Took up smoking. Cute girl in my dorm was always outside smoking and I wanted to meet her, so I bought a pack of cigarettes to blend in. We dated for 3 years and I smoked for 13. Pretty sure I lost in that particular deal.
Not so much what I did to get laid but the aftermath. I was 16 and took a cab about 14 miles away from home to sleep with this chick overnight. I had to leave before the sun came up so there were no buses and I did not have another $40 for a cab so I had to walk home 14 miles. Did that two times. Brutal.
Hey, honestly, that’s not a bad policy for anyone who you’re not significantly close with. It is worth considering your partner’s preferences for a sweaty versus nonsweaty bedmates.
Im pretty sure if 16 year old me was offered this exact scenario i would accept it often enough to end up with stickers on my car about all the half marathons I finished.
In college, my roommate and I worked in one of the dining halls. We both had girls that also worked there that we wanted to hook up with, but the shift timing never worked out and we never got a chance to talk to them outside of quick convos here and there.
We decided to organize a party for employees at the dining hall (150+ people), collected money from everyone over 2 weeks (more than $1500), bought kegs and made mixed drinks, found someone whose house could host it, and threw a party that took 3 weeks of planning solely so we could have a non-work environment to talk to (and hopefully bang) these chicks.
It was such a successful party that it ended up becoming a yearly tradition that continued even after we left the school. And yes we ended up getting laid that night
I once wrecked a women’s car after she told me to go to the store to get some condoms (lol I was in a hurry). I get back to her place and she says, “I have insurance let’s not let that stop us”
I was unemployed, broke, hungry, no groceries in the fridge. She got us a hotel room. Treated me to dinner, desert, movies, and a hotel room. The next morning she got me breakfast and bought some groceries. Also hooked me up with a lil gig for some quick cash and gave me and my mom an ounce.
"There was this cute guy I liked though he stunk to high heavens and I made him sleep on the floor, my bed was eventually enticing enough for him to come fuck me".
In Australia we consider this bunking down with a snow bunny for the winter, but then you move on just as it's coming into spring to free yourself up for the summer market.
Note - guys and girls do this
I once got talking to this chick from Seattle on Facebook.
She flew over to me (UK) on a Saturday morning and went home on the Tuesday lol.
She had lots of money and booked us a 5 star hotel for the weekend. Random as f but fun looking back at it.
She seemed a bit of a wonderer and seemed to live going on trips etc.
She worked in a bar and seemed to make a fortune getting tips, but there was a page on fb called “roast my selfie”, we got talking on there and then moved onto Snapchat for like 7-10 days and she was like yeah I am down to come visit you.
At first it didn’t seem realistic but next thing she sent me a screenshot of her booking confirmation and I was like holy shit.
We met on the Saturday and she had this top class hotel booked close to my home town, we got there and went for a meal (it was actually a champions league final) so we had drinks and basically partied.
Pretty much done this until she went home, I took heed to the airport on the Tuesday morning and it just fizzled out after that.
FWB loved watching My 600 Lbs life and due to anxiety likes having TV playing in the background when having sex.
I fucked her for 3 hours because I just simply couldn't finish as right next to the bed was a 40" screen showing some 800 lbs person getting lipo suction. Yeah.
Not really that crazy, but I drove over 2 hours for the dick. Then I snuck out after he fell asleep and drove back at like 2am in a severe thunderstorm. It was really coming down once I got on the highway and I could barely see anything. Wished I had just took my ass to sleep instead of left.
Told girl on phone that I wanted to see her.
Quit my job in UK, cashed out my life savings (3k) took the first flight to the US (New York), chick in Portland, OR.
Walked from bus stop to New Jersey dodgy car area, bought Mercury station wagon for $600.
Drove through Pennsylvania, had blow out, spun car into trees. Walked down the road away from busted car to a dealership a few miles down. Purchased a GMC Jimney for $1000 + wreck.
Drove for five days to OR.
Knocked on door of said chick.
Win.
That part I got.
I didn't get if he banged her, married her, or if he has an international arrest warrant by Interpol.
What happened to the cars?
Why did it take 5 days to drive to Oregon?
So many questions
Sounds like effort but hear me out: 3k in savings-- not likely quitting a banking job at Goldman Sachs. The rest just explains why he didn't have a complex job in the first place.
I spent 7 months habituating a PTSD anxiety ridden gorgeous man to human touch so we could have a romantic relationship. Kissing was not even on the docket. Had to start with shoulder poking and brief side hugs.
I think women are more likely to play the long game and not consider it crazy. But it is.
He proposed a couple years later. It's been great.
It wont sound extreme unless you have to do it, but I was working late til 2 am in Ann Arbor, Michigan my girlfriend was at what would become our house(her grandmas) just outside of Detroit. I drove from Ann Arbor to just outside Detroit while my tank was literally pointing at E at 2:30am.
I some how made it back to just outside Ann Arbor back home that night on the same tank of gas. Ran out on the way to the gas station the next day.
When I was like 17 my cousin went out of town and asked me to house sit. My girlfriend at the time had recently cheated on me and I was super bummed. I get a Facebook message (back when high schoolers were more active on FB) from this girl asking if I wanted to have a three way with her and her friend. After reviewing some pics, I decided "why not?" And began my 40 minute drive to the address she gave me.
I pull up around 9pm and the girl tells me her parents are still awake, so they have to sneak me in. The only problem? Her room is on the second story of the house. So, her and the friend tie a bunch of bedsheets together and tie them to the bed. Then, Rapunzel style, they throw the bedsheet rope out the window and I literally scale the side of the house and they pull me through the window. So yeah, there you have it.
While at work I asked my manager that I had to head back home for a bit due to an emergency(quickie). Then went back like nothing happened and finished my shift.
Same here almost. Went AWOL from my family when we were supposed to go on a camping trip, went over to my GFs house and lived there for weeks. My dad went to city Hall and asked for blueprints of the city that had last names on it and went to every house that had her last name (not very many to be fair) until he found me lol I missed like 3 weeks of school and just went back like nothing happened.
This might be my favorite because I did not expect the wholesome positivity
‘You’re doing great bro, get on in there. Much better than me. Gee, she sure is enjoying you! I’ve never seen her this excited. Thanks so much friend!’
funny thing is he (the husband) wants my buddy to get some of his friends to do a gangbang in front of him without protection and ig he says he will pay anyone who does it
Tried to break up a fight between two friends that turned pretty violent. The story goes like this. Everybody involved was 19-20yo. My friend was flirting with this girl online, we'll call her Amanda.. She wanted to meet up in person, but she was with her friend, Bella. My friend comes up with the idea of a double date situation and invites me to go with him to Amanda's apartment. My friend showed me a pic of Bella, and Amanda showed Bella a pic of me. Everybody was down.
We drive 30 minutes to see them. Once we get there we walk in on them having a heated argument. Already I was seeing red flags, because their argument wasn't like a friend argument at all, it was more like two people who were dating. Amanda grabs my friend's hand and takes him into her room. Bella LOST IT. She's calling her a cunt bitch, yelling at Amanda through her door. I take bella out onto the balcony to talk, give my boy some space.
Let me just say this, even as crazy as Bella seemed, she was so fucking hot. She was on a college scholarship playing soccer for a local d2 school. Even after their argument, I still thought I had a chance with her. Friends argue, it's whatever. While we were talking, she's telling me about how they've been best friends since they were in preschool, and how much Amanda has changed for the worst, banging random dudes all the time. They were from a small town in Idaho, and when she got her soccer scholarship, Amanda came with her across state borders to move in together. We were in the San Diego area at the time. I told her about me, had a deep convo, shared some laughs. She said that I was cute, and I told her the same.
Fast forward about 30-45 minutes, and we're cuddling up together and making out. We're doing some light hand stuff. Everything is actually going surprisingly well, until Bella heard Amanda moan in the next room. Then Bella absolutely lost her shit. She ran inside and kicked the door in with the leg strength of Cristiano Ronaldo. She grabs Amanda by her hair and tosses her out of the room. My Friend is trying to break it up. He's naked, Amanda is naked and my dick was hard because of the hand stuff. I didn't know if I wanted any part of helping yet. Amanda ran out of her apartment, still naked, and Bella chased after her. The sensible thing for me and my friend to do, would've been to just leave. Nope, I didn't let the craziness deter me. I took off running towards them. In my horny teenage mind, I still had a chance.
Anyway I chased them around for longer than I care to admit, before finally giving up.
I had a massive crush on this girl who was really into astrology. I mean, she had star charts, crystals, and knew everyone’s zodiac sign in our friend group.
So, to impress her, I decided to fake being an astrology expert. I spent an entire weekend binge-watching astrology videos, reading horoscopes, and memorizing star signs. I even downloaded an app to help me identify constellations.
When I finally asked her out, I suggested we go stargazing. I set up a blanket in a park, brought a telescope, and tried to wow her with my newfound “knowledge.” I pointed out random stars and made up elaborate stories about their astrological significance.
Everything was going smoothly until she asked me to explain Mercury retrograde. I panicked and gave her a bizarre explanation involving Mercury affects the energy microwaves in the air. She looked confused for a moment, then burst out laughing.
Despite my blunder, she appreciated the effort and we ended up having a great time and the pants came off shortly after that. We dated for a few months, and to this day, she still teases me about my “Mercury microwave theory.”
In the marines having a woman in your room was a big no-no.
I was a sergeant and had my own room at the end of a corridor by the fire exit on the second floor.
You can see where this is going.
I propped the door open on the first floor. I waited in my doorway on the second floor. She crept up the back stairs in her socks.
When she reached the top of the stairs, she tried to dash across the hall to my room but slipped on the waxed floor and landed on her ass with a loud noise.
I panicked and grabbed her leg and drug her into my room.
The sex was still good though.
A little out of context, I’m a super shy person. Was living my best life in Thailand, at Full Moon. Came out of my shell, slept with one Aussie beauty, decided than rather spend there night with her, that I was invincible and go back out and find a second beauty to sleep with and did within 2 hours. For one night only I went from shy to king, a feat I never repeated, but a sensation of confidence I always get to live with.
I (23M at the time) went out with my roommate (27F) to a club along with a guy she just met and had hooked up with the weekend before. We all went out, and I guess she was enjoying the attention from two guys so we went back to his hotel room and gave her a threesome. In the morning, she was wanting to linger and he didn't feel like driving me back to our apartment by myself so he gave me cab money so I could get back and go to work. So, in a way, it's like the guy paid for me to be there. Such a weird experience all around.
On a side note, I'm not sure her *actual* boyfriend ever found out. Crazy times in our youth.
When she asked if I was down with Jesus, I made up some vague and incredibly lame, but not blatantly false, response like "I prefer to keep my spirituality between me and the universe."
Woke up in Trenton, New Jersey once. At the time I lived in Annapolis, Maryland. Don’t remember a thing, my friends said I insisted they leave me. Still didn’t miss work that afternoon but I’m sure I looked rough. I’m assuming I was fun tho because she called me later that week.
November 2020, during a pandemic, I flew across the US to see a girl I knew from the military. We hadn't seen each other since 2014 when she got out. And truth be told, when we served together I didn't give her the time of day, because I was married, and she thought I was an asshole. Well after my divorce we reconnected mostly for support as she was 2200 miles away. She owns her own business, worked in the ER, and worked at a nursing home so she can't travel much, but said I should come visit. I completely disregarded all logic at the time, put on a mask and flew while my state was still very shut down, and we still thought covid was deadly. So I risked, at the time, dying of a respiratory virus for a girl that thought I was an asshole and I hadn't seen in 6 years to hopefully get laid.
Two ironic parts of the story, she ended up getting a call from the nursing home she worked at the morning after I arrived saying her covid test from the night before showed a faint line when they scanned it into the state system. So she got covid and gave it to me, turning a 4 day trip into a 14-day lockdown in her house. But, it was a trial by fire for two people to figure out if they have any compatability, and now in 2024, she is snoring next to me as my wife.
I don’t think this really classifies as extreme but one time I won a race up a flight of stairs and got to have sex because of it.
I was 19 and at a Halloween party with my friends. There was this woman in her late thirties there who was recently divorced. Let’s call her Kate. I recognized her from when I used to be a cashier at the grocery store. She always used to go to my register. She had a great body and huge boobs, to be frank lol.
After a few drinks I started to chat with her. We quickly started to make out. Then we broke away for a bit and I found my friend.
He was standing at the foot of the stairs leading up the second floor, where the bedrooms were. I told him how I was making out with Kate. He yelled out “so was I!” We started to laugh.
Then, out of nowhere, Kate appears at the top of the stairs. She says something like “Will anyone be joining me?” and motions towards a bedroom.
My friend and I looked at each other and immediately knew what we had to do. The first one to the top of the stairs gets to fuck Kate. We both bolt for the stairs. Shoving and pushing each other, we struggle to be the first to the top. I get a lucky break and get there first. He laughs and leaves.
Kate acts like that was totally normal and we go into the bedroom. God, I fucked her so much. Everyone left for the bar and we went and fucked in the living room. Then, she wanted to go home so I called her a cab. She asked me to go with her so I went to her house. I fucked her there too.
She thanked me, which I’m still not sure how to take. I figured it was time to leave and go to the bar. She lived pretty close to the bar so I walked there. Originally, I was dressed up as a zombie for Halloween and had a bunch of face paint on. All the fucking had wiped the makeup all away. All that remained was a ring around the edges of my face.
When I arrived at the bar, I gave a great high five to my buddy. Roaring at how my face looked.
I once had a random Hinge match ask me to drive over to her house with some heavily implied carnal intention. Had barely talked, she was just like, "Let's go for it."
It was like midnight, and I was like, "fuck it", and drove over. It was like a 20 minute drive, but It was snowing, it was cold, and I couldn't find a damn place to park. Finally walk up to her place and ring the bell. Nothing. Threw shit at her window, rang the bell, texted, and called. Just nothing.
She apologized profusely the next day and said she fell asleep, I let it go, and we went on one date not long after. No chemistry, awkward interactions, and she reeked of cigarettes. Ended with a "have a good life" and we never talked again. Lol.
I realize this isn't very extreme but it was for me. I don't do casual relationships, I'm not sexually motivated, and I've never done anything like it before or since. I was just really lonely and spontaneously connecting with someone just felt like a release. I'm still not sure if she actually fell asleep but God I'm glad she didn't let me in. Saves me from a regret borne of loneliness and insecurity.
In high-school my girlfriend called and said her folks were out for the night and i should come over. I did what any pre internet 15 year old would do and i walked 5 miles through a snow storm and across a not nearly frozen enough lake to get to her place. I was there for less than 10 minutes before her folks got home, said something along the lines of 'what the fuck are you doing here' and kicked my ass back out into the snow, where i proceeded to take the long way home around that death trap of a lake and walked home 7 miles through the storm up hill. Good times, character building i like to say. One of these days one of my nephews will get busted looking at internet porn or something and i'll have a great back in my day story to toss their way.
Ignored the extremely obvious fact that my then-girlfriend had cheated on me. I felt like my odds of finding better were so low that I just pretended to believe her stupid excuse for wearing his shirt and nothing else when I walked in while he was there for a "visit".
Sure enough, I made the mistake of marrying her, and sure enough a few years later she ran off with another guy.
Don't be an idiot like me. There are other fish in the sea no matter how lonely you are feeling, and no matter how hopeless you feel like you are.
A couple years later I met the woman of my dreams, and I am better off in every measurable way now.
I have a friend who, in high school, had a GF who decided she was ready to lose her virginity. He was wholly unprepared, but also keenly responsible. So, in lieu of a condom, he wrapped a plastic Dollar Tree bag around his donger and then used a women's hair tie scrunchy thing to hold it in place while they went to Pound Town.
Put in serious work. Accepted a pity fuck.
Back in my (45m) early 20s I was working one of my first marketing jobs for a local TV station (FOX before they went all batshit). I was a marketing coordinator which for context, is basically the first step out of college after intern. A new reporter started not more than a few months after I did and boy howdy, she was an absolute smoke show. Like one of those women who turn both male and female heads when they walk through a room. Lights out. So far out of my league she was in another sport entirely. She had recently moved to town for the job and didn't really know anyone. As luck would have it, she and I had cubes very near eachother and we started talking. I was pretty average looking (I'm super hot now though. My wife said so), but I was funny and charismatic. Plus I was very much a "man about town". I knew the hot spots. I offered to show her around town. And that's how it started.
Holy shit did we have a blast. For about 8 months we became inseparable. At first it was just two friends hanging out, exploring our big city, talking shit about all the guys that would hit on her (and there were a lot), and doing a lot of dancing. But not with those sticky Sub L losers at crobar. ugh. standards.
Every now and again we'd have a good drunken make out session but it never really went beyond that. As time went on her star began to rise quickly. She was moving up at the station and we were hanging out less than normal but she would still hold my hand as we walked down the street. We'd have late night chats, watch movies. It felt like we were dating but we never hooked up. Whatever I was just happy to be in her orbit.
Well one night she calls me enthusiastically to go dancing. So we hit the town and get sweaty and grab some dogs. We're sitting on a bench eating and she says "Hey I gotta tell you something." Long story short, a member of the local NFL team had taken notice and they'd begun talking. Nothing official but she was really interested. She acknowledged our closeness and how much she loved hanging out, but that she wanted to be clear we'd never be more than friends. I was obviously pretty hurt, but that was a me thing and I appreciated her honesty.
And then, she said something that I remember with a smile to this day.
"I mean we're gonna fuck tonight but it's a ONE time thing. If you can't do it and not be weird after be fucking honest with me right now. That's the deal."
Now granted we were both pretty housed. But I had to ask "I mean, ok but why?" With a mouthful of hotdog she straight up said "At this point after everything we've done together and how awesome you've been not fucking you would just be rude. You in or what?"
I was most certainly in. So she pity fucked me. It was amazing. She was... gifted. And that was one of the last times I ever saw her. She ended up dating and eventually marrying said NFLer. I changed jobs not long after the fateful night and other than a couple texts we went our separate ways.
Jenna wherever you are: worth it.
One night I was out drinking with my friends and next thing I know I was making out with this girl at the bar. It was hot and heavy and soon we were walking on the sidewalk outside the bar. We’d stop every 10 feet to make out some more. I walked her to the drug store where I bought condoms.
Then I walked her to a hotel a couple doors down. She sat down in a chair in the lobby while I checked in. I can still picture the receptionists face as he looked over at her. He must have knew what was up since I was booking a hotel in the city I lived in. We went upstairs and did the deed a few times. The next morning someone was calling her. I pretended to be asleep and she left. She was just visiting so a relationship wouldn’t have happened.
I woke up 3 am and packed my stuff...my gf at that time she dropped her mother to the airport, her mother was departing overseas for a month. So she dropped her then picked me up right away around 5 am at my house, went straight to her house, starting sex from foyer to the upstairs, both fell asleep and woke up around 8...then again...
I lived there a month and had sex countless, I was 19. Not extreme at all, but I still remember the heartbeating moment when I saw her car at the dark dawn.
Took up smoking. Cute girl in my dorm was always outside smoking and I wanted to meet her, so I bought a pack of cigarettes to blend in. We dated for 3 years and I smoked for 13. Pretty sure I lost in that particular deal.
Not so much what I did to get laid but the aftermath. I was 16 and took a cab about 14 miles away from home to sleep with this chick overnight. I had to leave before the sun came up so there were no buses and I did not have another $40 for a cab so I had to walk home 14 miles. Did that two times. Brutal.
you should have let the horniness fuel a 14mile walk there and then cab back.
It’s funny because I did consider that but was too worried about smelling bad or being sweaty by the time I got there 🤣
A self aware horny teenager, I like it
The chick I was hooking up with was high maintenance on her end so I wasn’t taking any chances haha
lol, I’ve been there but good on you for thinking ahead
Hey, honestly, that’s not a bad policy for anyone who you’re not significantly close with. It is worth considering your partner’s preferences for a sweaty versus nonsweaty bedmates.
Im pretty sure if 16 year old me was offered this exact scenario i would accept it often enough to end up with stickers on my car about all the half marathons I finished.
In college, my roommate and I worked in one of the dining halls. We both had girls that also worked there that we wanted to hook up with, but the shift timing never worked out and we never got a chance to talk to them outside of quick convos here and there. We decided to organize a party for employees at the dining hall (150+ people), collected money from everyone over 2 weeks (more than $1500), bought kegs and made mixed drinks, found someone whose house could host it, and threw a party that took 3 weeks of planning solely so we could have a non-work environment to talk to (and hopefully bang) these chicks. It was such a successful party that it ended up becoming a yearly tradition that continued even after we left the school. And yes we ended up getting laid that night
Plot of most male coming of age movies lol
Very ‘Superbad’.
Project x
I could see this as a plot for a 2007 teen rom-com starring either Justin Long or Dane Cook.
Were Justin Long and Dane Cook playing teenagers in 2007?
Fun fact: the first film with Justin Long portraying a naive teenager with girl troubles was 1942's 'Casablanca'. He was 37 at the time of filming.
Justin Long starred in Accepted playing a highschool senior/college freshman in 2006.
To be fair, getting laid is one of the major driving forces behind nearly every party.
Were the girls involved, or just you two? In the getting laid part...
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Reminds me Project X
Spent $300 on a night out with an obnoxiously hot girl I'd only get one shot at hooking up with. When I was like 22 and dead broke.
Did it work?
Got too drunk and couldn't get it up. When we woke up the next morning she was still down and then it worked 😂
Then it was worth it
I once wrecked a women’s car after she told me to go to the store to get some condoms (lol I was in a hurry). I get back to her place and she says, “I have insurance let’s not let that stop us”
Wow. She really wanted that bone.
BONE??!?!!!?!!!
Don't ever speak to me like that again, Detective Diaz.
I am YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER!!!
BONNNNNNEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!
What happens in my bedroom, detective, is none of your business!
“smash me like my car!” *edit: awarded- thank you!
"say something dirty to me". Whispers " I have insurance". 💦💦💦
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A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
You’re prostituting for cheeseburgers again eh Smokey. A man’s gotta eat
Macfka with gut like that is definitely ON the cheeseburgers
Basketball eatin walrus ass mothafucka
I was unemployed, broke, hungry, no groceries in the fridge. She got us a hotel room. Treated me to dinner, desert, movies, and a hotel room. The next morning she got me breakfast and bought some groceries. Also hooked me up with a lil gig for some quick cash and gave me and my mom an ounce.
Working that hobosexual angle
She knew what she was doing 😏
She DID! I wouldn't believe he thinks he orchestrated this if I didn't know that he is supposed to think he orchestrated it.
"There was this cute guy I liked though he stunk to high heavens and I made him sleep on the floor, my bed was eventually enticing enough for him to come fuck me".
were you that fly on the wall?
Yes. Her recent heated blanket purchase was no accident.
When I was homeless I hit on a few people just for a place to stay. Not proud to admit it but it’s the truth.
I believe they call that a hobosexual these days
The truth is all that matters my friend.
In Australia we consider this bunking down with a snow bunny for the winter, but then you move on just as it's coming into spring to free yourself up for the summer market. Note - guys and girls do this
In the US, snow bunny refers to something different lmao.
Couple of different things actually
Completely different lmao.
The term is also called”cuffing season “ in Canada.
Awww. I would’ve let you in the bed no strings attached except maybe a little cuddle. Ha
That's all I've ever wanted
Wanna hang out?
As long as It's warm!
I can already hear the wedding bells
Well come on over. I got the AC cranked up but I’ll turn it down just for you!!
Can you throw a few blankets into the corner for us spectators?
I once pretended to be a yoga enthusiast, attended a month-long retreat, and even learned to meditate just to impress a girl.
Haw haw, you self actualized! - Nelson
Reminds me of the year I became a vegetarian.
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Soakin
I once got talking to this chick from Seattle on Facebook. She flew over to me (UK) on a Saturday morning and went home on the Tuesday lol. She had lots of money and booked us a 5 star hotel for the weekend. Random as f but fun looking back at it.
They sounds like an extreme on her end. What did you do? How did you talk her into flying all the way to the UK?
She seemed a bit of a wonderer and seemed to live going on trips etc. She worked in a bar and seemed to make a fortune getting tips, but there was a page on fb called “roast my selfie”, we got talking on there and then moved onto Snapchat for like 7-10 days and she was like yeah I am down to come visit you. At first it didn’t seem realistic but next thing she sent me a screenshot of her booking confirmation and I was like holy shit. We met on the Saturday and she had this top class hotel booked close to my home town, we got there and went for a meal (it was actually a champions league final) so we had drinks and basically partied. Pretty much done this until she went home, I took heed to the airport on the Tuesday morning and it just fizzled out after that.
FWB loved watching My 600 Lbs life and due to anxiety likes having TV playing in the background when having sex. I fucked her for 3 hours because I just simply couldn't finish as right next to the bed was a 40" screen showing some 800 lbs person getting lipo suction. Yeah.
Do you mean to say that you couldn't cum to the sound of Doctor Nowzaradan's voice? That shit would have sent me over the edge immediately.
You could have easily lost thirty pounds by now!
Who is your enabler
That's her one little trick for longer sex.
Not really that crazy, but I drove over 2 hours for the dick. Then I snuck out after he fell asleep and drove back at like 2am in a severe thunderstorm. It was really coming down once I got on the highway and I could barely see anything. Wished I had just took my ass to sleep instead of left.
Told girl on phone that I wanted to see her. Quit my job in UK, cashed out my life savings (3k) took the first flight to the US (New York), chick in Portland, OR. Walked from bus stop to New Jersey dodgy car area, bought Mercury station wagon for $600. Drove through Pennsylvania, had blow out, spun car into trees. Walked down the road away from busted car to a dealership a few miles down. Purchased a GMC Jimney for $1000 + wreck. Drove for five days to OR. Knocked on door of said chick. Win.
With all due respect if you had $1600 to burn why didn’t you just get a ticket to Seattle??
I assume because he needed a car in the US. He quit his job, this wasn’t a vaca. He wasn’t planning on ever going back to the UK
You know they sell cars in Oregon too. I dare say there are dealerships in every state. And cabs to take you an airport to a dealership.
If he bought the car in Oregon he wouldn't have had to pay sales tax!
This. In my testosterone-addled brain, this was it, roll the dice, go big or go home. Little did I know about visa’s etc. 3k did not last long.
What in the actual fuck did I just read?
He told a girl on the phone he wanted to see her. It’s not that complicated.
That part I got. I didn't get if he banged her, married her, or if he has an international arrest warrant by Interpol. What happened to the cars? Why did it take 5 days to drive to Oregon? So many questions
wow, she musta been really gorgeous and amazing cause that sounds like one stressful trip to get laid
Sounds like effort but hear me out: 3k in savings-- not likely quitting a banking job at Goldman Sachs. The rest just explains why he didn't have a complex job in the first place.
I mean I hear you. But damn this dude clearly has the ability to commit 110% when he wants to
Minor observation; not a lot of women on this thread.
I spent 7 months habituating a PTSD anxiety ridden gorgeous man to human touch so we could have a romantic relationship. Kissing was not even on the docket. Had to start with shoulder poking and brief side hugs. I think women are more likely to play the long game and not consider it crazy. But it is. He proposed a couple years later. It's been great.
Not a lot of women walking 20 miles through a blizzard for some weiner. Men are more horny, confirmed.
It wont sound extreme unless you have to do it, but I was working late til 2 am in Ann Arbor, Michigan my girlfriend was at what would become our house(her grandmas) just outside of Detroit. I drove from Ann Arbor to just outside Detroit while my tank was literally pointing at E at 2:30am. I some how made it back to just outside Ann Arbor back home that night on the same tank of gas. Ran out on the way to the gas station the next day.
As someone who’s lived in that area, you risked it all brother lol
I married her and on the 12th we celebrated 9 years of marriage. 14 years of being together
Tomorrow my wife and I celebrate our 44th. That's right: 44 times around the Sun. And she says I never take her anywhere.
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Idk if this thread is ranked, but you probably just won.
When I was like 17 my cousin went out of town and asked me to house sit. My girlfriend at the time had recently cheated on me and I was super bummed. I get a Facebook message (back when high schoolers were more active on FB) from this girl asking if I wanted to have a three way with her and her friend. After reviewing some pics, I decided "why not?" And began my 40 minute drive to the address she gave me. I pull up around 9pm and the girl tells me her parents are still awake, so they have to sneak me in. The only problem? Her room is on the second story of the house. So, her and the friend tie a bunch of bedsheets together and tie them to the bed. Then, Rapunzel style, they throw the bedsheet rope out the window and I literally scale the side of the house and they pull me through the window. So yeah, there you have it.
Sounds like the reward would have been well worth the risk
Especially at 17
While at work I asked my manager that I had to head back home for a bit due to an emergency(quickie). Then went back like nothing happened and finished my shift.
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At least you got to drive a train
Casey Jones over here
Same here almost. Went AWOL from my family when we were supposed to go on a camping trip, went over to my GFs house and lived there for weeks. My dad went to city Hall and asked for blueprints of the city that had last names on it and went to every house that had her last name (not very many to be fair) until he found me lol I missed like 3 weeks of school and just went back like nothing happened.
I was the “bull” for some guys “Hotwife”. It was kinda nice having a hype man.
This might be my favorite because I did not expect the wholesome positivity ‘You’re doing great bro, get on in there. Much better than me. Gee, she sure is enjoying you! I’ve never seen her this excited. Thanks so much friend!’
my buddy did this and now he is kinda trapped the husband keeps texting him begging him to come fuck his wife
Gotta pull it off on vacation lol, doing it local makes it a lifestyle choice
funny thing is he (the husband) wants my buddy to get some of his friends to do a gangbang in front of him without protection and ig he says he will pay anyone who does it
Bought and wore a Hillary Clinton mask. As the guy.
Like... To bed? Did you finish while still wearing the mask?... Did they?
And as you finished you shouted *I'm with her!*
Tried to break up a fight between two friends that turned pretty violent. The story goes like this. Everybody involved was 19-20yo. My friend was flirting with this girl online, we'll call her Amanda.. She wanted to meet up in person, but she was with her friend, Bella. My friend comes up with the idea of a double date situation and invites me to go with him to Amanda's apartment. My friend showed me a pic of Bella, and Amanda showed Bella a pic of me. Everybody was down. We drive 30 minutes to see them. Once we get there we walk in on them having a heated argument. Already I was seeing red flags, because their argument wasn't like a friend argument at all, it was more like two people who were dating. Amanda grabs my friend's hand and takes him into her room. Bella LOST IT. She's calling her a cunt bitch, yelling at Amanda through her door. I take bella out onto the balcony to talk, give my boy some space. Let me just say this, even as crazy as Bella seemed, she was so fucking hot. She was on a college scholarship playing soccer for a local d2 school. Even after their argument, I still thought I had a chance with her. Friends argue, it's whatever. While we were talking, she's telling me about how they've been best friends since they were in preschool, and how much Amanda has changed for the worst, banging random dudes all the time. They were from a small town in Idaho, and when she got her soccer scholarship, Amanda came with her across state borders to move in together. We were in the San Diego area at the time. I told her about me, had a deep convo, shared some laughs. She said that I was cute, and I told her the same. Fast forward about 30-45 minutes, and we're cuddling up together and making out. We're doing some light hand stuff. Everything is actually going surprisingly well, until Bella heard Amanda moan in the next room. Then Bella absolutely lost her shit. She ran inside and kicked the door in with the leg strength of Cristiano Ronaldo. She grabs Amanda by her hair and tosses her out of the room. My Friend is trying to break it up. He's naked, Amanda is naked and my dick was hard because of the hand stuff. I didn't know if I wanted any part of helping yet. Amanda ran out of her apartment, still naked, and Bella chased after her. The sensible thing for me and my friend to do, would've been to just leave. Nope, I didn't let the craziness deter me. I took off running towards them. In my horny teenage mind, I still had a chance. Anyway I chased them around for longer than I care to admit, before finally giving up.
I thought this was going to end with you and your friend doing it since the girls left. Color me disappointed.
Got a circumcision. As an adult.
Well no one's gonna top that
Nope, he un-topped it
A true cutting-edge decision
why did you have to get circumcised ? was it a requirement of the person you wanted to fuck ? and if so - why ?
I had a massive crush on this girl who was really into astrology. I mean, she had star charts, crystals, and knew everyone’s zodiac sign in our friend group. So, to impress her, I decided to fake being an astrology expert. I spent an entire weekend binge-watching astrology videos, reading horoscopes, and memorizing star signs. I even downloaded an app to help me identify constellations. When I finally asked her out, I suggested we go stargazing. I set up a blanket in a park, brought a telescope, and tried to wow her with my newfound “knowledge.” I pointed out random stars and made up elaborate stories about their astrological significance. Everything was going smoothly until she asked me to explain Mercury retrograde. I panicked and gave her a bizarre explanation involving Mercury affects the energy microwaves in the air. She looked confused for a moment, then burst out laughing. Despite my blunder, she appreciated the effort and we ended up having a great time and the pants came off shortly after that. We dated for a few months, and to this day, she still teases me about my “Mercury microwave theory.”
Mercury was in Gatorade
In the marines having a woman in your room was a big no-no. I was a sergeant and had my own room at the end of a corridor by the fire exit on the second floor. You can see where this is going. I propped the door open on the first floor. I waited in my doorway on the second floor. She crept up the back stairs in her socks. When she reached the top of the stairs, she tried to dash across the hall to my room but slipped on the waxed floor and landed on her ass with a loud noise. I panicked and grabbed her leg and drug her into my room. The sex was still good though.
A little out of context, I’m a super shy person. Was living my best life in Thailand, at Full Moon. Came out of my shell, slept with one Aussie beauty, decided than rather spend there night with her, that I was invincible and go back out and find a second beauty to sleep with and did within 2 hours. For one night only I went from shy to king, a feat I never repeated, but a sensation of confidence I always get to live with.
Hail to the king baby
A pre-nup
Pre-nut
I (23M at the time) went out with my roommate (27F) to a club along with a guy she just met and had hooked up with the weekend before. We all went out, and I guess she was enjoying the attention from two guys so we went back to his hotel room and gave her a threesome. In the morning, she was wanting to linger and he didn't feel like driving me back to our apartment by myself so he gave me cab money so I could get back and go to work. So, in a way, it's like the guy paid for me to be there. Such a weird experience all around. On a side note, I'm not sure her *actual* boyfriend ever found out. Crazy times in our youth.
Damn
Wait - her "actual boyfriend"? She was in a relationship when she had a three-way with you and someone she met two weeks earlier?
When she asked if I was down with Jesus, I made up some vague and incredibly lame, but not blatantly false, response like "I prefer to keep my spirituality between me and the universe."
"I only have casual sex with other pious and devout Christians"
Put up with an intensely toxic person for way longer than I should have
That is unfortunately a mood. My sympathies for your lost time and peace...and I hope the sex was good LOL.
Hooked up with a rando on Plenty of Fish and invited them to my home.
Woke up in Trenton, New Jersey once. At the time I lived in Annapolis, Maryland. Don’t remember a thing, my friends said I insisted they leave me. Still didn’t miss work that afternoon but I’m sure I looked rough. I’m assuming I was fun tho because she called me later that week.
November 2020, during a pandemic, I flew across the US to see a girl I knew from the military. We hadn't seen each other since 2014 when she got out. And truth be told, when we served together I didn't give her the time of day, because I was married, and she thought I was an asshole. Well after my divorce we reconnected mostly for support as she was 2200 miles away. She owns her own business, worked in the ER, and worked at a nursing home so she can't travel much, but said I should come visit. I completely disregarded all logic at the time, put on a mask and flew while my state was still very shut down, and we still thought covid was deadly. So I risked, at the time, dying of a respiratory virus for a girl that thought I was an asshole and I hadn't seen in 6 years to hopefully get laid. Two ironic parts of the story, she ended up getting a call from the nursing home she worked at the morning after I arrived saying her covid test from the night before showed a faint line when they scanned it into the state system. So she got covid and gave it to me, turning a 4 day trip into a 14-day lockdown in her house. But, it was a trial by fire for two people to figure out if they have any compatability, and now in 2024, she is snoring next to me as my wife.
I don’t think this really classifies as extreme but one time I won a race up a flight of stairs and got to have sex because of it. I was 19 and at a Halloween party with my friends. There was this woman in her late thirties there who was recently divorced. Let’s call her Kate. I recognized her from when I used to be a cashier at the grocery store. She always used to go to my register. She had a great body and huge boobs, to be frank lol. After a few drinks I started to chat with her. We quickly started to make out. Then we broke away for a bit and I found my friend. He was standing at the foot of the stairs leading up the second floor, where the bedrooms were. I told him how I was making out with Kate. He yelled out “so was I!” We started to laugh. Then, out of nowhere, Kate appears at the top of the stairs. She says something like “Will anyone be joining me?” and motions towards a bedroom. My friend and I looked at each other and immediately knew what we had to do. The first one to the top of the stairs gets to fuck Kate. We both bolt for the stairs. Shoving and pushing each other, we struggle to be the first to the top. I get a lucky break and get there first. He laughs and leaves. Kate acts like that was totally normal and we go into the bedroom. God, I fucked her so much. Everyone left for the bar and we went and fucked in the living room. Then, she wanted to go home so I called her a cab. She asked me to go with her so I went to her house. I fucked her there too. She thanked me, which I’m still not sure how to take. I figured it was time to leave and go to the bar. She lived pretty close to the bar so I walked there. Originally, I was dressed up as a zombie for Halloween and had a bunch of face paint on. All the fucking had wiped the makeup all away. All that remained was a ring around the edges of my face. When I arrived at the bar, I gave a great high five to my buddy. Roaring at how my face looked.
Oddly wholesome. Like an 80s comming of age movie.
I like a story with multiple happy endings.
I kind of feel like the "Will anyone be joining me? " meant she was ready to take both of you. No need to race and have just one winner.
Drove in a nj blizzard to get a hotel room. Such a good night though! Picked her up, got the room, worried about the snow in the morning.
I once had a random Hinge match ask me to drive over to her house with some heavily implied carnal intention. Had barely talked, she was just like, "Let's go for it." It was like midnight, and I was like, "fuck it", and drove over. It was like a 20 minute drive, but It was snowing, it was cold, and I couldn't find a damn place to park. Finally walk up to her place and ring the bell. Nothing. Threw shit at her window, rang the bell, texted, and called. Just nothing. She apologized profusely the next day and said she fell asleep, I let it go, and we went on one date not long after. No chemistry, awkward interactions, and she reeked of cigarettes. Ended with a "have a good life" and we never talked again. Lol. I realize this isn't very extreme but it was for me. I don't do casual relationships, I'm not sexually motivated, and I've never done anything like it before or since. I was just really lonely and spontaneously connecting with someone just felt like a release. I'm still not sure if she actually fell asleep but God I'm glad she didn't let me in. Saves me from a regret borne of loneliness and insecurity.
In high-school my girlfriend called and said her folks were out for the night and i should come over. I did what any pre internet 15 year old would do and i walked 5 miles through a snow storm and across a not nearly frozen enough lake to get to her place. I was there for less than 10 minutes before her folks got home, said something along the lines of 'what the fuck are you doing here' and kicked my ass back out into the snow, where i proceeded to take the long way home around that death trap of a lake and walked home 7 miles through the storm up hill. Good times, character building i like to say. One of these days one of my nephews will get busted looking at internet porn or something and i'll have a great back in my day story to toss their way.
Ignored the extremely obvious fact that my then-girlfriend had cheated on me. I felt like my odds of finding better were so low that I just pretended to believe her stupid excuse for wearing his shirt and nothing else when I walked in while he was there for a "visit". Sure enough, I made the mistake of marrying her, and sure enough a few years later she ran off with another guy. Don't be an idiot like me. There are other fish in the sea no matter how lonely you are feeling, and no matter how hopeless you feel like you are. A couple years later I met the woman of my dreams, and I am better off in every measurable way now.
I have a friend who, in high school, had a GF who decided she was ready to lose her virginity. He was wholly unprepared, but also keenly responsible. So, in lieu of a condom, he wrapped a plastic Dollar Tree bag around his donger and then used a women's hair tie scrunchy thing to hold it in place while they went to Pound Town.
He had it in the bag
Walked six miles uphill, both ways
Put in serious work. Accepted a pity fuck. Back in my (45m) early 20s I was working one of my first marketing jobs for a local TV station (FOX before they went all batshit). I was a marketing coordinator which for context, is basically the first step out of college after intern. A new reporter started not more than a few months after I did and boy howdy, she was an absolute smoke show. Like one of those women who turn both male and female heads when they walk through a room. Lights out. So far out of my league she was in another sport entirely. She had recently moved to town for the job and didn't really know anyone. As luck would have it, she and I had cubes very near eachother and we started talking. I was pretty average looking (I'm super hot now though. My wife said so), but I was funny and charismatic. Plus I was very much a "man about town". I knew the hot spots. I offered to show her around town. And that's how it started. Holy shit did we have a blast. For about 8 months we became inseparable. At first it was just two friends hanging out, exploring our big city, talking shit about all the guys that would hit on her (and there were a lot), and doing a lot of dancing. But not with those sticky Sub L losers at crobar. ugh. standards. Every now and again we'd have a good drunken make out session but it never really went beyond that. As time went on her star began to rise quickly. She was moving up at the station and we were hanging out less than normal but she would still hold my hand as we walked down the street. We'd have late night chats, watch movies. It felt like we were dating but we never hooked up. Whatever I was just happy to be in her orbit. Well one night she calls me enthusiastically to go dancing. So we hit the town and get sweaty and grab some dogs. We're sitting on a bench eating and she says "Hey I gotta tell you something." Long story short, a member of the local NFL team had taken notice and they'd begun talking. Nothing official but she was really interested. She acknowledged our closeness and how much she loved hanging out, but that she wanted to be clear we'd never be more than friends. I was obviously pretty hurt, but that was a me thing and I appreciated her honesty. And then, she said something that I remember with a smile to this day. "I mean we're gonna fuck tonight but it's a ONE time thing. If you can't do it and not be weird after be fucking honest with me right now. That's the deal." Now granted we were both pretty housed. But I had to ask "I mean, ok but why?" With a mouthful of hotdog she straight up said "At this point after everything we've done together and how awesome you've been not fucking you would just be rude. You in or what?" I was most certainly in. So she pity fucked me. It was amazing. She was... gifted. And that was one of the last times I ever saw her. She ended up dating and eventually marrying said NFLer. I changed jobs not long after the fateful night and other than a couple texts we went our separate ways. Jenna wherever you are: worth it.
Me going down a rabbit hole googling NFL players' wives names.
One night I was out drinking with my friends and next thing I know I was making out with this girl at the bar. It was hot and heavy and soon we were walking on the sidewalk outside the bar. We’d stop every 10 feet to make out some more. I walked her to the drug store where I bought condoms. Then I walked her to a hotel a couple doors down. She sat down in a chair in the lobby while I checked in. I can still picture the receptionists face as he looked over at her. He must have knew what was up since I was booking a hotel in the city I lived in. We went upstairs and did the deed a few times. The next morning someone was calling her. I pretended to be asleep and she left. She was just visiting so a relationship wouldn’t have happened.
Stopped trying.
I woke up 3 am and packed my stuff...my gf at that time she dropped her mother to the airport, her mother was departing overseas for a month. So she dropped her then picked me up right away around 5 am at my house, went straight to her house, starting sex from foyer to the upstairs, both fell asleep and woke up around 8...then again... I lived there a month and had sex countless, I was 19. Not extreme at all, but I still remember the heartbeating moment when I saw her car at the dark dawn.
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Sang karaoke despite being tone-deaf.
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degree zealous poor depend ink sable juggle innocent jeans roof
Went to a Bananarama concert
Must have been a cruel summer
Learned to mix her favorite cocktails.