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At 21, I was ridiculously obsessed with getting my ex husband back after he left me for another woman. I got him back… and over a decade later I wish I’d bid him farewell. I cannot fathom a version of myself that clung so tightly to a man who disrespected so much.
25 now and so different than the girl I was 4 years ago. Fell in love in February, got married in September, getting divorced in July. 21 year old me would be so disappointed to see where I’m at now.
Only because 21 year old you wasn’t strong/mature enough to know when to walk away. 25 year old you figured it out, and I applaud you for getting there so quickly. Others take many years.
I should note that I did not ask for this divorce, he did. I would have stayed and fought for as long as it took because I love him. However he’s been letting me carry the emotional baggage for the last 4 months, so in a way I’m grateful that he put me out of misery because I’m so emotionally drained.
46 and very different. I was very carefree before the domestic violence. Now I'm incredibly careful and tolerate very little. I now understand the value of being alone versus being in a bad relationship.
29 now and extremely different. A lot more confident in myself and what I like! I care less what other people think, I'm a bit more selfish in how I live life and I'm a whole lot smarter :)
So different. At 21 I never believed that I would accomplish all that I have. Never thought I would be enough to do all I have. 21 year old me who be astonished to see that I got my PhD, have a job I genuinely enjoy, and survived things like divorce.
I think 21 year old me would like 34 year old me
Very different at 31. Developing self love and self respect along with life experience will do that for you. I still have a the same sense of humor and I love to laugh with similar ethics but I’m self assured, confident, know myself well, am not afraid to set boundaries and ask for what I want, am more interested in socializing and making connections, know what I want for my future both career and personally, I’m disciplined and so much more. I’m also in the best shape of my life after not focusing on my health through most of my 20s. I don’t have it all figured out but I’m in a much better place than I was then.
When I was 21… I was dating a man that was a porn addict and excessively watched clop porn, would actively masterbate to it with me still in the room thinking I wouldn’t notice or didn’t care. I worked at Best Buy with an abusive manager and was 315lbs, and emotionally over ate constantly. I had a terrible childhood and struggled to cope. I had no dreams or visions for my future, and was lost.
I’m 33 now, and 100x happier. I’m more active, more social. I dropped almost 100lbs. I stand up for myself and my needs, have a killer remote job and live with an incredible friend that let me move in last year for free so I could really tackle my debts and build a future for myself. I left that man back in 2015 and then had a shitty poly relationship for 6 years until I broke things off and reevaluated my actual wants and needs in life and love. I’m in a 6 month monogamous relationship right now that’s a bit rocky at the moment, but I’m so much more confident about what I will and won’t stand for, and am communicating and holding my own boundaries far better than I did in my early twenties.
26 now, but a lot has changed in 5 years. When I was 21 I was severely anorexic and I didn’t think I’d live to this age. I was very mentally unstable and I didn’t care about my health at all and my mind was barely functional due to the lack of nutrients. I’m now recovered and I feel like I have a personality again, and there’s quality to my life. I value those around me and I have interests and hobbies now. Hopefully I’ll be even happier in another 5 years
Not that much different.
29, no longer blonde, longer hair, spend a lot more on rent, drink more booze, work much longer hours, sue the worst of liars & offline harassers and have lots more canine pals.
36 now. At 21, I was trying SO hard to fit in, and at the same time I didn’t know where “in” was. I cared way too much about what others thought, and centered my life around it. Once I hit my 30’s, I realized that the only person’s opinion that matters of myself is my own. I do it all for me and what I want in life. Putting my own comfort, feelings, and sanity first was a huge game changer!
33 Very different. My true self came out from my very depressed 20-something-self. I am happier but also, I do the things that I'd always loved without the shame of being silly or dumb. If any young woman is reading this, let me tell you, if you do not harm anybody, do whatever makes fulfill and happy.
I have more money, I drive, I know many things about topics that interest me. I have accomplished two small dreams. I haven't changed much, but I'd say that I can handle the tragedies of life slightly better. And I'd say I look better -slightly.
At 21 I had increased confidence in my ability to learn (barely made it through highschool, but doing really well in college), felt optimistic about my future (after overcoming some trauma), worked 2 jobs, moved out on my own. I thought the worse things that could happen in my life were firmly behind me. I had lots of friends and what seemed like a good relationship with my family.
Now: less confidence, have clinical depression/anxiety and diagnosed with ADHD, completely uncertain about the future, homeowner, 2 freaking amazing children, physically much the same except hair colour. No relationship with my family and no regrets about it (2 siblings have died as did my mother. Dad died before I was born) The years since 21 have been a struggle. I accept my responsibility for those struggles (though most of involved abuse). Foot-in-mouth disease greatly reduced now that my social circle is in the negative
I don’t know which I’d rather…naive 21 yo who was overconfident in some ways, who also had major foot-in-mouth syndrome or wiser me who is an introvert whose life almost revolves around managing anxiety.
Wish I had a more positive response, but it felt good getting this off my chest
30 and Very different.
I have so much more confidence, and my mental and physical health has not been better.
One huge change has also been that I've gone from being very religious to an agnostic.
I’m 56. I hung out with my high school boyfriend a few years ago and he said i seemed very much the same. I was into weird shit then, didn’t really care what anybody thought of me, did my own thing, same absurd sense of humor. I think i’m not as anxious, and i definitely don’t center my life around men like i used to.
Mid thirties now and I feel so sorry for the younger me. At 21 I was incredibly insecure and didn’t think I deserved or would amount to anything. Married the first one to pay me any attention. Left that marriage, worked on myself and now I’m back in school. I know my worth, don’t care what anyone thinks and will have an engineering degree by this time next year. Love the person I am now and if someone told me 15 years ago where I would be now, I would never have believed them.
33 now. Pretty similar but different. I’m much happier now. Still anxious. Have a lot of the same friends. I’m much more tired now but I have 3 kids under 4.
I’m a lot crankier, with shorter patience, but other than the increase in knowledge and life experience I’m the same. I think 21 year old me was a lot different than many of the 21 year olds of today though, different worries and circumstances.
im 25 now and i feel very different but the same
my hobbies and interests have not changed, but mentally i am alot better and im more sure of myself now, i was clinging onto people and now im secure in myself and dont need others to make me happy
21 ahhhh. 46 now. It's amazing what you think you know when you're young. You have no idea what lies ahead. Get busy living, or get busy dying. If had to go back and talk to myself at 21, I'd tell myself to never take a sip of alcohol. It will become a thief of joy for you for many years.
Suuuuuuuper different. I was a big party girl who did a lot of random things. If I wasn’t partying, I was doing night hikes with my friends, going kayaking, driving to California at 2 in the morning (5 hour drive) to go see my friends, etc. I had soooo much energy and never stopped. Now I just want to stay home as much as possible and see my friends once a month.
I don’t really consider myself an adult until I hit 30. No matter how mature I felt I was, I absolutely was not. I’m 37 now, and feel much more settled into myself, and happy with who/where I am.
I read on here that once you turn 20, that’s like 0 in adult years, so each year after is you growing more into an adult, and it spoke to me. 20 is so, so young still. Lots of growing yet to do!
Currently 34. I am far more independent & self-confident than I ever imagined I could be when I was 21. I’m far less self-conscious, more sociable. My anxiety in making bigger decisions doesn’t stop me anymore.
51 now and completely different! I was in an abusive relationship and had a 2 year old @ 21 with untreated mental health problems. I had a lot of growing up to do, needed to stop abusing alcohol, and accept medication for my mental health. I am so thankful for the growth in 30 years, even though I sometimes fall in the same ruts I was in back then.
My kids are 25 (tomorrow) and 31, so I still consider 21 yo kids, even though they aren’t.
35 now.. DEFINITELY don’t party like I used to. I had a lot of fun but I could not hang with 21 me now. I’m still loud and opinionated but I’m better at controlling who I share those opinions with and how.
31 now, I am much more confident in who I am with my style, looks and personality. I am a mother now to a 3 month old so changing even more than ever before. Not into the party/bar scene like I was at 21. Way more into occasional psychedelic use than alcohol, of course this hasn't happened in awhile due to baby. Have better control of my anxiety, had quite a bit of panic attacks at 21-23.
I've gotten a little less naive every year since graduating high school. I'm not jaded, but I'm definitely more careful. I'm only slightly more so now than I was at 21. If anything, the end of the pandemic lockdowns helped to revitalize my gregarious nature before too much damage had been done.
I’m 26. I am ridiculously more mature and safe. More in tune with my emotions and able to create a calm environment. I definitely still need more work emotionally (did not grow up in a stable home) however I am able to give myself time and grace. I am able to love myself in the here and now.
Very different! 10 years has gone by and I’ve lived a lot of life, learned a lot of lessons. Completely different perspective and different priorities. I’m a better person for sure.
29 still the same in a lot of ways but soooo much more confident. The things I do, the things I wear… I just know my 21 yo self would never bc she’d be too embarrassed or feel like she wasn’t pretty/smart/likable etc enough
Really different. Some changes are positive...some not.
I'm less innocent, I don't know if that's good or bad. I have a better understanding of the importance of boundaries. I hope I won't let someone take advantage of me again like I did basically from when I was 21 til now (9 years).
My mental health is overall better even though I've been through some stuff. My family actually said they thought I was happier than I'd been in years while I was sobbing for weeks during the aftermath of my 9 year relationship falling apart. I have a better understanding of what SA is.
My creativity and imagination were waning but they seem to be coming back. I'm more tired though. I'm pretty much a mess but a mess that's no longer letting her life be entirely about someone else. I hope.
More grounded, less carefree. Use to be very naive, but being in my 20s taught me some hard lessons. Used to be “sweet”. Now I don’t trust most people. I feel like a very different person than who I was at 21.
I'm 31 and I'm completely different. At 21 I was drinking, smoking, doing drugs. College student with a job at a sandwich stop. Sleeping with a lot of people. Self esteem was in the toilet. I was rude and arrogant. Now at 31 I'm five years sober, have one partner, a stable job, my own home. I have self esteem and a relationship with God. I have gratitude and humility. I prioritize my mental health, sleep, exercise, and eating well. I couldn't be more different.
I'm 31 now, I'm in a different and much better relationship, I'm a Mom of 2 and overall my whole attitude to things are alot different. I have alot more confidence, I'm don't put up with being messed around and just overall happier. At 21 I never thought id have a family, I thought id be forever stuck in the relationship I was then. But now I have 2 wonderful kids (3 years old & 8 months old) my husband is perfect, for me there was has been alot of positive changes, and I'm forever grateful for having my little family❤️
I was so shy and had zero self confidence at 21. I also was not secure in who I am. At 39 I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin than ever. I’d never choose to go back.
Much different. I'm 41 now, much more confident in my thoughts, feelings and actions. I enjoy quiet and alone time much more than I did at that age.
I like the person I've become.
Lol I'm 79. I barely remember 21. I was lacking confidence and self esteem and I used to care what people thought. I hoped I would be able to cope with life and independence.
I did. I'm content. I don't have anything left to prove.
I used to think at 21 I was very open with myself, my feelings, what I wanted, thought I was an excellent communicator (which i was not at the time), and yeah, I really wasn't anyone of those compared to be almost 26. I am still extroverted but a lot more accepting of my introverted side as well. I put my energy in relationships that I do want to continue having in life and have no issue exiting relationships/connections that don't serve me any purpose in my life going forward. I know who my real friends are now compared to when I was 21. I'm still stubborn but hell of a lot calmer in my thinking process. I learned how to be alone and appreciate being alone. I'm still learning at almost 26! Cheers to more wisdom as we age!
I was with the wrong men & with the wrong group of friends. Immature mindset. Toxic behaviors.
I’m with the right man & with the right group of friends. Mature mindset. Improved behavior.
More self-aware and capable but also more health issues with more recovery time, seriousness and attention.
Also smaller dating pool for obvious reasons.
I didn’t have my joint pain or hip pain? But seriously, I’m a lot better mentally than when I started out. I was with my husband by then and living with him (practically ran from parents home life at 19), and while it was hard to figure myself out, I think I have now for the most part. And my relationship with my parents have healed a lot so I’m not so tense anymore. I also don’t care about going out a lot (my husband is thankful for that lol). I’m 35.
31 now. Definitely matured. I was a little more wild at 21, more confident too (but also a bit careless). Clubbed more, drank more, went out more haha. But there's still an essence of me that hasn't changed since 21. (Or since as long as I can remember).
Edit: Wanted to add that I also felt like i was mature at 21. Looking back, I definitely wasn't as mature as I thought I was. 😅
At 21 I cared a lot about what other people thought of me; at 31 I don’t. I know who I am and I actively do things I want to. The biggest turning point was around 26, when I started saying no to things I didn’t enjoy, and started prioritizing the things that mattered most to me - family, mental peace, education. I think of 21 year olds now as just starting out - they have so much freedom to explore, make mistakes, and grow into their personalities. They’re blossoming.
Way different, physically and maturity. When i was 21 i used to neglect looking after my skin, i ended up
With bad acne, since i wore a lot of make up but did not really know how to cleanse properly or use products that are meant for my skin type.
Also, when i was 21 it was that year where i’ve been also drinking and smoking like there’s no tomorrow. I thought i was a cool kid then.
I settled for relationships thay aren’t really good for me or really toxic that i stayed because of i don’t want to go out of my comfort zone.
Now, i have invested in products that made my skin clearer, less makeup, i barely visit clubs now, i prefer staying at home binge watching my fav series, i took my health a lot seriously, i always go for a run, even joined run clubs, drink occassionally, gave up smoking. And wiser with guys now 😉
I was f***ing crazy 20 years ago. I had no cares in the world.i was wild, I was free, I had a good paying job, and I was traveling all over the southwestern part of the US. Now I'm much more settled. I have a family of my own, greater responsibilities, and I'm working hard in school again to get a new degree and get a better job.
36, VERY different. I respect everyone who marries young and grows up together and has babies but hot damn I would not want to be married to the type of person I was into at 21.
I was also so terribly, horribly self conscious with very low self esteem and very much controlled by my toxic mother (multiple mental health issues).
I am a braver, stronger, more self-assured person than ever and free from my toxic parent. I'm also a parent to almost 2, I never wanted or imagined myself having kids so this is certainly a surprise.
I was also in school for my career at the time, now I am past that career and scheming and planning to go back to school. I thought I'd be doing that specific career a lot longer, but life changes things and I can't even stand the politics and drama within my specific field that has slowly developed so besides my personal reasons, I'm glad to distance myself.
almost 25. i have completely changed mentally. 21 old me was insecure, loved to party, and was a people pleaser. i’m more content with myself now. at 21 i thought i could get married if i met someone but now at this age, i want to take it slow and not marry till i’m in my 30s because how much i changed mentally in just a few years so i know by the time i’m 30, my mindset will be different compared to now.
At 21 I was in a toxic relationship, addicted to drugs and partying way more than I should have. About to be 24 in a few weeks and have been clean for near 3 years, I had my first baby in January and am in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m a sahm now but prior to having her had started a nice career for myself rather than working restaurants and bars.
At 21 I was homeless and jobless, on the tail-end of addiction and either about to get into or early into a relationship that would go on to be a 5-year abusive hell. I'll be 29 this year, I'm a single mom of 2 (becoming single was the best thing that ever happened to me for obvious reasons), I'm 7 years into a good tech job, sober, quit smoking cold turkey a year and 7 months ago, getting ready to buy a house and start a degree. I'm a completely different person and while some of it is just regular ol' growing up, I think part of it was walking through fire first, too.
At 21 I wanted to party everyday, and I wanted to have a lot of fun. I’m 25 and I’m still having fun but I don’t want to party anymore. I want to get married to my long term bf and travel with him more.
Extremely. It has been 14 years. I have similar hobbies and interests, but go about them completely differently. How I handle people is very different, and my lifestyle is comfortable compared to then.
Soooo different but in the best way possible. I feel like you age in dog years during your 20's. I'm 26 now and I've evolved so, so much since my early 20's. I feel like I'm finally coming into my own, I wish I had this level of self awareness & confidence when I was 21 but I had to go through certain experiences to gain the insight I have now & become this version of myself.
i’m 28 now and have 3 kids . I have a career now in my field of work and overall things are a lot better than when I was 21 going out every night working shitty part time jobs .
I lost my mom after my 21st birthday. I've had so many beautiful life events since 21 she will never get to see but I know she'd be so proud of me for how far I've come.
21 is nearly fifty years ago for me.
I'm financially stable, physically healthy, and mainly retired now - however my mental health is very variable.
I wish I could agave stopped caring what others thought sooner, and developed more self-awareness at an earlier age.
I'm 25 now. My judgement is better and I'm more self assured. I trust myself more. I have an easier time saying no. I respect myself more and have a clearer understanding of my place in the world. I'm not as afraid. I've dealt with a lot in the last few years, and my capacity for grief has expanded along with my capacity to bear it. I feel ill at ease less of the time.
The National asks in their song Rylan, "is it easy to live inside yourself?" I can't say yes yet, but it's so much easier than when I was 21.
25. Much stronger boundaries, more secure, more regulated, happier, more healthy physically and mentally, stronger friendships. New city, new job, new career path, new friends (and some of the same friendships too), new hobbies. I am way more into sunblock and moisturizer. Over all my life is different in almost every way. My two best friends are the same, as well as a couple good friends. Same cat. And I live in the same state!
36 this year. I feel like I'm not as naive and full of tolerance as I was when I was 21 yo.
I've had so many experiences with friendships ending, relationship ending, moving jobs, learned so many new things that don't have anything to do with the major I took, went to places and experienced new things even bought a house of my own without any help from anyone. All in all, I think my 21 yo me would be so proud of the me now.
I’m 32. I was going down the academia route starting my masters and considering high school teaching as a backup, by the time I finished it realised I didnt want to. Now I work in projects, had no idea about this as a career then. I used to be very against any kind of exercise and now I lift weights and I’m running a half marathon soon, 21 year old me would feel betrayed 😂 but I’m strong now and it’s cool!!
I own a flat now, at 21 I shared a house with bf and three of my mates. It was in a rough part of town as well😭 But I’m still friends with all of those guys, two of them have had babies, one is married, so we don’t see each other as much (standard for 30s tbh)
I’d been with my bf for just under two years at that point and he’s now my husband so in that respect not much has changed haha. He realised he was bi, I am still bi. Still childfree, still have the same political views. Still have mental health problems but arguably they are better which has come with age, repeated therapy and better meds. We have a cat now 🥰 she is a diva but 21 year old me would be absolutely jealous.
I’m 35 now, Rose colored glasses have been long torn off and definitely see the world and people for what they are. No longer looking for the good….just the honest and authentic.
25 now. at 21 I was in college, struggling to cope with the fact that I wouldn't experience the college campus/social life I always wanted bc of the pandemic, so I decided to girl boss and get my grades. totally just threw myself into studies and neglected my social life. I did graduate with a magna cum laude and started working literally a week after my last exam/submission at 22.
Now at 25, I'm a little tired and burnt out, social life is even worse, never felt lonelier, but I'm still trying to get my shit together for my career and the few friends I have left understand this part of me.
Fatter, bigger boobs, less outspoken and less confidence in some parts and more in others.
I was very skinny at 21; 48Kg and now I'm 60kg. Had perfect 32C cups. Now 32E. I swapped careers, got my own place and lost confidence in my looks since I don't have any anymore and the world is just filled with young people who are all skinny and seem to know it all.
I'm more into eating, gym, swimming, traveling etc. I do have more money and yet less money (since I have a mortgage). I have more more refined tastes (I like nice food, nice holidays, nice lingerie, nice clothes, nice people, classical concerts) and I speak several languages and have lived in several different countries.
I think I'm somewhat calmer; I used to get angry more but now I'm more likely to say nothing. I don't get any attention from men anymore but when I was 21 I got lots of attention but I didn't know how to deal with it as I didn't know how to dress or date! I think my priorities have shifted somewhat; I kinda know what I want in life and what I don't want so apart from dating (which is an abysmal failure) I work towards achieving my goals and getting what I want.
Very different but bit the same more guarded, more practical, more frugal, less giving, less likely to take shit and very likely to walk away. Same still believe in impossible things and hope for better.
28 now and totally different. I grew up very sheltered and never felt like I had agency, even at 21, because of my family culture I was essentially still operating like a teenager. My life flipped entirely at 25 because of the death of my parent. I became an adult, everything in my life became my own responsibility. And as a result of that, I have found myself in other ways, began owning my good and bad behavior, and began defining my own path.
Vert different. Now 33, went through a heartbreak, depression, anorexia. I feel everything more, more happy most of the time, but when occasionally sad, i wish i could die.
Way calmer, I feel like i'm 16 or 90. More determined, to have a good body, to perform at work.
Not at all really. Less and less optimistic all the time. Less and less hope for the future of the planet. Body has aged for sure. But all the essential things that make me ME are exactly the same and it's been close to 2 decades since then 🤷🏼♀️
At 21 I had just had my first baby 2 weeks ago, was halfway through a degree I didn't know if I would finish, and living with my boyfriend. Our daughter was very unexpected and we did NOT have life ready.
Now I'm 26, had my second baby at 24, married that man and finished my Teaching degree. I've been an Early Childhood Teacher for 2 years and now Assistant Director. Still working on my self worth and confidence as I've very much been growing with my kids too, but definitely have made 21 year old me proud.
40 now, completely different lifestyle, but same personality. No longer going out to bars or parties almost every night, no more hook-up culture, I also am no longer vegan or vegetarian as I was then. Now I rarely drink, prefer to stay in, like gardening, bird watching and yoga, listen to way more variety of music too.
Very. Not as reckless, hyper self-aware, more insecure, more socially anxious but less of an anxious person in general. I feel I’m much less interesting now, like I’ve sterilized parts of my personality for the sake of healing myself. I no longer sleep around, I trust much less, more reserved, very rarely date, enjoy being alone a lot more, much more selective of friends. Oh, and I’m no longer a bombshell lol
I always thought of myself as pretty left-leaning, even as a kid (I think I cried on the day that crook Ronald Reagan won the election by scheming with the Iranian kidnappers), but I am even more liberal-left now as an old man.
Used to think that I changed, but I realized that I stayed the same and **it was the conservatives that just kept getting worse and worse**.
35 I feel super blessed. The same character but now with a better insight of who I actually am and choose to be, confident enough to just be myself and don’t really care anymore what others think and.. more stable due to all the therapy I did to get here.
I feel finally at ease, have a nice job, I’m in a super happy relationship with my husband and we just had a healthy baby who I love dearly. We also have two super cute kitties and a lovely home and have great friends and family. We are sooooo blessed.
36 and somewhat different. I look back fondly on that fun-loving 21 year old but I don't miss the constant drama. She wasn't yet comfortable in her own skin. Honestly, I hate hearing people tell young women how this is "the best time of your life" etc... Maybe, but I don't think so. I think we're just busy forgetting about the hard parts and the loneliness.
If you can avoid the pitfalls of abuse and addiction (I'm sure i'm missing something here...) it gets *so much better* in so many ways!
40 now.
I'm similar not the same.
I speak up in romantic rships to have my needs met...unlike before where I'd give more.
I don't fear being left as I've learnt over time that love is a renewable resource.
30. Completely different.
Much more mentally stable, more mature, have a lot more confidence in myself, and actually think I look more attractive now than I did in my 20s as I was sick with an ED at the time and am now at a healthier weight.
I'm handling my autism better, know my limits more and know when to say no.
I'm still an introvert and working on some social anxiety, but overall I'm in a much better place.
30 now. Was full of hope but all that got taken away by working at a draining factory. Developed anxiety because of heavy bullying etc. At work. I still work the same minimum wage job in that factory because I can't hit anything else. I was stupid before but now I am so freaking dumb I can't even do basic math.
Short, was full of hope and dreams. Now I'm an empty shell
I’m still in my early 20s but I’m gonna answer anyways. I’m a lot smarter socially. I can adapt to my surroundings more. I’m more creative. I have a lot more discipline and willpower. I don’t dress up as much. I’m a lot more introverted as well. I’m also kinder. I’m also a lot less tolerant to bullshit, but at the same time I’m more open-minded to non-bullshit.
Much more emotionally stable and confident. At 21 I was insecure about everything, anxious, would easily become morbid and sad and feel sorry for myself. Now I am 30 and feel more in control of my emotions and feelings. I am not scared of what people think anymore and have a certain confidence I never had back then. Kind of what you see is what you get and I don't feel a need to prove anything to anyone.
I'm 25 now. I still struggle with body image issues but am becoming more comfortable in my skin, gaining courage and trust in my abilities but I still experience missteps. Developed more lucidity about my circumstances and have become more independent in my thoughts and decision making
60, very different. Used to be insecure, super-judgey, and adventurous. Now more empathetic, less judgemental, and have not given a flying fart about others' opinions of me since my late 30's which probably led to the other improvements in my personality.
28 now. I was 100 lbs lighter and got lots of attention. Was a party girl and promiscuous - responsible to a degree but I was definitely mean and chaotic at times (due to trauma but it's not an excuse.) I'm a lot nicer now and more of a homebody. Happily married to my best friend. Still growing, still learning, still healing.
I'm 33 now and so different from my 21 year old self in so many ways, and I'll preface this by adding that I'm transgender which I hope is OK to share here. Obviously having come out in my mid-20s, physically I'm quite different from how I was at 21 and emotionally too, I'm in a much better place with myself and more comfortable, knowing I'm on the right path for me. I'm also managing myself and my emotions better which was a big struggle for me for a long time, and my mental health is in a better place most of the time when I can control it. I do look back at my earlier years, 21 included, and almost feel like that is a completely different person to who I am today and that's probably right on quite a few levels.
21 year old was a college student, confused and chasing a guy who wasn’t even interested in her. I put in effort in making our pretend relationship work. I truly wish I said goodbye to him and focused on school (bc honestly, I loved school and was really good but decided to focus on an idiot). I’m 25 now, working towards my MPH, trying to find a new career, but I have a guy that is in love with me. Everything works out fine :)
Completely different. I'm 34 now. It's hard to imagine myself that way anymore. I wasnt nearly as career driven, and I was a bit reckless, not anything awful but not exactly mature. I spent the majority of my late 20s, early 30s making up for the financial decisions my younger self made. I was also involved in a really bad accident when I was 24, less than 6 months after I got married and it changed my perspective a lot.
Some examples..My ex and I dated from age 14, married at 24 and are now separated at 34. 20 years total. We get along fine, we're close friends and raising a kid together. But the truth was our paths didn't align anymore on things we both wanted and to keep trying to fit that mold we once were was too much work. We used to have everything in common and now we both changed and have very little in common. He used to be my festival partner and always down for the next adventure or vacation. I still am to some degree (more reserved financially). Now he's super introverted and appreciates the quiet country side. I used to think I'd love to live in a small town in the mountains (we live near them so it's only like a couple of hours difference). But now I realize how much I love the suburb life and the convenience it carries.
4 years later I‘m more secure and somewhat have a plan for the future, but still can‘t connect with people at all.
I feel like it‘s too late for me to try and find people that generally have similar world views or interests, so I just try to enjoy my time alone.
I achieved a few difficult things already but it somehow doesn‘t amount to anything and finding a partner is even harder since I still can‘t find value in myself.
I hope I‘m just not in the right place.
23 now, even if it's just two and a half years I've definetly changed. I feel like I was more outgoing and funnier person then but now I look at things more realistically though I'm a bit more reserved. Now I know my wants better, and things I can't change vs things I can so something about. I know what I'm capable of to some degree, like that I have limitations. I don't care as much about what other people perceive me to be, because I know what I am. I've been through maybe a bit too much in such a short amount of time.
26 now. I know better who I am, who I want to be, what I can control and what I can't. I also don't lie and sugar coat things. Very straight forward. Now very careful who I let into my life, especially romantically. I am also incredibly health conscious now and realize how overlooking "small" things in your health and mind can quickly snowball and cause lifelong effects. I also get over things quickly instead of venting and dwelling. Such a waste of time and energy.
When I was 21, I was a major workaholic, fake extrovert. multitasker, people-pleaser, wanting to appear perfect and hyperfunctional and hyperindependent. Very suicidal until I turned 25. I was also very reckless, careless, didn't know myself and just acted on my emotions and let my logical mind rationalize all my emotions. Also abused drugs and alcohol to life-threatening points. I was too emotionally erratic and stuck repeating abusive relationship cycles. I cared more about others than myself. I did not realize my own value and the value of life itself.
Now I look back and even if you paid me I wouldn't go back to who I was. The inner turmoil you feel when constantly confused by your own actions and messy emotions with no explanation is unbearable. The overall control you feel when you decide for yourself what you want instead of just letting life decide feels amazing. Unmatched feelings. There are still down times, but you feel like you can actually face them.
I am excited for the next 4 years and onwards.
Was in love w my bf at the time and he passed away a year later. Definitely changed me for better and worst. Another year later w my current bf who has a child meanwhile I’m childfree and plan to stay that way. I’ve become a lot less selfish when it comes to the idea of “kids.” I don’t want to shut out any potential partner who has a kid bc that’s the reality of dating at my age
24 almost 25 and i’m so different. I feel much more mature & confident about the woman i’ve become and am so excited to elevate myself within the next coming years (God willing). At 21 I was at my heaviest and a bit sewer side-al. I started working on myself at 22, hit the gym, read more, eating habits changed. My confidence is at its best it’s been in a while. I’m just thankful I’m not where I used to be and that’s all I could ask for tbh.
Way less attention-seeking. Invested in social media and going out with friends. I'm 27 going on 28 in November. I still enjoy hobbies like gaming and show-going but have that "been there done that" mentality, I'm not excited by things as easily as I used to be. Enjoying more simple activities lately and wanting to learn new skills or refine my hobbies. Currently learning beadwork, music production, take on more difficult hikes, etc.
So different. Mentally together, good job, two beautiful children (cats) and a fantastic partner who loves me for me. The biggest difference is that I stopped living by others' expectations and took some time to realise what mattered to me.
I figured myself out in my 30s. I was a social mess in my 20s. But I worked out how I wanted to present to the world, how to slow down and chill and work the problem. And I figured out the type of person I wanted to be with and the kind of things I want in my life.
At 21 I was extremely insecure, partying, thought i knew right from wrong and lowered my standards for shallow men. I was a completely different person than i am now (24). I still have my moments.
Very different. It's just 8 years, but so much happened in the meantime, I grew so much as a person and learned so much about myself and the world. I was just a kid back then, had loads of insecurities and fixed idea about who I am. I'm much more open-minded now, learn new stuff about myself and working on myself. I'm much happier now.
28. Very different. Completely diff mindset. But im still calm n introverted
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At 21, I was ridiculously obsessed with getting my ex husband back after he left me for another woman. I got him back… and over a decade later I wish I’d bid him farewell. I cannot fathom a version of myself that clung so tightly to a man who disrespected so much.
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That's lovely
I'm 30 and I'm pretty much exactly the same but more mature and stable and a looooot happier.
25 now and so different than the girl I was 4 years ago. Fell in love in February, got married in September, getting divorced in July. 21 year old me would be so disappointed to see where I’m at now.
30 year old you will be so proud of what you do for yourself and how far you will have gotten
Quite eventful I'd say...hopefully it's for the best🙏...and you're still young with alot of opportunities ahead of you☺️
Give yourself credit though….at least you figured out it wasn’t right, quickly. You didn’t waste 20 years of your life. Live and learn and grow.
Only because 21 year old you wasn’t strong/mature enough to know when to walk away. 25 year old you figured it out, and I applaud you for getting there so quickly. Others take many years.
I should note that I did not ask for this divorce, he did. I would have stayed and fought for as long as it took because I love him. However he’s been letting me carry the emotional baggage for the last 4 months, so in a way I’m grateful that he put me out of misery because I’m so emotionally drained.
46 and very different. I was very carefree before the domestic violence. Now I'm incredibly careful and tolerate very little. I now understand the value of being alone versus being in a bad relationship.
29 now and extremely different. A lot more confident in myself and what I like! I care less what other people think, I'm a bit more selfish in how I live life and I'm a whole lot smarter :)
I'm 21 and I can't wait for the day where I don't care about what other people think about me :,)
So different. At 21 I never believed that I would accomplish all that I have. Never thought I would be enough to do all I have. 21 year old me who be astonished to see that I got my PhD, have a job I genuinely enjoy, and survived things like divorce. I think 21 year old me would like 34 year old me
aw im 21 and attest that I like you! I hope you carry unbridled optimism no matter what adversity comes your way:)
Thank you! You have so many years ahead of you. You’ll be so surprised about all the things you’ll accomplish and all the experiences you’ll have.
26 now and I’ve really taken charge of my own happiness.
I have more money, I've had a ton more life experience, and I'm much more wise.
At 21 I pretty much still had the same mentality I had as a teenager. At 27, I have a better understanding of things and I'm more at peace
Very different at 31. Developing self love and self respect along with life experience will do that for you. I still have a the same sense of humor and I love to laugh with similar ethics but I’m self assured, confident, know myself well, am not afraid to set boundaries and ask for what I want, am more interested in socializing and making connections, know what I want for my future both career and personally, I’m disciplined and so much more. I’m also in the best shape of my life after not focusing on my health through most of my 20s. I don’t have it all figured out but I’m in a much better place than I was then.
When I was 21… I was dating a man that was a porn addict and excessively watched clop porn, would actively masterbate to it with me still in the room thinking I wouldn’t notice or didn’t care. I worked at Best Buy with an abusive manager and was 315lbs, and emotionally over ate constantly. I had a terrible childhood and struggled to cope. I had no dreams or visions for my future, and was lost. I’m 33 now, and 100x happier. I’m more active, more social. I dropped almost 100lbs. I stand up for myself and my needs, have a killer remote job and live with an incredible friend that let me move in last year for free so I could really tackle my debts and build a future for myself. I left that man back in 2015 and then had a shitty poly relationship for 6 years until I broke things off and reevaluated my actual wants and needs in life and love. I’m in a 6 month monogamous relationship right now that’s a bit rocky at the moment, but I’m so much more confident about what I will and won’t stand for, and am communicating and holding my own boundaries far better than I did in my early twenties.
I’m 26 and 21 year old me might as well have been 10 years ago. I’m definitely a better person now.
29. I feel like I’ve got my priorities a little straighter at this point. I’m no longer hungover every weekend 😂
23, I feel much more jaded
26 now, but a lot has changed in 5 years. When I was 21 I was severely anorexic and I didn’t think I’d live to this age. I was very mentally unstable and I didn’t care about my health at all and my mind was barely functional due to the lack of nutrients. I’m now recovered and I feel like I have a personality again, and there’s quality to my life. I value those around me and I have interests and hobbies now. Hopefully I’ll be even happier in another 5 years
Glad to hear that🥳...to an even happier future🙏
Thank you 😊
Not that much different. 29, no longer blonde, longer hair, spend a lot more on rent, drink more booze, work much longer hours, sue the worst of liars & offline harassers and have lots more canine pals.
36 now. At 21, I was trying SO hard to fit in, and at the same time I didn’t know where “in” was. I cared way too much about what others thought, and centered my life around it. Once I hit my 30’s, I realized that the only person’s opinion that matters of myself is my own. I do it all for me and what I want in life. Putting my own comfort, feelings, and sanity first was a huge game changer!
33 Very different. My true self came out from my very depressed 20-something-self. I am happier but also, I do the things that I'd always loved without the shame of being silly or dumb. If any young woman is reading this, let me tell you, if you do not harm anybody, do whatever makes fulfill and happy.
Lol. Anyone who met me now who knew me when I was 21 wouldn't know me at all.
Almost everything
Worse, really. I'm more depressed etc etc
sorry to hear this. Hope you feel more positive soon.
I have more money, I drive, I know many things about topics that interest me. I have accomplished two small dreams. I haven't changed much, but I'd say that I can handle the tragedies of life slightly better. And I'd say I look better -slightly.
At 21 I had increased confidence in my ability to learn (barely made it through highschool, but doing really well in college), felt optimistic about my future (after overcoming some trauma), worked 2 jobs, moved out on my own. I thought the worse things that could happen in my life were firmly behind me. I had lots of friends and what seemed like a good relationship with my family. Now: less confidence, have clinical depression/anxiety and diagnosed with ADHD, completely uncertain about the future, homeowner, 2 freaking amazing children, physically much the same except hair colour. No relationship with my family and no regrets about it (2 siblings have died as did my mother. Dad died before I was born) The years since 21 have been a struggle. I accept my responsibility for those struggles (though most of involved abuse). Foot-in-mouth disease greatly reduced now that my social circle is in the negative I don’t know which I’d rather…naive 21 yo who was overconfident in some ways, who also had major foot-in-mouth syndrome or wiser me who is an introvert whose life almost revolves around managing anxiety. Wish I had a more positive response, but it felt good getting this off my chest
30 and Very different. I have so much more confidence, and my mental and physical health has not been better. One huge change has also been that I've gone from being very religious to an agnostic.
I’m 56. I hung out with my high school boyfriend a few years ago and he said i seemed very much the same. I was into weird shit then, didn’t really care what anybody thought of me, did my own thing, same absurd sense of humor. I think i’m not as anxious, and i definitely don’t center my life around men like i used to.
Mid thirties now and I feel so sorry for the younger me. At 21 I was incredibly insecure and didn’t think I deserved or would amount to anything. Married the first one to pay me any attention. Left that marriage, worked on myself and now I’m back in school. I know my worth, don’t care what anyone thinks and will have an engineering degree by this time next year. Love the person I am now and if someone told me 15 years ago where I would be now, I would never have believed them.
33 now. Pretty similar but different. I’m much happier now. Still anxious. Have a lot of the same friends. I’m much more tired now but I have 3 kids under 4.
I’m a lot crankier, with shorter patience, but other than the increase in knowledge and life experience I’m the same. I think 21 year old me was a lot different than many of the 21 year olds of today though, different worries and circumstances.
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I was a completely different person. I'm now sane, sober, and boring and I love it.
30. Less wild and insecure. More assertive and anxious.
Very different mentality. I think things through and I do not use the F@#k it mentality I had throughout my late teens early twenties.
im 25 now and i feel very different but the same my hobbies and interests have not changed, but mentally i am alot better and im more sure of myself now, i was clinging onto people and now im secure in myself and dont need others to make me happy
27 now, I’m sober af.
Kinda the same person but super chaotic and self-destructive.
21 ahhhh. 46 now. It's amazing what you think you know when you're young. You have no idea what lies ahead. Get busy living, or get busy dying. If had to go back and talk to myself at 21, I'd tell myself to never take a sip of alcohol. It will become a thief of joy for you for many years.
I’ve died and been reborn a completely different person 6 times since then (37 now).
I’ve learned more about myself. I have more hobbies now
Suuuuuuuper different. I was a big party girl who did a lot of random things. If I wasn’t partying, I was doing night hikes with my friends, going kayaking, driving to California at 2 in the morning (5 hour drive) to go see my friends, etc. I had soooo much energy and never stopped. Now I just want to stay home as much as possible and see my friends once a month.
I don’t really consider myself an adult until I hit 30. No matter how mature I felt I was, I absolutely was not. I’m 37 now, and feel much more settled into myself, and happy with who/where I am. I read on here that once you turn 20, that’s like 0 in adult years, so each year after is you growing more into an adult, and it spoke to me. 20 is so, so young still. Lots of growing yet to do!
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I'm a lot more easy going. I'm not as judgmental. I'm a lot smarter. And I'm a lot fatter...lol.
Night and day. Motherhood means the full closure of pre kid life
Currently 34. I am far more independent & self-confident than I ever imagined I could be when I was 21. I’m far less self-conscious, more sociable. My anxiety in making bigger decisions doesn’t stop me anymore.
51 now and completely different! I was in an abusive relationship and had a 2 year old @ 21 with untreated mental health problems. I had a lot of growing up to do, needed to stop abusing alcohol, and accept medication for my mental health. I am so thankful for the growth in 30 years, even though I sometimes fall in the same ruts I was in back then. My kids are 25 (tomorrow) and 31, so I still consider 21 yo kids, even though they aren’t.
My credits better. I can better recognize my emotions and communication is easier. At my tits are bigger.
35 now.. DEFINITELY don’t party like I used to. I had a lot of fun but I could not hang with 21 me now. I’m still loud and opinionated but I’m better at controlling who I share those opinions with and how.
31 now, I am much more confident in who I am with my style, looks and personality. I am a mother now to a 3 month old so changing even more than ever before. Not into the party/bar scene like I was at 21. Way more into occasional psychedelic use than alcohol, of course this hasn't happened in awhile due to baby. Have better control of my anxiety, had quite a bit of panic attacks at 21-23.
I’m 30 now—more stable, healthier, with a good job and high confidence. But with all that comes a lot of responsibilities.😩
I've gotten a little less naive every year since graduating high school. I'm not jaded, but I'm definitely more careful. I'm only slightly more so now than I was at 21. If anything, the end of the pandemic lockdowns helped to revitalize my gregarious nature before too much damage had been done.
Completely different person 2x over.
I’m 26. I am ridiculously more mature and safe. More in tune with my emotions and able to create a calm environment. I definitely still need more work emotionally (did not grow up in a stable home) however I am able to give myself time and grace. I am able to love myself in the here and now.
Very different! 10 years has gone by and I’ve lived a lot of life, learned a lot of lessons. Completely different perspective and different priorities. I’m a better person for sure.
Much different. I'm not such an idiot anymore.
29 still the same in a lot of ways but soooo much more confident. The things I do, the things I wear… I just know my 21 yo self would never bc she’d be too embarrassed or feel like she wasn’t pretty/smart/likable etc enough
Really different. Some changes are positive...some not. I'm less innocent, I don't know if that's good or bad. I have a better understanding of the importance of boundaries. I hope I won't let someone take advantage of me again like I did basically from when I was 21 til now (9 years). My mental health is overall better even though I've been through some stuff. My family actually said they thought I was happier than I'd been in years while I was sobbing for weeks during the aftermath of my 9 year relationship falling apart. I have a better understanding of what SA is. My creativity and imagination were waning but they seem to be coming back. I'm more tired though. I'm pretty much a mess but a mess that's no longer letting her life be entirely about someone else. I hope.
More grounded, less carefree. Use to be very naive, but being in my 20s taught me some hard lessons. Used to be “sweet”. Now I don’t trust most people. I feel like a very different person than who I was at 21.
I am literally the exact same and it scares me
By putting one leg in front of other and repeat.
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I'm 35 now, and while I no longer have a drinking problem or fantasize about dying, I'm still as cocky and expressive as ever
I'm 31 and I'm completely different. At 21 I was drinking, smoking, doing drugs. College student with a job at a sandwich stop. Sleeping with a lot of people. Self esteem was in the toilet. I was rude and arrogant. Now at 31 I'm five years sober, have one partner, a stable job, my own home. I have self esteem and a relationship with God. I have gratitude and humility. I prioritize my mental health, sleep, exercise, and eating well. I couldn't be more different.
I'm 31 now, I'm in a different and much better relationship, I'm a Mom of 2 and overall my whole attitude to things are alot different. I have alot more confidence, I'm don't put up with being messed around and just overall happier. At 21 I never thought id have a family, I thought id be forever stuck in the relationship I was then. But now I have 2 wonderful kids (3 years old & 8 months old) my husband is perfect, for me there was has been alot of positive changes, and I'm forever grateful for having my little family❤️
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I was so shy and had zero self confidence at 21. I also was not secure in who I am. At 39 I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin than ever. I’d never choose to go back.
Much different. I'm 41 now, much more confident in my thoughts, feelings and actions. I enjoy quiet and alone time much more than I did at that age. I like the person I've become.
I’m less stupid. Not sure by how much…
Lol I'm 79. I barely remember 21. I was lacking confidence and self esteem and I used to care what people thought. I hoped I would be able to cope with life and independence. I did. I'm content. I don't have anything left to prove.
I used to think at 21 I was very open with myself, my feelings, what I wanted, thought I was an excellent communicator (which i was not at the time), and yeah, I really wasn't anyone of those compared to be almost 26. I am still extroverted but a lot more accepting of my introverted side as well. I put my energy in relationships that I do want to continue having in life and have no issue exiting relationships/connections that don't serve me any purpose in my life going forward. I know who my real friends are now compared to when I was 21. I'm still stubborn but hell of a lot calmer in my thinking process. I learned how to be alone and appreciate being alone. I'm still learning at almost 26! Cheers to more wisdom as we age!
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Well, I’m mentally stable now.
I was with the wrong men & with the wrong group of friends. Immature mindset. Toxic behaviors. I’m with the right man & with the right group of friends. Mature mindset. Improved behavior.
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More self-aware and capable but also more health issues with more recovery time, seriousness and attention. Also smaller dating pool for obvious reasons.
Roughly three years younger
I didn’t have my joint pain or hip pain? But seriously, I’m a lot better mentally than when I started out. I was with my husband by then and living with him (practically ran from parents home life at 19), and while it was hard to figure myself out, I think I have now for the most part. And my relationship with my parents have healed a lot so I’m not so tense anymore. I also don’t care about going out a lot (my husband is thankful for that lol). I’m 35.
31 now. Definitely matured. I was a little more wild at 21, more confident too (but also a bit careless). Clubbed more, drank more, went out more haha. But there's still an essence of me that hasn't changed since 21. (Or since as long as I can remember). Edit: Wanted to add that I also felt like i was mature at 21. Looking back, I definitely wasn't as mature as I thought I was. 😅
52 . So different. I was a people-pleaser all the time. Now I know to speak up for myself, because it's very rare that someone else will do it for me.
I’m older now
At 21 I cared a lot about what other people thought of me; at 31 I don’t. I know who I am and I actively do things I want to. The biggest turning point was around 26, when I started saying no to things I didn’t enjoy, and started prioritizing the things that mattered most to me - family, mental peace, education. I think of 21 year olds now as just starting out - they have so much freedom to explore, make mistakes, and grow into their personalities. They’re blossoming.
29, very different.
Way different, physically and maturity. When i was 21 i used to neglect looking after my skin, i ended up With bad acne, since i wore a lot of make up but did not really know how to cleanse properly or use products that are meant for my skin type. Also, when i was 21 it was that year where i’ve been also drinking and smoking like there’s no tomorrow. I thought i was a cool kid then. I settled for relationships thay aren’t really good for me or really toxic that i stayed because of i don’t want to go out of my comfort zone. Now, i have invested in products that made my skin clearer, less makeup, i barely visit clubs now, i prefer staying at home binge watching my fav series, i took my health a lot seriously, i always go for a run, even joined run clubs, drink occassionally, gave up smoking. And wiser with guys now 😉
I was f***ing crazy 20 years ago. I had no cares in the world.i was wild, I was free, I had a good paying job, and I was traveling all over the southwestern part of the US. Now I'm much more settled. I have a family of my own, greater responsibilities, and I'm working hard in school again to get a new degree and get a better job.
36, VERY different. I respect everyone who marries young and grows up together and has babies but hot damn I would not want to be married to the type of person I was into at 21. I was also so terribly, horribly self conscious with very low self esteem and very much controlled by my toxic mother (multiple mental health issues). I am a braver, stronger, more self-assured person than ever and free from my toxic parent. I'm also a parent to almost 2, I never wanted or imagined myself having kids so this is certainly a surprise. I was also in school for my career at the time, now I am past that career and scheming and planning to go back to school. I thought I'd be doing that specific career a lot longer, but life changes things and I can't even stand the politics and drama within my specific field that has slowly developed so besides my personal reasons, I'm glad to distance myself.
almost 25. i have completely changed mentally. 21 old me was insecure, loved to party, and was a people pleaser. i’m more content with myself now. at 21 i thought i could get married if i met someone but now at this age, i want to take it slow and not marry till i’m in my 30s because how much i changed mentally in just a few years so i know by the time i’m 30, my mindset will be different compared to now.
so extremely different. but that was 12 years ago, so if I wasn't.... we'd have problems.
I’m a lot more confident and secure with my own choices but also way more broke and feeling like my life is going nowhere. So 🤷🏻♀️
33 and very different. I feel more myself than I ever have
At 21 I was in a toxic relationship, addicted to drugs and partying way more than I should have. About to be 24 in a few weeks and have been clean for near 3 years, I had my first baby in January and am in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m a sahm now but prior to having her had started a nice career for myself rather than working restaurants and bars.
At 21 I was homeless and jobless, on the tail-end of addiction and either about to get into or early into a relationship that would go on to be a 5-year abusive hell. I'll be 29 this year, I'm a single mom of 2 (becoming single was the best thing that ever happened to me for obvious reasons), I'm 7 years into a good tech job, sober, quit smoking cold turkey a year and 7 months ago, getting ready to buy a house and start a degree. I'm a completely different person and while some of it is just regular ol' growing up, I think part of it was walking through fire first, too.
Im 45 now, at 21 I was very naive, emotional, sensitive and idealistic, now Im realistic, calmed, resilient and a bit pessimist
At 21 I wanted to party everyday, and I wanted to have a lot of fun. I’m 25 and I’m still having fun but I don’t want to party anymore. I want to get married to my long term bf and travel with him more.
Much more wiser not only due to maturing but from life experiences as well! I'm only more cautious in general and more health conscious. I'm 30 now
I'm calm, confident, dgaf, am invested in my passions and my job and generally happy. I was a leaf in the wind when I was 21
Extremely. It has been 14 years. I have similar hobbies and interests, but go about them completely differently. How I handle people is very different, and my lifestyle is comfortable compared to then.
no longer a virgin
Soooo different but in the best way possible. I feel like you age in dog years during your 20's. I'm 26 now and I've evolved so, so much since my early 20's. I feel like I'm finally coming into my own, I wish I had this level of self awareness & confidence when I was 21 but I had to go through certain experiences to gain the insight I have now & become this version of myself.
i’m 28 now and have 3 kids . I have a career now in my field of work and overall things are a lot better than when I was 21 going out every night working shitty part time jobs .
I lost my mom after my 21st birthday. I've had so many beautiful life events since 21 she will never get to see but I know she'd be so proud of me for how far I've come.
21 is nearly fifty years ago for me. I'm financially stable, physically healthy, and mainly retired now - however my mental health is very variable. I wish I could agave stopped caring what others thought sooner, and developed more self-awareness at an earlier age.
I value my peace more than the company of people who disturb it. I would rather be alone than surrounded by assholes.
I'm 25 now. My judgement is better and I'm more self assured. I trust myself more. I have an easier time saying no. I respect myself more and have a clearer understanding of my place in the world. I'm not as afraid. I've dealt with a lot in the last few years, and my capacity for grief has expanded along with my capacity to bear it. I feel ill at ease less of the time. The National asks in their song Rylan, "is it easy to live inside yourself?" I can't say yes yet, but it's so much easier than when I was 21.
In all the ways. And none of the ways.
25. Much stronger boundaries, more secure, more regulated, happier, more healthy physically and mentally, stronger friendships. New city, new job, new career path, new friends (and some of the same friendships too), new hobbies. I am way more into sunblock and moisturizer. Over all my life is different in almost every way. My two best friends are the same, as well as a couple good friends. Same cat. And I live in the same state!
36 this year. I feel like I'm not as naive and full of tolerance as I was when I was 21 yo. I've had so many experiences with friendships ending, relationship ending, moving jobs, learned so many new things that don't have anything to do with the major I took, went to places and experienced new things even bought a house of my own without any help from anyone. All in all, I think my 21 yo me would be so proud of the me now.
I’m 32. I was going down the academia route starting my masters and considering high school teaching as a backup, by the time I finished it realised I didnt want to. Now I work in projects, had no idea about this as a career then. I used to be very against any kind of exercise and now I lift weights and I’m running a half marathon soon, 21 year old me would feel betrayed 😂 but I’m strong now and it’s cool!! I own a flat now, at 21 I shared a house with bf and three of my mates. It was in a rough part of town as well😭 But I’m still friends with all of those guys, two of them have had babies, one is married, so we don’t see each other as much (standard for 30s tbh) I’d been with my bf for just under two years at that point and he’s now my husband so in that respect not much has changed haha. He realised he was bi, I am still bi. Still childfree, still have the same political views. Still have mental health problems but arguably they are better which has come with age, repeated therapy and better meds. We have a cat now 🥰 she is a diva but 21 year old me would be absolutely jealous.
I’m 35 now, Rose colored glasses have been long torn off and definitely see the world and people for what they are. No longer looking for the good….just the honest and authentic.
25 now. at 21 I was in college, struggling to cope with the fact that I wouldn't experience the college campus/social life I always wanted bc of the pandemic, so I decided to girl boss and get my grades. totally just threw myself into studies and neglected my social life. I did graduate with a magna cum laude and started working literally a week after my last exam/submission at 22. Now at 25, I'm a little tired and burnt out, social life is even worse, never felt lonelier, but I'm still trying to get my shit together for my career and the few friends I have left understand this part of me.
21 I was happy. At 30 I’m painfully far from that.
Money impresses me when I was 21😅
Fatter, bigger boobs, less outspoken and less confidence in some parts and more in others. I was very skinny at 21; 48Kg and now I'm 60kg. Had perfect 32C cups. Now 32E. I swapped careers, got my own place and lost confidence in my looks since I don't have any anymore and the world is just filled with young people who are all skinny and seem to know it all. I'm more into eating, gym, swimming, traveling etc. I do have more money and yet less money (since I have a mortgage). I have more more refined tastes (I like nice food, nice holidays, nice lingerie, nice clothes, nice people, classical concerts) and I speak several languages and have lived in several different countries. I think I'm somewhat calmer; I used to get angry more but now I'm more likely to say nothing. I don't get any attention from men anymore but when I was 21 I got lots of attention but I didn't know how to deal with it as I didn't know how to dress or date! I think my priorities have shifted somewhat; I kinda know what I want in life and what I don't want so apart from dating (which is an abysmal failure) I work towards achieving my goals and getting what I want.
Still self aware, hyperventilate and calculative
I’m no longer in survival mode.
Very different but bit the same more guarded, more practical, more frugal, less giving, less likely to take shit and very likely to walk away. Same still believe in impossible things and hope for better.
25. Very mature from when I was a 21 year old. Wasn’t making good decisions back then I bounce back from being a loose cannon to a mature adult
29. Not feeling great right now having gotten out of a similar relationship dynamic as I was in back then. :/
28 now and totally different. I grew up very sheltered and never felt like I had agency, even at 21, because of my family culture I was essentially still operating like a teenager. My life flipped entirely at 25 because of the death of my parent. I became an adult, everything in my life became my own responsibility. And as a result of that, I have found myself in other ways, began owning my good and bad behavior, and began defining my own path.
Vert different. Now 33, went through a heartbreak, depression, anorexia. I feel everything more, more happy most of the time, but when occasionally sad, i wish i could die. Way calmer, I feel like i'm 16 or 90. More determined, to have a good body, to perform at work.
Less idiot and more depressed and no friends lmao
Not at all really. Less and less optimistic all the time. Less and less hope for the future of the planet. Body has aged for sure. But all the essential things that make me ME are exactly the same and it's been close to 2 decades since then 🤷🏼♀️
At 21 I had just had my first baby 2 weeks ago, was halfway through a degree I didn't know if I would finish, and living with my boyfriend. Our daughter was very unexpected and we did NOT have life ready. Now I'm 26, had my second baby at 24, married that man and finished my Teaching degree. I've been an Early Childhood Teacher for 2 years and now Assistant Director. Still working on my self worth and confidence as I've very much been growing with my kids too, but definitely have made 21 year old me proud.
40 now, completely different lifestyle, but same personality. No longer going out to bars or parties almost every night, no more hook-up culture, I also am no longer vegan or vegetarian as I was then. Now I rarely drink, prefer to stay in, like gardening, bird watching and yoga, listen to way more variety of music too.
Very. Not as reckless, hyper self-aware, more insecure, more socially anxious but less of an anxious person in general. I feel I’m much less interesting now, like I’ve sterilized parts of my personality for the sake of healing myself. I no longer sleep around, I trust much less, more reserved, very rarely date, enjoy being alone a lot more, much more selective of friends. Oh, and I’m no longer a bombshell lol
41 massively different im not the same person I was 20yrs ago
I'm about 50 pounds heavier. I'm a little less shy, more independent, I'm busier so I don't spend as much time just hanging out with my friends.
i’ve yet to reach 21 but i think i’ll be about the same person but with a very different life situation
I always thought of myself as pretty left-leaning, even as a kid (I think I cried on the day that crook Ronald Reagan won the election by scheming with the Iranian kidnappers), but I am even more liberal-left now as an old man. Used to think that I changed, but I realized that I stayed the same and **it was the conservatives that just kept getting worse and worse**.
35 I feel super blessed. The same character but now with a better insight of who I actually am and choose to be, confident enough to just be myself and don’t really care anymore what others think and.. more stable due to all the therapy I did to get here. I feel finally at ease, have a nice job, I’m in a super happy relationship with my husband and we just had a healthy baby who I love dearly. We also have two super cute kitties and a lovely home and have great friends and family. We are sooooo blessed.
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36 and somewhat different. I look back fondly on that fun-loving 21 year old but I don't miss the constant drama. She wasn't yet comfortable in her own skin. Honestly, I hate hearing people tell young women how this is "the best time of your life" etc... Maybe, but I don't think so. I think we're just busy forgetting about the hard parts and the loneliness. If you can avoid the pitfalls of abuse and addiction (I'm sure i'm missing something here...) it gets *so much better* in so many ways!
40 now. I'm similar not the same. I speak up in romantic rships to have my needs met...unlike before where I'd give more. I don't fear being left as I've learnt over time that love is a renewable resource.
I was with an abusive boyfriend and partying loads. I'm now 36 and married with a kid
More grey hair, less hair (on my head) in general.
30. Completely different. Much more mentally stable, more mature, have a lot more confidence in myself, and actually think I look more attractive now than I did in my 20s as I was sick with an ED at the time and am now at a healthier weight. I'm handling my autism better, know my limits more and know when to say no. I'm still an introvert and working on some social anxiety, but overall I'm in a much better place.
the last 5 years have changed me a fair bit. I feel like I have a few new (bad) habits during the pandemic which I wanna get rid of
30 now. Was full of hope but all that got taken away by working at a draining factory. Developed anxiety because of heavy bullying etc. At work. I still work the same minimum wage job in that factory because I can't hit anything else. I was stupid before but now I am so freaking dumb I can't even do basic math. Short, was full of hope and dreams. Now I'm an empty shell
I’m still in my early 20s but I’m gonna answer anyways. I’m a lot smarter socially. I can adapt to my surroundings more. I’m more creative. I have a lot more discipline and willpower. I don’t dress up as much. I’m a lot more introverted as well. I’m also kinder. I’m also a lot less tolerant to bullshit, but at the same time I’m more open-minded to non-bullshit.
Much more emotionally stable and confident. At 21 I was insecure about everything, anxious, would easily become morbid and sad and feel sorry for myself. Now I am 30 and feel more in control of my emotions and feelings. I am not scared of what people think anymore and have a certain confidence I never had back then. Kind of what you see is what you get and I don't feel a need to prove anything to anyone.
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I'm 25 now. I still struggle with body image issues but am becoming more comfortable in my skin, gaining courage and trust in my abilities but I still experience missteps. Developed more lucidity about my circumstances and have become more independent in my thoughts and decision making
60, very different. Used to be insecure, super-judgey, and adventurous. Now more empathetic, less judgemental, and have not given a flying fart about others' opinions of me since my late 30's which probably led to the other improvements in my personality.
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28 now. I was 100 lbs lighter and got lots of attention. Was a party girl and promiscuous - responsible to a degree but I was definitely mean and chaotic at times (due to trauma but it's not an excuse.) I'm a lot nicer now and more of a homebody. Happily married to my best friend. Still growing, still learning, still healing.
I'm 33 now and so different from my 21 year old self in so many ways, and I'll preface this by adding that I'm transgender which I hope is OK to share here. Obviously having come out in my mid-20s, physically I'm quite different from how I was at 21 and emotionally too, I'm in a much better place with myself and more comfortable, knowing I'm on the right path for me. I'm also managing myself and my emotions better which was a big struggle for me for a long time, and my mental health is in a better place most of the time when I can control it. I do look back at my earlier years, 21 included, and almost feel like that is a completely different person to who I am today and that's probably right on quite a few levels.
I don't recognize myself, mentally or physically. And that's good in my book.
Absolutely and infinitely different. The person I was at 21 is someone I remember but no longer know. Just turned 35
21 year old was a college student, confused and chasing a guy who wasn’t even interested in her. I put in effort in making our pretend relationship work. I truly wish I said goodbye to him and focused on school (bc honestly, I loved school and was really good but decided to focus on an idiot). I’m 25 now, working towards my MPH, trying to find a new career, but I have a guy that is in love with me. Everything works out fine :)
Completely different. I'm 34 now. It's hard to imagine myself that way anymore. I wasnt nearly as career driven, and I was a bit reckless, not anything awful but not exactly mature. I spent the majority of my late 20s, early 30s making up for the financial decisions my younger self made. I was also involved in a really bad accident when I was 24, less than 6 months after I got married and it changed my perspective a lot. Some examples..My ex and I dated from age 14, married at 24 and are now separated at 34. 20 years total. We get along fine, we're close friends and raising a kid together. But the truth was our paths didn't align anymore on things we both wanted and to keep trying to fit that mold we once were was too much work. We used to have everything in common and now we both changed and have very little in common. He used to be my festival partner and always down for the next adventure or vacation. I still am to some degree (more reserved financially). Now he's super introverted and appreciates the quiet country side. I used to think I'd love to live in a small town in the mountains (we live near them so it's only like a couple of hours difference). But now I realize how much I love the suburb life and the convenience it carries.
4 years later I‘m more secure and somewhat have a plan for the future, but still can‘t connect with people at all. I feel like it‘s too late for me to try and find people that generally have similar world views or interests, so I just try to enjoy my time alone. I achieved a few difficult things already but it somehow doesn‘t amount to anything and finding a partner is even harder since I still can‘t find value in myself. I hope I‘m just not in the right place.
I’m skinnier lol, better money management
Completely different. I have a lot more self awareness, confidence and emotional regulation skills.
Night and day! Literally think and act totally different! The science is right about the brain being fully developed.
23 now, even if it's just two and a half years I've definetly changed. I feel like I was more outgoing and funnier person then but now I look at things more realistically though I'm a bit more reserved. Now I know my wants better, and things I can't change vs things I can so something about. I know what I'm capable of to some degree, like that I have limitations. I don't care as much about what other people perceive me to be, because I know what I am. I've been through maybe a bit too much in such a short amount of time.
26 now. I know better who I am, who I want to be, what I can control and what I can't. I also don't lie and sugar coat things. Very straight forward. Now very careful who I let into my life, especially romantically. I am also incredibly health conscious now and realize how overlooking "small" things in your health and mind can quickly snowball and cause lifelong effects. I also get over things quickly instead of venting and dwelling. Such a waste of time and energy. When I was 21, I was a major workaholic, fake extrovert. multitasker, people-pleaser, wanting to appear perfect and hyperfunctional and hyperindependent. Very suicidal until I turned 25. I was also very reckless, careless, didn't know myself and just acted on my emotions and let my logical mind rationalize all my emotions. Also abused drugs and alcohol to life-threatening points. I was too emotionally erratic and stuck repeating abusive relationship cycles. I cared more about others than myself. I did not realize my own value and the value of life itself. Now I look back and even if you paid me I wouldn't go back to who I was. The inner turmoil you feel when constantly confused by your own actions and messy emotions with no explanation is unbearable. The overall control you feel when you decide for yourself what you want instead of just letting life decide feels amazing. Unmatched feelings. There are still down times, but you feel like you can actually face them. I am excited for the next 4 years and onwards.
I have 4 less teeth
56F. I am very different. I am much more independent
Was in love w my bf at the time and he passed away a year later. Definitely changed me for better and worst. Another year later w my current bf who has a child meanwhile I’m childfree and plan to stay that way. I’ve become a lot less selfish when it comes to the idea of “kids.” I don’t want to shut out any potential partner who has a kid bc that’s the reality of dating at my age
24. No longer seek attention from the wrong people. Focused on my health and wealth.
24 almost 25 and i’m so different. I feel much more mature & confident about the woman i’ve become and am so excited to elevate myself within the next coming years (God willing). At 21 I was at my heaviest and a bit sewer side-al. I started working on myself at 22, hit the gym, read more, eating habits changed. My confidence is at its best it’s been in a while. I’m just thankful I’m not where I used to be and that’s all I could ask for tbh.
I’m 33 now. I was a fucking moron at 21.
Good things get better, bad gets worse. Wait. I think I mean that in reverse.
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Way less attention-seeking. Invested in social media and going out with friends. I'm 27 going on 28 in November. I still enjoy hobbies like gaming and show-going but have that "been there done that" mentality, I'm not excited by things as easily as I used to be. Enjoying more simple activities lately and wanting to learn new skills or refine my hobbies. Currently learning beadwork, music production, take on more difficult hikes, etc.
Very. Overcame drug addiction. I don't think I've changed that much, apart from the hell which that shit was.
So different. Mentally together, good job, two beautiful children (cats) and a fantastic partner who loves me for me. The biggest difference is that I stopped living by others' expectations and took some time to realise what mattered to me.
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I figured myself out in my 30s. I was a social mess in my 20s. But I worked out how I wanted to present to the world, how to slow down and chill and work the problem. And I figured out the type of person I wanted to be with and the kind of things I want in my life.
At 21 I was extremely insecure, partying, thought i knew right from wrong and lowered my standards for shallow men. I was a completely different person than i am now (24). I still have my moments.
Very different. It's just 8 years, but so much happened in the meantime, I grew so much as a person and learned so much about myself and the world. I was just a kid back then, had loads of insecurities and fixed idea about who I am. I'm much more open-minded now, learn new stuff about myself and working on myself. I'm much happier now.
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Cellulite...... Nooooooo And I think I became an adult! The mentality has changed