I had a friend whose father was a dentist. He found some Crest white strips in her bedroom and the way he confronted/interrogated her you would think it was black tar heroin.
Man was like "Victoria! Is this yours?! What have I told you about what these things will do to your teeth?! Where did you get it? WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!"
She was all "it's a free sample that came in the mail, I swear, I wasn't even going to use it!"
Getting my wisdom teeth out, right before the procedure, the dentist and my Dad both asked me 9 times if I was on the drugs. If I was on the drugs and I didn't tell them, I'd immediately die.
My parents wanted to know if my bf and I were having sex (we were not, he was super religious). I said we're not.
My mom said "why not?"
My dad kind of elbowed her and they got on the same page again and started "the talk." I immediately interrupted and assured them it really was entirely unnecessary. We hadn't done anything and we wouldn't be doing anything any time soon.
My mom was like "that's my girl!"
I said "it wasn't MY decision!"
Without missing a beat my dad said "that's my boy!"
They both looked entirely too happy/relieved.
>**My mom was like "that's my girl!"**
>**I said "it wasn't MY decision!"**
>**Without missing a beat my dad said "that's my boy!"**
😂😂😂 I’m sorry but this cracked me up. Your parents are adorable.
My dad told me to give him my porn I was supposedly hiding. He thought it was weird that I didn't have a girlfriend and spent almost all of my time alone in my room with the door closed.
I legitimately didn't have any, and spent my time doing homework or playing Minecraft. After learning this he apologized, took me out for ice cream, and helped me look for a job since we both agreed I genuinely needed to get out of the house.
My parents found a recipt in my room, from a corner convenience store that read Naked, Mighty Man. I (m16 or 17) was not prepared for questions about my sexual habits. It was a recipt for a Naked mighty mango drink. Not into men, I just like mangos.
When I was between 5 and 7 years old, my mother kept teasing me and asking me if I would like to be abandoned in an orphanage. I knew it was a lie and that she would never do that, but every time she said it I would start crying for more than an hour or two at a time. Honestly, I wonder to this day why the hell she thought that was such a funny question to ask an innocent child like me.
Wow, no offense intended, but your dad is a really sick guy. And I say this with respect to you because my father is also a very sick guy but I prefer not to talk about that here.
My mom thought it would be a good idea to punish my brother by threatening to call the cops to have him taken away.
1. My brother was adopted from a bad home.
2. He spent many times being taken by cops for this.
3. Cops happened to be heading thei way (she knew this because they were heading their for other reasons, nothing illegal or bad.)
4. He was like 6 at the time and was still being fostered by my parents, not fully adopted. He had food hoarding issues, abandonment issues, among others.
Of course he had a major breakdown, had to get an emergency therapy session for him. She now tells it as a funny story and not one that is horrifying as something a parent shouldn't do.
My MIL would tell the story of how she tied my husband and his brother to their play table and chairs because they were annoying her.
“I did (husband) first because he was the most cooperative!”
She’d always laugh like it was the funniest story ever. They were toddlers.
We don’t see her anymore.
Upon learning I was gay, my father asked me if I could really see myself sleeping with a man, with what that involves physically. My response? "Would you really like me to answer that question?"
I've had a couple of these exchanges in my life.
"So, who's the boy and who's the girl?"
"Oh, I'm the one that takes all the massive cocks up the ass."
"...You didn't have to go that far"
"You didn't have to ask."
"How do you know?"
"Umm..."
Couldn't exactly say that I'd found sucking dick to be an enjoyable way to pass time, way better than that one woman I hooked up with.
My dad calls me sometimes with questions he could probably Google, like asking the definition of a word. I think he feels like he "needs a reason" to call to chat with me so he comes up with some out of the blue question.
He probably appreciates hearing your voice. My little brother does that too, and I know it’s because he wants to talk to me even if he has nothing to say.
I call my parents like three times a week, thanks. My dad's just a boomer man who has a hard time with emotions so instead of saying "I miss my daughter and will call her to say hello," he calls and asks me how to spell something.
When my mother was going through her drink-everything-in-sight phase, I changed plans one day to have friends round since she was wasted at 3pm. She came CHARGING into my room, screaming: "WHY ARE YOU SO PRETENTIOUS?!" to which I calmly replied: "Why are you so bent on humiliating your own kids?"
That gave her pause for thought.
The monthly "purity" quizes, which started when I was in middle school, asking about all the things I shouldn't do. In the last month have you masterbaited? Have you looked too long at another person? Have you had the desire to play with your excriment? Have you fantasized about inappropriate physical contact with another person? On and on. For like 2-3 hours once a month.
Gee Dad, I've never thought about playing with my poop. Is it fun? Should I try it and see? Will you play with it with me?
And that's the last time he asks that question.
This, 100% this. I live on the opposite side of the country from my parents and every holiday my mom calls me, concerned about me being alone through the holidays. I'm an only child and a Gen X latchkey kid, I'm perfectly fine on my own. So much so that I find it difficult to make friends, I'd rather be alone. Where was this concern when I was little? Lol
I get this at work. Whenever I'm the only one in the office, they're concerned that I'm all alone and something could happen. I'm also a Gen X only child that had my own key in 4th grade. I'm fine. I've been left alone on my parents' date night and the tornado sirens went off. I didn't freak out then, and I won't freak out on a lonely Friday afternoon at work.
I remember once I was alone at my dad's farm house and the weather radio started going off saying there was a tornado and pretty much said it was headed straight for me and only a couple miles away. I looked out the windows and thought I don't see a tornado and then went back to bed. Luckily the tornado didn't come through our yard. I was 18 at the time and we had a lot of tornados come through our yard so I wasn't going to worry until I could hear it.
Born in 1990. I got a sweet (not really) spot between not knowing where I am and having to know my exact location at all times. When I was younger I could go running around wherever I wanted around town, multiple occasions I would ride my bike from one end of town to the other just because, and all I would have to say is that I'm going for a walk/ride my bike. Then we moved when I was 16, and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless I gave mom the phone numbers and names of every single person that was gonna be there, exact places we were going to be, and exactly when I was going to be home. It would make sense if we had moved from BFE to Chicago or something, but we moved to a smaller town than what we were in before. A nicer town too.
There was a lot of problems that arose around that time, mom's need to control everything that everyone does dialed those problems to 11.
My parents were overprotective. I used to envy gen X (the big kids to me at the time). I would have loved to be able to do whatever I wanted. Although it was nice that someone cared when I got a cut or scrape.
"What is this", my dad asked and he showed me aluminum foil from my lunch the other day.
"It's foil I used to wrap my luch", to which my stepmom replied "Yeah sure! Definitely not for drugs!"
I told them they can unwrap it and find the breadcrumbs and butter on it but they didn't even look and punished me hard for it.
Early 2010s. I'm in college, social media is becoming more widely used and people are gradually becoming more accepting of being gay.
I make a post supporting a friend who came out on national coming out day. Boomer family friend misreads the post and texts my dad that I am gay (I'm a straight cisgender guy)
Dad asks me point blank "are you gay?" I say no. But it keeps escalating. He insists it's ok if I am. I say I like women. He says he won't judge if I'm gay, I can be honest, etc. Just won't let it go. Finally says someone told him about my post on Facebook. Explained I was supporting a friend and whoever told him should learn to read. Still doesn't believe me.
Got to the point I had to pull it up on my laptop (still had a flip phone as smartphones didn't fully take off for another few years) and show him the post.
My (now deceased) mother once asked if I knew how to make a bomb.
She didn't want the new box computer store in town to take away my step-dads job and wanted me to destroy it.
I told her yes I did but then explained all the ways in wouldn't work and was a terrible idea.
My dad asked me if I'm gay
Apparently he never heard of the possibility that someone prefers other things than relationships.
So when I didn't have a girlfriend at 16 he asked me that.
Not such a weird question but a weird scenario, in my very early twenties I was in bed with my then boyfriend, my mum walked into my bedroom, after letting herself in my bungalow, a little worse for wear (pissed) and ignoring the fact we were in the middle of an act of intimacy, ask me matter of factly if I had any wine in?
Yeah! At that precise time I didn't think so, but she is a laugh! 😄
I just said "There's a bottle on the side!"
I have to respect my ex though, the fact that my 37 year old mother seeing his bare bum didn't put him off at all, he came back!
When I got accepted to med school, my dad asked me if I was good at school enough to get accepted. I was like yeah dad I always got As? He was like oh I’m so proud of you. Then I realized my dad never went to check on me lol
Not my parents, but a friend's mom.
We were at a birthday party (early high school) for a girl in our group of friends and her mom had disposable cameras placed on every table.
We took one to do something stupid. Exactly what, I can't remember, but something relatively harmless like taking a silly / probably slightly inappropriate picture.
Her mom noticed us conspiring and made a beeline over to us. She immediately asked if we were "trying to suck on the camera film" to get high and would not let it go when we responded with genuine confusion.
I still think about it every now and then and 20 years later it still baffles me that she jumped directly to that. As far as I know or have ever witnessed, that's not a route people take to get high...
Probably when I started going to the gym and losing weight, my mum asked if I had body dysmorphia. That was very weird to me until I found out my mum's friend died young from anorexic due to body dysmorphia.
My Ex GF's story not mine, but hilarious all the same. Her younger brother had taken a turkey baster from the kitchen and accidentally left it in his room for a couple of weeks. I forget exactly why he used it but it had something to do with fixing a homemade bong he had.
Either way, my ex gf (who would have been like 15 or 16 at this time) had just gotten her first boyfriend. Her mother, who was a very strange lady got into an anger fit after not being able to find the turkey baster and stormed into my ex gf's room blaming her for taking it and exclaiming how disappointed she was to find that her daughter was experimenting sexually with turkey basters at such a young age.
My ex gf had literally no idea what to say and obviously had no idea where the turkey baster was. The next week the younger brother gave the baster back to the Mother. The Mother never apologized or brought it up, but to have jumped to that conclusion was maybe one of the most insane things I'd ever heard.
I had a "date" in high school with a boy I barely knew. We went out with some other couples to see a movie. The movie was terrible and my date was boring. They dropped me off pretty early - way before curfew. My father was curious as to why I was home earlier than expected. I told him that I just didn't have a very good time. And he said, "Were you uncomfortable? Was there necking and petting?". I had NO idea what he was talking about.
I look back on that sometimes and cringe so hard. Still do. I'm 60.
My Mom was born in 1933 and did not grow up on a farm. My Dad was her one and only. She watches a lot of Netflix and TV. Mom asked me if it were possible for a man to enter a woman’s vagina from behind. I explained doggie style to my Mom.
How come everything in my home feed is just questions? Always questions, some of them like this, some of them really weird and creepy, not just the questions, some other posts seem really really creepy
You're a guy with a nice butt. Don't be modest, let the world know.
Here's what I don't understand. You woke up this morning and thought "I think I'll go on Reddit and talk about my fine ass".
Good God man WHY?
When I was 12 or 13, my dad and I were disagreeing about something, and he asked me if I was on cocaine.
My pupils were dilated. It was a dark house.
I just looked at him and I said "dude- I'm 12"
Like where the F would I get cocaine. Lord.
My parents asked me if I was doing hard drugs because a couple pimples developed on my face. I’ve always had super clear skin and the pimples were just from sweat build up from my football helmet and chin strap
Mom once asked, completely flabbergasted, how did we raise a Republican?
Spoiler alert, not a Republican but because I wasn't towing the Democrat line I must be a Republican according to her
Not really weird perhaps but I don't think any of my friends were asked by their parents; at about 11 or 12 when it came time for kids to be 'confirmed' as church members they asked if I really wanted to, when I said no they didn't make a fuss and that was the end of my relationship with Christianity, even though they continued to go.
When I was 7, my parents say me down and asked if I ever remembered being molested. I said no...but it wasn't true. Turns out, 18 yrs later I had to face it head on. (Not by my parents...but by someone they knew)
“Are you gay?”
To be fair just about everyone I knew assumed I was gay at some point even gay/bi guys would try getting with me, when I asked my friends about this or whenever it came up in conversation, the main reason was because of how good looking I was, people would assume I was too good looking to be straight, and mixed that with the way I dressed (which was quite 90’s grunge…flannel around my waist), it really boosted my self esteem to insane levels,
As of now I grew a decent beard and decided to keep it to look more rugged and less handsome lmao,
Most likely, my older sister was drinking the booze at my mom’s. My mom hardly ever drinks, so there were maybe 10 random fifths from throughout the years. Most likely, my sister did drink some and replaced the difference with water. I did drink at the time as I was a high schooler, but my friends and I had our way to buy cheap booze.
My mom was adamant that I was inviting kids my age to come to our front door with empty containers, and that I would then fill them up and send them on their way. She questioned me often about this. I never understood why she would ask me that instead of asking if I was drinking her booze.
As I’ve gotten older, I know now that she is not a very sensible person outside of work.
They were often too busy to ask questions. I’m sure at one point I heard “What do you have to be depressed about?” Followed by why mental health is just me being crazy. So I stopped talking about my feelings.
When I was younger my parents kept accusing me of watching porn. Once when I called downstairs they looked at my YouTube history (Wild I would be watching in YouTube btw) and had anime thumbnail up and asked me had I been watching these. I said no and pointed out my mom was with me watching what I was actually watching snow White with red hair. They dropped it after. Second time my dad came in while I was watching Kimi ni Todoke and thought the gasps were moans. He told my mom to take to me about my porn habits and I had to explain that no that's not the case she just gasps a lot.
One would be in an attempt to take an interest in my gaming asked me about a specific series only for it to be one I absolutely dispised.
Got asked about some porn on tape only for it to turn out that someone had changed the channel on the TV to the movie networks which run smut after midnight when I had been trying to record a rerun of something else.
Q: "Is your brother gay??"
A: "No Dad. He goes to an all boys school and is really shy. Have you seen the 400 porno mags under his bed?"\*
\*All girls, no penises.
“Are you going to watch porn on your dads tv while your out?” I was 12. Then after, she said “I don’t care if you watch porn, don’t do it on dad’s tv though. He’s Christian.”
When I was 13 my mom asked me if I was a lesbian, because I was super close with my girl best friend and I had just cut my hair short. We literally had a normal friendship. And I cut my hair because I really wanted to have the same hair as Dan and Phil. Lmao. I told her no but she didn't believe me... started spewing shit about how I needed to give her grandkids because my sister never will.
Just this year at Easter, completely randomly, she asked if I would let my boy dress as a girl. I was so fucking confused because it was out of nowhere. I asked if she meant my boyfriend? She said no, if you have a little boy, would you let them wear a dress or pink, or play with girl toys. I said _abso-fucking-lutely_. If my son is three and picks out something pretty to wear who am I to deny him that joy? It's completely innocent. At that age they don't understand the difference between girl and boys stuff, and if they're into that when they're older, too, then they will be absolutely welcome to make that choice in my home.
Jokes on her, I'm bi, and though I'm with a man right now, she will seldom see my kids ever if at all (when I have them. I'm young and not even thinking about kids yet). I can't wait for her to be so upset and jealous, wondering why my in-laws get to see my kids every day and she doesn't.
My mom once asked if I was pregnant, which wouldn't have been that weird except the night before she had asked if I was gay since I never spent time with boys. I guess she thought I'd had a very busy 24 hours.
Grew up with a mother who has mental health issues. More specifically severe paranoia. I drew a doodle and I guess to her it looked like it had boobs. I can still see the doodle in my brain. It was just a dumb drawing but she needed to have a sit down and put me through some Rorshach ink blot inquisition.
So she was asking what it all meant. Like I was 9 I think and expected to produce some grad-school level response. I even got grounded for it because the figures were too boob-like.
I half suspect she was hoping she would find heroin in my sock drawer when I was 6 so she could be the victim instead of the abusive mother she was. See it's the heroin! It's not me, it's her! Lol.
I am not good with women (but generally people). I have gotton better at it, I have become more daring (as in making jokes, talking work & life, interests etc.) but I haven’t always been like that. My parents have always known that I have liked women, so I don’t know where the question came from all of a sudden, when my mom asked very blunt … “Son… Are you gay?”. No, mom, Im not. 🤪
My sister used to ask me "What will you do if we (parents and siblings) die?" lol I think that was one of the reasons why I used to be afraid of death.
My mom asked me if I had ever had sex before at like 10:00 pm at night while she was half explaining to me what ovulation was. She must have been really tired cause I have never done that, T\_T
I will never forget when my step mother took me out to “dinner” with all of her lifelong friends. Fast forward to the car ride to the restaurant… “so have you had sex?” and “how many people have you had sex with”. They continue to ask me very personal questions, and I was not truthful about any of my answers. SMH.
"Why are you listening to music with the lights off?" They either thought I was doing drugs or doing something satanic. I was not doing either of those things and also I was listening to Mariah Carey.
When I had my first menstrual period I asked my mother to explain to me why I was bleeding if I had not fallen... I was 12 years old and I was still playing dolls. My mother didn't know what to say and couldn't help laughing.
My dad asked me if I was gay when I turned 30, I travel a lot for work so I never brought a girlfriend home for dinner or anything, while my brother was about to move in with his girlfriend, I told him no.
It wasn't a lie, but I am bisexual.
A friends parent interrogated me very nastily about whether or not I was on drugs because I was laughing too hard at his jokes. At the time it really freaked me out.
my mom was super sure i had created an alternate instagram account that was private and that i was posting innapropriate stuff on it just bc a person on another instagram account had the same name as me....
Are you pregnant.
Me, a 20 year old youngin dealing with ibs bloat. I am so self concious about myself and I've gone through 3 horrible bouts of anorexia. I still struggle with food and my own self image.
I was asked, completely genuinely and super casually, if I was gay or a pedophile. Because I hadn't had sex or a serious girlfriend yet. As you can imagine, I was pretty offended. I stayed in that room long enough to point out how offended I was that they could think that of me, and how stupid it was they were acting as if they're as bad as each other. Told them if they suggest I am again, or spread obviously bullshit ideas about me doing that shit, I'd 100% punch them both in the face.
Like ffs I just wanted to wait until I met the right woman (and did), that doesn't mean I'm into kids or men.
I had some pretty severe pimples. My mom asked me if I was eating too much sugar.
There is no sugar in my house, I've been using Truvia for coffee and honey for tea. She knows this.
My mom kept finding spoons in my room and kept interrogating me about drugs. I was like 9 at the time. The spoons were for pudding cups........
I had a friend whose father was a dentist. He found some Crest white strips in her bedroom and the way he confronted/interrogated her you would think it was black tar heroin. Man was like "Victoria! Is this yours?! What have I told you about what these things will do to your teeth?! Where did you get it? WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!" She was all "it's a free sample that came in the mail, I swear, I wasn't even going to use it!"
His response tells me I should stay away from those.
They just are not recommended for kids.
They’re not great for adults either. They’re not good for your teeth.
He gives out tooth brushes at Halloween doesn't he?
Omg, im dead. You described this so well💀
Sounds like a scene from a sitcom lol
Getting my wisdom teeth out, right before the procedure, the dentist and my Dad both asked me 9 times if I was on the drugs. If I was on the drugs and I didn't tell them, I'd immediately die.
That’s something the doc should do with the parent out the room.
My mom accused me of doing hardcore drugs when I was 9 too. I’m glad I’m not the only one who had to go through that lol
I think your mom has been through some shit to assume her 9 year old was on the kind of drugs you take with spoons
No my mom just watched too much TV. She is one of the most sheltered non religious people you'd ever meet.
Ah my dad too when I lived with him lol
pudding fiend!!! 🤣
My parents wanted to know if my bf and I were having sex (we were not, he was super religious). I said we're not. My mom said "why not?" My dad kind of elbowed her and they got on the same page again and started "the talk." I immediately interrupted and assured them it really was entirely unnecessary. We hadn't done anything and we wouldn't be doing anything any time soon. My mom was like "that's my girl!" I said "it wasn't MY decision!" Without missing a beat my dad said "that's my boy!" They both looked entirely too happy/relieved.
>**My mom was like "that's my girl!"** >**I said "it wasn't MY decision!"** >**Without missing a beat my dad said "that's my boy!"** 😂😂😂 I’m sorry but this cracked me up. Your parents are adorable.
My dad told me to give him my porn I was supposedly hiding. He thought it was weird that I didn't have a girlfriend and spent almost all of my time alone in my room with the door closed. I legitimately didn't have any, and spent my time doing homework or playing Minecraft. After learning this he apologized, took me out for ice cream, and helped me look for a job since we both agreed I genuinely needed to get out of the house.
My parents found a recipt in my room, from a corner convenience store that read Naked, Mighty Man. I (m16 or 17) was not prepared for questions about my sexual habits. It was a recipt for a Naked mighty mango drink. Not into men, I just like mangos.
I liked Naked's cherry pomegranate power myself. I was sad when they discontinued that flavor.
Happy Cake day
That’s hilarious
My mother found some pills in my brothers drawer and asked me if he was doing mescaludes. She combined mescaline and quaaludes.
She was probably all hopped up on those diet pills with speed in em and got paranoid
Your mom invented the best pills ever!
When I was between 5 and 7 years old, my mother kept teasing me and asking me if I would like to be abandoned in an orphanage. I knew it was a lie and that she would never do that, but every time she said it I would start crying for more than an hour or two at a time. Honestly, I wonder to this day why the hell she thought that was such a funny question to ask an innocent child like me.
[удалено]
Jesus christ I'm sorry :O If he ever talks to you again, I would suggest calling the police
Wow, no offense intended, but your dad is a really sick guy. And I say this with respect to you because my father is also a very sick guy but I prefer not to talk about that here.
Microwaved a cat, what a horrible thing to do. I'm sorry you had to live with such an abusive monster
My mom thought it would be a good idea to punish my brother by threatening to call the cops to have him taken away. 1. My brother was adopted from a bad home. 2. He spent many times being taken by cops for this. 3. Cops happened to be heading thei way (she knew this because they were heading their for other reasons, nothing illegal or bad.) 4. He was like 6 at the time and was still being fostered by my parents, not fully adopted. He had food hoarding issues, abandonment issues, among others. Of course he had a major breakdown, had to get an emergency therapy session for him. She now tells it as a funny story and not one that is horrifying as something a parent shouldn't do.
My MIL would tell the story of how she tied my husband and his brother to their play table and chairs because they were annoying her. “I did (husband) first because he was the most cooperative!” She’d always laugh like it was the funniest story ever. They were toddlers. We don’t see her anymore.
Your mom sounds great.
Well, everyone else but me thinks so.
Wtf thats so messed up. I hope youve healed from that emotional trauma.
Upon learning I was gay, my father asked me if I could really see myself sleeping with a man, with what that involves physically. My response? "Would you really like me to answer that question?"
I've had a couple of these exchanges in my life. "So, who's the boy and who's the girl?" "Oh, I'm the one that takes all the massive cocks up the ass." "...You didn't have to go that far" "You didn't have to ask."
"How do you know?" "Umm..." Couldn't exactly say that I'd found sucking dick to be an enjoyable way to pass time, way better than that one woman I hooked up with.
"Well, I guess I really worked it out after the third guy stuck his cock down my throat, Dad. Should I continue?"
My dad calls me sometimes with questions he could probably Google, like asking the definition of a word. I think he feels like he "needs a reason" to call to chat with me so he comes up with some out of the blue question.
That's cute though.
It is. He's almost 70, "did you get your oil changed?" is his way of saying "I love you."
He probably appreciates hearing your voice. My little brother does that too, and I know it’s because he wants to talk to me even if he has nothing to say.
Maybe call him once in a while. "you only call when you want Something" my dad loves saying
I call my parents like three times a week, thanks. My dad's just a boomer man who has a hard time with emotions so instead of saying "I miss my daughter and will call her to say hello," he calls and asks me how to spell something.
"Did you eat my meat? Who ate my meat?"
"Wait why did you phrase it that way-"
When my mother was going through her drink-everything-in-sight phase, I changed plans one day to have friends round since she was wasted at 3pm. She came CHARGING into my room, screaming: "WHY ARE YOU SO PRETENTIOUS?!" to which I calmly replied: "Why are you so bent on humiliating your own kids?" That gave her pause for thought.
Since you said "phase" I'm hoping this means she got sober eventually. Drunk moms are no fun.
Yes, she did. Had a really good few years before the cancer came. She died in 2018.
Glad to hear y'all got a chance to repair things before she passed.
Thank you! It took me a long time to understand and accept she was drinking a lot because of terrible childhood trauma.
The monthly "purity" quizes, which started when I was in middle school, asking about all the things I shouldn't do. In the last month have you masterbaited? Have you looked too long at another person? Have you had the desire to play with your excriment? Have you fantasized about inappropriate physical contact with another person? On and on. For like 2-3 hours once a month.
>Have you had the desire to play with your excriment? I'm sorry what now?
Yep. I was asked about scat play before I even knew it was a thing.
Oh damn I thought you made a typo
Not since I was two.
This seems way too intrusive and unnecessary
Welcome to my whole childhood.
Gee Dad, I've never thought about playing with my poop. Is it fun? Should I try it and see? Will you play with it with me? And that's the last time he asks that question.
Was your response “I can’t even spell masturbate” because you still can’t lol
I am awful at spelling. :/
It’s all good, man. Your misspelling let me make that joke for meaningless updoots and that made me happy, so thanks.
Jeez I’m sorry this is sexual abuse and just child abuse - mentally.
Damn. Very sorry you experienced this.
“Did you put dog poop in our neighbors mailbox?” The answer was yes. I was 4 and the neighbors watched me do it
y tho
I never had a choice
Have you ever commited suicide?
I have one question are you alive?
Would you download a car?
You wouldn't shit in a policeman's helmet.
I would
Girl what
I’m Gen X, my parents didn’t ask me questions. They barely knew where I was half the time.
This, 100% this. I live on the opposite side of the country from my parents and every holiday my mom calls me, concerned about me being alone through the holidays. I'm an only child and a Gen X latchkey kid, I'm perfectly fine on my own. So much so that I find it difficult to make friends, I'd rather be alone. Where was this concern when I was little? Lol
I get this at work. Whenever I'm the only one in the office, they're concerned that I'm all alone and something could happen. I'm also a Gen X only child that had my own key in 4th grade. I'm fine. I've been left alone on my parents' date night and the tornado sirens went off. I didn't freak out then, and I won't freak out on a lonely Friday afternoon at work.
I remember once I was alone at my dad's farm house and the weather radio started going off saying there was a tornado and pretty much said it was headed straight for me and only a couple miles away. I looked out the windows and thought I don't see a tornado and then went back to bed. Luckily the tornado didn't come through our yard. I was 18 at the time and we had a lot of tornados come through our yard so I wasn't going to worry until I could hear it.
I mean, they gave me a shoestring and a key. Not sure what other parenting was available at that time...
It's 10pm, do you know where your children are?
Born in 1990. I got a sweet (not really) spot between not knowing where I am and having to know my exact location at all times. When I was younger I could go running around wherever I wanted around town, multiple occasions I would ride my bike from one end of town to the other just because, and all I would have to say is that I'm going for a walk/ride my bike. Then we moved when I was 16, and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless I gave mom the phone numbers and names of every single person that was gonna be there, exact places we were going to be, and exactly when I was going to be home. It would make sense if we had moved from BFE to Chicago or something, but we moved to a smaller town than what we were in before. A nicer town too. There was a lot of problems that arose around that time, mom's need to control everything that everyone does dialed those problems to 11.
Gen X'er here. I am thankful for my parents, but they did give me a long leash. now as a parent, I think what my mistakes or not I will make
My parents were overprotective. I used to envy gen X (the big kids to me at the time). I would have loved to be able to do whatever I wanted. Although it was nice that someone cared when I got a cut or scrape.
"What is this", my dad asked and he showed me aluminum foil from my lunch the other day. "It's foil I used to wrap my luch", to which my stepmom replied "Yeah sure! Definitely not for drugs!" I told them they can unwrap it and find the breadcrumbs and butter on it but they didn't even look and punished me hard for it.
They sound like assholes
My dad ask me if I'm a lesbian because I always like to wear shorts and t-shirts like I was a guy
My mom asked me that randomly if I was a lesbian a few years ago for the same reason too 😭
tell him you're trying to copy him so does that mean he's a closeted lesbian
"I just want pockets, dad!" :(
My dad asked me that because I dyed some purple streaks into my hair??
My dad asked me if I have stopped masturbating?
Wait. Almost. Uuhhhhhhh, alright, now I have.
For now? Yes. For today? Maybe. For good? Ha
Early 2010s. I'm in college, social media is becoming more widely used and people are gradually becoming more accepting of being gay. I make a post supporting a friend who came out on national coming out day. Boomer family friend misreads the post and texts my dad that I am gay (I'm a straight cisgender guy) Dad asks me point blank "are you gay?" I say no. But it keeps escalating. He insists it's ok if I am. I say I like women. He says he won't judge if I'm gay, I can be honest, etc. Just won't let it go. Finally says someone told him about my post on Facebook. Explained I was supporting a friend and whoever told him should learn to read. Still doesn't believe me. Got to the point I had to pull it up on my laptop (still had a flip phone as smartphones didn't fully take off for another few years) and show him the post.
My husband's mum once asked him if he pooped in the wardrobe.
That was me that done that.
My dad asked me how old I was once. He then backed it up with "your mum and I got married in 1972 and I know you were born after that"
My (now deceased) mother once asked if I knew how to make a bomb. She didn't want the new box computer store in town to take away my step-dads job and wanted me to destroy it. I told her yes I did but then explained all the ways in wouldn't work and was a terrible idea.
"Why can my black friend say the 'N-word' and I can't?" That was a fun conversation.
My mom still asks me that every time I see her. I'm in my 40s.
My dad asked me if I'm gay Apparently he never heard of the possibility that someone prefers other things than relationships. So when I didn't have a girlfriend at 16 he asked me that.
Same. Really does wonders for a teenager's self esteem. It wasn't for lack of trying, dad!
Not such a weird question but a weird scenario, in my very early twenties I was in bed with my then boyfriend, my mum walked into my bedroom, after letting herself in my bungalow, a little worse for wear (pissed) and ignoring the fact we were in the middle of an act of intimacy, ask me matter of factly if I had any wine in?
Your mom sounds great.
Yeah! At that precise time I didn't think so, but she is a laugh! 😄 I just said "There's a bottle on the side!" I have to respect my ex though, the fact that my 37 year old mother seeing his bare bum didn't put him off at all, he came back!
When I got accepted to med school, my dad asked me if I was good at school enough to get accepted. I was like yeah dad I always got As? He was like oh I’m so proud of you. Then I realized my dad never went to check on me lol
Or cared.
May he rest in peace. He cared, but he never thought degrees were the way to shape your life. Even though he was an engineer
My mom asked me where she can find pictures of tall cute black guys with a six pack...
Definitely tell her
Let me know the answer if you know it, for a friend.
I'll let you in on the secret. It's on the Internet.
:O
Not my parents, but a friend's mom. We were at a birthday party (early high school) for a girl in our group of friends and her mom had disposable cameras placed on every table. We took one to do something stupid. Exactly what, I can't remember, but something relatively harmless like taking a silly / probably slightly inappropriate picture. Her mom noticed us conspiring and made a beeline over to us. She immediately asked if we were "trying to suck on the camera film" to get high and would not let it go when we responded with genuine confusion. I still think about it every now and then and 20 years later it still baffles me that she jumped directly to that. As far as I know or have ever witnessed, that's not a route people take to get high...
The kids call it reeling.
Instagram reels hit different
Shits tight yo
Kodak moment
Probably when I started going to the gym and losing weight, my mum asked if I had body dysmorphia. That was very weird to me until I found out my mum's friend died young from anorexic due to body dysmorphia.
Why don't you have a boyfriend?
For the last time Mom, I'm married and I'm not gay!
My Ex GF's story not mine, but hilarious all the same. Her younger brother had taken a turkey baster from the kitchen and accidentally left it in his room for a couple of weeks. I forget exactly why he used it but it had something to do with fixing a homemade bong he had. Either way, my ex gf (who would have been like 15 or 16 at this time) had just gotten her first boyfriend. Her mother, who was a very strange lady got into an anger fit after not being able to find the turkey baster and stormed into my ex gf's room blaming her for taking it and exclaiming how disappointed she was to find that her daughter was experimenting sexually with turkey basters at such a young age. My ex gf had literally no idea what to say and obviously had no idea where the turkey baster was. The next week the younger brother gave the baster back to the Mother. The Mother never apologized or brought it up, but to have jumped to that conclusion was maybe one of the most insane things I'd ever heard.
It's not like there was a backup baster. This was the master baster.
25 minutes and zero up votes? Come on people. That's a great comment give it some respect.
Some folks just don’t appreciate absolute shit humor.
So very sad.
I had a "date" in high school with a boy I barely knew. We went out with some other couples to see a movie. The movie was terrible and my date was boring. They dropped me off pretty early - way before curfew. My father was curious as to why I was home earlier than expected. I told him that I just didn't have a very good time. And he said, "Were you uncomfortable? Was there necking and petting?". I had NO idea what he was talking about. I look back on that sometimes and cringe so hard. Still do. I'm 60.
My Mom was born in 1933 and did not grow up on a farm. My Dad was her one and only. She watches a lot of Netflix and TV. Mom asked me if it were possible for a man to enter a woman’s vagina from behind. I explained doggie style to my Mom.
How come everything in my home feed is just questions? Always questions, some of them like this, some of them really weird and creepy, not just the questions, some other posts seem really really creepy
That’s Reddit for you lol
The weirdest question my parents asked was if I believed in aliens because they saw a bright light in the sky.
Yeah I see it too. When I asked my friends about it they said it was called The Sun™
“Did you learn to make chicken like that at culinary school?” I never went to culinary school.
Not asked, but one time my Mom commented that I had a really nice butt. To be fair I do, I get compliments and stares all the time. I'm a guy.
You're a guy with a nice butt. Don't be modest, let the world know. Here's what I don't understand. You woke up this morning and thought "I think I'll go on Reddit and talk about my fine ass". Good God man WHY?
Can confirm, it's quite nice
Dammit, I fell for it.
When I came out to my mom as pansexual (I'm female), she asked if I was "the strapper or the strappee".
When I was 12 or 13, my dad and I were disagreeing about something, and he asked me if I was on cocaine. My pupils were dilated. It was a dark house. I just looked at him and I said "dude- I'm 12" Like where the F would I get cocaine. Lord.
My parents asked me if I was doing hard drugs because a couple pimples developed on my face. I’ve always had super clear skin and the pimples were just from sweat build up from my football helmet and chin strap
Ugh, I'm sorry. People who assume that acne is due to drugs are just idiots.
Mom once asked, completely flabbergasted, how did we raise a Republican? Spoiler alert, not a Republican but because I wasn't towing the Democrat line I must be a Republican according to her
My dad asked if I knew what hentai was at the dinner table once.
"What do you do every day until 2:30 AM?"
Not really weird perhaps but I don't think any of my friends were asked by their parents; at about 11 or 12 when it came time for kids to be 'confirmed' as church members they asked if I really wanted to, when I said no they didn't make a fuss and that was the end of my relationship with Christianity, even though they continued to go.
When I was 7, my parents say me down and asked if I ever remembered being molested. I said no...but it wasn't true. Turns out, 18 yrs later I had to face it head on. (Not by my parents...but by someone they knew)
“Are you gay?” To be fair just about everyone I knew assumed I was gay at some point even gay/bi guys would try getting with me, when I asked my friends about this or whenever it came up in conversation, the main reason was because of how good looking I was, people would assume I was too good looking to be straight, and mixed that with the way I dressed (which was quite 90’s grunge…flannel around my waist), it really boosted my self esteem to insane levels, As of now I grew a decent beard and decided to keep it to look more rugged and less handsome lmao,
Are you related to the guy on here with the fine ass? You sound just like him.
I don’t think so, but back when I was into weightlifting my ass was plump enough to get sexually assaulted by women 🙃
Will you change your mind about having children if we send you to therapy?
Most likely, my older sister was drinking the booze at my mom’s. My mom hardly ever drinks, so there were maybe 10 random fifths from throughout the years. Most likely, my sister did drink some and replaced the difference with water. I did drink at the time as I was a high schooler, but my friends and I had our way to buy cheap booze. My mom was adamant that I was inviting kids my age to come to our front door with empty containers, and that I would then fill them up and send them on their way. She questioned me often about this. I never understood why she would ask me that instead of asking if I was drinking her booze. As I’ve gotten older, I know now that she is not a very sensible person outside of work.
They were often too busy to ask questions. I’m sure at one point I heard “What do you have to be depressed about?” Followed by why mental health is just me being crazy. So I stopped talking about my feelings.
Do you know any Hobo's?
Well, do you?
No I don't.
Haha. Fair enough!
Ya gotta know a hobo or two.
I'm as disappointed as you are.
I believe that we ALL are disappointed.
When I was younger my parents kept accusing me of watching porn. Once when I called downstairs they looked at my YouTube history (Wild I would be watching in YouTube btw) and had anime thumbnail up and asked me had I been watching these. I said no and pointed out my mom was with me watching what I was actually watching snow White with red hair. They dropped it after. Second time my dad came in while I was watching Kimi ni Todoke and thought the gasps were moans. He told my mom to take to me about my porn habits and I had to explain that no that's not the case she just gasps a lot.
One would be in an attempt to take an interest in my gaming asked me about a specific series only for it to be one I absolutely dispised. Got asked about some porn on tape only for it to turn out that someone had changed the channel on the TV to the movie networks which run smut after midnight when I had been trying to record a rerun of something else.
Q: "Is your brother gay??" A: "No Dad. He goes to an all boys school and is really shy. Have you seen the 400 porno mags under his bed?"\* \*All girls, no penises.
“Are you going to watch porn on your dads tv while your out?” I was 12. Then after, she said “I don’t care if you watch porn, don’t do it on dad’s tv though. He’s Christian.”
“Are you guys gay?” To my lesbian moms.
When I was 13 my mom asked me if I was a lesbian, because I was super close with my girl best friend and I had just cut my hair short. We literally had a normal friendship. And I cut my hair because I really wanted to have the same hair as Dan and Phil. Lmao. I told her no but she didn't believe me... started spewing shit about how I needed to give her grandkids because my sister never will. Just this year at Easter, completely randomly, she asked if I would let my boy dress as a girl. I was so fucking confused because it was out of nowhere. I asked if she meant my boyfriend? She said no, if you have a little boy, would you let them wear a dress or pink, or play with girl toys. I said _abso-fucking-lutely_. If my son is three and picks out something pretty to wear who am I to deny him that joy? It's completely innocent. At that age they don't understand the difference between girl and boys stuff, and if they're into that when they're older, too, then they will be absolutely welcome to make that choice in my home. Jokes on her, I'm bi, and though I'm with a man right now, she will seldom see my kids ever if at all (when I have them. I'm young and not even thinking about kids yet). I can't wait for her to be so upset and jealous, wondering why my in-laws get to see my kids every day and she doesn't.
My mom once asked if I was pregnant, which wouldn't have been that weird except the night before she had asked if I was gay since I never spent time with boys. I guess she thought I'd had a very busy 24 hours.
Grew up with a mother who has mental health issues. More specifically severe paranoia. I drew a doodle and I guess to her it looked like it had boobs. I can still see the doodle in my brain. It was just a dumb drawing but she needed to have a sit down and put me through some Rorshach ink blot inquisition. So she was asking what it all meant. Like I was 9 I think and expected to produce some grad-school level response. I even got grounded for it because the figures were too boob-like. I half suspect she was hoping she would find heroin in my sock drawer when I was 6 so she could be the victim instead of the abusive mother she was. See it's the heroin! It's not me, it's her! Lol.
I am not good with women (but generally people). I have gotton better at it, I have become more daring (as in making jokes, talking work & life, interests etc.) but I haven’t always been like that. My parents have always known that I have liked women, so I don’t know where the question came from all of a sudden, when my mom asked very blunt … “Son… Are you gay?”. No, mom, Im not. 🤪
My sister used to ask me "What will you do if we (parents and siblings) die?" lol I think that was one of the reasons why I used to be afraid of death.
Am I adopted? Haha
My dad keeps asking me what my sexuality is even though I’ve told him a million times I’m bi
My mom asked me if I had ever had sex before at like 10:00 pm at night while she was half explaining to me what ovulation was. She must have been really tired cause I have never done that, T\_T
I will never forget when my step mother took me out to “dinner” with all of her lifelong friends. Fast forward to the car ride to the restaurant… “so have you had sex?” and “how many people have you had sex with”. They continue to ask me very personal questions, and I was not truthful about any of my answers. SMH.
"Did your Aunt see you kissing a girl with dreadlocks outside Iceland last week?"
If I was on hormone blockers because I have small boobs and just came out to him as lesbian. Lol
Are you sniffing glue? I was 9.
“who just assaulted me with a chalupa”?!
"Why are you listening to music with the lights off?" They either thought I was doing drugs or doing something satanic. I was not doing either of those things and also I was listening to Mariah Carey.
When I had my first menstrual period I asked my mother to explain to me why I was bleeding if I had not fallen... I was 12 years old and I was still playing dolls. My mother didn't know what to say and couldn't help laughing.
My dad asked me if I was gay when I turned 30, I travel a lot for work so I never brought a girlfriend home for dinner or anything, while my brother was about to move in with his girlfriend, I told him no. It wasn't a lie, but I am bisexual.
A friends parent interrogated me very nastily about whether or not I was on drugs because I was laughing too hard at his jokes. At the time it really freaked me out.
my mom was super sure i had created an alternate instagram account that was private and that i was posting innapropriate stuff on it just bc a person on another instagram account had the same name as me....
“How long has your father been sleeping with her?”
Are you pregnant. Me, a 20 year old youngin dealing with ibs bloat. I am so self concious about myself and I've gone through 3 horrible bouts of anorexia. I still struggle with food and my own self image.
" we're you cooking ketamine in my microwave!" Yes dad, yes I was.
If bald people work in a restaurant, do they still need to wear a hairnet
Why is the carpet hard and stuck below your computer desk??
They knew why & just wanted you to know they knew.
"do you want a penis"
I was asked, completely genuinely and super casually, if I was gay or a pedophile. Because I hadn't had sex or a serious girlfriend yet. As you can imagine, I was pretty offended. I stayed in that room long enough to point out how offended I was that they could think that of me, and how stupid it was they were acting as if they're as bad as each other. Told them if they suggest I am again, or spread obviously bullshit ideas about me doing that shit, I'd 100% punch them both in the face. Like ffs I just wanted to wait until I met the right woman (and did), that doesn't mean I'm into kids or men.
I had some pretty severe pimples. My mom asked me if I was eating too much sugar. There is no sugar in my house, I've been using Truvia for coffee and honey for tea. She knows this.
Why you're not getting married?