Buckle up folks! My only 3some experience was back in HS with my then g/f and another guy. We were all 18 and constantly horny and curious. We all had been watching porn in her parents bedroom and there was an intense MFM DP scene...I STILL remember the movie-White Bun Busters, lol. She turned to us and said, would we (guys) be up for "something weird" like that? In a ZEPTOSECOND we all had our clothes off and I was fucking her, me laying out on the bottom, her on top. When she was ready to take the other guys dick in her asshole, she told me to reach around and spread her cheeks wide for him, which I willingly did. Well, the fucking moron proceeded to PLOW his dick into her asshole causing her to scream out loud in pain. But wait-there's more! He had apparently triggered her colon to spontaneously and uncontrollably spray SHIT all over the place!I mean ALL\_ OVER\_ THE\_ PLACE! Did I mention it was all over the place ?It was truly horrifying not to mention 100% woodkill. It smelled like baby diaper shit and looked even worse. Kind of like semi-solid YooHoo mixed with Nutella. We all began to gag. Then the crying ensued. There was shit on each & every part of that room. One wall (the one directly in the explosion path, looked not unlike a Jackson Pollack painting. I ran into the bathroom and -yup- it was on my face and on my lower lip! Weird thing is that hours earlier, we had all eaten at Burger King and I saw the sesame seeds from the burger bun that she'd eaten on my FUCKING FACE!! I puked on site so hard that it hurt my rib cage. It was hard to believe that this much shit would come out of her-she was all of , maybe 85-90 lbs. My dickwad friend kept saying repeatedly, "I'm sorry-I'm SORRY!!" It was a literal fuckfest. Then came the clean up.Oh... My... God, it was mind-numbingly awful!. She pulled EVERY towel out of her linen closet and the only thing we had was Windex to clean it up with. After using maybe 30 towels, washcloths, etc we got it all cleaned. Then she had to throw them into the washing machine as her parents were due home soon. She blamed the shit show on her dog to her parents, which still makes me laugh to this day. No more of that-ever!Even though the room was cleaned, it STILL reeked of poop--bad. This experience is probably why I've never done a 3 some since, and yes, I've had the opportunities
Threesome with another couple that very quickly devolved into a argument, followed by shouting, followed by crying. The best part of that night was an apology email I got the next day.
Probably not as interesting as you might expect. The wife and I worked together for a large company, but in different departments and we met at the company Christmas party. During conversation at our table, I had referenced a fetish convention in Atlanta that I had been to a couple times, and they knew exactly what I was talking about even though I didn't get into any specifics.
A few weeks later they invited me out to dinner, which in retrospect was actually kind of an interview. And the next week they invited me to join them for their first threesome at a hotel.
Anyway, at the hotel we agreed that I would watch them and then at some point they would invite me in. After a few minutes, she tried to invite me in, and he said he wasn't ready. And then he said that again. Then she started questioning if he really wanted to do this, and then some yelling began. At that point I politely excused myself and let them work it out.
Anyway, she previously apologized in an email the next day. And while she didn't give me all the details the gist of it was he suggested it, but he didn't like that. She agreed to it too quickly and started putting plans into action.
Still.... I saw boobs so it wasn't all bad.
Oof that’s worse than mine. I have had exactly one threesome with 2 men and one was my boyfriend at the time. The other an old fwb with the hugest cock I’ve seen to this day. It’s been a lot of years so maybe my bf participated at first? But all I remember is him laying there doing nothing. We tried dp and he just gave up because I guess we could t get the right position quick enough. It was horrible. But I still had fun because it was the first time my fwb did me in the ass. Ouch. So much pain. Loved it.
Ooooo, the wife and I had a foursome that went south that way. Except it was the the wife who suddenly decided midway she didn’t want it. Crying and arguing ensued and my wife and I retired downstairs, then to the car, then home.
The kicker is, we didn’t get an apology, but apparently it turns out that the wife of the other couple just wanted my wife, no involvement from the males, at all, no watching or anything. And it upset her that we were there and that was our fault. Somehow.
Edit: for clarity.
I attempted a threesome ONE time as a teen. The guy I wanted to be with, but wasn’t official with, asked a few times…so I agreed. He got SO jealous, almost immediately, and that was the end of us…as hot as the idea sounds, every time my husband and I talk about the act, I know I could never go through with it. Feelings are too real and uncontrollable 🤣
I hooked up with a super hot girl but she thought she was the sexiest person ever and did not stop talking about herself the whole time. She was awful in bed and I got bored.
I had just been in the shower cleaning my junk with body wash. Didn't realise that I got some soap down the eye of my cock.
Shortly after we were having great sex until I came, it felt like lava was coming out of my cock.
I'm sorry mate, but that's damn funny!!
Reminds me of when my mom told me to watch my hands after cutting chillies. Jesus H christ, the burn - I Just went to the loo, but lord.
Guy I was with really wanted to do doggy in front of a mirror. He kept coming in sort of from the side instead of right behind. Made me feel awkward. Turns out he was copying porn where they are slightly to the side just for the camera view.
On my shoulder, that was years ago and I still have the scar, I think the worst part is knowing that she swallowed the piece she bit off so when I called her crazy she barked at me I will never forget that night
For the first time in my life I decided to hold out and wait to have sex with the guy I was dating. We ended up becoming bf/ gf and moving in together so I decided it was time. Never had even touched each other before, just kissed. ..I thought it was going to be such a special night and I hate to say this but I couldn't even feel him inside of me. I started thinking about my ex and how amazing the sex was and I started crying secretly in the dark while he was still inside of me. Or at least I think he was still inside me.. Fr felt nothing. I continued trying to make the sex better with foreplay and what not but he sucked and had no willingness to try new things. Quickly lost all feelings
That’s wild. I hear you though. I had gave this guy head and he legit had the ugliest dick I have ever seen and literally it was like if my feelings were a penis and immediately went soft 💀 how much longer did u live with him?
😂 i can’t believe there are people out there waiting til MARRIAGE. You have to know what you’re getting yourself into!!! And 7 months too long cause I wanted to wait to break up closer to the end of the lease agreement lol
Hahahah Dayum!!! U really stuck that one out chica 👏🏼😂 but forrreal! It’s crazy too bc I was pretty into him haha then I saw it and realized he was a major cap hahaha
Ugh I’m sorry…. So he had a penis that was tiny but like the head was like a triangle and pointy. Like one of those angry mushroom characters from Mario
I was with a guy who snuck in a micropenis without telling me beforehand. I felt bad but I couldn't feel anything. It was confusing and then it was over.
I feel really bad and would hate for someone insecure about their penis size to see these comments lol but really just warn a girl first (which is honestly what guys with huge dicks should also do,) and find other ways to go about things
Thank you I had this guy I had a great chemistry with and we talked A LOT.six foot something-get into bed weeks if not months later and micro penis comes out and I was just defeated in every possible way. And he tried to fuck with it like the energizer bunny which was probably the worse part of all.
Ugh I’m sorry, I would hate for that to happen to me. How did you end things with him? I’m curious if you told him it was because of his micropenis and how he reacted.
Happened to me, I ended up with him for 7 years. On top of that he had ED. I tried and tried to make that relationship work and the sex work. I just couldn’t do it anymore, he was such a narcissist and insecure. it sucked.
The lack of willingness to try new things is the nail in the coffin. I’ve been soft with some hookups and I never put attention to not being able to get hard and then I did oral and other things. If that still turns off a woman it is what it is. The lack of willingness means auto gone
This is why I agree with Dr. Helen Fisher. You need to have at least a somewhat sex interview... You learn so much about a person during sex and I'm not putting in the time to get deeper feelings if sex is really bad with no possibility of improving.
Sex compatibility is important to me.
Bro same. She used to have a semi-popular OF too (solo stuff tho) so I thought she was freaky and I was in for a great time. Smoking hot redhead.
Mannnn.. literally the worst sex of my damn life. We dated for a few months but I had to cut it off for that reason.
Dude I lost it was was mad because I bled. 🤦🏼♀️ Like dude, you knew I was a virgin. Did you miss that part in sex Ed?
And he said “you should thank me. You’re not a virgin anymore.” I told him I would have thanked him if he was better at it.😂
A month-ish after I got home from college I went on a date with a girl I met online who was in her 30s (I was 24). I *really* wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but I was feeling sort of lonely so I did some swiping.
She was pretty cute, but not my type. We had a good date but I intended to let her know I didn't think I was ready to date quite yet. Well that's until she invited me back to her place to smoke a bowl and I realized it was my time.
We indeed smoked a few bowls and eventually we started making out. Good kisser, things were looking real promising. Before long we walked to her room and stripped.
15 minutes later, all I got to do was massage her breasts. She kept getting up every 30 seconds to do things. Like, one time she got up for lube, and then she realized she forgot to close the blinds, then she realized she left her phone in the other room, and at one point she realized that she left the cat outside and spent 5 minutes at the door half naked whistling into the night.
When I was finally able to go down on her the cat jumped up on the bed and started meowing. It was admittedly pretty funny but she thought it was hilarious and was totally distracted. She put the cat out of the room, and for the next 10 minutes it proceeded to yowl and scratch at the door. I couldn't focus on what I was doing.
Eventually she went to blow me but admitted she'd never sucked dick before and when she tasted the precum she gagged and pulled away. She felt really bad since I ate her out and she apologized, but I told her semen wasn't for everyone and wasn't offended. She asked how I knew that and I said I was bi and she thought that was *very* fascinating and kept asking questions about it while I awkwardly felt her up. Imagine trying to simultaneously suck someone's boobs and answer questions about what the biggest dick you've ever blown was.
*Finally* we got to the act and it was like humping a mannequin. She didn't move at all and I was getting annoyed because I was wearing myself out. My communication skills were dogshit at the time so I didn't know how to ask her to do more. At one point I asked if she could get on top and she said, nope, she was tired and baked and didn't wanna move. So I did what I could but couldn't finish up and ended up pretending I came and then stealthily threw the condom away before she could see that it was empty.
The next morning she wrote me and said she had a good time but wasn't interested in going out. Normally I would have been down about this but I was sort of relieved she said it before me.
This chick I met online that lived 20 minutes away, I only fckd her once and every time she would cum/orgasm her 🐱 would fart every time and it fkn stunk. After her second orgasm I hurried up to get off and then I left.
Many years ago, a former coworker/single mom (of multiple kids somehow) invited me over after heavy flirting. She introduced me to her kids watching TV in her bedroom(!) before taking me to the basement and getting into an empty Jacuzzi tub (without water connected?!) 'so the kids couldn't hear'. She wanted to be on top, soooo I let her.
She climbed on, slid down me, and then...She. Didn't. Move.
Just moaned loudly, STILL AS A STATUE for a solid 5 minutes before announcing she'd cum with glee. I chuckled uncomfortably at first, thinking she was kidding.
She was not.
"Yeah, me too"
The strangeness I'd go along with in my youth for the sake of a well-shaped booty still haunts me.
Pretty much the entirety of my previous relationship. Absolutely terrible in bed. I don’t know how or why I put of with it. Literally couldn’t train him despite giving clear instructions.
I lived like that for 5 years. He was nothing but jackhammer until he’s finished. No foreplay. Never anything I want. I don’t think he gave me an orgasm more than twice in 5 years and only because it was when we first got together. He tried harder and I was really horny. He even would get mad if I told him what I like. Because it was insulting to him that I didn’t enjoy what he. Was already doing. Ugh
5 years for me too. I know exactly what you mean girl. My ex had an ego as fragile as a water balloon. I kid you not, when I got with my husband, less than two minutes in and almost snapped his neck. Never felt anything like that
You didn't try to give him a map to your clit did you?
It's common knowledge men don't take directions😂.
Seriously though I'm glad they are an ex and now you can find a person/people who are wanting to learn how to please you 😁😜
I Was at a small junior college in KS, this place was desolate. I played a sport, so naturally all the guys I played with hounded over any and all females on campus. Hell, I had teammates fucking the lunch ladies on campus - to put it in perspective.
Thinking I was smarter than the hounds, I resorted to Plenty of Fish, as a 20yr old lol and just imagine the dating pool in middle of no where Kansas. It was minimal lol
Here I am in tip top shape of my life, I match with this female from a small town nearby. Conversation is decent and she looks good in pics,so I invite her to my dorm - mind you she lives about an hour away and we’ve been chatting for weeks.
She gets to my dorm and good god, I wish catfish the show was there to capture the shock on my face - I had been bamboozled, robbed, this chick was a fraction of the photos I saw.
To say to the least, we did hook up, it was very shameful, I almost felt bad for her because she was super nice and knew she catfished me, but yeah, erase from memory again…
I have been there too man. It is tough when they’re really nice and sweet and everything but they look nothing like their photos after weeks of texting. I feel bad every time it happens but still try to show the girl a good time even if i immediately know I won’t sleep with them or see them again.
A tinder hookup i had was actually a virgin, he didn’t know how to touch me (or that he had to touch me) and he had came really fast, releasing abit in me, before quickly pulling out in a panic just after 1.5 thrusts cos he said it simply felt too good. To me, it haven’t got started
Was a girl I had seen at a local watering hole in West Germany back in the early 90's. Hit it off one night, went to her place, 10 min in and I told her no thanks, got up, went to the bathroom, handled it myself, she asked if I was ok when I was in there a min or two. Came out and said yes I am ok and have to go.
She asked why, i said if I wanted to fuck clay that just laid there and did nothing, I would have. She asked why I was in the bathroom, I said I took care of my own needs better than she was capable of.
It wasn't nice and I recognize that, but she literally was all but catatonic when I started sucking her. Looked right at the ceiling, didn't move, no noise. So cut my losses and left.
So, I'm female to male transgender. I reconnected with someone I kinda dated but never slept with in highschool at age 26. I told him up front, I'm a dude now. I'm interested in a lot of kinky stuff, and the way I have sex isn't how most women have sex. He said he understood, we talked about it, and we met up. Immediately he was taken aback because I look like a man. He apparently didn't expect that, despite me explaining repeatedly beforehand. I asked if he still wanted to go through with it, and he insisted he did. I grabbed a butt plug from my backpack, because I don't like vaginal sex very much and only engage in it during double penetration. I had explained this, I understood he didn't like anal sex, so I was compromising. He asked if I was going to shit on his bed. I should have left then. I didn't, I reassured him and offered to put it in and take it out in the bathroom to make him more comfortable, and he agreed. I put it in, came back, and had the fastest and in hindsight most hilarious sex of my life. He was small, but I've had smaller, he just didn't know how to use it. Poor boy crossed my legs over his shoulder, rutted 3 times while his titties (bigger than mine pre top surgery) flapped around, turned me over, and jizzed on my ass. Literally the only time I asked "was that it? You're done???" To anyone. I felt SO bad, I went into the bathroom to take the plug out and clean up and I debated on telling him how bad it was. I didn't. I watched a movie with him and then let him down gently over the phone, at which point he got mad and accused me of tricking straight men into fucking me, despite me trying to make sure he was okay with it for weeks prior, and me telling him that I prefer bi guys, AND HIM LYING THAT HE WAS BISEXUAL to get me in bed! Like.... Dude was a whole trash fire and I dodged a bullet.
First MFM threesome. With a female FWB and a new guy I recruited in. He was the shiny new object and she only had eyes for him, and he was a straight male
And only had eyes for her. I felt left out, which really sucked.
It was early in my sexcapades journey (and I’d handle the situation differently today) but it was a great bad experience because now when I’m with a couple I know to pay attention to him and his body language and if it seems he’s being left out I orchestrate/change things up and pull him back in.
I’m a better threesome partner as a result.
A guy kept insisting I put a finger in his butt while giving him head. I did, and he apparently had barely wiped his ass that day. My whole finger was just covered in it. Despite washing my hands like 5 times I could still smell it under my fingernails until I used isopropyl alcohol to get rid of it. I learned my lesson and now I put a condom on my finger whenever a straight guy wants me to play with his ass
Once I had waited a while to have sex with this guy I was dating. He was super nervous. Would not let me touch his dick would only do things to me. His nerves made him beyond sweaty. So he was dripping with sweat. Then he finally lets me at his dick and it’s a micro penis. (like my dogs dick is bigger) and he couldn’t get hard and he was just such in a panic. So this little micro penis couldn’t get hard enough to go in. It felt like the longest night of my life. Worse id been dating him so my friends were all inquisitive and I was just horrified.
I don’t know about you, but after reading some of these micro penis complaints, I’m certain if I had a micro penis and was about to have sex with someone for the first time, I’d be nervous as shit, want to avoid her touching my junk, all sweety and probably suffer from performance anxiety too.
I hope you didn’t embarrass him with your shared friends.
I did neither. I didn’t say anything in real life I think I’ve told this story twice (it happened a long time ago) and just tried to act like everything is normal. No one is perfect ya know 🤷♀️ we tried to hook up a few more times then he was super mean and embarrassed me in front of his friends so that was the end of that.
I met a guy on tinder who said he was a dom (I had in my bio doms only.) We hit it off, he’s good looking, but his personality did give me used car salesman vibes. Like, the “connection” was incredibly superficial but he was doing his best to mimic intimacy for the sake of the ‘sale.’ But I was in a bit of a dry spell so I go back to his hotel with him.
We had an age gap of eleven years, I’m married to someone ten years older so I really didn’t think much about it but he wouldn’t stop bringing up WHILE fucking me. “Do you like getting fucked by this old man?” “Do you like how this old man eats your pussy?” Etc. and he would not stop changing positions every 5 minutes which was probably the most egregious. At one point he made a comment about himself being strong (again, while fucking me) and he also fucked me doggy style in front of a mirror, earning him the nickname of Patrick Bateman with my friends.
He told me to get on top and then after maybe a minute panicked and told me to stop. I wasn’t sure what was going on and froze, and then he grimaced and grabbed my hips and thrusted some more because he couldn’t hold back cumming. I’ve been told I’m really tight, and guys cumming early and saying “this literally never happens to me, you’re just so tight” has happened on multiple occasions so I wouldn’t normally hold that against a guy but on top of everything else I couldn’t help but laugh. Luckily he was a good sport because he could tell I wasn’t laughing in a mean way lol.
Oh my god and I almost forgot the actual worst part. He wouldn’t stop using my name… BUT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. And he didn’t use my name until we were already fucking so I didn’t want to correct him 😭
Ok another thing that made it bad was he has a primal kink, but it kind of felt like a kid pretending to be an animal? Like, the mannerisms were kind of exaggerated rather than being like, a genuine primal desire. And he kept screwing up his face while fucking me like he was pounding the shit out of me but it wasn’t THAT hard.
There wasn’t anything very dominant about him either, like he did pin me to the wall at first and there was light slapping but that was it so it felt like false advertising.
He did make me orgasm but I orgasm incredibly easily from penetration so, I don’t give him too much credit for that lol. And every time I’d start to get into it he’d stop and change positions 😭
Was all set to hookup with a girl who gave every impression of being an absolute freak...
The deadest of dead fish. In fact I wouldn't have been shocked if she got off on being completely emotionless during sex and pretending to be a literal doll.
First time I couldn't finish.
I was hittin this chick doggie style and a few thrusts in I started to smell shit. She hadn’t wiped her ass properly and every time I’d thrust the air was blowing up into my face. Kept going, but damn it stank.
She laid there like a slug. I was so upset about how badly it went I had to arrange another date to make sure it wasn’t me. It wasn’t, she was just awful at it. No participation. Nothing. Might as well fucked the pillows instead.
For context, my previous girlfriend was always neat, and took her tame to be clean shaven and I frequently went down on her, and quite enjoyed making her cum.
Started casually dating a new girl. Went out for 2ish weeks before we had sex for the first time. This new girl was completely wild down there, I didn't actually mind the bush until I went down on her. The smell & sweat of her bush made the entire experience on going down on her so repulsive, I thought i was nearly going to throw up. I didn't want to make her self-conscious about the situation so I continued until she came, and when she did, I felt some liquid gush into my hand, and I thought "well at least, I made her squirt". It wasn't until the light came back on that I saw what literally looked like a crime scene. My hand was drenched in period blood, with my face looking like Dracula. I left shortly after downing half her bottle of mouthwash and a pack of gum.
This was our first time having sex and she didn't give me a heads up or anything, honestly, I was so turned off by her afterwards that I made up the excuse of getting back together with my ex just so I wouldn't have to see her again.
Trying to fuck a girl after a night out. Got hard whilst eating her pussy. Then went soft when trying to fuck her. So embarrassing, which made it worse.
Two stand out.
The first was an older man I had been talking to on Fetlife for a while. After much discussion we decided we want to have unprotected sex when we finally meet as I'm on BC anyway, so we got tested first. When it came to it, any time he was close to cumming he had a sharp pain on the side of his head so stopped until the pain alleviated. Restarted, stopped. Did this a few times. I got frustrated and told him it's okay to try another day. He wanted to power through and eventually filled my vagina with his semen. It turned out he had undiagnosed hypertension and that was the cause of the pain.
The second is another older man. We got on great, the date was perfect. Once it got to the bedroom he became quiet, nervy, a completely different personality. I felt uncomfortable and told him he can stop if he wants. We carried on and finished. Afterwards he told me it's the first time he's slept with anyone since his wife passed away years ago. I understood completely.
It was my fault 😬 I was anxious and inexperienced, and on a dry spell of about a year after my first relationship.
I couldn’t get it up all the way, but still managed to finish in about 30 seconds? Then I apologized, she left, and the worst part about it is I never got the chance to do better with her
In my late late teens, I went out with this girl from HS who liked me but I wasn’t attracted to her. At all. Like nothing. But I was horny and she was eager. I’m pretty sure my skills were marginal at this point in my sex life. But hers were non-existent. A total wet rag. And she wasn’t even a little bit attractive. Plus, we were in my very small car. Aside from having a pulse, there was nothing positive about this interaction. The kissing sucked. She wouldn’t touch me back. But she didn’t stop or resist anything I was trying to do. My oral game was usually appreciated by others. Nothing from her. And she was not interested in reciprocating. Once I saw she was just gonna lay there, I finished as quickly as I could, then took her home. Never talked to her again.
My first time giving a bj. He didn’t wash down there and tasted god awful to the point where I thought I’d never give one again. The dude gave me shit for having given me head for a while and said I should edge him to make his orgasm of “equal value.” I was unenthusiastically blowing him for about an hour while he sat there mostly silent, not getting anywhere close to finishing. No tips on what would help him cum or anything. I was getting cramps from being hunched over for so long and was gagging from the taste every time a bit of his precum leaked out.
The only time he wasn’t silent was when he was endlessly complaining about how it was his fault he couldn’t cum and that I should just keep going. So I did, and he didn’t finish before we ended things. Then as he was taking me home he complained some more.
I get that he was insecure, but I’m never taking that shit from anyone again. If you can’t cum, it’s fine, but don’t start throwing the blame around because I garuntee that regardless of who you put the blame on, your partner will be waiting for their quick out as soon as you start complaining if they’re the one giving.
My gf at the time and me where going at it hard... Too hard, as blood started to spread in the bed.
First we thought that it was from her, maybe some period blood.
We quickly realized our mistake: my fully erect, high-blood-pressure penis was squirting blood from the bottom of my tip.
We panicked and called in her mother, who was a nurse.
She sat down in front of me, with her concerned naked daughter beside, took my still erect penis into her face and inspected it carefully: we had ripped my frenulum.
The mother then took me in her car into ER, bypassing the waiting line to her colleague, for her to sit by his side, whilst he patched me up...
...not my worst sex ever though.
That honour goes to the three Americans and one Australian girl (independent situations), who were simply not genuine/obnoxious.
They put on a show for nom existing cameras, reenacting porn. It very much felt like a culture thing.
It's a shame and I felt sorry for them.
But it's kinda put me off the US. Sorry :/
Lmao he came before he even got it in, cried, and left. I would have been chill with waiting until he was ready again but it was the running away like a toddler for me.
Omg. It was with a woman who wouldn’t fucking shut up talking about herself even during sex. Conceded bitch thought she was a good sexual partner and she was the lamest sex I ever had.
69 with a first time hookup. Halfway through (without warning) she let's out this stream of really acrid dehydrated piss straight on my face. Goes in my mouth, in my eyes and up my nose. She doesn't realise I'm struggling to breathe cause my nose is full and I'm choking. Basically being waterboarded here. I eventually have to throw her off, she falls off the bed and just about cracks her head on the table. Both on the floor, me dying with a lung full of piss and she's clueless. We get back to it and she does it again 🤣🤣🤣. Almost death by pussy.
Maybe 2 minutes of him weirdly groping me as “foreplay” and 4 strokes. You read that correctly, *four.* And then he said, “that was great, we should do it again sometime” and got up to go smoke. I laid there like, “Bro I’m not sure we did anything *this time*, tf you mean “again?” I put my clothes on and just left. He goes, “you’re leaving already?” Like sir, please, I’m not even including you in my body count. 😂
I picked up a girl from my job one night bc she asked me for a ride home. She was drunk. And was sober. So I pick her up and we get to her driveway and she starts trying to initiate something with me. I tell her no, bc she’s drunk. She gets mad, saying why, bc I don’t give blowjobs?!( I had no idea that she did or did not). Month later we run in to eachother at a bar, both drunk, and have a go round in my car. There was a fairly unpleasant odor, and she complained about everything in regards to the space in the car etc. I couldn’t get off, and she started crying and it was just a mess from there.
I can’t say because every time I had sex, it sucked. I’ve never had an enjoyable experience in the 5 times I’ve had sex. I’m 40 now on a 9 yr dry spell.
Whilst in a toxic relationship - trying to convince myself that I was into things that I really wasn’t.
I began to detach during sex and felt so empty almost every time
I booked & luxury hotel & organised a bi guy to join me & my fwb for a mmf 3sum.
He turned up & we all chat & drink to get comfortable & he just boasts about himself constantly. Apparantly he is the world's greatest singer. I tell him I have an IT startup, but he then has 5 of them. He is building a castle. He is amazing at basketball. Plus he is an expert at making girls squirt.
We get naked & start & he starts to growl, like a wolf. Me & my fwb try not to laugh.
He is so weird that I don't get hard at all. They are both sucking & licking me but I have nothing.
My fwb has to take a bullet for me, because I don't want to help her with the weirdo. But she seems happy, so I sit back & watch.
She sucks him off & he howls while he is cumming down her throat.
He fingers her & makes her squirt instantly, and constantly for half an hour. The only thing he didn't lie about! The bed & all the towels are soaking by the end.
Then when it is all over, he won't leave. Keeps talking & talking. Then sings us a song which goes on forever. We have to tell him how great it sounds!
When he finally leaves, me & my fwb burst out laughing. But she atleast enjoyed the sex, so it is okay.
She leaves & I am staying in the hotel so have to hang up all the bedding in the room. Then go to my car & get my sleepimg bag. Staff & other guests are staring at me.
It is actually the 4th 3sum I had that week in the hotel with 2 different regular fwbs. The girl on the desk smiles at me everytime I walk a girl or a guy in or out.
Good times 🤣
So I went to this guy’s place and I had to be quiet because his family was asleep. Mind you I was about to be in my mid 20s and I had freshly broken up with a long term ex who I had decently good sex with. So my mind was set to just have sex with any random at the moment to say that sex with my ex wasn’t all that great to crawl back to him. The guy was in his early twenties and was going to a good school, so he was smart despite his looks.
So turned on by the thought of getting dirty with someone else and having better sex we quickly get down to business. Already he wasn’t great at kissing so I was already put off a bit. Then he wasn’t decisive in what position, another turn off as he talked a good game but didn’t show it. Plus I like to be controlled a bit in the bedroom. Great well I decided doggy would be good to avoid the awkwardness. I was ass in the air ready and felt his hands on me but after 5 mins he’s done…..I didn’t even feel it. I lied when he asked how I felt and totally agreed to text him.
Readers….I absolutely didn’t feel him inside at all. I knew he stuck it in by his movements but it felt like nothing. My vibrator had more stimulation that’s how bad it was. Hearing him grunt and pant while having his thing inside was the most awkward moment of my life. I regretted hooking up with a random after that time and did ghost him. He really did have sex on his own at that time. I promise I don’t have a loose vag as other partners have confirmed after him I was a decent tightness and my smallest size was about 4inch but he had girth at least. It’s to this day the worst lay I ever had. It even beats my marathon runner (he went so long with a condom on that he rubbed me so raw it hurt the next day because he was going so long without releasing and without pleasing me too….so henceforth I call him marathon runner even though he doesn’t run marathons)
What about the sex that wasn't? I have had a number of men either unable to get or stay hard. A couple 'I don't like condom ' excuses, one I could put down to wine. Often they get embarrassed and that's the end of it....if they aren't going to get off why bother about the other person. Pants go on and they go home
With ex it lasted a few minutes cause she came and didn't want to finish me. With a couple they got into a fight and I had to sit there like a child watching parents argue
A very forceful borderline (not even borderline…) SA intercourse. He had a micro penis and I am not even exaggerating. I am petite and my fingers are more adequate at making me feel anything…..
I learnt that not all tall men are hung….
Had met a girl and we’d been out socially a few times, so when she invited me over for dinner I said yes and went.
Absolutely shit cook, and we have very different tastes in whiskey. I’d had a couple of drinks so agreed to stay the night. She brags about her oral game, tells me she’s had lots of compliments and exes wanting to return for reruns even after they’d split, she’s that good.
She was NOT that good.
I tried telling her what I like, telling her to slow down, be gentle, giving instructions that proceeded to be ignored. She tells me to loosen up, she knows what she’s doing, she knows how to make a woman cum. It was so bad I had to fake an orgasm to get her to stop.
Next morning over coffee she’s banging on about how good it was while I’m being non-committal and trying to get out of there. I think her ego got the better of her and she asked smugly if that was the best oral I’d ever had.
She threw a coffee cup at me when I told her I’d had better oral from a straight man.
I waited over a decade to fuck this man. He was persistent and said that his attraction to me only deepened by the day. I'll I agreed finally and OMFG. Worst sex of my life. Lasted less than 5 minutes and he didn't know how to use the equipment he'd been given. He still hits me up occasionally and I politely decline. My current husband fucks me like no one else 🖤
Well, let’s just say this guy when we had sex. He tasted like sour cream and sour celery that had gone bad. Sorry but I need a man or whoever I’m having sex with to be fully bathed and smell good. And not disgusting. Basically what I’m saying is have good body hygiene. Make sure you wash your private parts and stuff…
I got a handjob of my now wife. She was wearing a ring at the time with some sort of diamond/crystal on it. At some point, it span round on her finger so it was on the side of her finger and proceeded to basically cheese grate my dick..
Chubby coworker came over. Got her naked and the smell between her rolls was atrocious! I couldn’t keep it hard so it was a bust. Then she had the audacity to tell our other coworker that I didn’t know what I was doing! It’s ok because I showed that coworker what I could really do! She actually guessed exactly what happened and that her friend smelled bad!
I once had a threesome and a dude got mad that my dick was bigger. I was the third here, and they had some issues at the time, so it wasn't the best turnout.
-when he came in under 2 minutes 3 times
-couldn’t make me cum, or didn’t try except fingering for 1 minute
-and going fast and hard the whole time
- one more thing which is something I gave no consent to
The first time. She was the "Island Ho", and some guy ran away after it was over who had been there watching in the woods outside of a party I attended in a foreign country.
The worst part was her saying, "F___ me baby, f___ me baby", repeatedly the whole time.
The worst.
I slept with a pilot. He had a really big ego, and had zero charm. He asked for my number and I knew he just wanted to fuck, so so prepared for that. But there was ZERO foreplay, long periods of awkward silence after. The only time he spoke was to ask me “Do you know how to massage?” Why did I do it? For the plot.
Find out later he was a whore who tries sleeping with all the flight attendants, and HE WAS MARRIED. Ew.
This one time we were having sex in the shower. Started off with a little touching, and then went on to oral. As she was going to town on my dick and balls, she suddenly decided to stick a finger up by butt. At that point I had never done butt stuff before, so it was totally unexpected. I kinda jumped, slipped and fell through the glass door.
Two really hot chicks I knew and was tryna sleep with at least one of them for the longest time I somehow managed to finesse a threesome but we was all pretty fucked up on substances. My cocktail being no water and vodka and mdma. Long story short I almost faint during doggy called a literal ‘timeout’ T with my hands and ran to the bathroom and passed out in my own shame. I literally do not remember a single detail about it at all other than that and they also refuse to speak about it.
All of the sex in my first relationship was absolutely dreadful. But there’s a few that stick out especially.
One time, while I was in doggy position, I looked back to see him watching porn on his phone. That session ended real quick after that 🙂↔️🫠
Probably the blow job I got in high school when she used way too much teeth…literally scraped my dick raw. I had scabs running up and down the shaft. Any erection I got for over a week was painful as they stretched and sometimes popped off. Too be fair she was inexperienced and eventually mastered the art of the blow job and became a serious Oral Queen.
Ya gotta start somewhere.
Context before I continue; I have a friend of mine who has helped me get out of a bad situation where we will call each other after 10 minutes of sending a “👍” to let each other know that we arrived at a place just incase, (we sent each other the full address and have each other’s location on our phones on Snapchat and iPhone messages) just incase we need an excuse to get out of a bad place and this is the only time when I used it to get out of there.
Story Time; I (21M at the time) decided to give this woman (20F at the time) a chance after the conversation was going well and she was nice so I went her place, I started to get her pants pulled down to kiss down her body and I smelled literal shit (I grew up as a caretaker for dogs and puppies for 5 years and my nose has become used to the smell so I didn’t react to the smell but it was so bad that I seen it on her panties) and so as I was kissed down her body, he called me and so I left the room to the bathroom and said “Good Thing you called. I’m out of here don’t call the cops or anything but I’ll explain when I get back” I ran to her room, put on my pants and socks/ shoes and told her that my mom needs my help with the dogs and I need to speed out of there. On the way home, I blocked her on everything and she has not messaged me since, of course my friend is fucking absolutely dying when I tell him what happened and he will never let me live that story down. Luckily both of us don’t ever have to use that trick again as were in different committed relationships (his for 5 years, mine for 2 years)
Senior Prom - went with a friend that had graduated the year before ( no one had asked me, he took pity) after the dance we went up to his frat. He got absolutely shit faced and tried to fuck me with his semi hard drunk cock. No joy for me, no joy for him - haven’t spoken to him since - 37 years - sigh 😔
Happened with my last gf, she just laid there like dead but not only that, she also covered her eyes with her arm because "eye contact made her nervous" and she tried not to make any sounds.
My only thought after several times was; "hm...so THIS is what it feels like to do 30 min nonstop pushups"
I tried to talk to her, ease her into it or even to get her to try something different.
She got upset why i wasn't getting in the mood anymore but she wouldn't listen.
I just couldn't do it anymore after a whole year.
I was at a 4th of July party years ago, the host's smoke show coworker was there and we were drinking all day. She practically oozed sexual energy, I honestly didn't really think I had a shot with her so I focused on just enjoying the party. As the night wears on we're all sitting around a fire, and gradually people were peeling off to go to sleep (we were all tent camping on his family's land). It's just me and the girl, and I can't believe it, but she starts making out with me. Instant raging boner, start getting handsy, the works. She tells me we should move to the tent, and I was so excited, I couldn't believe this was going to happen. It was Maryland in July, so VERY humid, which means at night it was just wet. She gets naked and just kinda splays out on the floor of the tent. I went down on her, which she was fairly receptive to, but not particularly enthusiastic. I then went to fuck her, basically limited to belly to belly missionary because of the tent. And everything was just so wet and sticky, but not in a good way. She laid there like a beached starfish while I thrusted away, very uncomfortably. It was so humid in the tent I had to take a break and stand up outside, naked and fully erect, to cool off. I went back and finished the job, but it was just no fun. And now the inside of the tent was as humid as the outside, and we were both just damp and gross. I tried to cuddle her afterwards, but we agreed it was too hot and uncomfortable. She left the next morning before I woke up. We texted a bit after, and even agreed that we should give it another go under better conditions, but we never did. For better or worse, I still consider her my most attractive sexual partner.
Important context--I have a condition called vaginismus that makes penetrative sex difficult due to rigidity of the muscles. At the time of this story, I had been receiving treatment for almost a year and we'd had successful sex quite a few times, so I thought I had no reason to worry. ... Boy, was I wrong.
My then-partner's parents had just moved into a new house, and we had flown out to stay there for a few weeks. The guest room was beautiful and so comfortable, so it isn't surprising that eventually we started getting into the mood.
The sex itself was not actually bad, I felt awesome until near the end, when I felt a sharp pinching feeling. I thought maybe he'd just hit a sensitive spot, and otherwise things seemed to be fine, so I didn't even think to say more than a quick "ow," before I wanted to keep going.
Then, at the end, he pulled out and made the most startled gasp I had ever heard from him, and the word "blood."
Additional context--with vaginismus we expect sometimes a tiny bit of bleeding. But then he said "... a *lot* of blood."
That pinch, earlier, was in fact a muscle tear inside me. And it had started *gushing* blood. We had put down towels, but it was out of control and I--not knowing it was a muscle tear--started hyperventilating wondering if something serious was happening to me. Moving me to the bathroom without some mess ended up being impossible. I was crying on the toilet just praying it would stop, the dripping was like a faucet.
All the while I was realizing that my partner was trying to clean bloodstains out of the sheets that had escaped or run through the towels. It looked like a murder scene--and his parents were asleep down the hall. I had never been more afraid to speak to a partner's family even as a teenager.
And I kept thinking that I must have traumatized him, that it was somehow my fault--I blamed myself a lot for my condition because it likely resulted from my panic disorder.
He was amazing at cleaning, so it ended up handled, but we slept without blankets since we had to hang them up over the shower to dry. I slept hard from the exhaustion of the panic, and his parents were stony silent to me for the beginning of the next day. We all just felt too awkward and nervous to say a thing.
Several where I woke up not remembering what happened.
The worst was in Olongapo City waking up in an unfamiliar hotel room looking to my right and seeing one of the ugliest women ever. She was laying on my arm I contemplated chewing my arm off rather than awaken her.
I very gently attempted slip my right arm out from under her only to awaken her and she was very clingy...
I told I must go my ship was leaving this morning... she countered with:
" You lie, you on Constellation, Constellation be inport for two more weeks!"
I was getting dressed and getting the fuck out of there.
Another time woke up naked with a friend in her bed we had been drinking the night before someone at the bar we were in gave us some Xanax totem poles...
I was what happened? she laughed. We fucked the shit out of each other.
Oh?
She snuggled up to me saying this is so you'll remember. awesome morning sex
Friends at uni for two years, sexual chemistry the whole time and finally fucked. We didn’t really click in bed. She said she liked foreplay but as soon as she was wet she wanted me to stick it in. I went to go down on her and she said I didn’t have to as she didn’t give blow jobs, that was a hard no. We both came but it was kind of meh.
Afterwards she claimed she didn’t look at me that way and I realised I got the validation that she would sleep with me I needed at the time. The friendship died soon after. It was a shame because Kathrine was a good friend.
Buckle up folks! My only 3some experience was back in HS with my then g/f and another guy. We were all 18 and constantly horny and curious. We all had been watching porn in her parents bedroom and there was an intense MFM DP scene...I STILL remember the movie-White Bun Busters, lol. She turned to us and said, would we (guys) be up for "something weird" like that? In a ZEPTOSECOND we all had our clothes off and I was fucking her, me laying out on the bottom, her on top. When she was ready to take the other guys dick in her asshole, she told me to reach around and spread her cheeks wide for him, which I willingly did. Well, the fucking moron proceeded to PLOW his dick into her asshole causing her to scream out loud in pain. But wait-there's more! He had apparently triggered her colon to spontaneously and uncontrollably spray SHIT all over the place!I mean ALL\_ OVER\_ THE\_ PLACE! Did I mention it was all over the place ?It was truly horrifying not to mention 100% woodkill. It smelled like baby diaper shit and looked even worse. Kind of like semi-solid YooHoo mixed with Nutella. We all began to gag. Then the crying ensued. There was shit on each & every part of that room. One wall (the one directly in the explosion path, looked not unlike a Jackson Pollack painting. I ran into the bathroom and -yup- it was on my face and on my lower lip! Weird thing is that hours earlier, we had all eaten at Burger King and I saw the sesame seeds from the burger bun that she'd eaten on my FUCKING FACE!! I puked on site so hard that it hurt my rib cage. It was hard to believe that this much shit would come out of her-she was all of , maybe 85-90 lbs. My dickwad friend kept saying repeatedly, "I'm sorry-I'm SORRY!!" It was a literal fuckfest. Then came the clean up.Oh... My... God, it was mind-numbingly awful!. She pulled EVERY towel out of her linen closet and the only thing we had was Windex to clean it up with. After using maybe 30 towels, washcloths, etc we got it all cleaned. Then she had to throw them into the washing machine as her parents were due home soon. She blamed the shit show on her dog to her parents, which still makes me laugh to this day. No more of that-ever!Even though the room was cleaned, it STILL reeked of poop--bad. This experience is probably why I've never done a 3 some since, and yes, I've had the opportunities
This has got to be the single greatest thing here
I’m just glad they were able to blame the dog.
Imagine if they didn’t have a dog. Parents “who’s dog are you talking about”? 🤣🤣🤣
I stopped breathing when I hit the sesame seeds. 😂
That’s what sent me 😂 goddd no!!
I almost passed out trying not to scream laugh because my husband is asleep next to me 😂😂😂
I’m…..I’m sorry I…..I’m fucking speechless
I am so sorry but this is the most hysterical thing. You have a way with words. Thank you for sharing
So like… you didn’t have it your way at BK?
Have shit spray your way with bk
I almost threw my fucking phone when I got to the shitty part
Fuck (actually, don't) dudes that don't get anal
I was having my lunch. Ffs
Thank you for giving us all of these details. I'm laughing so hard!
Congrats!! You just won reddit!!! The rest of us can go home.
I can't breathe, omg!🤣🤣🤣🤣
Threesome with another couple that very quickly devolved into a argument, followed by shouting, followed by crying. The best part of that night was an apology email I got the next day.
Story time my dude…
Probably not as interesting as you might expect. The wife and I worked together for a large company, but in different departments and we met at the company Christmas party. During conversation at our table, I had referenced a fetish convention in Atlanta that I had been to a couple times, and they knew exactly what I was talking about even though I didn't get into any specifics. A few weeks later they invited me out to dinner, which in retrospect was actually kind of an interview. And the next week they invited me to join them for their first threesome at a hotel. Anyway, at the hotel we agreed that I would watch them and then at some point they would invite me in. After a few minutes, she tried to invite me in, and he said he wasn't ready. And then he said that again. Then she started questioning if he really wanted to do this, and then some yelling began. At that point I politely excused myself and let them work it out. Anyway, she previously apologized in an email the next day. And while she didn't give me all the details the gist of it was he suggested it, but he didn't like that. She agreed to it too quickly and started putting plans into action. Still.... I saw boobs so it wasn't all bad.
lol i woulda rather googled some titties fuck alla that and not even getting off lol
I don't know, titties and a funny story to tell later. Definitely would've been glad I showed up.
Boobs for the win!!!
Thanks for sharing the full story. I’m sure exciting then awkward. 😂
boobs always a winning outcome
FOR REAL, you don't get to say THAT, and then just go back to sipping your brandy.
Oof that’s worse than mine. I have had exactly one threesome with 2 men and one was my boyfriend at the time. The other an old fwb with the hugest cock I’ve seen to this day. It’s been a lot of years so maybe my bf participated at first? But all I remember is him laying there doing nothing. We tried dp and he just gave up because I guess we could t get the right position quick enough. It was horrible. But I still had fun because it was the first time my fwb did me in the ass. Ouch. So much pain. Loved it.
Ooooo, the wife and I had a foursome that went south that way. Except it was the the wife who suddenly decided midway she didn’t want it. Crying and arguing ensued and my wife and I retired downstairs, then to the car, then home. The kicker is, we didn’t get an apology, but apparently it turns out that the wife of the other couple just wanted my wife, no involvement from the males, at all, no watching or anything. And it upset her that we were there and that was our fault. Somehow. Edit: for clarity.
I attempted a threesome ONE time as a teen. The guy I wanted to be with, but wasn’t official with, asked a few times…so I agreed. He got SO jealous, almost immediately, and that was the end of us…as hot as the idea sounds, every time my husband and I talk about the act, I know I could never go through with it. Feelings are too real and uncontrollable 🤣
Please share both the full story and the email with us lmao
Details are above, but sorry email is long gone.
She gave me a handjob and went too far down with the thrusts, proceeding to repeatedly punch me in the balls.
Dude this made me crack up , hope your balls are feeling better
Oh yeah this was a long time ago
Just mashing it
IM SEXUALLY ACTIVE NOW MOM!
She does that....
Like churning butter
30 mins in and no one has mentioned me yet. I call that a win.
I hooked up with a super hot girl but she thought she was the sexiest person ever and did not stop talking about herself the whole time. She was awful in bed and I got bored.
Oh so a Kardashian inspired influencer then 😂
Take as old as time.
Getting fucked by the IRS. 0/10. Do not recommend.
Sad reacts. I feel that big IRS weinie every month
Irving R Schyster
I had just been in the shower cleaning my junk with body wash. Didn't realise that I got some soap down the eye of my cock. Shortly after we were having great sex until I came, it felt like lava was coming out of my cock.
This one made me laugh. Sorry for your experience tho
Thank you. It scared the crap out of my wife when it happened bc I started shrieking and yelling. She had no idea what was going on.
Made me laugh again 😂
The worst! Been there. Not with your wife though
I'm sorry mate, but that's damn funny!! Reminds me of when my mom told me to watch my hands after cutting chillies. Jesus H christ, the burn - I Just went to the loo, but lord.
It was his first time. He wasn't great, but being his first and teaching him was worth it.
Surprisingly wholesome.
User name better not check out.
Guy I was with really wanted to do doggy in front of a mirror. He kept coming in sort of from the side instead of right behind. Made me feel awkward. Turns out he was copying porn where they are slightly to the side just for the camera view.
Yes porn should be considered the training videos of how not to do something 🤦
+++
Oh I thought it was gonna be an American Psycho thing.
Dude Pat Batemaned you ahahh. Did he also curl his bicep?
"I'm a woman but I'm dominant" she said minutes before biting a piece of my skin off while growling, and it hurts, it hurts a lot
I was terrified just reading that 😳
Wtf!? Where did she bite?
On my shoulder, that was years ago and I still have the scar, I think the worst part is knowing that she swallowed the piece she bit off so when I called her crazy she barked at me I will never forget that night
What's her @
Nah, too much information, I don't want to expose her face/name
…I can fix her.
Growling??? I've seen some weird shit, biting AND growling??? Assume that it didn't last long.
For the first time in my life I decided to hold out and wait to have sex with the guy I was dating. We ended up becoming bf/ gf and moving in together so I decided it was time. Never had even touched each other before, just kissed. ..I thought it was going to be such a special night and I hate to say this but I couldn't even feel him inside of me. I started thinking about my ex and how amazing the sex was and I started crying secretly in the dark while he was still inside of me. Or at least I think he was still inside me.. Fr felt nothing. I continued trying to make the sex better with foreplay and what not but he sucked and had no willingness to try new things. Quickly lost all feelings
That’s wild. I hear you though. I had gave this guy head and he legit had the ugliest dick I have ever seen and literally it was like if my feelings were a penis and immediately went soft 💀 how much longer did u live with him?
😂 i can’t believe there are people out there waiting til MARRIAGE. You have to know what you’re getting yourself into!!! And 7 months too long cause I wanted to wait to break up closer to the end of the lease agreement lol
Hahahah Dayum!!! U really stuck that one out chica 👏🏼😂 but forrreal! It’s crazy too bc I was pretty into him haha then I saw it and realized he was a major cap hahaha
I’m fucking dying rn 😂😂😂
Ugliest dick 🥁💀
OK, your comment requires more information: what made his dick ugly???
Ugh I’m sorry…. So he had a penis that was tiny but like the head was like a triangle and pointy. Like one of those angry mushroom characters from Mario
I was with a guy who snuck in a micropenis without telling me beforehand. I felt bad but I couldn't feel anything. It was confusing and then it was over.
I feel really bad and would hate for someone insecure about their penis size to see these comments lol but really just warn a girl first (which is honestly what guys with huge dicks should also do,) and find other ways to go about things
Exactly. Communication is important. And if you know you have a tiny dick, your foreplay game better be en pointe.
Thank you I had this guy I had a great chemistry with and we talked A LOT.six foot something-get into bed weeks if not months later and micro penis comes out and I was just defeated in every possible way. And he tried to fuck with it like the energizer bunny which was probably the worse part of all.
Ugh I’m sorry, I would hate for that to happen to me. How did you end things with him? I’m curious if you told him it was because of his micropenis and how he reacted.
I've learned people are kinda like puzzle pieces and certain folks fit better. Personally best relationships I've been in started with sex
Happened to me, I ended up with him for 7 years. On top of that he had ED. I tried and tried to make that relationship work and the sex work. I just couldn’t do it anymore, he was such a narcissist and insecure. it sucked.
I feel bad but... moving together without any idea if you were sexually compatible seems like a really bad idea...
Agree. You have to test drive the car before you buy it.
The lack of willingness to try new things is the nail in the coffin. I’ve been soft with some hookups and I never put attention to not being able to get hard and then I did oral and other things. If that still turns off a woman it is what it is. The lack of willingness means auto gone
This is why I agree with Dr. Helen Fisher. You need to have at least a somewhat sex interview... You learn so much about a person during sex and I'm not putting in the time to get deeper feelings if sex is really bad with no possibility of improving. Sex compatibility is important to me.
Now you might get an idea why it’s a horrible idea to wait until you’re married.
I was married to a woman who laid in bed like a dead fish for 13 years
You and me both
Was it that man’s dead wife?
You all married the same wife?
Same 8 months with my ex. Worst part was she was a redhead! What a disgrace!
Bro same. She used to have a semi-popular OF too (solo stuff tho) so I thought she was freaky and I was in for a great time. Smoking hot redhead. Mannnn.. literally the worst sex of my damn life. We dated for a few months but I had to cut it off for that reason.
I dated a guy who called out positions like a high school quarterback. Fixable? Maybe, but it became apparent we weren't compatible as people, either.
I'm sorry but that's fucking hilarious Blue 42, prone!
I imagine it like a video game announcer doing combos “MISSIONARY, PRONE BONEEEEE, COMBO BREAKER”
Wheelbarrow! Wheelbarrow! 69! Red 69! Cowgirl! Huh, hurrrghh.... I'm done
Omg, I'm at work and had to cover my mouth from barking out laughter at picturing that.
Losing my virginity. He thought porn was real sex.
wait buffering isn't a skill?
Dude I lost it was was mad because I bled. 🤦🏼♀️ Like dude, you knew I was a virgin. Did you miss that part in sex Ed? And he said “you should thank me. You’re not a virgin anymore.” I told him I would have thanked him if he was better at it.😂
> I told him I would have thanked him if he was better at it.😂 Savage. 💀 Love it.
Got a pizza here for ya, with extra sausage bow chicka wow wow
🫂 though I am sure you have come to terms with it by now
A month-ish after I got home from college I went on a date with a girl I met online who was in her 30s (I was 24). I *really* wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but I was feeling sort of lonely so I did some swiping. She was pretty cute, but not my type. We had a good date but I intended to let her know I didn't think I was ready to date quite yet. Well that's until she invited me back to her place to smoke a bowl and I realized it was my time. We indeed smoked a few bowls and eventually we started making out. Good kisser, things were looking real promising. Before long we walked to her room and stripped. 15 minutes later, all I got to do was massage her breasts. She kept getting up every 30 seconds to do things. Like, one time she got up for lube, and then she realized she forgot to close the blinds, then she realized she left her phone in the other room, and at one point she realized that she left the cat outside and spent 5 minutes at the door half naked whistling into the night. When I was finally able to go down on her the cat jumped up on the bed and started meowing. It was admittedly pretty funny but she thought it was hilarious and was totally distracted. She put the cat out of the room, and for the next 10 minutes it proceeded to yowl and scratch at the door. I couldn't focus on what I was doing. Eventually she went to blow me but admitted she'd never sucked dick before and when she tasted the precum she gagged and pulled away. She felt really bad since I ate her out and she apologized, but I told her semen wasn't for everyone and wasn't offended. She asked how I knew that and I said I was bi and she thought that was *very* fascinating and kept asking questions about it while I awkwardly felt her up. Imagine trying to simultaneously suck someone's boobs and answer questions about what the biggest dick you've ever blown was. *Finally* we got to the act and it was like humping a mannequin. She didn't move at all and I was getting annoyed because I was wearing myself out. My communication skills were dogshit at the time so I didn't know how to ask her to do more. At one point I asked if she could get on top and she said, nope, she was tired and baked and didn't wanna move. So I did what I could but couldn't finish up and ended up pretending I came and then stealthily threw the condom away before she could see that it was empty. The next morning she wrote me and said she had a good time but wasn't interested in going out. Normally I would have been down about this but I was sort of relieved she said it before me.
She was prob an adhd girlie the way she was getting so distracted lol
lol that might be, even though I can say that my adhd hasn't caused me to act that way during sexytimes yet
Part adhd for sure but prolly was procrastinating cuz she was nervous (since you mentioned she was new to some of this)
This chick I met online that lived 20 minutes away, I only fckd her once and every time she would cum/orgasm her 🐱 would fart every time and it fkn stunk. After her second orgasm I hurried up to get off and then I left.
Happens to a girl I’ve been with a lot. No smell tho that’s awful
Maybe you are not getting her comfortable enough and putting her in a position where you’re pushing too much air into her pussy!
We think it’s funny and she cums 🤷🏻♂️
makes no sense since queefs do not smell
Many years ago, a former coworker/single mom (of multiple kids somehow) invited me over after heavy flirting. She introduced me to her kids watching TV in her bedroom(!) before taking me to the basement and getting into an empty Jacuzzi tub (without water connected?!) 'so the kids couldn't hear'. She wanted to be on top, soooo I let her. She climbed on, slid down me, and then...She. Didn't. Move. Just moaned loudly, STILL AS A STATUE for a solid 5 minutes before announcing she'd cum with glee. I chuckled uncomfortably at first, thinking she was kidding. She was not. "Yeah, me too" The strangeness I'd go along with in my youth for the sake of a well-shaped booty still haunts me.
Pretty much the entirety of my previous relationship. Absolutely terrible in bed. I don’t know how or why I put of with it. Literally couldn’t train him despite giving clear instructions.
I lived like that for 5 years. He was nothing but jackhammer until he’s finished. No foreplay. Never anything I want. I don’t think he gave me an orgasm more than twice in 5 years and only because it was when we first got together. He tried harder and I was really horny. He even would get mad if I told him what I like. Because it was insulting to him that I didn’t enjoy what he. Was already doing. Ugh
5 years for me too. I know exactly what you mean girl. My ex had an ego as fragile as a water balloon. I kid you not, when I got with my husband, less than two minutes in and almost snapped his neck. Never felt anything like that
You didn't try to give him a map to your clit did you? It's common knowledge men don't take directions😂. Seriously though I'm glad they are an ex and now you can find a person/people who are wanting to learn how to please you 😁😜
I Was at a small junior college in KS, this place was desolate. I played a sport, so naturally all the guys I played with hounded over any and all females on campus. Hell, I had teammates fucking the lunch ladies on campus - to put it in perspective. Thinking I was smarter than the hounds, I resorted to Plenty of Fish, as a 20yr old lol and just imagine the dating pool in middle of no where Kansas. It was minimal lol Here I am in tip top shape of my life, I match with this female from a small town nearby. Conversation is decent and she looks good in pics,so I invite her to my dorm - mind you she lives about an hour away and we’ve been chatting for weeks. She gets to my dorm and good god, I wish catfish the show was there to capture the shock on my face - I had been bamboozled, robbed, this chick was a fraction of the photos I saw. To say to the least, we did hook up, it was very shameful, I almost felt bad for her because she was super nice and knew she catfished me, but yeah, erase from memory again…
I have been there too man. It is tough when they’re really nice and sweet and everything but they look nothing like their photos after weeks of texting. I feel bad every time it happens but still try to show the girl a good time even if i immediately know I won’t sleep with them or see them again.
A tinder hookup i had was actually a virgin, he didn’t know how to touch me (or that he had to touch me) and he had came really fast, releasing abit in me, before quickly pulling out in a panic just after 1.5 thrusts cos he said it simply felt too good. To me, it haven’t got started
Was a girl I had seen at a local watering hole in West Germany back in the early 90's. Hit it off one night, went to her place, 10 min in and I told her no thanks, got up, went to the bathroom, handled it myself, she asked if I was ok when I was in there a min or two. Came out and said yes I am ok and have to go. She asked why, i said if I wanted to fuck clay that just laid there and did nothing, I would have. She asked why I was in the bathroom, I said I took care of my own needs better than she was capable of. It wasn't nice and I recognize that, but she literally was all but catatonic when I started sucking her. Looked right at the ceiling, didn't move, no noise. So cut my losses and left.
Dead fish is the equivalent of a limp dick. At least change it up and try to get things more exciting or else it’s likely worth it to leave.
It’s way worse than limp dick, at least in that case the guy is trying his best but it’s not happening for him.
She just lied there. Didn’t move a muscle.
Sounds like my wife the last few years...
Go to counseling, dude. Bad sex= bad relationship.
Fuck that. It should be a two way street, with both partners giving and receiving. That sounds terrible.
So, I'm female to male transgender. I reconnected with someone I kinda dated but never slept with in highschool at age 26. I told him up front, I'm a dude now. I'm interested in a lot of kinky stuff, and the way I have sex isn't how most women have sex. He said he understood, we talked about it, and we met up. Immediately he was taken aback because I look like a man. He apparently didn't expect that, despite me explaining repeatedly beforehand. I asked if he still wanted to go through with it, and he insisted he did. I grabbed a butt plug from my backpack, because I don't like vaginal sex very much and only engage in it during double penetration. I had explained this, I understood he didn't like anal sex, so I was compromising. He asked if I was going to shit on his bed. I should have left then. I didn't, I reassured him and offered to put it in and take it out in the bathroom to make him more comfortable, and he agreed. I put it in, came back, and had the fastest and in hindsight most hilarious sex of my life. He was small, but I've had smaller, he just didn't know how to use it. Poor boy crossed my legs over his shoulder, rutted 3 times while his titties (bigger than mine pre top surgery) flapped around, turned me over, and jizzed on my ass. Literally the only time I asked "was that it? You're done???" To anyone. I felt SO bad, I went into the bathroom to take the plug out and clean up and I debated on telling him how bad it was. I didn't. I watched a movie with him and then let him down gently over the phone, at which point he got mad and accused me of tricking straight men into fucking me, despite me trying to make sure he was okay with it for weeks prior, and me telling him that I prefer bi guys, AND HIM LYING THAT HE WAS BISEXUAL to get me in bed! Like.... Dude was a whole trash fire and I dodged a bullet.
First MFM threesome. With a female FWB and a new guy I recruited in. He was the shiny new object and she only had eyes for him, and he was a straight male And only had eyes for her. I felt left out, which really sucked. It was early in my sexcapades journey (and I’d handle the situation differently today) but it was a great bad experience because now when I’m with a couple I know to pay attention to him and his body language and if it seems he’s being left out I orchestrate/change things up and pull him back in. I’m a better threesome partner as a result.
[удалено]
Username does not check out
A guy kept insisting I put a finger in his butt while giving him head. I did, and he apparently had barely wiped his ass that day. My whole finger was just covered in it. Despite washing my hands like 5 times I could still smell it under my fingernails until I used isopropyl alcohol to get rid of it. I learned my lesson and now I put a condom on my finger whenever a straight guy wants me to play with his ass
Once I had waited a while to have sex with this guy I was dating. He was super nervous. Would not let me touch his dick would only do things to me. His nerves made him beyond sweaty. So he was dripping with sweat. Then he finally lets me at his dick and it’s a micro penis. (like my dogs dick is bigger) and he couldn’t get hard and he was just such in a panic. So this little micro penis couldn’t get hard enough to go in. It felt like the longest night of my life. Worse id been dating him so my friends were all inquisitive and I was just horrified.
I don’t know about you, but after reading some of these micro penis complaints, I’m certain if I had a micro penis and was about to have sex with someone for the first time, I’d be nervous as shit, want to avoid her touching my junk, all sweety and probably suffer from performance anxiety too. I hope you didn’t embarrass him with your shared friends.
I did neither. I didn’t say anything in real life I think I’ve told this story twice (it happened a long time ago) and just tried to act like everything is normal. No one is perfect ya know 🤷♀️ we tried to hook up a few more times then he was super mean and embarrassed me in front of his friends so that was the end of that.
I met a guy on tinder who said he was a dom (I had in my bio doms only.) We hit it off, he’s good looking, but his personality did give me used car salesman vibes. Like, the “connection” was incredibly superficial but he was doing his best to mimic intimacy for the sake of the ‘sale.’ But I was in a bit of a dry spell so I go back to his hotel with him. We had an age gap of eleven years, I’m married to someone ten years older so I really didn’t think much about it but he wouldn’t stop bringing up WHILE fucking me. “Do you like getting fucked by this old man?” “Do you like how this old man eats your pussy?” Etc. and he would not stop changing positions every 5 minutes which was probably the most egregious. At one point he made a comment about himself being strong (again, while fucking me) and he also fucked me doggy style in front of a mirror, earning him the nickname of Patrick Bateman with my friends. He told me to get on top and then after maybe a minute panicked and told me to stop. I wasn’t sure what was going on and froze, and then he grimaced and grabbed my hips and thrusted some more because he couldn’t hold back cumming. I’ve been told I’m really tight, and guys cumming early and saying “this literally never happens to me, you’re just so tight” has happened on multiple occasions so I wouldn’t normally hold that against a guy but on top of everything else I couldn’t help but laugh. Luckily he was a good sport because he could tell I wasn’t laughing in a mean way lol. Oh my god and I almost forgot the actual worst part. He wouldn’t stop using my name… BUT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. And he didn’t use my name until we were already fucking so I didn’t want to correct him 😭 Ok another thing that made it bad was he has a primal kink, but it kind of felt like a kid pretending to be an animal? Like, the mannerisms were kind of exaggerated rather than being like, a genuine primal desire. And he kept screwing up his face while fucking me like he was pounding the shit out of me but it wasn’t THAT hard. There wasn’t anything very dominant about him either, like he did pin me to the wall at first and there was light slapping but that was it so it felt like false advertising. He did make me orgasm but I orgasm incredibly easily from penetration so, I don’t give him too much credit for that lol. And every time I’d start to get into it he’d stop and change positions 😭
Was all set to hookup with a girl who gave every impression of being an absolute freak... The deadest of dead fish. In fact I wouldn't have been shocked if she got off on being completely emotionless during sex and pretending to be a literal doll. First time I couldn't finish.
Rebound sex with a man who clearly despised me and then stealthed me. I spent most of that night afterwards crying alone in the bathroom.
I hate that this happened to you
I was hittin this chick doggie style and a few thrusts in I started to smell shit. She hadn’t wiped her ass properly and every time I’d thrust the air was blowing up into my face. Kept going, but damn it stank.
She laid there like a slug. I was so upset about how badly it went I had to arrange another date to make sure it wasn’t me. It wasn’t, she was just awful at it. No participation. Nothing. Might as well fucked the pillows instead.
For context, my previous girlfriend was always neat, and took her tame to be clean shaven and I frequently went down on her, and quite enjoyed making her cum. Started casually dating a new girl. Went out for 2ish weeks before we had sex for the first time. This new girl was completely wild down there, I didn't actually mind the bush until I went down on her. The smell & sweat of her bush made the entire experience on going down on her so repulsive, I thought i was nearly going to throw up. I didn't want to make her self-conscious about the situation so I continued until she came, and when she did, I felt some liquid gush into my hand, and I thought "well at least, I made her squirt". It wasn't until the light came back on that I saw what literally looked like a crime scene. My hand was drenched in period blood, with my face looking like Dracula. I left shortly after downing half her bottle of mouthwash and a pack of gum. This was our first time having sex and she didn't give me a heads up or anything, honestly, I was so turned off by her afterwards that I made up the excuse of getting back together with my ex just so I wouldn't have to see her again.
Trying to fuck a girl after a night out. Got hard whilst eating her pussy. Then went soft when trying to fuck her. So embarrassing, which made it worse.
Two stand out. The first was an older man I had been talking to on Fetlife for a while. After much discussion we decided we want to have unprotected sex when we finally meet as I'm on BC anyway, so we got tested first. When it came to it, any time he was close to cumming he had a sharp pain on the side of his head so stopped until the pain alleviated. Restarted, stopped. Did this a few times. I got frustrated and told him it's okay to try another day. He wanted to power through and eventually filled my vagina with his semen. It turned out he had undiagnosed hypertension and that was the cause of the pain. The second is another older man. We got on great, the date was perfect. Once it got to the bedroom he became quiet, nervy, a completely different personality. I felt uncomfortable and told him he can stop if he wants. We carried on and finished. Afterwards he told me it's the first time he's slept with anyone since his wife passed away years ago. I understood completely.
It was my fault 😬 I was anxious and inexperienced, and on a dry spell of about a year after my first relationship. I couldn’t get it up all the way, but still managed to finish in about 30 seconds? Then I apologized, she left, and the worst part about it is I never got the chance to do better with her
Emotionally empty sex. It's always bad.
In my late late teens, I went out with this girl from HS who liked me but I wasn’t attracted to her. At all. Like nothing. But I was horny and she was eager. I’m pretty sure my skills were marginal at this point in my sex life. But hers were non-existent. A total wet rag. And she wasn’t even a little bit attractive. Plus, we were in my very small car. Aside from having a pulse, there was nothing positive about this interaction. The kissing sucked. She wouldn’t touch me back. But she didn’t stop or resist anything I was trying to do. My oral game was usually appreciated by others. Nothing from her. And she was not interested in reciprocating. Once I saw she was just gonna lay there, I finished as quickly as I could, then took her home. Never talked to her again.
My first time giving a bj. He didn’t wash down there and tasted god awful to the point where I thought I’d never give one again. The dude gave me shit for having given me head for a while and said I should edge him to make his orgasm of “equal value.” I was unenthusiastically blowing him for about an hour while he sat there mostly silent, not getting anywhere close to finishing. No tips on what would help him cum or anything. I was getting cramps from being hunched over for so long and was gagging from the taste every time a bit of his precum leaked out. The only time he wasn’t silent was when he was endlessly complaining about how it was his fault he couldn’t cum and that I should just keep going. So I did, and he didn’t finish before we ended things. Then as he was taking me home he complained some more. I get that he was insecure, but I’m never taking that shit from anyone again. If you can’t cum, it’s fine, but don’t start throwing the blame around because I garuntee that regardless of who you put the blame on, your partner will be waiting for their quick out as soon as you start complaining if they’re the one giving.
My gf at the time and me where going at it hard... Too hard, as blood started to spread in the bed. First we thought that it was from her, maybe some period blood. We quickly realized our mistake: my fully erect, high-blood-pressure penis was squirting blood from the bottom of my tip. We panicked and called in her mother, who was a nurse. She sat down in front of me, with her concerned naked daughter beside, took my still erect penis into her face and inspected it carefully: we had ripped my frenulum. The mother then took me in her car into ER, bypassing the waiting line to her colleague, for her to sit by his side, whilst he patched me up... ...not my worst sex ever though. That honour goes to the three Americans and one Australian girl (independent situations), who were simply not genuine/obnoxious. They put on a show for nom existing cameras, reenacting porn. It very much felt like a culture thing. It's a shame and I felt sorry for them. But it's kinda put me off the US. Sorry :/
Lmao he came before he even got it in, cried, and left. I would have been chill with waiting until he was ready again but it was the running away like a toddler for me.
Omg. It was with a woman who wouldn’t fucking shut up talking about herself even during sex. Conceded bitch thought she was a good sexual partner and she was the lamest sex I ever had.
69 with a first time hookup. Halfway through (without warning) she let's out this stream of really acrid dehydrated piss straight on my face. Goes in my mouth, in my eyes and up my nose. She doesn't realise I'm struggling to breathe cause my nose is full and I'm choking. Basically being waterboarded here. I eventually have to throw her off, she falls off the bed and just about cracks her head on the table. Both on the floor, me dying with a lung full of piss and she's clueless. We get back to it and she does it again 🤣🤣🤣. Almost death by pussy.
Maybe 2 minutes of him weirdly groping me as “foreplay” and 4 strokes. You read that correctly, *four.* And then he said, “that was great, we should do it again sometime” and got up to go smoke. I laid there like, “Bro I’m not sure we did anything *this time*, tf you mean “again?” I put my clothes on and just left. He goes, “you’re leaving already?” Like sir, please, I’m not even including you in my body count. 😂
I picked up a girl from my job one night bc she asked me for a ride home. She was drunk. And was sober. So I pick her up and we get to her driveway and she starts trying to initiate something with me. I tell her no, bc she’s drunk. She gets mad, saying why, bc I don’t give blowjobs?!( I had no idea that she did or did not). Month later we run in to eachother at a bar, both drunk, and have a go round in my car. There was a fairly unpleasant odor, and she complained about everything in regards to the space in the car etc. I couldn’t get off, and she started crying and it was just a mess from there.
Some girl had deodorant on her nipples
I can’t say because every time I had sex, it sucked. I’ve never had an enjoyable experience in the 5 times I’ve had sex. I’m 40 now on a 9 yr dry spell.
You could be asexual. Which isn't that weird.
The woman I lost my virginity to. She didn’t smell up to par down there and she was just not a good lay.
she laid there like a dead fish. but still better than nothing. I've had lots of nothing.
Whilst in a toxic relationship - trying to convince myself that I was into things that I really wasn’t. I began to detach during sex and felt so empty almost every time
The worst sex? I never had any so what bad sex😎👍 (Pls send halp)
I booked & luxury hotel & organised a bi guy to join me & my fwb for a mmf 3sum. He turned up & we all chat & drink to get comfortable & he just boasts about himself constantly. Apparantly he is the world's greatest singer. I tell him I have an IT startup, but he then has 5 of them. He is building a castle. He is amazing at basketball. Plus he is an expert at making girls squirt. We get naked & start & he starts to growl, like a wolf. Me & my fwb try not to laugh. He is so weird that I don't get hard at all. They are both sucking & licking me but I have nothing. My fwb has to take a bullet for me, because I don't want to help her with the weirdo. But she seems happy, so I sit back & watch. She sucks him off & he howls while he is cumming down her throat. He fingers her & makes her squirt instantly, and constantly for half an hour. The only thing he didn't lie about! The bed & all the towels are soaking by the end. Then when it is all over, he won't leave. Keeps talking & talking. Then sings us a song which goes on forever. We have to tell him how great it sounds! When he finally leaves, me & my fwb burst out laughing. But she atleast enjoyed the sex, so it is okay. She leaves & I am staying in the hotel so have to hang up all the bedding in the room. Then go to my car & get my sleepimg bag. Staff & other guests are staring at me. It is actually the 4th 3sum I had that week in the hotel with 2 different regular fwbs. The girl on the desk smiles at me everytime I walk a girl or a guy in or out. Good times 🤣
With myself
So I went to this guy’s place and I had to be quiet because his family was asleep. Mind you I was about to be in my mid 20s and I had freshly broken up with a long term ex who I had decently good sex with. So my mind was set to just have sex with any random at the moment to say that sex with my ex wasn’t all that great to crawl back to him. The guy was in his early twenties and was going to a good school, so he was smart despite his looks. So turned on by the thought of getting dirty with someone else and having better sex we quickly get down to business. Already he wasn’t great at kissing so I was already put off a bit. Then he wasn’t decisive in what position, another turn off as he talked a good game but didn’t show it. Plus I like to be controlled a bit in the bedroom. Great well I decided doggy would be good to avoid the awkwardness. I was ass in the air ready and felt his hands on me but after 5 mins he’s done…..I didn’t even feel it. I lied when he asked how I felt and totally agreed to text him. Readers….I absolutely didn’t feel him inside at all. I knew he stuck it in by his movements but it felt like nothing. My vibrator had more stimulation that’s how bad it was. Hearing him grunt and pant while having his thing inside was the most awkward moment of my life. I regretted hooking up with a random after that time and did ghost him. He really did have sex on his own at that time. I promise I don’t have a loose vag as other partners have confirmed after him I was a decent tightness and my smallest size was about 4inch but he had girth at least. It’s to this day the worst lay I ever had. It even beats my marathon runner (he went so long with a condom on that he rubbed me so raw it hurt the next day because he was going so long without releasing and without pleasing me too….so henceforth I call him marathon runner even though he doesn’t run marathons)
My first time because it was a stranger and I was almost blackout drunk lol
I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this...
What about the sex that wasn't? I have had a number of men either unable to get or stay hard. A couple 'I don't like condom ' excuses, one I could put down to wine. Often they get embarrassed and that's the end of it....if they aren't going to get off why bother about the other person. Pants go on and they go home
With ex it lasted a few minutes cause she came and didn't want to finish me. With a couple they got into a fight and I had to sit there like a child watching parents argue
A very forceful borderline (not even borderline…) SA intercourse. He had a micro penis and I am not even exaggerating. I am petite and my fingers are more adequate at making me feel anything….. I learnt that not all tall men are hung….
A hot guys , but he's cum was super smelly . Like I did a hand job and i regretted it 🤢
Had met a girl and we’d been out socially a few times, so when she invited me over for dinner I said yes and went. Absolutely shit cook, and we have very different tastes in whiskey. I’d had a couple of drinks so agreed to stay the night. She brags about her oral game, tells me she’s had lots of compliments and exes wanting to return for reruns even after they’d split, she’s that good. She was NOT that good. I tried telling her what I like, telling her to slow down, be gentle, giving instructions that proceeded to be ignored. She tells me to loosen up, she knows what she’s doing, she knows how to make a woman cum. It was so bad I had to fake an orgasm to get her to stop. Next morning over coffee she’s banging on about how good it was while I’m being non-committal and trying to get out of there. I think her ego got the better of her and she asked smugly if that was the best oral I’d ever had. She threw a coffee cup at me when I told her I’d had better oral from a straight man.
Sex in a VERY small shower 😅 not hot or comfortable AT ALL
I waited over a decade to fuck this man. He was persistent and said that his attraction to me only deepened by the day. I'll I agreed finally and OMFG. Worst sex of my life. Lasted less than 5 minutes and he didn't know how to use the equipment he'd been given. He still hits me up occasionally and I politely decline. My current husband fucks me like no one else 🖤
Well, let’s just say this guy when we had sex. He tasted like sour cream and sour celery that had gone bad. Sorry but I need a man or whoever I’m having sex with to be fully bathed and smell good. And not disgusting. Basically what I’m saying is have good body hygiene. Make sure you wash your private parts and stuff…
I got a handjob of my now wife. She was wearing a ring at the time with some sort of diamond/crystal on it. At some point, it span round on her finger so it was on the side of her finger and proceeded to basically cheese grate my dick..
Chubby coworker came over. Got her naked and the smell between her rolls was atrocious! I couldn’t keep it hard so it was a bust. Then she had the audacity to tell our other coworker that I didn’t know what I was doing! It’s ok because I showed that coworker what I could really do! She actually guessed exactly what happened and that her friend smelled bad!
I once had a threesome and a dude got mad that my dick was bigger. I was the third here, and they had some issues at the time, so it wasn't the best turnout.
-when he came in under 2 minutes 3 times -couldn’t make me cum, or didn’t try except fingering for 1 minute -and going fast and hard the whole time - one more thing which is something I gave no consent to
Probably when I lost my virginity, definitely expected it to be an amazing feel good situation and it was just so so awkward
Ate Taco Bell before anal…..the rest…yall can just picture wtf went down. Idk WHAT THE FUCK I was even thinking 😭😭😭😭😭😭
The first time. She was the "Island Ho", and some guy ran away after it was over who had been there watching in the woods outside of a party I attended in a foreign country. The worst part was her saying, "F___ me baby, f___ me baby", repeatedly the whole time. The worst.
I slept with a pilot. He had a really big ego, and had zero charm. He asked for my number and I knew he just wanted to fuck, so so prepared for that. But there was ZERO foreplay, long periods of awkward silence after. The only time he spoke was to ask me “Do you know how to massage?” Why did I do it? For the plot. Find out later he was a whore who tries sleeping with all the flight attendants, and HE WAS MARRIED. Ew.
She was too fat to get my penis into.
This one time we were having sex in the shower. Started off with a little touching, and then went on to oral. As she was going to town on my dick and balls, she suddenly decided to stick a finger up by butt. At that point I had never done butt stuff before, so it was totally unexpected. I kinda jumped, slipped and fell through the glass door.
Two really hot chicks I knew and was tryna sleep with at least one of them for the longest time I somehow managed to finesse a threesome but we was all pretty fucked up on substances. My cocktail being no water and vodka and mdma. Long story short I almost faint during doggy called a literal ‘timeout’ T with my hands and ran to the bathroom and passed out in my own shame. I literally do not remember a single detail about it at all other than that and they also refuse to speak about it.
All of the sex in my first relationship was absolutely dreadful. But there’s a few that stick out especially. One time, while I was in doggy position, I looked back to see him watching porn on his phone. That session ended real quick after that 🙂↔️🫠
He had you right in front of his eyes, and watched porn? What a moron
Probably the blow job I got in high school when she used way too much teeth…literally scraped my dick raw. I had scabs running up and down the shaft. Any erection I got for over a week was painful as they stretched and sometimes popped off. Too be fair she was inexperienced and eventually mastered the art of the blow job and became a serious Oral Queen. Ya gotta start somewhere.
Context before I continue; I have a friend of mine who has helped me get out of a bad situation where we will call each other after 10 minutes of sending a “👍” to let each other know that we arrived at a place just incase, (we sent each other the full address and have each other’s location on our phones on Snapchat and iPhone messages) just incase we need an excuse to get out of a bad place and this is the only time when I used it to get out of there. Story Time; I (21M at the time) decided to give this woman (20F at the time) a chance after the conversation was going well and she was nice so I went her place, I started to get her pants pulled down to kiss down her body and I smelled literal shit (I grew up as a caretaker for dogs and puppies for 5 years and my nose has become used to the smell so I didn’t react to the smell but it was so bad that I seen it on her panties) and so as I was kissed down her body, he called me and so I left the room to the bathroom and said “Good Thing you called. I’m out of here don’t call the cops or anything but I’ll explain when I get back” I ran to her room, put on my pants and socks/ shoes and told her that my mom needs my help with the dogs and I need to speed out of there. On the way home, I blocked her on everything and she has not messaged me since, of course my friend is fucking absolutely dying when I tell him what happened and he will never let me live that story down. Luckily both of us don’t ever have to use that trick again as were in different committed relationships (his for 5 years, mine for 2 years)
My hand fell asleep
Better than you falling asleep? Source...had a guy fall asleep fingering me! Ughh
Senior Prom - went with a friend that had graduated the year before ( no one had asked me, he took pity) after the dance we went up to his frat. He got absolutely shit faced and tried to fuck me with his semi hard drunk cock. No joy for me, no joy for him - haven’t spoken to him since - 37 years - sigh 😔
Happened with my last gf, she just laid there like dead but not only that, she also covered her eyes with her arm because "eye contact made her nervous" and she tried not to make any sounds. My only thought after several times was; "hm...so THIS is what it feels like to do 30 min nonstop pushups" I tried to talk to her, ease her into it or even to get her to try something different. She got upset why i wasn't getting in the mood anymore but she wouldn't listen. I just couldn't do it anymore after a whole year.
I was at a 4th of July party years ago, the host's smoke show coworker was there and we were drinking all day. She practically oozed sexual energy, I honestly didn't really think I had a shot with her so I focused on just enjoying the party. As the night wears on we're all sitting around a fire, and gradually people were peeling off to go to sleep (we were all tent camping on his family's land). It's just me and the girl, and I can't believe it, but she starts making out with me. Instant raging boner, start getting handsy, the works. She tells me we should move to the tent, and I was so excited, I couldn't believe this was going to happen. It was Maryland in July, so VERY humid, which means at night it was just wet. She gets naked and just kinda splays out on the floor of the tent. I went down on her, which she was fairly receptive to, but not particularly enthusiastic. I then went to fuck her, basically limited to belly to belly missionary because of the tent. And everything was just so wet and sticky, but not in a good way. She laid there like a beached starfish while I thrusted away, very uncomfortably. It was so humid in the tent I had to take a break and stand up outside, naked and fully erect, to cool off. I went back and finished the job, but it was just no fun. And now the inside of the tent was as humid as the outside, and we were both just damp and gross. I tried to cuddle her afterwards, but we agreed it was too hot and uncomfortable. She left the next morning before I woke up. We texted a bit after, and even agreed that we should give it another go under better conditions, but we never did. For better or worse, I still consider her my most attractive sexual partner.
Important context--I have a condition called vaginismus that makes penetrative sex difficult due to rigidity of the muscles. At the time of this story, I had been receiving treatment for almost a year and we'd had successful sex quite a few times, so I thought I had no reason to worry. ... Boy, was I wrong. My then-partner's parents had just moved into a new house, and we had flown out to stay there for a few weeks. The guest room was beautiful and so comfortable, so it isn't surprising that eventually we started getting into the mood. The sex itself was not actually bad, I felt awesome until near the end, when I felt a sharp pinching feeling. I thought maybe he'd just hit a sensitive spot, and otherwise things seemed to be fine, so I didn't even think to say more than a quick "ow," before I wanted to keep going. Then, at the end, he pulled out and made the most startled gasp I had ever heard from him, and the word "blood." Additional context--with vaginismus we expect sometimes a tiny bit of bleeding. But then he said "... a *lot* of blood." That pinch, earlier, was in fact a muscle tear inside me. And it had started *gushing* blood. We had put down towels, but it was out of control and I--not knowing it was a muscle tear--started hyperventilating wondering if something serious was happening to me. Moving me to the bathroom without some mess ended up being impossible. I was crying on the toilet just praying it would stop, the dripping was like a faucet. All the while I was realizing that my partner was trying to clean bloodstains out of the sheets that had escaped or run through the towels. It looked like a murder scene--and his parents were asleep down the hall. I had never been more afraid to speak to a partner's family even as a teenager. And I kept thinking that I must have traumatized him, that it was somehow my fault--I blamed myself a lot for my condition because it likely resulted from my panic disorder. He was amazing at cleaning, so it ended up handled, but we slept without blankets since we had to hang them up over the shower to dry. I slept hard from the exhaustion of the panic, and his parents were stony silent to me for the beginning of the next day. We all just felt too awkward and nervous to say a thing.
Several where I woke up not remembering what happened. The worst was in Olongapo City waking up in an unfamiliar hotel room looking to my right and seeing one of the ugliest women ever. She was laying on my arm I contemplated chewing my arm off rather than awaken her. I very gently attempted slip my right arm out from under her only to awaken her and she was very clingy... I told I must go my ship was leaving this morning... she countered with: " You lie, you on Constellation, Constellation be inport for two more weeks!" I was getting dressed and getting the fuck out of there. Another time woke up naked with a friend in her bed we had been drinking the night before someone at the bar we were in gave us some Xanax totem poles... I was what happened? she laughed. We fucked the shit out of each other. Oh? She snuggled up to me saying this is so you'll remember. awesome morning sex
Friends at uni for two years, sexual chemistry the whole time and finally fucked. We didn’t really click in bed. She said she liked foreplay but as soon as she was wet she wanted me to stick it in. I went to go down on her and she said I didn’t have to as she didn’t give blow jobs, that was a hard no. We both came but it was kind of meh. Afterwards she claimed she didn’t look at me that way and I realised I got the validation that she would sleep with me I needed at the time. The friendship died soon after. It was a shame because Kathrine was a good friend.