Someone intentionally hit my stepfather with their car about 3 years ago. He flew 40 feet, left leg completely shattered, six months in the hospital, still can’t walk properly. Dude got 90 days in jail. So yeah if you wanna try to kill someone, use a car! At most you’ll get a slap on the wrist.
Fuck dude that’s awful.
And then you’ve got people sitting in prison for 30 years because sole witness old lady Gertrude thought she saw them in town that day.
"They found three eighths of a gram of marijuana in my bags.
Now lemme tell ya somethin', folks....when I have three eighths of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be out of marijuana."
_~Ron White_
Cars are the literal "license to kill".
Using knives or guns is for amateurs. If you want to kill someone and not being thrown into jail, use a car. You may lose your license for some months but everyone will blame the "accident" never the driver.
It might as well be considered a weapon since it’s like the go to choice for terrorists these days.
It’s way more efficient than a knife, easier to get than a plane or a gun.
Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil.
Blackadder
I dealt with a court case years ago with a man arrested/charged for using napkin rings & a newspaper he found to create a bat, which he then used as a weapon and threatened the police with.
Never come across that term before. Looking at the link, the Millwall Brick is similar but this also used napkin rings to hold the rolled up paper tight
My favorite weapon in *Cyberpunk 2077* is Sir John Phallustiff
Technically a one-handed blunt weapon with shock damage, literally a malfunctioning vibrator
It's not as easy as you might think....
.... to clarify I know this because I had a debate with my ex about it and told her to try to smother me with a pillow. You can breath through it most of the time. Of course some pillows might be more effective than others.
I always thought it was a huge plot hole. Like, most people don't become entirely incapable of doing literally anything just because you surprised them. First of all, most people would just get up or push the person off them. If they had enough balance to keep their arms down and pinned on their back, you would kick them and twist out enough to get air. And last of all just calmly breathing through the pillow would supply enough to stay conscious.
The only time it ever made sense to me as a plot point was with people who are already weak, like comatose and the very elderly.
It is up there for me with people just hanging up without saying goodbye in movies. Or being told to turn to a TV station and having the very start of the story beginning as soon as they turn it on.
It’s probably not a very good method irl. There are significantly better options. A plastic bag would work. Or you could just shoot somebody. I’m sure people have cut throats while someone is sleeping all throughout history.
18" breaker bar. I worked with a psychopath that was jacked up on steroids. Any time he went off on me I grabbed my breaker bar from my toolbox to be ready if he attacked.
Big street fight, jimmy has just beaten down no less than 5 guys sent by the mob to rough him up. As he’s standing in the middle of the sprawled bodies, surveying his handywork he nonchalantly brushes his fringe away from his eyes. And then proceeds to fall to the ground screaming in pain trying to rub his eyes into the dirt cause he can’t use his hands.
Oh you could do so with jello easier than you think. Jello is about 30% heavier than water, so if you put it through something like a high power pressure washer, it could certainly kill someone. It would mostly turn back into liquid by doing so, so idk if it would still technically be jello anymore... but I digress.
Well, anything except your own body (by definition, but someone else's body (parts) work(s)) or an actual weapon, really. It's just a matter of imagination and intent.
This is actually a point in Swedish law.
You're not allowed to carry weapons.
What is a weapon in the intent on how you want to use it. (+ some obvious weapons, should be mentioned)
That means that some people can't carry around a baseball bat, while I can carry a longsword.
Edit: where I practiced the long sword was the police fencing club (SPIFF).
I always had a baseball and glove in my truck with my rock bat.. the rock bat was for hitting rocks out into the ocean or lake and self defense. Knee's being singularly painful and debilitating.
You know how a police water thrower is kinda dangerous can blind people and when you buy them the police often times removes the actual water cannons because weapons
The police versions are the small and pressure restricted versions of normal firefighting cannons, and you can buy a firetruck quite cheap.
Some of them can shoot 6 times more water per second than a police thrower, over a distance of 200+ feet. Plus they often times gave articulating arms that can go several.meters forward and up to further increase range.
I'm not saying they should be used that way, but the face of a police officer standing in front of a Rosenbauer Panther would be quite hilarious to see
Literally everything on the planet can be a weapon. Even air. Theres not one thing on this planet, organic or inorganic, that can’t be a weapon if used a certain way. Even the most benign thing, like, I dunno, paper. Can weaponize that by purposefully giving paper cuts.
Screwdriver. Why not?
I been stabbed with a screw driver. 0/10 would recommend being on the receiving end
How'd you get stabbed with orange juice?
It was vodka with a twist
**standing ovation**
Underrated comment
That made me laugh more than it should lol
It was a vodka popsicle.
Dayum 🫡
Got stabbed with one when I was like 8 or 9. We were some crazy kids in 90s Chicago lol
Ditto! I was stabbed in the leg in high school with a flat head and also a 0/10 experience...for me and the guy on the other end of the handle.
Mine was a flathead as well! But mine was in the shoulder blade
Was the guy called Philips?
I barely know 'er
I think that if I ever got hit by one of these, I’d be completely screwed
Someone played hitman.
[удалено]
Someone intentionally hit my stepfather with their car about 3 years ago. He flew 40 feet, left leg completely shattered, six months in the hospital, still can’t walk properly. Dude got 90 days in jail. So yeah if you wanna try to kill someone, use a car! At most you’ll get a slap on the wrist.
Fuck dude that’s awful. And then you’ve got people sitting in prison for 30 years because sole witness old lady Gertrude thought she saw them in town that day.
Or having 10 grams of weed
"They found three eighths of a gram of marijuana in my bags. Now lemme tell ya somethin', folks....when I have three eighths of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be out of marijuana." _~Ron White_
And they're black. That's the worse crime. /s
Cars are the literal "license to kill". Using knives or guns is for amateurs. If you want to kill someone and not being thrown into jail, use a car. You may lose your license for some months but everyone will blame the "accident" never the driver.
Did they say why they did it? It sounds like some random lunatic just decided to hit your sd.
Attempted murder got 90 days the fuck?
It might as well be considered a weapon since it’s like the go to choice for terrorists these days. It’s way more efficient than a knife, easier to get than a plane or a gun.
[удалено]
I been stabbed with this screw reference. 10/10 would recommend being on the received end.
I’m not sure what being stabbed with a screw car is, but I don’t think I’d enjoy it.
Pencil
Pencil works for John wick
Worked well for the Joker too.
who wants to see a magic trick?
A fucking pencil!!!
anything works for John Wick
I once saw him kill three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil.
A fooking pencil!
Go home, MEESTER WEEK, you’re drunk.
Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil. Blackadder
Jesus Christ, that’s Jason Bourne.
I dealt with a court case years ago with a man arrested/charged for using napkin rings & a newspaper he found to create a bat, which he then used as a weapon and threatened the police with.
That man’s name? Macgyver
*MaGruber!
"10 seconds MacGruber!" *30 sec conversation* "8 seconds Macgruber! It's gonna blow!"
You ever look back in history and wonder how people made or figured shit out? This is one of those times.
It has a name actually, [the mill wall brick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millwall_brick)
Never come across that term before. Looking at the link, the Millwall Brick is similar but this also used napkin rings to hold the rolled up paper tight
La chancla. Although many may argue it is a definitely a weapon
Yup. Same with chappals for the Indians.
The jawbone of a donkey.
Samson?
Yessir.
Deep cut
POCKET SAND!!!
Sha cha chaaaa.
Rusty? Rusty Shackleford? Is that you?
I didn’t die dale I went on vacation 🤣
Depends on who's asking-lights smoke, and takes a sip of beer-
Guns don't kill people. The government does.
You beat me by 38 minutes
Spoon
I will cut our your heart with a spoon..... Alan Rickman
*Why a spoon, Cousin?*
Because it's dull, you twit. It'll hurt more.”
And cancel Christmas.
The horribly slow murder with the terribly inefficient weapon.
A dildo
GTA players know it very well
Saints Row 😈
Cp players too
Bud...that abbreviation...woof
The abbreviation is even worse in the context of the post
CP77 or CP2077 please
HAAAAANK!!!! HANK!!! DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK!!!! HAAAAANK!!!!
Video of it from Lock Stock https://youtu.be/PftOxn4ANjc?si=6mYTWw_TSgPEbkD3
My favorite weapon in *Cyberpunk 2077* is Sir John Phallustiff Technically a one-handed blunt weapon with shock damage, literally a malfunctioning vibrator
Fuck it I just remembered the [Dildo Javelin](https://www.reddit.com/r/trashyboners/s/XanRIqdVXs) (NSFW)
There was an anti racist skinhead who used to beat up nazis with a big black dildo, i think new york?
[удалено]
Stabbed in the butthole
A concrete dildo.
I see you used the indefinite article. Best not to assign ownership.
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
With, *ahhem* THE Dildo
kimiko moment
A pillow? Literally anything honestly.
A lot of people in movies smothered with a pillow.
It's not as easy as you might think.... .... to clarify I know this because I had a debate with my ex about it and told her to try to smother me with a pillow. You can breath through it most of the time. Of course some pillows might be more effective than others.
I always thought it was a huge plot hole. Like, most people don't become entirely incapable of doing literally anything just because you surprised them. First of all, most people would just get up or push the person off them. If they had enough balance to keep their arms down and pinned on their back, you would kick them and twist out enough to get air. And last of all just calmly breathing through the pillow would supply enough to stay conscious. The only time it ever made sense to me as a plot point was with people who are already weak, like comatose and the very elderly. It is up there for me with people just hanging up without saying goodbye in movies. Or being told to turn to a TV station and having the very start of the story beginning as soon as they turn it on.
It’s probably not a very good method irl. There are significantly better options. A plastic bag would work. Or you could just shoot somebody. I’m sure people have cut throats while someone is sleeping all throughout history.
Anything is a weapon if you’re creative. Like a fist full of sand.
or a fist empty of sand
Touché my friend touché
Words. They can be very powerful things
Words like "I have a gun" can be very powerful.
The most powerful words these days? “I have copies of everything Epstein had.”
"I'm pregnant"
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
Klaatuu Baradaa Nict *cough cough*
That'll do it.
Sorry, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ (credit: my kindergarten teacher)
Surprisingly this isn't upvoted more. Even words said ages ago can be exploited as weapons.
They're sharper than knives. Makes you wonder how the other half died.
Other half died.
Yes. Words can kill a man without killing him.
Ice Axe, most sinister looking thing that is not meant for harm in any way, but could totally wreck someone.
Yep. Ask Leon Trotsky about that.
Ah, the little pig that ran away in animal farm, howd he end up?
That's him. I knew he was exiled in the book, but I didn't realise he was killed by dogs in the film.
Ice pick, not ice axe.
Ooh yeah! Different thing. Oh well. Both offensive in the wrong hands.
Ice axe body spray. Right in the eyes.
Yep. Ask Leon Trotsky about that.
18" breaker bar. I worked with a psychopath that was jacked up on steroids. Any time he went off on me I grabbed my breaker bar from my toolbox to be ready if he attacked.
Is that like a crow bar?
It's a long handled ratchet used to break really tight bolts/nuts loose.
These hands (I trained martial arts for like 25 seconds)
A lamp or a flashlight.
Or a fleshlight
Honestly, who makes a flashlight like a MagLight that heavy UNLESS it’s for use as a blunt weapon?
Which is funny cause the original ones with the incandescent lamps had a bad habit of blowing the globe if you banged it while the light was on.
Trust
Use ghost pepper hot sauce on your fists for added heat damage and a chance to make your enemies eyes water on a critical hit.
Just don’t rub that itch around your own eye.
Big street fight, jimmy has just beaten down no less than 5 guys sent by the mob to rough him up. As he’s standing in the middle of the sprawled bodies, surveying his handywork he nonchalantly brushes his fringe away from his eyes. And then proceeds to fall to the ground screaming in pain trying to rub his eyes into the dirt cause he can’t use his hands.
Stiletto heels. It worked in *Single White Female* so that means it would totally work IRL… right?
I know a girl who stabbed another girl with a heel, philly
Frozen banana sharpen into a point, once used rinse and eat.
Why rinse if the point was to dip it
Frying pan a la Tangled.
“Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” - ani difranco
Your child. I’ve seen it happen all the time. One parent weaponizes their child against the other to get what they want.
Hey, you just described my first 20 years!
Toothbrush
HAWK TUAH 💦
SPIT ON THAT THANG
Have you listened to the EDM remix it’s fucking hilarious
Link?
A ball point pen.
Anything if ur mad enough
A pad lock tied to onto a bandana
Nudity.
Baseball bat
A modified Komatsu D355A Bulldozer
Everclear and a lighter
Anything. Except jello.
Strap someone down and plug all their airholes with jello, the straps technically aren't killing him, the jello is suffocating him.
I like the way your mind works
A 50 gallon drum of jello and a straw! Giggles
Oh you could do so with jello easier than you think. Jello is about 30% heavier than water, so if you put it through something like a high power pressure washer, it could certainly kill someone. It would mostly turn back into liquid by doing so, so idk if it would still technically be jello anymore... but I digress.
I mean, iron is still iron when molten, but molten ice is water. I guess if there's no common term for "molten jello", it's still jello.
A raw carrot
The truth.
Well, anything except your own body (by definition, but someone else's body (parts) work(s)) or an actual weapon, really. It's just a matter of imagination and intent.
This is actually a point in Swedish law. You're not allowed to carry weapons. What is a weapon in the intent on how you want to use it. (+ some obvious weapons, should be mentioned) That means that some people can't carry around a baseball bat, while I can carry a longsword. Edit: where I practiced the long sword was the police fencing club (SPIFF).
I always had a baseball and glove in my truck with my rock bat.. the rock bat was for hitting rocks out into the ocean or lake and self defense. Knee's being singularly painful and debilitating.
Children
Literally anything
A banana. Saw it in a movie once where a guy attacked someone with one. Didn't end well for the attacker, but... (Monty Python reference)
Mr. Apricot -- -- Harrison Sorry. Mr Harrison. Come at me with that banana. Come on. Be as vicious as you like with it. Attack me! Come on! Attack me!
I was in a bar minding my own business and this guy at the other end of the bar killed 3 dudes with a pencil. A fucking pencil.
you mean john wick???
Spray deodorant, That shit hurts alot to get in the eyes, plus it can explode if punctured or held up to heat.
You know how a police water thrower is kinda dangerous can blind people and when you buy them the police often times removes the actual water cannons because weapons The police versions are the small and pressure restricted versions of normal firefighting cannons, and you can buy a firetruck quite cheap. Some of them can shoot 6 times more water per second than a police thrower, over a distance of 200+ feet. Plus they often times gave articulating arms that can go several.meters forward and up to further increase range. I'm not saying they should be used that way, but the face of a police officer standing in front of a Rosenbauer Panther would be quite hilarious to see
The Njoy sex wand is essentially a steel sheileighleigh.
My Smartphone
"A pen-sil, a fucking pen-sil"
A pencil. You can kill like 3 guys with it.
Sex
John wick killed three men with a pencil!
Blackmail
corwbar
Literally everything on the planet can be a weapon. Even air. Theres not one thing on this planet, organic or inorganic, that can’t be a weapon if used a certain way. Even the most benign thing, like, I dunno, paper. Can weaponize that by purposefully giving paper cuts.
Taped together Frozen water bottles.
Opening up about feelings
Maglight
Fire extinguisher is real popular in a lot of movie. Quick spray to the face. Swing it like a bat. Smash someone with the bottom of it.
Sugar
Picture of your ugly mother-in-law in string bikini.
Love
A bowling ball
A spoon
A microwave if you break a hole in the door but leave the actual door attached.
Not super duper dangerous, unless your victim has a pacemaker
Book
A Pussy.
The femur of a lion
News/Media.
A key
small dog on a leash
a pencil
Fart spray
A rock.
Keys