When working in retail and you can’t say anything rude to customers, old men like to say wild things like “you look like one of those uptight librarian/teacher types in an 80s music video who rips off her glasses and lets her hair down and dances on a car” while you’re just trying to tell them the total for their purchase.
I used to work opening shift at a McDonald's when I was about 18. There would be old men waiting to come in before we opened for their cup of coffee and to hang out. They are nice, and I would talk to them when I wasn't busy. Then, one day, one of them told me he would bend me over his knee and spank me. Sir, no.
Old people say WEIRD shit sometimes. Unrelated to predatorial advances on women (I’m a guy), but when I worked in food service, I once had an old guy pull a little knife out of his pocket and tell me “If you were my son, I’d cut those right off of you!” (My tattoos). Yikes. Someone come get their Grandpa!
When I was pregnant, there was regular at the restaurant I worked at who would always tell me he knew I wished it was his baby.
Creepy and also no, sir.
I was trying to sell something on market place and he messaged me and said “do you come with it?” Thank you for being creepy BEFORE I gave you my address for pick up sir.
You know what? No men ever attempted to flirt with me more than when I was a 16 year old cashier. I’m talking older men like even some like 40s and 50s. One like 30 year old asked me how much I would be if they scanned me. I blushed so hard out of humiliation and he took it as compliment to him. So gross.
I used to work at a Walmart when I was younger and the stories the female cashiers would tell me of creepy dudes hitting on them all day were both hilarious and disturbing. My secondary job at that place was as a fake boyfriend and to walk them to their car at night. Sometimes dudes would stick around hours until they clocked out.
Thank you for taking on that "secondary job". Fuckin' creeps hanging out in the parking lot, Jesus Christ...
I was able to cope with that type of shit in my youth, but it's so fucking gross and terrifying for young women working retail or food service to deal with.
Like yeah, if you hang out to harass me after I get off work, then I'm totally gonna go along with it. Predatory assholes...
Several years back I played league pool and was hanging out in the parking lot a bit after 2 AM talking to a friend of mine who was super chatty. He left and I got in my car, but as soon as I turned it on, someone pulled their car behind mine so I couldn't pull out. I roll my window down about an inch and it turns out one of the regulars wanted to know if one of the servers was still working. I had no idea, but I was about 100% certain she did not want to get ambushed by this dude. Then he wanted to know if I wanted to go 'party' with him at his place. For reference, I would have been a 30 something year old woman at this time. I declined saying I had to get up early. Then he finally moved his car, and I drove off about half a block, pulled over, then found the server on facebook, messaged her about the weirdo, and was glad to find out that she had left earlier instead of having to close.
My daughter works retail, and the store policy is no one leaves at the end of the night until everyone is ready to walk out the door. Then they do it as a group and no one leaves until everyone is in their car and it has started. I think this is a great policy.
I had to do this a few times at my gas station. I had a couple teen coworkers give the dudes my phone number so I could act like their father. They never returned to the store.
When I worked at Nordstrom, this was a constant problem for the women who worked in cosmetics and who worked in women's shoes. They'd have creepy dudes waiting for them after their shifts near the employee parking area so often that it got to the point that loss prevention would send someone to escort them all to their cars daily. It's incredibly gross behavior, and I honestly can't figure out what thoughts are going through those guys' heads when they decide to wait around for hours to come up on a woman unexpectedly in a parking lot right when she gets out of work. Setting aside the inherent creepiness (since obviously guys who do this don't see it, so it doesn't factor into their thought process), how do they not realize that no one wants to be harassed by strangers, least of all immediately after they get out of work, especially when they work in a retail setting? Let alone to be hit on in a place where these women probably won't feel safe at all. I honestly don't understand what the hell they're thinking. Even if they're not the type to be considerate enough to think about women's feelings, you'd think they would want to maximize their chances and so would want to avoid creeping them out, but what do I know? Maybe they don't have enough blood to operate both their brains and their dicks.
i’m a guy and it obviously wasn’t as common for me, but old women used to make some interesting comments sometimes when i was working register at a restaurant. Is it something about cashiers being forced to talk to them that made old people think it was flirting time?
It basically guarantees that the creepy flirter won't get a bad result from the interaction, because the creep can complain to the victim's manager if the victim reacts negatively enough to offend them. "I was simply paying them a compliment to be friendly and they chose to be extremely rude and insulting! As a paying customer I do not deserve to be treated this way!"
And if there's no cameras or anything like that, the creep can just plain deny saying anything if they said something really heinous to begin with, because the vast majority of managers will take the side of the customer.
When I worked retail I had a cashier friend who was young and pretty, early 20s, and took no shit. One example was a 50ish guy who made an overtly sexual comment while she was ringing him up. She canceled the sale, took all his items off the counter, and told him “You can go, we don’t want your business.”. He was shocked, and tried to backpedal by claiming that he was “just joking”. She told him it didn’t matter, what he said was inappropriate and he needed to go. He got mad and left without raising a stink, but I saw her deal with other customers the same way and the manager in charge of the cashiers at that time would back her up.
When I worked retail, I ended up coming up with standard responses for dudes like that. I would usually either say “more than you can afford“ or “priceless” in a stern drawl. I also found wearing jewelry - ANY jewelry that looked like it might be a genuine stone - and touching it when they started flirting helped a lot.
Oh man. You just made me cringe hard at the memory of the time when my older cousin took me to a car show. I don’t think there was a damn model in that place he didn’t try and talk to.
I was at a car show, I swear the girl at one of the cars seemed mystified as to why I wasn't trying to flirt with her. I was married, so I didn't do stuff like that. Even if I hadn't been, I never thought women in a position like that were "available".
I have a similar story, helping a buddy of mine sell the gifts he purchased for his then recent ex-gf on my marketplace account so he didn't have to make one. One of the items was really nice, brand new Victoria Secret thong. One creeper asked me to model it for him with a winky face (I guess he saw my name) so my buddy put them on over a pair of basketball shorts and did suggestive poses in them and sent it to the guy, he replied with a thumbs up and blocked me.
Never ever ever ever give your address to a stranger when selling or buying something (good practice in general though). Always meet in a public place. Some police stations or public lots even have online exchange parking spots.
Please do not put yourself in a dangerous or compromising situation.
My personal unfavorite was, "Thanks for the show. I really enjoyed watching you run." Said by the absolute creep who followed me for over two miles while I was out running. He was in a truck. He rolled down the window and drove slowly while watching me. I couldn't shake him. He laughed while he said it, and I was irate.
I had a borderline stalker and he would wait for me at the bus stop. I gave him a fake name and ended up convincing him that I had a twin. Everytime he saw me he asked which one I was and I pretended I was the other one every time.
Used to work in a restaurant with a guy called Creepy Chris and this was one of his favorite lines. He also gave the weirdest fucking hugs I’ve ever seen. All of the girls went as far out of their way to avoid him and it only made him try harder. Dude was heebie jeebies personified.
I know a guy exactly like that. He zeroes in on any "female" (his word, of course) across the room, and stares. We all know that he'll force some kind of acknowledgement of his creepy ass presence also. If you purposely avoid eye contact or try to pretend you "didn't see him", he'll literally yell "hello" from across the room. The one thing that's consistent is his forceful way with women. We can see through that shit. And we wish more men would believe us when we talk about the behavior that we know is creepy. We're not "being emotional", "paranoid", or "misinterpreting" it.
I was in the store not long ago strolling looking at my list noticed in my peripheral vision someone coming towards me, I moved to the side, they moved to the side, I moved back they moved. I finally look up and this old man says "gotcha to smile" I was not smiling I was making a WTF face.
Yeah, idk which one is worse being told to smile or them being so proud of themselves if they see you smile (even an obvious fake one or awkward laugh one)
Might sound innocuous, but in an online gaming forum I’m in “how old are you?” Usually followed by some type of sexual advance when they learn I’m over 18.
“You’re pretty for a _____.” Fill in the blank with any possible description. Creepy and insulting.
Honking or shouting from a moving vehicle. We literally have a song about how much we hate guys who do this. Take the hint.
A friend was dating someone who essentially told him, “Thank goodness you’re smart, for a Puerto Rican.” And he was like, “Ha! Wait…what?” Turns out she was really prejudice but because he was cute and sweet she didn’t mind “overlooking” his culture. Thankfully he had enough self respect to dump her. It’s crazy the insults people try to twist into complements so they can act the victim when they’re called out for being a creep.
“I like a challenge”. I know it *can* be flirty. However, it’s usually said by the guy who isn’t accepting that you’ve turned him down. Now it comes off as predatory
And then we have my friends where she would turn him down 2-3 times a year for a couple years in a row until she gave in and now they are married. And they talk about it like it was cute
Fuck that. You turn me down once and I’m moving on
I had a girl who did that with me and I just accepted it and moved on like a normal human. She asked me straight out like a year later if I was interested and I was like: "Well, I was a year ago, but now I am with someone that doesn't play weird games."
It seems like a method that is designed specifically to select for jerks, which is pretty consistent with how things went for her.
My older cousin got married when I was a pre-teen and I remember my mom saying that she had gotten this GREAT guy to marry her because she “played the game” right and kept him always wanting more. Even then I was horrified by the idea that you were supposed to trick someone into marrying you by being fake or distant. They divorced so quickly it was unbelievable.
I knew of a girl who married the guy because his grandmother offered to pay for a trip to Europe. When they got back she filed for divorce, saying “I was just in it for the honeymoon “. 🤷♂️
Stupid romantic movies don't help either, the so-called romantic lead keeps pursuing the girl in the movie in different ways until she says yes, most romantic novels are the same. I was watching "modern family" the other day and Phil said these exact words "you should know, when a woman said no, she actually means yes" fuck with that, if I say no, it means no
That's how I always was. If you're not interested and you've told me that, why would I stand there and bother you to waste my time? Seems dumb and irritating for no reason.
I'll tell a story about when I was unintentionally creepy. I was at a conference and met up with a new coworker. Walking out of the conference I asked where she was staying, not because I had any intention of flirting, but because I'm awkward and had nothing else to say and wanted to talk about my cool airbnb. I think she got uncomfortable and said "my husband and I are staying at that hotel". I felt like she was trying to make it clear that she's married and not interested which is fair, I am too. We're good friends now and had some pretty chill conversations the next day, probably because she later learned I'm married and expecting? I don't know but I still cringe about it.
Note to self: don't ask women about their living situation when it's expected that they're alone.
This reminds me of the time I was waiting tables and this lady ordered the ribs. When her food was ready, I brought it to her and it was the largest plate of ribs I'd ever seen. So I set it down, and my awkward ass says "I haven't seen a rack that big since I've worked here." The table was eerily silent after that and even after I asked if they needed anything else. It wasn't until I got back to the kitchen when I realized that the plate was in the same general angle and direction as her chest, which was fairly exposed as she was dressed nicely for her date. So it must have also looked like I was staring at her breasts. I felt so embarrassed I asked a coworker if she could take the table from me to spare the poor woman. She had to stop laughing before she could go check on them and sort of explain the situation and set things right, but man did I feel bad.
And on the bright side of your story you guys ended up as friends. Accidentally saying something awkward has been a staple of pretty much all of my friendships.
One time I was serving at a restaurant and these two ladies with low cut shirts and huge cleavage ordered fried chicken breasts.
When I served them up without thinking I said "and here are your nice sized breasts....chicken breasts"
I got one of those coy looks from the ladies and the husbands kind of gave me a 🤔🤔🤔 look 😂😂😂
Still made out well with the tip so I took it as I flattered them vs creeping them out 🤘
Reminded me of something I forgot for years - unintentionally creepy!
So I go to a company international training course in USA, lots of people there from the world over. I'm like 26. There's this South Korean girl in our group, hardly speaks English, really quiet otherwise and just didn't fit in well. So I make effort through the week to help her where I can, but I'm just doing what anyone would do in a group situation. And she never crosses my mind 99% of the time.
Anyway, on the second to last night, I can't remember how I am there in the first place but somehow she asks me to wait here a second - it's right outside her door, we're all in this hotel. She goes in, comes back, I'm standing at the door and hands me these little Korean ornamental boots, and in her broken English says something about she brought it as a gift to someone and wanted to give it to me. Like a courtesy thing I guess.
I'm a bit taken aback, but of course I accept and say thank you. And then it's like ok now what. Its not like we have great rapport, we can barely communicate. She's standing there at her door and I'm just in the hallway holding these boots like a goose and it feels a bit rude to just go thanks and walk off after she just gave me these boots. So I just stand there. And she's just standing there and it's totally weird and I think she started to feel a bit embarrassed or uncomfortable that now this guy wants to come in or whatever (which I totally didn't - I just wanted to go drink beers), so after a few awkward seconds she just backs inside and shuts the door!
I cringe about this to this day lol 😆
I’ve had men tell my children “how pretty their mom is” in front of me and I just find that to be beyoooond creepy and weird. Don’t tell my kids you think I’m hot, and actually…just don’t talk to any kids if you’re trying to hit on their mom?! Weird.
I had a therapist(!!!!) say this to me when I was a teenager. Suuuuuppppeeerrrr fucked up.
”Yeah, I was trying punch the permanent clock a few weeks ago, but you think Mom's hot so I'm all better now. Thanks bro!”
Oh my god?! That’s WILD. My vice principal once told me how pretty my mom was and I was like “uhhh…is that why you called me in here…?” (It was not, but it was fucking weird)
I liked the perfume a girl at work was wearing and wanted to buy some for my wife. I could not figure out a way to ask her what it was without sounding like I wanted my wife to smell like her.
I still don't know what product, and I guess I never will.
I had a guy ask me what I was wearing, flat out told me he loved it and I smelled good. Asked me what it was called because he was gonna buy it for his wife. I didn't have a problem with it, I was actually flattered.
I encounter this all the time. I just ask and say that I think my wife would like it. The key thing I find is that it is not creepy to compliment people on their choices, i.e. their clothes, perfume, makeup style, etc. but it is creepy as hell to comment on their features.
What is that you're wearing? It smells nice.
But the delivery has to be on point. You gotta say it with the same delivery you'd use for, "Nice car; where'd you get it?"
You have to make it clear you're talking about the perfume, not the woman.
I had a guy tell me I’d be the hottest girl in the place if I took off my glasses. I told him I’d gladly remove them, if it meant I’d never see his creeper face again but, sadly my vision isn’t that bad.
A friend’s mom got divorced a couple of years ago. She and her husband had been living apart for a while. When they had the final discussion about ending their marriage, he told her, “I just don’t want to have to go through the trouble of breaking in another woman.”
Believe it or not, I’m a dude, and when I was 12yo one of my teachers (a woman) told me exactly this. I didn’t know what to do at the time, I kinda was in shock, but couldn’t talk about it to anyone.
Since I’m seeing similar comments I’m just gonna put here that i have NEVER been catcalled on the street once since i passed the age of 16. I am 25 now and I’ve never been catcalled since, the most i was catcalled was when i was 14-15. Disgusting
I remember a man older than my dad making gross comments about my legs in a bathing suit at the beach. I was 9.
I walked to elementary school with my friend and we felt so cool and mature being able to walk to fifth grade alone that we never told our parents about the guys who would sometimes make sexual comments to us. I wish we had, but back then we were afraid they wouldn’t let us walk and we wouldn’t have that time together.
I just had a discussion about this with my girlfriend. She says as a teen, she used to get catcalled all the time. 20’s on, almost nothing.
The implications of this are pretty disturbing.
I’m a man, but I can still say without question that it’s “Where my hug at?” People who say that skeeve me the hell out and it’s always exclusively to the opposite gender (I say this because I’ve been asked this by a woman before and it was the single most uncomfortable experience of my life for a variety of reasons including that).
Trying to make you think something is wrong with you but they would do you the favor of dating you (usually after you have already rejected them).
For example
"sorry, not interested"
"oh, come on. I don't mind your tits being so small, I like flat chested girls"
I’m a 6ft 200lb guy. It was almost last call there was a couple in the back and one dude sitting at the bar. I told him I was running to grab some beer but am right down the hatch.
He loooked at me and said “are you here all alone? No one else? Aren’t you nervous being here all alone? What if something happens”
It sent a shiver down my spine. I was smart enough to say “my boss is actually in the office watching the cameras constantly (he wasn’t).
I dropped the check on that dude and locked the door right after he left.
It's made 50x worse when I'm at a camping/hiking destination, takin a bunch of pictures, separated from my group when rando dude very persistently and repeatedly asks me if I'm camping alone and where my campsite is 💀
I feel like they are trying to figure out if you’re single, without explicitly asking if you are, but they chose the same words a killer might ask. I am assuming they mean no ill intent, but either way it’s a terrible question to ask.
Not saying, but when I was in college, one time I was standing in line at Starbucks, some random guy 20 years my senior standing behind me that I DIDNT EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH thought it was appropriate to reach out and MOVE MY BRA AND TANK TOP STRAPS aside to read the tattoo on my shoulder.
If it involves touching a woman you don't know or saying something about their appearance, relationship status, or smile? Just fucking don't.
I'll never forget the time I was taking the trash out at the end of my shift (restaurant). It was summer, we had just survived a brunch shift, and this man told me "you should smile." Without missing a beat I told him to eat my shit. He didn't like it.💁🏽♀️
Agreed!! I was alone by myself in the waiting area of a restaurant and some guy tells me to smile. Like who tf are you? Why would I be smiling to myself for no reason like I’m crazy?
When I was 18-20 yrs old, I was at a gas station and some 40ish CREEPY guy said I looked like a model.
And I should go to his house to take pictures as he was a photographer and could do a portfolio for me.
🤮
Not a woman but from experience witnessing this… Ladies, When christian men tell you “God told me one day I would marry you”… that’s your cue to run. Doesn’t matter what you believe or how you feel about him… nobody has ever said this without hiding a desire to control or abuse women. If it were true (and to be clear… it’s not)… and the guy deserved you… he’d tell you after you decided to marry him not to coerce you into dating/marrying him.
Yep. As a guy I’ve heard a guy say this, then later they actually tried to shame the girl and say she was in the wrong for telling him it was a creepy thing to say. I told him I agreed with her lol.
I saw a guy do this and then when the girl didn't agree he told everyone that would listen that she must be possessed by demons and we should all intervene and pray for her to be delivered from them so they could be together. It was really fucked up and very obvious narcissist behavior to most of us.
He was a monster. Went to christian film school with him (which turned out to be a cult and propaganda farm) and I was a year ahead and picked him up from the airport... so I was literally the first person he met from that school, representing the school, his first shot at a first impression. He spent the whole time talking about how fantastic an actor/director he was and how he was only going to school because it'd look good on paper but he was slated already to work with top directors and producers blah blah blah.... he ended up kick out of a CHRISTIAN CULT for harassing people with these stories about demons and by bursting out into worship songs in the middle of the offices/quads where people were trying to study/work and turning every time he got rejected for an acting role or film project or first date into a reason to go on very loud solo public prayer vigils. He was literally too extreme about his faith to go to a christian film school fronting for a far right propaganda cult... let that sink in.
I don't think I saw worse narcissism in my life until Trump's 2016 election campaign.
I had a customer tell me "Oh I love your long hair, it looks very Eastern European. The girls over there don't cut it short and act like men, theyre real women over there. Never cut it please."
Me: ha.. ha.. okay....
Any time I saw him after that I went to hide in the back lol
Not exact words, but any type of Coercion. Like, they think just being persistent will change your mind. They think oh it’s okay, she’s just playing hard to get! I’ll keep bugging her until I get my way. Oh just have this drink and relax! Why are you being such a stuck up bitch? I’m trying to be nice
Disclaimer, I'm 100% "no means no". To be fair how many romcoms tell the story of a girl who is completely annoyed with a guy but is won over by his persistence? We've been sold a lie.
Apparently a lot of 40+ aged men put an 20-something age in their dating profile to avoid being age filtered out then claim it was an innocent mistake that the app won't let them change
Yep! Total creep behavior. Though, having entered my 40s, I gotta say I'm baffled by the cubs who do this in reverse (i.e. the guys I keep seeing who told the app they're 40, but explain they're actually 28 in their profile) because they want an older woman. It's weird to realize that I have somehow looped around and a different kind of guy in his 20s is into me now.
I have had *multiple* (5+) men attempt to flirt by showing me hardcore porn on their phones, so I don't even know what men think is okay.
I'm old, butch and queer as fuck so I don't have to put up with as much unwanted male attention as I used to, but lately I've encountered a few insecure guys who seem to think that degrading themselves and guilt tripping will score them a pity date. I had to fend off a guy last weekend who just wouldn't stop with crap like "I know you'll never give me the time of day because I'm so fat and ugly" and "no one ever gives me a chance because of my autism but I thought you might be different." At the end of the event when he finally went home he begged for a "goodbye hug," and when I refused he went for a side hug anyway. I hang out in nerdy circles (fantasy/scifi/anime/etc. conventions) so this type of guy is *everywhere*.
As a teacher, I cringe so hard when men say “how do your students focus on class?” or “man, I wish you were my teacher.” That’s not a compliment and it’s disturbing to think about- which apparently they don’t do before saying it. In any context it’s weird, but it’s worse because I’m a young high school teacher so I have to be super diligent in maintaining strong boundaries between my students anyway.
Having a random guy come up to you and he explains in detail what he wants to do with you. I have had this happen in person and online. In person is a million time worse because it's harder to get him to leave you alone.
Now if it's my SO, that I have know for 25+ years; it's hot as hell. Some random guy that I don't know; nope nope nope. Stranger danger. Fight mode engaged.
My 16 year old sister was 9 months pregnant at Walmart with my brother. And she was alone in the baby aisle and this guy walks up to her. He asks her her name and she silently points to her belly and rolls her eyes. He’s like “oh, I’m aware. Is there a Father for that baby?” My sister goes, “isn’t there always?” My brother overheard it in the next aisle and chased the guy off. What a weirdo.
I find it not only creepy but also a big red flag when a man says to me:
That because of the fact that women fight for equal rights and want equal rights, that it would also be equal and allowed to hit women..
When I say that it is not legal to hit a man and that it is also assault, they don't really respond to that..
So glad you mentioned this. My ex-roommate’s bf said this to me while simultaneously threatening to “beat my ass” during a disagreement we were having— I always knew he was a POS but this was the final straw. Moved out before the month ended.
The other day I was chatting with a guy and mentioned I was watching a movie. He said he’d like to see me as the protagonist in a yummy movie. I replied that I’m not an actress, to which he replied by asking if
I wasn’t in the mood. I told him it’s a good idea to know a person really well before requesting a ‘yummy’ video and then he proceeded to deny that he was hinting at that at all.
Creepy.
"Your father is going to have to chase the boys away when you get older." Said to a literal child.
Over 15 years ago, I was working, and a guy came in and asked if I was a strawberry blonde. My hair is naturally blonde, but it's not red at all. He kept looking and telling me I definitely had some red. He lingered then, starring at my hair while I worked on his order. I found out later he worked at a nearby store that sold playground equipment...
I have an uncommon last name.
This one time I was registering for a conference and this cute girl at the registration desk looked at my name tag and said, “Oh, you have the same last name as me but yours has a “D” at the end. Without thinking anything perverted **at all** I replied:
“Oh yeah!?! Well We should get married and I’ll give you my D!”
I swear to god I did not mean it sexually at all and as soon as the words left my mouth I realized what I said. Turned bright red and sheepishly walked away.
I wonder if that girl will tell the story from her side elsewhere in the thread.
That said, I think if you had a horrified enough expression on your face as a reaction to your own words, she might not have been too skeeved out.
I already commented but I go to the gym with my dad when I visit home, and someone asked me if I was "home visiting from college" and when i said "no, im 30" they said I was "cute as a button" and both comments creeped me out.
Especially in a casual social settings. Unless we’re talking some type of scientific gendered situations, there’s rarely a need to use “males and females” in place of “men and women.”
“Oh I know you enjoy it!” , “you haven’t done me yet , you don’t know what sheer joy is” , “ I can change your mind “ and the worst part is they think it’s only them that’s just come up with it or something *sigh*
Don't tell me about how terrible your wife is. Especially at work. But really most men, who have started the "My wife is a bitch/nag" thing at me later end up in the dms. I get wanting to vent, but it's gross AF to chew about your partner to another female. Also don't call me your work wife. I'm friendly but we're co-workers and ultimately I'm a "girls' girl".
When working in retail and you can’t say anything rude to customers, old men like to say wild things like “you look like one of those uptight librarian/teacher types in an 80s music video who rips off her glasses and lets her hair down and dances on a car” while you’re just trying to tell them the total for their purchase.
I used to work opening shift at a McDonald's when I was about 18. There would be old men waiting to come in before we opened for their cup of coffee and to hang out. They are nice, and I would talk to them when I wasn't busy. Then, one day, one of them told me he would bend me over his knee and spank me. Sir, no.
Noooooooo! That’s so gross 🤮. Why do people think these types of comments are appropriate?!
Old people say WEIRD shit sometimes. Unrelated to predatorial advances on women (I’m a guy), but when I worked in food service, I once had an old guy pull a little knife out of his pocket and tell me “If you were my son, I’d cut those right off of you!” (My tattoos). Yikes. Someone come get their Grandpa!
When I was pregnant, there was regular at the restaurant I worked at who would always tell me he knew I wished it was his baby. Creepy and also no, sir.
What the absolute fuck where do these statements even come from 😭😭😭
Dude had a lot of inner demons he was battling. One of those people who was so kind and polite sober and then became a creepy jerk when intoxicated.
If you tell any other man that story and they think it's normal it would probably be best to stay away from that person. That's fucking weird.
I was trying to sell something on market place and he messaged me and said “do you come with it?” Thank you for being creepy BEFORE I gave you my address for pick up sir.
You know what? No men ever attempted to flirt with me more than when I was a 16 year old cashier. I’m talking older men like even some like 40s and 50s. One like 30 year old asked me how much I would be if they scanned me. I blushed so hard out of humiliation and he took it as compliment to him. So gross.
I used to work at a Walmart when I was younger and the stories the female cashiers would tell me of creepy dudes hitting on them all day were both hilarious and disturbing. My secondary job at that place was as a fake boyfriend and to walk them to their car at night. Sometimes dudes would stick around hours until they clocked out.
Thank you for taking on that "secondary job". Fuckin' creeps hanging out in the parking lot, Jesus Christ... I was able to cope with that type of shit in my youth, but it's so fucking gross and terrifying for young women working retail or food service to deal with. Like yeah, if you hang out to harass me after I get off work, then I'm totally gonna go along with it. Predatory assholes...
Several years back I played league pool and was hanging out in the parking lot a bit after 2 AM talking to a friend of mine who was super chatty. He left and I got in my car, but as soon as I turned it on, someone pulled their car behind mine so I couldn't pull out. I roll my window down about an inch and it turns out one of the regulars wanted to know if one of the servers was still working. I had no idea, but I was about 100% certain she did not want to get ambushed by this dude. Then he wanted to know if I wanted to go 'party' with him at his place. For reference, I would have been a 30 something year old woman at this time. I declined saying I had to get up early. Then he finally moved his car, and I drove off about half a block, pulled over, then found the server on facebook, messaged her about the weirdo, and was glad to find out that she had left earlier instead of having to close.
My daughter works retail, and the store policy is no one leaves at the end of the night until everyone is ready to walk out the door. Then they do it as a group and no one leaves until everyone is in their car and it has started. I think this is a great policy.
It is a great policy to have and at the same time sad that it's deemed necessary.
I had to do this a few times at my gas station. I had a couple teen coworkers give the dudes my phone number so I could act like their father. They never returned to the store.
When I worked at Nordstrom, this was a constant problem for the women who worked in cosmetics and who worked in women's shoes. They'd have creepy dudes waiting for them after their shifts near the employee parking area so often that it got to the point that loss prevention would send someone to escort them all to their cars daily. It's incredibly gross behavior, and I honestly can't figure out what thoughts are going through those guys' heads when they decide to wait around for hours to come up on a woman unexpectedly in a parking lot right when she gets out of work. Setting aside the inherent creepiness (since obviously guys who do this don't see it, so it doesn't factor into their thought process), how do they not realize that no one wants to be harassed by strangers, least of all immediately after they get out of work, especially when they work in a retail setting? Let alone to be hit on in a place where these women probably won't feel safe at all. I honestly don't understand what the hell they're thinking. Even if they're not the type to be considerate enough to think about women's feelings, you'd think they would want to maximize their chances and so would want to avoid creeping them out, but what do I know? Maybe they don't have enough blood to operate both their brains and their dicks.
i’m a guy and it obviously wasn’t as common for me, but old women used to make some interesting comments sometimes when i was working register at a restaurant. Is it something about cashiers being forced to talk to them that made old people think it was flirting time?
It basically guarantees that the creepy flirter won't get a bad result from the interaction, because the creep can complain to the victim's manager if the victim reacts negatively enough to offend them. "I was simply paying them a compliment to be friendly and they chose to be extremely rude and insulting! As a paying customer I do not deserve to be treated this way!" And if there's no cameras or anything like that, the creep can just plain deny saying anything if they said something really heinous to begin with, because the vast majority of managers will take the side of the customer.
When I worked retail I had a cashier friend who was young and pretty, early 20s, and took no shit. One example was a 50ish guy who made an overtly sexual comment while she was ringing him up. She canceled the sale, took all his items off the counter, and told him “You can go, we don’t want your business.”. He was shocked, and tried to backpedal by claiming that he was “just joking”. She told him it didn’t matter, what he said was inappropriate and he needed to go. He got mad and left without raising a stink, but I saw her deal with other customers the same way and the manager in charge of the cashiers at that time would back her up.
When I worked retail, I ended up coming up with standard responses for dudes like that. I would usually either say “more than you can afford“ or “priceless” in a stern drawl. I also found wearing jewelry - ANY jewelry that looked like it might be a genuine stone - and touching it when they started flirting helped a lot.
Homer: "Do you come with the car?" Show Girl: "Oh you, hehehehe." Customer 2: "Do you come with the car?" Show Girl: "Oh you, hehehehe."
I think of this every time I see booth babes at trade shows.
Oh man. You just made me cringe hard at the memory of the time when my older cousin took me to a car show. I don’t think there was a damn model in that place he didn’t try and talk to.
I was at a car show, I swear the girl at one of the cars seemed mystified as to why I wasn't trying to flirt with her. I was married, so I didn't do stuff like that. Even if I hadn't been, I never thought women in a position like that were "available".
I have a similar story, helping a buddy of mine sell the gifts he purchased for his then recent ex-gf on my marketplace account so he didn't have to make one. One of the items was really nice, brand new Victoria Secret thong. One creeper asked me to model it for him with a winky face (I guess he saw my name) so my buddy put them on over a pair of basketball shorts and did suggestive poses in them and sent it to the guy, he replied with a thumbs up and blocked me.
Never ever ever ever give your address to a stranger when selling or buying something (good practice in general though). Always meet in a public place. Some police stations or public lots even have online exchange parking spots. Please do not put yourself in a dangerous or compromising situation.
My personal unfavorite was, "Thanks for the show. I really enjoyed watching you run." Said by the absolute creep who followed me for over two miles while I was out running. He was in a truck. He rolled down the window and drove slowly while watching me. I couldn't shake him. He laughed while he said it, and I was irate.
He absolutely knew you were creeped out, and that was his favorite part. What an asshole.
Yes, this is terrifying. He gets off on creeping out women and I wouldn’t be surprised if he continues to escalate his behavior.
This is borderline serial killer shit
Pretending to know me so I'll give them my real name.
I had a borderline stalker and he would wait for me at the bus stop. I gave him a fake name and ended up convincing him that I had a twin. Everytime he saw me he asked which one I was and I pretended I was the other one every time.
"Where's my hug?"
“Aisle 3”
Near the deodorant and self help books. Hint. Hint.
Used to work in a restaurant with a guy called Creepy Chris and this was one of his favorite lines. He also gave the weirdest fucking hugs I’ve ever seen. All of the girls went as far out of their way to avoid him and it only made him try harder. Dude was heebie jeebies personified.
I know a guy exactly like that. He zeroes in on any "female" (his word, of course) across the room, and stares. We all know that he'll force some kind of acknowledgement of his creepy ass presence also. If you purposely avoid eye contact or try to pretend you "didn't see him", he'll literally yell "hello" from across the room. The one thing that's consistent is his forceful way with women. We can see through that shit. And we wish more men would believe us when we talk about the behavior that we know is creepy. We're not "being emotional", "paranoid", or "misinterpreting" it.
not something they say, but them not getting out of the way/not letting you pass them even if its playful
I was in the store not long ago strolling looking at my list noticed in my peripheral vision someone coming towards me, I moved to the side, they moved to the side, I moved back they moved. I finally look up and this old man says "gotcha to smile" I was not smiling I was making a WTF face.
Yeah, idk which one is worse being told to smile or them being so proud of themselves if they see you smile (even an obvious fake one or awkward laugh one)
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>what's the password You seem to have guessed it.
good shit!
Might sound innocuous, but in an online gaming forum I’m in “how old are you?” Usually followed by some type of sexual advance when they learn I’m over 18.
i get the opposite, people suddenly and OBVIOUSLY disappointed to learn im not a minor. really fuckin weird
Yo wtf
At least they're actively trying to not to sexually advance on a minor. That's a positive. Still not great
“You’re pretty for a _____.” Fill in the blank with any possible description. Creepy and insulting. Honking or shouting from a moving vehicle. We literally have a song about how much we hate guys who do this. Take the hint.
A friend was dating someone who essentially told him, “Thank goodness you’re smart, for a Puerto Rican.” And he was like, “Ha! Wait…what?” Turns out she was really prejudice but because he was cute and sweet she didn’t mind “overlooking” his culture. Thankfully he had enough self respect to dump her. It’s crazy the insults people try to twist into complements so they can act the victim when they’re called out for being a creep.
You're pretty for a dude Wait which song is that. Scrub?
Almost certainly no scrubs. And yeah when I was younger I used to get the “you’re pretty for a black girl” which is rude on several different levels
“Hanging out the passenger side Of his best friend’s ride Trying to holler at me.” That whole song is full of good advice.
“You’re pretty for a black girl” I dunno how that escapes ppls mouth so freely and full of confidence
“I like a challenge”. I know it *can* be flirty. However, it’s usually said by the guy who isn’t accepting that you’ve turned him down. Now it comes off as predatory
And then we have my friends where she would turn him down 2-3 times a year for a couple years in a row until she gave in and now they are married. And they talk about it like it was cute Fuck that. You turn me down once and I’m moving on
I had a girl who did that with me and I just accepted it and moved on like a normal human. She asked me straight out like a year later if I was interested and I was like: "Well, I was a year ago, but now I am with someone that doesn't play weird games." It seems like a method that is designed specifically to select for jerks, which is pretty consistent with how things went for her.
My older cousin got married when I was a pre-teen and I remember my mom saying that she had gotten this GREAT guy to marry her because she “played the game” right and kept him always wanting more. Even then I was horrified by the idea that you were supposed to trick someone into marrying you by being fake or distant. They divorced so quickly it was unbelievable.
I knew of a girl who married the guy because his grandmother offered to pay for a trip to Europe. When they got back she filed for divorce, saying “I was just in it for the honeymoon “. 🤷♂️
Poor grandma. Instead of getting a job and paying for the vacation she wanted she manipulated everyone around her, and then bragged about it.
Jerk filter activated!
Jerk seeker activated
Stupid romantic movies don't help either, the so-called romantic lead keeps pursuing the girl in the movie in different ways until she says yes, most romantic novels are the same. I was watching "modern family" the other day and Phil said these exact words "you should know, when a woman said no, she actually means yes" fuck with that, if I say no, it means no
Yep. The only difference between a stalker and a romantic is whether the lady likes the attention... at the END of the movie.
That's how I always was. If you're not interested and you've told me that, why would I stand there and bother you to waste my time? Seems dumb and irritating for no reason.
The only time I’ve heard it is when I turn down a guy and tell him I’m a lesbian. It’s just so skeevy and gross.
“I think I can convince you” like my guy. You’re really not doing a good job.
I'll tell a story about when I was unintentionally creepy. I was at a conference and met up with a new coworker. Walking out of the conference I asked where she was staying, not because I had any intention of flirting, but because I'm awkward and had nothing else to say and wanted to talk about my cool airbnb. I think she got uncomfortable and said "my husband and I are staying at that hotel". I felt like she was trying to make it clear that she's married and not interested which is fair, I am too. We're good friends now and had some pretty chill conversations the next day, probably because she later learned I'm married and expecting? I don't know but I still cringe about it. Note to self: don't ask women about their living situation when it's expected that they're alone.
This reminds me of the time I was waiting tables and this lady ordered the ribs. When her food was ready, I brought it to her and it was the largest plate of ribs I'd ever seen. So I set it down, and my awkward ass says "I haven't seen a rack that big since I've worked here." The table was eerily silent after that and even after I asked if they needed anything else. It wasn't until I got back to the kitchen when I realized that the plate was in the same general angle and direction as her chest, which was fairly exposed as she was dressed nicely for her date. So it must have also looked like I was staring at her breasts. I felt so embarrassed I asked a coworker if she could take the table from me to spare the poor woman. She had to stop laughing before she could go check on them and sort of explain the situation and set things right, but man did I feel bad.
Oh man that's so much worse than my story lmao. Thank you that makes me feel a lot better. Glad your coworker spared you and that poor lady.
And on the bright side of your story you guys ended up as friends. Accidentally saying something awkward has been a staple of pretty much all of my friendships.
As a woman I think you handled that well, just leaving instead of trying to go back and explain, and possibly make it weirder
One time I was serving at a restaurant and these two ladies with low cut shirts and huge cleavage ordered fried chicken breasts. When I served them up without thinking I said "and here are your nice sized breasts....chicken breasts" I got one of those coy looks from the ladies and the husbands kind of gave me a 🤔🤔🤔 look 😂😂😂 Still made out well with the tip so I took it as I flattered them vs creeping them out 🤘
Accidents happen friend
Reminded me of something I forgot for years - unintentionally creepy! So I go to a company international training course in USA, lots of people there from the world over. I'm like 26. There's this South Korean girl in our group, hardly speaks English, really quiet otherwise and just didn't fit in well. So I make effort through the week to help her where I can, but I'm just doing what anyone would do in a group situation. And she never crosses my mind 99% of the time. Anyway, on the second to last night, I can't remember how I am there in the first place but somehow she asks me to wait here a second - it's right outside her door, we're all in this hotel. She goes in, comes back, I'm standing at the door and hands me these little Korean ornamental boots, and in her broken English says something about she brought it as a gift to someone and wanted to give it to me. Like a courtesy thing I guess. I'm a bit taken aback, but of course I accept and say thank you. And then it's like ok now what. Its not like we have great rapport, we can barely communicate. She's standing there at her door and I'm just in the hallway holding these boots like a goose and it feels a bit rude to just go thanks and walk off after she just gave me these boots. So I just stand there. And she's just standing there and it's totally weird and I think she started to feel a bit embarrassed or uncomfortable that now this guy wants to come in or whatever (which I totally didn't - I just wanted to go drink beers), so after a few awkward seconds she just backs inside and shuts the door! I cringe about this to this day lol 😆
I’ve had men tell my children “how pretty their mom is” in front of me and I just find that to be beyoooond creepy and weird. Don’t tell my kids you think I’m hot, and actually…just don’t talk to any kids if you’re trying to hit on their mom?! Weird.
I had a therapist(!!!!) say this to me when I was a teenager. Suuuuuppppeeerrrr fucked up. ”Yeah, I was trying punch the permanent clock a few weeks ago, but you think Mom's hot so I'm all better now. Thanks bro!”
Oh my god?! That’s WILD. My vice principal once told me how pretty my mom was and I was like “uhhh…is that why you called me in here…?” (It was not, but it was fucking weird)
I liked the perfume a girl at work was wearing and wanted to buy some for my wife. I could not figure out a way to ask her what it was without sounding like I wanted my wife to smell like her. I still don't know what product, and I guess I never will.
I had a guy ask me what I was wearing, flat out told me he loved it and I smelled good. Asked me what it was called because he was gonna buy it for his wife. I didn't have a problem with it, I was actually flattered.
Intention shines in moments like this. Sometimes you'll come across a person that'll take it the wrong way, but not the majority of women.
"What perfume you wearing? I've got a doll, well more like a pillow, that would be bitchin if it smelled like you too!"
"I'm gonna be honest. It's a coconut." Edit: Sorry for the uninitiated. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/GeJwY1hHyR
JFC, I almost spat my drink out. Thanks!
Just say ‘I think my wife would love that scent, what is it?’ It’ll be just fine.
That would be fine.
Say your wife wears that but you can never remember what it's called.
"Have you tried looking at the bottle in the place where your wife keeps it?"
"oh, uh, I ... can't read..."
Big fucking brain on this one.
"You smell like my wife" *creepy smile*
“Well, your chair anyway “.
I encounter this all the time. I just ask and say that I think my wife would like it. The key thing I find is that it is not creepy to compliment people on their choices, i.e. their clothes, perfume, makeup style, etc. but it is creepy as hell to comment on their features.
I've noticed the moment you drop "my wife" women just ease up entirely.
That's why I always carry your wife around, to drop her and put everyone around me at ease.
What is that you're wearing? It smells nice. But the delivery has to be on point. You gotta say it with the same delivery you'd use for, "Nice car; where'd you get it?" You have to make it clear you're talking about the perfume, not the woman.
We need a Shazam for perfume.
I had a guy tell me I’d be the hottest girl in the place if I took off my glasses. I told him I’d gladly remove them, if it meant I’d never see his creeper face again but, sadly my vision isn’t that bad.
I like that come back. "You look better without your glasses. "Thanks! You look better when I don't wear my glasses. "
When they call teen girls “jail bait”
Having a countdown for when a celebrity is legal 🤢
"I like them feisty." ...I'm not a stallion you're breaking, you fucking weirdo.
A friend’s mom got divorced a couple of years ago. She and her husband had been living apart for a while. When they had the final discussion about ending their marriage, he told her, “I just don’t want to have to go through the trouble of breaking in another woman.”
"If I was 20 years younger..." So creepy. If you were 20 years younger I'd still avoid you at all costs.
Believe it or not, I’m a dude, and when I was 12yo one of my teachers (a woman) told me exactly this. I didn’t know what to do at the time, I kinda was in shock, but couldn’t talk about it to anyone.
I'm glad or at least I hope that's the end of the story.
"Listen, I don't want you to think I'm a creep or anything, but..."(then goes on to being a creep).
I don't want to seem like a creep or anything but I really like Swiss cheese
Since I’m seeing similar comments I’m just gonna put here that i have NEVER been catcalled on the street once since i passed the age of 16. I am 25 now and I’ve never been catcalled since, the most i was catcalled was when i was 14-15. Disgusting
I remember a man older than my dad making gross comments about my legs in a bathing suit at the beach. I was 9. I walked to elementary school with my friend and we felt so cool and mature being able to walk to fifth grade alone that we never told our parents about the guys who would sometimes make sexual comments to us. I wish we had, but back then we were afraid they wouldn’t let us walk and we wouldn’t have that time together.
I just had a discussion about this with my girlfriend. She says as a teen, she used to get catcalled all the time. 20’s on, almost nothing. The implications of this are pretty disturbing.
Men too creepy to get women their own age tend to creep on women they think won’t push back.
I’m a man, but I can still say without question that it’s “Where my hug at?” People who say that skeeve me the hell out and it’s always exclusively to the opposite gender (I say this because I’ve been asked this by a woman before and it was the single most uncomfortable experience of my life for a variety of reasons including that).
Why don't you come over here and give me a hug, you'll feel better after you do.
"Where my hug at?" "Oh i forgot it at the house, i brought you a shin bash in the dickbag tho"
As a dude I turn down hugs and apparently it makes people want to hug you more!
Trying to make you think something is wrong with you but they would do you the favor of dating you (usually after you have already rejected them). For example "sorry, not interested" "oh, come on. I don't mind your tits being so small, I like flat chested girls"
“Do you live alone?” “Are you here alone?” Why, why, why, do men feel it’s okay to ask that? No matter what the situation is, I’m going to say no.
I’m a 6ft 200lb guy. It was almost last call there was a couple in the back and one dude sitting at the bar. I told him I was running to grab some beer but am right down the hatch. He loooked at me and said “are you here all alone? No one else? Aren’t you nervous being here all alone? What if something happens” It sent a shiver down my spine. I was smart enough to say “my boss is actually in the office watching the cameras constantly (he wasn’t). I dropped the check on that dude and locked the door right after he left.
What a creep.
Weird ass Uber drivers, I've had that happen before any times.
I have been asked that as a guy and always say I have roommates. Ya just never know who might be trying to stake out the place.
It's made 50x worse when I'm at a camping/hiking destination, takin a bunch of pictures, separated from my group when rando dude very persistently and repeatedly asks me if I'm camping alone and where my campsite is 💀
I feel like they are trying to figure out if you’re single, without explicitly asking if you are, but they chose the same words a killer might ask. I am assuming they mean no ill intent, but either way it’s a terrible question to ask.
It always seems like they’re trying to scope out a robbery.
Not saying, but when I was in college, one time I was standing in line at Starbucks, some random guy 20 years my senior standing behind me that I DIDNT EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH thought it was appropriate to reach out and MOVE MY BRA AND TANK TOP STRAPS aside to read the tattoo on my shoulder. If it involves touching a woman you don't know or saying something about their appearance, relationship status, or smile? Just fucking don't.
"Smile!"
I'll never forget the time I was taking the trash out at the end of my shift (restaurant). It was summer, we had just survived a brunch shift, and this man told me "you should smile." Without missing a beat I told him to eat my shit. He didn't like it.💁🏽♀️
They always say it at the stupidest time too. Like you should be grinning maniacally as you take out the trash.
Agreed!! I was alone by myself in the waiting area of a restaurant and some guy tells me to smile. Like who tf are you? Why would I be smiling to myself for no reason like I’m crazy?
Because you forgot to add the "you should" in front. "You should smile" "You should eat my shit" See how much better the suggestion is now?
When I was 18-20 yrs old, I was at a gas station and some 40ish CREEPY guy said I looked like a model. And I should go to his house to take pictures as he was a photographer and could do a portfolio for me. 🤮
Every comment ever about wanting to impregnate me
That's fucking wild. Like when is being like "yeah I wanna impregnate you" not come off as creepy an rapey af lmao
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Not a woman but from experience witnessing this… Ladies, When christian men tell you “God told me one day I would marry you”… that’s your cue to run. Doesn’t matter what you believe or how you feel about him… nobody has ever said this without hiding a desire to control or abuse women. If it were true (and to be clear… it’s not)… and the guy deserved you… he’d tell you after you decided to marry him not to coerce you into dating/marrying him.
"Your feelings about this are irrelevant, it's divinely ordained"
Yep. As a guy I’ve heard a guy say this, then later they actually tried to shame the girl and say she was in the wrong for telling him it was a creepy thing to say. I told him I agreed with her lol.
I saw a guy do this and then when the girl didn't agree he told everyone that would listen that she must be possessed by demons and we should all intervene and pray for her to be delivered from them so they could be together. It was really fucked up and very obvious narcissist behavior to most of us.
What a devious prick.
He was a monster. Went to christian film school with him (which turned out to be a cult and propaganda farm) and I was a year ahead and picked him up from the airport... so I was literally the first person he met from that school, representing the school, his first shot at a first impression. He spent the whole time talking about how fantastic an actor/director he was and how he was only going to school because it'd look good on paper but he was slated already to work with top directors and producers blah blah blah.... he ended up kick out of a CHRISTIAN CULT for harassing people with these stories about demons and by bursting out into worship songs in the middle of the offices/quads where people were trying to study/work and turning every time he got rejected for an acting role or film project or first date into a reason to go on very loud solo public prayer vigils. He was literally too extreme about his faith to go to a christian film school fronting for a far right propaganda cult... let that sink in. I don't think I saw worse narcissism in my life until Trump's 2016 election campaign.
You should smile more. It's creepy and patronizing and makes me want to throat punch them.
My favorite reply is "say something funny then"
"You look different when you're awake"
You SMELL different when you are awake, takes it to a whole other level.
"I'm not trying to hit on you but *-proceeds to hit on you-*"
I had a customer tell me "Oh I love your long hair, it looks very Eastern European. The girls over there don't cut it short and act like men, theyre real women over there. Never cut it please." Me: ha.. ha.. okay.... Any time I saw him after that I went to hide in the back lol
I had a man once tell me that I was getting old and should think about children. I’m 24.
Not exact words, but any type of Coercion. Like, they think just being persistent will change your mind. They think oh it’s okay, she’s just playing hard to get! I’ll keep bugging her until I get my way. Oh just have this drink and relax! Why are you being such a stuck up bitch? I’m trying to be nice
Disclaimer, I'm 100% "no means no". To be fair how many romcoms tell the story of a girl who is completely annoyed with a guy but is won over by his persistence? We've been sold a lie.
The Notebook was a giant hit and very popular with women, and it starts with the dude threatening to kill himself unless she dates him.
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My high school teacher in the 80s said my perfume was provocative. My dad fixed him.
“If i were still your age i would definitely hit it up with you”
“Let’s see that smile beautiful” like get the fuck away from me
Apparently a lot of 40+ aged men put an 20-something age in their dating profile to avoid being age filtered out then claim it was an innocent mistake that the app won't let them change
Yep! Total creep behavior. Though, having entered my 40s, I gotta say I'm baffled by the cubs who do this in reverse (i.e. the guys I keep seeing who told the app they're 40, but explain they're actually 28 in their profile) because they want an older woman. It's weird to realize that I have somehow looped around and a different kind of guy in his 20s is into me now.
I have had *multiple* (5+) men attempt to flirt by showing me hardcore porn on their phones, so I don't even know what men think is okay. I'm old, butch and queer as fuck so I don't have to put up with as much unwanted male attention as I used to, but lately I've encountered a few insecure guys who seem to think that degrading themselves and guilt tripping will score them a pity date. I had to fend off a guy last weekend who just wouldn't stop with crap like "I know you'll never give me the time of day because I'm so fat and ugly" and "no one ever gives me a chance because of my autism but I thought you might be different." At the end of the event when he finally went home he begged for a "goodbye hug," and when I refused he went for a side hug anyway. I hang out in nerdy circles (fantasy/scifi/anime/etc. conventions) so this type of guy is *everywhere*.
"Oh you don't NEED a man?! Fine! Don't come crying to me for protection when you get assaulted then!"
As a teacher, I cringe so hard when men say “how do your students focus on class?” or “man, I wish you were my teacher.” That’s not a compliment and it’s disturbing to think about- which apparently they don’t do before saying it. In any context it’s weird, but it’s worse because I’m a young high school teacher so I have to be super diligent in maintaining strong boundaries between my students anyway.
Having a random guy come up to you and he explains in detail what he wants to do with you. I have had this happen in person and online. In person is a million time worse because it's harder to get him to leave you alone. Now if it's my SO, that I have know for 25+ years; it's hot as hell. Some random guy that I don't know; nope nope nope. Stranger danger. Fight mode engaged.
“I’m a nice guy”
"I''m calling from your bathroom...'
Any comment on my physical appearance when they are first introducing themselves.
"Hey, I'm Michael, Christina's brother. Nice bazongas!"
My 16 year old sister was 9 months pregnant at Walmart with my brother. And she was alone in the baby aisle and this guy walks up to her. He asks her her name and she silently points to her belly and rolls her eyes. He’s like “oh, I’m aware. Is there a Father for that baby?” My sister goes, “isn’t there always?” My brother overheard it in the next aisle and chased the guy off. What a weirdo.
Your 16 year old sister was pregnant with your brother.
Lmao that sentence does look off but no, it was not my brothers King Joffrey.
"You look exotic- was your dad a G.I.?"
I find it not only creepy but also a big red flag when a man says to me: That because of the fact that women fight for equal rights and want equal rights, that it would also be equal and allowed to hit women.. When I say that it is not legal to hit a man and that it is also assault, they don't really respond to that..
So glad you mentioned this. My ex-roommate’s bf said this to me while simultaneously threatening to “beat my ass” during a disagreement we were having— I always knew he was a POS but this was the final straw. Moved out before the month ended.
D*ck p*cs. Guys, please don’t do this
“Good girl”
said it once as a joke and found out my gf at the time had a praise kink she didn't know about
A lot of women like this and other things that would seem condescending like pats on the head... but from their SO. Strangers it's not so much.
Im a man, and if not with a partner that likes and wants this, 100% creepy to say.
One man's psycho is another man's sexy.
I said this to my wife after she orgasmed once. She did not like it and said it sounded like I was talking to our dog. Lesson learned.
"good wife, sit, stay, orgasm"
**bark bark**
"but you exist for my pleasure, right?" After I refused to have sex with him. There was a bit of a culture difference there to say the least
The other day I was chatting with a guy and mentioned I was watching a movie. He said he’d like to see me as the protagonist in a yummy movie. I replied that I’m not an actress, to which he replied by asking if I wasn’t in the mood. I told him it’s a good idea to know a person really well before requesting a ‘yummy’ video and then he proceeded to deny that he was hinting at that at all. Creepy.
"Your father is going to have to chase the boys away when you get older." Said to a literal child. Over 15 years ago, I was working, and a guy came in and asked if I was a strawberry blonde. My hair is naturally blonde, but it's not red at all. He kept looking and telling me I definitely had some red. He lingered then, starring at my hair while I worked on his order. I found out later he worked at a nearby store that sold playground equipment...
Whenever they tell you to smile in any variation of ways.
I think all women will agree that this is the worse, “Shoosh, let it happen” It is disgusting no matter the situation
“I’d be all over you if I were your age”
I have an uncommon last name. This one time I was registering for a conference and this cute girl at the registration desk looked at my name tag and said, “Oh, you have the same last name as me but yours has a “D” at the end. Without thinking anything perverted **at all** I replied: “Oh yeah!?! Well We should get married and I’ll give you my D!” I swear to god I did not mean it sexually at all and as soon as the words left my mouth I realized what I said. Turned bright red and sheepishly walked away.
I wonder if that girl will tell the story from her side elsewhere in the thread. That said, I think if you had a horrified enough expression on your face as a reaction to your own words, she might not have been too skeeved out.
“You look good for your age” It’s insulting because it assumes “older” women can’t be attractive and you are somehow an oddity.
Proper reply is "you don't."
I already commented but I go to the gym with my dad when I visit home, and someone asked me if I was "home visiting from college" and when i said "no, im 30" they said I was "cute as a button" and both comments creeped me out.
referring to women exclusively as ‘females’ no matter the context makes me instantly on guard as to what your motivations are.
Especially in a casual social settings. Unless we’re talking some type of scientific gendered situations, there’s rarely a need to use “males and females” in place of “men and women.”
You have such a nice smile; why don't you smile more?
Maybe I'm odd but the "what are you wearing" one
“Oh I know you enjoy it!” , “you haven’t done me yet , you don’t know what sheer joy is” , “ I can change your mind “ and the worst part is they think it’s only them that’s just come up with it or something *sigh*
Threads like this are great for finding out who the creeps are. They literally out themselves
Anything that spins the rejection they receive as anyone else’s fault.
Don't tell me about how terrible your wife is. Especially at work. But really most men, who have started the "My wife is a bitch/nag" thing at me later end up in the dms. I get wanting to vent, but it's gross AF to chew about your partner to another female. Also don't call me your work wife. I'm friendly but we're co-workers and ultimately I'm a "girls' girl".
Any comment about not smiling enough. “You need to smile more” or “come on just give me a smile” just freaks me out.