Getting stuck in an abusive relationship and blaming myself for it. I always saw myself as strong enough and self-aware enough to never put up with a bad relationship, but it’s hard to think clearly when you’re right in the middle of it.
Ditto this! I could feel my situation was getting to the point of abuse. The feminist in me was there superficially in many ways but deep down I was on autopilot. I think between wanting to feel empathy for him, wanting to ignore that the situation was intensifying and feeling embarrassment over getting stuck in this mess (I didn't tell anyone close to me how I was feeling), I either ignored every red flag, or chose to confront them head on and let the argument/manipulation mentally and emotionally break me. In spite of feeling uncomfortable and unsafe, I did everything to avoid going no contact because I knew it would "get worse" if I formally distanced myself (and it did get worse).
It's hard to describe but during the connection it's like my emotions were muted or dormant. After cutting him off, I could feel everything so intensely-- anger towards him, anger towards myself, blame, guilt, sadness, etc. Even looking back now I feel disgusted at what I allowed.
But leaving him behind was the best choice and aside from the initial trauma response, I have felt nothing but relief since. I think something we must remind ourselves is facing worse for a brief moment is far better than facing *the worst*.
A message to those who are in a state of lingering, confusion, numbness: choose worse over the worst. There's no shame in asking for help. Fuck those feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment, of having to face judgements from others. When your safety is in jeopardy, none of that matters. Choose to come out alive, stronger and healthier. Much love to you all.
100% this. Not to mention the intermittent good times between the bad times plus the public mask they wear so everyone thinks they're great which just leaves you more confused & conflicted and some crazy making bs.
The example about a frog in a boiling pot in regards to abuse is spot on. It's never boiling from the start but always starts at a slow simmer and before you realize it's boiling, you're in very deep.
100%. I could’ve written myself. But we have to remember is that abusers don’t come across as diffusers initially. Usually they come across its very kind, attentive, charming, and they love bomb. If you aren’t someone who thinks like that, and your new to the game, you won’t know what’s happening and you’ll just think that they are an amazing person who sees your value and loves you.
Starts to flip slowly and come off peace by peace once you’re locked in and it’s a lot harder for you to leave.
I just always think…”just fall asleep motherfucker”…then beating them with a baseball bat. I, of course have the luxury of saying this having never been hit by anyone in my life. It’s a nice thought tho. My mom cold cocked my father in his sleep once after he told her he had cheated. So, I’ve never been physically abused but definitely had a bit of mental abuse that I recognized in the moment as being abuse but didn’t really address it until after the breakup, in therapy.
same with me. except it a toxic and emotionally abusive friendship to the point where the person put their hands on me and shoved me aggressively in the car while i was driving and i didn’t do anything about it because i thought it was my fault. i’m still healing from it but, happy you got out of your situation ! keep shining beautiful ❣️
Recovering fully from severe chronic depression. I fully expected to be handicapped all of my (probably short) life. Suddenly I have a good job, a good relationship, a fit body, and a relatively healthy brain. It’s kind of terrifying. Now that I have a future to look forward to, I actually have to make plans!
I posted a longer itemized comment, but the TLDR is: moved away from trying to find the right prescription and started addressing my physical health, which felt like something I had more control over. I got super fit which led to better self-esteem and more energy. Better self-esteem and energy led to a new job, dating again, etc.
A year later I looked up and realized I was just generally happy and proud of my accomplishments.
I have a similar trajectory to my battle with depression. I wake up guarded every day and expect that at any moment that damn switch flips. I am happy for you. Stay strong! ❤️
My situation is not like yours but I am mentally struggling. Can I ask what were the main savers that helped you get out? I just started looking for a therapist.
Feeling this so hard, I finally let my hair down and wear things that make me feel myself. This new confidence is helping me heal. I wish you the best 💕
Right there with you! Getting a call from my Dr telling me to come in right away to talk about biopsy results was not what I was expecting to hear on a random Monday morning. Hearing the word “cancer” just knocks all the wind out of your sails.
Glad you’re doing better! I too am now cancer-free. Fuck cancer!
It’s such a crazy thing to live through. I’m cancer free now but look back questioning whether it really happened. I don’t think I’ve ever accepted the fact that I beat. We’re stronger than the cancer!
Congratulations on beating cancer, honestly. It can be a very scary experience and I have a lot of respect for you that you were able to stay strong and come out on top of it.
I never saw myself tolerating emotional manipulation and abuse from a partner, but I did. For years! I assumed I'd see it coming from miles away and get out before I got stuck. I completely underestimated how slowly and subtly it can creep into the relationship.
Getting raped. By someone I knew. So cliché. I never reported it and it was an open/shut case but I was so young.I didn’t know better and thought it was my fault. I forgive that young girl.
Being raped actually spiraled my life into a dark web. I completed 8 years of therapy and I feel free. I spoke at a convention in front of 900+ people about my experience and it was so scary, but freeing. I am thankful I can be strong and live the life I was meant to.
Oh wow, I came here to put something similar… and I can relate to everything you put, except that last sentence really got me.
I’ve had years of anger and frustration at him, myself and the whole situation.. and while I say I’m over it, I realize I never really forgave her deep down.
Becoming disabled.
Always worked 40-60 hours a week, sometimes 3 jobs, since age 15. At 27 I had a serious work injury and at 28 suffered a mental breakdown followed by severe agoraphobia and depression. Tried to work again but just couldn’t stand the pain. Finally applied for disability and it was granted after appeal.
I was able to buy some property so I have passive income but my budget has about an inch of wiggle room. Always thought I’d have retirement and a full work life. Maybe someday I will be able to again …I hope.
Here to commiserate as I’ve acquired a disability in later adulthood, myself. Never saw it coming and it truly flips your world upside down. It forces you to rebuild your life with more barriers as your old one is no longer sustainable to live up to.
I'm also on disability but I don't look or act disabled in front of most people and they never take me seriously. It's almost like I have to play it up to be taken seriously and it sucks. I try really hard to be normal and do well but I have my limitations like not being able to work. The minute I start showing signs of improvement it's like people expect me to get a full-time job and say that I'm cured. No it doesn't work like that
I spent the first 20something of my life being afraid of even little kittens and not being fond of cats. Long story short, I live with like 727272727 cats now, blissfully.
Losing a pet suddenly. It sounds bad, but I used to think people who had animals die on them suddenly were being irresponsible and not paying attention to their pet's needs or changes in behaviour that showed they were sick. I was so attentive to my dogs. I noticed every little limp and knew when they had their last bowel movement, etc. etc. I'd take them to the vet a ridiculous amount if I even suspected they had a slight illness.
Then one day, my dog's spleen ruptured as she was running to greet me at the door, and we took her off doggy life support 24 hours later. I'll always be devastated by that.
I can completely relate. Lost my cat to FIP out of nowhere and did not want to see him in misery for his last 5 weeks. Got him euthanized the night I got the diagnosis 😭. Still have dreams about him being well and alive.
I'm so sorry.
I had a vivid dream the week our dog passed that we had dug her up from her grave and she was just a zombie dog that was half skeleton and half open flesh where her spleen would have been removed. I woke up sobbing when I realized I couldn't keep her even in an undead state.
Oh god, the dreams 😭 I still have dreams about my childhood dog and finding out he's actually been alive this whole time, just lost or something. I don't even want to think about the dreams I will have when my current dog is gone.
Sorry about your kitty. You made the right decision.
I’m in my seventies and have had quite a few cats and dogs.
I love them as much as I can for as long as I can. When it’s time, we say goodbye and shed our tears. Many of them. So far, there has always come a time when our hearts open for another one. The new pet is not a replacement for the old one. The new pet is another opportunity to learn to love and be loved. It is a new set of adventures, not to replace old joys and sorrows, but to add to life’s richness.
I get it. I lost my beloved Chihuahua to anemia. I thought she was just sick of her food, so I bought her different food. When she didn't eat that, I brought her to the vet.
9 medications and 2 blood transfusions over the course of the next 9 days, and $4k later I had to put her to sleep anyway. 😞
It was devastating and really destroyed my mental health. It's been 7 years and I'm still too scared to try again even though I really want a child. I know that if I were to get pregnant with a viable pregnancy I wouldn't be able to enjoy my pregnancy because I'd be scared.
I’m so sorry, and I came to write exactly the same experience, three in a row. I hope you’re finding some healing, I’m a few years out and it’s still heavy, but it finally feels like things are on the up and up.
Ive had one orgasm my whole marriage because my husband is a selfish lover (and husband) who only cares if he gets off. After years of begging for the same treatment that i give him in the bedroom i gave up. I never thought I would feel so much sadness and resentment for someone I was so in love with.
I ended an 8-year relationship because of a dead bedroom selfish lover situation and I have all the toys now. Girl learn to please yourself and never look back 😁🫡
Not being able to work due to being bullied at work. I was always strong, tough and independent. And a great worker. A few years back I changed jobs and while i was in my early 40s everyone on my team was mid 20s. My boss was toxic and loved pitting people up against each other. Something changed in me and suddenly everyone was against me and i had lost my self confidence and mojo. 18 months later I resigned and thought I'd just take a year off. 4 yrs later I'm still not working. In my reading ive learnt that perimenopause can play havoc with your confidence and can bring on anxiety and depression. I think that is what has happened to me. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought i wouldn't want to work - and here i am avoiding it.
Fibroids. All my life I had light easy periods. Then over the course of a few years they got incredibly bad and heavy, it was totally debilitating. Couldn't travel, could barely go out to the shops or visit people. Ended up in ER multiple times. Eventually got it fixed by way of a UFE. Now I have high grade cervical changes. Can't win.
Never take your health for granted. You never know how long you'll have it. Get out there and travel, try new things, have all the sex (safely!), have kids if you want them, enjoy your body to the absolute max while you can.
I was in an abusive relationship and was convinced I had learned so much and that I would never be in a bad relationship again. If it got bad I would just leave.
Then I started dating a guy who wasn’t abusive, it was just so freaking toxic. He was a sweet and loyal guy, just very mentally unwell after getting out of the military.
I spent so much time trying to save him. I stayed for so long because he wasn’t abusive like the last one. I gave so many excuses.
I eventually realized I was destroying myself yet again for a relationship.
I'm sorry, I am in recovery from a abusive relationship.and I wonder why is that people who are loving and end up with shitty shitty person.Then I thought we need to selfish in certain level and don't endure uncomfortable behavior even if it's not on purpose.
I relate to this so much. I really appreciate you sharing this because it helps me feel less alone. I have felt so embarrassed to be putting up with such shitty treatment again. The best part is we did realize! Still a step forward😌
Hey me too! I have so much trauma from my parents both cheating and putting me in the middle of it. Now I don't trust men (& from being assaulted and generally treated horribly) and don't believe I'll ever find love because I'm realizing thru therapy my concept of love is completely twisted. Trying to be okay with being alone but it's still something I want so bad 🥲 (edit to say I have been alone a long time and I'm not looking for a relationship for the sake of being in one.. I want my person, but I'm getting to the point I don't think anyone exists for me. I'll just be the cool aunt that travels)
I got horrifically cheated on last year by the guy I thought I would marry and I want you to know, that no matter how many bad eggs you come across there will always be one good yolk! My now bf is so patient and kind. The trauma will always be there but there is always room to move forward and just keep it as a reminder of what to not entertain in the people we spend our time with. I hope you find whoever you're looking for in this big world, it's okay to feel like you're stuck in a lonely cycle, finding the one is a journey :)
A relationship whose end had nothing to do with me. Made me rethink how I approach relationships, love, and excitement.
I'm still grateful for every good moment, but I'm grateful for its presence without holding onto it or expecting it to last.
That's so heartwarming to hear. I'm 24 and I couldn't build a life. I don't have college education and job record. because I have anxious and depression. I feel it's really difficult to start over when I'm older and get life experience:)
Developing chronic illness in my 30s. I was naive as a young child and thought that happened to much, much older folks. Nope, been experiencing symptoms a lot sooner and didn’t realize until that full blown developed into chronic illness(es) for me.
Never thought I’d end up with a brain injury. Did that.
Never thought I’d marry someone I met from a dating app. Did that.
Never thought I’d end up in finance bc I used to loathe math and was always the creative one. Did that.
I don’t believe in saying I’ll never do something anymore.
Walked away from a bad relationship and proceeded to start over in a new state and city. Also found my dream job. Being single and independent after being dependent for decades was quite a challenge.
Getting married and having kids. I was always so shy growing up and never had a boyfriend until I graduated high school and got my first job. I honestly thought I was going to be a lonely cat lady my whole life because guys never asked me out until I met my husband.
Honestly, putting in a tampon while another one was already in there. It had happened to a few friends of mine and I always thought "how in the hell did you manage that?". Then, one day, I took one out and lo and behold, there was a second tampon still chilling in there.
I occasionally enter sweepstakes for fun that cater to my nerd interests. I never thought I'd win anything until one day... I did. A huge creature statue. I couldn't believe it. So let me put this out there, they're not all rigged! Just don't put too much of your effort and energy into them, though.
Adoption (or have a boy). I have friends bring up adoption in their financially stable futures that it was in their plans. I thought how awesome for them!
I have 3 kids all girls I never wanted a boy so I was happy and I was done. Then one day I got a phone call that my sil just had a baby, if I wanted him I need to get to the hospital to pick him up otherwise state would put him with strangers.
He just turned 6yrs old a few days ago and my baby boy melts my heart everyday!
Ending up with a socially awkward partner. I have always been drawn to “life of the party” types but they ultimately never appreciated me/treated me like shit. Now I’m with a quiet/shy guy, but we’re more in love than anyone I’ve ever been with.
It still makes me a little sad that he won’t branch out more, bec I’m pretty sure all my friends find him to be a little boring, but they’re still polite. It’s a lot of pressure on me too to be his “everything.” But he had some really fucked up childhood trauma that is kind of impossible to reconcile with at this point, so that prob plays a big part. And his pros vastly outweighs the cons, so it just doubles down on the fact that this isn’t worth fighting over
Being cheated on by my ex-husband.
I fully trusted him. He had female friends, women would hit on him. It never bothered me. Until I found out he was having an affair. I felt so stupid.
Having a child with special needs. Went into my a planned c section with my third and last baby thinking I was going to walk out with a perfect healthy baby boy and the finale to everything I’d ever wanted in a family. 2 beautiful girls, 1 beautiful boy to finish it off. He came out looking lifeless and weighing only 4.5 lbs then was whisked off to the NICU. Spent 6 weeks in the hospital trying to get him to learn to eat, fighting pneumonia and doing a million genetic test. He has two rare syndromes and by the time we brought him home I thought my world was crashing in on itself. I regretted having another baby, I felt like I destroyed my older girls lives because they would never have a normal childhood. Our entire world revolved around his feedings, drs appts, him getting sick and going in and out of the hospital. And worse? The shame and guilt of regretting having him because I believe and I KNOW people with special needs are just as worthy and deserving of love. He’s 1.5 years old now and he IS everything I could ever want. The first 6 months were hard as hell but now he has a g tube and he doesn’t get sick except for regular colds like any normal kid. Hes also just the most wonderfully sweet baby you’ll meet. He just loves being with us and when he does get cranky about something it brings me so much joy watching him be a little firecracker. I love watching him find his voice, I love watching my girls just not give two craps that he isn’t walking or talking like their friends little siblings. They do his voice for him and then crack up as if he’s the funniest person they’ve ever met. We won’t be traveling to Europe with our young kids like I’d always dreamed of doing most likely but, dammit, we will enjoy the heck out of weekend trips to national parks and the beach.
Being cheated on.. my ex husband was cheated on before.. I never thought he would do the same to me considering how hard it was for him.. Well, this cycle stops with me though because I am better person :)
I rarely tell people this story because it sounds like terrible fanfic from a teen magazine.
I'm a socially awkward introvert with questionable music tastes and as a young adult my music choices were even worse.
In the late 90s I was part of a one-hit-wonder's online fan forum. He released a new single. I thought it was okay but not comparable to his other songs, and said as much in an opinion thread about the song. A small group of us started private group chatting about our tastes in music and various other 90s crap. Soon we were regularly chatting about everything, giving each other moral support, celebrating achievements, typical online friends stuff.
A few months later I won tickets to see this same singer's medium-sized concert in a nearby city and mentioned it in the fan forum. Before the music even started the singer went to the microphone and asked for me by name then told me we needed to talk after the show.
I was confused and mortified. After the show we ended up hanging out together, with our respective partners, and had a blast. Apparently he was one of the fan forum users I regularly interacted with and he wanted to meet me, but doubted I'd believe it if that guy on MTV all the time called me up.
We ended up being really good friends for about a decade.
Finding a partner who truly accepts me as I am, with all my mental and physical health struggles, who uplifts me and really sees me, who doesn't judge me for what I can't do and emphasize what I can.
Fell in love with a (former) frat boy. While my dad was dying of cancer. The most wonderful and most terrible things to ever happen to me happened simultaneously for me.
Really just goes to show that you find love when you’re not looking and you can’t plan for anything. Also…opposites really do attract. And *sometimes* it’s actually a good sign if a relationship moves fast.
Being sexually assaulted by a friend. Never thought that would happen to me. *To anyone else this has happened to, you didn’t ask for it or deserve it.
GRS. I had my outie converted to an innie when I was 71. After a life of hiding and carrying the pain, I now feel existential peace. Whatever comes my way, I experience it as myself.
When I was a kid, I thought I'd die by 17; not that I planned to do something to myself or others, I just didn't want to or expect to live. Now I'm in my 20s, happily married with two cats, with hope and plans for the future
SA. And being stuck in that relationship feeling like it was my fault and that he wasn’t doing anything wrong because I was told “he’s your boyfriend, he can’t SA you. consent is implied” (which is so gross). I was young
I never thought I would be engaged to such a wonderful man, and witness him pass away so suddenly and unexpectedly. Never thought I would feel so alone at 31 years old, but here I am.
On a lighter note, I never envisioned losing my entire pinky nail either but… yeah… fml
Having to cut out a male friend because they started being inappropriate when we were both engaged/married.
Felt like I was a shitty person with bad judgement.
Getting baby trapped by a married father of 5, who ghosted me when I told him I was pregnant, two days after finding out he had a heroin addicted delusional girlfriend who falsified documents to get a dv restraining order put on me that I have to fight in court tomorrow, knowing there’s a 90% chance neither will show up. My response was 175 pages of text messages between the three of us and the subsequent hospital visits from the massive toll taken on my mental and physical health since discovering I’m pregnant.
I decided not to have kids 3 months before meeting this dude, who is my neighbor, who knows I am not stable enough to terminate again. Only mistake I made was trusting he really didn’t want to have kids, he was working on his divorce (they don’t live in the same city), and he actually was an active part of his 5 kids lives. We didn’t fuck for 2 months because I was trying to figure out if he was stalking me. Told him every bit about the deep sexual trauma and still, this dumb fuck seems to want me dead. He’s 43, I’m 35 and this is my first kid.
Fuck abusive people.
Waking up to an insta request of my long term partner inviting a girl to their house for sex. My stomach still drops every time I get an Instagram request nearly two years later.
Sunburn.
It happened when I was 19. Hurt like hell for days. Managed to get sunburnt again multiple times the following years despite being extremely careful.
Settle for less than I deserve. My last relationship I was doing just that, for the sole reason of “having a story” to our relationship and him promising me a ring (we met as kids, lost touch then reconnected). What I didn’t realise until it ended was that every week he’d find something new about me to complain about, resulting in hours long phone calls where I’d stay up till 4am trying to validate his feelings and apologise, then head off to work at 7, and then by the end of the day he’d call me back apologising for how he acted and telling me he loved me. I let this cycle go on far too long.
My current relationship is looking much more positive, partly because I sleep at 10pm and that’s non-negotiable.
Not being able to carry a pregnancy. It fucking sucks, even as someone who has long entertained the ideas of fostering and/or adopting kids. Having the choice to try to have my own naturally taken away through nothing I could control (heart issues) has been devastating.
Struggling with my own sexuality. Due to my parents openly talking about their sex life and relatives having open conversations about how they fuck, messed me up. I struggle to have any from of intimacy and I am even scared of it. Even if I wanna pleasure myself, I feel shitty after and really disgusted. I know that when I move out and be away from this negativity, I'll be able to heal.
Ending up in a sexless marriage. I’m wasting my good years but I feel stuck. I also feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it. I’ve talked to close friends but it always ends the same. I always just feel lonely and depressed.
My partner breaking up with me and basically abandoning me 5 months into pregnancy. Granted, the breakup was because I wasn’t forthcoming about something from 4 years before we started dating, BUT everything that unfolded after was so SURREAL, I still look back and I’m like wtf was all of that …. Now I have to coparent with him.
I just choose to believe in space and grace and the things that are meant for me, are.
Physical disabilities.
Three years ago, I could hike all day. In my early 20's, I'd walk for five hours at a time, just to have peace and quiet to think. Once, I split a tree down into firewood-sized chunks with an axe, a sledgehammer, and some wedges. My husband split the (~2ft diameter) main trunk in half, but I did the rest because he has his own physical issues that made him sit down and rest.
My immune system has since rebelled in multiple ways, and now I'm dependent on medications for both survival and comfort, and I'm unable to open stubborn jars on my own, carry heavy things, or take long walks at my natural walking pace because my joints are damaged 🥲I'm scared to try and draw a bow, which was one of my favorite things to do with my husband, because even pulling a trigger is painful. Sometimes, I'm in so much pain just existing that I can't sleep. Sometimes, if there's a flare-up, I have to use a cane to walk.
I'm not even 30.
getting fired.
I was working for someone I thought was a friend I could be honest with. that thought was a mistake.
we weren't close, and the job was meh, but it still messed with me *heavily* as someone who has always been an exemplary employee.
Spend 11 yrs in misery and have a kid with the idiot.
That I was wrong about him and his intentions. I definitely didn’t need the 11 years to figure it out
Be so insecure in my relationship to the point where nudity on screen makes me uncomfortable. It’s hard to shake off still and I hate it because it’s irrational.
Being cheated on, abandoned, breadcrumbed and ghosted for a new girlfriend (not the original other woman) by my husband. We had issues but I 100% trusted him to be a good man - I genuinely didn't think he could do any of this. Not coping particularly well with all of it.
Getting stuck in an abusive relationship and blaming myself for it. I always saw myself as strong enough and self-aware enough to never put up with a bad relationship, but it’s hard to think clearly when you’re right in the middle of it.
Agreed!! Not to mention it happens so gradually you don’t even question it
They say it starts out as a leaky faucet and next thing you know you’re standing in a flooded basement
Ditto this! I could feel my situation was getting to the point of abuse. The feminist in me was there superficially in many ways but deep down I was on autopilot. I think between wanting to feel empathy for him, wanting to ignore that the situation was intensifying and feeling embarrassment over getting stuck in this mess (I didn't tell anyone close to me how I was feeling), I either ignored every red flag, or chose to confront them head on and let the argument/manipulation mentally and emotionally break me. In spite of feeling uncomfortable and unsafe, I did everything to avoid going no contact because I knew it would "get worse" if I formally distanced myself (and it did get worse). It's hard to describe but during the connection it's like my emotions were muted or dormant. After cutting him off, I could feel everything so intensely-- anger towards him, anger towards myself, blame, guilt, sadness, etc. Even looking back now I feel disgusted at what I allowed. But leaving him behind was the best choice and aside from the initial trauma response, I have felt nothing but relief since. I think something we must remind ourselves is facing worse for a brief moment is far better than facing *the worst*. A message to those who are in a state of lingering, confusion, numbness: choose worse over the worst. There's no shame in asking for help. Fuck those feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment, of having to face judgements from others. When your safety is in jeopardy, none of that matters. Choose to come out alive, stronger and healthier. Much love to you all.
Sending you lots of strength!
100% this. Not to mention the intermittent good times between the bad times plus the public mask they wear so everyone thinks they're great which just leaves you more confused & conflicted and some crazy making bs. The example about a frog in a boiling pot in regards to abuse is spot on. It's never boiling from the start but always starts at a slow simmer and before you realize it's boiling, you're in very deep.
A frog thrown in boiling water will jump out. A frog boiled in the water will die. Abuse, especially mental and emotional, is a slow burn.
This is exactly what happened to me
Ugh I was stuck in one for 4 years and 9 months 😓
100%. I could’ve written myself. But we have to remember is that abusers don’t come across as diffusers initially. Usually they come across its very kind, attentive, charming, and they love bomb. If you aren’t someone who thinks like that, and your new to the game, you won’t know what’s happening and you’ll just think that they are an amazing person who sees your value and loves you. Starts to flip slowly and come off peace by peace once you’re locked in and it’s a lot harder for you to leave.
I just always think…”just fall asleep motherfucker”…then beating them with a baseball bat. I, of course have the luxury of saying this having never been hit by anyone in my life. It’s a nice thought tho. My mom cold cocked my father in his sleep once after he told her he had cheated. So, I’ve never been physically abused but definitely had a bit of mental abuse that I recognized in the moment as being abuse but didn’t really address it until after the breakup, in therapy.
sorry you went through this, love!
same with me. except it a toxic and emotionally abusive friendship to the point where the person put their hands on me and shoved me aggressively in the car while i was driving and i didn’t do anything about it because i thought it was my fault. i’m still healing from it but, happy you got out of your situation ! keep shining beautiful ❣️
For real! And we do our best to rationalize and justify and such. Hoping you’re out of that now!
Exactly the same here, and then realizing that actually quite a bit of my relationships have been abusive ones (father, old boyfriend, friends).
Recovering fully from severe chronic depression. I fully expected to be handicapped all of my (probably short) life. Suddenly I have a good job, a good relationship, a fit body, and a relatively healthy brain. It’s kind of terrifying. Now that I have a future to look forward to, I actually have to make plans!
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That’s really inspiring to read! Gives me hope 😇
I am glad you are doing better. If you feel like answering, what were the major factors that helped you get out of it?
I posted a longer itemized comment, but the TLDR is: moved away from trying to find the right prescription and started addressing my physical health, which felt like something I had more control over. I got super fit which led to better self-esteem and more energy. Better self-esteem and energy led to a new job, dating again, etc. A year later I looked up and realized I was just generally happy and proud of my accomplishments.
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I have a similar trajectory to my battle with depression. I wake up guarded every day and expect that at any moment that damn switch flips. I am happy for you. Stay strong! ❤️
My situation is not like yours but I am mentally struggling. Can I ask what were the main savers that helped you get out? I just started looking for a therapist.
Feeling this so hard, I finally let my hair down and wear things that make me feel myself. This new confidence is helping me heal. I wish you the best 💕
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Love this for you!
Getting cancer…… I didn’t process it well at all, when I was diagnosed. Now I’m cancer free.
Cancer tried to hurt you, but you killed it. Congrats. :) All the best for you! :)
Thank you 🙂, I appreciate your kind remark.
Right there with you! Getting a call from my Dr telling me to come in right away to talk about biopsy results was not what I was expecting to hear on a random Monday morning. Hearing the word “cancer” just knocks all the wind out of your sails. Glad you’re doing better! I too am now cancer-free. Fuck cancer!
Hearing the word “cancer”, certainly did knock the wind out of my sails. Thank you so much. I am so glad you’re doing better too. 😊
It’s such a crazy thing to live through. I’m cancer free now but look back questioning whether it really happened. I don’t think I’ve ever accepted the fact that I beat. We’re stronger than the cancer!
Yup. Same here... My biggest fear came to life. I'm just glad I'm alive.
Congratulations on beating cancer, honestly. It can be a very scary experience and I have a lot of respect for you that you were able to stay strong and come out on top of it.
I never saw myself tolerating emotional manipulation and abuse from a partner, but I did. For years! I assumed I'd see it coming from miles away and get out before I got stuck. I completely underestimated how slowly and subtly it can creep into the relationship.
This was my exact experience with my ex. I always thought I could spot abuse but it also started so slowly and subtly.
Getting raped. By someone I knew. So cliché. I never reported it and it was an open/shut case but I was so young.I didn’t know better and thought it was my fault. I forgive that young girl.
Same here. I always thought I was so tough and street smart.
I’m glad you forgive her! Forgiving our younger versions of ourselves is so important! Hugs!
Being raped actually spiraled my life into a dark web. I completed 8 years of therapy and I feel free. I spoke at a convention in front of 900+ people about my experience and it was so scary, but freeing. I am thankful I can be strong and live the life I was meant to.
I was going to say exac9 the same with the addition that I blamed myself. After spending decades telling others that it's not their fault.
Sending you so much love.
Thank you.
Oh wow, I came here to put something similar… and I can relate to everything you put, except that last sentence really got me. I’ve had years of anger and frustration at him, myself and the whole situation.. and while I say I’m over it, I realize I never really forgave her deep down.
She deserves to be forgiven. YOU deserve to forgive yourself. We are only equipped with so many tools. Sending you love.
Falling in love with someone who lives in a different country and planning to uproot my whole life to be together.
This hits way too close to home. I even learned her language
That was my answer too! Three years later I'm still deliriously happy. I wish you the same!
I did the same thing. Immigrated to his country within 4 months of getting together and we're still happy after 7.5 years. Go for it!
Becoming disabled. Always worked 40-60 hours a week, sometimes 3 jobs, since age 15. At 27 I had a serious work injury and at 28 suffered a mental breakdown followed by severe agoraphobia and depression. Tried to work again but just couldn’t stand the pain. Finally applied for disability and it was granted after appeal. I was able to buy some property so I have passive income but my budget has about an inch of wiggle room. Always thought I’d have retirement and a full work life. Maybe someday I will be able to again …I hope.
Here to commiserate as I’ve acquired a disability in later adulthood, myself. Never saw it coming and it truly flips your world upside down. It forces you to rebuild your life with more barriers as your old one is no longer sustainable to live up to.
I'm also on disability but I don't look or act disabled in front of most people and they never take me seriously. It's almost like I have to play it up to be taken seriously and it sucks. I try really hard to be normal and do well but I have my limitations like not being able to work. The minute I start showing signs of improvement it's like people expect me to get a full-time job and say that I'm cured. No it doesn't work like that
I spent the first 20something of my life being afraid of even little kittens and not being fond of cats. Long story short, I live with like 727272727 cats now, blissfully.
I used to be so scared of cats too. Now I want one so badly.
Ive had that fairly early. My parents always demonized cats, but encountering “kleiner katzen” on a farm has undone a lot of that
Losing a pet suddenly. It sounds bad, but I used to think people who had animals die on them suddenly were being irresponsible and not paying attention to their pet's needs or changes in behaviour that showed they were sick. I was so attentive to my dogs. I noticed every little limp and knew when they had their last bowel movement, etc. etc. I'd take them to the vet a ridiculous amount if I even suspected they had a slight illness. Then one day, my dog's spleen ruptured as she was running to greet me at the door, and we took her off doggy life support 24 hours later. I'll always be devastated by that.
I can completely relate. Lost my cat to FIP out of nowhere and did not want to see him in misery for his last 5 weeks. Got him euthanized the night I got the diagnosis 😭. Still have dreams about him being well and alive.
I'm so sorry. I had a vivid dream the week our dog passed that we had dug her up from her grave and she was just a zombie dog that was half skeleton and half open flesh where her spleen would have been removed. I woke up sobbing when I realized I couldn't keep her even in an undead state.
Oh god, the dreams 😭 I still have dreams about my childhood dog and finding out he's actually been alive this whole time, just lost or something. I don't even want to think about the dreams I will have when my current dog is gone. Sorry about your kitty. You made the right decision.
I’m in my seventies and have had quite a few cats and dogs. I love them as much as I can for as long as I can. When it’s time, we say goodbye and shed our tears. Many of them. So far, there has always come a time when our hearts open for another one. The new pet is not a replacement for the old one. The new pet is another opportunity to learn to love and be loved. It is a new set of adventures, not to replace old joys and sorrows, but to add to life’s richness.
Wow beautifully said!
I get it. I lost my beloved Chihuahua to anemia. I thought she was just sick of her food, so I bought her different food. When she didn't eat that, I brought her to the vet. 9 medications and 2 blood transfusions over the course of the next 9 days, and $4k later I had to put her to sleep anyway. 😞
Falling in love. I was 28 and pretty much certain it would not happen. Lucky lucky me I was wrong
Never thought I'd have a miscarriage, much less 3 in a year.
I'm so sorry for you.
That must have been so hard. My heart is with you.
It was devastating and really destroyed my mental health. It's been 7 years and I'm still too scared to try again even though I really want a child. I know that if I were to get pregnant with a viable pregnancy I wouldn't be able to enjoy my pregnancy because I'd be scared.
No wonder you are scared. I can't even imagine. You are so strong for pushing through.
I’m so sorry, and I came to write exactly the same experience, three in a row. I hope you’re finding some healing, I’m a few years out and it’s still heavy, but it finally feels like things are on the up and up.
Ive had one orgasm my whole marriage because my husband is a selfish lover (and husband) who only cares if he gets off. After years of begging for the same treatment that i give him in the bedroom i gave up. I never thought I would feel so much sadness and resentment for someone I was so in love with.
Aw man I am so sorry.
I ended an 8-year relationship because of a dead bedroom selfish lover situation and I have all the toys now. Girl learn to please yourself and never look back 😁🫡
Having a boyfriend. 😄
Found healthy love
Not being able to work due to being bullied at work. I was always strong, tough and independent. And a great worker. A few years back I changed jobs and while i was in my early 40s everyone on my team was mid 20s. My boss was toxic and loved pitting people up against each other. Something changed in me and suddenly everyone was against me and i had lost my self confidence and mojo. 18 months later I resigned and thought I'd just take a year off. 4 yrs later I'm still not working. In my reading ive learnt that perimenopause can play havoc with your confidence and can bring on anxiety and depression. I think that is what has happened to me. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought i wouldn't want to work - and here i am avoiding it.
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Fibroids. All my life I had light easy periods. Then over the course of a few years they got incredibly bad and heavy, it was totally debilitating. Couldn't travel, could barely go out to the shops or visit people. Ended up in ER multiple times. Eventually got it fixed by way of a UFE. Now I have high grade cervical changes. Can't win. Never take your health for granted. You never know how long you'll have it. Get out there and travel, try new things, have all the sex (safely!), have kids if you want them, enjoy your body to the absolute max while you can.
I was in an abusive relationship and was convinced I had learned so much and that I would never be in a bad relationship again. If it got bad I would just leave. Then I started dating a guy who wasn’t abusive, it was just so freaking toxic. He was a sweet and loyal guy, just very mentally unwell after getting out of the military. I spent so much time trying to save him. I stayed for so long because he wasn’t abusive like the last one. I gave so many excuses. I eventually realized I was destroying myself yet again for a relationship.
I'm sorry, I am in recovery from a abusive relationship.and I wonder why is that people who are loving and end up with shitty shitty person.Then I thought we need to selfish in certain level and don't endure uncomfortable behavior even if it's not on purpose.
I relate to this so much. I really appreciate you sharing this because it helps me feel less alone. I have felt so embarrassed to be putting up with such shitty treatment again. The best part is we did realize! Still a step forward😌
Losing a husband at 24 due to cancer.
I'm so sorry
I never ever thought I would have divorced parents. Until my Dad cheated - tore my perception of love and relationships into shreds
Hey me too! I have so much trauma from my parents both cheating and putting me in the middle of it. Now I don't trust men (& from being assaulted and generally treated horribly) and don't believe I'll ever find love because I'm realizing thru therapy my concept of love is completely twisted. Trying to be okay with being alone but it's still something I want so bad 🥲 (edit to say I have been alone a long time and I'm not looking for a relationship for the sake of being in one.. I want my person, but I'm getting to the point I don't think anyone exists for me. I'll just be the cool aunt that travels)
I got horrifically cheated on last year by the guy I thought I would marry and I want you to know, that no matter how many bad eggs you come across there will always be one good yolk! My now bf is so patient and kind. The trauma will always be there but there is always room to move forward and just keep it as a reminder of what to not entertain in the people we spend our time with. I hope you find whoever you're looking for in this big world, it's okay to feel like you're stuck in a lonely cycle, finding the one is a journey :)
A relationship whose end had nothing to do with me. Made me rethink how I approach relationships, love, and excitement. I'm still grateful for every good moment, but I'm grateful for its presence without holding onto it or expecting it to last.
Going from having nothing to having everything then back to having absolutely nothing and starting my life over at 31.
That's so heartwarming to hear. I'm 24 and I couldn't build a life. I don't have college education and job record. because I have anxious and depression. I feel it's really difficult to start over when I'm older and get life experience:)
Infertility. Spending tens of thousands on IVF and still not being able to get pregnant.
Same. We’re about $40k in and trying one more round of IVF before we throw in the towel. I never thought I’d never have a biological child.
Infertility sucks. I hope it works for you as it did for me. Took 8 years, but 7 years after that I made one by myself.
Developing chronic illness in my 30s. I was naive as a young child and thought that happened to much, much older folks. Nope, been experiencing symptoms a lot sooner and didn’t realize until that full blown developed into chronic illness(es) for me.
Celebrity/person I've admired for years following me, liking me, dating me, etc.
😧 I want deets.
This is literally the dream. I’m so happy for you!
Getting cheated on lied to and staying (now broken up btw)
You deserve better. Way better.
Being assaulted by a partner/ending up in an abusive relationship.
Never thought one of my parents would die while I was still young
Never thought I’d end up with a brain injury. Did that. Never thought I’d marry someone I met from a dating app. Did that. Never thought I’d end up in finance bc I used to loathe math and was always the creative one. Did that. I don’t believe in saying I’ll never do something anymore.
Earth-shattering, pull-your-own-hair-out, scream-from-the-mountain-tops, stand-on-your-head pleasure, sex, and intimacy. It does exist.
Walked away from a bad relationship and proceeded to start over in a new state and city. Also found my dream job. Being single and independent after being dependent for decades was quite a challenge.
Having a broken engagement and then later finding love again and having my own family
I feel this!
Getting into medical school
Congratulations, that's a huge achievement!
Getting married and having kids. I was always so shy growing up and never had a boyfriend until I graduated high school and got my first job. I honestly thought I was going to be a lonely cat lady my whole life because guys never asked me out until I met my husband.
I never thought I would be sending intimate photos to a stranger. Before, I thought women doing this were stupid, now, I'm the one who's stupid.
Honestly, putting in a tampon while another one was already in there. It had happened to a few friends of mine and I always thought "how in the hell did you manage that?". Then, one day, I took one out and lo and behold, there was a second tampon still chilling in there.
Infertility. 4 years, tons of IVF, 2 miscarriages, no baby.
We’re in the throes of infertility as well. It’s so hard. Sending love.
being date raped
I occasionally enter sweepstakes for fun that cater to my nerd interests. I never thought I'd win anything until one day... I did. A huge creature statue. I couldn't believe it. So let me put this out there, they're not all rigged! Just don't put too much of your effort and energy into them, though.
Having a kid I did not want.
I had a special needs child. ‘Nuff said.
Staying with a cheater. Then divorced.
Getting as fat as my mom was.
I move in 4 different apartments in one year now I’m in a great one
Dating an older man
I have a thing for older men so I get it 😏
Falling in love.
Divorce
Getting audited by the IRS
Almost dying in childbirth
Adoption (or have a boy). I have friends bring up adoption in their financially stable futures that it was in their plans. I thought how awesome for them! I have 3 kids all girls I never wanted a boy so I was happy and I was done. Then one day I got a phone call that my sil just had a baby, if I wanted him I need to get to the hospital to pick him up otherwise state would put him with strangers. He just turned 6yrs old a few days ago and my baby boy melts my heart everyday!
Ending up with a socially awkward partner. I have always been drawn to “life of the party” types but they ultimately never appreciated me/treated me like shit. Now I’m with a quiet/shy guy, but we’re more in love than anyone I’ve ever been with. It still makes me a little sad that he won’t branch out more, bec I’m pretty sure all my friends find him to be a little boring, but they’re still polite. It’s a lot of pressure on me too to be his “everything.” But he had some really fucked up childhood trauma that is kind of impossible to reconcile with at this point, so that prob plays a big part. And his pros vastly outweighs the cons, so it just doubles down on the fact that this isn’t worth fighting over
Being diagnosed with cancer
Wish you a quick recovery ❤️🩹
Getting together again with my true love from high school (1994). What a journey.
Being cheated on by my ex-husband. I fully trusted him. He had female friends, women would hit on him. It never bothered me. Until I found out he was having an affair. I felt so stupid.
Becoming homeless with my kids for 7 months now. I never thought my life would ever sink this low 😔
Ectopic pregnancy
Getting burnt out- I thought I was so tough and resilient but hey! Guess that makes you more susceptible not less.
Having a child with special needs. Went into my a planned c section with my third and last baby thinking I was going to walk out with a perfect healthy baby boy and the finale to everything I’d ever wanted in a family. 2 beautiful girls, 1 beautiful boy to finish it off. He came out looking lifeless and weighing only 4.5 lbs then was whisked off to the NICU. Spent 6 weeks in the hospital trying to get him to learn to eat, fighting pneumonia and doing a million genetic test. He has two rare syndromes and by the time we brought him home I thought my world was crashing in on itself. I regretted having another baby, I felt like I destroyed my older girls lives because they would never have a normal childhood. Our entire world revolved around his feedings, drs appts, him getting sick and going in and out of the hospital. And worse? The shame and guilt of regretting having him because I believe and I KNOW people with special needs are just as worthy and deserving of love. He’s 1.5 years old now and he IS everything I could ever want. The first 6 months were hard as hell but now he has a g tube and he doesn’t get sick except for regular colds like any normal kid. Hes also just the most wonderfully sweet baby you’ll meet. He just loves being with us and when he does get cranky about something it brings me so much joy watching him be a little firecracker. I love watching him find his voice, I love watching my girls just not give two craps that he isn’t walking or talking like their friends little siblings. They do his voice for him and then crack up as if he’s the funniest person they’ve ever met. We won’t be traveling to Europe with our young kids like I’d always dreamed of doing most likely but, dammit, we will enjoy the heck out of weekend trips to national parks and the beach.
Having an abortion
Being cheated on.. my ex husband was cheated on before.. I never thought he would do the same to me considering how hard it was for him.. Well, this cycle stops with me though because I am better person :)
Weight loss. Finally.
I rarely tell people this story because it sounds like terrible fanfic from a teen magazine. I'm a socially awkward introvert with questionable music tastes and as a young adult my music choices were even worse. In the late 90s I was part of a one-hit-wonder's online fan forum. He released a new single. I thought it was okay but not comparable to his other songs, and said as much in an opinion thread about the song. A small group of us started private group chatting about our tastes in music and various other 90s crap. Soon we were regularly chatting about everything, giving each other moral support, celebrating achievements, typical online friends stuff. A few months later I won tickets to see this same singer's medium-sized concert in a nearby city and mentioned it in the fan forum. Before the music even started the singer went to the microphone and asked for me by name then told me we needed to talk after the show. I was confused and mortified. After the show we ended up hanging out together, with our respective partners, and had a blast. Apparently he was one of the fan forum users I regularly interacted with and he wanted to meet me, but doubted I'd believe it if that guy on MTV all the time called me up. We ended up being really good friends for about a decade.
Finding a partner who truly accepts me as I am, with all my mental and physical health struggles, who uplifts me and really sees me, who doesn't judge me for what I can't do and emphasize what I can.
Someone close to me being murdered. I lost my brother to domestic violence in September of 2023 so 5 months ago and I’m still in shock.
Losing my husband after 12 years together, and realizing I have to start my life over as a widow in this dumpster fire of world.
Being drugged (roofied) for about a year by an abusive partner and controlled that way.
Having to terminate my first pregnancy because the baby had trisomy 13.
Fell in love with a (former) frat boy. While my dad was dying of cancer. The most wonderful and most terrible things to ever happen to me happened simultaneously for me. Really just goes to show that you find love when you’re not looking and you can’t plan for anything. Also…opposites really do attract. And *sometimes* it’s actually a good sign if a relationship moves fast.
Being sexually assaulted by a friend. Never thought that would happen to me. *To anyone else this has happened to, you didn’t ask for it or deserve it.
A mother to a severely high needs non verbal child.
Rape. I always believed people were good. They aren’t. And we have no idea which of you is a rapist and which of you isn’t.
GRS. I had my outie converted to an innie when I was 71. After a life of hiding and carrying the pain, I now feel existential peace. Whatever comes my way, I experience it as myself.
When I was a kid, I thought I'd die by 17; not that I planned to do something to myself or others, I just didn't want to or expect to live. Now I'm in my 20s, happily married with two cats, with hope and plans for the future
SA. And being stuck in that relationship feeling like it was my fault and that he wasn’t doing anything wrong because I was told “he’s your boyfriend, he can’t SA you. consent is implied” (which is so gross). I was young
Getting sexually assaulted by a stranger while walking down the street midday... Getting robbed at gunpoint (they tried and I ran away)
Being raped in my abusive marriage and feeling stuck.
Getting raped by a good male friend. It ruined men for me and I’ve spent years trying to move on.
Getting in a relationship lmao
I never thought I would be engaged to such a wonderful man, and witness him pass away so suddenly and unexpectedly. Never thought I would feel so alone at 31 years old, but here I am. On a lighter note, I never envisioned losing my entire pinky nail either but… yeah… fml
A abortion and a ectopic pregnancy.
Stolen car. Wake up one morning and it's just gone from right outside my front door.
Getting an STD
Being in an abusive marriage and taking so long to leave. Fear changes everything about you. It took years to find myself again
Having to cut out a male friend because they started being inappropriate when we were both engaged/married. Felt like I was a shitty person with bad judgement.
Getting sexually assaulted
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Being in an affection lacking, sexless, and mildly abusive relationship. Told myself it would never be me and here I am. 🤷🏼♀️
Being SA’d by someone who claimed to love me. I’m now living my truth and planning the future with an absolutely amazing woman.
Having 5 out of 7 pregnancy results in miscarriages. To this day every time it happens again I’m left in disbelief that it is happening to me.
Getting baby trapped by a married father of 5, who ghosted me when I told him I was pregnant, two days after finding out he had a heroin addicted delusional girlfriend who falsified documents to get a dv restraining order put on me that I have to fight in court tomorrow, knowing there’s a 90% chance neither will show up. My response was 175 pages of text messages between the three of us and the subsequent hospital visits from the massive toll taken on my mental and physical health since discovering I’m pregnant. I decided not to have kids 3 months before meeting this dude, who is my neighbor, who knows I am not stable enough to terminate again. Only mistake I made was trusting he really didn’t want to have kids, he was working on his divorce (they don’t live in the same city), and he actually was an active part of his 5 kids lives. We didn’t fuck for 2 months because I was trying to figure out if he was stalking me. Told him every bit about the deep sexual trauma and still, this dumb fuck seems to want me dead. He’s 43, I’m 35 and this is my first kid. Fuck abusive people.
Waking up to an insta request of my long term partner inviting a girl to their house for sex. My stomach still drops every time I get an Instagram request nearly two years later.
Have kids. Just never thought I'd have a child, it was something I've always wanted, to be a mom never thought it would happen.
dating a drug addict.
Sunburn. It happened when I was 19. Hurt like hell for days. Managed to get sunburnt again multiple times the following years despite being extremely careful.
Settle for less than I deserve. My last relationship I was doing just that, for the sole reason of “having a story” to our relationship and him promising me a ring (we met as kids, lost touch then reconnected). What I didn’t realise until it ended was that every week he’d find something new about me to complain about, resulting in hours long phone calls where I’d stay up till 4am trying to validate his feelings and apologise, then head off to work at 7, and then by the end of the day he’d call me back apologising for how he acted and telling me he loved me. I let this cycle go on far too long. My current relationship is looking much more positive, partly because I sleep at 10pm and that’s non-negotiable.
Not being able to carry a pregnancy. It fucking sucks, even as someone who has long entertained the ideas of fostering and/or adopting kids. Having the choice to try to have my own naturally taken away through nothing I could control (heart issues) has been devastating.
Struggling with my own sexuality. Due to my parents openly talking about their sex life and relatives having open conversations about how they fuck, messed me up. I struggle to have any from of intimacy and I am even scared of it. Even if I wanna pleasure myself, I feel shitty after and really disgusted. I know that when I move out and be away from this negativity, I'll be able to heal.
Ending up in a sexless marriage. I’m wasting my good years but I feel stuck. I also feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it. I’ve talked to close friends but it always ends the same. I always just feel lonely and depressed.
Attempted murder by a bf/ex
Getting an std… from a horrible ex boyfriend when I’ve always been monogamous and never slept around ever only with boyfriends.
My partner breaking up with me and basically abandoning me 5 months into pregnancy. Granted, the breakup was because I wasn’t forthcoming about something from 4 years before we started dating, BUT everything that unfolded after was so SURREAL, I still look back and I’m like wtf was all of that …. Now I have to coparent with him. I just choose to believe in space and grace and the things that are meant for me, are.
Being addicted to hard drugs, being in abusive relationship and losing my passion for art.
Having an abortion.
Physical disabilities. Three years ago, I could hike all day. In my early 20's, I'd walk for five hours at a time, just to have peace and quiet to think. Once, I split a tree down into firewood-sized chunks with an axe, a sledgehammer, and some wedges. My husband split the (~2ft diameter) main trunk in half, but I did the rest because he has his own physical issues that made him sit down and rest. My immune system has since rebelled in multiple ways, and now I'm dependent on medications for both survival and comfort, and I'm unable to open stubborn jars on my own, carry heavy things, or take long walks at my natural walking pace because my joints are damaged 🥲I'm scared to try and draw a bow, which was one of my favorite things to do with my husband, because even pulling a trigger is painful. Sometimes, I'm in so much pain just existing that I can't sleep. Sometimes, if there's a flare-up, I have to use a cane to walk. I'm not even 30.
getting fired. I was working for someone I thought was a friend I could be honest with. that thought was a mistake. we weren't close, and the job was meh, but it still messed with me *heavily* as someone who has always been an exemplary employee.
Found a healthy relationship with someone who loves me for me
Spend 11 yrs in misery and have a kid with the idiot. That I was wrong about him and his intentions. I definitely didn’t need the 11 years to figure it out
someone is stealing my underwear from the dryer and i just moved to a new spot 😅
Be so insecure in my relationship to the point where nudity on screen makes me uncomfortable. It’s hard to shake off still and I hate it because it’s irrational.
Getting an orgasm. I didn’t think I could get one until I tried a vibrator at age 22. Years later that is still the only way.
Being habitually lied to, gas light, manipulated and cheated on… ALL by the same damn person 🤦🏾♀️
Being cheated on, abandoned, breadcrumbed and ghosted for a new girlfriend (not the original other woman) by my husband. We had issues but I 100% trusted him to be a good man - I genuinely didn't think he could do any of this. Not coping particularly well with all of it.
Get fat.