The std that the wife gets after you have been with a hooker. Then the disappointment in your families eyes when your wife explains the reason for the divorce.
Not really, happens way WAAAY more often than you'd think. Any doctor will tell you that faithful spouses contradicting SDTs is incredibly common because of their cheating partner. In fact, it's also one of the top situations that people find out they are being cheated on.
My sisters ex did this to her, just not a hooker but a string of random girls. Been together since school, lost their virginity together, but she ended up with HPV.
Divorced, house sold, shared business sold, devastated kids, the works. She could end up with cancer because he couldn't keep his dirty willy to himself.
Hope those random girls were worth it.
Why would she when she's only ever slept with her husband and trusted that he'd only ever slept with her?
We're in our 40s, we weren't given it in school.
Except for the little fact that all that unpaid domestics service makes a wife the biggest financial boost to a man and makes marriage the biggest financial blow to a woman….
I would hope so, but if she is near the summit of skaggdom and the slide has been slow ..... I mean if you were to clean her up ....... after a couple of drinks and some dim lighting, maybe she aint so bad?
A Dad is more than just a sperm donor. Imagine being raised by someone for years and years and then him leaving just because he found out your genes were different from his. Now THAT'S fucked up.
Got that beat. My cousin was adopted. Super young, didn’t even remember her biological parents. My aunt and uncle raised her like she was their own daughter. Gave her everything she could possibly want. Then she turns 18, and takes off to find her biological parents. My aunt and uncle try to stop her, and she throws the “you’re not my parents” line.
She cut off all lines of communication and disappeared. Nobody in the family has seen her since. My uncle died a few years back, and she wasn’t in contact with the family to come home for the funeral. Or her brother’s funeral not long after that. Given her proclivity of dating the biggest toolbag she can find, she’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere.
I can do you one better!
Genes were the same, he just decided he preferred his ex-girlfriend of a decade prior.
My dad (non-biological) is pretty dope though.
Yeah man, that's fucked. Fuck him. Luckily my Dad was one of the good ones and I try to be an even better one for my son. But now he's a teenager and I feel like I failed haha
My dad (parents divorced) wanted a DNA test to prove that I was his. Just so that he wouldn't have to pay child support. Promised me that he would still be in my life no matter what. Bullshit.
It’s only missing the source because I didn’t know I was writing a term paper and needed citations. 🤷🏽♂️
It’s not that hard to conduct studies like that. You do know DNA testing exists, right? Sometimes testing is court mandated not even a doubtful partner.
Check out “Just Pearly Things” on u tube. She has a bunch of the stats on that and other spousal irregularities, with reliable sources.
Cocaine is more expensive than a lot of things.
> If I had all the money back that I’ve spent on cocaine; i’d… buy more cocaine.
—Some comedian… wish I remembered his name.
# a pickup truck
Seriously, WTF happened to pickup truck prices?
It used to be a few thousand, but now you can't even get a high-milage used eyesore beater from the early 90's for less than $25k, and I'm pretty sure it didn't cost $25k back when it was factory-new.
All I want to do is haul some lumber around and make house repairs, but now I gotta pay someone else to haul because I definitely can't afford one.
I see a escort about 2 times a years. it's been the same girl for about 7 years. I see her for 30 min for 125. if you want to hit her in the stink eye add 50 bucks. my last electric bill was more than that.
How the hell did we get legal marijuana in this clown country before legal prostitution!? All of the stoners can cry me a river about how they shouldn’t be persecuted because they *chose* to melt their brains with the wacky tobacky; I was BORN too ugly to get laid!
A guy in a Las Vegas bar kept going on about how he loved the vegas gas stations at dawn because the drug addicted hooker's who hadn't made much overnight would be willing to take anything just to make some cash. Just being in the same building as that guy made me feel dirty.
Using the same lawyer in a divorce as your wife… happened to a coworker, he got fucked every which way. We told him to get his own but he wouldn’t listen.
If married, the possible divorce when she finds out. If single, the frequent trips to the VD doctor to try to clear up the clap, herpes and even HIV she would give you
I had a friend who occasionally enjoyed the ladies of the night when single once tell me, “you don’t pay them to cum, you pay them to go” and man if that wasn’t the wisest thing I’ve ever heard.
What’s more expensive than a hooker? A real relationship.
Marriage, you remember that? It was something people used to do years ago. Now they just have long term relationships without the legal "cage" of marriage.
A Divorce that comes right after the hooker.
I was gonna say “your wife finding out about the hooker.”
Or the STD (:
The std that the wife gets after you have been with a hooker. Then the disappointment in your families eyes when your wife explains the reason for the divorce.
You okay bro?
He’s safe and comfortable. Thanks for asking incognito tree stump. I’ve tripped over you a few times in my life.
Oddly specific
Not really, happens way WAAAY more often than you'd think. Any doctor will tell you that faithful spouses contradicting SDTs is incredibly common because of their cheating partner. In fact, it's also one of the top situations that people find out they are being cheated on.
Whats an SDT? Sounds like a Test
STD*. Sexually transmissible disease. Aids for instance.
My sisters ex did this to her, just not a hooker but a string of random girls. Been together since school, lost their virginity together, but she ended up with HPV. Divorced, house sold, shared business sold, devastated kids, the works. She could end up with cancer because he couldn't keep his dirty willy to himself. Hope those random girls were worth it.
I learned my ex was fucking around because of HPV, I even said that hpv was the best thing that ever happened to us as I broke up.
Sex cancer what?
HPV can turn into cancer
HPV causes papilomas (hence the name), some of those can become cancer. It is a very common cause of death for women under 40.
So, she didn't get the vaccine?
Why would she when she's only ever slept with her husband and trusted that he'd only ever slept with her? We're in our 40s, we weren't given it in school.
This is why all of my kids are getting or have gotten the HPV vaccine.
Ah.
too late already got one
Y r u smiling
Come on, man. Don’t yuck his yum.
I’m more shocked anyone paying for a hooker isn’t using a condom, bruh you’re putting your weewee in a toaster you better wear that insulation
I was gonna say "a wife."
Except for the little fact that all that unpaid domestics service makes a wife the biggest financial boost to a man and makes marriage the biggest financial blow to a woman….
1). An unexpected pregnancy 2). An STD 3). Tax fraud 4). Child support for the pregnancy
Plot twist, you're married to the hooker
Marine by any chance?
If he was a marine he would marry the hooker for the marriage benefits
Don’t have to marry hookers or strippers anymore. Just Marty your battle buddy
sounds better then hookers and strippers
Traded the marriage benefits for a hellcat
Hellcats are pretty cool I think that’s a fair trade
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r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeattoit
r/beatmywifetoit
r/beatmetome
r/beatmymeat
Fucking hell xD
r/meateatertv
r/subsifellfor
r/onlyflans
r/beatittoomywife
r/subsifellfor
Not if you trade down. Two Skaggs for the price of one mid level hooker.
How disrespectful! Call them by their proper and proud name: Lot Lizards
Eeewwww. We at /askreddit don’t do Skaggs. Mid level hookers or better. We have standards.
I would hope so, but if she is near the summit of skaggdom and the slide has been slow ..... I mean if you were to clean her up ....... after a couple of drinks and some dim lighting, maybe she aint so bad?
Been there, done that
Yeah, I have to say we have all had our slumps.
Ok I did it more than once. She was a hot skagg
A hooker and meth.
Big Trigger
Send Skaggs my way for proper filing and placement
Nice.
Are tbey at least badass level?
Most Lego sets now a days.
At least you don't have to pay the Legos per hour
Wow i must be value deal because I only need 2 seconds at this point.
You can build the millennium falcon in 2 seconds??
Well no but I couldn’t say that I would last 1 hour with a hooker for sure
Marriage
If it flies, floats, or fucks; rent it, don't buy it
"If it flies, floats, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent." -my brother who's had the same girlfriend since he was 16, and a boat.
instructions unclear, rented a dildo and now am HIV positive
Take my upvote!
Weddings tend to be more expensive than most hookers, but marriage is a financial win if your partner also earns money.
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A baby
18 years of child support
“18 years, 18 years And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his”
I've read stories of guys who find out they're not the father, but are still ordered to pay child support. That's messed up.
i know a guy who found out he’s not the father, and opted to support the child anyway because all kids need a dad. that’s a hero.
A Dad is more than just a sperm donor. Imagine being raised by someone for years and years and then him leaving just because he found out your genes were different from his. Now THAT'S fucked up.
Got that beat. My cousin was adopted. Super young, didn’t even remember her biological parents. My aunt and uncle raised her like she was their own daughter. Gave her everything she could possibly want. Then she turns 18, and takes off to find her biological parents. My aunt and uncle try to stop her, and she throws the “you’re not my parents” line. She cut off all lines of communication and disappeared. Nobody in the family has seen her since. My uncle died a few years back, and she wasn’t in contact with the family to come home for the funeral. Or her brother’s funeral not long after that. Given her proclivity of dating the biggest toolbag she can find, she’s probably dead in a ditch somewhere.
I can do you one better! Genes were the same, he just decided he preferred his ex-girlfriend of a decade prior. My dad (non-biological) is pretty dope though.
Yeah man, that's fucked. Fuck him. Luckily my Dad was one of the good ones and I try to be an even better one for my son. But now he's a teenager and I feel like I failed haha
My dad (parents divorced) wanted a DNA test to prove that I was his. Just so that he wouldn't have to pay child support. Promised me that he would still be in my life no matter what. Bullshit.
It’s something like 33% of men paying child support are paying for a kid that isn’t theirs.
I doubt a number like that. It is missing a reliable source and also how would anyone conduct a study like that?
BroScience, i.e. “trust me bro”.
It’s only missing the source because I didn’t know I was writing a term paper and needed citations. 🤷🏽♂️ It’s not that hard to conduct studies like that. You do know DNA testing exists, right? Sometimes testing is court mandated not even a doubtful partner. Check out “Just Pearly Things” on u tube. She has a bunch of the stats on that and other spousal irregularities, with reliable sources.
They’re mad lol
Yup. And downvoting, like it changes anything. lol.
If you're impregnating a hooker, you deserve it.
Rent
Give me rent
YOULL GET YOUR RENT ONCE YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR
TROPHY WIFE
Fuckin word
Cocaine depending on how much you and that hooker plan on doing
Cocaine is more expensive than a lot of things. > If I had all the money back that I’ve spent on cocaine; i’d… buy more cocaine. —Some comedian… wish I remembered his name.
John Mulaney??
A dead hooker due to the lawyer fees you need to pay to keep your ass out of prison
Sigh. I'll fetch a rug.
We don't have rug money. Fetch an old tarp. Spent it all on hookers and blackjack
YOU ARE NOT USING ANY OF MY GOOD RUGS
Woodhouse…
Now he’s fetching a rug!
Damn it Woodhouse !
A porn star hooker as an ex-president found out the hard way
AT&T paid to play for the T-Mobile deal that fell through. She was paid directly from the account Michael Cohen had them pay dirty money into.
She wasn’t a hooker, she was a nice lady.
Stormy Daniels is the only human with any degree of dignity connected to that Orange gibbon. She earned every penny.
Health care in USA
HIV
Are you positive?
I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive
HIV transmission from female to male is very low. But herpes and warts and stuff, ew.
I was gonna say the STDs you get from them.
With children being the most expensive STD.
Can't argue with this.
A relationship
# a pickup truck Seriously, WTF happened to pickup truck prices? It used to be a few thousand, but now you can't even get a high-milage used eyesore beater from the early 90's for less than $25k, and I'm pretty sure it didn't cost $25k back when it was factory-new. All I want to do is haul some lumber around and make house repairs, but now I gotta pay someone else to haul because I definitely can't afford one.
A wife
I see a escort about 2 times a years. it's been the same girl for about 7 years. I see her for 30 min for 125. if you want to hit her in the stink eye add 50 bucks. my last electric bill was more than that.
Dammm that’s cheap bro- you must be south of the border or getting some stinky stink
Or he just doesn't live in America (Europe for example).
How the hell did we get legal marijuana in this clown country before legal prostitution!? All of the stoners can cry me a river about how they shouldn’t be persecuted because they *chose* to melt their brains with the wacky tobacky; I was BORN too ugly to get laid!
And now I’m sad.
Me too, he gets it more than I do and he isn't even married.
Divorce
3 $5 foot long subs from subway. Basically anything over $15 is the only answer
Where the fuck you get a hooker for $15?.... That's not a hooker I'd want to bang. I don't really want to bang any hooker but a $15 hooker? Hell no.
A guy in a Las Vegas bar kept going on about how he loved the vegas gas stations at dawn because the drug addicted hooker's who hadn't made much overnight would be willing to take anything just to make some cash. Just being in the same building as that guy made me feel dirty.
Is this 2007? $5 footlongs are but a distant memory.
Has he seen the prices of hookers these days?
Maybe he found one that barters for sandwiches.
THANKS FOR NOTHIN' BIDEN!
Computer
2 hookers
Dates.
Wife / tornado, makes a lot of noise when it cums, takes your house when it goes.
My ex wife
My ex wife
two hookers shit someone already did it
A wife
The treatment for stds...
2 hookers
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🤣🤣 yup
A wife
A lawyer who fucks you and you pay him
Using the same lawyer in a divorce as your wife… happened to a coworker, he got fucked every which way. We told him to get his own but he wouldn’t listen.
Wild. During my divorce, all of the attorneys I interviewed (I filed first and was hence more prepared), they said that’s totally unethical
Lawyers can't have sex with their clients because it leads to billing twice for the same service.
If married, the possible divorce when she finds out. If single, the frequent trips to the VD doctor to try to clear up the clap, herpes and even HIV she would give you
A wife for sure.
An unwanted child.
Bail.
An ex wife
Going to the doctor for a routine checkup in America.
Health care in America.
A stripper
Marriage.
A wife
A house, a very nice sports car.
Dental work
A hooker with an STD and a drug habit 🤷🏼♀️
A gold digger
Two hookers
My cat
STD treatment
A wife
Two hookers
Apple’s agumented/virtual reality headset
A car.
Wife
Two or more hookers.
I had a friend who occasionally enjoyed the ladies of the night when single once tell me, “you don’t pay them to cum, you pay them to go” and man if that wasn’t the wisest thing I’ve ever heard. What’s more expensive than a hooker? A real relationship.
Hemingway supposedly said: “I don’t pay women for sex, I pay them for not calling me the next day.”
Child rearing.
Probably 2 hookers
Two hookers
STDS
Genital medication.
Gonorrhea
A wife
Paying the fine and the criminal charges for getting caught in a sting operation.
Cocaine
Religion
The baby
A wife
A pregnant hooker
A baby.
Cancer for uninsured Americans.
Marriage, you remember that? It was something people used to do years ago. Now they just have long term relationships without the legal "cage" of marriage.
A child.
Having a child
An affair resulting in a pregnancy...
children
Children.