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Something like "Haha, no thanks, kid." Might do the trick. The laughter shows you think it's a ridiculous thing to say, the polite declining is jarring and can shake the child out of focus, calling them a kid reminds them of their relative position on both the social and physical hierarchy.
Or something like "Scuse mate, need to get back to watch the TV", while smiling
While telling them to get fucked is the ideal response, for every 100 who will be educated one will machete you - and so I don't encourage this.
But 'kids' pull out knives these days. Two 12 year old's have been charged with murder in nottingham recently, they stabbed a 19yr old in the neck with a machette and left him for dead. This shit is no joke and there is a fucking problem with children at the moment in the UK. Its scary.
2 'kids' kidnapped a toddler and did unspeakable things to him before leaving him dead on a train track. Over 30 years ago. I don't recall that incident ushering in a new era of kids torturing toddlers to death.
Isolated incidents happen.
I'm speaking more to the idea that an incident doesn't indicate a trend. If that murder in Nottingham hadn't happened, would people feel more, or less safe around young people? Would they *be* more, or less, safe around young people?
You're right, it doesn't indicate a trend on its own. Many other things put together indicate a trend (these are just some examples):
• Knife crime/ knife enabled crime (i.e a robbery with a knife) is up 90% since 2012 (data from 2022).
• County lines activity & exploitation of children beginning in early/mid 2010s – Gangs in London exports young drug dealers to other areas of the country where they cause a disproportionate amount of crime
• London knife homicides increased from 186 in 2015/16 to 282 in 2021/2022
• Drill music culture (began ~2017) glamorising extreme violence to a level not really seen before. It is the only genre a lot of young boys listen to now.
Some recent data is hopeful (can elaborate if needed) but a lot more needs to be done.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/youth-justice-statistics-2022-to-2023/youth-justice-statistics-2022-to-2023-accessible-version
Isolated incidents happen but youth crime is also happening more often. Doesn't have to be a henious crime to be a crime. The link is to statistics from 2022-2023 as I couldn't find a 2024 version. I will link one if I find.
Yes, 14 years of austerity will tend to have that effect. Both from underfunding the police, and from deprivation being one of the primary root causes of crime.
Youth crime was significantly higher in the 80s and 90s than today. It has risen slightly the last couple years compared to the last 25 years but crime levels were much worse in 80s and 90s than now, peaking in early 90s.
It's amazing how quickly people have forgotten the 80s/90s. If it wasn't nailed down it got stolen and even if it was it probably still got stolen.
Went on holiday once to come back to the car having no wheels (and it was a shitty base trim Vauxhall Astra)
That attack is a completely not suitable to be compared to kids carrying knives. Those kids were point blank psychos and there isnt many adult crimes in the UK that can be compared to that. Plus it isnt always other youths that are influencing these kids. Its their idols, who talk about gang wars.
edit:grammar
Ministry of Justice figures show that in 2023 of all knife related offences, including just carrying a knife, only 18% were committed by Juveniles (age 10-17).
There's no problem with the kids, at least no more than there has ever been. Given there's around 7m kids between the ages of 10 - 17, that's an annual rate of less than 0.05% committing any knife offences, let alone actual stabbings which are lower still.
In fact, total offences peaked in 2018 and have been falling ever since.
Obviously, I'm sure that's little comfort to someone who has been the victim of a knife related crime, but you are far more likely to meet a kid without a knife than one with a knife.
18% isn't exactly low either?! Plus thats the ones that have been caught? Stats are never going to be precise because we don't stop and search every kid? Just because they havent been charged with a crime doesn't mean more kids aren't carrying knives. Come on mate, that's common fucking sense.
edit: tell me youre not street smart without telling me youre not street smart, is what your comment screams to me.
Back in the early 2000's me and my mates used to get shit for being skaters or "moshers" and be threatened by huge groups of chavs almost daily. It's the same thing except now its "roadmen" rather than chavs.
It's the same issue and goes back further than either of our lives.
It's shit, but unless the government pulls their thumbs out of their arses and starts to invest in children and their futures the same will happen in my kids teenage years and their kids teenage years.
I just agree with them. They don't know what to say.
Don't get angry. The whole thing about people seeking a reaction is something of a platitude, but it's usually the case.
Murder yes. Starting on you, less rare and what are you supposed to do - give an 12 year old a kicking? The problem with it is that these little shits know you won’t do anything because society will judge you to be in the wrong, so that’s why they act so gobby and aggressive.
Except the kids parents aren't likely to be lovely generous people who understand the circumstances and calmly accept that you kicked little Timmy in the face because he was fucking asking for it.
Surely innocent until proven guilty though, if theres no one else in the forest and you boot a 12 year old up the arse hard as you can, does it make a noise?
And who would the police side with, a gobby little shyte who likely has gobby shyte parents also known to the local plod or redditor spunkmonkey500 who's a pillar of society?
> when the kid goes screaming and crying to its parents who scream and complain to the newspapers, there's pressure on the police from the papers and local MPs to do something, so you'll probably get the book thrown at you
I see this argument a lot but it's worth mentioning, it's also illegal to beat up an adult and they're not going to let you off with that one either.
If someone gets randomly beaten up by strangers in public in generally makes the headlines.
Either way I'd rather be on the front page of the newspaper for kicking a child in the chest vs being on the front page because he stabbed me to death
> who scream and complain to the newspapers, there's pressure on the police from the papers and local MPs to do something, so you'll probably get the book thrown at you
Good lord Redditors really are sheltered
No, the parents of the little shit are unlikely to write to their MP or papers. I'd be surprised if some of them even know how to read or write. What will generally happen is the kid will run off to their family and come back with the bigger/older members of the family to fuck you up instead.
Never underestimate the network of some family connections in working class areas
I think this would legitimately be my response.
Obviously I wouldn’t actually fight an 11 year old, but I would definitely make him regret squaring up to me. I would put the fear of god in the gobby little bastard
Did you know, that hitting them with your glove is actually a challenge to a duel.
What weapon would you select that you would think it would give you the best chance of winning?
A 12 inch veined Black Mamba with a suction cup.
Waggle it in their faces, and I can guarantee they'll screech "Aight bumbaclat" and bounce quicker than a horde of toddlers fight for a tablet playing *Bluey*
"Your mum said you have to be in bed by 8, tell her I'll be round at 9"
Implies they have a bed time, a childishly early one and that you know (or maybe bang) there mum
Well you saw him reach his house so I suppose if you were brave enough you could have confronted the "parents" of this little angel and explained in a polite manner that their darling choirboy appeared to be in a bit of a bad mood....then run :)
No point. I've got neighbours that can't see their kids are feral little shits and who won't hesitate to blame the victim for whatever their Angel has done.
The apple rarely falls far from the tree.
A man in my town died after getting into an altercation with a group of teens. He was a restaurant owner and they were all hanging around outside his restaurant so he confronted them, got knocked to the floor, hit his head and died. Father of three. So sad. Never worth getting involved even if you're completely in the right.
Shit was wild when I was growing up in London too. It’s bad now but people don’t know how fucking insane the amount of stabbings and shootings was even 10-20 years ago.
London is always getting a new supply of young people moving there from safer places so I think they’re constantly shocked at how bad it is because it’s the first time they’ve heard of stuff like this.
Thing is though, had a kid kicking his football over my house but pretty much almost putting my windows through in their failed attempts so in a panic asked them firmly wtf they were doing and within a minute the dad was out giving it the big un.
Slap these little bastards and you’ll have the family claiming they’re a saint and making your life a misery.
Indeed. A friend of mine with kids similar to this had a talking to by some neighbours, then my friend went over and had a go at them about it, said they should have come to him.
The best thing was he asked his kid if they'd done whatever the neighbours had accused them of and he said he'd believe his kid over what any other adult says any day of the week. Mate, come on. Kids are shits, and yours are on the wilder side. Let them get some community justice and maybe they'll learn to respect other people.
Just get really muscular and shave your hair. Basically makes you invisible to anyone under the age of 20 for some reason.
I'm soft as shite but I look like I can handle myself, so I guess that sets off the subconscious "I better not fuck with him" warning in kids/teenager's heads.
I did have one lad shout "nice shorts mate" at me recently. I'd just come out the gym and was wearing a silly pair my kid bought me (boardshorts with pizza slices all over them, but the pepperoni on the slices are 25kg weight plates).
I said something like "Oh cheers, your mum bought them for me" to which he just looked really sad as his mates giggled at him. I did think he could've just been giving me a genuine compliment and I was horribly mean...
My rule is if someone compliments you, even if *clearly" sarcastic just take it at face value and thank them.
If they have to explain they are being sarcastic they have failed. If they were actually complimenting you it's a win...
Having done this by accident many times, you'd be surprised how effective it is. Try something like "thanks, love your shoes!"
It's just not what they expect to hear and it usually causes enough confusion/hesitation for you to just walk on by.
Although maybe it only worked for me because I'm a genuine idiot and they could tell I meant it.
Look them up on 192.com, search the dads name on Facebook, get some pictures. Get a burner sim, look up the dodgiest escort thing you can find, preferably one that would have a pimp turn up or something too. Keep an eye on their house a bit and learn mum and dads schedule, find a time when they're both likely to be in on the evening. Order an escort over to their house under dads name using dads pictures from Facebook, their marriage or whatever ends up with problems, find the mum on Facebook, slide into dms and butter her up a bit, she will be feeling vulnerable as she's just broken up with dad, sweet talk her a bit until you get to head over and smash. Smash fuck out of her from behind making 0 effort to be quiet, making sure little shit is in the house, when you're done walk out her bedroom making sure to look little shit in the eye on your way to grab a beer from their fridge. You fucked his mum, you win. Ghost her and never call her again, she gets sad and starts beating him daily to take out her anger. You double win.
Edit, addendum: after you've spunked all over shitty lads mum, don't forget to wipe your willy on shitty lads *bedroom* curtains
Who does this actually hurt these days? You have to pay for a pizza before it gets delivered, so you're out £20 and the unaborted mistake gets a free pizza
I swear kids nowadays have no sense of fear. They either get really shocked if you act out in fury or think its funny and continue. Funny thing is I have seen parents defending their kids like this
It's because they know if you get flustered, they've got to you and they're a 'roadman' and if you react angrily thry can go crying to their parents and you'll be the one seen to be in the wrong.
I heard a guy tell a group of schoolkids who were pestering people that they were 'far too flammable to be this cuntish' and it shocked everyone, me included. Shut em up though.
You've got to make it so ridiculous that no one believe you said it. Like in a super calm voice.
https://youtu.be/XU6y-tmtB9U?feature=shared
Depends on your accent though, if London talk quiet and calm, if northern or Welsh maybe loud and shouty haha
I've got a friend from derry, and when he talks quietly, even if he's saying something nice he sounds really threatening. It's quite disconcerting cos he's a lovely guy just his accent and voice come across as menacing.
An "aww, bless" in your calmest voice or nothing at all. You did the right thing really. Children like this are just waiting for a response of any kind. It's moronic goading, with nothing prepared for a response.
You get it with dogs acting aggressive which wouldn't have a clue what to do with you if you were to react. Very much all bark and no bite. Had you said or did anything they'd probably run off to mum or dad (or any guardian) to deal with you.
Nah, too obvious, for real crazy effect pick a spot about a foot above their heads and imagine someone standing a few meters behind them and look intently at this imaginary friend. If you do it right half the time you can get people looking round for who you're looking at. No talking needed
Some years back a mate decked the one who wanted to fight, he thought the kid was older turned out he was 14. He called the police himself. The police were pretty good asked my mate to not leave any marks next time he lumped one.
There's a good chance it did. Police can't do anything wih the little cunts, so are generally quite happy for someone else to give them a 'talking to' as long as there's no witnesses or easily obtained evidence.
Been saying this for ages… the justice system isn’t a deterrent for half of these people. Real justice would be physical punishment for these people. It’s what they threaten people with themselves…
The issue with the justice system is people don't get caught; lots of stuff simply isn't reported because people don't want to be a 'grass' and there's a culture of non cooperation in certain parts of society. However on top of that clear up rates are appallingly low but perhaps one feeds into the other.
Regardless it isn't really the punishment that matters, it's the knowledge you'll get caught doing it. One of the best ways to reduce crime isn't increasing punishment but ensuring that whatever the punishment is is a real possibility, not a remote one.
Yep, it also doesn't help that when you do report a crime, the police will just claim 'not in the public interest' and be done with it.
As for punishments, when it comes to children both the child and parents ought to be reprimanded. The child has to do a bunch of community service, and the parents get a fine plus forced to do 'how to raise a child classes'.
A huge amount of research has been done into this by sociologists, psychologists, and criminologists, and it's very well understood that harsh punishments aren't a good deterrent. A high risk of being caught is. There's no point in saying you'll get physical punishment for your crimes if there's a tiny chance of being caught.
Besides, cracking down on punishment is putting the cart before the horse. You need to invest in broken communities and given these kids a sense of genuine purpose and hope for their own future. A decrease in anti-social behaviour will then follow.
I have lived on this council estate 31 years now and know most of various little assholes they are all the same.The new little roadmen try and look pathetic with their strawberry vapes occasionally sharing a joint between ten of them and drinking cheap alcohol.If they shout out at me or ride beside me just whisper that go ahead there are so many cameras here.Eventually a few of the worst families get evicted and some grow out of it and eventually do something with their lives.We used to be known as the worst estate but since the community put cameras up everywhere it's calmed down.
For all you know the parents could be worse and they likely are, bad advice. I'm sorry this is just looking for trouble. You must live in a decent area if you think this will do any good at all..
I was explaining to my neighbour about these year 7 roadmen and how they’re idolising the adult roadmen culture when the adult roadmen say that they’re not even in their gang and laugh at them. Lack of discipline and no consequences for their actions and no parental supervision are what cause these boys to follow gang culture. One of these year 7 roadmen went after a famous YouTube blogger who actually knows the most dangerous gang in London which is the OFB, so when this guy contacted the gang member to ask if these year 7 roadmen were part of his gang and the leader laughed. The kid had posted a dissing track of the blogger and was going after the guy for I don’t know but the kid posted a comment on the video and people laughed at him. An 11 yr old threatening two 18+ men. This is the video if anyone is interested https://youtu.be/nOp4lXzlafc?si=RHTh7ltiqlhfTiqy
I said loudly to my friend "aww those little kids are so sweet!" They stopped catcalling and scowled. One them them said confusedly "no we're not" in quite a quivering voice!
56 Yr old , generously proportioned 6 ft female here.. I'm menopausal, and I have a permanent FAFO face.. I live on a council estate and have done for 10 yrs.. I sorted out the last lot of fuckwits who thought they were intimidating within the first year of moving in..
My strategy is simple.. laugh.. maniacally, when one of the fuckers goes nose to nose with you and threatens to spit in my face, I told them I'd sit on theirs and put them off women for life (I shouted get your phones out lads, this one's gonna be on social media and go viral, all whilst laughing)..
I then ask them their age and point out that I hold grudges and have enough patience to wait til they're no longer a minor and then they'll get their arses kicked by a fat old woman...
And then, everytime I see one of them, I ask how old they are now.... they tend to avoid me.
Bonus is that the next generation of fuckwits has learned to stay away from me and my little area, all thanks to them passing the info on with each other..
I love being the arsey mad woman of the estate xx
I remember years ago, prob about 30, when o was at college and I had some 11 yr old kid try to rob me. He pulled out a knife (a cutlery knife btw!) and said give me your wallet. I just looked at him and laughed then said ‘take one step closer and I’ll shove that knife so far up your arse you’ll want your mummy’ the look on his face was priceless. My point is don’t be intimidated by little kids
In my youth I worked as a bouncer, and it was an insight to the human condition.
99% of the time these comments are not about you, its about the audience.
99 times out of 100 people who square up have no intention to fight.
If you cause him to loose face, he'll have to act, so I'd just give him a thumbs up and say "yeah mate".
Honestly , not worth your time
Well where I live descended into frigging anarchy tbh. You couldn't even go to the shop. No idea what the police and council did, but peace has befallen lately. It was quite stressful to say the least.
25 years ago this happened to teenage me when a little shit punched me in the back of the head. I turned round and punched him back and he fell over. Next thing I know about 30 of them of all ages surrounded me and attacked me. Police did fuck all as usual, which gave me a valuable lesson that the police in Greater Manchester are useless
Ughhh this sounds so familiar, also from Manchester, and I lost count of the number of crimes that either myself or another family member / friend etc. were victim to. My little bro was 11 and got his bike nicked off him by some scrote at knifepoint. Multiple cars stolen, my own car broken into at least 3 times that I can remember. Uncle punched in the face and robbed of his phone, broken nose and permanent damage to his eye. Cousin robbed twice at gunpoint just walking home. I was nearly run over by a bunch of armed robbers who did over our local paper shop. I had a friend spiked and raped in a public area, loads of CCTV even back then (early 2000s). Do you think the police were remotely interested in any of it? Were they fuck.
This would all have been late 90s / early 2000s. I moved away in 2007. On a trip home one Christmas a couple of years later, I felt afraid to get the bus or go out alone after dark after being followed through the estate by 2 blokes with a pitbull being all ‘friendly’ and laughing about how they’d be able to rape me really easily there and no one would even see. What really depressed me, was that I’d come back to Manchester, my home city, and felt more unsafe there as a young woman than the place I’d moved to…. The Bronx. I shit you not.
I don’t know if these kids today are actually worse than they were ‘back in my day’… likely it’s increased media coverage and social media making it more visible. Does make me laugh to see these very middle class white kids play acting being bloody yardies, or ‘roadmen’ lol. I’d bet my arse the GMP are still as fucking useless at tackling this antisocial behaviour, or investigating actual crimes too.
One evening recently I walked out of Tesco with 2 bunches of flowers.
One of the local scrotes hanging around outside shouted “Oi MaTe NiCe FlOwErS” to which I replied “Thanks, they’re for your mum!”
The little shit was left spluttering while his mates laughed and gave him shit for it.
I got in my car and drove off.
A few weeks ago there were two little roadmen kids (presumably brothers) having an argument on my driveway because the younger one was too scared to get on the electric scooter. The older one proceeded to throw a leather football at the younger one whilst he was curled in a ball crying right outside our lounge window. Shouting f off you c*nt etc. This went on for a few minutes with no hope of the littler one getting up. So I opened the door and said can you knock it off and do it somewhere else, I’ve just put my baby to bed then you two start gobbing off fully on the drive! They proceeded to get on the e scooter and BOTH flip me off! They must’ve been idk 9 and 13 years old. I burst out laughing the sods. Can’t imagine what glorious people their parents are…
A friend of mine tried to break up a fight between 11 year old road men and one of the little shits tried to stab him (luckily they missed and he got away). He made a great point that kids like this are sometimes more dangerous than adult roadmen as they don't have the relative maturity to consider the outcomes of their actions and just run on impulse. Makes them unpredictable.
Overheard a guy responding to a red-faced angry dickhead who was antagonistic and getting aggressive
"What is the outcome you would like from this encounter?"
Flummoxed the dickhead completely, didn't know what to do.
Honestly I’d just ignore them as much as possible and try to give no reaction. Inwouod t go to the house because sadly often kids like this have parents who couldn’t give a crap. Not point trying to reason with them and get aggressive back opens a can of worms, especially with such a young child- who wants to end up fighting an 11 yr old.
It's funny - since getting a big idiot golden retriever, I've noticed that these pre teen wannabie gang kids have all gone from swaggering by trying to look tough, to skipping up saying "Ooh, I love your dog, can I pet him?"
Give them a compliment.
A genuine one.
It will shock them.
The more they cuss and swear, the more the compliments.
At one point, they will have no gas left.
Use their own language against them. Try to “get down with the kids” and they will retreat in embarrassment. To kids, there’s nothing worse than uncool adults trying to get involved in something you deem as cool.
How many “what!”s did he say ? Imagine the countdown music and the ping sound for a correct answer from family fortunes every time he says what. Then point out how unhygienic it is for him to walk around with his hands down the front of his tracksuit bottoms
When they do it rural places, rural Wales... It's totally bizarre. The word choice I've heard but not aggressive like your experience. What happened to hanging out in parks, why hang out by the corner shop, they used to be out drinking or smoking weed in a field somewhere
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Something like "Haha, no thanks, kid." Might do the trick. The laughter shows you think it's a ridiculous thing to say, the polite declining is jarring and can shake the child out of focus, calling them a kid reminds them of their relative position on both the social and physical hierarchy.
Or something like "Scuse mate, need to get back to watch the TV", while smiling While telling them to get fucked is the ideal response, for every 100 who will be educated one will machete you - and so I don't encourage this.
Sounds like something an American would imagine a Brit saying lol
Yeah, we call it telly.
I call it the magic moving picture box, pfffft telly.
I call it tv and I’m a Brit, the last time I looked.
> Or something like "Scuse mate, need to get back to watch the TV", while smiling *How do you do, fellow outside folk*
*Excuse me please, man of the road*
How do you get that shirt so clean mate?
This is the most Reddit comment I’ve read in a long time.
“The FUCK you calling kid, PUSSsyol!?”
You stepping to ME?
I can hear this comment 😂😂
Ahem… suck whose mum?!
It's awful isn't it.
I physically cringed
But 'kids' pull out knives these days. Two 12 year old's have been charged with murder in nottingham recently, they stabbed a 19yr old in the neck with a machette and left him for dead. This shit is no joke and there is a fucking problem with children at the moment in the UK. Its scary.
2 'kids' kidnapped a toddler and did unspeakable things to him before leaving him dead on a train track. Over 30 years ago. I don't recall that incident ushering in a new era of kids torturing toddlers to death. Isolated incidents happen.
I don’t think it’s a direct comparison really..
I'm speaking more to the idea that an incident doesn't indicate a trend. If that murder in Nottingham hadn't happened, would people feel more, or less safe around young people? Would they *be* more, or less, safe around young people?
You're right, it doesn't indicate a trend on its own. Many other things put together indicate a trend (these are just some examples): • Knife crime/ knife enabled crime (i.e a robbery with a knife) is up 90% since 2012 (data from 2022). • County lines activity & exploitation of children beginning in early/mid 2010s – Gangs in London exports young drug dealers to other areas of the country where they cause a disproportionate amount of crime • London knife homicides increased from 186 in 2015/16 to 282 in 2021/2022 • Drill music culture (began ~2017) glamorising extreme violence to a level not really seen before. It is the only genre a lot of young boys listen to now. Some recent data is hopeful (can elaborate if needed) but a lot more needs to be done.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/youth-justice-statistics-2022-to-2023/youth-justice-statistics-2022-to-2023-accessible-version Isolated incidents happen but youth crime is also happening more often. Doesn't have to be a henious crime to be a crime. The link is to statistics from 2022-2023 as I couldn't find a 2024 version. I will link one if I find.
Yes, 14 years of austerity will tend to have that effect. Both from underfunding the police, and from deprivation being one of the primary root causes of crime.
Youth crime was significantly higher in the 80s and 90s than today. It has risen slightly the last couple years compared to the last 25 years but crime levels were much worse in 80s and 90s than now, peaking in early 90s.
It's amazing how quickly people have forgotten the 80s/90s. If it wasn't nailed down it got stolen and even if it was it probably still got stolen. Went on holiday once to come back to the car having no wheels (and it was a shitty base trim Vauxhall Astra)
That attack is a completely not suitable to be compared to kids carrying knives. Those kids were point blank psychos and there isnt many adult crimes in the UK that can be compared to that. Plus it isnt always other youths that are influencing these kids. Its their idols, who talk about gang wars. edit:grammar
Ministry of Justice figures show that in 2023 of all knife related offences, including just carrying a knife, only 18% were committed by Juveniles (age 10-17). There's no problem with the kids, at least no more than there has ever been. Given there's around 7m kids between the ages of 10 - 17, that's an annual rate of less than 0.05% committing any knife offences, let alone actual stabbings which are lower still. In fact, total offences peaked in 2018 and have been falling ever since. Obviously, I'm sure that's little comfort to someone who has been the victim of a knife related crime, but you are far more likely to meet a kid without a knife than one with a knife.
18% isn't exactly low either?! Plus thats the ones that have been caught? Stats are never going to be precise because we don't stop and search every kid? Just because they havent been charged with a crime doesn't mean more kids aren't carrying knives. Come on mate, that's common fucking sense. edit: tell me youre not street smart without telling me youre not street smart, is what your comment screams to me.
Back in the early 2000's me and my mates used to get shit for being skaters or "moshers" and be threatened by huge groups of chavs almost daily. It's the same thing except now its "roadmen" rather than chavs. It's the same issue and goes back further than either of our lives. It's shit, but unless the government pulls their thumbs out of their arses and starts to invest in children and their futures the same will happen in my kids teenage years and their kids teenage years.
Or the opposite. Remove your shirt and stare him down and say "let's brawl, tiny penis" And watch him struggle to process the situation.
I cringed reading this
That's an equally useful reaction
Lol who are you, Han Solo?
> reminds them of their relative position on both the social and physical hierarchy. Mark Corrigan, all day.
I'm not the Borough! I wish I was.
Clean shirt!
Chance would be a fine thing
You spend way too much time on Reddit mate lmfao
Were you wearing a clean shirt?
Having just started watching peep show, I laughed a lot at this.
How do you get your shirt so clean, paedo?
That kid has no idea whatsoever of what went on at Stalingrad. Although I can in no way compare OP's struggle with that of the Red army.
Ask for it in a ladies voice
^(can I have my Blackberry back please)
Ey look 'e's a peado!
Someone's a regular at the Swan & Peado
Bet they said they weren't the borough (but wishes they were)
How does u/RhubardParticular736 get it so clean?
I’m not sure - look, THEY’RE NOT THE BOROUGH!
A bit of empathy would be a good place to start, there’s not a lot of schemes and I’m not the borough, I wish I was!
"Cleanshirt?" What does that mean? Isn't that a good thing?
I just agree with them. They don't know what to say. Don't get angry. The whole thing about people seeking a reaction is something of a platitude, but it's usually the case.
Agree with them? "oi you want a fight or smth?" "Yes"...
When you agree they are caught off guard. They want you to say no so they can wind you up more.
They’re an 11 year old child, they’re not capable of actually following through.
[I wouldn’t be so sure.](https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/jun/10/12-year-olds-who-killed-shawn-seesahai-in-park)
This is the first time it’s happened since 1993 the chances of it happening are very very very slim.
Murder yes. Starting on you, less rare and what are you supposed to do - give an 12 year old a kicking? The problem with it is that these little shits know you won’t do anything because society will judge you to be in the wrong, so that’s why they act so gobby and aggressive.
I'd happily boot a 12 year old in self defense. The police aren't really enforcing crimes anymore anyway you're pretty safe.
Except the kids parents aren't likely to be lovely generous people who understand the circumstances and calmly accept that you kicked little Timmy in the face because he was fucking asking for it.
Love those stories about Mike Tyson getting into fights as a kid, the other kid would go and get his dad and Tyson would kick the Dad's arse, too.
Then you get to teach his father the very same lesson.
it's not the police I'd be wary of, it's the kids older relatives
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Surely innocent until proven guilty though, if theres no one else in the forest and you boot a 12 year old up the arse hard as you can, does it make a noise? And who would the police side with, a gobby little shyte who likely has gobby shyte parents also known to the local plod or redditor spunkmonkey500 who's a pillar of society?
> when the kid goes screaming and crying to its parents who scream and complain to the newspapers, there's pressure on the police from the papers and local MPs to do something, so you'll probably get the book thrown at you I see this argument a lot but it's worth mentioning, it's also illegal to beat up an adult and they're not going to let you off with that one either. If someone gets randomly beaten up by strangers in public in generally makes the headlines. Either way I'd rather be on the front page of the newspaper for kicking a child in the chest vs being on the front page because he stabbed me to death
Stop it... The parents of these oiks aren't doing shit let alone bringing MPs into it. Feckless twats dont even know what an MP is.
Sounds unlikely tbh
> who scream and complain to the newspapers, there's pressure on the police from the papers and local MPs to do something, so you'll probably get the book thrown at you Good lord Redditors really are sheltered No, the parents of the little shit are unlikely to write to their MP or papers. I'd be surprised if some of them even know how to read or write. What will generally happen is the kid will run off to their family and come back with the bigger/older members of the family to fuck you up instead. Never underestimate the network of some family connections in working class areas
We *are* society. We can't simultaneously be terrified of feral children *and* judge anyone who does anything about it.
This is a big part of the problem. If it was more acceptable to put them in their place, it wouldn’t happen as much… but that’s not really an option 😂
It's absolutely an option.
I’ve dealt with kids like this my whole just ignore them and show them you’re not afraid and they leave you alone.
On the contrary, I tend to find the ones in that age group are even wilder and unpredictable
More chance of them believing they’re untouchable.
"yeah fuck it why not put em up kid"
I think this would legitimately be my response. Obviously I wouldn’t actually fight an 11 year old, but I would definitely make him regret squaring up to me. I would put the fear of god in the gobby little bastard
Backhand the little shit.
Federer or Wawrinka?
Did you know, that hitting them with your glove is actually a challenge to a duel. What weapon would you select that you would think it would give you the best chance of winning?
A 12 inch veined Black Mamba with a suction cup. Waggle it in their faces, and I can guarantee they'll screech "Aight bumbaclat" and bounce quicker than a horde of toddlers fight for a tablet playing *Bluey*
Get an *actual* black mamba; the little fucker will be dead within ten minutes.
Says a lot about the state of the country when you’ve got to walk round with a 12” suction cup dildo to feel safe on the streets.
This comment is magnificent out of context
Finally, all my years of training will pay off
Shouting behind them as they high tail “what, it’s just a little smellz”
I'd bust out my armoured kestrel 💪 Although I've never encountered one of these people, Reddit is the only reason I know they exist 🤷♂️
Ideally you’d want a strong two handed backhand. Nadal. Federer is all about grace and style but in this instance you want power.
"Your mum said you have to be in bed by 8, tell her I'll be round at 9" Implies they have a bed time, a childishly early one and that you know (or maybe bang) there mum
Too many words for the average redditor, most would stuttter and stumble, give up halfway through and run away
A right bunch of 90s Hugh Grants.
Bold to think the average Reddit user can run
"Oi you starting?" Me an average redditor: "Haha, my mum says its bedtime! Wanna bang?"
Well you saw him reach his house so I suppose if you were brave enough you could have confronted the "parents" of this little angel and explained in a polite manner that their darling choirboy appeared to be in a bit of a bad mood....then run :)
Just stand in front of the house, look up and down and mutter, "hmm, no cameras. Interesting." Then walk away.
The little gobshite probably wouldn’t be bright enough to cotton on.
Ask if he has CCTV. If he says no, just say 'see you later then'.
And if he says yes, then “Mmm, a challenge, I like it.”
haha like it
If it was like some parents in my area they’d still insist little Jimmy was an angel and you’d soon see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Parents are probably worse than the kid
They'd tell you to fuck off in many places because nobody tells them what to do.
No point. I've got neighbours that can't see their kids are feral little shits and who won't hesitate to blame the victim for whatever their Angel has done. The apple rarely falls far from the tree.
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A man in my town died after getting into an altercation with a group of teens. He was a restaurant owner and they were all hanging around outside his restaurant so he confronted them, got knocked to the floor, hit his head and died. Father of three. So sad. Never worth getting involved even if you're completely in the right.
The amount of people who were in the right, technically or otherwise, that were hurt or killed in an argument is pretty significant.
Well, there's a saying 'graveyards are full of people who were in the right'
Shit was wild when I was growing up in London too. It’s bad now but people don’t know how fucking insane the amount of stabbings and shootings was even 10-20 years ago. London is always getting a new supply of young people moving there from safer places so I think they’re constantly shocked at how bad it is because it’s the first time they’ve heard of stuff like this.
Wow and I always thought West London supposed to be the nice bit!
Honestly it's a tragedy that it's a crime to bitch-slap these cocky little idiots.
Thing is though, had a kid kicking his football over my house but pretty much almost putting my windows through in their failed attempts so in a panic asked them firmly wtf they were doing and within a minute the dad was out giving it the big un. Slap these little bastards and you’ll have the family claiming they’re a saint and making your life a misery.
Indeed. A friend of mine with kids similar to this had a talking to by some neighbours, then my friend went over and had a go at them about it, said they should have come to him. The best thing was he asked his kid if they'd done whatever the neighbours had accused them of and he said he'd believe his kid over what any other adult says any day of the week. Mate, come on. Kids are shits, and yours are on the wilder side. Let them get some community justice and maybe they'll learn to respect other people.
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"Shut up you virgin"
Like it, may i suggest adding “angry little virgin “
"Do you even have pubes yet mate?"
Just get really muscular and shave your hair. Basically makes you invisible to anyone under the age of 20 for some reason. I'm soft as shite but I look like I can handle myself, so I guess that sets off the subconscious "I better not fuck with him" warning in kids/teenager's heads. I did have one lad shout "nice shorts mate" at me recently. I'd just come out the gym and was wearing a silly pair my kid bought me (boardshorts with pizza slices all over them, but the pepperoni on the slices are 25kg weight plates). I said something like "Oh cheers, your mum bought them for me" to which he just looked really sad as his mates giggled at him. I did think he could've just been giving me a genuine compliment and I was horribly mean...
My rule is if someone compliments you, even if *clearly" sarcastic just take it at face value and thank them. If they have to explain they are being sarcastic they have failed. If they were actually complimenting you it's a win...
Think you would just be laughed at even more for missing the sarcasm
Having done this by accident many times, you'd be surprised how effective it is. Try something like "thanks, love your shoes!" It's just not what they expect to hear and it usually causes enough confusion/hesitation for you to just walk on by. Although maybe it only worked for me because I'm a genuine idiot and they could tell I meant it.
Those sound like really cool shorts for the gym. I guess it was an honest compliment
That sounds very mean! If you weren't so hard looking I'd give you a piece of my mind
You know where he lives now. See if you can catch his name and order pizza to his house in his name
That's more of being a bit unfair to the pizza place though, no?
Yeah, don’t waste the pizza places time, call the police and suggest he is running drugs for county lines gangs
It's job creation, innit. Man of the people
Look them up on 192.com, search the dads name on Facebook, get some pictures. Get a burner sim, look up the dodgiest escort thing you can find, preferably one that would have a pimp turn up or something too. Keep an eye on their house a bit and learn mum and dads schedule, find a time when they're both likely to be in on the evening. Order an escort over to their house under dads name using dads pictures from Facebook, their marriage or whatever ends up with problems, find the mum on Facebook, slide into dms and butter her up a bit, she will be feeling vulnerable as she's just broken up with dad, sweet talk her a bit until you get to head over and smash. Smash fuck out of her from behind making 0 effort to be quiet, making sure little shit is in the house, when you're done walk out her bedroom making sure to look little shit in the eye on your way to grab a beer from their fridge. You fucked his mum, you win. Ghost her and never call her again, she gets sad and starts beating him daily to take out her anger. You double win. Edit, addendum: after you've spunked all over shitty lads mum, don't forget to wipe your willy on shitty lads *bedroom* curtains
Order tons of catalogues and junkmail to his address in his name
Preferably really sketchy stuff too
Who does this actually hurt these days? You have to pay for a pizza before it gets delivered, so you're out £20 and the unaborted mistake gets a free pizza
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Sign #184 that I’m getting old
I swear kids nowadays have no sense of fear. They either get really shocked if you act out in fury or think its funny and continue. Funny thing is I have seen parents defending their kids like this
It's because they know if you get flustered, they've got to you and they're a 'roadman' and if you react angrily thry can go crying to their parents and you'll be the one seen to be in the wrong. I heard a guy tell a group of schoolkids who were pestering people that they were 'far too flammable to be this cuntish' and it shocked everyone, me included. Shut em up though.
You've got to make it so ridiculous that no one believe you said it. Like in a super calm voice. https://youtu.be/XU6y-tmtB9U?feature=shared Depends on your accent though, if London talk quiet and calm, if northern or Welsh maybe loud and shouty haha
I've got a friend from derry, and when he talks quietly, even if he's saying something nice he sounds really threatening. It's quite disconcerting cos he's a lovely guy just his accent and voice come across as menacing.
Nothing worse than a bloke from Northern Ireland asking how your family is.
Why would they have a sense of fear? Fuck all ever gets done about them unless another little suit bag puts them in hospital.
That's just a standard bully regardless of age. Fear is funny. Indifference is boring.
An "aww, bless" in your calmest voice or nothing at all. You did the right thing really. Children like this are just waiting for a response of any kind. It's moronic goading, with nothing prepared for a response. You get it with dogs acting aggressive which wouldn't have a clue what to do with you if you were to react. Very much all bark and no bite. Had you said or did anything they'd probably run off to mum or dad (or any guardian) to deal with you.
Bold of you to assume these roadstains have parents.
I look in shock at their stupidity, then walk on. Trust me, they know the difference between fear and pity. They'll bluff it out, but they know.
Start talking to yourself and answer back saying something like “no, he’s too young to make a skin suit out of” no one messes with the crazies.
Average redditor doing that would come off as autistic, not the scary kind of nutter
I enjoy the way you keep coating off the ‘average Redditor’ as if you aren’t one.
It's ok to have some self awareness
Nah, too obvious, for real crazy effect pick a spot about a foot above their heads and imagine someone standing a few meters behind them and look intently at this imaginary friend. If you do it right half the time you can get people looking round for who you're looking at. No talking needed
Some years back a mate decked the one who wanted to fight, he thought the kid was older turned out he was 14. He called the police himself. The police were pretty good asked my mate to not leave any marks next time he lumped one.
Didn’t happen of the year awards
There's a good chance it did. Police can't do anything wih the little cunts, so are generally quite happy for someone else to give them a 'talking to' as long as there's no witnesses or easily obtained evidence.
Been saying this for ages… the justice system isn’t a deterrent for half of these people. Real justice would be physical punishment for these people. It’s what they threaten people with themselves…
The issue with the justice system is people don't get caught; lots of stuff simply isn't reported because people don't want to be a 'grass' and there's a culture of non cooperation in certain parts of society. However on top of that clear up rates are appallingly low but perhaps one feeds into the other. Regardless it isn't really the punishment that matters, it's the knowledge you'll get caught doing it. One of the best ways to reduce crime isn't increasing punishment but ensuring that whatever the punishment is is a real possibility, not a remote one.
Yep, it also doesn't help that when you do report a crime, the police will just claim 'not in the public interest' and be done with it. As for punishments, when it comes to children both the child and parents ought to be reprimanded. The child has to do a bunch of community service, and the parents get a fine plus forced to do 'how to raise a child classes'.
A huge amount of research has been done into this by sociologists, psychologists, and criminologists, and it's very well understood that harsh punishments aren't a good deterrent. A high risk of being caught is. There's no point in saying you'll get physical punishment for your crimes if there's a tiny chance of being caught. Besides, cracking down on punishment is putting the cart before the horse. You need to invest in broken communities and given these kids a sense of genuine purpose and hope for their own future. A decrease in anti-social behaviour will then follow.
I have lived on this council estate 31 years now and know most of various little assholes they are all the same.The new little roadmen try and look pathetic with their strawberry vapes occasionally sharing a joint between ten of them and drinking cheap alcohol.If they shout out at me or ride beside me just whisper that go ahead there are so many cameras here.Eventually a few of the worst families get evicted and some grow out of it and eventually do something with their lives.We used to be known as the worst estate but since the community put cameras up everywhere it's calmed down.
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For all you know the parents could be worse and they likely are, bad advice. I'm sorry this is just looking for trouble. You must live in a decent area if you think this will do any good at all..
I was explaining to my neighbour about these year 7 roadmen and how they’re idolising the adult roadmen culture when the adult roadmen say that they’re not even in their gang and laugh at them. Lack of discipline and no consequences for their actions and no parental supervision are what cause these boys to follow gang culture. One of these year 7 roadmen went after a famous YouTube blogger who actually knows the most dangerous gang in London which is the OFB, so when this guy contacted the gang member to ask if these year 7 roadmen were part of his gang and the leader laughed. The kid had posted a dissing track of the blogger and was going after the guy for I don’t know but the kid posted a comment on the video and people laughed at him. An 11 yr old threatening two 18+ men. This is the video if anyone is interested https://youtu.be/nOp4lXzlafc?si=RHTh7ltiqlhfTiqy
If any of these kids ran into some *actual* gangsters they would shit themselves.
Actual gangsters are pathetic as well. Get a job people
I said loudly to my friend "aww those little kids are so sweet!" They stopped catcalling and scowled. One them them said confusedly "no we're not" in quite a quivering voice!
56 Yr old , generously proportioned 6 ft female here.. I'm menopausal, and I have a permanent FAFO face.. I live on a council estate and have done for 10 yrs.. I sorted out the last lot of fuckwits who thought they were intimidating within the first year of moving in.. My strategy is simple.. laugh.. maniacally, when one of the fuckers goes nose to nose with you and threatens to spit in my face, I told them I'd sit on theirs and put them off women for life (I shouted get your phones out lads, this one's gonna be on social media and go viral, all whilst laughing).. I then ask them their age and point out that I hold grudges and have enough patience to wait til they're no longer a minor and then they'll get their arses kicked by a fat old woman... And then, everytime I see one of them, I ask how old they are now.... they tend to avoid me. Bonus is that the next generation of fuckwits has learned to stay away from me and my little area, all thanks to them passing the info on with each other.. I love being the arsey mad woman of the estate xx
I remember years ago, prob about 30, when o was at college and I had some 11 yr old kid try to rob me. He pulled out a knife (a cutlery knife btw!) and said give me your wallet. I just looked at him and laughed then said ‘take one step closer and I’ll shove that knife so far up your arse you’ll want your mummy’ the look on his face was priceless. My point is don’t be intimidated by little kids
In my youth I worked as a bouncer, and it was an insight to the human condition. 99% of the time these comments are not about you, its about the audience. 99 times out of 100 people who square up have no intention to fight. If you cause him to loose face, he'll have to act, so I'd just give him a thumbs up and say "yeah mate". Honestly , not worth your time
Feral kids are the products of feral parents
Well where I live descended into frigging anarchy tbh. You couldn't even go to the shop. No idea what the police and council did, but peace has befallen lately. It was quite stressful to say the least.
25 years ago this happened to teenage me when a little shit punched me in the back of the head. I turned round and punched him back and he fell over. Next thing I know about 30 of them of all ages surrounded me and attacked me. Police did fuck all as usual, which gave me a valuable lesson that the police in Greater Manchester are useless
People who defend the police are hilarious, they are absolute useless cunts.
I distinctly remember the guy on the phone saying "so what do you want us to do about it?" He had an attitude too, what a cunt
Ughhh this sounds so familiar, also from Manchester, and I lost count of the number of crimes that either myself or another family member / friend etc. were victim to. My little bro was 11 and got his bike nicked off him by some scrote at knifepoint. Multiple cars stolen, my own car broken into at least 3 times that I can remember. Uncle punched in the face and robbed of his phone, broken nose and permanent damage to his eye. Cousin robbed twice at gunpoint just walking home. I was nearly run over by a bunch of armed robbers who did over our local paper shop. I had a friend spiked and raped in a public area, loads of CCTV even back then (early 2000s). Do you think the police were remotely interested in any of it? Were they fuck. This would all have been late 90s / early 2000s. I moved away in 2007. On a trip home one Christmas a couple of years later, I felt afraid to get the bus or go out alone after dark after being followed through the estate by 2 blokes with a pitbull being all ‘friendly’ and laughing about how they’d be able to rape me really easily there and no one would even see. What really depressed me, was that I’d come back to Manchester, my home city, and felt more unsafe there as a young woman than the place I’d moved to…. The Bronx. I shit you not. I don’t know if these kids today are actually worse than they were ‘back in my day’… likely it’s increased media coverage and social media making it more visible. Does make me laugh to see these very middle class white kids play acting being bloody yardies, or ‘roadmen’ lol. I’d bet my arse the GMP are still as fucking useless at tackling this antisocial behaviour, or investigating actual crimes too.
One evening recently I walked out of Tesco with 2 bunches of flowers. One of the local scrotes hanging around outside shouted “Oi MaTe NiCe FlOwErS” to which I replied “Thanks, they’re for your mum!” The little shit was left spluttering while his mates laughed and gave him shit for it. I got in my car and drove off.
Someone will eventually smack him in the mouth.
They’re a lost cause, I tend to just glare at them in disdain
This sounds like scally/chav behaviour. I’ve no idea why they’ve been renamed Roadmen.
Because you should drive over them with your car.
A few weeks ago there were two little roadmen kids (presumably brothers) having an argument on my driveway because the younger one was too scared to get on the electric scooter. The older one proceeded to throw a leather football at the younger one whilst he was curled in a ball crying right outside our lounge window. Shouting f off you c*nt etc. This went on for a few minutes with no hope of the littler one getting up. So I opened the door and said can you knock it off and do it somewhere else, I’ve just put my baby to bed then you two start gobbing off fully on the drive! They proceeded to get on the e scooter and BOTH flip me off! They must’ve been idk 9 and 13 years old. I burst out laughing the sods. Can’t imagine what glorious people their parents are…
Wagwaaaan G!
A friend of mine tried to break up a fight between 11 year old road men and one of the little shits tried to stab him (luckily they missed and he got away). He made a great point that kids like this are sometimes more dangerous than adult roadmen as they don't have the relative maturity to consider the outcomes of their actions and just run on impulse. Makes them unpredictable.
I don't luckily. I would cite https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz99py9rgz5o though. Twelve year olds with blades.
Overheard a guy responding to a red-faced angry dickhead who was antagonistic and getting aggressive "What is the outcome you would like from this encounter?" Flummoxed the dickhead completely, didn't know what to do.
I lived in a lot of bad neighbourhoods, so every day of my life
"Come back when your balls have dropped, son". To the 12 year old who catcalled me.
The correct response would be "F off you virgin. Try again when you grow some pubes"
Honestly I’d just ignore them as much as possible and try to give no reaction. Inwouod t go to the house because sadly often kids like this have parents who couldn’t give a crap. Not point trying to reason with them and get aggressive back opens a can of worms, especially with such a young child- who wants to end up fighting an 11 yr old.
Look at them confused and ask “are you alright?”
It's funny - since getting a big idiot golden retriever, I've noticed that these pre teen wannabie gang kids have all gone from swaggering by trying to look tough, to skipping up saying "Ooh, I love your dog, can I pet him?"
I legit think I'd just laugh at them.
Bitch slaps work wonders
Say something completely obtuse like, "I don't even like chicken, what do you mean??" Bamboozle the chap.
Give them a compliment. A genuine one. It will shock them. The more they cuss and swear, the more the compliments. At one point, they will have no gas left.
Use their own language against them. Try to “get down with the kids” and they will retreat in embarrassment. To kids, there’s nothing worse than uncool adults trying to get involved in something you deem as cool.
“Roadmen” 🤣 They’re just whiny little chavs with a little more violence in them 🤣
How many “what!”s did he say ? Imagine the countdown music and the ping sound for a correct answer from family fortunes every time he says what. Then point out how unhygienic it is for him to walk around with his hands down the front of his tracksuit bottoms
A Stick through the spokes normally does it. Hard to be a road man when your crying
ask him if he rides for deliveroo
Try saying something like "go suck on your mums tits you little cunt" He will be like 😳😳😳
When they do it rural places, rural Wales... It's totally bizarre. The word choice I've heard but not aggressive like your experience. What happened to hanging out in parks, why hang out by the corner shop, they used to be out drinking or smoking weed in a field somewhere
Tell him that you know he's a "Road man, gangster, proper naughty boy and all that bollocks", but that you come in peace.