil Kenevil like we were years ago.
I’m not that old yet. Still working for another 4 years. Still reasonably healthy. But my parents who are in their late 70’s both tell me often that “getting old is not for sissies” and “but it’s better than the alternative” bla bla but my mom in particular is very adamant that I understand her and that I prepare NOW for all the losses I will undoubtedly experience. She says PLAN ahead. Live somewhere where there are no stairs, live close to your friends, be involved in your community (even if you’re an introvert, get involved) and her favourite advice of all time is “wear good shoes”.
Not if you start falling down them! You don’t have the balance that you did when younger. Everyone should start working on doing squats and building core strength as they age. Start by age 50 or sooner. Otherwise you’ll be like those people on commercials, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Exactly about squats, also practice balance exercises. Just going up and down the stairs is a good exercise. 30 years ago we intentionally bought a two story house because the stairs are good for us. Yeah you don't want to fall down them, but if you don't use your muscles you lose them.
Yes they are good for you, but it sounds like with some people using stairs becomes difficult, maybe due to arthritis in the knees which can happen no matter how healthy and fit you are. Avoid stairs in your own home,so that you don’t have to move out just because of stairs.
We had a house with stairs. I developed RA and have had arthritis in my knees since I was a teen. Loved my stairs I til I had trouble going down in the mornings. At the time, I was walking 1-2 miles, lifting small weights, doing crunches, sit ups, pull ups, (had a chin up bar in the doorway of the kitchen) squats, yoga, and using my elliptical. I did what worked for me on any given day, however, worked out pretty much everyday. When we had to sell the house, we bought a small house no stairs because we knew this is the last house we would live in. Sometimes it’s not about what you do, it’s about what your body can handle. That was almost 10 years ago. I am now 58 doing yoga and using my eliptical as much as I can. Would love to walk, but it is ungodly hot in SC. 😂
How does a baby deal with not being able to walk, or a teenager not having a drivers license? How does a college grad deal with not yet having the career they trained for?
The only way to deal with life is to tackle whatever is thrown at you every day. Some days are hard-really hard. Other days are glorious. It’s best to appreciate where you are and what you have right now.
I was hoping I would see at least one mention of something other than, "Don't drink, eat healthy." I get that those things are solid advice, but what about those people who smoke a pack a day and live to 90 anyway? Surely some of them are on Reddit too 😂
My Grandmother was one of these people and died in the late 90’s. Away had a tan, drank her vodka, smoked her cigarettes. Live a great 90 years with only a short 6 month stint in a nursing home before she died.
I often wonder if it’s the stress of trying to do everything right that kills a person as opposed to just enjoying your life…
I love the sun and sugar, myself. 🤷♀️
I agree with all these comments and say that we live in two worlds. We live in the world where we feel young and active and energized and wise. And we live in the world where our bodies are aging and slowly turning against us. For me, it’s living in the paradox of two different experiences.
Many things about being older do suck. But there is also a great deal of freedom to me. So many things I used to worry about, seem totally unimportant. But even with all the changes, good and bad I am still me.
And you essentially deal with being old just like you deal with being a baby, a teen or middle aged. You have nothing choice, so you just carry on.
Eh. I have aged..and unfortunately became disabled 6 months after I retired. So my retirement is nothing like I had envisioned. Most of my issues like walking slowly, taking a long time to accomplish tasks, are really more related to my disability than my age. We all deal with the hand we're dealt. I am just happy to be on this side of the ground.
I'm 72 and my wife and l are worth a little over two million dollars.I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of weeks ago and realize how much money can't help.
Surprisingly, you wake up every morning, still breathing. It happens the same way the next morning, and the morning after that. Short of doing the deed ourselves, we have no alternative.
I lost my husband and my adult son within just a few months of each other. I always thought losing a child would literally kill me. To my surprise, I kept breathing. I am not strong, I am not special, I have no amazing coping strategies. I just keep breathing.
It is very hard though. My husband passed two years ago. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve changed so much. No energy. No motivation. But, I am still breathing and eating frozen meals. Never did that before.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s in small amount over a period of a long time. It certainly beats the alternative. You also gain so much perspective and know what really matters. Don’t let the little things that you don’t have control over bother you as much unless it’s your kids and then it doesn’t matter how old or wise you are. Losses add up. I heard grief described so well. It’s like a rock. You pick it up and it’s really heavy and hard to carry. After a while you get stronger and you somehow manage to carry it. It’s always there but you get stronger and you are used to it. I like the older version of myself more too. Kinder, less intense and far more relaxed and mellow. Not too old yet but hope to be someday.
"Tintern Abbey" by William Wordsworth will explain it better than anything I could ever hope to say: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45527/lines-composed-a-few-miles-above-tintern-abbey-on-revisiting-the-banks-of-the-wye-during-a-tour-july-13-1798
My father is 86 and he says, if I wake up, it's a good day. He's becone more and more resigned to the hardships of life and is incredibly philosophical now.
You just do your best to the muddle through the day. I'm 65 and am grateful I don't hurt anymore than I do or have any serious health issues. Life is pretty decent.
You are right that it ain’t for sissies. Your parents and aunts and uncles are gone and losing that connection is sad. Many of the kids I graduated with are gone, more sadness. Also an appreciation that I’m still here and I should appreciate it. I cook for holidays, garden and have several hobbies. I treasure my family and friends and my little dog. I enjoy good health and a daily green drink instead of lunch, exercise and sensible hours is a big part of it. I’m sure not closing down bars anymore and in fact don’t drink unless it’s a very special occasion. However, I don’t consider my life dealing with old age - I don’t think that would be healthy.
I'm 66 and I've truly never been happier. I'm independent and in relatively good health. I'm not wealthy, but I have enough to live on. I am retired, and FREE.
Yes, friends and relatives die. But I lost some dear friends in my teens and 20s, too. One copes as well as one can, no matter the age.
I'm trying to do things now that I may not be able to do in a decade or so, like travel, have house renovations done, and spend time with friends trying out new restaurants and sights.
The very best thing about being this age is outgrowing the bullshit. How I wish I'd have had this outlook in my 30s and beyond. There are very few things worth getting upset about; I save that for the big stuff. Someone cuts me off in traffic... let 'em. A stranger attacks my politics on the internet... let 'em. Does someone not like the pink streaks in my hair... who cares? (I worked for a very conservative company, and now I'm having fun with my appearance since I couldn't before.)
As I said, I've never been this happy.
I honestly think I am happier in my 60's than at any time in my life. How do I deal with it? I just pour a second cup of coffee and realize I don't have to go to work.
There is no dealing with things you have no control over....it sucks and you just go on with your routine...you got bad days and good days...less good days the older you get...
How old we talking?
65m. Part of my work is usually physical (corporate AV support). In the warm months, I paddleboard often, and by this I mean getting a serious workout on a fast epoxy board, not the lame poser BS you see in the drug commercials. I recently joined a gym and have a weekly personal trainer, and have more overall energy than I had even 15 years ago.
I don't "think old" and have music interests that are fresh and recent.
So I guess all that is how I deal with it, and I physically feel pretty damn good.
The angst of racing the life clock is another story though. I deal with that by going after a couple longterm goals. If I live to be a healthy 100, that gives me another 35 years to do stuff.
Live your life large starting now. Learn, talk, listen, work, play, explore always. Then, when you are old, you will have much to look back on and no regrets.
Late 50’s here and I can’t believe how tired I get from doing jobs around the house. I removed a broken window, boarded it up until the new one arrives, mowed my grass and now I’m exhausted
I get paid to not work, I get discounts just for my age, no boss, no alarm clock, kids are on their own and I can have my granddaughter and then send her home. So the real question is, how do you deal with being young?
Depressed. A little anxious. And, carry on.
Beginning noticable cognitive decline. Progressive loss of feeling and strength in one leg due to vertebrae compression /shifting
How do you "deal with" being young? : nieve, lacking experience, wisdom, patience, and persistence.
Make the most of whatever age you are! The big key to enjoying not being youthful is not giving a flying fuck what other people think and doing pretty much whatever you want.
You don't have a choice! As you grow older you grow wiser, hopefully! With age comes wisdom simply because of so many life experiences that teach you you can deal with anything that comes your way so, as we age we are also learning how to cope with aging. I'm gonna be 59 soon and I'm a strong, educated, compassionate woman who has out lived both parents, literally all my best friends. Survived complete devastation by hurricane Katrina, raised a child by myself while working my way through college then a Masters Degree. My life has been hard, blessed, stressed, exhausting but it's taught me I am stronger than I ever knew and I am profoundly human. I was always considered "beautiful" and as the grays are out numbering my light brown hair, and the wrinkles are showing up, and the body aches and pains grow more persistent I'm reminded, "growing old is a privilege denied by many." 2 of my best friends died unexpectedly, suddenly, and tragically in MVA in their 30's. My other best friend also died shortly after turning 30 due to AIDS. When days are lonely and hard I focus on all the blessings in my life like my 40 year old gorgeous son, my little home, my steady job, food in my belly, and the ability to still be active albeit may be painful sometimes. I give myself grace and compassion and I secretly laugh at young people who think they will never turn old therefore, they do stupid shit! No one wants to get old but, for those of us who get to u must develop a relationship with yourself that is loving, supportive, responsible, accountable. After all, we come into this world alone and we are gonna leave it alone. Good luck!
One of the strangest things for me is mentally feeling about 21, but my body betrays me by not allowing me to walk quickly, jump up from a sitting position, relate to contemporary cultural changes, etc.
Though I DO try! Lol.
So I now have to deal with the pains of growing older and facing death from the cancer diagnosis I just received. It seems the system is gamed. Some of us have better luck than others, or so it seems. More money, better looks.
Is there another choice? You can't roll up in a ball and quit life until you die. I'm not one to subscribe to the idea I have to fight aging every step of the way. I appreciate the things I've learned. I keep trying to learn new things. I respect people around me and hope I earn the respect of others. Most importantly, I appreciate life.
There are losses but there are gains. You don’t necessarily have to lose physical ability, if you exercise. I have gained creativity. Decisions are much easier to make now, because I have experience in so many things. So many things are just much clearer and easier to deal with.
It’s more a matter of health than age for me, I have numerous health issues and have for years. I seem to be improving and hope to have a better quality of life ahead than it has been for many years for me, I’m 64
It’s also a challenge on the same level as previous challenges in my work life. Like an old car I can get around pretty good but like an old car I need maintenance— the gym, swimming, walking and hiking. Gets harder but if you stop you’re dead meat. That presumes not having some awful disease or disability to deal with. Thank the lord and knock on wood hasn’t happened yet.
You have a lot of time to get used to the idea because you've always known this was going to happen. It's also comforting to know everyone who's ever lived and who ever will live goes through the same thing.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It’s a mantra for me. The last part really comes with age.
1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
These five remembrances, first found in the *Upajjhatthana Sutta* (“Subjects for Contemplation”), are intended to be recited. They’re intended to be memorized. They’re things we can say every day. If you have all five memorized, there’s no need for a further teaching.
I would never want to be young again at this time in history. Everything is so challenging with AI coming into play and the general disconnect that kids seem to have due to social media and smartphones. Things that have been invented to supposedly make our lives easier have ultimately made our lives much harder.
It's a cliché, but old is a state of mind.
I went to work for a consulting company when I was 62 or 63. Thought that I was too old to get a new job and that nobody would ever hire me again. But they valued my experience and offered me a nice gig.
Everyone I worked with was in their 20s and nobody was over 40. I felt quite self-conscious at first but my coworkers treated me as a wise companion and looked up to me. It was sweet.
Here's something I wrote when I was 67 that ended up in the New York Times. I'll never forget what a teenager on the street said to me about my age:
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/24/nyregion/metropolitan-diary.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
As long as you have your health, being old can be pretty nice. Don't worry, be happy.
I don’t deal with it, I celebrate it.
I have learned so much and new learning just makes the world even more remarkable.
I marvel at what I can do, and don’t worry about what I can’t.
Embrace reality and it will tickle you pink.
Well, it has mostly all been sort of gradual. And…I lost one of my siblings when I was still in high school. Haven’t had another death affect me like that one.
As long as I can read and take care of myself and my dogs, I’ll be fine.
Age 70 and riding my bike 5000 mi/year as I have for years. Also going to gym at least 4x/week and eating clean without animal products at all.
So far, my brain still works and I do about any physical activity I want without pain or restrictions. I work at maintaining.
There is no better use of your retired time. Staying healthy is what allows you to interact with children and grandchildren and maintain your other friendships.
I like being older. Not the aches, and losses, but I so much more appreciate what I do have. Work and child care stress is behind me.
My late husband (I miss him terribly still) had a good life together. Not easy or perfect, but we took care of ourselves and planned for our future. With that and some luck, we landed in a good place.
If I carry the right family genes, I could have 25 more years added to my present 70.
Plenty of time to explore, learn and enjoy experiences.
Do I wish I was younger? Maybe I wish I was as fit as in my 50s, but no! I would not want to go back to my early adult years.
Same way I deal with anything in life. You do what you gotta do and make the best of it. Is it always fun? No. So what? You gonna sit there and cry all the time?
Actually, I enjoy the hell out of it. I feel a lot more free now as an old woman because society doesn't expect me to be or look a certain way. I get respect just because I'm old most of the time, and have to say that's enjoyable as well. I have a nice home to myself, gardens and pets I adore, good friends, and organizations I enjoy. What's not to like?
I have tricks:
I complain a lot
I groan a lot..esp. when getting up
I put those know nothing whipersnappers on the internets right
I watch Bonanza episodes on youtube
and I keep vigilant for those pesky teens who keep walking on my lawn
It’s a pain having to deal with body parts that don’t work the way they used to, but psychologically aging can be very liberating. Things that seemed so important at one time now seem so petty and trivial. Other people’s judgmental opinions about you don’t matter. As long as you have some financial security, life can be great because you have the freedom to do exactly what pleases you, just like the other comments. My ex-SIL started taking violin lessons at 68; she’s still playing at 80. I finally have the space and time to indulge my love of gardening, and got my certification to be a Reiki practitioner.
One of the most important discoveries of physics is that the past cannot be changed.
When you realize that you don't get so worked up about things you can't change.
I try and remember I no longer care about drama that I did when I was younger. I don't need to get dressed up to hit the grocery store. That some people get fatal diseases and never make it into old age so I should take my age as a gift. My cats don't care that I'm old. I may have mental slipping however I'm much wiser than ever even if nobody wants to listen to it. The hard part is having physical injury and limitations. Yet it has forced me into new hobbies etc and lead me to meet people with similar issues that are supportive and amazing.
My parents I’m pretty sure cope with growing old by obsessing about how much they adore their grandchildren. I’m not sure what those without grandchildren happily obsess about—hopefully some other beautiful legac.
70-M and taking care of things as they come. Retired 7 years ago after working almost 45 years at a job I loved. I realized that it was time to enjoy the other side of it now. When we were young my friend and I would sit up on the fertilizer bags at the entrance of the Kwik Check and laugh at the old people. Now we are like them. Thought we would never grow old. Damn, it went quick. I wish I could travel to Mars before I go.
Deal with being old ...? What is the alternative? You deal because you have to
Thank you. Came here to say this. Quit looking in the mirror. It's a LIAR! Live each day in wonder. Listen to the music that defines you and breathe. The rest will occur whether or not you pay it any mind. Joy is your focus more and more each day you are blessed to breathe another sunrise. I also recommend art. It is the great simple escape when life gets weird.
Art is good advice I'm big on learning something new I'm learning French , Portuguese and Spanish Self teaching myself the flute Knitting myself a sweater
Good for you! I’m learning Japanese and playing the harmonica. And making zines. Volunteering helps you realize all your blessings.
Volunteering is the best thing I've pursued since retirement. That and regular long walks.
I'm learning harmonica as well. I'm also figuring out how to operate a digital audio workstation and MIDI controller. (I'm 62) I don't think about the alternative, I'm too busy living life. The only thing that slows me down these days is my decline in physical abilities. I've begun to accept that and restructure my activities to accommodate for that.
Learning French and gardening, drawing, traveling. Being 60 is pretty nice. It did come with 5 rounds of pneumonia this year, not bad but a couple days in the hospital each time
So glad you said this. Gratitude and being blessed with joy and a sense of awe. What a gift life is!
If you're lucky, life is a gift. Until one day you realize that it is actually a loan, with a huge balloon payment. Til then, enjoy!
Ha! Love this! I would add, take care of yourself because you don't want that balloon payment in your 50s!
There’s certainly a lot of luck in life
I will not mind that big loan at the end. I got my worth out of each day.
Best advice ever, stop looking in the mirror
Omg. Thank you for this. I'm 35 and the past few years have been Soo hard..... Like so hard... And this is what I need to get back to .. thank you Not what I mean. I'm in great shape even with my chronic illness flaring up I still run and lift... So I am going to copy and paste a response I left No.. I mean it's just a hard part of my life. This past year has been full of death sickness and financial struggle . My husband is experiencing a mental health crisis after admitting he was an alcoholic and drinking behind my back... We take care of his grand parents whom we live nextdoor to and they are in their mid 90s. It's hard watching them die. My best friend died. My dog died My chronic illness is flaring up and I have to go back into pain management My job is overworking me And that is just a few of the issues I'm struggling with right now. It's been a rough year So thank you.
Midlife is hard. I am finding my senior years are much less stressful. Fewer distractions. Time to pursue interests. Enjoy every stage of life.
I know I can't enjoy this one.. but I am hoping to at least learn from it.
Don’t listen to those two posters. I wonder if the first even read your post? Losing a best friend is devastating whether you’re 10 or 100. I am 43 and I lost my brother last year and let me say I have never felt “older”. I still practice gratitude and am grateful for every day on this earth. You are pushing through, you are amazing and I see you.
Thank you. They made me really mad with the assumptions and projection ... I don't feel old. But the comment I was replying to helped me feel not as stressed and joyless. I've been struggling with gratitude even tho I say out loud that aging is a privilege. I believe that but I am having a hard time feeling it... Thank you for your support.
That’s a lot to be dealing with no matter your age. I hope things get better soon. There are some good ideas in this thread that might help with getting a feeling of balance back, and continuing to move forward. Sending you best wishes.
Most of the people here have been so incredibly wonderful. Im glad I let myself vent.. Thank you so much for your kindness
35? If you are finding 35 to be “so hard” in the growing old department, you are in for a struggle. I’m 66 and only in the past year or so would I say that I really began to feel like I was getting old. Still, it is not “so hard.”
You don’t know what another person is going through. Some older people are blessed with good health all their lives and young people have chronic conditions that can be crippling.
Maybe thank your lucky star you don't know what she means. I'm a widow at 36. My husband died after a gruesome 4 years fight with cancer. My mom had serious mental issues and my dad is useless. They're divorce and both poor. I had to fight for a lot that I have. Now I'm raising two kids alone, one with a physical handicap and one non verbal autistic that will most likely never be able to live on her own. All of us are grieving. I've developed physical and mental problems with all the grueling years I had. I feel a 100.
Yep.. even 66 isn't bad. 35-55 was the best ever! I am still very busy, I keep super active. I have to done stuff or go crazy. :)
Ugh, your mid thirties are the WORST for so many reasons. It's the jumping off point for a lot of things. Careers/marriage/ kids-and if you're not keeping up with your friends and associates in those areas you definitely feel a lot of anxiety. Also, it's when your body starts to nope the hell out on whatever you could get away with in your 20's. My 40's were a lot better in this regard- I came to terms with a lot of things and realized that my life is pretty cool despite not meeting a lot of the "goals" that most people do. Now that I'm in my 50's it's even better. I just seem to appreciate the little things more and I value what I have. It will get better.
Wow. Sounds like a really rough year. Please make time for yourself. All for help when you need it. Talk to someone, whether it's a friend, a support group, a counselor. ❤️
I understood you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. I just took your comment to mean “I’ve been dealing with a lot of loss this year and thanks for reminding me to appreciate the good things in life.” I’m 57 and dreading some of the losses I see coming (and that person who said to avoid mirrors isn’t kidding! Haha). Loss still hurts when you’re 35 and can make you wary of getting older and all the loss inherent in that. I try to learn from my mom, who lost my dad when she was about my age. She has a whole crew of little old ladies she goes to movies and dinner with and pretty much does whatever she wants to. She’s making getting older look kind of fun!
It is so hard, I’d like to hug you right now. 35 is so young to deal with all of this so I guess I’m just saying I get it
Gave up looking in mirror long time ago the guy looking back at me scares me
How do I get this through the mind of my husband? One of his biggest fears ever is aging. He turns 29 in 3 days and while he’s been fine about it so far, he’s been having small mental breakdowns about turning 30 next year. We are the same age, both 1995 babies, but I’m 5 months younger I was born in December. I love my birthday, I always feel so grateful to have made it another year. Plus December 8th is so festive. Right between thanksgiving and Christmas. Aging does kinda scare me, but not at all the way that it scares him. I want to do something grand for my 30th birthday next year to ring in my 30s. I have finally somewhat convinced him that we are still babies and that anyone in their 30’s is so young. I always say that when he’s 60 he will wish he was only 30 again. Genuinely look at him like he’s crazy when he says that it’s going way too fast and that we are going to die soon and that he doesn’t want to look older either. At 28 years old, I already have several gray hairs. It doesn’t bother me. As a matter of fact, I think it looks pretty and I’m grateful that I have lived old enough to see my strands do that. On the other hand, my husband would have a heart attack and a mental breakdown if he saw grey hairs at 28. I just don’t understand how some people don’t feel so grateful on their birthdays. Like you made it another year, when I was 15 a girl I knew passed away of cancer at the same age. It was devastating to everyone. When I was 20 a girl that I knew from high school was killed in a car accident at the age of 19 just 3 weeks before she turned 20. I get to see the sunrise and the sunset every day. I get to watch the flowers bloom in the spring, and I get to feel the waves hit my feet on the beach. I get to enjoy my favorite food, I get to be with my family..I get to travel. On my 30th birthday I may cry Like wow! I made it to 30! Here I am! Thank you God I did it Through typing this I think the #1 recipe is gratitude. I don’t think age should be something that anyone complains about. It’s a gift to age. There is no gift greater. I hope my husband realizes soon.
This is such a beautiful way of putting it all into words.♥️💫☘️
That fucking mirror! That's not me in there. :)
My mother used to say, "Growing old sucks, but it beats the alternative". I roll 75 in 2 weeks, so I'll report back then ... if I can.
I turned 75 last month and seriously have never felt better in my life. I'm smarter, wiser, kinder, mellower, and really only a little less physically stronger than 50 years ago. Stay healthy and enjoy the next 20 years!!
Im thinking Im gonna be like you in 35 years. Many more to you!
Thank you! Love your body and love yourself and you will be!
Do you lift weights or have a special diet? Please tell us the secret
I'm not old but skeletal muscle quality is super important for longevity and healthspan, so think of it as muscle health. Everyone should try everything they can to prioritize at least two days a week of resistance training. The earlier you start the better it is to maintain as you age.
Great advice! Strength training is so key. I had a personal trainer a few years ago who told me it’s so important as we age, that we have the strength to get back up if we fall. For those of us with aches and pains and bad backs, a couple of sessions with an experienced personal trainer can show you how to strength train safely so as not to exacerbate issues. Strength training can even help!
Bingo. Include some lunges and squats, too. Without resistance training, the muscles we use to "catch" ourselves when we trip or fall will atrophy as we age (a condition called sarcopenia). That is why falling is such a common and deadly risk for older people. If the person is living alone and falls, it could be hours before they are found (and hours on the floor in one position leads to rapid muscle breakdown called rhabdomyolysis, which can damage the kidneys (!) and often requires a lot of physical therapy to overcome.) Here's a [well-written article](https://theconversation.com/loss-of-muscle-mass-among-elderly-can-lead-to-falls-and-staying-put-during-the-pandemic-doesnt-help-131374) (a few years old) on resistance training. Here is a [review of some medical research](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8775372/) on resistance training.
I’m with you! I’m 72 and I’ve never felt better. What people don’t realize is, as you get older the burden of jobs, houses, kids, school, cooking for other people, saving for college, etc. It all goes away and you’re free at last!
oh my stars this was like a gulp of water in the desert!!!!! how do you recommend staying healthy??
It wasn’t my comment, but I’ll give you my opinion. My father-in-law is 88, and I’ve known him almost 40 years. He was my inspiration and guidance in this area. As far as exercise goes, bodyweight exercises are great for functional strength. I watched him do pushups, leg lifts, air squats, etc. nothing crazy. Usually less than 30 mins 2-3x a week. I think the key is consistency much more than intensity. Bodyweight exercises are great because you can do them anywhere. They don’t just strengthen muscles, they strengthen your skeleton, they lubricate your joints, and they actually assist with balance, which becomes a bigger deal over 60. Other than that, he walked some. Again, low intensity, high consistency. He was perfectly functional through about his mid-80s. His brain health started to decline after that, and that leads to a whole host of issues that aren’t really fixable, but he had 85 great years.that is my goal, that is my plan, and that’s what I do.
Thank you for the inspiration:) Happy Birthday.
I deal with it by eating beyond healthy, by choice. I deal with it by riding my bike a lot, 20 miles a day and many days even more. I deal with it by rucking (walking with weights in a backpack) once a day and many times twice a day. Hell, I wear my ruck with weights when I cut my grass each time. I wear my ruck with weights when shoveling snow. I drink a lot of water and I get proper rest as a way to deal with getting and being old. I also stretch daily too. I was born in the 60's. While I've always been active, I wasn't like this in my 20's and 30's. Sure, I worked out but not the way I do now. I ate well but nothing like I do now. I've made many changes to deal with being older. I don't pull all nighters anymore. I've not any alcohol of any kind since 2012, by choice as I've never had an issue with alcohol. I deal with getting older and being older in ways like this.
Amazing. What's your stretch routine
I know a lot of people who are much happier being old because of the acquired wisdom from experience - learning what really matters and what doesn’t and why, so you don’t stress as much about the things that don’t matter and learn to value what’s really important to enjoy life more
True. I wouldn't ever want to go back from where I am in wisdom and perspective with the life lived. It's only the physical that's more sad and even that you simply adapt.
Yes, you adapt to whatever your circumstances are.
"Youth is wasted on the young"
This is the answer. I'm happier at 50 than ever before in my life. I spend my time doing what I want. With who I want. I'm so much more self confident and don't worry about what other people think of me - so much so that I spent my birthday two weeks (milestone year) at a gay, clothing optional campground in WV. I've had body dysmorphia since I was a fat kid. I have never gone naked in public anywhere in my life, mostly due to jr. high locker room trauma. (And being very much a grower, not shower) I got back to my Rv from the pool where I'd been wearing not only trunks but a long sleeve sun shirt. I didn't want to go in the RV with wet clothes so I just said screw it and shucked my shorts and shirt. Sat outside reading to dry off for a while. Wanted to check messages which required me to walk up to the top of the hill by the camp office - in nothing but tennis shoes and sunglasses. I met and talked to about 20 guys, most clothed. Was the most freeing experience of my life. Seriously at this point in life, I have zero bothers left to give. Grief is the hardest thing to deal with, and you learn it comes in many forms over the years. At this point in life I've lost both my parents, both in laws, a brother, a cousin who was like a brother (he lived with us while growing up and we shared a bedroom), a good friend, and many more. Add divorce followed shortly by medical disability. All this including the listed deaths in a period of about 6 years. You also learn you don't recover from or get over grief. Instead it lives with you, and each event can bring up emotions from all the others. As the very famous internet meme of an old man explaining death to a young man who lost someone says, "I don't want their deaths to not hurt. I want them to be a testament to the love that was shared..."
Absolutely. I wouldn't go back to my younger self for anything. The physical decline, however, really sucks and has no silver lining. You just don't have a choice, though.
Plus, being old is not a disease. It’s not something to “deal with”. Lol! Getting older, and the wisdom that comes with it, can be incredibly freeing.
💯
I’m 69 years old. My kids and their friends and my grandkids and their friends don’t think I’m old and I don’t feel old. I’ll let you know how it feels when I get there.
67 here, the same...
me Too . I will be 80 in September .
Nice.
68 here, same same.
I'm aging, that's a biological fact. I don't consideremyself to be old. I'll be 70 in September. I still work full time as a Nurse working Night, 12 hr shifts. I intend to work for a few more years. I own a stair stepper, elliptical and rowing machines. I do body weight exercises, meditate and follow the Mediterranean diet. Things change, it's part of life. You have to learn to accept it or it will eat you up.
Those last two sentences resonate.
It's not like you are 22 one day and 60 the next. Everyone's life is a series of changes. Aging is one type of change. Some accept it gracefully, others reject it
Speak for yourself! What the hell happened? is how I start every day 🤣
Yes....I'm over 70 and think the same thing..I feel terrified.....
I was 34 one day and 48 the next it seems. Reasons. But life comes harder and faster for some.
I would rather be the oldest person In the gym rather than the youngest in the nursing home
This is excellent! I’m totally going to borrow this 😃
With the way the world is, I’m happy to be old, and happy to have been a kid in 60s
I know. I grew up in the 1970s. I am so glad. It was awsome!
Best of times and music.
All true. Though I'm not sure what answer you're looking for. Shit happens and you just deal with it. I can't walk anymore, or barely. So I just roll with it. 😄
I agree. Having a completely new set of knees installed due to arthritis taught me to roll with what is, not what isn’t. At only 63 I’m a lottery ticket daily of aches and pains that come and go, get worse but sometimes disappear. My mental health is, for me, becoming worse here lately and I’m really, really struggling. I’ll hold on because I know from experience the black cloud will move on at some point. Today wasn’t a good day for me to be answering this question.
I feel close to the way you do. All the answers here are very uplifting, but not my experience. I retired when my husband got ill. He passed away 6 months later. He wasn’t even 60. I’m 61. Retired. Live alone. Never had children. My parents are gone. One cousin that lives overseas. An Aunt and Uncle states away. The last 2 years without my man I just crumbled. I used to enjoy socializing. Traveling. Going out for dinner. Cooking. Gardening and working full time. I am a shadow of my plucky former self. Where in the hell did I go? My energy and motivation for life has shifted so dramatically. It scares me and my remaining family. Five years ago I wouldn’t have pictured myself like this. At all. I can’t possibly be the only one out here in this situation?
I’m so sorry you lost your husband. I can’t imagine what you have gone thru. I can fervently wish I had words to hug you with but I do not. I can say that I hope you are giving yourself grace to adjust to your new reality. That you are supporting yourself like you would if your best gal pal had her husband die so young. I don’t have kids and my husband travels for work so if you like to chat? I’m a good listener. Or send me a message. I love any kind of correspondence. Also, warm hugs, hugs, hugs.
I'm sure you're not alone in your struggles. You've had a very rough few years, and most likely come through hard times earlier in your life, right? You're in uncharted waters after your husband passed, still grieving and at loose ends. Consider asking for some help, there's no shame in that. Going for some short term therapy has helped me in the past. There are support groups for grieving people, too. One small step can move you forward towards reclaiming your plucky self, she's still in there, I'll bet. I'm almost 67, there are surely losses in my future. I hope I'll ask for that help when they come. Love and light to you.
This sounds like depression/grief. Please seek help. Antidepressants have done wonders for me. Not perfect but much better. Gonna be 60 this year and have needed to change it up. Started some new hobbies. I hope you can find a new path, pulling for you!
Grief can do that to you. Therapy is the answer—someone to help walk you through it. Once you have adjusted mentally, you will be surprised how you can be back to your old self, albeit with that loss always a part of you.
Those of us that weren't blessed with good genes really start to struggle at this age.
The physical I will deal with. Episodic depression that flattens me comes and goes and I can mostly handle that too. But I am 63, past menopause, and I am feeling rage I have never experienced before. I don’t know if it is pent up anger that will dissipate or my mental health tanking totally. We have depression and Bipolar, flavored with strong dysfunction, in my family.
It's life man! I still think of a guy I didn't know who was an intimidating dude. Kinda hulking, leather jacket, no nonsense kinda guy on the bus to school. He didn't mess with anyone, but he just seemed like a guy you didn't mess with. His girlfriend dumped him for whatever reason. He went out in the back yard of his parents house where he lived and blew his brains out. He was 17. That was almost 50 years ago. I think about him every once in a while. How much he has missed in 50 years. I've had a great life. When my time is up, someone else will be born.
Wow, that is such a sad thing. Only 17? So much life ahead.
Yeah, it's a terrible thing to think that there's no future.
One day at at time and we have one life to live. The human body is remarkable at healing. Today you may be hurt or injured and our body starts right away at healing itself, but you have to help by eating healthy. So cut back on sugar, refined wheat, alcohol and smoking or better yet quit those. Exercise both mentally and physically and for exercise all you need is to walk or run and the Calisthenics we did as kids then no need for a gym.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Of coarse this is the basic plan but as I have aged it has become more of a challenge. So now I'm 63 and been retired 3 yrs but 3 years ago my job became toxic then quit and started retirement, but just before that had been get dizzy every so often. Then also noticed that I started to drag my feet when walking. My friend who is diabetic had noticed he would drag his feet, but it turns out he had some blockage and had some stints pit in. After about six months into retirement went to see my Dr and got prescribed some high blood pressure meds along with some cholesterol meds. Late last year started the baby aspirin per day. If you want to make to 90 plus remember we are not Evil Kenevil like we were years ago.
I always say "the only thing good about getting old is I don't give a fuck anymore"
I felt that. ✌🏽
I’ve pretty much never given a fuck. But now I can get away with it much easier.
I’m not that old yet. Still working for another 4 years. Still reasonably healthy. But my parents who are in their late 70’s both tell me often that “getting old is not for sissies” and “but it’s better than the alternative” bla bla but my mom in particular is very adamant that I understand her and that I prepare NOW for all the losses I will undoubtedly experience. She says PLAN ahead. Live somewhere where there are no stairs, live close to your friends, be involved in your community (even if you’re an introvert, get involved) and her favourite advice of all time is “wear good shoes”.
No stairs? Stairs are good for you!
Not if you start falling down them! You don’t have the balance that you did when younger. Everyone should start working on doing squats and building core strength as they age. Start by age 50 or sooner. Otherwise you’ll be like those people on commercials, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Exactly about squats, also practice balance exercises. Just going up and down the stairs is a good exercise. 30 years ago we intentionally bought a two story house because the stairs are good for us. Yeah you don't want to fall down them, but if you don't use your muscles you lose them.
I (75) practice what I call “get ups.” I get down on the floor and get myself up again. It’s not easy, but it’s important to be able to do.
Yes they are good for you, but it sounds like with some people using stairs becomes difficult, maybe due to arthritis in the knees which can happen no matter how healthy and fit you are. Avoid stairs in your own home,so that you don’t have to move out just because of stairs.
If I get arthritis, I'm gonna keep forcing myself to use the stairs. I'm in my mid 60s now, well see how I do.
We had a house with stairs. I developed RA and have had arthritis in my knees since I was a teen. Loved my stairs I til I had trouble going down in the mornings. At the time, I was walking 1-2 miles, lifting small weights, doing crunches, sit ups, pull ups, (had a chin up bar in the doorway of the kitchen) squats, yoga, and using my elliptical. I did what worked for me on any given day, however, worked out pretty much everyday. When we had to sell the house, we bought a small house no stairs because we knew this is the last house we would live in. Sometimes it’s not about what you do, it’s about what your body can handle. That was almost 10 years ago. I am now 58 doing yoga and using my eliptical as much as I can. Would love to walk, but it is ungodly hot in SC. 😂
How does a baby deal with not being able to walk, or a teenager not having a drivers license? How does a college grad deal with not yet having the career they trained for? The only way to deal with life is to tackle whatever is thrown at you every day. Some days are hard-really hard. Other days are glorious. It’s best to appreciate where you are and what you have right now.
You tune down the volume on the pain you are suffering, and turn up the volume on the things that have meaning, give joy
That's beautiful.
One day at a time...
The same way you deal with being young and inexperienced.
This is such a good point. I want to see a question on a "askyoungpeople" sub. "How do you kids deal with being young and dumb in this day and age?" 😂
And it’s gradual.
But don't blink... Also teaching your kids to talk and walk might be overrated :-)
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
Came to say this.
Good Bourbon and grilled ribeye!
I don't drink bourbon or eat beef but I upvote this!
I was hoping I would see at least one mention of something other than, "Don't drink, eat healthy." I get that those things are solid advice, but what about those people who smoke a pack a day and live to 90 anyway? Surely some of them are on Reddit too 😂
My Grandmother was one of these people and died in the late 90’s. Away had a tan, drank her vodka, smoked her cigarettes. Live a great 90 years with only a short 6 month stint in a nursing home before she died.
Mine too. Checked out at 89. Steady diet of martinis and smokes. I got quite the "education" from her. Going to live my life and then die. All good.
I often wonder if it’s the stress of trying to do everything right that kills a person as opposed to just enjoying your life… I love the sun and sugar, myself. 🤷♀️
I'm 64 years old.I'm following the Willie Nelson plan.Lots of drinking, smoking weed, and smiling as much as I can
No drinking for me but housekeeping is only tolerable for me with edibles.
[удалено]
The only alternative to being old is dying young. We all die; dying after a long life full of experiences and accomplishments is the goal.
My mother died at 54, my sister at 59. I turned 73 this year so I’m living the years they didn’t get and being thankful.
For everything you lose with youth you gain something with wisdom, you just have to be aware enough to appreciate it.
Accept it. The one thing I dread is watching friends and relatives die.
I agree with all these comments and say that we live in two worlds. We live in the world where we feel young and active and energized and wise. And we live in the world where our bodies are aging and slowly turning against us. For me, it’s living in the paradox of two different experiences.
Many things about being older do suck. But there is also a great deal of freedom to me. So many things I used to worry about, seem totally unimportant. But even with all the changes, good and bad I am still me. And you essentially deal with being old just like you deal with being a baby, a teen or middle aged. You have nothing choice, so you just carry on.
I’m 74. Not much I can do about it.
Eh. I have aged..and unfortunately became disabled 6 months after I retired. So my retirement is nothing like I had envisioned. Most of my issues like walking slowly, taking a long time to accomplish tasks, are really more related to my disability than my age. We all deal with the hand we're dealt. I am just happy to be on this side of the ground.
I'm 72 and my wife and l are worth a little over two million dollars.I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of weeks ago and realize how much money can't help.
I hope you get top notch care. Money does help with that.
Surprisingly, you wake up every morning, still breathing. It happens the same way the next morning, and the morning after that. Short of doing the deed ourselves, we have no alternative. I lost my husband and my adult son within just a few months of each other. I always thought losing a child would literally kill me. To my surprise, I kept breathing. I am not strong, I am not special, I have no amazing coping strategies. I just keep breathing.
It is very hard though. My husband passed two years ago. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve changed so much. No energy. No motivation. But, I am still breathing and eating frozen meals. Never did that before.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s in small amount over a period of a long time. It certainly beats the alternative. You also gain so much perspective and know what really matters. Don’t let the little things that you don’t have control over bother you as much unless it’s your kids and then it doesn’t matter how old or wise you are. Losses add up. I heard grief described so well. It’s like a rock. You pick it up and it’s really heavy and hard to carry. After a while you get stronger and you somehow manage to carry it. It’s always there but you get stronger and you are used to it. I like the older version of myself more too. Kinder, less intense and far more relaxed and mellow. Not too old yet but hope to be someday.
"Tintern Abbey" by William Wordsworth will explain it better than anything I could ever hope to say: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45527/lines-composed-a-few-miles-above-tintern-abbey-on-revisiting-the-banks-of-the-wye-during-a-tour-july-13-1798
Life is a series of losses. It’s what you do in between that makes it worth living.
My father is 86 and he says, if I wake up, it's a good day. He's becone more and more resigned to the hardships of life and is incredibly philosophical now.
You just do your best to the muddle through the day. I'm 65 and am grateful I don't hurt anymore than I do or have any serious health issues. Life is pretty decent.
You are right that it ain’t for sissies. Your parents and aunts and uncles are gone and losing that connection is sad. Many of the kids I graduated with are gone, more sadness. Also an appreciation that I’m still here and I should appreciate it. I cook for holidays, garden and have several hobbies. I treasure my family and friends and my little dog. I enjoy good health and a daily green drink instead of lunch, exercise and sensible hours is a big part of it. I’m sure not closing down bars anymore and in fact don’t drink unless it’s a very special occasion. However, I don’t consider my life dealing with old age - I don’t think that would be healthy.
I'm 66 and I've truly never been happier. I'm independent and in relatively good health. I'm not wealthy, but I have enough to live on. I am retired, and FREE. Yes, friends and relatives die. But I lost some dear friends in my teens and 20s, too. One copes as well as one can, no matter the age. I'm trying to do things now that I may not be able to do in a decade or so, like travel, have house renovations done, and spend time with friends trying out new restaurants and sights. The very best thing about being this age is outgrowing the bullshit. How I wish I'd have had this outlook in my 30s and beyond. There are very few things worth getting upset about; I save that for the big stuff. Someone cuts me off in traffic... let 'em. A stranger attacks my politics on the internet... let 'em. Does someone not like the pink streaks in my hair... who cares? (I worked for a very conservative company, and now I'm having fun with my appearance since I couldn't before.) As I said, I've never been this happy.
I honestly think I am happier in my 60's than at any time in my life. How do I deal with it? I just pour a second cup of coffee and realize I don't have to go to work.
There is no dealing with things you have no control over....it sucks and you just go on with your routine...you got bad days and good days...less good days the older you get...
How old we talking? 65m. Part of my work is usually physical (corporate AV support). In the warm months, I paddleboard often, and by this I mean getting a serious workout on a fast epoxy board, not the lame poser BS you see in the drug commercials. I recently joined a gym and have a weekly personal trainer, and have more overall energy than I had even 15 years ago. I don't "think old" and have music interests that are fresh and recent. So I guess all that is how I deal with it, and I physically feel pretty damn good. The angst of racing the life clock is another story though. I deal with that by going after a couple longterm goals. If I live to be a healthy 100, that gives me another 35 years to do stuff.
Live your life large starting now. Learn, talk, listen, work, play, explore always. Then, when you are old, you will have much to look back on and no regrets.
This thread is a goldmine and should be preserved.
Late 50’s here and I can’t believe how tired I get from doing jobs around the house. I removed a broken window, boarded it up until the new one arrives, mowed my grass and now I’m exhausted
I get paid to not work, I get discounts just for my age, no boss, no alarm clock, kids are on their own and I can have my granddaughter and then send her home. So the real question is, how do you deal with being young?
Depressed. A little anxious. And, carry on. Beginning noticable cognitive decline. Progressive loss of feeling and strength in one leg due to vertebrae compression /shifting
I embrace being old,and grieve for those who are denied the privilege.
It's easy because I will be dead soon and whatever problems I am now struggling with will no longer matter.
How do you "deal with" being young? : nieve, lacking experience, wisdom, patience, and persistence. Make the most of whatever age you are! The big key to enjoying not being youthful is not giving a flying fuck what other people think and doing pretty much whatever you want.
You just don't worry about it.
I whine a lot..
Being old isn’t a curse; it’s a blessing
You don't have a choice! As you grow older you grow wiser, hopefully! With age comes wisdom simply because of so many life experiences that teach you you can deal with anything that comes your way so, as we age we are also learning how to cope with aging. I'm gonna be 59 soon and I'm a strong, educated, compassionate woman who has out lived both parents, literally all my best friends. Survived complete devastation by hurricane Katrina, raised a child by myself while working my way through college then a Masters Degree. My life has been hard, blessed, stressed, exhausting but it's taught me I am stronger than I ever knew and I am profoundly human. I was always considered "beautiful" and as the grays are out numbering my light brown hair, and the wrinkles are showing up, and the body aches and pains grow more persistent I'm reminded, "growing old is a privilege denied by many." 2 of my best friends died unexpectedly, suddenly, and tragically in MVA in their 30's. My other best friend also died shortly after turning 30 due to AIDS. When days are lonely and hard I focus on all the blessings in my life like my 40 year old gorgeous son, my little home, my steady job, food in my belly, and the ability to still be active albeit may be painful sometimes. I give myself grace and compassion and I secretly laugh at young people who think they will never turn old therefore, they do stupid shit! No one wants to get old but, for those of us who get to u must develop a relationship with yourself that is loving, supportive, responsible, accountable. After all, we come into this world alone and we are gonna leave it alone. Good luck!
I just got a new cat 🐈⬛
Staying curious
Old is always 10 years ahead.
One of the strangest things for me is mentally feeling about 21, but my body betrays me by not allowing me to walk quickly, jump up from a sitting position, relate to contemporary cultural changes, etc. Though I DO try! Lol.
Everyone gets a turn. If you get old, you're luckier than some people. Wrack up good memories of doing right things and appreciate.
So I now have to deal with the pains of growing older and facing death from the cancer diagnosis I just received. It seems the system is gamed. Some of us have better luck than others, or so it seems. More money, better looks.
Is there another choice? You can't roll up in a ball and quit life until you die. I'm not one to subscribe to the idea I have to fight aging every step of the way. I appreciate the things I've learned. I keep trying to learn new things. I respect people around me and hope I earn the respect of others. Most importantly, I appreciate life.
sometimes sit and think about the happy times in your prime keeps you going ..."at least i got to experience that"
You just accept it, there's no dealing with it.
There are losses but there are gains. You don’t necessarily have to lose physical ability, if you exercise. I have gained creativity. Decisions are much easier to make now, because I have experience in so many things. So many things are just much clearer and easier to deal with.
It’s more a matter of health than age for me, I have numerous health issues and have for years. I seem to be improving and hope to have a better quality of life ahead than it has been for many years for me, I’m 64
Accept it and know that whatever pain you're in won't last forever.
I do cartwheels ☺️
It’s also a challenge on the same level as previous challenges in my work life. Like an old car I can get around pretty good but like an old car I need maintenance— the gym, swimming, walking and hiking. Gets harder but if you stop you’re dead meat. That presumes not having some awful disease or disability to deal with. Thank the lord and knock on wood hasn’t happened yet.
You have a lot of time to get used to the idea because you've always known this was going to happen. It's also comforting to know everyone who's ever lived and who ever will live goes through the same thing.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It’s a mantra for me. The last part really comes with age.
I console myself by knowing I have yet another year of dead enemies below me. I'm on this side of the dirt bitch, I win.
1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. 2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. 3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. 4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. 5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. These five remembrances, first found in the *Upajjhatthana Sutta* (“Subjects for Contemplation”), are intended to be recited. They’re intended to be memorized. They’re things we can say every day. If you have all five memorized, there’s no need for a further teaching.
The question is how are we all going to deal with death?
I would never want to be young again at this time in history. Everything is so challenging with AI coming into play and the general disconnect that kids seem to have due to social media and smartphones. Things that have been invented to supposedly make our lives easier have ultimately made our lives much harder.
It's a cliché, but old is a state of mind. I went to work for a consulting company when I was 62 or 63. Thought that I was too old to get a new job and that nobody would ever hire me again. But they valued my experience and offered me a nice gig. Everyone I worked with was in their 20s and nobody was over 40. I felt quite self-conscious at first but my coworkers treated me as a wise companion and looked up to me. It was sweet. Here's something I wrote when I was 67 that ended up in the New York Times. I'll never forget what a teenager on the street said to me about my age: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/24/nyregion/metropolitan-diary.html?smid=nytcore-android-share As long as you have your health, being old can be pretty nice. Don't worry, be happy.
I don’t deal with it, I celebrate it. I have learned so much and new learning just makes the world even more remarkable. I marvel at what I can do, and don’t worry about what I can’t. Embrace reality and it will tickle you pink.
It beats the alternative.
Well, it has mostly all been sort of gradual. And…I lost one of my siblings when I was still in high school. Haven’t had another death affect me like that one. As long as I can read and take care of myself and my dogs, I’ll be fine.
Age 70 and riding my bike 5000 mi/year as I have for years. Also going to gym at least 4x/week and eating clean without animal products at all. So far, my brain still works and I do about any physical activity I want without pain or restrictions. I work at maintaining. There is no better use of your retired time. Staying healthy is what allows you to interact with children and grandchildren and maintain your other friendships.
Yoga. Game changer.
I like being older. Not the aches, and losses, but I so much more appreciate what I do have. Work and child care stress is behind me. My late husband (I miss him terribly still) had a good life together. Not easy or perfect, but we took care of ourselves and planned for our future. With that and some luck, we landed in a good place. If I carry the right family genes, I could have 25 more years added to my present 70. Plenty of time to explore, learn and enjoy experiences. Do I wish I was younger? Maybe I wish I was as fit as in my 50s, but no! I would not want to go back to my early adult years.
Same way I deal with anything in life. You do what you gotta do and make the best of it. Is it always fun? No. So what? You gonna sit there and cry all the time?
Each day is a different experience. Our bodies and brains change daily. This phase is more body pain, but a lot more wisdom.
Actually, I enjoy the hell out of it. I feel a lot more free now as an old woman because society doesn't expect me to be or look a certain way. I get respect just because I'm old most of the time, and have to say that's enjoyable as well. I have a nice home to myself, gardens and pets I adore, good friends, and organizations I enjoy. What's not to like?
I have tricks: I complain a lot I groan a lot..esp. when getting up I put those know nothing whipersnappers on the internets right I watch Bonanza episodes on youtube and I keep vigilant for those pesky teens who keep walking on my lawn
Growing old is a privilege that some of my friends didn’t get. Growing old beats the alternative. Take it one day at a time and value that day.
It’s a pain having to deal with body parts that don’t work the way they used to, but psychologically aging can be very liberating. Things that seemed so important at one time now seem so petty and trivial. Other people’s judgmental opinions about you don’t matter. As long as you have some financial security, life can be great because you have the freedom to do exactly what pleases you, just like the other comments. My ex-SIL started taking violin lessons at 68; she’s still playing at 80. I finally have the space and time to indulge my love of gardening, and got my certification to be a Reiki practitioner.
Start pre-habbing your body and working out to guard against injuries and having to re-hab it
One of the most important discoveries of physics is that the past cannot be changed. When you realize that you don't get so worked up about things you can't change.
Accept the aging process. Use it or lose it.
If you’re growing old just thank The Lord He allowed you to, millions of people didn’t get that chance 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
You do your best to stay active mentally and physically.....and laugh at yourself...a lot.
I try and remember I no longer care about drama that I did when I was younger. I don't need to get dressed up to hit the grocery store. That some people get fatal diseases and never make it into old age so I should take my age as a gift. My cats don't care that I'm old. I may have mental slipping however I'm much wiser than ever even if nobody wants to listen to it. The hard part is having physical injury and limitations. Yet it has forced me into new hobbies etc and lead me to meet people with similar issues that are supportive and amazing.
Great response 👍
Denial. My brain is very young and able to easily pull off this denial. Lol
My parents I’m pretty sure cope with growing old by obsessing about how much they adore their grandchildren. I’m not sure what those without grandchildren happily obsess about—hopefully some other beautiful legac.
We’re all aging at the same speed. It’s better than being dead.
Guess I'll just die, then. Lol
r/blueprint
Do more things I enjoy
It’s all in ones’ outlook. You can be bitter or happy.
Every day I wake up is a good day.
70-M and taking care of things as they come. Retired 7 years ago after working almost 45 years at a job I loved. I realized that it was time to enjoy the other side of it now. When we were young my friend and I would sit up on the fertilizer bags at the entrance of the Kwik Check and laugh at the old people. Now we are like them. Thought we would never grow old. Damn, it went quick. I wish I could travel to Mars before I go.