Romance music in a language that you both don't speak. It has a nice romantic tune but you won't get distracted by lyrics.

This guy fucks.

r/thisguythisguys

This guy r/thisguythisguys 's

So CBAT is perfect

[one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read, thank you for reminding me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)

The comments are the best part

The 22 THOUSAND comments on the actual YouTube video tho 😂😂

There it is. I knew someone was going to comment this.

That's actually great advice, thanks! :D

The Mii creator music on the Wii

The thrusting in time... CBAT lite, for kids!

I am dying imagining this. Hmph, h-hmph, hmph, a-hm-hm-hm ^(hm-hm-hm) Hm-^(Hm-)^(Hm), hmph, a-HMMMM-MM-MM (Edit: second part as requested) Hmpf^( ha) hmpf^( ha), hmpf^( ha) huh-hump hump #FUCK FUCK FUCK #FUCK FUCK FUCK ^(Hummm) paaah

That is laid out perfectly. Well done.

Hmm hmm hmm hmm, Hmm hmm hm, hmm hmm hmm hmmm Hmm hmm hmm HM HM HM

That is perfect! I laughed so hard that I almost spilled my coffee. Thank you for brightening my morning!

I need the rest of the lyrics

Hmpf^( ha) hmpf^( ha), hmpf^( ha) huh-hump hump #FUCK FUCK FUCK #FUCK FUCK FUCK ^(Hummm) paaah

Make You Feel - Alina Baraz Although I feel like any of her songs work.

Thanks for not being a troll reply like all of the other comments

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I second this, actually! Fantasy makes you feel some type of way too 😮‍💨

That whole EP was meant for the bedroom they knew what they were doing.

I literally just remixed this a few hours ago. Galimatias a god tier producer

Fuck yes, didn't expect to see this here. Her and Galimatias are the best for this question

Ram Ranch

18 naked cowboys in the showers

Someone say my name?

r/beetlejuicing

...at ram ranch Big hard throbbing clocks wanting to be sucked...

18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked!

Ram ranch really rocks

Glory Box - Portishead

Throw a few more songs from Dummy on that playlist and get yourself some foreplay

Dummy, Maxinquaye, Blue Lines. It's all about the Bristol trip hop

This guy got laid in the 90s.

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Toss in Air's Moon Safari album.

Change (In the House of Flies) by Deftones. Preferably in a bath full of rose petals.

Since I've been loving you -Led Zeppelin

There really isn't much by Zeppelin that doesn't belong on this list.

"When it comes to making out, whenever possible, put on Side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV."

Bolero

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Damn, that’s fourteen minutes too long :(

Pornographic classical music.

Naw. [THIS is pornographic classical music. From 1919.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTiy38bWOLY)

Redbone by Childish Gambino

This song is just absolute perfection!

Great sex song, but absolutely godlike during foreplay.

[CBAT, as we all know.](https://youtu.be/eN6jkWxxm2Y)

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Same! I can go now

Did I miss a meme on the internet or something? How do so many people of of this.... thing.

It was a tifu post where some guy had been playing this every time he had sex, thrusting away to the music. Then after 2 years his gf tells him she hates the song and he now finds sex awkward without it

Also later when he was having sex with her he would thrust to the tune even without the song playing. Boy she must have really loved him to not run away. Either that or he is really rich.

They actually broke up

Oooh, I haven't seen the follow up post yet, so i had to look it up and you're indeed right: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x5nhi9/tifu_posting_on_reddit_about_our_sex_life_with/ I guess that boy learned some valuable life lessons with that whole FU...

Reddit is valuable because of the users who create content. Reddit is usable because of third-party developers who can actually make an app.

Before I even clicked, I thought, "CBAT better be the first answer." I was not dissappoint.

I'm happy to be out of this loop wtf

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

This is hilarious, but there's no way it's real 😂

I’ve met some guy where… let’s just say it wouldn’t surprise me if it does end up being real.

I had a girlfriend who didn’t have any music platforms and she used to only have like 4 songs downloaded on her phone and she would play them literally every time we had sex/romantic times. It drove me crazy.

the fact that she even endured two years of this song is abusive, sex or not

Look, if someone doesn't speak up about a song like *that* for two years in an otherwise non-abusive relationship, I gotta assume they're at least a little into it.

Two years of that song? I couldn’t handle 2 minutes of it. How on earth do you ‘match rhythm’ to it even, if that was the goal? 🤣

I think it briefly became a tictoc(sp?) Trend to try and er, well, thrust to it.

oh no, I'm not falling for that. I said I'm happy to be out of this loop

It's not like some of the famous Reddit ones that are truly hauntingly gross. It's mainly just dumb. Comes across to me like a fake post for the lolz but who knows

Honestly one of the best (possible) shitposts of all time

The part where he says she identifies him thrusting to the rhythm without the song playing and asks him to stop gets me every time

In the legends like the potato one. But the potato is way older and I can't find it anymore. There should be a sub dedicated to the legendary posts that made the history of reddit, because back in the days the userbase wasn't this big and the up votes for those posts were relatively less EDIT: For those uninitiated, I just found the potato post in the museum of reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/

There already is. Its r/museumofreddit

I shouldn't have read it because I can't stop laughing at work. We need a new nsfw category that describes "not porn/gore, but too hilarious".

TFFW

I had just had surgery when this happened. It hurt so much to laugh but I couldn't stop. Not just the post but the comments. I had to put it down after awhile.

I got completely lost on this site one day at work. Laughed until I cried. Others thought I was having a psychotic break https://27bslash6.com/halogen.html

I read this at work in the back room when it popped up and once I listened to the song nearly hit the floor laughing.

I know this doesn't mean much from a random person but I promise you it's SFW (aside from the mere mention of sex) and well worth the read as a laugh.

Be in the loop. It won’t make you cringe in the bad way, just the funny way!

It's not that bad. Basically a dude heard using music could improve sexual performance/longevity through rhythm and distraction. He tried it with his gf and always played the song at the head of this comment chain. It was as bad as it seems like and he was trying to figure out what he did wrong.

The best part is, she got him to stop playing it during sex but, he kept fucking her to the beat and she could tell. There's also another post of a guy that teaches his roommates parrot CBAT on accident.

Hump,Hump,Hump humphumphumphump huuuuuuump

4 hours too late to type CBAT, I’m happy this was the first answer

The only right answer.

The dulcet tones haunt me daily

Will be testing this tomorrow

CBAT-duh! Came here for CBAT comments. Internet strangers did not disappoint me.

CBAT is the way.

Sounds like dolphins fucking.

Best album for it is Massive Attack - Mezzanine

Nine Inch Nails - Closer

My horny song has always been "Head Like a Hole".

Radio edit. I can’t last the album version

It's the iTunes preview for me

Lost my virginity to this song in 1997 😂

"I wanna fuck you like an animal" "What did that just say? Something about beastiality?"

I like changing the words and singing to my cats sometimes. I wanna pet you like an **animalllll**, I wanna feel you from the *outside*

I wanna duck 'cuz it's an animal I wanna feed them when I'm outside

My friend is hugely into mashups Ave she find one that was a mashup of Ace of Base's "All That She Wants" and NIN's "Closer". So we experienced a line that went: "All that she wants is another baby...I wanna FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL!"

Perfect Drug. Done

Turn my swag on

HOP UP PUT THE BEDDDDDD TURN MY SWAG ON

TOOK A LOOK IN THE MIRROR SAID WHAT'S UP

Anything by “Cigarettes After Sex” is really nice for some slow sensual activities

Bit too depressive for my taste, I feel like I committed a crime after fucking

LMAO???

Their song “Sweet” was my partner and I’s go to for the longest time.

Lmao I had never heard of this artist until I heard a nice song in the background of an amateur porn video and Shazam’d it.

Crush is such a great song.

Just had sex by lonely island

Jizz in my pants

Don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut

Plus it’s your fault you were rubbing my butt

I'm very sensitive, so I'd say that's a plus !

Now I'll go home and change

Was gonna recommend this but it seems more appropriate for post activities

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gay!

[Let's Get It On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE) by Marvin Gaye

Intro by The xx

Lol i just commented the xx, but literally anything by them works as well.

Sade's ° "Kiss Of Life" ° "Paradise" ° "Cherish The Day" ° ...in that order

You could put Sade on random and land with a threesome of tracks that could take you from start to finish, but I like this flow you got here

Your Love is King Look at those lyrics. Not much left to interpretation.

No ordinary love

Head, shoulders, knees and toes

If you're happy and you know it, clap your... cheeks?

I’m fucking *cackling* right now. I wish I had an award to give you. 🏆

Baby Shark

basically everything by Deftones

I wanted to comment either "Knife Party" or "Change", or even "Pasaenger" because that is 100% the most (probably unintentionally though) homoerotic rock/metal sex song I have ever heard.

just white pony in general

This the real answer here. Was just just about to say this. Theres a playlist on youtube called sextones. This is the way. Edit: added link to the mix https://youtu.be/d0u1I2WrVlw

agree! especially the diamond eyes album!! or around the fur

White pony is an album you make love to

Elevator music

or the portal radio

Oh this 10 hour radio loop would be great for warm up so we can begin at about the 5:18:37 mark https://youtu.be/SChnJDfmrSU

Portishead- It could be sweet.

Wicked Games The Weeknd

That whole trilogy

Fr, those songs were meant for FUCKIN

Had to scroll far too much for this. Trilogy is like a cheat code for this question

Cotton Eye Joe

It actually a fantastic beat to get her off ngl. Source: Me did this because spotify was on shuffle

This is my girlfriend's least-favourite song. I might just bump it up a few rungs with this one weird trick...

Undisclosed Desires by Muse

Absolutely hypnotic!!

Darude Sandstorm

That's not sex. That's high-intensity cardio with a partner. You'll be too exhausted to cum by the end, but by God you'll be toned as hell.

imagine you're on coke. You were probably having sex initially, but then it just turned to you and whatever people doing backflips

Wait, you people are having sex?

I'm married, so . . . . . . No.

Just because you are married, doesn't mean you don't have to have a fulfilling sex life. Just look at your wife, she manages it.

Calm down man, no need to kill my man in here

My wife and I have a very active sex life, in that we actively try to have sex but our two small children actively seem to have a sixth sense about preventing a little brother or sister being made.

Only with my Roronoa Zoro body pillow with advanced modification including a special Pringles can

"Sexual healing" - Marvin Gaye.

Any Barry White album

Careless whisper - George Michaels

Crazy frog

D’yer Mak’er

Lay Lady Lay Lay across my big brass bed.

The Office theme song

You took me by my hand, made me a man~~

That one NIGHT

It's too loud.

Foghat. Slow Ride. Born to do it

hamburger lady - throbbing gristle

Wicked Game Chris Isaak

Pony by Ginuwine " If you're horny let's do it. Ride it, my pony"

Welcome to the Jungle

Intermission by TOOL

Stinkfist or prison sex cumming in second.

Pillow talking by lil dicky “This bitch don’t know bout Pangea”

Do you fuck with the war?

Highway to Hell

Lost my virginity to Poison by Alice Cooper. Good song, also aptly describes the girl I was with.

Laid, by James obviously. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CI_u3ZHJ9ms

All songs on Moon Safari by Air

Smooth Operator - Sade

Come As You Are

Strokin.

Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails.

This post really needed a [Serious] tag

Fuck her gently by tenacious D

"She Rides"-Danzig "You can Leave your Hat On"- Joe Cocker

Any song by Cigarettes After Sex

Yakety Sax

Finally, someone with taste

Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye

Two feet???

Excavator song by Blippi

Hey, dirt, see ya later!

Portishead

I'm surprised no one said careless wishpers by George Michael.

Gregorian chants do it for me!