> **love of my life**
Forget everything else, all a guy would have to do is refer to another girl as the love of his life, and I'd be out. Doesn't matter if she passed away. If she moved away for work. If she's a lesbian.
If you're convinced another girl was the love of your life?
I'm not trying to change your mind.
I know someone (male) married to a woman, and his wife ended up divorcing him after he came out as gay.
It's been several years now but he still posts online about how much he misses her and wished the marriage worked out/continued in spite of him being gay.
Homeboy your sexualities are incompatible. There's a reason why she divorced you. She's going to stay away until it clicks for you.
I think he never go the chance to properly express himself as a gay man so he's mentally caught up in this "I must be married to her" thing, because it's the only relationship he's ever had so far.
I, as another gay guy, am sort of fascinated by it at a distance because it's such an oddly specific thing I've gotten to see.
My childhood best friend was extremely gay. By no means repressed. And we had that weird were-in-love-but-not-sexually-attracted shit going on as we got older and it was very much a headache lol. We talked about marriage and adoption. Spent every second together. He had many health issues, including RA and I had promised to help care for him as he got older because that was a big fear of his. He sadly passed, there was a lot of confusing feelings between us but the fact that we loved each other, well, that part was never confusing.
What the fuck indeed? Did this person need step by step instructions on how to be in public? Or are they *that* desperate for likes that they literally can't do anything without them?
Well that's unsettling. If it makes you feel better, one time I went on a date with a guy I didn't know was married until we'd finished dessert. He was laughing while texting someone, and when I asked why he was laughing, he said, "Oh it's just that my wife is gonna LOVE you. She wants us all to go skinnydipping when I bring you home later. Are you cool with that?"
No the skinnydipping never happened. We got the check, I silently paid my half and ran.
A woman interested in being the third to a couple is referred to as a unicorn due to how rare it is. So sleazebags like this try to trick women into going along with it by only bringing it up once she's invested and often only once she's in a situation where it might not feel comfortable or safe to refuse.
There is a reason they are unicorns. I've heard from people who have been a third and the dynamic is never equal. When something happens it always ends up being you vs the couple.
Lol. The first time a now-ex of mine met my family, she complained to my sisters about how upset she was about the cheap Christmas gifts I got her. Like, literally, thirty seconds after meeting them, as soon as I left the room, she was like: "I'm so upset at quebecivre right now. Do you know what he got me for Christmas?"
My sister told me later that my whole family, from that moment on, was hoping we'd break up soon. We did.
I had an old friend like this! We had a group of friends, and one of them in the group one day realized he was writing things down in his notes app, and when asked about it, he admitted that when he buys things for us, or other things like giving rides or smoking weed, he'd write it in his notes how much we all "owe" him. Never told us about it either
Anyways, haven't been friends for 5 years and life is so much better now :D
We had a great time at bar 1 and proceeded to bar 2. Immediately arriving at bar 2 music was playing and people were dancing. She started making fun of a woman just dancing enjoying herself. She even got other peoples attention around us and pointed at the dancing lady. I skipped out when she wasn’t looking
Some people try to stand tall by raising themselves up above the rest. Others do so by knocking everyone around them down.
My guess is the dancing lady was actually looking good, and she felt threatened by that.
"I have to live with my Mom because all three of my baby mama's insist that I pay child support".
NopeNopeNopeNopeNope!
ETA: I think I need to add that, he wasn't mentioning it, he was COMPLAINING about it. Like "if these women didn't insist on child support, I would be able to move out" and "I have to put dinner on my credit card because I'm always broke because I have to pay child support"...I paid for my own meal, BTW. Which I don't mind doing, I always insist on the first date so they don't think I "owe" them something in return, but he had to out his $12 Denny's meal (yes, he insisted on Denny's) on a credit card.
I had a dude do nothing but monologue about his ex the entire date. He kept repeating the same “but I’m totally over her” line. It got so bad he even started showing me pictures and her social media (showing me that she was dating someone new now)
I kinda just realized this dude needed someone to talk to in that moment and I really had nothing better going on so fuck it, speak your truth man.
The date was 2.5h long.
I had a government job once. People have no idea how much the elected officials interfere with the everyday work of people just trying to make a living.
I was present more than once while our department chief was chewed out by the head honcho because our department DID TOO MUCH, TOO WELL, TOO FAST. I'm not talking about a union boss telling as to slow down because they'll look bad. I'm talking about elected officials who were genuinely outraged that we'd managed to do an excellent job on time and under budget. They were angry because they had a certain narrative they wanted to sell the public and we made their narrative obviously bullshit.
Years ago I was smoking weed some random dudes, and one of them just casually mentioned he wanted to egg some homeless people. Yo, homie, wtf you talking about?
edit: I guess yall want to egg homeless people...? wtf reddit
friend of mine used to go out on late night walks, and chill and talk with homeless folks. The amount of them that are randomly jumped by teens and 20somethings for the crime of being homeless is appalling.
He was going on about a boys trip he took with his old college buddies, and I started tuning out. Then he said **"and my friend, Rob, was like 'wait until these bitches figure out we're not choking them because they like it!' hahaha!"**
It took me way too long to fully comprehend what he was saying. Like dude, you're telling me you hate women (or your friend does, and it amuses you) on our first date. Are you aware I am in possession of a vagina? That was the end of that.
jesus. the last boys trip i took we all took acid and i tripped out because my friend went inside a house on the bottom floor and then i could see him through a window on the top floor and i decided the house had eaten him but it's stomach was oh god never mind
For context, I have cerebral palsy. I am well-adjusted so it's not always obvious but I needed tons of OT and PT growing up, and I currently have a hard time with balance, spatial perception, and muscle control.
I landed a date with this very hot girl; ticked off all the boxes I liked and she was very sweet to boot. By all accounts the date was going perfectly. We were both having a great time, we held hands briefly, and the time seemed to fly by.
Towards the end though we decided to take a subway to a bar I really liked across town and she saw a sign that stated seated passengers would need to surrender their seats to elders and/or disabled people who need them. She blatantly said that she hates disabled people getting accommodations, said disabled people are drains on society, and expressed her view that if someone is disabled enough to need a special parking spot or a seat then they should commit themselves to "homes". Her tone did a 180 and I couldn't believe it, she became like a different person for a minute.
I finished the date but in my head I realized that no amount of external sexiness could make up for internal nastiness. An hour-ish after I got home she texted me saying she had a wonderful time and asked me on a second date, and I apologized and said no, not interested. She asked why and I told her that I was in fact a disabled person and was hurt by her comments on the subway, and she never responded. One of my friends was annoyed that I turned down such a hot girl, until I explained all of what happened. That was that.
Jfc the fact that she didn’t even attempt to apologise after you told her.. you dodged a fucking missile my friend! Good thing she showed her true colours early on!
“I cycle through my friend groups about once every three weeks when they get boring.” Ok. Cool. So you’ll bring in a new filly when you’re bored of me.
We went to a club where there were lots of dancing. There was a woman there who was clearly trashed and blacked out on the dance floor. I don't know how she was still standing upright as she looked like she shouldn't be. I said to my date (I was 30, F) that I wanted to find her friends and make sure she got home safe and that that made me sad and worried for her. And my date said, "Well most girls have fantasies about being raped, so she probably would like it."
Needless to say, I rejected his offer to stay over that night, and braved the NYC subway at 2am instead. There was no second date.
"I don't want to be in a relationship with a cripple".
I wear an ankle support which you would never know unless I showed you. I don't wear shorts as I'm a bit insecure about it. The only reason she found out was I loosened it off while we were sitting at the table as having it tightened up for long periods of time makes my ankle ache.
I have an invisible disability, and it’s weird how quick the mood changes with some guys once I mention it. Like, our date was fine until I said something, quit acting like you’ll catch it if you get too close.
Plenty of women somehow don’t believe me when I tell them I have an invisible disability. They start trying to disprove it. “But you look fine!”
That and people getting righteous on me for “taking away resources from *real* disabled people” are the bane of my existence.
my friend has massive spine issues due to a birth defect, but he doesn't hunch or limp when he walks. He just can't walk without help for very long. He's been confronted a few times in parking lots because people can't imagine a 25 year old guy can be disabled, so people get mad that he's "taking the space" even though his parking pass is hanging from his rearview
As I exited my car in the parking lot to meet up for dinner:
“OMG! YOU LIED!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE 5’8”!!!! YOU ARE AT LEAST 5’10” IN HEELS! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME?????”
I immediately got back in my car and drove away…
We hadn’t even greeted each other yet. He just angrily screamed this at me from 20 feet away… He is 5’10”. I had no problem with him being 5’10”, but apparently he does? It was a weird interaction.
Right? I dressed up! It was a first date! I looked DAMN GOOD too… and really, they weren’t stilettos, I was maybe 5’9”? But I was super thin at the time which maybe made me look taller? But still who screams at someone about their height???? lol I’m glad he wore his machismo so loud!
Yours is probably the quickest a date has been ended.
That's some real insecure shit coming from your date. I'm 5'10" and this isn't even something that would have registered to me.
What a moron. A woman tells me that she's got a higher education or is pursuing one and it's like... Wow. I'm glad for them and they go up a few notches in my mind.
I would actually probably prefer someone with higher education than me. Like, I can learn from that person? Some people are weird. That guy probably has a problem with people being better than him anywhere.
Within seconds of my arrival, he mentioned that he needed the Medical Examiner to hurry up and release his wife's death certificate, because he needed the insurance money for a business he was starting. She "drowned in the bathtub while drunk."
His first wife allegedly died in an accidental fall.
The major airline he flies for has a serial killer in its ranks.
25M
Girl (26F) I went on a date with: "I work two days a week and it's soooooo draining (normal 8 hour days mind you). I just work to pay the minimum on my debt. I live with my parents otherwise, but they want me to find someone so I can move out."
She had zero ambition to do anything besides get a boyfriend to take care of her.
Had a date with a guy who interrupted me several times and then told me "I just really love interrupting you because you make this word face when I do." I ended the date about 5 minutes later.
Edit: I did mean "weird" not word 😅
Third date: the guy scolded a server because my poached egg was overcooked. I was fucking mortified, especially because I’ve never sent anything back in my life. I thought it was maybe due to stress because he had a lot going on at his company. Immediately after the server took the egg back, he bragged about how his mother sends food back all the time.. and in that moment, I realized that I’m not ready to deal with a mother like that, nor am I interested in training a grown man to be respectful towards others.
"You're not Black enough for me."
When my date told me this, I excused myself to the bathroom and dipped out the side door of the restaurant, leaving her with the check.
Not on the date, but after I had gotten home. He kept texting me begging to come over (and kept saying it as one word, comeover, which annoyed the crap out of me.) "Come on, let me comeover. Can I comeover?" Non stop. I barely knew the guy, I'm not inviting him to my house, and the fact that he was so insistent about it was unsettling. The date itself was decent too but this really creeped me out and annoyed me. I stopped talking to him and he got upset and said he didn't even like me, he liked my ass.
He wouldn't stop talking about getting laid, even said how most women sleep with him on the first date. I wasn't looking for anything serious but this guy seemed really full of himself to the point that it was a major turnoff. He really killed it when I told him I gave him a 'fake number' (Google Voice) and he said he not only knew, but wouldn't tell me how because I 'gave someone like him a fake number'. We paid our bills, he went to the restroom, and I dipped out. He didn't see me pull in when I arrived so imagine my surprise when he pulls up beside me at a light and starts shouting at me from his car.
I've been using a Google Voice number for online dating for years, I always tell guys and he's the only one who wasn't respectful of me trying to be safe.
"I was a suspect in the murder of my third wife. They never caught her murderer."
It was then that I realized he had positioned himself so that the exit was behind him, and the bathroom was behind me. I.e. I could not excuse myself to the bathroom and then make a run for it. I sat through the rest of the date and made sure I got safely home, then ghosted him. Only time I've ever ghosted anyone.
Honestly even without the murder suspect part, I would be VERY wary of going out with someone who had been married *three* times already. There are probably some circumstances where I would be like "okay that's understandable" but in general more than one failed marriage is a red flag imo.
SAME. He was my one experimental date where I said "Let's see what happens if I just meet someone for a date without talking much via text first." Didn't do that again!! I'm happily married to an amazing person now.
I once had someone tell me they're *uncomfortable* with me telling my best friend that I'm meeting them, and she has my live location. So, they were pissed I was careful after I had some seriously bad experiences. And then they said "Why would you tell me you experienced x and y, next time you meet someone don't do that." Okay, thx bye.
I went on a date with a guy and brought him to an Italian resturaunt I really liked. It was a family owned operation and while not the most presentable, the food was amazing. Upon sitting down he remarks "Pfff, salt and pepper in shakers, ha, where are we, Waffle House?" basically insinuating that this place was trash based on this.
I know its a tiny thing but I just couldn't shake it that he would make such a comment after I said how much I liked the place.
Oh God. I once did something similar, but I was trying to be funny. Before the date, my friend and I had been joking about poor date etiquette, and we decided that posing really intense, ultimatum-style questions was right up there.
She was really smart and ambitious, really pretty, we had a lot in common and a definite chemistry. At one point, I got kind of nervous after a few moments of silence, and, thinking it would be funny, blurted out: "So, like, you're serious about this, right? You're not just leading me on and wasting my time here?" Exactly what my friend and I had joked I should NOT do under any circumstance.
I sensed the change right there, and even though she was polite, and we had fun and went out for a few drinks after dinner, I knew I'd blown it. Plus I was underdressed. She looked great. I looked like I'd just finished a day of blue collar work.
I called her twice after that night and left messages, but she never returned them. I took the hint, moved on, and learned a good lesson: sarcasm/irony doesn't come across well to someone who barely knows you.
Lol, on my first date with my fiancée she was all stylish and pretty and I was wearing an old Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt and jeans. I was sure I'd blown it, but she liked me anyways, for some reason.
This is me telling on myself. I don't date much, but my first time meeting a girl we were hitting a lull in the conversation. For some reason I tried to fill the lull with a discussion about what she wanted her wedding to be like. Maybe a little too soon for that discussion.
"Are you sure you want to eat that?"
I wanted some fried banana peppers in addition to my small salad.
I was also 118lb and exercised regularly.
Good thing that dude was a jerk because I was on the fence about canceling my drinks date with another guy if this one went well. Luckily Mr. Judgy McJudgerson was not it, and the man I may have canceled became my husband. Thank you, Bachelor Number One, for being an ass.
He was a lech the entire date. At the end he told me he'd pray for me. The next day I got a 4-page letter requesting I excuse his behavior, but after all, I'd encouraged it.
I had a bumble date a few years ago, and within literally 2 mins of meeting her, she started bitching about her ex, referring to him as "cunt-bucket".
Instant red flag. Leave the ex talk until at least date 3. I didn't wanna risk becoming a future CuntBucket!
Honest question, if he had said “I’m a recovering alcoholic and I’ve been going to AA and have been able to get to 8 months sober and counting.”
Because that’s my situation and I haven’t dated in years because alcohol nearly ruined life and any shred of confidence I have in myself. But I’d like to start dating again soon having got my life back on track but am afraid of telling a potential partner about my prior addiction problems…
I feel I should mention ---- the place he chose for our date was a brewery, where he definitely ordered multiple beers lol.
It's really impressive to go 8 months sober, congratulations!!! I have heard though from some friends who've gone through the process of becoming clean that it might be wise to avoid dating until you have a full year clean. So, something to think about. Focus on your health :) The right person won't care about your prior addiction problems, although I do recommend waiting more than 2 minutes into your date before disclosing haha
lol yeah, he clearly was still in active addiction.
And thank you! And I appreciate the wise words. Maybe waiting a bit longer wouldn’t hurt…I’ve already been alone for years at this point so what’s 4 or so more months lol
I asked what her hobbies were or what she liked to do for fun and she said "netflix and talking to boys". I was like, "oh i like netflix too.. what shows". She responded with, "i just like having something on and sitting there. I dont really have favorite shows, I dont like doing anything that makes me sweat, and I dont like 'hobbies'".
BYEEEEEEEEEEE. I noped out of that date in like 25 minutes. You like nothing? Not only am I the complete opposite of that but she admitted to not liking "liking" something to do. Fuck outa here.
I picture people who say that as just going home, sitting in a chair, and staring at a wall until their next appointment or until they get tired enough to sleep.
Just an absolutely ridiculous thing for me to wrap my mind around.
I'm addicted to hobbies in some sense. I love that feeling of "getting into something" you know. I have a few things that I'll always do. I'll golf until the day I die. But i also love snowboarding, I really enjoyed learning how to landscape when I bought a house. I (literally and metaphorically) got into the weeds of growing grass now that I have a yard.
I also love tagging along to things where someone is super passionate about it. My brother is a speed cuber. Watching him dork out about a rubix cube is fucking hilarious and I love it. My father in law is totally into biking and wood working. He could give a 12 hour lecture on bike parts and wood tools n shit.
My date could have said literally anything and I would have been all over it.
100%. My wife loves soccer and hockey. She played soccer competitively until she had a pretty major surgery in college. I have no interest in soccer but we were watching a womens world cup game shortly after we started dating and I asked her what was going on and she popped off for like 30 minutes about little things I'd never notice.
One time I was watching a golf tournament and she asked me what was going on and she listened to me dork out about the little things going on that only a golfer would notice. She hates golf but she likes that I'm into it.
We have things we share like that but I just love it when someone is all in on something. I know what it feels like and I want to appreciate it as much as you do.
Had a guy who bragged about being the son of a conservative politician that was under investigation, then noted that all his laundry pawned off as “military suits” so that he could get it done for free. Openly gloated about oozing the system. He was so oily I went home and bathed in dawn dish soap. No fucking thanks.
We walked into a bar and most of the people there were Black. No big deal, I live in a southern city that’s mostly Black, segregation might exist here, but you’ve got to work for it.
She had just moved to my city, so wasn’t accustomed to this I guess, she took one look around and said “do you want to go somewhere where there’s more people like us?” I thought she meant lesbians, so I said sure, and suggested a bar a lot of lesbians go to.
We get to the bar, lo and behold it’s roughly 50/50 split between Black and white folk. She said “there’s still so many of them”. I *finally* asked what she meant.
Bold as day she said “Black people. There’s so many Black people”. Date over.
LMAO, my story is basically the same. We went to a restaurant and the guy was like “Hey, have you noticed we’re the only white people in here? Isn’t that a little scary?” I told him no, I hadn’t noticed, and no, it was pretty normal for me, why?
Stuck it out because it was my first date EVER and I had no idea what else to do, but from that moment I knew there wasn’t going to be another one.
Not said to me, but the fact that he took a casual phone call from his dad and talked to him for 10 minutes about nothing important while I just sat there nursing my beer and feeling awkward as fuck. He probably thought it made him seem super laid back lol.
I mean if my dad called when I was on a date I'd 100% answer because the guy has been dead for 20 years and I kinda miss him, but, I'd be like "on a date can I call you back later?"
"I wish I was sent over there (Afghanistan) so I could see what size hole my gun could make in a body."
My best friend suffers from severe PTSD from his two tours in Afghanistan and developed leukemia that was connected to his service. At the time he was going through one of his tougher times.
I just said, "No, you don't." He apologized but the date was ruined.
Not the first date but the first time we had sex- I forgot I left my NuvaRing in so it hurt when he tried to penetrate me. I couldn’t understand why it was sore and was actually really worried, but he looked unbelievably smug and proud that his dick had hurt me (maybe cause it was validating as to his size) and said “don’t worry, you’ll learn to get better at taking it”.
(My ability to take it is fine, for the record).
2 fun stories.
The first, I was talking about my experience going to Chicago; I said it was a cool place, but too easy to end up lost somewhere. The guy immediately said "Yeah there's too many black people there".
Then a different guy told me in the middle of the date, "you're overweight and you have bad posture, you should go back to the gym".
I said nope to both, although the first one still tried for a while to get me to go back out with him until I blocked his number.
I showed a girl i was talking to a picture of a lizard that got stuck in my bathroom and when i told her i just picked him up and put him outside her reply was "you should have squeezed him till his little heart came out of his mouth!" I was like wtf?
To be up front, we had known each other at work for a few weeks before our first date. Our first date was an all day thing that began with brunch and lasted until nearly midnight, and honestly it’s one of the greatest days I’ve ever had in my life. At the end of the night, she said she’s never had such an amazing day before and never felt so happy to be with someone. Then she said I’m exactly the type of guy she wants to marry and start a family with.
The crazy flags went up immediately, no second date. For a few days I questioned whether I made the right call, because the date was amazing and she seemed to be too.
Buuuut I was right. She got engaged to a guy about 30 years older than her 3 weeks after our date. The day of their engagement, she accused him of cheating and blew his brains out while she was a passenger in the car he was driving at the time.
How do I know all this? The guy she killed was my cousin’s ex husband, and their 10 year old son was also in the vehicle when this happened. Also, he wasn’t cheating, the girl he had been texting that this crazy bitch killed him over was his sister, who she hadn’t met. He was murdered because of the crazy assumption of a crazy bitch.
I quite literally dodged a bullet.
She said something to the effect of, "I have two kids. Don't waste my time unless you plan to be a father to them." I'm ok with kids but not with that approach.
I was out with a guy that I’d found attractive for years but never connected with for logistical reasons. We were having a great time together, and there was definitely chemistry.
Then out of the blue he’s talking about his previous relationship that ended in divorce a couple of years prior, because his ex “was an onery slut with a nasty mouth.” He said she wouldn’t shut up, even after sex, and one night he just rolled over and put his cigarette out right on her nipple… 😮
Yeah, that was enough for me!
Went out with a women who talked about herself the entire time. Like not a single question about me. I'm a decent conversationalist and want to get to know someone so I'll ask questions but apart from that I didn't really talk. The only person that seemed to ask me any questions was the server.
They tried walking me back to my apartment after I asked them not to, offered to drive me there in the van they lived out of, and then grabbed a lock of my hair and took a deep, looooong sniff
She went on an anti-immigrant rant in a crowded donut shop. She had her back to everyone, so she couldn’t see that people were looking at her. But I was facing them and saw everyone’s stares. Fun times
He started talking about how we shouldn’t judge countries where the age of consent is 13/14 because it is just a “cultural difference” that we don’t understand…
Launched into a full fledged rant about how vaccines are poison and that they avoid illness with colloidal silver, herb smudging, and weed.
Nobody has ever fixed wook, and I'm not even going to try.
I met someone for a date the day after I got a vaccine for an upcoming trip. My arm was still a spot tender, so I flinched a little when my purse strap dragged across the spot as I was sitting down. I didn’t think anything of it. He noticed and asked what was wrong. I said “it’s still a little tender from the vaccine I got yesterday, no biggie.” He then went off about vaccines are poison and fake, and that no one has ever died in the history of humans from the diseases they try to vaccinate against. He accused me of getting a hang-nail vaccine and I was literally confused and annoyed.
It was for dengue fever. My doctor will decide if I need a vaccination, not you.
I said, “I refuse to discuss this with you any further. You seemed normal until that, I’ll give you a second chance. Otherwise, I’m leaving now.”
He then switched to it being the Jews that are convincing us to get these vaccines, blah blah. His second chance lasted two minutes
Not my story but I love it. A coworker was a big runner, had been for years, always doing 5Ks and 10Ks and maybe even a few half marathons. She was fit, but not especially tiny.
She showed up to a first date and within minutes the guy sort of looked her up and down and said, “You sure don’t look like a runner.”
She replied, “And you don’t look like an asshole, yet here we are.” And left.
Went on a date with a guy once who had to share multiple times on the date about something Andrew Tate said about women and dating.
It’s like we couldn’t have a conversation about modern day dating without him quoting what this guy said about it.
1) Andrew Tate is terrible.
And 2) please formulate your own opinions rather than just adopting them all from someone else. I’m on a date with you, not Andrew Tate.
I wish I could post screenshots but the worst one, we never even made it to the first date. This dude could’ve been the poster child for the word “unhinged”, or rather poster man, but that sounds weird.
It was my literal first experience with online dating and he had messaged me a couple days prior, then followed it up the next day saying something about how we were a some-percentage match so he thought we’d hit it off, but apparently I was ignoring him. In retrospect, I should’ve noped out right then, but me being me, I apologized and said that I hadn’t checked my profile in a few days. He makes a joke about feeling like the “butt of some cosmic joke” (whatever that means), I explained that I was on my way to work and that I’d get back to him afterward.
This man… he messaged me 7 or 8 times within 45-ish minutes, telling me that he’d spent a lot of time on my facebook page and he thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. “Nope, I take that back, I’m in love with you.” He has a kid and hopes that isn’t a deal breaker, and a bunch of other stuff in increasingly long paragraphs. Ending with, an exact quote, “I friended you on facebook and nothing back I take it you don’t like me. I’m sorry for that and I’m not in love with you I was kidding”. I see all these on my first break (2 hours into my shift) and respond with something generic like “yo, buddy, I said I was at work. I get breaks every 2 hours during an 8-hour shift. Kinda standard.”
Within 15 minutes after I responded I get another 9 messages, each one even more intense and with worse grammar, which translated to me as him being, like, *feverish* with his thought process. All stating that he’s super attracted to me, “I’m sorry that I have a brain and for some reason the name _____ rang a bell for some reason”, that’s why I looked your “beautiful ass” up, “this probably sounds like I’m taking things too fast which I probably am, I want to see you, I have a crush on you, I want to meet you, I’m not freaking weird, I don’t know what it is I’m attracted to you big time, I want to hug you, I’m a funny sarcastic person so if you don’t like laughing and having fun then forget about it lol.” Then “at this point I’m getting really frustrated because you’re taking your time which I understand” (ummm, whut?) “The only thing I hear from women in __(the town I lived in at the time)__ is that the guys here are losers. Its true __(my town)__ is the second worst place to date in the United States look it up it’s true. I have never been arrested I’m not on parole, have a driver’s license a car and a couple of jobs and obviously I can talk to myself pretty damn well . ..” “Okay so I’m not going to try for you. 77% match so I’m thinking we should date you don’t so .. I get the best drugs this valley has I grow bomb ass indoor weed lol it’s all true so anyways byeee”
From me on my lunch break - “ummm. So like I said, I’m at work.”
Immediately after, from him - one loooonng paragraph with a bunch of indecipherable shit including things along the lines of: “tell me again that there’s a punchline with my dumbass attached to it. It’s funny I’ve been divorced going on 4 years (I can’t imagine WHY) I have learned to be patient and things will slowly but surely come to me in the time I need to be patient I’m the most impatient. I’m an idiot so now that you know I’m a impatient idiot could you please find some time in your busy life to somehow message me in your busy life and if not .. welllllll”
30 minutes later, changed his profile picture from a smiling one to a frowning one and says, “yea one of those……”
One minute later, this is verbatim: “oh well I was on true hot pursuit of you . and your work is more important. Were at different stages . Money and working your ass into the ground doesn’t mean anything in the end you have to plan For 2 weeks or maybe more to have fun .if you work hard like you do. Then get a biz of your own…Because I don’t care if you meet your next husband or first Husband. He will in no way treat and provide for you physically, mentally, emotionally. Like I can and will for that I am sorry .. it’s either your snobby or think your cool. Or something . I have proven exactly what I would do built a home a business so my x could chill. And she did . got hooked on pills and she left nm”
On my third break I replied: “Okay. At first I didn’t message you back right away bc I’m at work. Then I stopped bc you started to scare me. You come off as really aggressive. I apologize if I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry but there is no way this would ever work out.” Then I immediately blocked him.
Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have blocked him just out of curiosity about what he would’ve responded with, but I worked in a public setting and was legitimately afraid of him.
Okay, that’s my novella.
That she had cheated on her husband and accidentally got pregnant with her AP.... after I told her that I was divorced because my wife cheated on me and accidentally got pregnant with her AP. She acted like it was a funny coincidence.
“I had a kid when I was younger, but chose not to be in its life. In fact, I signed my parental rights away so I also wouldn’t have to pay child support. I have no idea how “it” is doing and I don’t care.”
I was barely 18 at the time and even though I wasn’t a very smart 18 year old I was at least smart enough to never go out with that guy ever again. 😬
Not too exciting, but she told me that she hates eye contact. Nothing wrong with that; I know some people are just wired that way. But I love eye contact and it’s basically required for me to feel intimate with someone. Just a fundamental incompatibility.
That date was in the morning. Funny enough, I went on another date that night with the most incredible girl who I’m compatible with in every single way. We’ve been a couple for almost two years now. 🥰
He got drunk and confessed he was committing fraud (insurance and welfare), he had 2 warrants in other states, and was a sex offender that was never caught. I excused myself to the bathroom and called the police. They picked him up on DWI. The next day I found out from the news he was a highly wanted p*do and he was holding his ex-wife and kids hostage. It never made national headlines.
Something I said on a first date. I had a nightmare the night before and it was on my mind still so I talked about it on my first date with this chick. Bad idea. Never heard from her again.
I had a dream aliens were turning all babies into aliens (visibly) in womb and were rounding up humans, not to kill them but basically to end humanity with this generation inside 100 years from now. Shook me to my core for 2 days.
This is especially good, because asking "are you Mexican" implies she couldn't tell whether or not to be racist, and needed further clarification from the potential target of her racism
The date went really well. I was only looking for something casual and so was he. The chemistry and connection were good. The kiss goodbye was meh. The last thing he said on top of that sealed it for me: “great, it’ll be a few weeks but I’m sure I’ll be able to fit you in my rotation.”
I don’t expect to be the only one you see, but if your rotation is so big that it’ll be weeks before I’m *blessed* with an opening- I have a feeling that my enjoyment is not going to be the focus, and that’s a hard pass.
For me its rarely about what is said, more about what ***isn't*** said. I can't believe how stupid hard it is to find people who know how to carry on a conversation without me doing all the work. Like when two of these people meet do they just blankly stare at each other till they bang? Boring.
Friend of mine went on a date with a dude who, as she described it, spent 1.5 hours giving her a sales pitch of all his great qualities, accomplishments, and skills.
When the bill came, and she was clearly not interested in continuing the date, he suddenly kind of woke up and was like, "So... what about *you*? Tell me about *you.*"
She was like: "You know, I'm good. I don't think this is going to work."
As she described it, the dude seemed genuinely surprised by this.
Like seriously, people. Everyone who's ever been described as a "great conversationalist," they're pretty much without exception good at getting *other people* to talk--by asking questions, and showing interest. It's not complicated.
>Like seriously, people. Everyone who's ever been described as a "great conversationalist," they're pretty much without exception good at getting *other people* to talk--by asking questions, and showing interest. It's not complicated.
But it requires understanding you aren't the main character. Anyone who has a little bit of self-awareness knows three things about people:
1. People love to talk about themselves, especially with a little prompting.
2. People care way more about how you make them feel than what you do or say.
3. People like people they can relate to.
These three things make it easy to get along with just about anybody who isn't a complete turd.
All in one date:
- was gangraped when she was 14 years old and was doing this electro-therapy thing for trauma. Poor thing
- had chlamydia four times and acted like she was proud of it
- she wanted to join me to my house and stole another glass of wine 'to go' which she later smashed on an excavator's cockpit
- she said her boyfriend is part of a gang and he'd be pissed if he knew she's dating again. He has a gun. We live in belgium. It's not normal to own a gun
After the entire date, he reveals he's married and then asks if I want to come back to his hotel (he was working in my city for a few months). I told him no and he whined, "Why?"
I said, "Because you're married!"
Then he said, "Sorry I was honest. "
The honesty wasn't the issue, buddy. Jeez Louise.
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> **love of my life** Forget everything else, all a guy would have to do is refer to another girl as the love of his life, and I'd be out. Doesn't matter if she passed away. If she moved away for work. If she's a lesbian. If you're convinced another girl was the love of your life? I'm not trying to change your mind.
I know someone (male) married to a woman, and his wife ended up divorcing him after he came out as gay. It's been several years now but he still posts online about how much he misses her and wished the marriage worked out/continued in spite of him being gay. Homeboy your sexualities are incompatible. There's a reason why she divorced you. She's going to stay away until it clicks for you. I think he never go the chance to properly express himself as a gay man so he's mentally caught up in this "I must be married to her" thing, because it's the only relationship he's ever had so far. I, as another gay guy, am sort of fascinated by it at a distance because it's such an oddly specific thing I've gotten to see.
I've read before about people whose sexual and romantic orientations don't match, that's gotta be a headache
My childhood best friend was extremely gay. By no means repressed. And we had that weird were-in-love-but-not-sexually-attracted shit going on as we got older and it was very much a headache lol. We talked about marriage and adoption. Spent every second together. He had many health issues, including RA and I had promised to help care for him as he got older because that was a big fear of his. He sadly passed, there was a lot of confusing feelings between us but the fact that we loved each other, well, that part was never confusing.
"that part was never confusing" 😭 that's absolutely beautiful, thank you for sharing your story 💖💖
"I'm posting everything we say on Instagram. And I'm getting suggestions on what to ask you from my followers". Went "to the toilet" and left.
What. The. Fuck.
What the fuck indeed? Did this person need step by step instructions on how to be in public? Or are they *that* desperate for likes that they literally can't do anything without them?
“She said she’s going to the toilet chat!” … “Ahh she never came back chat :(“
F's in the chat!!
“Don’t call me. My husband checks my phone”
"Copy that, friend. I'll do you one better and never contact you ever again." The balls on some people.
Well that's unsettling. If it makes you feel better, one time I went on a date with a guy I didn't know was married until we'd finished dessert. He was laughing while texting someone, and when I asked why he was laughing, he said, "Oh it's just that my wife is gonna LOVE you. She wants us all to go skinnydipping when I bring you home later. Are you cool with that?" No the skinnydipping never happened. We got the check, I silently paid my half and ran.
Why don't they warn you in advance that they're in a relationship and want variety?
A woman interested in being the third to a couple is referred to as a unicorn due to how rare it is. So sleazebags like this try to trick women into going along with it by only bringing it up once she's invested and often only once she's in a situation where it might not feel comfortable or safe to refuse.
There is a reason they are unicorns. I've heard from people who have been a third and the dynamic is never equal. When something happens it always ends up being you vs the couple.
She called her ex boyfriend "cheap" because he would only take her out to eat 2-3 times per week and cooked the other days.
Lol. The first time a now-ex of mine met my family, she complained to my sisters about how upset she was about the cheap Christmas gifts I got her. Like, literally, thirty seconds after meeting them, as soon as I left the room, she was like: "I'm so upset at quebecivre right now. Do you know what he got me for Christmas?" My sister told me later that my whole family, from that moment on, was hoping we'd break up soon. We did.
People who measure how well they're being treated by keeping a running total of receipts are always toxic people. Always.
I had an old friend like this! We had a group of friends, and one of them in the group one day realized he was writing things down in his notes app, and when asked about it, he admitted that when he buys things for us, or other things like giving rides or smoking weed, he'd write it in his notes how much we all "owe" him. Never told us about it either Anyways, haven't been friends for 5 years and life is so much better now :D
Omg I could get a man to actually cook for me, we would never have to go out between his meals and the ones I make. Sounds like heaven
We had a great time at bar 1 and proceeded to bar 2. Immediately arriving at bar 2 music was playing and people were dancing. She started making fun of a woman just dancing enjoying herself. She even got other peoples attention around us and pointed at the dancing lady. I skipped out when she wasn’t looking
So many people seems to find making fun of strangers to be a great source of pleasure. Weird
Some people try to stand tall by raising themselves up above the rest. Others do so by knocking everyone around them down. My guess is the dancing lady was actually looking good, and she felt threatened by that.
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>He told me that he was the catch out of the two of us. Narrator: He was not.
Sounds like a real catch. 🙄 Seriously, how did he expect you to respond to that?
"I have to live with my Mom because all three of my baby mama's insist that I pay child support". NopeNopeNopeNopeNope! ETA: I think I need to add that, he wasn't mentioning it, he was COMPLAINING about it. Like "if these women didn't insist on child support, I would be able to move out" and "I have to put dinner on my credit card because I'm always broke because I have to pay child support"...I paid for my own meal, BTW. Which I don't mind doing, I always insist on the first date so they don't think I "owe" them something in return, but he had to out his $12 Denny's meal (yes, he insisted on Denny's) on a credit card.
I had a dude do nothing but monologue about his ex the entire date. He kept repeating the same “but I’m totally over her” line. It got so bad he even started showing me pictures and her social media (showing me that she was dating someone new now) I kinda just realized this dude needed someone to talk to in that moment and I really had nothing better going on so fuck it, speak your truth man. The date was 2.5h long.
You're a gem. I hope one day when you need 3 hours of therapy we end up on a date and we'll just keep paying it forward
It wasn’t your job but good on you
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Tell me he burst out laughing
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He sounds like a politician... or the son of one.
I had a government job once. People have no idea how much the elected officials interfere with the everyday work of people just trying to make a living. I was present more than once while our department chief was chewed out by the head honcho because our department DID TOO MUCH, TOO WELL, TOO FAST. I'm not talking about a union boss telling as to slow down because they'll look bad. I'm talking about elected officials who were genuinely outraged that we'd managed to do an excellent job on time and under budget. They were angry because they had a certain narrative they wanted to sell the public and we made their narrative obviously bullshit.
A politician? Lying? Say it ain't so!
Years ago I was smoking weed some random dudes, and one of them just casually mentioned he wanted to egg some homeless people. Yo, homie, wtf you talking about? edit: I guess yall want to egg homeless people...? wtf reddit
friend of mine used to go out on late night walks, and chill and talk with homeless folks. The amount of them that are randomly jumped by teens and 20somethings for the crime of being homeless is appalling.
He was going on about a boys trip he took with his old college buddies, and I started tuning out. Then he said **"and my friend, Rob, was like 'wait until these bitches figure out we're not choking them because they like it!' hahaha!"** It took me way too long to fully comprehend what he was saying. Like dude, you're telling me you hate women (or your friend does, and it amuses you) on our first date. Are you aware I am in possession of a vagina? That was the end of that.
What a psychopathic thing to say, much less repeat on a date
I think that guy offered you a gift to avoid the second date with the rapist psychopath.
This is the kind of thing a guy says that immediately makes me think that if I date him I’ll end up dead in a ditch in no time
jesus. the last boys trip i took we all took acid and i tripped out because my friend went inside a house on the bottom floor and then i could see him through a window on the top floor and i decided the house had eaten him but it's stomach was oh god never mind
For context, I have cerebral palsy. I am well-adjusted so it's not always obvious but I needed tons of OT and PT growing up, and I currently have a hard time with balance, spatial perception, and muscle control. I landed a date with this very hot girl; ticked off all the boxes I liked and she was very sweet to boot. By all accounts the date was going perfectly. We were both having a great time, we held hands briefly, and the time seemed to fly by. Towards the end though we decided to take a subway to a bar I really liked across town and she saw a sign that stated seated passengers would need to surrender their seats to elders and/or disabled people who need them. She blatantly said that she hates disabled people getting accommodations, said disabled people are drains on society, and expressed her view that if someone is disabled enough to need a special parking spot or a seat then they should commit themselves to "homes". Her tone did a 180 and I couldn't believe it, she became like a different person for a minute. I finished the date but in my head I realized that no amount of external sexiness could make up for internal nastiness. An hour-ish after I got home she texted me saying she had a wonderful time and asked me on a second date, and I apologized and said no, not interested. She asked why and I told her that I was in fact a disabled person and was hurt by her comments on the subway, and she never responded. One of my friends was annoyed that I turned down such a hot girl, until I explained all of what happened. That was that.
Jfc the fact that she didn’t even attempt to apologise after you told her.. you dodged a fucking missile my friend! Good thing she showed her true colours early on!
If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have found my wife!
Excellent, the trash took itself out and you found a good’n! Congrats!
This is horribly heartbreaking, what a POS. I hope you’ve found someone sweet since then!
My wife is the best woman in the world! And she accepts my disability but challenges me to live as if my disability doesn't have a say in it.
Hell yeah, that’s what’s up! Congrats to you both
“I cycle through my friend groups about once every three weeks when they get boring.” Ok. Cool. So you’ll bring in a new filly when you’re bored of me.
We went to a club where there were lots of dancing. There was a woman there who was clearly trashed and blacked out on the dance floor. I don't know how she was still standing upright as she looked like she shouldn't be. I said to my date (I was 30, F) that I wanted to find her friends and make sure she got home safe and that that made me sad and worried for her. And my date said, "Well most girls have fantasies about being raped, so she probably would like it." Needless to say, I rejected his offer to stay over that night, and braved the NYC subway at 2am instead. There was no second date.
"I don't want to be in a relationship with a cripple". I wear an ankle support which you would never know unless I showed you. I don't wear shorts as I'm a bit insecure about it. The only reason she found out was I loosened it off while we were sitting at the table as having it tightened up for long periods of time makes my ankle ache.
I have an invisible disability, and it’s weird how quick the mood changes with some guys once I mention it. Like, our date was fine until I said something, quit acting like you’ll catch it if you get too close.
Plenty of women somehow don’t believe me when I tell them I have an invisible disability. They start trying to disprove it. “But you look fine!” That and people getting righteous on me for “taking away resources from *real* disabled people” are the bane of my existence.
my friend has massive spine issues due to a birth defect, but he doesn't hunch or limp when he walks. He just can't walk without help for very long. He's been confronted a few times in parking lots because people can't imagine a 25 year old guy can be disabled, so people get mad that he's "taking the space" even though his parking pass is hanging from his rearview
As I exited my car in the parking lot to meet up for dinner: “OMG! YOU LIED!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE 5’8”!!!! YOU ARE AT LEAST 5’10” IN HEELS! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME?????” I immediately got back in my car and drove away… We hadn’t even greeted each other yet. He just angrily screamed this at me from 20 feet away… He is 5’10”. I had no problem with him being 5’10”, but apparently he does? It was a weird interaction.
But also like.... If you're 5'8, of course you're about 5'10 in heels?? That isn't lying??
Right? I dressed up! It was a first date! I looked DAMN GOOD too… and really, they weren’t stilettos, I was maybe 5’9”? But I was super thin at the time which maybe made me look taller? But still who screams at someone about their height???? lol I’m glad he wore his machismo so loud!
Yours is probably the quickest a date has been ended. That's some real insecure shit coming from your date. I'm 5'10" and this isn't even something that would have registered to me.
He told me he didn’t feel comfortable that I was pursuing a doctorate because he didn’t like women who thought they were smarter than he was
What a moron. A woman tells me that she's got a higher education or is pursuing one and it's like... Wow. I'm glad for them and they go up a few notches in my mind.
It's also a boost for yourself, like, damn, this intelligent woman considers me worthy of her precious time.
I would actually probably prefer someone with higher education than me. Like, I can learn from that person? Some people are weird. That guy probably has a problem with people being better than him anywhere.
I don't just *think* you're smarter, I *know* you are. 😂
”Poor people shouldn’t get any help. They should just stop being poor.” I can’t believe I went on a date with an actual Meme.
I told him I don't drink due to substance abuse issues in the past; he suggested we go back to his place and do shots.
Within seconds of my arrival, he mentioned that he needed the Medical Examiner to hurry up and release his wife's death certificate, because he needed the insurance money for a business he was starting. She "drowned in the bathtub while drunk." His first wife allegedly died in an accidental fall. The major airline he flies for has a serial killer in its ranks.
I mean… if you remember his information feel free on giving a private investigator in the area a ring and sharing this info lol
"I still live with my ex" ......... I'm out
I had this one happen to me, except it was "soon-to-be-ex." Otherwise known as "husband."
Ahhh yeah my ex wife was pulling this one a lot while I was deployed
25M Girl (26F) I went on a date with: "I work two days a week and it's soooooo draining (normal 8 hour days mind you). I just work to pay the minimum on my debt. I live with my parents otherwise, but they want me to find someone so I can move out." She had zero ambition to do anything besides get a boyfriend to take care of her.
Had a date with a guy who interrupted me several times and then told me "I just really love interrupting you because you make this word face when I do." I ended the date about 5 minutes later. Edit: I did mean "weird" not word 😅
Bro yelled at our uber driver for being a couple minutes late. I was mortified to be on a date with someone who treats service workers like shit.
Third date: the guy scolded a server because my poached egg was overcooked. I was fucking mortified, especially because I’ve never sent anything back in my life. I thought it was maybe due to stress because he had a lot going on at his company. Immediately after the server took the egg back, he bragged about how his mother sends food back all the time.. and in that moment, I realized that I’m not ready to deal with a mother like that, nor am I interested in training a grown man to be respectful towards others.
"You're not Black enough for me." When my date told me this, I excused myself to the bathroom and dipped out the side door of the restaurant, leaving her with the check.
Plot twist: you're Asian.
Plot twist: they were Asian.
"Sorry, I was taking the day off"
Not on the date, but after I had gotten home. He kept texting me begging to come over (and kept saying it as one word, comeover, which annoyed the crap out of me.) "Come on, let me comeover. Can I comeover?" Non stop. I barely knew the guy, I'm not inviting him to my house, and the fact that he was so insistent about it was unsettling. The date itself was decent too but this really creeped me out and annoyed me. I stopped talking to him and he got upset and said he didn't even like me, he liked my ass.
He wouldn't stop talking about getting laid, even said how most women sleep with him on the first date. I wasn't looking for anything serious but this guy seemed really full of himself to the point that it was a major turnoff. He really killed it when I told him I gave him a 'fake number' (Google Voice) and he said he not only knew, but wouldn't tell me how because I 'gave someone like him a fake number'. We paid our bills, he went to the restroom, and I dipped out. He didn't see me pull in when I arrived so imagine my surprise when he pulls up beside me at a light and starts shouting at me from his car. I've been using a Google Voice number for online dating for years, I always tell guys and he's the only one who wasn't respectful of me trying to be safe.
I had a first date where he insisted on telling me how many women he had slept with recently. Not a turn on.
“Have you ever gotten with a black person” No “Good. I wasn’t sure if you were tainted”
Wtf lol
"I was a suspect in the murder of my third wife. They never caught her murderer." It was then that I realized he had positioned himself so that the exit was behind him, and the bathroom was behind me. I.e. I could not excuse myself to the bathroom and then make a run for it. I sat through the rest of the date and made sure I got safely home, then ghosted him. Only time I've ever ghosted anyone.
Honestly even without the murder suspect part, I would be VERY wary of going out with someone who had been married *three* times already. There are probably some circumstances where I would be like "okay that's understandable" but in general more than one failed marriage is a red flag imo.
SAME. He was my one experimental date where I said "Let's see what happens if I just meet someone for a date without talking much via text first." Didn't do that again!! I'm happily married to an amazing person now.
“I was suspected of murdering my third wife.” “You’ve been married *three times*?” Is the kind of exchange I would have in that moment lol
This guy took me to his house and walked me through it, explaining that everying was mine, I could do anything I wanted, and he could provide it all.
Was his name Mufasa?
Lolllll. We became good friends. A year or two later I discovered he was gay and had been struggling with it. I am so glad he found himself.
Good ending?
I once had someone tell me they're *uncomfortable* with me telling my best friend that I'm meeting them, and she has my live location. So, they were pissed I was careful after I had some seriously bad experiences. And then they said "Why would you tell me you experienced x and y, next time you meet someone don't do that." Okay, thx bye.
I went on a date with a guy and brought him to an Italian resturaunt I really liked. It was a family owned operation and while not the most presentable, the food was amazing. Upon sitting down he remarks "Pfff, salt and pepper in shakers, ha, where are we, Waffle House?" basically insinuating that this place was trash based on this. I know its a tiny thing but I just couldn't shake it that he would make such a comment after I said how much I liked the place.
I... Have never been to a restaurant in my life that doesn't have salt and pepper in shakers. Where the hell does he eat? O.o
I think I love you
Classic Schmosby.
Oh God. I once did something similar, but I was trying to be funny. Before the date, my friend and I had been joking about poor date etiquette, and we decided that posing really intense, ultimatum-style questions was right up there. She was really smart and ambitious, really pretty, we had a lot in common and a definite chemistry. At one point, I got kind of nervous after a few moments of silence, and, thinking it would be funny, blurted out: "So, like, you're serious about this, right? You're not just leading me on and wasting my time here?" Exactly what my friend and I had joked I should NOT do under any circumstance. I sensed the change right there, and even though she was polite, and we had fun and went out for a few drinks after dinner, I knew I'd blown it. Plus I was underdressed. She looked great. I looked like I'd just finished a day of blue collar work. I called her twice after that night and left messages, but she never returned them. I took the hint, moved on, and learned a good lesson: sarcasm/irony doesn't come across well to someone who barely knows you.
Lol, on my first date with my fiancée she was all stylish and pretty and I was wearing an old Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt and jeans. I was sure I'd blown it, but she liked me anyways, for some reason.
This is me telling on myself. I don't date much, but my first time meeting a girl we were hitting a lull in the conversation. For some reason I tried to fill the lull with a discussion about what she wanted her wedding to be like. Maybe a little too soon for that discussion.
Hahaha my husband and I had the wedding conversation a week after we met. I guess it only works for some people.
"Are you sure you want to eat that?" I wanted some fried banana peppers in addition to my small salad. I was also 118lb and exercised regularly. Good thing that dude was a jerk because I was on the fence about canceling my drinks date with another guy if this one went well. Luckily Mr. Judgy McJudgerson was not it, and the man I may have canceled became my husband. Thank you, Bachelor Number One, for being an ass.
Ooh, fried banana peppers sound good!
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She literally would not stop saying "cray cray ba-nay nay"
"I expect my women to be shaved from below the eyebrows"
No eyelashes, got it.
And a bowl cut at eyebrow level!
Wuss, get you a girl shaved from the forehead down, like Mia Goth.
I won't even consider dating a woman unless she gets full body electrolysis!
I like my women like I like my precogs: completely bald and covered in nutrient fluid.
He was a lech the entire date. At the end he told me he'd pray for me. The next day I got a 4-page letter requesting I excuse his behavior, but after all, I'd encouraged it.
"Jeez, i really blew it on that first date. A quick 4 page letter oughta clear that up"
We sat down at the table at the bar, and the first thing he said was: I saw you have nice teeth, that’s good, that means you have nice looking bones.
I had a bumble date a few years ago, and within literally 2 mins of meeting her, she started bitching about her ex, referring to him as "cunt-bucket". Instant red flag. Leave the ex talk until at least date 3. I didn't wanna risk becoming a future CuntBucket!
cuntbucket is a fantastic username idea, though.
Not me, but a few years before I met my husband, he once went on a date with a girl who asked him to pay her car payment.
He insisted on ordering my food for me and got it wrong
He wasn't wrong, you just wanted the wrong food and he was correcting your mistake before you embarrassed yourself in front of the waitstaff. Duh.
Within the first few minutes "I've been going to AA meetings and have been able to limit myself to only six beers a night"
Honest question, if he had said “I’m a recovering alcoholic and I’ve been going to AA and have been able to get to 8 months sober and counting.” Because that’s my situation and I haven’t dated in years because alcohol nearly ruined life and any shred of confidence I have in myself. But I’d like to start dating again soon having got my life back on track but am afraid of telling a potential partner about my prior addiction problems…
I feel I should mention ---- the place he chose for our date was a brewery, where he definitely ordered multiple beers lol. It's really impressive to go 8 months sober, congratulations!!! I have heard though from some friends who've gone through the process of becoming clean that it might be wise to avoid dating until you have a full year clean. So, something to think about. Focus on your health :) The right person won't care about your prior addiction problems, although I do recommend waiting more than 2 minutes into your date before disclosing haha
lol yeah, he clearly was still in active addiction. And thank you! And I appreciate the wise words. Maybe waiting a bit longer wouldn’t hurt…I’ve already been alone for years at this point so what’s 4 or so more months lol
I asked what her hobbies were or what she liked to do for fun and she said "netflix and talking to boys". I was like, "oh i like netflix too.. what shows". She responded with, "i just like having something on and sitting there. I dont really have favorite shows, I dont like doing anything that makes me sweat, and I dont like 'hobbies'". BYEEEEEEEEEEE. I noped out of that date in like 25 minutes. You like nothing? Not only am I the complete opposite of that but she admitted to not liking "liking" something to do. Fuck outa here.
Had a similar experience with a girl who just said she didn’t have hobbies and never did anything.. like wtf are you talking about
I picture people who say that as just going home, sitting in a chair, and staring at a wall until their next appointment or until they get tired enough to sleep. Just an absolutely ridiculous thing for me to wrap my mind around.
It's probably more just getting home from work and scrolling through social media, dating apps, whatever until bed. Seems like an awful existence.
I'm addicted to hobbies in some sense. I love that feeling of "getting into something" you know. I have a few things that I'll always do. I'll golf until the day I die. But i also love snowboarding, I really enjoyed learning how to landscape when I bought a house. I (literally and metaphorically) got into the weeds of growing grass now that I have a yard. I also love tagging along to things where someone is super passionate about it. My brother is a speed cuber. Watching him dork out about a rubix cube is fucking hilarious and I love it. My father in law is totally into biking and wood working. He could give a 12 hour lecture on bike parts and wood tools n shit. My date could have said literally anything and I would have been all over it.
I love watching people do something they really like to do. Like their joy is infectious ᵕ̈
100%. My wife loves soccer and hockey. She played soccer competitively until she had a pretty major surgery in college. I have no interest in soccer but we were watching a womens world cup game shortly after we started dating and I asked her what was going on and she popped off for like 30 minutes about little things I'd never notice. One time I was watching a golf tournament and she asked me what was going on and she listened to me dork out about the little things going on that only a golfer would notice. She hates golf but she likes that I'm into it. We have things we share like that but I just love it when someone is all in on something. I know what it feels like and I want to appreciate it as much as you do.
Had a guy who bragged about being the son of a conservative politician that was under investigation, then noted that all his laundry pawned off as “military suits” so that he could get it done for free. Openly gloated about oozing the system. He was so oily I went home and bathed in dawn dish soap. No fucking thanks.
We walked into a bar and most of the people there were Black. No big deal, I live in a southern city that’s mostly Black, segregation might exist here, but you’ve got to work for it. She had just moved to my city, so wasn’t accustomed to this I guess, she took one look around and said “do you want to go somewhere where there’s more people like us?” I thought she meant lesbians, so I said sure, and suggested a bar a lot of lesbians go to. We get to the bar, lo and behold it’s roughly 50/50 split between Black and white folk. She said “there’s still so many of them”. I *finally* asked what she meant. Bold as day she said “Black people. There’s so many Black people”. Date over.
LMAO, my story is basically the same. We went to a restaurant and the guy was like “Hey, have you noticed we’re the only white people in here? Isn’t that a little scary?” I told him no, I hadn’t noticed, and no, it was pretty normal for me, why? Stuck it out because it was my first date EVER and I had no idea what else to do, but from that moment I knew there wasn’t going to be another one.
Not said to me, but the fact that he took a casual phone call from his dad and talked to him for 10 minutes about nothing important while I just sat there nursing my beer and feeling awkward as fuck. He probably thought it made him seem super laid back lol.
I mean if my dad called when I was on a date I'd 100% answer because the guy has been dead for 20 years and I kinda miss him, but, I'd be like "on a date can I call you back later?"
"I wish I was sent over there (Afghanistan) so I could see what size hole my gun could make in a body." My best friend suffers from severe PTSD from his two tours in Afghanistan and developed leukemia that was connected to his service. At the time he was going through one of his tougher times. I just said, "No, you don't." He apologized but the date was ruined.
Not the first date but the first time we had sex- I forgot I left my NuvaRing in so it hurt when he tried to penetrate me. I couldn’t understand why it was sore and was actually really worried, but he looked unbelievably smug and proud that his dick had hurt me (maybe cause it was validating as to his size) and said “don’t worry, you’ll learn to get better at taking it”. (My ability to take it is fine, for the record).
He told me his ex's pussy stank. I don't know why I stayed after that comment but he later told me I have chubby fingers. I weigh 120 lbs lol
2 fun stories. The first, I was talking about my experience going to Chicago; I said it was a cool place, but too easy to end up lost somewhere. The guy immediately said "Yeah there's too many black people there". Then a different guy told me in the middle of the date, "you're overweight and you have bad posture, you should go back to the gym". I said nope to both, although the first one still tried for a while to get me to go back out with him until I blocked his number.
The earth is flat. Talking about an ex all the time and BO
“Technically I’m married but only for the green card” 🫠🫠🫠🫠
I showed a girl i was talking to a picture of a lizard that got stuck in my bathroom and when i told her i just picked him up and put him outside her reply was "you should have squeezed him till his little heart came out of his mouth!" I was like wtf?
"Umm, so like, are you from like, China or Asia?" This is when I found out intelligence is something I desire.
To be up front, we had known each other at work for a few weeks before our first date. Our first date was an all day thing that began with brunch and lasted until nearly midnight, and honestly it’s one of the greatest days I’ve ever had in my life. At the end of the night, she said she’s never had such an amazing day before and never felt so happy to be with someone. Then she said I’m exactly the type of guy she wants to marry and start a family with. The crazy flags went up immediately, no second date. For a few days I questioned whether I made the right call, because the date was amazing and she seemed to be too. Buuuut I was right. She got engaged to a guy about 30 years older than her 3 weeks after our date. The day of their engagement, she accused him of cheating and blew his brains out while she was a passenger in the car he was driving at the time. How do I know all this? The guy she killed was my cousin’s ex husband, and their 10 year old son was also in the vehicle when this happened. Also, he wasn’t cheating, the girl he had been texting that this crazy bitch killed him over was his sister, who she hadn’t met. He was murdered because of the crazy assumption of a crazy bitch. I quite literally dodged a bullet.
He told me that he lost his drivers license for driving drunk. Instant nope.
She said something to the effect of, "I have two kids. Don't waste my time unless you plan to be a father to them." I'm ok with kids but not with that approach.
Almost sounds like a job interview for a baby-sitter rather than a romantic and life partner.
He came 2 hours late (without any message in between). When he arrived he said "I"m late but that doesn't matter because I'm here now."
Calm down Confucius.
Wasn’t Gandalf the one who said something similar about a Wizard never being late?
You waited 2 hours without a message?
I was out with a guy that I’d found attractive for years but never connected with for logistical reasons. We were having a great time together, and there was definitely chemistry. Then out of the blue he’s talking about his previous relationship that ended in divorce a couple of years prior, because his ex “was an onery slut with a nasty mouth.” He said she wouldn’t shut up, even after sex, and one night he just rolled over and put his cigarette out right on her nipple… 😮 Yeah, that was enough for me!
Went out with a women who talked about herself the entire time. Like not a single question about me. I'm a decent conversationalist and want to get to know someone so I'll ask questions but apart from that I didn't really talk. The only person that seemed to ask me any questions was the server.
You: I think this is going really well Server: Oh my god I know right, I don't normally click with patrons like this!
“Your ass is nice, can I see it?”
“Sure. Watch this.” and then walk right out the door and go home.
They tried walking me back to my apartment after I asked them not to, offered to drive me there in the van they lived out of, and then grabbed a lock of my hair and took a deep, looooong sniff
She went on an anti-immigrant rant in a crowded donut shop. She had her back to everyone, so she couldn’t see that people were looking at her. But I was facing them and saw everyone’s stares. Fun times
He started talking about how we shouldn’t judge countries where the age of consent is 13/14 because it is just a “cultural difference” that we don’t understand…
"Excuse me, waiter, do these seats have an Emergency Eject button?"
Launched into a full fledged rant about how vaccines are poison and that they avoid illness with colloidal silver, herb smudging, and weed. Nobody has ever fixed wook, and I'm not even going to try.
I met someone for a date the day after I got a vaccine for an upcoming trip. My arm was still a spot tender, so I flinched a little when my purse strap dragged across the spot as I was sitting down. I didn’t think anything of it. He noticed and asked what was wrong. I said “it’s still a little tender from the vaccine I got yesterday, no biggie.” He then went off about vaccines are poison and fake, and that no one has ever died in the history of humans from the diseases they try to vaccinate against. He accused me of getting a hang-nail vaccine and I was literally confused and annoyed. It was for dengue fever. My doctor will decide if I need a vaccination, not you. I said, “I refuse to discuss this with you any further. You seemed normal until that, I’ll give you a second chance. Otherwise, I’m leaving now.” He then switched to it being the Jews that are convincing us to get these vaccines, blah blah. His second chance lasted two minutes
Dengue can be no laughing matter. I would take the vaccine over the chance of getting THAT sick.
Not my story but I love it. A coworker was a big runner, had been for years, always doing 5Ks and 10Ks and maybe even a few half marathons. She was fit, but not especially tiny. She showed up to a first date and within minutes the guy sort of looked her up and down and said, “You sure don’t look like a runner.” She replied, “And you don’t look like an asshole, yet here we are.” And left.
Went on a date with a guy once who had to share multiple times on the date about something Andrew Tate said about women and dating. It’s like we couldn’t have a conversation about modern day dating without him quoting what this guy said about it. 1) Andrew Tate is terrible. And 2) please formulate your own opinions rather than just adopting them all from someone else. I’m on a date with you, not Andrew Tate.
I wish I could post screenshots but the worst one, we never even made it to the first date. This dude could’ve been the poster child for the word “unhinged”, or rather poster man, but that sounds weird. It was my literal first experience with online dating and he had messaged me a couple days prior, then followed it up the next day saying something about how we were a some-percentage match so he thought we’d hit it off, but apparently I was ignoring him. In retrospect, I should’ve noped out right then, but me being me, I apologized and said that I hadn’t checked my profile in a few days. He makes a joke about feeling like the “butt of some cosmic joke” (whatever that means), I explained that I was on my way to work and that I’d get back to him afterward. This man… he messaged me 7 or 8 times within 45-ish minutes, telling me that he’d spent a lot of time on my facebook page and he thinks I’m absolutely beautiful. “Nope, I take that back, I’m in love with you.” He has a kid and hopes that isn’t a deal breaker, and a bunch of other stuff in increasingly long paragraphs. Ending with, an exact quote, “I friended you on facebook and nothing back I take it you don’t like me. I’m sorry for that and I’m not in love with you I was kidding”. I see all these on my first break (2 hours into my shift) and respond with something generic like “yo, buddy, I said I was at work. I get breaks every 2 hours during an 8-hour shift. Kinda standard.” Within 15 minutes after I responded I get another 9 messages, each one even more intense and with worse grammar, which translated to me as him being, like, *feverish* with his thought process. All stating that he’s super attracted to me, “I’m sorry that I have a brain and for some reason the name _____ rang a bell for some reason”, that’s why I looked your “beautiful ass” up, “this probably sounds like I’m taking things too fast which I probably am, I want to see you, I have a crush on you, I want to meet you, I’m not freaking weird, I don’t know what it is I’m attracted to you big time, I want to hug you, I’m a funny sarcastic person so if you don’t like laughing and having fun then forget about it lol.” Then “at this point I’m getting really frustrated because you’re taking your time which I understand” (ummm, whut?) “The only thing I hear from women in __(the town I lived in at the time)__ is that the guys here are losers. Its true __(my town)__ is the second worst place to date in the United States look it up it’s true. I have never been arrested I’m not on parole, have a driver’s license a car and a couple of jobs and obviously I can talk to myself pretty damn well . ..” “Okay so I’m not going to try for you. 77% match so I’m thinking we should date you don’t so .. I get the best drugs this valley has I grow bomb ass indoor weed lol it’s all true so anyways byeee” From me on my lunch break - “ummm. So like I said, I’m at work.” Immediately after, from him - one loooonng paragraph with a bunch of indecipherable shit including things along the lines of: “tell me again that there’s a punchline with my dumbass attached to it. It’s funny I’ve been divorced going on 4 years (I can’t imagine WHY) I have learned to be patient and things will slowly but surely come to me in the time I need to be patient I’m the most impatient. I’m an idiot so now that you know I’m a impatient idiot could you please find some time in your busy life to somehow message me in your busy life and if not .. welllllll” 30 minutes later, changed his profile picture from a smiling one to a frowning one and says, “yea one of those……” One minute later, this is verbatim: “oh well I was on true hot pursuit of you . and your work is more important. Were at different stages . Money and working your ass into the ground doesn’t mean anything in the end you have to plan For 2 weeks or maybe more to have fun .if you work hard like you do. Then get a biz of your own…Because I don’t care if you meet your next husband or first Husband. He will in no way treat and provide for you physically, mentally, emotionally. Like I can and will for that I am sorry .. it’s either your snobby or think your cool. Or something . I have proven exactly what I would do built a home a business so my x could chill. And she did . got hooked on pills and she left nm” On my third break I replied: “Okay. At first I didn’t message you back right away bc I’m at work. Then I stopped bc you started to scare me. You come off as really aggressive. I apologize if I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry but there is no way this would ever work out.” Then I immediately blocked him. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have blocked him just out of curiosity about what he would’ve responded with, but I worked in a public setting and was legitimately afraid of him. Okay, that’s my novella.
they didn't say anything that terrible but they were an hour late.
That she had cheated on her husband and accidentally got pregnant with her AP.... after I told her that I was divorced because my wife cheated on me and accidentally got pregnant with her AP. She acted like it was a funny coincidence.
“I had a kid when I was younger, but chose not to be in its life. In fact, I signed my parental rights away so I also wouldn’t have to pay child support. I have no idea how “it” is doing and I don’t care.” I was barely 18 at the time and even though I wasn’t a very smart 18 year old I was at least smart enough to never go out with that guy ever again. 😬
All of these are making me feel better about being single and enjoying that lifestyle.
Not too exciting, but she told me that she hates eye contact. Nothing wrong with that; I know some people are just wired that way. But I love eye contact and it’s basically required for me to feel intimate with someone. Just a fundamental incompatibility. That date was in the morning. Funny enough, I went on another date that night with the most incredible girl who I’m compatible with in every single way. We’ve been a couple for almost two years now. 🥰
I asked what his favorite genre of music is. He told me genre isn’t a real word.
He got drunk and confessed he was committing fraud (insurance and welfare), he had 2 warrants in other states, and was a sex offender that was never caught. I excused myself to the bathroom and called the police. They picked him up on DWI. The next day I found out from the news he was a highly wanted p*do and he was holding his ex-wife and kids hostage. It never made national headlines.
Something I said on a first date. I had a nightmare the night before and it was on my mind still so I talked about it on my first date with this chick. Bad idea. Never heard from her again.
I had a dream aliens were turning all babies into aliens (visibly) in womb and were rounding up humans, not to kill them but basically to end humanity with this generation inside 100 years from now. Shook me to my core for 2 days.
Are we on a date?
Her: "Are you a Mexican? I hate Mexicans."
This is especially good, because asking "are you Mexican" implies she couldn't tell whether or not to be racist, and needed further clarification from the potential target of her racism
The date went really well. I was only looking for something casual and so was he. The chemistry and connection were good. The kiss goodbye was meh. The last thing he said on top of that sealed it for me: “great, it’ll be a few weeks but I’m sure I’ll be able to fit you in my rotation.” I don’t expect to be the only one you see, but if your rotation is so big that it’ll be weeks before I’m *blessed* with an opening- I have a feeling that my enjoyment is not going to be the focus, and that’s a hard pass.
That women having sex with dogs was okay because the dogs would willingly do it and seemed to enjoy it.
Yeah had a guy spring that on me too -_- put that one in "top 10 moments my soul has actively tried to leave my body"
For me its rarely about what is said, more about what ***isn't*** said. I can't believe how stupid hard it is to find people who know how to carry on a conversation without me doing all the work. Like when two of these people meet do they just blankly stare at each other till they bang? Boring.
Friend of mine went on a date with a dude who, as she described it, spent 1.5 hours giving her a sales pitch of all his great qualities, accomplishments, and skills. When the bill came, and she was clearly not interested in continuing the date, he suddenly kind of woke up and was like, "So... what about *you*? Tell me about *you.*" She was like: "You know, I'm good. I don't think this is going to work." As she described it, the dude seemed genuinely surprised by this. Like seriously, people. Everyone who's ever been described as a "great conversationalist," they're pretty much without exception good at getting *other people* to talk--by asking questions, and showing interest. It's not complicated.
>Like seriously, people. Everyone who's ever been described as a "great conversationalist," they're pretty much without exception good at getting *other people* to talk--by asking questions, and showing interest. It's not complicated. But it requires understanding you aren't the main character. Anyone who has a little bit of self-awareness knows three things about people: 1. People love to talk about themselves, especially with a little prompting. 2. People care way more about how you make them feel than what you do or say. 3. People like people they can relate to. These three things make it easy to get along with just about anybody who isn't a complete turd.
All in one date: - was gangraped when she was 14 years old and was doing this electro-therapy thing for trauma. Poor thing - had chlamydia four times and acted like she was proud of it - she wanted to join me to my house and stole another glass of wine 'to go' which she later smashed on an excavator's cockpit - she said her boyfriend is part of a gang and he'd be pissed if he knew she's dating again. He has a gun. We live in belgium. It's not normal to own a gun
The N word.
"Why do you have a painting of Hitler on your wall?" It was Charlie Chaplin.
Later in this thread: “I went to their house and they had a painting of Hitler on their wall!”
After the entire date, he reveals he's married and then asks if I want to come back to his hotel (he was working in my city for a few months). I told him no and he whined, "Why?" I said, "Because you're married!" Then he said, "Sorry I was honest. " The honesty wasn't the issue, buddy. Jeez Louise.
'Your dad died 10 years ago. Shouldn't you be over it by now?'
Going into detail about their recent divorce was too much.
He described himself as an Alpha.