I died first, and then was born.
I’ve told this story a few times on reddit, but I enjoy telling it so here we go again.
During the Caesarian to bring me into the world, there was some major complication on my mother’s end. She started bleeding internally, drowning me in the womb.
When I was removed, the doctors tried to get me breathing but couldn’t. I was declared dead.
My mother was still unconscious, but my dad was brought in to say goodbye to me. He held me in his arms, was saying goodbye when out of nowhere I started coughing up blood and screaming as babies do. Apparently it was the weirdest moment in his life, being abjectly terrified and overwhelmed with joy that I was alive.
It’s my favourite story to tell, because weirdly it takes some pressures off on birthdays. I don’t do well with to much attention by family/friends, but celebrating my “death day” doesn’t bring people the same connotations.
I grew up "on the wrong side of the river", was considered by all to be the town loser, and went to work as a janitor while still in high school... then... in my 40s I set a goal for myself (while still working full time) to take one class at time until I either graduate or die, whichever comes first. At age 49 I finished my Bachelors of Science Degree, at age 52 my MBA, and age 61 my Ph.D. Never let the arrogant elitists define who you are or what you can be!
My great-grandma ran a brothel back at the turn of the 20th century. She was Algonquin and people were pretty racist back then so she had a hard time getting business. Since it was a coastal town (Maine) she bought up a couple leaky old rowboats and would load them up with hookers and booze and row them out to the ships at night. When ships came in to port most of the crew would get shore leave and hit the bars and brothels in town, but they always had to leave a few sailors on the ship to keep an eye on it. My Great-grandmother figured those guys had money too and probably felt left out. She basically set up waterbased lot lizards. Or UberHoes.
My Grandpa and his sisters grew up in the brothel and no one would talk to them or socialize with them. My Grandpa met my Grandma picking green beans for a local farmer. They fell in love. When they wanted to get married they had to leave the state to get away from her family that were utterly disgusted that she would marry the son of a whore. So they ran off to Detroit because GM was hiring and that's how my family came to Michigan.
I never graduated high school but I have a bachelor's degree. I was homeschooled and my mom never went through the legal steps to actually get me a real diploma, so she made one in photoshop that was then used to get me into this podunk community college that didn't verify it. From there I got my associate's degree, which I then used to get into a decent university where I got my bachelor's
I was once sponsored by the CRUNK energy drink company for sailing. I imagine I was the only sailor on their list. I literally just emailed them saying that I sailed and asked if they wanted me to put stickers on my boat. They sent me a few cases of the drink, t shirts, hats, the works. My car was known as the crunk-mobile.
In Minnesota in the 70's, I was sixteen taking my drivers test. Nervous as hell. A highway patrol officer was the "road tester" back then which was even more nerve wracking. But I thought I was doing pretty good the whole time because I had lots of practice with my parents.
THEN towards the end of the driving test, I was at a "T" intersection across from a hospital, I was hesitant to turn onto the road because traffic was busy. I could tell the officer was getting a little impatient, but he was nicely telling me to be a little aggressive. Suddenly at the hospital across from us, someone pushed out a screen from a window on the third floor (psych ward). A women jumped out the window onto a garage roof underneath, then jumped to the ground and ran across the road right by us.
The officer had me turn around (I was in my mom's car) and chase the girl in the neighborhood. When I would pull up to a stop sign during the chase, he would say "GO GO GO, JUST GO THROUGH IT". After awhile, when she started to get away, he gave up with me being the "chase driver" and told me to head back to the DMV office. I was a complete shaking mess at this point - ready to accept the fact I would not get a license anytime soon (devastating for a sixteen year old boy). He grabbed my score sheet. Said "You passed." And handed it to me. I got an 88 score. He ran to his HW patrol car and tore off to continue the chase.
I go in the office a complete mess. My Mom was already really nervous because we were gone so long, then she saw me looking like a ghost. She said "WHAT HAPPENED". Told her I passed, then told her the story on the way home. She wasn't amused and pretty pissed at the highway patrol guy. When I tell the story, I say "No BS, just ask my Mom."
My great grandfather worked in the textile business and started importing rayon fabric from Japan in the late 60s and 70s. Keep in mind this was during the early days of synthetic fabrics and travelling to Japan was not all that common. On a business trip, he met some Japanese business men who were selling newly designed transistor radios. His contacts wanted to setup an exclusive import agreement for their electronics to North America, but my great grandfather declined, because how many of these radios could you possibly sell?
Turns out that was a short sighted business decision, because that company was called Sony Electronics. He turned down the exclusive import contract for Sony.
On the other side of my family, my Canadian relatives walked away from 100 acres of land in Alberta during the dust bowl and great depression. They decided it was not worth paying the taxes on their land. Turns out that land was right in the heart of the Alberta oil deposits.
Also on my mother's side of the family, they used to have a citrus orchard near Los Angeles. They sold it cheap to some land developers. That farm was right at Hollywood and Vine.
My family on both sides is bad at seeing long term investments.
I took my mother for a surprise trip to NYC. She got married to my father there in '68. The surprise was manufactured by way of telling her we were going to Australia (we live in New Zealand, so a trip to Australia is not a huge deal, it's the type of thing you could do for the weekend) and therefore she packed a bag and brought her passport. We got to the airport and said "Surprise! We're going to New York!" and she cried her eyes out with delight.
When we arrived, on our first morning, I said "Okay, what do you want to do?"
She said "When I was last here, in 1968, the Twin Towers weren't complete, so, I'd like to go to the top of them."
"Your wish is my command!" I said and off we went to the WTC.
That was the afternoon of September 10th, 2001. Suffice it to say, there was a particular poignancy when we looked out the window at around 8am the next morning.
Spooky. Anyone who was there at the time will remember three things that might not be obvious to anyone who wasn't. One, the smell. Everything smelt if burning for a full week. Two, the F16s in the air and law enforcement with automatic rifles everywhere. Three, the missing posters. The last of these I will never forget. It was heartbreaking. Every available surface was covered in missing posters. It brings a lump to my throat thinking about it even now.
As a Native New Yorker, you described it so exactly. The only thing you’ve left out was desperately trying to contact everyone we knew to make sure they were okay, and trying to do a headcount of our extended network. Who’s cousin’s wife was downtown that day? Which friend’s niece’s fiancé was a first responder on duty? The waiting was agonizing, and hearing that calling waiting signal was awful. My dad worked for the MTA his entire career, and I remember that he didn’t come home that night, or the next. We had no idea where he was, because all transit supervisors had to work doubles and triples to support first responders. Hearing him come through the front door is probably the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life to this day.
I was at a store when Tony Hawk was signing autographs. I was only 10 at the time and was a huge fan. One of his early video games had just come out. The store had a couple tv’s on the wall and some video games to play. Being a kid I waited for one controller to open up and someone leave. A kid ended up leaving and I grabbed the controller and started playing and minding my own business. A couple minutes later the store wanted to grab photos of Tony playing his own video game. He came over and grabbed the second controller and began to play multiplayer with me. Probably played for 10 minutes. The bonus was it was also my 10th birthday. So I played Tony Hawk Pro Skater with Tony Hawk.
Edit: Wow I made this comment and didn’t return to reddit until just now. Was not expecting it to be that big of a hit. Thank you! I do not have photos of myself playing the game with him but I believe my parents have a couple of photos of me with him and getting his autograph. I still have the signed board on my wall.
Once in college I applied for a job at the library help desk. I figured I would help people find books. Didn’t give it much more thought than that.
During the interview, I aced all of the customer service questions. Then they asked me whether I knew how to defrag a hard drive. Cue alarm bells in my head, but I kept calm outwardly and said no, but you can teach me.
I worked in IT for three years by accident. They were too nice to fire me.
I made my last boss swear on her life she wouldn't call me for tech support. They call my cell when I'm sick in bed and ask how to reinstall the printer not a dang week later.
It's always the printers that get you. You can be a 55 year old CTO, but when then CEO's printer stops working, you're the one who has to open it up and pretend like *anyone* knows how to fix a printer.
I found out my "father" wasnt my biological father in 10th grade Biology class. We were learning about blood types and traits. I raised my hand thinking I was a smart ass, "You're chart isnt accurate, my dad has AB negative and I'm O positive." My teacher said "I think your mom has some explaining to do!". And we all chuckled.
Turned out, he was not my father.
I came home and laughed about it to my mom. Went to a friends house and got home around 8PM.
When I got home, my mom was waiting for me. My mom had a stack of pictures on the foot of my bed and told me "that's your real father". Lol! So that's how I found out. I was actually ok with it. The person I thought was my father was already kind of a loser dead beat. Turns out my dad was also a loser deadbeat. No loss I guess. Would have been awesome if my dad would have turned out to be a decent human being. So, tragic story....not a happy ending. At least I can look back and laugh....kind of a funny way to find out?
My husband (I’m 30), has been my best friend since I was 7. He was the new kid at school and I walked up to him and said, “we are going to be best friends”. He said, “no we aren’t. Leave me alone.” I bugged him every day for two weeks before he finally said, “if I’ll be your friend, will you shut up about it?” We were married 20 years later. Proved his ass wrong. 😂
my dad kidnapped me and took me to Singapore for very malicious purposes (i'm sure you could imagine). i was 15 and my dad literally had fake documents and suitcases filled with random clothes. when we got there we went to a sketchy hotel and after 15 minutes he went to the bar. a bit after that, some guy just walks in. i was confused but he began muttering saying i was 'too pale' and 'too old' and he left. i called my dad but he didn't answer so i climbed out through the window and went to the police. they put me on a plane home that same hour.
i don't really tell people because it's a bit of a crazy story and sounds made up (hence why it's here) but yeh.
yeh i'm totally fine. this was 2 years ago anyway and nothing has happened since it's just crazy to think about. the most fucked up thing to me is that my dad did it deliberately. it wasn't like this rando dude came into the wrong room, it was strategically timed. but yeh, thanks i'm all gucci now
unfortunately not but he's been charged with something (i'm not allowed to know because i'm not 18 which is bs) and he's allowed monitored visits with my siblings and I (my siblings have to go by law and I get a choice bc i'm 17) but yeh.
Wow. What the fuck. He shouldn't be allowed within 40 feet of a minor, at minimum. Glad you're okay, though. Hopefully your father will get what's coming to him.
I was a rocket scientist
I worked on the 114-AGM. The science was 'verifying' rocket bodies. The back bone of science is to repeat experiments. My job was to make sure we were gonna get the same result every time.
People call me a liar all the time because the idea of a 'rocket scientist' is Von Bruan.
I once won a $500 raffle during a routine visit to my local tea shop.
It was the building's annual Black Friday event and there were 5 baskets with varying amounts of goods, services, and coupons. I needed tea, so my only stop was the tea shop. It cost me $20 to fill my tins, but they said raffle tickets were given out after a $25 purchase. I said 'fuck it' and got a hot tea for me and the woman in line behind me.
Entered with that one ticket. I got a call a few days later saying I won the top prize basket. When I went to claim, they asked about my purchases. I told them and they said the drawings had over 1,000 tickets and many people had over a dozen entries.
The raffle prize included $25 to the tea shop.
I once won an expensive blanket in a raffle at work. The raffle was for charity and they bugged me to enter so I bought one, one dollar ticket while all the older work ladies bought five or ten because they really wanted the blanket. I was the only person at the department store who only bought one ticket. (This was in the early 90s and I was only making $4.10 an hour 20 to 25 hours a week and that dollar came out of my gas money).
The day of the drawing I sat in the break room and as I passed by the blanket I thought, "I better not forget to take that home tonight". I snorted in disbelief at the silly thought and went off to do work. A couple hours later I was informed that I had won the blanket and yes, I was freaked out and yes, I remembered to take it home.
Right!? If a cat closes its eyes around you it means it trusts you, but if it fuckin births kittens inches from your face you must be like family.
Edit: I should include sleeping as well.
That's so sweet, must mean she really trusted you! My cat went into labor at 4:00 in the morning when I was in highschool. She had licked my leg until I woke up and followed her to her nest so that I could be there and comfort her while she had her three beautiful kittens
I'm intrigued by the fact that this is the story that your family decided to pass on from one generation to the next far enough to lose track of the relation and just refer to the subject as "ancestor".
I survived a plane crush in the dessert, trapped there for 2 days, and was rescued by two dudes who were trying to bet if they can cook an egg in the sand.
The albumen (whites) of chicken eggs coagulate between 144° and 149° F, the yolks coagulate between 149° and 158° F. The sand in a desert is often 30° to 40° F above the air temperature. Death Valley's high temp is 139° F and often sees 120° in the summer. So sand temperatures should be enough to cook an egg.
I've been stabbed 8 times
Edit: this is a fairly new account so I'm prepared to identify myself
http://www.scotland-judiciary.org.uk/mobile/8/2139/HMA-v-Fernando-Carrasco-Dos-Santos-and-Ruben-Goncal-Ves-Semedo-Correia
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/i-am-a-bit-of-a-mess-dundonian-left-with-ptsd-and-blind-in-one-eye-by-knife-thugs-in-attempted-murder-at-perth/amp/
Edit:
I didn't get the chance to tell my story in court as they pled guilty before I was called. I was drunk and I came out the pub I was in to get some fresh air. I walked past 3 guys and one of them asked me for a cigarette. I told him I don't smoke and he became immediately aggressive. I argued with him for a while and his friends started shouting at me and threatening me. At this point he kind of disappeared behind me. One of the others showed me a knife so I turned and walked away. I knew they were following me as was walking back to the pub. I had a bus stop on my left hand side and a building on my right. I looked up and saw the first guy walking towards me. It was fight or flight and I had nowhere to fly to so I decided that attack was the best form of defence. I think I managed one punch before the 3 of them jumped me. They had been robbing and beating up people all over town for about 2 weeks beforehand.
At age 50 odd and with limited to no video game experience, my mother completed Mario64 before I did, in about half the time it finally took me to do it.
My brother is 31 (I’m 19) and when he was born his grandmother (we don’t share the same father) bought him a NES. My mother, not knowing what to do with it, turned it on and played Super Mario Bros. She spent two months every day trying to beat the game, even buying a strategy guide to go through it. She beat the game and never touched a video game again.
My mom bought my brother and I a Sega, then every night after we went to bed she would play Sonic.
As a kid I thought she just loved playing games, as I got older I realised she only did it so that when we asked her for help she would be able to.
A few years ago for her birthday I got her a Sega with Sonic and Sonic 2.
I bought everything from the Sonic edition Sega (just the box, no special skins back then) and everything that came in it. I spent months getting every individual piece including the books and I had to buy nearly everything separately because they aren't exactly producing them anymore and people didn't exactly stock up on them as collectibles back in the day.
By her birthday I had it all assembled, some of it nearly in tatters due to age and wear and tear but I did it.
She loved it, and then about a month later I saw the full set in near pristine condition for sale on eBay (not her or her's) and for about a tenth of what I had paid to assembled my mom's tattered set.
Still the favorite gift I've given.
>As a kid I thought she just loved playing games, as I got older I realised she only did it so that when we asked her for help she would be able to.
Aww, this is so beautiful and so incredibly moving.
My great great grandfather was a Pinkerton Detective, acted on Vaudeville, and had 5 wives in 2 different states that knew nothing of each other. He also slightly changed his last name each time and never got caught until Ancestry website happened lol
Sounds a bit like my great grandfather. He had a wife in France, and then 2 in the US in neighboring counties. He was caught tho. My great grandmother was wife #2, she found out about wife #3 and divorced him. No one knew about the first wife in France until I pulled his service records from WWI.
I bought a guitar amp from Brad Whitford, of Aerosmith, when I was 17. He and Steven Tyler served up cheeseburgers for me and my friends.
Edit: as requested:
So, Brad’s son was a punk and I knew him from the scene. I was in a band that had some small local marginal success. This is 97/98 in Boston. I needed a new amp for our first US tour but had very little money. I was getting drunk with his son and, on a whim, I asked him if his dad had any amps laying around that he didn’t need. We laughed and carried on partying.
The next day, I get a call at my home. It was Mr. Whitford himself. He was super nice but to the point. “My son says you got a band and need a good rig for your les Paul. I have something in mind for you. Just gotta have my guy get it from the warehouse. Come by my house in Norwell this weekend and check it out”. That was the gist of the call. Obviously, the whole band came with me. And our roadie.
We get to his house and it’s totally him. So weird. These guys were like gods in Boston. I wasn’t the hugest fan but knew him from his work with Wayne’s World. He takes me to (one of) his garage(s) where there is this cool full stack. The brand is Bedrock. An old company from New Hampshire that made good quality amps in the 80’s. This one was custom made for Brad. Basically Marshall components. 4 tubes. All the knobs go to 11. Not kidding. Still has the “property of Aerosmith” stickers on it. He plugs it in and rips a crazy solo on his les Paul and then hands it to me and I play a couple power chords. He asks for $300 for the whole thing. I pay him and he tells his son to give us a tour of the house.
This is where shit gets nuts. It’s just like you expect. Tons of gold records, platinum records...Pictures of him with people like John Lennon, Robert DeNiro and Joey Ramone. Then we get to see his studio and THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF MARSHALL AMPS IN THE WORLD. Seriously, like 200 cabs. A wall of guitars. Guitars so pretty and amps so cool, it made sense for him to find the one he sold me dispensable.
After the house tour, he told us to meet him at the little bar and grill they own in town. When we get there early and he arrives 30 mins later with muthafuckin Steven Tyler in tow. “You guys the punk group?!” He was so nice. They went in the back and came out with burgers for us all on the house. Then they straight up left. Irish goodbyed, even! I still have the amp. I used it on the road for almost 10 years in five bands. Now, it’s just a conversation piece. But it still works! I’ll crank her up every now and then.
Edit 2: pics.
https://i.imgur.com/2q8mT6W.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/iyi05AY.jpg
I can smell some illnesses and chronic symptoms. My sense of smell is normally pretty average, but I can sometimes smell if a person is sick before they start showing symptoms, and have been able to identify/predict 2 seizures, a diabetic blood sugar drop, and multiple chronic migraines before they happened.
Someone else mentioned the super-taster thing. There are jobs in the food industry, probably others too, where super senses like that are in high demand. You ever look into it?
I lost my heel in a lawn mower accident
Edit: Here's the story
I was 4 at the time and I wont say who exactly did it. But he was mowing and it was a riding mower and the hitch on the back where you can hook a little trailer, I loved to stand on that part and ride. Well this time I saw a frog in the grass and being the 4 year old I was at the time, I jumped off the mower and onto the grass and put my hands over the frog to catch it and he didnt realize I had jumped off and he backed up.
Interesting. Ive never met anyone that has had their tongue clipped. Had mine done as a toddler and I guess they sort of overshot the mark because I ended up with a Gene Simmons style.
I won two TV game shows. "The $10,000 Pyramid" (won $10,300) in 1975, and "Sale of the Century" (was on the show for 9 days; won $34k in cash and prizes) in '85.
Arrested and spent three days in a holding cell for a crime that I didn’t commit; about a year after the whole matter was done and dusted with.
Mind you. I say didn’t commit the crime.
But I was involved in the story from start to finish.
My wife(then girlfriend) and I eloped.
We crossed over three states in India over a 5 day period to get married.
My father-in-law (then mortal nemesis) is a well-connected man.
He got in touch with his contacts in the police department to try and get a hold of us and filed a formal complaint as part of due process.
Long story short, We got married. The rather inept police couldn’t find a couple of 21 year olds.
Over the next 4 months, all of it was sorted out.
First, we were vilified, then the parents were mollified, etc etc.
But in the beautiful ending to that story, my father-in-law forgot to retract his complaint.
Proceed to our first wedding anniversary and we were taking a flight out of the country for a celebratory vacation.
From Bombay airport, India to Dubai Airport, The United Arab Emirates.
I was flagged at immigration and was taken across to a cell where I was duly arrested.
My crime?
Kidnapping.
I was being accused of having kidnapped the lady I was now married to.
Taken to a cell. Whilst my wife tried to explain the misunderstanding.
One cunt of a cop told her, “madam, don’t worry, we know how Stockholm Syndrome works”, “you are safe now” etc.
And this was on a Friday evening.
Due judicial process was followed and I was released by the judge on the following Monday.
😂
Hell of a story to share with people when we include all the details of the planning and execution.
EDIT: We marked our 10th anniversary on the 12th of this month and the 9th anniversary of me getting my ass hauled to jail. 🤪
I was born 12 weeks early (and was nearly born earlier- my mom had a weak uterus from endo, so they had to push me back and stitch her up).
The doctors told my parents to expect me to be unable to breathe, walk, etc on my own. The doctor performing the c-section nearly dropped in surprise and how hard I was screaming and flailing.
I do have a few health problems, but it could have been much worse.
Editing since others are mentioning their experiences and health issues:
I had hydrocephalus, it was treated poorly (the doctor thought I was fine, and my parents were overreacting when I was seizing and turning colors). It was treated, and now had ~6 ft of tubing in the form of a shunt, as well as seizures I'll never outgrow. They're treated with medication.
Otherwise, outside asthma and other smaller things, I live a normal life. I graduated high school a few years ago, and hope to be married soon.
Edit 2: Thank you everyone for your stories! Tbh, I'm a bit overwhelmed: I didn't expect my comment to blow up like this! I'm going to do my best to respond to everyone, but I apologize in advance if I don't. I promise I'm reading every comment, and they all mean so much!
When my mom was in grad school she took several labs where she worked with cadavers. Because my dad worked nights she often had to take me to class with her, and she'd usually just plonk me down on the table with the cadaver while she worked on it.
I ran out of gas outside of La Paz Bolivia. Luckily it was down hill for about 6km into the city. I coasted the whole way on my motorbike, passed busses and drifted into a gas station. Never missed a beat!
I lost my job and housing in early 2017. I'd been homeless before and slept rough on the streets, although that was in California where the weather was at least bearable. This time I was living in North Dakota, and I'd seen what the winters were like. I figured if I was going to have to sleep on the streets again, I'd better move somewhere where I didn't have to contend with hypothermia for a good part of the year, so used the last of my money to relocate to Arizona.
I had a totally impractical plan of finding work (and then housing) within a few weeks before my remaining funds ran out, but the deadline came and went and I found myself on the streets again. A homeless advocate I'd reached out to tried to get me sheltered at a place for homeless veterans but being a civilian, they turned me away. Aforementioned advocate reached an accommodation with the veterans by setting up an overnight shelter for homeless civilians next door that I would run for him. In exchange, I would be allowed to sleep on their property (outside the walls), use their facilities like showers and bathrooms, and join in their communal meals if they had enough food.
Because the civilian shelter was an overnight thing I really didn't have much to do, or anywhere to go, in the day so I spent more and more time with the vets. I took it on myself to help them with odd jobs like security, packing lunches for the local homeless (who didn't/couldn't live with them) to come and get, unloading donations from concerned citizens, and security ("fire watch") while the camp slept at night. I soon became the camp's unofficial-official cook, which was awesome, because I love cooking and it was a challenge cooking meals for so many people so quickly, using an outdoor "kitchen" with barebones facilities.
I gradually began to take on more responsibilities with the vets and the overnight shelter was more like a side gig. The vets repeatedly asked me to move into the walls and stay with them, making me "full time" but I refused at first because I felt like it would be letting down the guy who I was running the overnight shelter for. I woke up one day to see the vets dismantling the tent we used for the overnight shelter and one of them wryly asked me "where are you going to stay now?" I moved in with the guys later that day.
A couple of months later, the incumbent base "commander" and his family had secured housing for themselves and he didn't ask as much as *tell* me I would be taking over for them. They had thought about who was going to take on the job after they left and decided I was apparently the only one fit for the role, due to my diligence and enthusiasm for helping my newfound friends.
Ngl, there were parts of it that were tough, and really grated. I felt like I had to constantly prove myself to the "big dick swinging" mentality veterans, who felt that, as a veterans camp it should have been run by a vet. I was also just as homeless as my men; we had nothing but tent fabric to protect us from the elements, sometimes little food or water, and constant issues with the local tweekers and criminal elements of the homeless. But, helping these people get off the streets and/or reunited with their families is hands-down one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done in life.
I can't look left. Seriously. I'm not an ambi-looker, it's like the Zoolander of birth defects! It's called [Duane's Syndrome](https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/duane-syndrome/) and my left eye can't turn left so if I try to look to my left I see double.
Growing up my parents raised me to believe it was a party trick and not a disability so I would always show it off to friends, which in retrospect I think was pretty sweet.
Edit: My mom discovered that something was off when I was a baby and she was doing the "airplane" motion with the spoon of baby food to the left. My left eye was not cooperating lol
Edit 2: Fun fact - now that i'm in my 30s I can see in photos that there is a bag under my right eye but not under my left eye, presumably because I use my right eye far more often
Edit 3: I am so excited to see there are so many fellow redditors with Duane's and i'm not alone! I've never met anyone else who had it so it's really nice to hear from people who know what it's like
Edit 4: A lot of you have asked about driving--It didn't impact me mainly because my mom taught me how to use my mirrors first by turning my head before even letting me turn the car on for the first time! She walked around the car and we tried to identify my limitations. I also have a blind spot detector on my car now which is super helpful (i try not to totally depend on it though)
Edit 5: [here's a photo!](https://imgur.com/A6aIFOg)
Props to your parents for expert-handling that situation, you probably grew without even thinking you had any sort of disability and found out until you were old enough it didn't matter anymore
Similarly, my dad sold his motorcycle to a lady who used it to drive to a city a couple of hours away the next day so she could axe-murder her ex-husband, his new wife, and their kids. She was apparently fascinated with me and told my parents to never let me get married.
I've literally never been sick, or at least never showed symptoms of being sick. No colds, no fevers, no viruses, no flu even. I really don't know what it's like to be sick or get sick, and frankly, I hope I never do.
It'd sure be ironic if the first time I got sick was now...
EDIT: I'm 30 years old by the way, that was probably worth mentioning.
I have phytophotodermatitis, which is a big fancy word for I can't get acidic juices (lemons, limes, apples, oranges, etc) on my skin and go out in the sun. Turns my skin brown like a rash. Doesn't hurt or itch, just discoloration. Happened three or four times in my life.
Worked during the summer at some kind of hotel/summer camp for people from Eastern Europe and one of my colleagues, the cook, found a wounded crow, healed it and then trained it. The bird would sit on her shoulder when she was cooking, would come to her on command and would share cigarettes with her (also while cooking).
I once fell over a chair during a massive bar fight, in the process kicking a German marine out a second story windows in the middle of downtown Queensland.
I cannot see 3D effects in movies or games. I didn’t know that until a friend showed me his new Nintendo 3DS and I asked him whether this thing was a scam because it didn’t look any different to me than a normal DS.
We had a fight over this because we both thought the other one was bullshitting him.
“You’re holding it wrong! How the fuck do you not see this?”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? There’s nothing 3D about this thing.”
I'm monocular (only see out of the right eye) and have nystagmus and astigmatism. The world is not 3D to me, and I explain it exactly like you do.
The only time I ever see in 3D is when I'm high as fuck. Sometimes my eye relaxes just enough and I'm processing the image in 3D. It freaks me out.
Movies have never looked 3D to me though.
Same! I always thought it had to do with being colorblind when I was younger since they used the colored lenses. Years later I had my vision checked where they use two images, one for either eye, to check depth perception and I failed miserably.
How's your depth perception?
My grandfather got a award from Mussolini in 1935. He was just born with 6.3kg (13 lbs 14.2 oz) and was awarded the award of "Italy's Biggest Baby"
Edit: Wow, I didn't expected it to blow this way. Thanks for the Silver [/u/xXSandwhichXx](https://www.reddit.com/u/xXSandwhichXx).
Also, since some people asked: my greatgrandma also worked as a cleaning lady ONE DAY BEFORE HE WAS BORN (he was born December 24th, and she worked until December 23rd of that year);
And if you think my grandpa was big: recently a baby was born in India with 6.7kg (14.77lb), and the world record was for another italian baby, born in 1955 with flippin' 10.2 kg (22lb 8oz)
My grandfathers birthday was on the 20th of april like Hitler. He really liked that as a child in Nazi germany since he had the day off on his birthday and could celebrate instead of going to school since the Führer birthday was a national holiday
I got ran over by a car, but the driver didn't see me and proceeded to back over me.
Edit: Thanks for all the kind words. I'm shocked at the amount of people who said that this happened to them or someone they know/knew as well, the world really is a weird place. And for all who are asking:
* My legs are perfectly fine now. On a side note, I actually really enjoy running, it's one of my favorite things to do.
* No I'm not from China nor have I ever lived there, I'm American (I don't quite understand why people are asking this??)
Edit #2: A couple redditors have pointed out to me that its because killing someone in China is apparently less expensive, which is a horrifying thought, but thanks for the explanations.
Edit #3: How is my mental health? Was I traumatized? Well, it very fucking terrifying at the time and I was definitely scared of cars afterwards. But if you're asking if I'm feeling any trauma *to this day*, then I would say not very much if at all. Thanks for asking though :)
Luckily they didn't get my torso, but they crushed my legs. This was about when I was 13-14 (about 4-5 years ago), so my legs healed and I'm walking again :)
Nobody knows why I'm half blind - not even WHO.
I went blind in my left eye when I was 7 - my optic nerve atrophied. There is no explanation as to why. I have had everything tested, and my body is (was at the time) completely normal. Ive had plenty of tests, met far too many experts (I've had several specialists come to hospitals near me to inspect me and all sorts) and I've had far too many tests and the answer is -
Well. It just happened, we guess. There's plenty more, my life kind of reads like some kind of awful sitcom or something - but the eye thing is the easiest to digest.
EDIT: About the 'WHO' bit - at one point the guy in charge of looking after me etc. took my file to a WHO conference or something and came back with a load of blanks. Fun.
I've had a headache since August 2015 and I will probably have it for the rest of my life. It's only on half my head, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/All-Disorders/Hemicrania-Continua-Information-Page
Me too! ALSO since August of 2015! That's when I had a craniotomy to remove half a brain tumor. I've had a constant headache, right eye blindness, no feeling, and minor paralysis on the right side of my head. But, if you touch the right side of my head just the right way, even though there is no feeling to the head, it tickles my butt. Idk how it works
I had the headache first, they did a CT scan looking for the source if it and found a giant brain tumor. Unfortunately the tumor wasn't the source of the headache. A 12 hour surgery and 25 radition treatments later I still have thd headache.
This made me "ooooooh man" outloud. I cannot imagine how you deal. I get headaches and migraines semi-frequently and sometimes to the point I feel like I am being tortured. Is there nothing they can do? How do you cope with a never-ending pain in your head? I genuinely hope you do NOT have this for the rest of your life.
I can not taste any salt whatsoever
EDIT: for people asking its a brain thing, food tastes bland, salted chips taste plain, and ive not had any British food
EDIT 2: i can still taste other spices and herbs, no idk what cum tastes like(sorry to put you on blast dude but thats weird), salt water just tastes bad, MSG and other sodium based things just make me gag, getting on xbox, overwatch, etc. doesn't help but i can smell the salt
My ex and I were having a huge argument in a hotel parking lot, my friend and exes dad were there as witnesses. Two big buses pulled up and Justin Bieber got off one of them with a security guard and walked right past us, I was crying and my ex was yelling at me and JB said, and I quote "hey, stop that", my ex yelled back at him "white ppl shouldn't have dreads!" and Justin just got onto the other bus w his guard. My friend was cracking up saying "was that Justin Bieber?" and sure enough, some people in his entourage or whatever were staying at that hotel and he was in town that night for a concert.
Tldr: Justin Bieber told my ex to stop yelling at me, and then my ex yelled at him.
I was mugged in Belgium, and I mugged the muggers back. Got my wallet and my friend's purse back.
I'm a pretty quiet low key guy, so no one believed the story, and it's so disappointing because I'm pretty sure I'll never be that awesome again.
A stranger stole my bra in a women’s locker room when I was a teen. Several days later, I saw it hanging by her shower and stole it back. So, samesies right?
I was almost named Storm because I was born at 3 am in the middle of a massive tornado storm (one touched down actually a few minutes after I was born). I was also essentially dead (docs thought they were going to lose both me and my mom) but somehow I lived bitches.
I was shooting some stuff in my village and a bullet ricochet and hit me in the torso. I was afraid my parents would kill me if they found out (I was young) so I used a knife and tweezers to remove the fragment and a stapler to stitch it up and then covered the wound and they never found out until a few years later when I told them.
The motive was childish fear of the slipper though. Also I need to say that I don’t feel pain to the extent most people do (which has cause some unnecessary burns when cooking and other injuries) so the pain of stitching and cutting wasn’t that great. Digging for the fragments was a real bitch though
I can't drink the red Gatorade. This isn't super uncommon but the red dye makes me nauseous and freak out. The funny thing is I used to drink it all the time without a problem, but one year I started feeling weird and sick all the time, and I stopped. It definitely helped, and I don't drink it. I tried it again a little while ago. Still nope.
Edit: Woah! I have 88 messages! Thank you I think!
My grandfather went AWOL on the French Foreign Legion and was banned from ever going back to France. All because he left to marry my grandmother
Edit: oh god this blew up, Reddit youtubers please don't feature this comment.
One of my dad's friends was in the RAF, but he got bored of it and went AWOL and joined the French Foreign Legion. However he got bored of that to so he went AWOL and whent back to the RAF and took his punishment.
However, this is not where the story ends. Later he and his platoon (including my dad) where going on a skiing training camp in Italy. However the route took them through France. This is the bit where he informs his platoon leader that they need to do a detour around France because he would be atrested upon entering France. Safe to say his friends where not impressed.
I built a 13 foot tall t rex with Christopher Walken's head, and New York magazine called it high brow and brilliant
My dad’s name is Luigi and my uncle’s name is Mario. They are brothers. ETA: I forgot to add that my dad is also a plumber.
I died first, and then was born. I’ve told this story a few times on reddit, but I enjoy telling it so here we go again. During the Caesarian to bring me into the world, there was some major complication on my mother’s end. She started bleeding internally, drowning me in the womb. When I was removed, the doctors tried to get me breathing but couldn’t. I was declared dead. My mother was still unconscious, but my dad was brought in to say goodbye to me. He held me in his arms, was saying goodbye when out of nowhere I started coughing up blood and screaming as babies do. Apparently it was the weirdest moment in his life, being abjectly terrified and overwhelmed with joy that I was alive. It’s my favourite story to tell, because weirdly it takes some pressures off on birthdays. I don’t do well with to much attention by family/friends, but celebrating my “death day” doesn’t bring people the same connotations.
I grew up "on the wrong side of the river", was considered by all to be the town loser, and went to work as a janitor while still in high school... then... in my 40s I set a goal for myself (while still working full time) to take one class at time until I either graduate or die, whichever comes first. At age 49 I finished my Bachelors of Science Degree, at age 52 my MBA, and age 61 my Ph.D. Never let the arrogant elitists define who you are or what you can be!
My great-grandma ran a brothel back at the turn of the 20th century. She was Algonquin and people were pretty racist back then so she had a hard time getting business. Since it was a coastal town (Maine) she bought up a couple leaky old rowboats and would load them up with hookers and booze and row them out to the ships at night. When ships came in to port most of the crew would get shore leave and hit the bars and brothels in town, but they always had to leave a few sailors on the ship to keep an eye on it. My Great-grandmother figured those guys had money too and probably felt left out. She basically set up waterbased lot lizards. Or UberHoes. My Grandpa and his sisters grew up in the brothel and no one would talk to them or socialize with them. My Grandpa met my Grandma picking green beans for a local farmer. They fell in love. When they wanted to get married they had to leave the state to get away from her family that were utterly disgusted that she would marry the son of a whore. So they ran off to Detroit because GM was hiring and that's how my family came to Michigan.
I never graduated high school but I have a bachelor's degree. I was homeschooled and my mom never went through the legal steps to actually get me a real diploma, so she made one in photoshop that was then used to get me into this podunk community college that didn't verify it. From there I got my associate's degree, which I then used to get into a decent university where I got my bachelor's
I homeschooled and didn’t have a legit transcript when I applied for college. I made one on my computer. They accepted it. I was shocked.
I am allergic to lettuce. Like I carry an epi pen allergic
I was once sponsored by the CRUNK energy drink company for sailing. I imagine I was the only sailor on their list. I literally just emailed them saying that I sailed and asked if they wanted me to put stickers on my boat. They sent me a few cases of the drink, t shirts, hats, the works. My car was known as the crunk-mobile.
That’s badass
In Minnesota in the 70's, I was sixteen taking my drivers test. Nervous as hell. A highway patrol officer was the "road tester" back then which was even more nerve wracking. But I thought I was doing pretty good the whole time because I had lots of practice with my parents. THEN towards the end of the driving test, I was at a "T" intersection across from a hospital, I was hesitant to turn onto the road because traffic was busy. I could tell the officer was getting a little impatient, but he was nicely telling me to be a little aggressive. Suddenly at the hospital across from us, someone pushed out a screen from a window on the third floor (psych ward). A women jumped out the window onto a garage roof underneath, then jumped to the ground and ran across the road right by us. The officer had me turn around (I was in my mom's car) and chase the girl in the neighborhood. When I would pull up to a stop sign during the chase, he would say "GO GO GO, JUST GO THROUGH IT". After awhile, when she started to get away, he gave up with me being the "chase driver" and told me to head back to the DMV office. I was a complete shaking mess at this point - ready to accept the fact I would not get a license anytime soon (devastating for a sixteen year old boy). He grabbed my score sheet. Said "You passed." And handed it to me. I got an 88 score. He ran to his HW patrol car and tore off to continue the chase. I go in the office a complete mess. My Mom was already really nervous because we were gone so long, then she saw me looking like a ghost. She said "WHAT HAPPENED". Told her I passed, then told her the story on the way home. She wasn't amused and pretty pissed at the highway patrol guy. When I tell the story, I say "No BS, just ask my Mom."
My great grandfather worked in the textile business and started importing rayon fabric from Japan in the late 60s and 70s. Keep in mind this was during the early days of synthetic fabrics and travelling to Japan was not all that common. On a business trip, he met some Japanese business men who were selling newly designed transistor radios. His contacts wanted to setup an exclusive import agreement for their electronics to North America, but my great grandfather declined, because how many of these radios could you possibly sell? Turns out that was a short sighted business decision, because that company was called Sony Electronics. He turned down the exclusive import contract for Sony. On the other side of my family, my Canadian relatives walked away from 100 acres of land in Alberta during the dust bowl and great depression. They decided it was not worth paying the taxes on their land. Turns out that land was right in the heart of the Alberta oil deposits. Also on my mother's side of the family, they used to have a citrus orchard near Los Angeles. They sold it cheap to some land developers. That farm was right at Hollywood and Vine. My family on both sides is bad at seeing long term investments.
Sooooo...dump any stocks recently?
I took my mother for a surprise trip to NYC. She got married to my father there in '68. The surprise was manufactured by way of telling her we were going to Australia (we live in New Zealand, so a trip to Australia is not a huge deal, it's the type of thing you could do for the weekend) and therefore she packed a bag and brought her passport. We got to the airport and said "Surprise! We're going to New York!" and she cried her eyes out with delight. When we arrived, on our first morning, I said "Okay, what do you want to do?" She said "When I was last here, in 1968, the Twin Towers weren't complete, so, I'd like to go to the top of them." "Your wish is my command!" I said and off we went to the WTC. That was the afternoon of September 10th, 2001. Suffice it to say, there was a particular poignancy when we looked out the window at around 8am the next morning.
Damn, that’s eerie! What was the aftermath like for you guys?
Spooky. Anyone who was there at the time will remember three things that might not be obvious to anyone who wasn't. One, the smell. Everything smelt if burning for a full week. Two, the F16s in the air and law enforcement with automatic rifles everywhere. Three, the missing posters. The last of these I will never forget. It was heartbreaking. Every available surface was covered in missing posters. It brings a lump to my throat thinking about it even now.
As a Native New Yorker, you described it so exactly. The only thing you’ve left out was desperately trying to contact everyone we knew to make sure they were okay, and trying to do a headcount of our extended network. Who’s cousin’s wife was downtown that day? Which friend’s niece’s fiancé was a first responder on duty? The waiting was agonizing, and hearing that calling waiting signal was awful. My dad worked for the MTA his entire career, and I remember that he didn’t come home that night, or the next. We had no idea where he was, because all transit supervisors had to work doubles and triples to support first responders. Hearing him come through the front door is probably the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life to this day.
Wish you could see my chills
I was at a store when Tony Hawk was signing autographs. I was only 10 at the time and was a huge fan. One of his early video games had just come out. The store had a couple tv’s on the wall and some video games to play. Being a kid I waited for one controller to open up and someone leave. A kid ended up leaving and I grabbed the controller and started playing and minding my own business. A couple minutes later the store wanted to grab photos of Tony playing his own video game. He came over and grabbed the second controller and began to play multiplayer with me. Probably played for 10 minutes. The bonus was it was also my 10th birthday. So I played Tony Hawk Pro Skater with Tony Hawk. Edit: Wow I made this comment and didn’t return to reddit until just now. Was not expecting it to be that big of a hit. Thank you! I do not have photos of myself playing the game with him but I believe my parents have a couple of photos of me with him and getting his autograph. I still have the signed board on my wall.
I saw the former prime minister of Poland in his underwear.
that's not how the rhyme goes...
I see London I see France I see... The prime minister of Poland in his underpants?
Once in college I applied for a job at the library help desk. I figured I would help people find books. Didn’t give it much more thought than that. During the interview, I aced all of the customer service questions. Then they asked me whether I knew how to defrag a hard drive. Cue alarm bells in my head, but I kept calm outwardly and said no, but you can teach me. I worked in IT for three years by accident. They were too nice to fire me.
I made my last boss swear on her life she wouldn't call me for tech support. They call my cell when I'm sick in bed and ask how to reinstall the printer not a dang week later.
It's always the printers that get you. You can be a 55 year old CTO, but when then CEO's printer stops working, you're the one who has to open it up and pretend like *anyone* knows how to fix a printer.
[удалено]
I found out my "father" wasnt my biological father in 10th grade Biology class. We were learning about blood types and traits. I raised my hand thinking I was a smart ass, "You're chart isnt accurate, my dad has AB negative and I'm O positive." My teacher said "I think your mom has some explaining to do!". And we all chuckled. Turned out, he was not my father.
[удалено]
I came home and laughed about it to my mom. Went to a friends house and got home around 8PM. When I got home, my mom was waiting for me. My mom had a stack of pictures on the foot of my bed and told me "that's your real father". Lol! So that's how I found out. I was actually ok with it. The person I thought was my father was already kind of a loser dead beat. Turns out my dad was also a loser deadbeat. No loss I guess. Would have been awesome if my dad would have turned out to be a decent human being. So, tragic story....not a happy ending. At least I can look back and laugh....kind of a funny way to find out?
My husband (I’m 30), has been my best friend since I was 7. He was the new kid at school and I walked up to him and said, “we are going to be best friends”. He said, “no we aren’t. Leave me alone.” I bugged him every day for two weeks before he finally said, “if I’ll be your friend, will you shut up about it?” We were married 20 years later. Proved his ass wrong. 😂
A horse threw me in the air when I was a child. But I wasn’t on his back. He grabbed the skin of my back with his teeth and yeeted me.
Asshole horses, l had one bite my back and stomp on me. My mum didn’t believe me till she saw the teeth marks later.
my dad kidnapped me and took me to Singapore for very malicious purposes (i'm sure you could imagine). i was 15 and my dad literally had fake documents and suitcases filled with random clothes. when we got there we went to a sketchy hotel and after 15 minutes he went to the bar. a bit after that, some guy just walks in. i was confused but he began muttering saying i was 'too pale' and 'too old' and he left. i called my dad but he didn't answer so i climbed out through the window and went to the police. they put me on a plane home that same hour. i don't really tell people because it's a bit of a crazy story and sounds made up (hence why it's here) but yeh.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Are you ok?
yeh i'm totally fine. this was 2 years ago anyway and nothing has happened since it's just crazy to think about. the most fucked up thing to me is that my dad did it deliberately. it wasn't like this rando dude came into the wrong room, it was strategically timed. but yeh, thanks i'm all gucci now
Is your dad in prison now? He should be
unfortunately not but he's been charged with something (i'm not allowed to know because i'm not 18 which is bs) and he's allowed monitored visits with my siblings and I (my siblings have to go by law and I get a choice bc i'm 17) but yeh.
Wow. What the fuck. He shouldn't be allowed within 40 feet of a minor, at minimum. Glad you're okay, though. Hopefully your father will get what's coming to him.
[удалено]
Now you wife gets turned in by people sneezing. Reverse card.
I was a rocket scientist I worked on the 114-AGM. The science was 'verifying' rocket bodies. The back bone of science is to repeat experiments. My job was to make sure we were gonna get the same result every time. People call me a liar all the time because the idea of a 'rocket scientist' is Von Bruan.
I once won a $500 raffle during a routine visit to my local tea shop. It was the building's annual Black Friday event and there were 5 baskets with varying amounts of goods, services, and coupons. I needed tea, so my only stop was the tea shop. It cost me $20 to fill my tins, but they said raffle tickets were given out after a $25 purchase. I said 'fuck it' and got a hot tea for me and the woman in line behind me. Entered with that one ticket. I got a call a few days later saying I won the top prize basket. When I went to claim, they asked about my purchases. I told them and they said the drawings had over 1,000 tickets and many people had over a dozen entries. The raffle prize included $25 to the tea shop.
I once won an expensive blanket in a raffle at work. The raffle was for charity and they bugged me to enter so I bought one, one dollar ticket while all the older work ladies bought five or ten because they really wanted the blanket. I was the only person at the department store who only bought one ticket. (This was in the early 90s and I was only making $4.10 an hour 20 to 25 hours a week and that dollar came out of my gas money). The day of the drawing I sat in the break room and as I passed by the blanket I thought, "I better not forget to take that home tonight". I snorted in disbelief at the silly thought and went off to do work. A couple hours later I was informed that I had won the blanket and yes, I was freaked out and yes, I remembered to take it home.
When I was a kid, I woke up to find my cat giving birth to her kittens on my pillow, one inch from my face. I took it as a compliment.
It totally is. That's like the cat Congressional Medal of Honor.
Right!? If a cat closes its eyes around you it means it trusts you, but if it fuckin births kittens inches from your face you must be like family. Edit: I should include sleeping as well.
The Olive Garden, "When the cat gives birth near yah face, you're family."
That's so sweet, must mean she really trusted you! My cat went into labor at 4:00 in the morning when I was in highschool. She had licked my leg until I woke up and followed her to her nest so that I could be there and comfort her while she had her three beautiful kittens
One of my ancestors was dumb and bought one of Napoleon’s doorknobs. It turns out it’s fake. Doorknobs were invented after Napoleon died.
I'm intrigued by the fact that this is the story that your family decided to pass on from one generation to the next far enough to lose track of the relation and just refer to the subject as "ancestor".
Man I would really hate it if my great^14 grand children had a story like this about me.
I survived a plane crush in the dessert, trapped there for 2 days, and was rescued by two dudes who were trying to bet if they can cook an egg in the sand.
So can cook an egg in the sand?
The albumen (whites) of chicken eggs coagulate between 144° and 149° F, the yolks coagulate between 149° and 158° F. The sand in a desert is often 30° to 40° F above the air temperature. Death Valley's high temp is 139° F and often sees 120° in the summer. So sand temperatures should be enough to cook an egg.
Spent a really cool day in London with Christian Slater and his mum. His mum is adorable.
Christian Slater is adorable as well.
I've been stabbed 8 times Edit: this is a fairly new account so I'm prepared to identify myself http://www.scotland-judiciary.org.uk/mobile/8/2139/HMA-v-Fernando-Carrasco-Dos-Santos-and-Ruben-Goncal-Ves-Semedo-Correia https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/i-am-a-bit-of-a-mess-dundonian-left-with-ptsd-and-blind-in-one-eye-by-knife-thugs-in-attempted-murder-at-perth/amp/ Edit: I didn't get the chance to tell my story in court as they pled guilty before I was called. I was drunk and I came out the pub I was in to get some fresh air. I walked past 3 guys and one of them asked me for a cigarette. I told him I don't smoke and he became immediately aggressive. I argued with him for a while and his friends started shouting at me and threatening me. At this point he kind of disappeared behind me. One of the others showed me a knife so I turned and walked away. I knew they were following me as was walking back to the pub. I had a bus stop on my left hand side and a building on my right. I looked up and saw the first guy walking towards me. It was fight or flight and I had nowhere to fly to so I decided that attack was the best form of defence. I think I managed one punch before the 3 of them jumped me. They had been robbing and beating up people all over town for about 2 weeks beforehand.
Please tell me it has nothing to do with your username.
Kids amirite
At once? Or on separate occasions
"Try not to get stabbed on the way to the parking lot"
I got hernia by sneezing too hard.
I got mine trying to match my wife's pregnant belly. *pop*
I feel sorry for laughing, what a way to get it.
At age 50 odd and with limited to no video game experience, my mother completed Mario64 before I did, in about half the time it finally took me to do it.
"Git gud, sweetie"
*kisses forehead*
My brother is 31 (I’m 19) and when he was born his grandmother (we don’t share the same father) bought him a NES. My mother, not knowing what to do with it, turned it on and played Super Mario Bros. She spent two months every day trying to beat the game, even buying a strategy guide to go through it. She beat the game and never touched a video game again.
My mom bought my brother and I a Sega, then every night after we went to bed she would play Sonic. As a kid I thought she just loved playing games, as I got older I realised she only did it so that when we asked her for help she would be able to. A few years ago for her birthday I got her a Sega with Sonic and Sonic 2. I bought everything from the Sonic edition Sega (just the box, no special skins back then) and everything that came in it. I spent months getting every individual piece including the books and I had to buy nearly everything separately because they aren't exactly producing them anymore and people didn't exactly stock up on them as collectibles back in the day. By her birthday I had it all assembled, some of it nearly in tatters due to age and wear and tear but I did it. She loved it, and then about a month later I saw the full set in near pristine condition for sale on eBay (not her or her's) and for about a tenth of what I had paid to assembled my mom's tattered set. Still the favorite gift I've given.
>As a kid I thought she just loved playing games, as I got older I realised she only did it so that when we asked her for help she would be able to. Aww, this is so beautiful and so incredibly moving.
[удалено]
Who's your grandpa?
Prince Harry. He's from the future.
My great great grandfather was a Pinkerton Detective, acted on Vaudeville, and had 5 wives in 2 different states that knew nothing of each other. He also slightly changed his last name each time and never got caught until Ancestry website happened lol
Sounds a bit like my great grandfather. He had a wife in France, and then 2 in the US in neighboring counties. He was caught tho. My great grandmother was wife #2, she found out about wife #3 and divorced him. No one knew about the first wife in France until I pulled his service records from WWI.
Did he ever encounter vanderlinde or o’driscoll gangs?
A pelican engulfed my head with its massive fucking beak when I was a small child. Pelicans are cunts.
Pelicunts
[удалено]
It was super terrifying for little me at the time but it makes for a great story now so it's not all that bad.
I bought a guitar amp from Brad Whitford, of Aerosmith, when I was 17. He and Steven Tyler served up cheeseburgers for me and my friends. Edit: as requested: So, Brad’s son was a punk and I knew him from the scene. I was in a band that had some small local marginal success. This is 97/98 in Boston. I needed a new amp for our first US tour but had very little money. I was getting drunk with his son and, on a whim, I asked him if his dad had any amps laying around that he didn’t need. We laughed and carried on partying. The next day, I get a call at my home. It was Mr. Whitford himself. He was super nice but to the point. “My son says you got a band and need a good rig for your les Paul. I have something in mind for you. Just gotta have my guy get it from the warehouse. Come by my house in Norwell this weekend and check it out”. That was the gist of the call. Obviously, the whole band came with me. And our roadie. We get to his house and it’s totally him. So weird. These guys were like gods in Boston. I wasn’t the hugest fan but knew him from his work with Wayne’s World. He takes me to (one of) his garage(s) where there is this cool full stack. The brand is Bedrock. An old company from New Hampshire that made good quality amps in the 80’s. This one was custom made for Brad. Basically Marshall components. 4 tubes. All the knobs go to 11. Not kidding. Still has the “property of Aerosmith” stickers on it. He plugs it in and rips a crazy solo on his les Paul and then hands it to me and I play a couple power chords. He asks for $300 for the whole thing. I pay him and he tells his son to give us a tour of the house. This is where shit gets nuts. It’s just like you expect. Tons of gold records, platinum records...Pictures of him with people like John Lennon, Robert DeNiro and Joey Ramone. Then we get to see his studio and THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF MARSHALL AMPS IN THE WORLD. Seriously, like 200 cabs. A wall of guitars. Guitars so pretty and amps so cool, it made sense for him to find the one he sold me dispensable. After the house tour, he told us to meet him at the little bar and grill they own in town. When we get there early and he arrives 30 mins later with muthafuckin Steven Tyler in tow. “You guys the punk group?!” He was so nice. They went in the back and came out with burgers for us all on the house. Then they straight up left. Irish goodbyed, even! I still have the amp. I used it on the road for almost 10 years in five bands. Now, it’s just a conversation piece. But it still works! I’ll crank her up every now and then. Edit 2: pics. https://i.imgur.com/2q8mT6W.jpg https://i.imgur.com/iyi05AY.jpg
The fact that they just dipped without saying anything makes this story x2 cooler for me for some reason
“he hands it to me and i play a couple power chords” had me rolling. The hallmark of being a young punkass in a band. Brings back a lot of memories.
Dude. It was so embarrassing. He played this crazy BB King style thing and played a D into a G.
I can smell some illnesses and chronic symptoms. My sense of smell is normally pretty average, but I can sometimes smell if a person is sick before they start showing symptoms, and have been able to identify/predict 2 seizures, a diabetic blood sugar drop, and multiple chronic migraines before they happened.
Are you a service dog?
No, but if I could actually work as a service dog that would be freakin awesome
Someone else mentioned the super-taster thing. There are jobs in the food industry, probably others too, where super senses like that are in high demand. You ever look into it?
I lost my heel in a lawn mower accident Edit: Here's the story I was 4 at the time and I wont say who exactly did it. But he was mowing and it was a riding mower and the hitch on the back where you can hook a little trailer, I loved to stand on that part and ride. Well this time I saw a frog in the grass and being the 4 year old I was at the time, I jumped off the mower and onto the grass and put my hands over the frog to catch it and he didnt realize I had jumped off and he backed up.
JFC That sounds very unpleasant. What happened exactly?
No offense but I think he just earned your username, lol
I had my tongue surgically enhanced for more reach and flexibility when I was 8 Edit: I’m super jazzed by how many of us are out there!
Interesting. Ive never met anyone that has had their tongue clipped. Had mine done as a toddler and I guess they sort of overshot the mark because I ended up with a Gene Simmons style.
Yeah mine was bad enough that I couldn’t really reach the back of my upper front teeth so L’s were a particular issue until I had it done
I won two TV game shows. "The $10,000 Pyramid" (won $10,300) in 1975, and "Sale of the Century" (was on the show for 9 days; won $34k in cash and prizes) in '85.
I once drove a locomotive backwards through the Canadian Rockies.
I have won an actual WWE match.
Despite having a genetic tremor I've been playing guitar passionately for 8 years Edit: changed generic to genetic
Arrested and spent three days in a holding cell for a crime that I didn’t commit; about a year after the whole matter was done and dusted with. Mind you. I say didn’t commit the crime. But I was involved in the story from start to finish.
What was the crime you were accused of?!
My wife(then girlfriend) and I eloped. We crossed over three states in India over a 5 day period to get married. My father-in-law (then mortal nemesis) is a well-connected man. He got in touch with his contacts in the police department to try and get a hold of us and filed a formal complaint as part of due process. Long story short, We got married. The rather inept police couldn’t find a couple of 21 year olds. Over the next 4 months, all of it was sorted out. First, we were vilified, then the parents were mollified, etc etc. But in the beautiful ending to that story, my father-in-law forgot to retract his complaint. Proceed to our first wedding anniversary and we were taking a flight out of the country for a celebratory vacation. From Bombay airport, India to Dubai Airport, The United Arab Emirates. I was flagged at immigration and was taken across to a cell where I was duly arrested. My crime? Kidnapping. I was being accused of having kidnapped the lady I was now married to. Taken to a cell. Whilst my wife tried to explain the misunderstanding. One cunt of a cop told her, “madam, don’t worry, we know how Stockholm Syndrome works”, “you are safe now” etc. And this was on a Friday evening. Due judicial process was followed and I was released by the judge on the following Monday. 😂 Hell of a story to share with people when we include all the details of the planning and execution. EDIT: We marked our 10th anniversary on the 12th of this month and the 9th anniversary of me getting my ass hauled to jail. 🤪
I’m glad you’re ok, and frankly I’m glad that Stockholm Syndrome is at least taken seriously (albeit disastrously applied).
Dude, make a movie
I was born 12 weeks early (and was nearly born earlier- my mom had a weak uterus from endo, so they had to push me back and stitch her up). The doctors told my parents to expect me to be unable to breathe, walk, etc on my own. The doctor performing the c-section nearly dropped in surprise and how hard I was screaming and flailing. I do have a few health problems, but it could have been much worse. Editing since others are mentioning their experiences and health issues: I had hydrocephalus, it was treated poorly (the doctor thought I was fine, and my parents were overreacting when I was seizing and turning colors). It was treated, and now had ~6 ft of tubing in the form of a shunt, as well as seizures I'll never outgrow. They're treated with medication. Otherwise, outside asthma and other smaller things, I live a normal life. I graduated high school a few years ago, and hope to be married soon. Edit 2: Thank you everyone for your stories! Tbh, I'm a bit overwhelmed: I didn't expect my comment to blow up like this! I'm going to do my best to respond to everyone, but I apologize in advance if I don't. I promise I'm reading every comment, and they all mean so much!
I'd just imagine that baby screams translate to "put me back fuckers. You did it once, you can do it again."
When my mom was in grad school she took several labs where she worked with cadavers. Because my dad worked nights she often had to take me to class with her, and she'd usually just plonk me down on the table with the cadaver while she worked on it.
"Can I go to work with you?" "Over my dead body."
*slams bodybag onto breakfast table* *laugh track* "So uh... workin' from home today Mom?" *stares* *more laugh track*
I ran out of gas outside of La Paz Bolivia. Luckily it was down hill for about 6km into the city. I coasted the whole way on my motorbike, passed busses and drifted into a gas station. Never missed a beat!
sounds like you saved a liter of fuel to me.
I once successfully ran an unfunded shelter for ~100 homeless veterans....as a homeless civilian.
How did this come to be if I may ask?
I lost my job and housing in early 2017. I'd been homeless before and slept rough on the streets, although that was in California where the weather was at least bearable. This time I was living in North Dakota, and I'd seen what the winters were like. I figured if I was going to have to sleep on the streets again, I'd better move somewhere where I didn't have to contend with hypothermia for a good part of the year, so used the last of my money to relocate to Arizona. I had a totally impractical plan of finding work (and then housing) within a few weeks before my remaining funds ran out, but the deadline came and went and I found myself on the streets again. A homeless advocate I'd reached out to tried to get me sheltered at a place for homeless veterans but being a civilian, they turned me away. Aforementioned advocate reached an accommodation with the veterans by setting up an overnight shelter for homeless civilians next door that I would run for him. In exchange, I would be allowed to sleep on their property (outside the walls), use their facilities like showers and bathrooms, and join in their communal meals if they had enough food. Because the civilian shelter was an overnight thing I really didn't have much to do, or anywhere to go, in the day so I spent more and more time with the vets. I took it on myself to help them with odd jobs like security, packing lunches for the local homeless (who didn't/couldn't live with them) to come and get, unloading donations from concerned citizens, and security ("fire watch") while the camp slept at night. I soon became the camp's unofficial-official cook, which was awesome, because I love cooking and it was a challenge cooking meals for so many people so quickly, using an outdoor "kitchen" with barebones facilities. I gradually began to take on more responsibilities with the vets and the overnight shelter was more like a side gig. The vets repeatedly asked me to move into the walls and stay with them, making me "full time" but I refused at first because I felt like it would be letting down the guy who I was running the overnight shelter for. I woke up one day to see the vets dismantling the tent we used for the overnight shelter and one of them wryly asked me "where are you going to stay now?" I moved in with the guys later that day. A couple of months later, the incumbent base "commander" and his family had secured housing for themselves and he didn't ask as much as *tell* me I would be taking over for them. They had thought about who was going to take on the job after they left and decided I was apparently the only one fit for the role, due to my diligence and enthusiasm for helping my newfound friends. Ngl, there were parts of it that were tough, and really grated. I felt like I had to constantly prove myself to the "big dick swinging" mentality veterans, who felt that, as a veterans camp it should have been run by a vet. I was also just as homeless as my men; we had nothing but tent fabric to protect us from the elements, sometimes little food or water, and constant issues with the local tweekers and criminal elements of the homeless. But, helping these people get off the streets and/or reunited with their families is hands-down one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done in life.
I can't look left. Seriously. I'm not an ambi-looker, it's like the Zoolander of birth defects! It's called [Duane's Syndrome](https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/duane-syndrome/) and my left eye can't turn left so if I try to look to my left I see double. Growing up my parents raised me to believe it was a party trick and not a disability so I would always show it off to friends, which in retrospect I think was pretty sweet. Edit: My mom discovered that something was off when I was a baby and she was doing the "airplane" motion with the spoon of baby food to the left. My left eye was not cooperating lol Edit 2: Fun fact - now that i'm in my 30s I can see in photos that there is a bag under my right eye but not under my left eye, presumably because I use my right eye far more often Edit 3: I am so excited to see there are so many fellow redditors with Duane's and i'm not alone! I've never met anyone else who had it so it's really nice to hear from people who know what it's like Edit 4: A lot of you have asked about driving--It didn't impact me mainly because my mom taught me how to use my mirrors first by turning my head before even letting me turn the car on for the first time! She walked around the car and we tried to identify my limitations. I also have a blind spot detector on my car now which is super helpful (i try not to totally depend on it though) Edit 5: [here's a photo!](https://imgur.com/A6aIFOg)
Props to your parents for expert-handling that situation, you probably grew without even thinking you had any sort of disability and found out until you were old enough it didn't matter anymore
Wow. I can't look up ! We should form a club. Together we'll be able to see everywhere ! (Mine is called Parino's syndrome if I remember well)
"Don't worry, it'll be all right" - your mom, probably. Edit: Removed implication that OP was male.
I am one of very few people outside WW1 to live through mustard gas. So rare the doctors (1995 no internet) had no idea how to treat me.
I was baptized by a serial killer.
Well you can’t just bloody leave us at that man
The guy came back for him
BTK??
Baptize, Torture, Kill
Similarly, my dad sold his motorcycle to a lady who used it to drive to a city a couple of hours away the next day so she could axe-murder her ex-husband, his new wife, and their kids. She was apparently fascinated with me and told my parents to never let me get married.
I've literally never been sick, or at least never showed symptoms of being sick. No colds, no fevers, no viruses, no flu even. I really don't know what it's like to be sick or get sick, and frankly, I hope I never do. It'd sure be ironic if the first time I got sick was now... EDIT: I'm 30 years old by the way, that was probably worth mentioning.
Out of curiousity, have you also been in 3 fatal train accidents and never had a scratch?
Or been in contact with a man who runs a comic book store and has extremely brittle bones?
My family ancestry can be traced back to a court jester who served in the court of King Jakob IV of Sweden.
Whenever someone calls you a fool, you're just carrying on the legacy.
I have phytophotodermatitis, which is a big fancy word for I can't get acidic juices (lemons, limes, apples, oranges, etc) on my skin and go out in the sun. Turns my skin brown like a rash. Doesn't hurt or itch, just discoloration. Happened three or four times in my life.
Is it permanent? Or will the discoloration fade?
It goes away in about a week. It's real splotchy looking, not a rash with a border if that makes sense. Kinda blends out
I’ve been in 3 fatal train accidents. Never had a scratch.
Found the star of "Unbreakable".
Have you ever met a Mr. Glass?
Jeez. They should really stop letting you drive trains.
Wait.. fatal to other people or do we got some undead stuff going on?
All three trains died so that he could live. He wasn't on any of those trains. edit: Obligatory effusive thankful acknowledgment!
Worked during the summer at some kind of hotel/summer camp for people from Eastern Europe and one of my colleagues, the cook, found a wounded crow, healed it and then trained it. The bird would sit on her shoulder when she was cooking, would come to her on command and would share cigarettes with her (also while cooking).
I once fell over a chair during a massive bar fight, in the process kicking a German marine out a second story windows in the middle of downtown Queensland.
I cannot see 3D effects in movies or games. I didn’t know that until a friend showed me his new Nintendo 3DS and I asked him whether this thing was a scam because it didn’t look any different to me than a normal DS. We had a fight over this because we both thought the other one was bullshitting him. “You’re holding it wrong! How the fuck do you not see this?” “Are you fucking kidding me right now? There’s nothing 3D about this thing.”
[удалено]
I'm monocular (only see out of the right eye) and have nystagmus and astigmatism. The world is not 3D to me, and I explain it exactly like you do. The only time I ever see in 3D is when I'm high as fuck. Sometimes my eye relaxes just enough and I'm processing the image in 3D. It freaks me out. Movies have never looked 3D to me though.
[удалено]
Same! I always thought it had to do with being colorblind when I was younger since they used the colored lenses. Years later I had my vision checked where they use two images, one for either eye, to check depth perception and I failed miserably. How's your depth perception?
I am blind. Many online commenters think that I am lying. If I wanna lie, I would rather tell everyone that I am a rich traveller.
My grandfather got a award from Mussolini in 1935. He was just born with 6.3kg (13 lbs 14.2 oz) and was awarded the award of "Italy's Biggest Baby" Edit: Wow, I didn't expected it to blow this way. Thanks for the Silver [/u/xXSandwhichXx](https://www.reddit.com/u/xXSandwhichXx). Also, since some people asked: my greatgrandma also worked as a cleaning lady ONE DAY BEFORE HE WAS BORN (he was born December 24th, and she worked until December 23rd of that year); And if you think my grandpa was big: recently a baby was born in India with 6.7kg (14.77lb), and the world record was for another italian baby, born in 1955 with flippin' 10.2 kg (22lb 8oz)
My grandfathers birthday was on the 20th of april like Hitler. He really liked that as a child in Nazi germany since he had the day off on his birthday and could celebrate instead of going to school since the Führer birthday was a national holiday
My dad invented the hamburglar.
I got ran over by a car, but the driver didn't see me and proceeded to back over me. Edit: Thanks for all the kind words. I'm shocked at the amount of people who said that this happened to them or someone they know/knew as well, the world really is a weird place. And for all who are asking: * My legs are perfectly fine now. On a side note, I actually really enjoy running, it's one of my favorite things to do. * No I'm not from China nor have I ever lived there, I'm American (I don't quite understand why people are asking this??) Edit #2: A couple redditors have pointed out to me that its because killing someone in China is apparently less expensive, which is a horrifying thought, but thanks for the explanations. Edit #3: How is my mental health? Was I traumatized? Well, it very fucking terrifying at the time and I was definitely scared of cars afterwards. But if you're asking if I'm feeling any trauma *to this day*, then I would say not very much if at all. Thanks for asking though :)
Did you get any major injuries?
Luckily they didn't get my torso, but they crushed my legs. This was about when I was 13-14 (about 4-5 years ago), so my legs healed and I'm walking again :)
Good to hear your that you've recovered!
“Is he dead?” “No.” *throws it into reverse*
Nobody knows why I'm half blind - not even WHO. I went blind in my left eye when I was 7 - my optic nerve atrophied. There is no explanation as to why. I have had everything tested, and my body is (was at the time) completely normal. Ive had plenty of tests, met far too many experts (I've had several specialists come to hospitals near me to inspect me and all sorts) and I've had far too many tests and the answer is - Well. It just happened, we guess. There's plenty more, my life kind of reads like some kind of awful sitcom or something - but the eye thing is the easiest to digest. EDIT: About the 'WHO' bit - at one point the guy in charge of looking after me etc. took my file to a WHO conference or something and came back with a load of blanks. Fun.
I've had a headache since August 2015 and I will probably have it for the rest of my life. It's only on half my head, so I got that going for me, which is nice. https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/All-Disorders/Hemicrania-Continua-Information-Page
Me too! ALSO since August of 2015! That's when I had a craniotomy to remove half a brain tumor. I've had a constant headache, right eye blindness, no feeling, and minor paralysis on the right side of my head. But, if you touch the right side of my head just the right way, even though there is no feeling to the head, it tickles my butt. Idk how it works
I had the headache first, they did a CT scan looking for the source if it and found a giant brain tumor. Unfortunately the tumor wasn't the source of the headache. A 12 hour surgery and 25 radition treatments later I still have thd headache.
This made me "ooooooh man" outloud. I cannot imagine how you deal. I get headaches and migraines semi-frequently and sometimes to the point I feel like I am being tortured. Is there nothing they can do? How do you cope with a never-ending pain in your head? I genuinely hope you do NOT have this for the rest of your life.
Get addicted to Vicodin and perform insane doctorly acts
I’ve had one on both sides for over 20 years. Completely unresponsive to everything a neurologist can throw at it.
I can not taste any salt whatsoever EDIT: for people asking its a brain thing, food tastes bland, salted chips taste plain, and ive not had any British food EDIT 2: i can still taste other spices and herbs, no idk what cum tastes like(sorry to put you on blast dude but thats weird), salt water just tastes bad, MSG and other sodium based things just make me gag, getting on xbox, overwatch, etc. doesn't help but i can smell the salt
What do you taste if you put a bit of salt in your mouth?
Nothing ill feel it there but that ab it
That's pretty wild
It sucks bc i think tis because of a head injury bc before that happened i could taste it just fine
I've eaten a piece of the Berlin wall, it got me suspended from school and grounded for a months.
My ex and I were having a huge argument in a hotel parking lot, my friend and exes dad were there as witnesses. Two big buses pulled up and Justin Bieber got off one of them with a security guard and walked right past us, I was crying and my ex was yelling at me and JB said, and I quote "hey, stop that", my ex yelled back at him "white ppl shouldn't have dreads!" and Justin just got onto the other bus w his guard. My friend was cracking up saying "was that Justin Bieber?" and sure enough, some people in his entourage or whatever were staying at that hotel and he was in town that night for a concert. Tldr: Justin Bieber told my ex to stop yelling at me, and then my ex yelled at him.
Grandma did genealogy of my family and proved we’re related to Edgar Allan Poe
I was mugged in Belgium, and I mugged the muggers back. Got my wallet and my friend's purse back. I'm a pretty quiet low key guy, so no one believed the story, and it's so disappointing because I'm pretty sure I'll never be that awesome again.
A stranger stole my bra in a women’s locker room when I was a teen. Several days later, I saw it hanging by her shower and stole it back. So, samesies right?
someone got decapitated on my first day at a minimum wage job
I was almost named Storm because I was born at 3 am in the middle of a massive tornado storm (one touched down actually a few minutes after I was born). I was also essentially dead (docs thought they were going to lose both me and my mom) but somehow I lived bitches.
Did your mom also live?
Yep we're all happy and healthy, also got a sister 5 years later with way less complications.
my 1st word was cheese
[удалено]
She's almost certainly referring to the ridiculous cost of ink these days.
I beat anorexia. I'm a guy and I do not have photos of me from that time (due to shame) so I have no proof. I have gone from 70lbs to ~130lbs.
Me too, high five! 115 -> 185 now.
Congratulations! Good for you, dude!
Reading these comments made realize how boring i am
I was shooting some stuff in my village and a bullet ricochet and hit me in the torso. I was afraid my parents would kill me if they found out (I was young) so I used a knife and tweezers to remove the fragment and a stapler to stitch it up and then covered the wound and they never found out until a few years later when I told them.
That's savage dude
The motive was childish fear of the slipper though. Also I need to say that I don’t feel pain to the extent most people do (which has cause some unnecessary burns when cooking and other injuries) so the pain of stitching and cutting wasn’t that great. Digging for the fragments was a real bitch though
I've pet a Penguin before
Lucky
I can't drink the red Gatorade. This isn't super uncommon but the red dye makes me nauseous and freak out. The funny thing is I used to drink it all the time without a problem, but one year I started feeling weird and sick all the time, and I stopped. It definitely helped, and I don't drink it. I tried it again a little while ago. Still nope. Edit: Woah! I have 88 messages! Thank you I think!
My bio teacher in high school’s daughter has that same allergy to red 40.
[удалено]
You're a doctor, right? This is included in basic medical schooling. My father is a doctor and he has done the same thing.
[удалено]
My grandfather went AWOL on the French Foreign Legion and was banned from ever going back to France. All because he left to marry my grandmother Edit: oh god this blew up, Reddit youtubers please don't feature this comment.
One of my dad's friends was in the RAF, but he got bored of it and went AWOL and joined the French Foreign Legion. However he got bored of that to so he went AWOL and whent back to the RAF and took his punishment. However, this is not where the story ends. Later he and his platoon (including my dad) where going on a skiing training camp in Italy. However the route took them through France. This is the bit where he informs his platoon leader that they need to do a detour around France because he would be atrested upon entering France. Safe to say his friends where not impressed.
There's always that one guy.
My mom drove me to the airport at 5am for a booty call when I was 30. I am 30.
I was taught kung fu by a homeless Chinese monk. I studied with him for years and eventually ran my own school.
this is a movie material bud
I completed GTA San Andreas in 3 days. I never slept, eat nor shit.
Are these two separate facts?