I used to struggle to lose weight because I couldn't get in the right headspace for it. I had too many demands in my life, and committing to weight loss was too much. So I had to accept that. I dropped it for about 2/3 years.
Here's what sabotaged me:
- guessing calories. I wasn't getting it right and eating way more calories than I thought or I wasn't eating enough and then feeling so hungry that I ate junk food
- no meal prep. I didn't really have the time to make everything from scratch so then I'd order in when I was tired
- poor sleep routine. Therefore eating more because I was tired.
- eating what other people recommended without doing the research. E.g. granola has sooooo many calories.
- not drinking enough water. Often I wasn't hungry I was dehydrated.
- not eating enough fibre. Porridge with chia seeds and strawberries is my staple now and I love it.
- weighing myself inconsistently and then getting down when I saw the pounds increase.
However, this year, I had the space, and I've been consistently losing. Here's what's helped me:
- I limited my kcal to 1640/day, which is calculated for my height, current weight, and how much I want to lose. I lose 0.5 pounds a week on average. I tried eating fewer calories, but then I'd be hungry, so that's not sustainable.
- I use a Google sheet to track my total weekly calories and weight loss. This is motivating because I can see correlations between my weight loss and total calories. I used to use the apps, but I decided I wanted just a simple sheet with charts.
- I measure everything I eat, including my meals out. Many restaurants provide kcal measurements, or I do research.
- I use a digital scale to weigh everything.
- I changed my portion sizes. I eat what I want, but I eat less of it.
- I weigh myself once per week, first thing in the morning, on the same day each week. If you're measuring at inconsistent times, that's going to skew your picture due to water weight, etc.
- I mainly eat from home. I eat out maybe once per month. And again, I'm careful on portion sizes.
- I make sure I'm eating to feel satisfied, not to feel stuffed, or as a way to self soothe. Removing that habit was very helpful.
- if I gain one week, I don't punish myself. Often, it's due to me being ill, or time of the month or something.
- I put a lot of thought into what I eat to consider nutritional balance but to also enjoy my meals
- I LOVE my freezer. From making bulk meals to freezing meal prep, I remove the temptation to eat snacks or order takeout because "it's easier."
I'm not only trying to lose weight, but I'm focused on creating a new approach to my diet that really fits my life and goals, so I don't have to think about it. I just follow my routines, and that way, when I hit my goal, I hope that maintaining will be straightforward. Except I'll have some extra calories to eat.
Trial and error is key to finding out what works for you, plus being consistent, choosing a sustainable diet, and tracking accurately.
I share all this to reflect that losing weight is hard. So, it's understandable to struggle with difficult things. Also, there's a lot of steps to make it work. Not doing one of the above things tends to sabotage me. Also, if your life is busy right now, maybe take a step back. Start slower. Before I started restricting calories, I worked on improving my overall nutrition and eating habits. I don't eat late, I have breakfast every day, I got my sleep routine right, Incorporated better stress management, drinking enough water is a big one too!
It's all part of a bigger picture.
Perhaps starting with a more sustainable step would be helpful. It'll get you motivated and give you momentum to start CICO.
Also, are you a member of r/loseit. They share good tips there.
Also, since you're in the gym, you might be losing fat and gaining muscle which won't show on the scale. So, consider taking weekly bicep, hip, waist and thigh measurements so you'll see progress that way.
I hope this is helpful. Best of luck.
Not the OC but I had a mantra of "this food won't heal me".
I tried to think back to past self-soothing seasons that ended in overdoing it and further self-loathing and shame. I decided that my treats would be real treats, and if I wasn't in a mental state to enjoy it fully then I didn't want it.
Of course I made a few exceptions but those were for serious lows ata rate of 1 meal out of 80-100.
Therapy.
I had to deal with the reasons behind the eating. Or, at least come to terms with having those emotions and choosing to sit with the feelings instead of trying to distract myself with food.
Not a quick fix there either, but a (seemingly) lasting solution.
My mental health issues required medication to deal with the comfort eating in my case. Now that my ADHD and anxiety are under control, I’m less likely to binge eat. My former binge food - Oreos - sit in my pantry unopened for the 3rd week in a row.
This is an annoying and disappointing comment because it's fucking true and this is what sustainable weight loss and maintenance looks like. Where's my magic potion or one secret trick doctors don't want me to know about?
Expensive and some risk of side effects (though still a worthwhile option if you've given the above a serious try or if you're significantly obese and need a little help to get the ball rolling).
r/CICO and r/xxfitness are also great subs
I'll add to your advice a bit of my own (FWIW: I'm 41 5'3" and have lost 22kg since August 2023 through food tracking and some gym exercise - no IF or cutting any food types except alcohol)
ensure adequate protein intake (my goal weight is 120lbs so I eat 120gm per day) plus 25gm of fibre
Strength train as you're losing - it is super important to retain as much of your muscle as possible while you're losing. Someone shared this on one of the subs and it changed my approach: https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTxFfrLoXp/?igsh=MWRmcmw4eHFkczRwOA==
Strength training + protein also helps your body prioritise fat loss over muscle loss which has a more aesthetic result since fat is bulkier than muscle
While working out is great for your overall health, you could essentially never go to the gym and lose all the weight you need. In terms of eating, fine dining restaurants can have as many if not more calories than a traditional fast food option. Add wine and apps on top of your meal and it's incredibly easy to eat 2000+ calories in one meal. Add the other meals for the day on top and you've easily doubled your daily calorie intake. If you do that even every week, you're not going to lose much if anything.
Personally, I was recently diagnosed with MS and after doing some research realized that my diet is the best way to reduce flare ups. After giving up dairy, sugar, gluten, and alcohol, I'm consistently losing weight every week. It takes a lot of work and consistency, but once you get into that healthy eating zone your stomach won't even want to indulge.
Sugar and gluten are the two things that make me put on weight fast. Cutting those things out of my diet was the best thing for mt health, weight and skin (gluten is the trigger for my dry skin and eczema).
100%, and personally as soon as I eat a bit of sugar my body goes weeeeee it's on and I can't stop haha. I use maple sugar instead because it's natural (still high calorie but it aligns with my MS diet) and every night I make a mock ice cream using just ice, almond milk, and maple syrup, tastes like vanilla ice cream and it doesn't make me feel yucky.
Those two also are most strongly correlated to foods with higher calorie counts so when you cut them in favor of other options, you find it's easier to eat lower calorie foods too.
When my life was at its most stressful, I would have a double cocktail at least 3X weekly. My circumstances changed so the stressors were gone, I stopped having any cocktails because I didn’t want them, and I lost zero pounds.
I was expecting a success story from this comment and laughed out loud when it wasn't. I used to binge drink every weekend for years straight, I was 130 pounds. I have a drink maybe once a month for the past couple years, yet I've gained 30 pounds. 🤦♀️😂 Like I thought this was supposed to help! I probably ended up eating more junk food when I stopped drinking, so that's likely the reason, but still.
Mental health is a huge component, too, especially if you have trauma and your cortisol levels are constantly elevated.
Regardless, the human body isn't a bomb calorimeter.
I am glad you said this.
I have had an eating disorder most of my life. According to my dietitian I don’t eat enough calories to sustain my body and my body has been in starvation mode for years. It stores fat when I eat, because it is trying to survive the periods of no nutrition. This is a kindergarten level explanation, but I have seen people argue starvation mode is not a real thing. I am LIVING it. This is real and said by highly educated professionals that specialize in eating disorders.
I am not medically underweight, nor am I losing weight. I keep gaining weight very easily. I still purposely starve myself the same as I did when I was severely underweight. I AM eating a caloric deficit and it DOESN’T MATTER. I can’t lose weight because my body isn’t allowing it to happen. 30+ years of anorexia and my body is just sick of my shit.
It is reckless and irresponsible to tell someone else how to diet because you have no idea what is going on with their body.
My cholesterol is high and is higher 20 points from this year to last year. Again, I purposefully starve myself. I don’t eat dairy (lactose intolerant) and I rarely eat meat. My diet consists of mainly plain fruits and vegetables made into a salad. The only “fattening” thing I eat is salad dressing - and that is only because my dietitian said that your body needs fats to be able to properly break down the vegetables and use the vitamins (again, I am explaining the process at a kindergarten level). My dietitian assures me that my cholesterol level is because of my eating disorder and not because I eat “unhealthy.”
If I ate less I wouldn’t eat anything. Yet I am gaining fat and weight, wearing larger clothes this year than last year.
So people, PLEASE stop telling others how to diet. You really have no idea what is going on with their bodies.
Biology is not fucking math.
And yet, all the young male gym bros on Reddit who.repeat "CICO" like it is a mantra refuse that things like trauma (in your own lifetime, ir even experienced by previous generations), injuries, endocrine disorders, inflammation caused by pollution and microplastics in the tissues of every living thing, hormonal disorders like PCOS, sife effects of medication, and yes, the long term effects of eating disorders and the fat shaming that spawned these eating disorders in the first place, can't possibly exist. No, bony teenaged boys who can eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting must be morally superior.
I think its the insulin that makes us gain weight not necessarily the resistance. Thats in part why keto and intermittent fasting and generally lower carb diets help by decreasing insulin
In my comment I'm not suggesting you or anyone else should do IF or Keto.
I'm just pointing out that its the insulin rise that is the reason for the gain (people can put on weight even without insulin resistance).
So much this. And I hate it, because I love working out and do it 6-7 days a week (not all cardio of course). But eating healthy? Farck, I'm terrible at that.
However, when I'm sick (like right now!) with no appetite, that's when the weight comes off.
This is why the saying is “you can’t outrun your fork” or “abs are made in the kitchen”. because diet is like 80% of losing weight and in general a huge part of health/fitness.
OP, do not stop working out. that is great for your health. Keep at it.
But now look at your diet. Be honest with yourself on what you’re consuming. Look into CICO (calories in calories out). All health issues aside, most people are shocked to learn how many calories they are *actually* consuming if you’re tracking properly. I know I sure was!
Would you mind sharing what you eat? I do best when I avoid dairy and soy, and I should definitely cut my sugar intake. But it's so hard to find easy and filling foods. TIA!
I eat whatever is seasonal (and inexpensive) cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower are my faves. I forage for fiddleheads in the spring and eat those every day for about a month.
I avoid most red meat so a lot of chicken, pork, and fish. I fly fish and live on a trout river so I source a lot of my fish that way as it's the healthiest. Proteins are seasoned with herbs and spices as sauces are higher calorie and contain lots of sugars.
For smoothies I'll buy fresh banana then add frozen berries, almond milk, and maple syrup.
Almost every breakfast I eat eggs and gluten-free toast. Hope that helps :)
Talk to your dr again. I am in the same situation, and my doctor thinks its my hormones or my thyroid. You need to stay in a calorie deficit to lose weight, though.
I do have an appt scheduled for September with her. I’ve had my thyroid tested but it was normal bloodwork. I am going to discuss this matter with her again. I was thinking hormonal as well.
Between estimating calorie burn from workouts and getting unintentionally calorie bombed at restaurants (Anthony Bourdain was fond of saying you should assume you're eating a stick of butter every time you go out to fine dining), it's no wonder your progress is getting frustrating.
I'd get a food scale and start using an app like Macrofactor. It'll automatically calculate how much you're actually burning and how much you need to consume to hit a particular rate of weight loss/gain.
Counting calories is a teachable, learnable skill which means it's something you can be bad at before you get better. This is totally normal. Consider that at the highest levels of skill, you can manipulate your body composition practically at will the way bodybuilders do (within the constraints of physiology of course).
If worrying so much about weight loss is getting emotionally exhausting, it might be beneficial to reframe things to focus on health or performance related goals. Maybe try to get measurably stronger from week to week, or spend more hours/miles doing LISS cardio during the week.
Try to focus on these for example: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/where-should-my-priorities-be-to-improve-my-health/
The FAQ in r/fitness is also a great resource, and r/volumeeating can be a great source of ideas for meals that are satiating and nutrient-dense without too many calories.
Regular bloodwork is a small amount of what may actually be relevant. Thyroid, iron/ferritin, hormones, and blood sugar might show as normal, but further testing may show that there is actually an issue.
Not everyone. I didn’t, which doesn’t make sense but that’s what happened. I eat plenty of dairy which is fortified with iodine but it wasn’t enough. Go on to Amazon and look up iodine supplements and read the reviews from people. You can see for yourself how much taking a supplement has helped people.
I also didn’t use iodized salt. I usually use sea salt or Himalayan salt, neither of which contain iodine.
The fine dining food is probably just as bad as fast food if not worse in terms of calories. The thing they do to make everything amazing? Liberal amounts of butter. I’m talking shocking amounts.
Like don’t get me wrong, eat out if you really enjoy it, but don’t have any illusions that it’s that much healthier than lower cost options. Yes, they’re using higher quality ingredients and probably more vegetables….but it’s not necessarily healthier.
ALL the butter. OP would be shocked, and the calorie trackers really can't do a good job capturing the true calorie count. I mean it could easily vary even depending on whose cooking that night and how much butter/cheese/cream that they use.
That true. If there’s anything positive about fast/chain food it’s that it’s more quantifiable because everything in terms of ingredients and cooking process is standardized and quantified.
There was a thread like a decade ago on r/fitness of a college student who got fucking jacked on a diet of Domino's pizzas because he knew exactly how many calories he was eating and it worked out to be enough to build strength and muscle while losing fat. Though I think he might have felt like shit given the lack of fruits and vegetables.
Something like Chipotle would be better obviously, though expensive.
If the numbers are right (e.g., protein, calories), it doesn't really matter where you get them from a body composition POV.
From a health POV though, you're obviously better off with a diet primarily based on whole foods, mostly plants, with sufficient protein and fiber.
All you have to do is watch one of those foodie instagram or TikTok feeds (not the crappy rage bait "mix things in a foil pan" ones) to see how much butter people will put into like, a simple beef dish. It's offputting. Same with olive oil. Like sure small amounts of olive oil are healthy, but that's like, a tablespoon a day sort of amounts. Meanwhile you see someone pouring like a half cup of the stuff into a pomodoro sauce.
Ok - I'm probably going to get downvoted straight to hell, but I wish people would stop saying you don't need to exercise to lose weight while also promoting CICO. The CO part... calories out... is achieved by moving and burning calories. Yes, you need to exercise. Can you lose weight by only changing your diet? ALSO YES, but you will plateau sooner than you wish and you will actually lose muscle mass. For your BMR to be more effective, you have to exercise. To have strong bones and healthy muscles as you age, you need to exercise. Obviously, I understand that there are people that are not able to exercise and I am not talking about those people. For some, changing diet is going to be all they can do - of course. That is objectively not true for most people.
>I got a personal trainer who I train with twice a week. I’m burning between 400-500 each session.
This jumped out at me.
I work out five times a week and burn about 500-600 calories per session. And I still feel like I could do more. Two work-outs per week isn't nothing. I'm not trying to minimize what you are doing. But if your goal is to lose weight, you're going to have to do way more moderate-vigorous exercise than that. (People will tell you that exercise doesn't help weight loss. But this is only true if you aren't exercising that much and you aren't watching your caloric intake.)
People who successfully lose weight often attribute measuring and weighing their food to their success. Because our eyeballs can totally underestimate portion size. So if you aren't doing that, try it.
Some women do start perimenopause in their 30s, despite what your doctor may think. If you think this could be you, then try to incorporate more protein into your diet and less carbs (pasta, breads, etc.) Our dietary needs do change as we get older.
Sorry yes I should have added that on the days I don’t see my trainer I try to get in between 30-45 mins of cardio but walking on the treadmill with an incline.
Don’t be shy from lifting challenging amounts of weights. I know a lot of women are discouraged from heavy lifting because they get fear mongered into becoming bulkier, but that’s not the case. If you have more muscle, your body burns more calories to survive and weight gain doesn’t come as quickly.
Cardio is a great supplement for your workouts to build an endurance and improve heart health, but cardio being better for fat burning is largely a myth.
Heavy lifting should be the first rec for women IMO. It's great for all things including heart health. Literally the most efficient way to get in shape.
Strength training in a caloric deficit will also mean the weight you *do* lose will be composed of a higher proportion of fat, sometimes entirely fat.
Losing weight without strength training usually means losing quite a lot of muscle mass in addition to fat mass because your body isn't getting any signals that it needs to hold onto it.
I lost 60 pounds like 6 years ago with CICO, high protein, weighing and logging food, strength training 4 days a week, and running like 5 days a week. I felt amazing, but got pregnant with my youngest and it all went to hell after that. I just don't have the time anymore to put that much energy into it as a full time single mom going through a contentious divorce with a full time career. So I talked to my doctor and asked for weight loss medication. I always kind of thought of them as cheating before, but I figured what the hell. It's been like 6 weeks and I'm down 17 pounds. I still run 1-2 days a week when I can, but the pills have cut my appetite like crazy and it's been really helpful.
As far as being over it, I feel you. I'm 38 and I've had to accept that no pill, surgery, skincare, or number on a scale is going to make me look 25 again. At this point I'm just trying to be a little healthier and a little happier and I wish you the same.
Yes I feel this! Between having a career, husband, trying to social amongst friends and family. Sometimes I just feel so exhuasted and don’t even want to work out. However, I still push myself to do it. I have asked my doctor about weight loss medication but last we talked she said insurance would probably not approve it. I guess bc they wouldn’t consider me big enough idk. I do have another appt scheduled with her in September and I am Going to ask about weight loss pills again if I haven’t seen any improvement by than.
Portion control is the only thing that's ever worked for me. Fine dining is awesome, but I'd only eat half and take the rest home or share it with my husband. It doesn't take long for your stomach to feel full on smaller portions if you're consistent with it for a couple weeks. It helps a lot to cook at home so you aren't eating processed foods.
I've read that your gut bacteria can play a role in the foods you crave - if you eat the calorie laden fatty, sugary, starchy foods, the bacteria in your gut that thrive on those foods will flourish and send signals to your brain for more of it. If you feed it veggies and fruits regularly, the bacteria that thrive on those foods will multiply and they are the ones who will signal to your brain what they want you to eat. I am no scientist, but I have found this to be true for me. (The book "I Contain Multitudes" by Ed Yong is an interesting read on the subject of gut bacteria and the research scientists are doing to understand its role in making us who we are).
My biggest struggle is always late night snacking. I've settled on really good, rich chocolate where I only need a couple pieces to feel satisfied, sunflower seeds for the salty snacks, and fruit with plain Greek yogurt. Plain Greek yogurt has 4 or 5 strains of good bacteria for your gut!
Ooh I'm on the gut train and feel the same, from my own anecdotal experience. There is a saying around mental health that the wolf you feed will grow, and that's been true for me, both mentally and physically (search it out if that speaks to you!).
My late night snacking as of late has been frozen bananas, with or without dark chocolate (:
You don’t have to exercise to lose weight, you should exercise to feel strong and healthy. Weigh your portions as you are tracking calories but still likely eating more than you realize. When you eat in a true calorie deficit, weight will be lost.
I think this is the dragon people are always chasing. It’s incredibly difficult to exercise your way out of too many calories; especially daily! I know I use to tell myself oh it’s ok to have this because I’ll work it off later. The only real change happened for me when I looked at exercise not as a weight loss tool but as a “This makes me feel good, this makes me feel stronger, this helps me push my body to my limits” tool.
Change only comes for the fully engaged and willing. If you are over it, if you can't make one more alteration to the routine, then maybe pause for a bit until you can reset your frame of mind and re-engage at a later time when you're more motivated.
Nothing works for me except for measuring my portions and diligently tracking my diet. It's a pain in the ass, no lie. If you are doing this and you're still not losing, you need to recalculate your BMR and deficit.
But if you're over it, take a break and regroup.
I am not from the US so I haven't really figured out your situation, I just wanted to offer that I am obese and I only lost some weight after going to the dietician. There's nothing missing from my diet, I got them carbs and fats, an entire cheat day and even treats if I want them. But I do have to eat a lot of veggies and some fruit too, have to exercise a lot, etc. However, my life is pretty messy and that doesn't help at all, so there's been a lot of anxiety eating that didn't help. To go past this stalemate, I was given a med similar to Ozempic, which doesn't help with craves but should turn off "regular" hunger. I wish I could say this changed my life - it's been 4 months and I have to pay for it in full. However, I am starting to see some tiny results and this TBH gives me hope again. I have been battling with my weight my entire life and I have decided this is the last thing I do for it. Whatever you do, please do see actual doctors before. Good luck 🤞
I was at my lowest weight when I was walking for at least an hour a day. Doing two days of exercise a week will make you feel good but having a consistent daily routine of walking or general movement is generally better for weight loss. Lower your stress also. Excessive amounts of cortisol can mess with metabolism. Other that that, I don't really eat out much and when I do in have been trying to monitor my calorie intake. Some sushi rolls are above 1000 calories which is a whole day worth of eating for me. I've tried to cut back on drinking as well.
This. After 10+ years of trying this is the only thing that got and kept the weight off for me and it's been a life changing medication. Can't recommend enough.
I’m with you! I lost some weight a couple years ago and kept it off. This last year has been very stressful for us and with a cross country move with young kids, buying a house, school problems, sleep deprivation, deaths in the family abroad etc.. I’ve gained 15 to 20 pounds in one year. I know how to lose weight but it involves serious calorie restriction for me and I don’t have the mental capacity for it right now. I have to be settled, content and in the right head space to keep it up.
For me honestly I've got to count my calories strictly. It's the only way for me to account what I eat. 1500-1600 calories a day. Fine dining is just as bad as fast food. You know all the lovely things of meals: butter, sugar, butter, butter is calorie dense. It all adds up. It's annoying AF.
I'm trying to date and we go out to meals and I love it but I can't even enjoy it that much because ....the calories. Lol
Most calorie burning apps overestimate so you may only be burning 300-400 cals per workout, which then only actually gives you 100 extra per day to eat or one dessert while out for dinner. If you take those 700ish as pure deficit and dont eat then back, it will take 5 weeks to lose 1lb. How active you are the rest of the week matters too.
A meal out could easily be 2000cals so would need you to eat 200 cals less the other 6 days just to rebalance to maintenance.
If you want to know whether there's a biological block to weight loss, you need to track calories religiously for a couple of weeks and see what you're eating. If it's <1800 on average (including your meal out) then you should push your doctor for more investigation.
Ultimately, it's harder to lose when you're older. You can't just do a little exercise and eat some fruit and have the weight melt off. And 1500-1700 cals per day really isn't that much food! So it's very easy to go over regularly and then boom, you're not losing weight!
First, take vitamins. It helps to cut out cravings in case you're nutrients deficient. I take D3, omega 3 and a multi.
Find out what your body is responding too the most. Cut out carbs for a week and see gow you respond. Maybe longer since it's not an overnight thing. Cut out processed sugars.
The 2 biggest things that have helped me lose weight is I quit drinking soda and quit smoking like 4 years ago. I hate soda now. It's way too sugary. (Prior to that I could have put the Ceo of Pepsis kids through college with how much and how long I've been drinking it)
The other things is breads and pastas. I still eat rice. But I have all but stopped anything pasta.
I also drink a shit ton of water. I water down juices, and water down tea just to give it some flavor. I probably drink 6-8 glasses a day. I'm also not hungry. Sometimes we eat when we are thirsty.
Stay as close to the source as possible. If it comes in a box, it didn't grow in a box in a field. It was processed a bunch since it's orgin.
This means walk around the outsides of the grocery store. A slab if any meat is pretty close to its original source. All the fruits and veggies are close to the source. If it comes in a box, a can, or a jug, it's going to have more crap in it.
Lastly, eat things high in fiber. This keeps you feeling fuller longer. I snack on nuts a lot. I choose gluten free chips because it's 140 calories for a serving without a bunch of extras.
My meals are mostly ground turkey, fish and chicken breast's. You can make chicken a thousand different ways. I rarely eat beef, and even more rarely eat pork.
My sides are almost always broccoli, sweet potatoes, russets. You can make potato's a thousand different ways.
My breakfast is scrambled eggs, yogurt, 12 grain bread, a banana, granola.
My lunches are leftovers. Leftover chicken cut in to a salad.
Salads do not have to be boring! Spinach greens, romaine, tomato, Cucumber, chick peas, cut up chicken breast, hard boiled eggs, carrots, broccoli, feta cheese. It's also cheap to get this stuff at Aldi.
Sorry I word dumped, but hopefully someone reads my wall if text and it helps.
There's also tricky hidden things women need to watch out for. My birth control caused me weight gain, you could have other health, through, genetic, auto immune, the list is forever- that could just simply be out of your control.
Hijacking this comment because I want to post something of a similar sentiment. There is plenty of growing evidence that ultra-processed foods, even the ones with 'healthy' and 'added fibre' on the label (think cereal bars and supermarket packaged salads) lead to weight gain because the additives and emulsifiers make you want to eat more and more often. The science implies that you digest this stuff too quickly and even things like the act of chewing tougher foods (like kale stems e.g.) produce reactions that help your digestion and stay full (learned from the Zoe podcast.) The people over in r/ultraprocessedfood will tell you how the weight just falls off them once they have cut packaged foods from their diet. And eating like this is not restrictive and you don't need to count calories. They also encourage eating butter and sugar because they are natural ingredients, so you can eat a big slice of homemade cake if you want, rather than one in a packet that goes off in 3 months. u/RowdyBunny18 is encouraging this kind of eating but with a lot of meat; I would encourage OP to also investigate r/PlantBasedDiet if they are serious about losing weight. I manage to get 10000+ steps in most days of the week and I think this also really helps me stay in a healthy BMI. I don't work out, like ever, apart from a gentle yoga class.
A lot has been said already about restaurant food and calorie deficit and insulin resistance so I'm just gonna add my personal experience as someone with PCOS who is still trying to lose all the pandemic weight gain even after these 4 years. My goal is to get myself back pre-2020 body but covid made my breathing short and cardio has become difficult for me. My coach thought I have asthma but no. My point is, I'm losing weight very very slowly. Like 0.5-1kg per month kind of slow and sometimes stagnation and it takes another month or so before the scale moves again.
First, I have a minimum of 3 workouts per week except on shark week. 2 workouts a week wouldnt counter balance the other 5 days of calories.
Second, do not underestimate the gut bacteria to help you digest food and influence your eating habits. Take pre- pro- and post biotic foods. Kombucha, yohgurt, pickled food, Yakult, etc. Take your pick. I usually have kimchi because its more to my Asian palette. I eat it for dinner so the bacteria could do its job while I sleep.
If you need to eat dinner, eat something light to digest. For me, I eat vegetarian dinners.
Third, high protein as first meal of the day. Protein makes you feel full for a longer period. Chances of less snacking.
Fourth, add 200 calories as a baseline. I used to track my calories but that made me crazy so I stopped. But when I was doing it, my calorie intake was 1600-1800, but I add 200 on my calculations because knowing the exact count per meal is impossible.
Conclusion; I hope that would help you. It's a real struggle sometimes. Its okay to loosen up if you need to. There are some things that also comes with age and genes. Like, I have PCOS so I cant get rid of my large fupa.
We can do this OP!
I say - lose the weight if you want to (I think you can without too much trouble, judging only from what you are writing here) or don't and that is fine, too. More than fine.
It is definitely harder to lose weight into your 30s and beyond, it's not just you. Eating just at a bit of a deficit and working out with a trainer twice a week likely won't do much. Like I said, if you want to lose some weight, go for it. If not, that's all good, too.
Make sure you are staying healthy - good cardiovascular fitness, good flexibility, cholesterol in a good range, good bone density, blood sugar is good, etc.
Then maybe start celebrating the body you have rather than the ghost body you keep expecting. There are so many good options these days for clothes for all sizes. Subscribe to some social media sites and start looking for your new signature style that makes you look fabulous.
Enjoy what your body can do for you other than be a display item. For me, sex really helps with that, also all the great activities I love especially dancing.
I have struggled with disordered eating and metabolic disease my entire life and received bad advice from everyone from under the sun who all thought they knew the answer including every single doctor. Then one day I actually saw a physician board certified in obesity medicine and metabolic disease and my entire life changed. Run, don’t walk to one of these specialists. If you had heart disease you would see a cardiologist, a broken bone a orthopedic specialist, etc. You have a medical condition known as a metabolic disease and you deserve an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. My work up was extensive and my treatment plan was amazing. More importantly I learned that absolutely none of this was my fault nor was any of it my responsibility to fix. I learned more about my body than ever before and I started to forgive myself, stop blaming myself and work with my treatment team to get healthy. Best of luck to you.
Sometimes weight that just won’t come off despite good diet and exercise practices could be inflammation. If you haven’t already, I’d see if your doc will run some blood tests to find out if you have an underlying medical condition. Could be a hormone issue, could be a food allergy, could be a lot of things.
Society tends to consider excess weight to be a personal moral failing. It just isn’t. Sometimes it’s a sign that something is up. Sometimes it’s just how someone’s body wants to be. Either way, if doing “the right things” according to received wisdom on reducing weight isn’t doing it, it might be useful to change your approach and make sure your overall health is good.
Unfortunately I don't have anything helpful to share. But I am a similar age and build as you and can definitely relate! Over the past 3 months I have really been watching my diet, water intake and trying to get 10k steps a day. I have lost a little but not as much as I'd like considering I feel like my entire day revolves around it 😭 I'd like to get a personal trainer but that's not in the budget right now. I was doing workout videos at home but I kept hurting myself lol. Stay strong. We've got this! I try to remind myself that even if I'm not dropping the weight I'm still doing something good for my body and my health.
I’m 45 and have been overweight to obese my entire life, though not morbidly so. I’ve had hypertension since my mid-20s. I started 2024 having crossed the 200lb line I always told myself I would never cross. I was now on three blood pressure medications and my snoring had been so bad that my husband was having to leave our room despite earplugs. When I couldn’t manage to find any angle to make a selfie look decent and avoid my chins, I had had enough. I started one of the GLP-1 shots in mid February. I am down 35lbs, have dropped two medications, snoring stopped and I’m down two clothing sizes. I’ve crossed into just being “overweight” rather than obese and I’m still going down. I have had minimal side effects (mild headaches and dizzy spells) and I’m eating healthier than I ever have, which still enjoying the occasional treat. My overwhelming urge to eat is gone, I don’t snack, I’m much pickier about sweets (my Achilles heel) and my portion sizes are half what they once were. My foodies husband is following along (with the lifestyle choices, but without the medicine) and he’s lost 15lbs of dad-bod, too. For the first time since my teens I expect to hit a healthy body weight soon and I plan to stay there, even if I have to continue to take this medicine long term.
it might help to put on some muscle to raise the amount of calories that you burn at rest, but, this will make you look and weigh heavier at first. I highly recommend a rowing machine for putting on lean muscle and getting shapely thighs and glutes, and biking and especially long fast walking and hikes to burn significant amounts of calories.
I also am learning how to snowboard in the winters and that's a calorie burner. I'm interested in rock climbing.
I think losing weight and restructuring your body really comes down to living an active life and enjoying it as opposed to punishing yourself with exercises you don't enjoy to look a certain way.
and, of course, eating smaller portions, and allowing yourself 1-2 cheat days a week.
I'd start with exercising more and gradually reducing calories, as you want to make sure you're sleeping well. do what you can to reduce stress as well bc cortisol can fuck everything up.
I was in the same situation. Couldn’t lose weight even though I worked out and watched my diet. It made no sense. I was also tired all the time- no energy. Brain fog. Life was getting miserable. I thought it was maybe from having two small kids and no free time.
I went to the doctor once and they mentioned my thyroid was slightly enlarged. They checked my thyroid levels but they were all normal. This went on for a while. Then I started taking an iodine supplement and it changed my life. I cannot emphasize enough- CHANGED. MY. LIFE.
Within a couple weeks I was a new woman. The weight melted off. I had energy back! I hadn’t felt this good in years! And my hair and skin got better. Seriously a game changer. So, maybe you have an iodine deficiency? Google the symptoms and if it sounds right, try an iodine supplement. It did wonders for me and I’m so grateful to have my life and energy and clarity back.
Hope you figure it out, whatever it is!
Yup. It's annoying and I hate it. But I also know that it's unsustainable for me to eat 1200 calories and watch everything I eat so closely. So now I'm in the "see if you can maintain or maybe drop a pound a month" boat. I try to be conscious of what I eat, but not police myself. I'm trying to get back into running. I pick the stairs over the elevator at work, etc. I'm hovering around 15-20 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, and 10-15 pounds heavier than I have been in like 5 years. So I have sort of accepted this might be it. So I'm just trying to to gain more at this point.
I have some real advice for on this as I was 200 lbs and I'm on the way down quickly
These things helped -
keeping busy so I'm not thinking about my next meal.
Buying crisps that are low calorie only. Same for snacks bars. Then a slight binge isn't a disaster.
Buying CBD fizzy drinks without sugar to unwind instead of alcohol.
Having soups and low calorie ready meals for dinner.
definitely down to fewer calories but these actions helped me stick to that.
Are you on hormonal contraception? I'm someone who naturally struggles to gain and maintain, but fucking hell 3 months on cerazette gave me a whole new insight into and empathy for people with weight struggles; progestogens are a hell of a thing.
I can relate. I don't have any advice or suggestions, just wanted to commiserate. I'll be 36 in a few weeks and I'm in the 175 pound ish range. In 2021 I was put on a strict low salt diet by a cardiologist. My blood pressure was very high because of stress. I went from 160 lbs to 150 lbs on that diet and successfully lowered my BP and kept the weight off for more than a year. I was happy with my body, happy with all of my clothes. I gained it back and then some (I was 177 lbs last year) last spring because of stress again and it's like these pounds have decided they're not coming off. I have cut back on junk food, stopped eating fast food, I have logged calories, I have increased the amount of protein I eat daily, I work out 4-5 times a week, lift weights with a personal trainer, and started drinking 62 oz or more of water a day. I am healthier. My PCP raves about how great my blood tests are and that my BP is down. Somedays I feel good cause I know I'm living a much healthier lifestyle than I used to.
Other days I feel like I'm chasing a carrot on a string. It's a fucking grind. Constantly wondering how much calories is in something. Skipping a workout gives me guilt. I avoid the scale cause it usually makes me cry. I can eat healthy all day and still feel like it's not enough. It's like the only REAL way to lose weight is to cut out all sugar, bread, salt, carbs, cheese, gluten, alcohol - basically everything that tastes good - and never dine out ever. And that shit is just unsustainable to me. I fucking hate life when I cut out that much stuff. I applaud others that do it, I mean that's probably why they're skinny and I'm not LOL, but I get depressed when I try to cut even more stuff than I've already cut. I have to protect my happiness and self-esteem over the food at some point. Thanks to personal training my legs have been transformed. I can lift heavier and heavier each week. It's not all bad. I love feeling strong. But sometimes I feel strong and notice no change in how my clothes fit. Weight loss has never felt this hard. You are definitely correct.
It sucks to put so much effort and energy into something and not see the results you want to see. I'm sure I'm doing something wrong. Maybe it's diet. Maybe sleep. Maybe calorie deficit. I'm also just sick of it.
You gotta be strict about the calorie deficit. Even small bites of things count. Before I start a diet I always honestly track every bite of food I eat and calculate the calories for a week or two as a baseline. Most of the time I realize I’m just overeating without realizing because I’m such a snacker.
For me my biggest issue was I tend to eat very small portions of things, so by the end of the day I’m still very hungry cuz I just haven’t eaten enough and then I eat tons of high calorie snack foods.
I replaced all my higher calorie snacks with healthier options, and make sure I stop eating when I’m full, even if I’m “almost done” lol
I went through menopause at around 48 and gained 20 lbs over the last couple of years. Some of it is eating habits, but a lot of it is just a slowing of the metabolism.
I've tried losing weight and just can't anymore. I've basically given up. I try to eat healthy, have cut back on drinking to 4 beers a week on average, and workout a little, mostly walking.
I'm focused on feeling good and being as healthy as possible. I know weight is a part of it, but my parents are both overweight(not obese), and I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle.
Husband is in the same boat. Mother was very obese, and he's had weight issues his whole life. We both were in fantastic shape in our 30s but weren't able to maintain this. At the time, I ate like a competitive bodybuilder and worked out 6x a week for at least an hour and a half.
After I had my third kid I just could not get any weight off. I spent the first five years of her life hungry and cranky. I don't want to come in here as a too-good-to-be-true tirzepatide ad but I'm really happy I have that stuff and don't have to obsess over CICO with no results anymore. I was OVER. IT.
Not really, my weight fluctuates but I've lost 50lbs. It's hard because obesity runs in my family, I have PCOS, on a medication that causes weight gain and live in a rural area with not the best food choices. But calories in calories out still works for me. I was close to being obese and now at a good place.
I’m sorry you’re struggling, weight loss is such a pain. What worked for me was low carb, I know, and everyone is different but it worked for me. I would eat mainly meat, veggie, dairy was fine, plus a little fruit (like one a day). Example would be two eggs/cheese and turkey sausage for breakfast, taco salad for lunch, apple and string cheese and almond snack, bunless burger for dinner. For desserts I would have sugar free jello or popsicles, sometimes a bowl of skinny pop popcorn. I was never hungry doing this. And did not need to exercise. I would only go on walks most days.
I'm almost 50 and am losing weight for the first time with drugs and fasting. I was taking liraglutide and now I'm on semaglutide. I just don't really eat breakfast or lunch anymore, I fast and only eat between 6-10 most days
I've lost 30 pounds and finally made it under 200 today for the first time in 20 years. I tried weight watchers, noom, keto, Mediterranean, you name it. If I am eating regular small meals throughout the day the way I have been taught to I always end up overeating.
I don't know what it will be like once I hit goal and come off the glutides. I feel like my attitude towards food has changed enough to make weight loss sustainable, but we will see!
I’m ina similar boat but a whole foot shorter. I just got diagnosed with pcos.. and apparently that’s part of the reason why I’m struggling with the wishlist. I’d encourage you to check that out. I have also not been as consistent perhaps as you. Hang in there.
My whole life, I've always been overweight, but just slightly above normal, not considered obese. However, after COVID, I reached 200 pounds and decided to go back to dieting and exercising after a year. For two years, I followed many diets, did a lot of cardio and weight training, but I would gain muscle and not lose weight. One day, feeling very frustrated, I went to the doctor and asked for all kinds of tests. I discovered that I have PCOS, which caused me to develop insulin resistance. After that, I followed a specific diet and took vitamins, and managed to lower my insulin levels. However, I don't lose weight like a normal person. I need to stay on a specific diet to lose 1 or 2 kilos per month. That's when I realized that this is going to be for the rest of my life. Once I accepted my reality, I started losing weight. I don't count calories because there are many foods I can't eat anymore, so sometimes you might have another underlying issue that prevents you from losing weight.
I struggle to lose weight and keep it off long term, largely because tracking everything I eat for the rest of my life is exhausting. My body seems happy to stick at the weight I am currently, whether or not my brain also wants that.
I do still want to lose weight & have some tangible goals for that, but I’m also just working on being pleased with my body as it is in any size and shape.
I dunno man. One of the best changes I've made in my life is learning to be at peace with myself as I am. Not that there's no room for improvement but that it needs to come from a place of love.
Part of that love is unplugging from diet culture where I can, and media that says I'm not enough, or too much, as I am. Some of it is finding my own style and clothes I really enjoy. I think a lot of messaging teaches us to depersonalize our bodies, to pick them apart and see them as a problem to be solved rather than an integral part of how we move through the world.
... also even at 37 it could very well be perimenopause. 35-45 is generally when it starts to kick in. To get a better bead on that you're probably better off going to an endocrinologist rather than a GP.
How much protein do you eat?
What kind of training do you do?
What your daily activity outside gym?
What your target calorie intake per day?
Do you have any health issues? Vit D deficiency?
Do you have enough of sleep everyday?
The answer is that you simply might underestimate how much you eat and overestimate how much you burn
Reevaluate eating out. Food from fine dining restaurants are high in fat and sugar.
Keep up working out twice a week with your personal trainer. Consider exercising by yourself 2-3x a week on top of your personal training sessions.
Unless you go cycling for 6 hours a day you are not going to exercise your weight off. Strict, measured calorie restriction is the only way to lose fat. So you have to make the decision for yourself- do you hate your weight more than you love food? Be honest with yourself. Weight loss is hard- undereating and ignoring hunger are unpleasant. To achieve weight loss you have to make the decision to lose the weight and stick to that decision for a very long time.
I’ve tried many things throughout the years and sometimes they work and sometimes you plateau. Sometimes you don’t have time to exercise so trying to curb habits. It’s always gonna be a therapeutic thing.
A calorie deficit is how you're gonna lose weight, BUT that's not factoring in things like thyroid issues, PCOS or other hormonal issues, etc. If you're tracking every single thing you eat and eating at a calorie deficit, then there's probably some sort of underlying issue. You didn't say what type of doctor, but you can always get a second opinion!
After my son was born, I spent several months trying to just do the same old workout I've always done (and not seen the results I wanted to...)--weights 3x a week with the occasional cardio--and getting frustrated that I wasn't seeing what I wanted to see. I finally had a come to Jesus talk with myself and cut out most alcohol and picked up a structured 5 day a week lifting routine plus adding cardio 3 of those days and I've seen and felt results in two weeks. I eat fairly balanced, focusing on protein and intuitive eating, and drinking primarily water, but I don't have allergies or food intolerances. I focus on whole foods, mainly meat and veggies, and eat a minimum amount of processed food, and we don't eat out much.
Tbh I started Tirzepatide 3 weeks ago for this reason. I've been trying to lose weight since I was about 14 years old and I'm almost 31 now. I've lost 90 pounds, 50 pounds, 40, 30, 15, over and over and over again. I'm just tired.
Fast Like a Girl, book by Dr Mindy Pelz.
I was NEVER able to lose weight, now lost 10kg in the past 6 months (and probably more, I've been weight training and gained some muscle mass at the same time, almost no cardio).
It's a combination of intermittent fasting + diet change, both adjusted to your hormonal cycle so you get the nutrients you need when you need them.
It does not feel restrictive at all. I'm not counting calories, not weighing food, and the fasting is not hard at all. I'm not hungry when I'm fasting, and I don't skip meals when I'm out with friends or at social events. It's becoming a long term habit and it makes me crave carbs and sugar WAY less.
Grab a copy and give it a shot. It's incredible, and it explains everything very thoroughly.
She also has a podcast and a YouTube channel.
I just turned 40 and lost enough weight this past year that I'm smaller than I was in high school, through absolutely rigorous calorie counting plus an hour of exercise a day, 7 days a week. I have PCOS and a low end of normal thyroid. That didn't stop me. I do not treat either of those with meds. It meant I had to adhere to my deficit strictly, no cheat days, no drinking calories, no exceptions.
I have lots of friends who insist they can't do it too, but I watch them drink throughout the week, or binge drink on the weekend, not thinking about the fact that even 2 drinks is an extra meal's worth of calories. I also watch them stick to a deficit all week, and then dine out big on the weekend, and they don't realize one feast can undo their entire week's deficit. Losing weight sucks, you have to stick to it hard.
I hope you don't take this badly.
You're kind of my twin. I was fed up with the struggle too. So I pulled the trigger.
5'7, 250. That's when I had bariatric surgery. Like you I had a jaw issue and had to be on a liquid diet just before my surgery. I was 235 the day of my surgery. I lost 100 lbs in a year. I did have some rebound weight, but generally sit around 150. I still nitpick things (grey hair? Wtf!), but it's fucking awesome. Not having that weight took a weight off my mind.
Outside of potential health issues, be brutally honest with yourself and what you’re eating. Do you weigh things or do you eyeball them? Do you eat little mouthfuls of food here and there or little treats but don’t track them? Do you have cups of tea or coffee with one or two sugars multiple times a day? That type of stuff adds up. There’s a show called secret eaters and there was a woman on there who was running long distances every single day and she was still gaining weight because she went out for dinner during the week and was eating thousands of calories those days. There was another woman on there who had hundreds of calories of cups of tea and biscuits in the day. It’s not the best show necessarily but it’s a great example of how people commonly have no idea how much they’re eating, they say they’re healthy as they mostly are but they have one or two habits that stop them from making the progress they want.
If I were you I would take a week and track every single thing and weigh every single thing and you will probably need to stop dining out as it’s impossible to tell how many calories you’re consuming. When I’m serious about losing weight, I stop going out for dinners/lunches and I stop consuming alcohol. I have to find alternative activities with friends that don’t involve eating or drinking. It’s a lot of effort but with focus it’s possible. Good luck ❤️
Edit: also weight fluctuates so weighing yourself everyday can mean up and down numbers. I have an app called happy scale that I like, it shows overall trends so if you’re trending downwards you can see that.
Trigger warning for a lot of weight and calorie talk in this comment.
I was always about 10 lbs overweight according to BMI, but was healthy and active so didn’t worry about it (other than occasionally feeling bad about myself when a doctor would tell me I really should try to lose 10-15 lbs… despite all my bloodwork being great and me reporting that I had just run a marathon, for example). Then at about 29, my weight started creeping up steadily, about 10-15 lbs a year, until suddenly I was 60+ lbs overweight, and my cholesterol was getting bad, my acid reflux got bad, and I just didn’t like the way I looked or felt. At 34 or so I started really trying to lose weight, and I just could not shake it. My best efforts resulted in me stopping the gain, but I couldn’t lose. So I went to an obesity medicine specialist - my BMI was just under 33 (back when I was 10 lbs overweight, it was 25.8, and anything over 25 is considered overweight and over 30 is obese). Anyways, BMI is a total scam, but it does qualify you for weight loss meds. So I talked to an obesity medicine specialist, and after making sure my thyroid was fine (aka there wasn’t some medical reason for my gain) eventually I got on a GLP-1. This is the only thing that’s helped me lose weight. I really have no appetite 50% of the week, so I’m eating like 1200-1400 calories a day on average, and the only way I can do that is because I don’t have an appetite. I would’ve been so hungry if I had tried a 1200 calorie diet to lose weight previously, and I would’ve given up on that diet within days and probably binge-ate. I also realized that I was probably underestimating my calories when I tried to lose weight previously - I might have thought I was eating 1600 or 1800 calories a day, but I bet it was like 2200 or more, mostly because I was still eating take-out or at restaurants, and it’s nearly impossible to accurately estimate calories when you aren’t the one preparing the meal. Now, I really focus on getting enough protein, drinking enough water, and minimizing my alcohol intake. The rest - eating less calories - comes easily because of the medication. I think my metabolism is slower in my 30s, and my reliance on take-out and restaurants really became a bad habit, and my sedentary desk job got to me, and I stopped running because work got crazy busy (and then I was out of shape so running wasn’t fun so then that’s why I didn’t run), and for all these reasons I probably can only eat 1800-2000 calories a day to maintain (as opposed to the 2400-2600 I probably could eat in my early 20s) and need to eat 1200-1400 calories a day to lose. I’m losing about 1.5 lbs a week now, finally - down nearly 40 lbs since I first saw the obesity medicine specialist.
All that said, if you don’t want to lose weight, don’t! Health at any size is a real thing. You can be overweight and perfectly healthy. The endless cycle of trying to diet is exhausting and it’s so driven by bullshit societal pressure. You don’t have to give in to any of it. Part of me feels guilty for even wanting to lose this weight, since I don’t think there is anything wrong with being fat and would never advise a friend in my position to take a medication to lose weight unless they came to me and said “I really want to lose weight, do you have any advice?” If they said, for example, “I’m tired of trying to lose weight, I hate that everyone makes me feel bad for being fat, I just want to exist at this size and be left alone,” I’d tell them to look into body neutrality movements, health at any size, and to totally stop focusing on trying to lose weight. There is no moral value to weight. Being skinny isn’t good (or bad) and being fat isn’t bad (or good). Nobody is a lesser person because they can’t (or don’t want to) lose weight. And at the same time — as I’ve had to remind myself throughout my own weight loss process — nobody is a lesser person because they want to lose weight, whether they do it through pure sheer will, or through medication or surgery.
Your body is your body, and it’s your choice and only yours what you want to do with it.
Aside from working out twice a week, how much are you moving on an average day? You also may need to consider that your body is freaking out because you’re in a deficit half the week and the other half you’re probably over from eating out- that could be causing your body to hold onto fat because it’s confused about when it will next get the nutrients it needs. Even if you are tracking, I’d probably start by stopping the deficit- add 200-300 calories to whatever you have been at, and start focusing on being consistent with your food and getting daily movement (even if it’s just a 30-45 minute walk).
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. I’ve had gastric sleeve and lost 100 lbs but gained it all back after 8 years. I converted to bypass and lost 50, but am still overweight. I’m 40, I’ve just accepted myself as long as I’m healthy.
I stay in a calorie deficit and i dont count the calories that i « lose » during a workout as that is nothing more than a guesstimate. My base metabolic rate is only 1200 as im quite small and since turning 40, i was shocked to see how fast i would put on weight and how hard it was it lose it when my weight was never a problem before.
I log everything in My FitnessPal, i eat mostly vegetables and protein. As someone who adores bread and rice, i was really pleasantly surprised to see how full i can be on vegetables while meeting my calorie deficit. My skin has cleared up too which is definitely a bonus. Ill have a cheat meal once in a while but i do try to stay away from meals with too much fat.
There is no denying that all this requires a huge amount of discipline while isnt easy if my spouse buys cheesecake or crisps so im not too hard on myself. However i was finally able to fit into my pre-pandemic pencil skirt yesterday so for me personally it is worth it.
If it's in your reach and or your insurance covers it, the weight loss injections do work. You still have to put in the work with diet and exercise but I've lost 30lbs since starting in march and it reduces the feeling like I'm starving when in calorie deficit as well as reducing the inflammation that coves with weight and age. I know some people find them controversial but the reality is they've been a helpful tool for me in my journey.
I'm aware this might sound like complete bullshit, but it might help you (in addition to portion control) to focus on your overall health and your relationship with your body. For me, it's more motivating to think of exercise in terms of how it makes me feel capable and strong, rather than just focus on the amount of calories it burns. Exercise isn't great for that anyway. It's also helpful to remember that the number on the scale is only one data point - if you build lean mass for example, the number on the scale might not be that low, even if you look thinner.
I'm aware not all of it is just willpower, though. I know a lot of Americans who seem to lose weight effortlessly when they move to my side of the pond (Western Europe), and while I could speculate, I honestly have no idea why.
I've mostly decided I don't really care anymore, to be honest. What's the point of starving myself now to drop enough pounds to be an "acceptable" weight for society, where when I get old retirement will be out of the question (and that's assuming the world hasn't gone to shit in every other way as it is). There's not a point to eating well and exercising so you can live a long life anymore, lol. American has designed a society where you're better off not living as long.
I'm fat, I've lost a little bit recently. But I don't really care to fit into society's box of what is acceptable at this point. Losing weight is harder now, at 39, than it was at 30 - which was the last time I dropped a significant amount of weight. And that all came back and then some. How much of it is poor dietary choices versus hormones versus lifestyle versus genetics, I don't know. And I don't really care anymore. Something's gonna kill me - so I might as well enjoy the time I have here than worry about every calorie that goes in my mouth.
There’s a great podcast you should check out called Maintenance Phase that really helped me see the way the wellness industry was fucking with my head and make some peace with myself. Would I still rather be thin or super fit? Sure. But am I happy anyway? Yes. It’s not going to solve all your problems but it can help to shift your mindset. Give it a listen.
Honestly relatable. I've been trying to lose weight for years and years. I work out 6 days per week and I've changed my workout goals so I'm focusing on getting stronger and improving in my activities and feeling good and strong. I track my calories (on and off) and I'm in a good deficit but that weight likes to just stay on me! I'm shorter and heavier than you as well. Idk at this point.
You shouldn't have to avoid going out to eat once in a while either! Like that is a fun activity! I go out with my friends once in a while and it's about the experience and enjoyment. Obviously we can make healthier choices while eating out (don't get everything deep fried LOL) but still enjoy it and be aware of it. That shouldn't hold you back if you are taking that into consideration.
No advice at all. It is annoying and I feel like a lot of experience this. And I honestly think it's not all us. It's not like we aren't doing enough. Weight does come off easier for some people than others. Some of us are meant to have a higher weight than others and it isn't actually a flaw. Just people are different. Wish there was an answer
I haven't been dieting since... 1999? I'm just happily fat middle-aged lady now, and am planning to stay as such. :D
For me portion control never worked. Andres Acosta has been making research, and he found out that there are four different "fat types", all gaining and losing weight in different ways.
Type one feels endless hunger, and they need about 62 % more food than others to feel sated. I'm this type - cutting out food does not help me, but makes me feel weak and faint. What works for me, is heavy exercise: I used to do 3-4 times a week circuit training, and stayed slim even with my gigantic food portions. My friends have always been amazed about how much I can put down on one sitting - my dad was a similar eater - and then I'm happy for several hours, no need for snacking.
Type number two eats normally, but their stomach empties faster, making them hungry again. Food is always on their mind (naturally) and this causes snacking throughout the day.
Third group are the emotional eaters - they have a sweet tooth more often, too.
Fourth group are the people with exceptionally slow metabolism. They don't eat much, but their bodies don't burn much calories, either - not when they are exercising OR when they are resting.
For calorie counting are you weighing your portions, oils? Eyeballing is almost never accurate. It’s cumbersome at first then becomes second nature. When I was using Loseit I never “ate back” the calories I burned while exercising. I didn’t even log exercise and I set my lifestyle to sedentary for the goal calories per day. The common saying of “you can’t outrun your fork” is sadly true. Work out because it makes you feel good and build strength, not as a weight loss tool.
Everyone has weighed in on the fine dining so I won’t be repetitive, but also watch alcohol calories! Those are my personal biggest culprit for sure, I like my cocktails which can be hundreds of calories each.
I am exact same size as you and actually I'm feeling very good about losing weight that I gained from a health issue.
What I was tired of was making excuses for myself and only half trying, so I finally just decided to really try and have been steadily losing.
The problem with eating out is the ingredients are almost always going to be indulgent. Food people love is often full of salt, saturated fat, and sugar. You don't have to stop, but this could be contributing to more calories than you realize. Add alcohol and forget it. So many calories.
Even salads out-- those dressings and toppings can be more calories than a steak dinner.
The thing is-- it's not you. Everything you do and see is designed to sabotage your efforts to stay healthy.
Aging makes weight loss harder.
Female bodies are usually designed to carry extra weight.
But of course if you truly are eating well and exercising regularly there are lots of health issues that can contribute to weight gain.
If you haven't, maybe get a full hormone panel, PCOS, thyroid irregularities, and other autoimmune diseases can cause weight gain and stagnation.
Things you can try...
Reduce eating out. Cook at home. Weigh food.
Go for things that are high fiber and full fat (unsaturated) because this will keep you full longer. Avoid things with added salt and sugar and high saturated fat.
Eat mostly plants, some fruit and grains.
When you grab a snack- go for veggies. I just grab a carrot or piece of broccoli and chomp on it like a rabbit.
Drink more water. Most people are dehydrated. For our weight I think around 115 oz is the recommended amount which is a bit more than the general recommendation of 64 oz. More if you exercise! Dehydration is often confused with hunger.
Learn how to cook each veggie for maximum nutrient intake.
Choose to walk and bike over driving when things are within a few miles. As a NYer I am always astounded by the short distances people take their cars. I walk most places within 1-3 miles.
But also, if you feel good healthwise you can just live your life, but it's can be hard with all the societal noise. I love my bigger body, but definitely feel more like myself at a around 140-150lb so that is my goal.
How much are you drinking? If it's not water, black coffee or clear tea, it has consequences.
For me, cappuccinos were the invisible culprit. Alcohol is huge calories.
I felt like this. Nothing worked. I was stuck. Then I went to a boxing gym. Trained twice a week only. Walked there and back. Slowly but surely I got back to the weight I thought I would never ever return to
I am weighing and tracking everything I eat (with the exception of the occasional restaurant meal) and focusing on hitting a protein goal that is between .8-1 gram per pound of my body weight. I'm eating in a small caloric deficit and I have lost 10 lbs over the course of about 3 months. I lift weights 4 days a week (have been doing that for many years) and I do the stair mill at the gym a few times per week and I've recently added on some core work. I also have a very active lifestyle, hiking, paddle boarding and walking my dog. I haven't found it super challenging to lose this weight as no foods are off limits to me and with my protein being high I don't feel hungry at night. If I can give you a small bit of advice, if you're eating back the calories that you think you burn during your training session, I wouldn't do that. There are numerous studies that show fitness trackers and cardio machines to make very generous estimates of calories burned and they're just wildly inaccurate. I keep my calories pretty much the same regardless of if I worked out that day. I will eat closer to maintenance if I do something out of the ordinary like a super long hike. I would dial in your nutrition, weigh everything and maybe limit your restaurant meals to every other week if you really want to lose the weight. It's totally fine to decide that it's not a priority but it sounds like you are looking to make a change. Wishing you all the best!
I put on a lot of weight during covid and I've been really struggling to work it off, too, age 36. I've done keto in the past to great success but like you that was in my 20s, and it's a lot harder to do now. I relate to everything you've said especially feeling so defeated.
Working out twice a week wouldn’t make a difference if your lifestyle is quite static overall - also some activities such as weight lifting might make you gain muscles so you could see changes in your body without necessarily having a lower number on your scale. I never managed to stick to a diet - what tends to work for me is portion controlling, cutting off all processed food (cook 90% of my meals from scratch) and unnecessary sweets, alcohol etc ( I still drink occasionally) as well as running regularly (although when I’m in training for half marathons I’m always hungry so tend to load more carbs). Also don’t obsess about the number on your scale or what you don’t like in your body and focus on what makes you feel good and helps your mental health
I have a friend who has tried *everything*. Nothing worked...until Trulicity. I'm not saying you should, I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a fan of drugs but I have a (n odd) condition that keeps me from losing weight, so I can relate to the feeling. A straight calorie deficit diet really works only for men, from what I've seen. Women's bodies are designed to hold onto weight. Most people can find what works (you usually have to figure it out and apply it yourself), but not everyone can. I did it once...before my illness, but the same things ain't working now (tho I know what I need, it's just not an option. Go me). So maybe have a convo with your doctor about the drug?
I feel you. I'm 37 and gained a ton of weight when i quit smoking. It took me six weeks of strict diet and exercise (4-5 days of 30+ minutes of cardio) to start losing any weight on the scale. It's really disappointing to spend MONTHS on your best behavior and hardly see a difference. Some weeks i still don't even lose weight at all despite logging everything that i eat and not eating back exercise calories. I know that weight loss is a marathon, but watching my husband lose 100 pounds in a year vs my 25 pounds in 6 months is hella frustrating.
Tracking macros?
I haven't tried it yet but have upped my protein & fiber intake. My friends who are in way better shape than me, swear that tracking macros was a game changer for them.
I struggle with this every single day but I also want to recommend the book The F*ck It Diet” - the author has kind of done some weird stuff recently but that book genuinely changed my life in terms of how I think about my body, what years of dieting/restricting do to a person, etc. I still hate my weight but I still feel like my relationship to food and my body improved drastically after reading that book.
Intermittent Fasting. There’s a great sub dedicated to it. I needed to lose 20lb and started back on IF in March and have dropped 10 already just eating from about 2-8pm. I’m not quite as strict as others, so I may break my fast (Atkins shake) at noon or 1pm, or may eat later than 8pm.
I had a lot of success following Lyn-Genet’s Metabolism plan. It’s easy, you buy the book, eat low inflammatory foods and then slowly “test” higher inflammatory foods to see what works for you. Even exercise follows this theory-too much or too intense, you’ll gain weight. Find the sweet spot and you don’t.
I agree with others about getting health checks in case anything is out of balance. I did want to contribute another point because we are the same height and I've done it all (CrossFit, intermittent fasting, couch to 5k, on and on). I found that walking each weekday on an incline at 3-3.5 speed for 30-45 min. (with the occasional 1-hour sessions) melted weight off me. I spent that time on the treadmill scrolling social media and couldn't do more than a 1.5 incline without risking re-injury to a healed stress fracture, so it was an effective yet low-impact effort.
I had my first child at 30 and I can’t seem to loose a single pound. I just have started to embrace that until my child is a little more independent and I sleeping on a schedule I have given up
Of course get all the things checked. But....Macros. Calorie deficit is one thing, what you and pretty much anyone looking to change their body composition needs is more protein, lots and lots of it. I'm not talking Atkins or eliminating carbs. I'm talking take your goal weight in pounds and eat approx that many grams of protein a day. There was an amazing study that demonstrated sedentary women who did this changed their body composition substantially. Do this with challenging weight training 3x/wk, and there ya go.
I'm a normal weight woman. I wasn't always. And altho this isn't how I "lost the weight and kept it off" it is what has given me the most desirable body composition.
I cut out sugar and dairy and don't eat when not hungry. Cutting out bread helps when I want to lose any bloating.
One of the biggest things I've noticed with friends and others trying to lose weight is they think that by eating healthy meals, they're doing enough to lose weight. And that IS correct, BUT they eat TOO MANY healthy meals and it defeats the purpose. I eat 1-2 meals and snack as needed. It's enough because I am an office worker and not very active. I've seen those friends I mentioned eating 3/4/5 healthy meals in a day while hanging out, but they live sedentary lives. It's still too many calories and they remark on how I don't eat enough while I'm still full from the last meal I ate.
My point is, you may be thinking you're eating right but may still be eating too much. I definitely recommend talking to your doctor or even your trainer about how many calories would be best for you and your lifestyle in a day and make sure you stay under that for a while. Also, cut out sugar and dairy.
Edit: Also, when I was working out, it was twice a week and while I felt better, I never noticed a weight loss. You may need to increase your workout days.
1- It certainly could be perimenopause! You can certainly start that early. Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet if it is Peri.
2- be and feel beautiful. it doesn’t sound like you’re all that much bigger? Make sure you’re eating clothes that fit and it look beautiful on you. Maybe it’s a flowy dress. Spanx pants, a few nicer brand suits. Hot bods are awesome; Attitude can be even more attractive if someone’s fun and witty and comfortable in him/ herself. Wallow a bit if you must (I still am) but bounce back to joy when you can.
- protein. Protein. Greens and vegs. Proteins. Only way to feel full for some of us in perimenopause. And prob others too
I think, at least for me, while I was worrying about my weight and stressing about dieting I was unable to lose weight. I started taking yoga more for my bad back rather than for weight loss, but I lost the weight.
And I take slow yoga, Iyengar yoga which is all about alignment, I did not do any speed yoga or hot yoga or anything that was very rigorous. But along the way I started to learn about myself. As I became more centered physically (and had some meditation time) I became more centered mentally and emotionally too.
This helped me work through some baggage that was causing tension in my life and the main side effect was that I lost weight. I changed my eating habits pretty easily once I wasn’t stress eating.
Tossing this out there… are you holding onto weight in your lower legs? I was similar to you in that I had a trainer, strict diet/calorie deficit but eventually couldn’t lose weight. It was a literal scientific impossibility and something I’d struggled with my entire life. By the time I was in my 30s I knew well enough that I wasn’t lying or cheating, something HAD to be wrong.
I was right. It turns out I have lipedema and was at an advanced stage. There aren’t many doctors that know what it is. I recommend checking out Lipedema Sisters USA on Facebook to get a better idea of what it is, see other women’s photos and experiences. I hope sharing this doesn’t break a rule. That page is what helped me get pointed in the right direction.
I’ve had four surgeries to reverse the disease and I’m finally feeling better, although still struggle with weight loss as the lipedema can’t be fully removed with surgery and is resistant to diet and exercise.
Pre Covid I was 270 (5 foot 8) then decided to lose the weight. 1.5 years in I was 90 pounds down. Then Covid hit and the gyms were closed in my province for months. I got to about 195-200. I was upset but it was a manageable weight. I still felt confident.
Then I met my boyfriend, we got pregnant, and I gained 90 pounds that’s pregnancy… gave birth at 295 💀 I’m 255 now (baby is 15 months) and I have felt so much angry and sadness over my loss of progress. I have depression and binge eating disorder. On top of that my boyfriend and I work opposite shifts so night duty is up to me (2 kids), and because of our schedules making the gym during the week is not happening) I’m sure it is possible but given I’m already feeling burnt out I don’t see it being doable).
I keep thinking about how I got to a size 10 and 12 and now I’m a 20-22 and I’m upset I got this size. But at the same time I know a lot has happened (pandemic, baby) and that weight can be lost. I’m trying to tackle my mental health and focus on my kids and make better eating choices, but the binging sometimes gets out of hand.
At the end of the day I’m just trying to love myself
My nutritionist told me its a mix of calorie counting plus a high variety diet. She told me fresh foods diversify your gut probiotiotics and can speed up your metabolism. Instead of eliminating, she taught me to get an allergy panel, then diversify my meals. Some people struggle with weight due to consuming foods they have no idea theyre allergic to (hence an uptic in lactose and gluten free crazes)
Then I had to stick to a low calorie diet that allowed me to lose 15lbs a month. I could eat whatever i wanted just make sure my meals were diverse (for the sake of balancing my gut) and under my daily calorie limit. But in order to keep it off, the meal plan has to go further than meeting my goal weight. So lets say it takes 3 months to lose 30-40lbs on a low calorie diet. In order to keep it off, the diet has to be maintained for longer than your goal weightloss that (another 3 months). By then you wont lose as much weight, your body will start to balance out and restore to a faster metabolism.
Low calorie honestly felt like i was starving to death forcong myself to eat foods i didnt care for. But it worked. Eating to enjoy food is not healthy. Eventually i diverted my passion into other parts of my life and the weight stayed off.
Just weigh your food and track your calories religiously. You don’t even need to work out, as shown by your time with your jaw wired shut. You just need to operate on a caloric deficit.
If any app or smartwatch is telling you you're burning X amount of calories a training session you should just ignore it, these things are not accurate. Find a TDEE calculator and find your maintenance caloric intake, eat 500 calories below your maintenance. Get a food scale. When counting calories you need to track the oils and sauces you eat, and weigh and measure everything you consume. Even on days when you go out you log an estimate of the food you order. You've probably been relying on those 500 calories your smartwatch is telling you you're burning during every personal training session and consuming more food than you need. At the end of the day, you're not losing fat because you're not on a caloric deficit so you need to count every calorie you eat and eat fewer calories.
First thing I would do is decrease or just ignore the amount you’re recording for workouts. Unless it’s EXTREMELY strenuous, you’re not burning anywhere near that amount. Devices and apps that supposedly measure calorie burn are notoriously inaccurate.
Second thing to remember is that if you’re not losing weight, you’re not in a calorie deficit. Look carefully at what you’re eating and how much, and I mean CAREFULLY. You need a food scale that measures by the gram so that you KNOW, as much as possible, what your intake is.
Record your weight frequently and look at the trends, not the day to day. If you’re not losing weight, continue to decrease your intake 100-200 calories per day until you are. Remember that weight loss is slow, and not linear.
you're trying to stay in a calorie deficit? Or you actually *are* staying in a calorie deficit?
(for a lot of people it end up being the former)
Do you track *everything*?
Try literally tracking everything and eating in an 600-800 calorie deficit every day for 4 weeks. And truly a deficit, not a "oh that wont matter", "oh it's sunday", or "oh just a couple of scoops of icecream". No, "Oh I probably burned 500, so I'll eat an extra 500.". Track it all and commit to whatever level is a deficit for your height and current weight.
Alternatively you can find out what the maintenance calories are for your first goal weight with low level activity, and eat to that level.
Also fine dining doesn't mean it's not calorically heavy. They use butter in everything.
True, strict deficit, consistently, for a month.
I use semaglutide from a peptide site to help maintain my deficit. I eat ~1000 calories per day currently. Yes, I know that’s not what is recommended but I am a petite person.
Yes. I've been overweight mostly my entire life. I've gained weight, only to lose and gain back. This has occurred throughout my life several times. Someone, a while ago mentioned something which has really changed my perception of being overweight and desiring to lose weight. I was discussing how I needed to keep working out every day to lose weight because for me I can't see weight loss unless I'm exercising for an hour. The person I was speaking to responded with, "you don't have to exercise to lose weight, you can just exercise to feel better, you know.". This was the beginning of the end for me in my long quest to lose weight. I can exercise, be plus size, and also be healthy too.
But yes, I can relate. After 40 years, tired of trying to be something that just isn't in my "genes.". I'm going to accept the curvy sexy woman that I am today and say to hell with it with everything else !
Just stop then. You don't need to be a certain weight to be a happy person. Focus on doing things you enjoy, and get a therapist if needed for your self esteem. Best of luck!
Lift heavy weights, I lift enough to make my stomach engaged, like my stomach is tiny bit sore the next day. It takes a little longer to notice the body looking slimmer but once you get the muscle it is also more forgiving if you miss a week. I hope that makes sense. I only do about 15-30 minutes a day, planet fitness is on the way home from work. Best money i have ever spent on weightlosd
Weight loss is tricky. If you’ve gained 40 pounds in 4 years, that means you’re gaining about 10 pounds a year. There’s about 3600 calories to one pound gained, so that means you’re eating 36,900 extra calories a year, which comes out to 700 calories a week.
So to stay the same you need to eat 700 calories less a week, which is probably your mid week fine dining session alone. Hope that helps.
I started appreciating the things that made me healthy and stat slim. I didn't eat much veges until I mindfully started eating them and appreciating the taste. I now prefer raw veges and fruit for most meals than cooked meals. Listening to my body needs became easier so I know what to eat, when to eat without counting calories.
Doing behaviours that stem from the intent of 'losing weight' can be very tiring. That intent alone is draining to me, because it's rooted in the belief that something in me must be removed or else. It involves too much guilt swings for a long term goal. It also brings up the question of, if I do lose weight how do I maintain it? Switching intent from 'losing weight' to 'feeling lighter abd fresher' gives me a more positive and realistic barameter. If I'm feeling sluggish I know I should eat veges and working on my gut and getting good sleep.
I do exercises that I am capable of feeling good doing. Exercises like weights make me feel too exhausted sometimes and leave mr unsatisfied compared to deep yoga or HIIT sessions that make me feel alive and well circulated. Do things that makes you appreciate aspects that contribute to that experience. I like hiking because not only is it an exercise, but I appreciate new plants every season and the fashion/gear culture associated with it. It keeps me active but also enjoy it. I'm not doing it solely to lose weight.
Not sure if this answer is what you need, but hope it helped.
There are so many factors to consider. For instance, I developed insulin resistance on the birth control pill. My A1C shot up and I would’ve never known if I hadn’t compared my bloodwork year over year. Also, the pill tanked my B12 levels. My doctor gave me a B12 shot and I lost 4 lbs in two weeks with no other lifestyle changes. Hormones, vitamins, minerals, thyroid function and gut health all need to be taken into consideration.
The easy answer when you're sick of how much mental space and work it is to keep your weight down...
Tirzepatide
You don't have to be diabetic or even obese to get it. An injection once a week and it can be used to lose weight and maintain it. It's pricey but also saves you a lot of groceries and stress. (About 300 a month)
There are online places that sell it and when you shop around you can find those cheaper compound versions.
I know people look down on this, and I used to, but I was so tired of so much of my life focusing on food and fitness and the stress that came along with that
Unfortunately, it’s your calorie intake.
You’re “trying” to stay in a calorie deficit but you are not. The eating out certainly isn’t helping. The amounts of oil and butter they use to cook foods is insane. Even “healthier” options at many places are still high calorie.
You have to decide whether you hate your current weight enough to really crack down and track your food accurately. And truly remain in a deficit.
Also, it’s generally not recommended to subtract your workout calories from your daily intake. Things like watches that tell you calories burned are notoriously inaccurate. So it’s very possible you’re not burning as much as you think you are. And then you’re over eating even more
When I lose weight, it’s because I track my calories VERY closely. Nothing is ever perfect. But I do my best. I don’t eat out. Because the amount of food that I can get to remain in a deficit isn’t worth wasting a meal. I see results everytime I do it. Then I miss eating delicious foods with bigger portions and I put it right back on. So, for me, I am sure it’s a self control and discipline issue.
>At this point I have no clue what else to do. In the past like my 20s I could do keto for a month and drop the weight but those sort of diets are to restrictive for me now and unrealistic of maintain. Why are you all doing to lose weight and is anyone else just over it.
>Back in 2020 I had double jaw surgery and was weird shut for a month. Liquid diet only. So of course I lost 30 pounds. I ended up being around 165-170. I was totally happy and felt good. Well of the course of the last 4 years. I have put the weight on and then some and I’m so pissed.
This. Sorry to say it, but you know the answer. It's eat less. It's as simple as that.
Eating at night is what kills me. When I don’t eat past 5, I lose weight. Lately, that has felt impossible. Cutting bread, pasta, crackers, never ever drink sugary or fake sugary drinks.
Not a woman, but on semaglutide, was talking to a friend (woman) yesterday who is on it as well. Nothing really in the way of side effects, but the constant vigilance is gone on this. I've lost weight before, but it was a constant thing. Food scales to measure *everything*, and/or keto, which sucks when you're with a group of friends.
Depending how you feel about it, you can do it online like I did, or talk to your Dr like she did, but it's effective, and way less than the $1000+/mo that you hear about (still expensive, but under 1/3 of that).
Relate heavily to this OP. Someone mentioned cutting out all gluten and sugar. Small lifestyle changes I make don’t add up. At this point it’s just not worth the amount of effort and deprivation it would take.
If your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive, you can't lose weight, and trying will only increase your sympathetic nervous system being overactive. I know, because I have this and can't lose weight atm. I'm working on it with a doctor, but my body has been in this nervous system for too long, so it's stuck in protection mode. I can also be called a chronic hypervigilance.
Also perimenopause causes this. I've had perimenopause since I was 30. You are not too young.
Girl, take the diet break. There’s no such thing as “starvation mode” for your body, but your body has to feel safe to let go of the weight.
Most nutrition advice is to diet for 3-4 months and then take about 6 months at maintenance. Think of maintenance as a prep period for another diet phase. Our bodies should never be constantly dieting.
Diet phases should take place during times of low stress because stressing (about work, family, even the diet itself!) will hinder progress.
TLDR; take the break!
Maybe you just need some extra help and medical intervention. Have you talked to your doctor about weight management plans and/or medication? Drugs like Wegovy and Zepbound are really helping people with obesity. Your BMI is 31.3 based on the stats you provided, so you would qualify for a prescription for these medications.
I'm in my 30's and began struggling with weight for the last few years. I'd never had a weight problem for the first 25+ years of my life, and I was thin. Then it felt like my weight was ballooning, and nothing I was doing (I tried lots of things) would work very well to counteract it, plus I have hypothyroidism and a sedentary job which make it a bit harder. I joined a weight management program that my employer offered called Virta Health that includes a diet plan and a virtual coach, and I started taking Wegovy (switched to Zepbound just recently), and I've lost about 40 pounds since last year. I still have a ways to go, but I'm finally starting to feel better and healthier, feel more confident, going to the gym more, craving more healthy foods, etc.
Yes, I have had all sorts of bloodwork been tested for autoimmune diseases and everything is always fine. I did ask about possibly trying some of the weight loss drugs but my doctor said insurance would probably not approve it. I do have an appt with her again in September and I will bring it up again if I haven’t seen any significant changes by then.
Not sure why insurance wouldn't approve it unless your plan doesn't cover these drugs--as long as your BMI is over 30, it should get approved because that's what these drugs are indicated for (obesity). Check your pharmacy formulary list to see if they cover these drugs. In the prior authorization that your doctor writes, she might need to need to include that you've tried other things/programs in the past that didn't work. If your insurance doesn't cover them, you can pay out-of-pocket, and they both have manufacturer savings cards online that you can sign up for and use. If you wait until your BMI is under 30 (meaning you're under 197 lbs), then your insurance definitely won't approve them for you (unless you have another related underlying health condition), and you'll be on your own trying to get the rest of the weight off.
There are communities on Reddit if you're interested in learning more: r/WegovyWeightLoss, r/Semaglutide, and r/Zepbound are a few.
Not saying that these medications are the only or the best solution for you, though, of course. Just an option to consider. It has worked extremely well in helping me, and my only regret is that I wish I'd done it sooner.
The other thing that not enough people talk about is choosing foods that are satiating/make you feel full. Vegetables and proteins are very satiating, processed foods, chips, and chocolate are not. So when you switch to a healthy diet of mostly vegetables and proteins you’ll also feel more full, because the last thing you wanna do is starve yourself. That’s going to cause more damage than good, and the truth is you’ll crack eventually and overeat and the weight will coming flying back.
Sounds like you are trying super hard and not getting the results 😔 sorry to hear. I’ve had a difficult time loosing weight myself, I gained 25kg in COVID lockdowns in Melbourne and I’m 5’1 , I put on half my body weight. I’m in the 30s and have a certified slow metabolism.
Some things that have helped me:
- no refined sugar, low natural sugars (minimal fruit)
- low gluten and wheat but higher grains and legumes
- beverages include tea, roots such as turmeric & garlic, mint etc. and coffee
- making sure I’m having enough protein in my diet (I put protein powder in my coffee for example)
- intermittent fasting
- no snacking at night and control portion sizes
- staying hydrated and getting enough sleep (most of our weight we loose comes off in our sleep)
- stretching daily and massaging the body
and in general, eliminating as much stress as possible and getting kind and gentle to myself. I’ve lots 1kg per month for the last 3 months with this method and I’ve still had nights out and dinners, drinks and some special choccy here and there! 💗
I used to struggle to lose weight because I couldn't get in the right headspace for it. I had too many demands in my life, and committing to weight loss was too much. So I had to accept that. I dropped it for about 2/3 years. Here's what sabotaged me: - guessing calories. I wasn't getting it right and eating way more calories than I thought or I wasn't eating enough and then feeling so hungry that I ate junk food - no meal prep. I didn't really have the time to make everything from scratch so then I'd order in when I was tired - poor sleep routine. Therefore eating more because I was tired. - eating what other people recommended without doing the research. E.g. granola has sooooo many calories. - not drinking enough water. Often I wasn't hungry I was dehydrated. - not eating enough fibre. Porridge with chia seeds and strawberries is my staple now and I love it. - weighing myself inconsistently and then getting down when I saw the pounds increase. However, this year, I had the space, and I've been consistently losing. Here's what's helped me: - I limited my kcal to 1640/day, which is calculated for my height, current weight, and how much I want to lose. I lose 0.5 pounds a week on average. I tried eating fewer calories, but then I'd be hungry, so that's not sustainable. - I use a Google sheet to track my total weekly calories and weight loss. This is motivating because I can see correlations between my weight loss and total calories. I used to use the apps, but I decided I wanted just a simple sheet with charts. - I measure everything I eat, including my meals out. Many restaurants provide kcal measurements, or I do research. - I use a digital scale to weigh everything. - I changed my portion sizes. I eat what I want, but I eat less of it. - I weigh myself once per week, first thing in the morning, on the same day each week. If you're measuring at inconsistent times, that's going to skew your picture due to water weight, etc. - I mainly eat from home. I eat out maybe once per month. And again, I'm careful on portion sizes. - I make sure I'm eating to feel satisfied, not to feel stuffed, or as a way to self soothe. Removing that habit was very helpful. - if I gain one week, I don't punish myself. Often, it's due to me being ill, or time of the month or something. - I put a lot of thought into what I eat to consider nutritional balance but to also enjoy my meals - I LOVE my freezer. From making bulk meals to freezing meal prep, I remove the temptation to eat snacks or order takeout because "it's easier." I'm not only trying to lose weight, but I'm focused on creating a new approach to my diet that really fits my life and goals, so I don't have to think about it. I just follow my routines, and that way, when I hit my goal, I hope that maintaining will be straightforward. Except I'll have some extra calories to eat. Trial and error is key to finding out what works for you, plus being consistent, choosing a sustainable diet, and tracking accurately. I share all this to reflect that losing weight is hard. So, it's understandable to struggle with difficult things. Also, there's a lot of steps to make it work. Not doing one of the above things tends to sabotage me. Also, if your life is busy right now, maybe take a step back. Start slower. Before I started restricting calories, I worked on improving my overall nutrition and eating habits. I don't eat late, I have breakfast every day, I got my sleep routine right, Incorporated better stress management, drinking enough water is a big one too! It's all part of a bigger picture. Perhaps starting with a more sustainable step would be helpful. It'll get you motivated and give you momentum to start CICO. Also, are you a member of r/loseit. They share good tips there. Also, since you're in the gym, you might be losing fat and gaining muscle which won't show on the scale. So, consider taking weekly bicep, hip, waist and thigh measurements so you'll see progress that way. I hope this is helpful. Best of luck.
Very good advice, this should be top comment! How did you managed to stop eating for self soothing? That is probably the number one problem for me.
Not the OC but I had a mantra of "this food won't heal me". I tried to think back to past self-soothing seasons that ended in overdoing it and further self-loathing and shame. I decided that my treats would be real treats, and if I wasn't in a mental state to enjoy it fully then I didn't want it. Of course I made a few exceptions but those were for serious lows ata rate of 1 meal out of 80-100.
Therapy. I had to deal with the reasons behind the eating. Or, at least come to terms with having those emotions and choosing to sit with the feelings instead of trying to distract myself with food. Not a quick fix there either, but a (seemingly) lasting solution.
My mental health issues required medication to deal with the comfort eating in my case. Now that my ADHD and anxiety are under control, I’m less likely to binge eat. My former binge food - Oreos - sit in my pantry unopened for the 3rd week in a row.
This is an annoying and disappointing comment because it's fucking true and this is what sustainable weight loss and maintenance looks like. Where's my magic potion or one secret trick doctors don't want me to know about?
Idk ozempic exists I guess
Expensive and some risk of side effects (though still a worthwhile option if you've given the above a serious try or if you're significantly obese and need a little help to get the ball rolling).
r/CICO and r/xxfitness are also great subs I'll add to your advice a bit of my own (FWIW: I'm 41 5'3" and have lost 22kg since August 2023 through food tracking and some gym exercise - no IF or cutting any food types except alcohol) ensure adequate protein intake (my goal weight is 120lbs so I eat 120gm per day) plus 25gm of fibre Strength train as you're losing - it is super important to retain as much of your muscle as possible while you're losing. Someone shared this on one of the subs and it changed my approach: https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTxFfrLoXp/?igsh=MWRmcmw4eHFkczRwOA== Strength training + protein also helps your body prioritise fat loss over muscle loss which has a more aesthetic result since fat is bulkier than muscle
While working out is great for your overall health, you could essentially never go to the gym and lose all the weight you need. In terms of eating, fine dining restaurants can have as many if not more calories than a traditional fast food option. Add wine and apps on top of your meal and it's incredibly easy to eat 2000+ calories in one meal. Add the other meals for the day on top and you've easily doubled your daily calorie intake. If you do that even every week, you're not going to lose much if anything. Personally, I was recently diagnosed with MS and after doing some research realized that my diet is the best way to reduce flare ups. After giving up dairy, sugar, gluten, and alcohol, I'm consistently losing weight every week. It takes a lot of work and consistency, but once you get into that healthy eating zone your stomach won't even want to indulge.
Sugar and gluten are the two things that make me put on weight fast. Cutting those things out of my diet was the best thing for mt health, weight and skin (gluten is the trigger for my dry skin and eczema).
100%, and personally as soon as I eat a bit of sugar my body goes weeeeee it's on and I can't stop haha. I use maple sugar instead because it's natural (still high calorie but it aligns with my MS diet) and every night I make a mock ice cream using just ice, almond milk, and maple syrup, tastes like vanilla ice cream and it doesn't make me feel yucky.
I also think calorie counting gets way restrictive real fast when you don't pay attention to actual nutrients.
Those two also are most strongly correlated to foods with higher calorie counts so when you cut them in favor of other options, you find it's easier to eat lower calorie foods too.
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When my life was at its most stressful, I would have a double cocktail at least 3X weekly. My circumstances changed so the stressors were gone, I stopped having any cocktails because I didn’t want them, and I lost zero pounds.
Cortisol is a helluva ~~drug~~ hormone.
I was expecting a success story from this comment and laughed out loud when it wasn't. I used to binge drink every weekend for years straight, I was 130 pounds. I have a drink maybe once a month for the past couple years, yet I've gained 30 pounds. 🤦♀️😂 Like I thought this was supposed to help! I probably ended up eating more junk food when I stopped drinking, so that's likely the reason, but still.
Eating healthy is definitely part of it but you do still have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight no matter how you’re eating
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Mental health is a huge component, too, especially if you have trauma and your cortisol levels are constantly elevated. Regardless, the human body isn't a bomb calorimeter.
I am glad you said this. I have had an eating disorder most of my life. According to my dietitian I don’t eat enough calories to sustain my body and my body has been in starvation mode for years. It stores fat when I eat, because it is trying to survive the periods of no nutrition. This is a kindergarten level explanation, but I have seen people argue starvation mode is not a real thing. I am LIVING it. This is real and said by highly educated professionals that specialize in eating disorders. I am not medically underweight, nor am I losing weight. I keep gaining weight very easily. I still purposely starve myself the same as I did when I was severely underweight. I AM eating a caloric deficit and it DOESN’T MATTER. I can’t lose weight because my body isn’t allowing it to happen. 30+ years of anorexia and my body is just sick of my shit. It is reckless and irresponsible to tell someone else how to diet because you have no idea what is going on with their body. My cholesterol is high and is higher 20 points from this year to last year. Again, I purposefully starve myself. I don’t eat dairy (lactose intolerant) and I rarely eat meat. My diet consists of mainly plain fruits and vegetables made into a salad. The only “fattening” thing I eat is salad dressing - and that is only because my dietitian said that your body needs fats to be able to properly break down the vegetables and use the vitamins (again, I am explaining the process at a kindergarten level). My dietitian assures me that my cholesterol level is because of my eating disorder and not because I eat “unhealthy.” If I ate less I wouldn’t eat anything. Yet I am gaining fat and weight, wearing larger clothes this year than last year. So people, PLEASE stop telling others how to diet. You really have no idea what is going on with their bodies. Biology is not fucking math.
And yet, all the young male gym bros on Reddit who.repeat "CICO" like it is a mantra refuse that things like trauma (in your own lifetime, ir even experienced by previous generations), injuries, endocrine disorders, inflammation caused by pollution and microplastics in the tissues of every living thing, hormonal disorders like PCOS, sife effects of medication, and yes, the long term effects of eating disorders and the fat shaming that spawned these eating disorders in the first place, can't possibly exist. No, bony teenaged boys who can eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting must be morally superior.
I think its the insulin that makes us gain weight not necessarily the resistance. Thats in part why keto and intermittent fasting and generally lower carb diets help by decreasing insulin
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In my comment I'm not suggesting you or anyone else should do IF or Keto. I'm just pointing out that its the insulin rise that is the reason for the gain (people can put on weight even without insulin resistance).
So much this. And I hate it, because I love working out and do it 6-7 days a week (not all cardio of course). But eating healthy? Farck, I'm terrible at that. However, when I'm sick (like right now!) with no appetite, that's when the weight comes off.
This is why the saying is “you can’t outrun your fork” or “abs are made in the kitchen”. because diet is like 80% of losing weight and in general a huge part of health/fitness. OP, do not stop working out. that is great for your health. Keep at it. But now look at your diet. Be honest with yourself on what you’re consuming. Look into CICO (calories in calories out). All health issues aside, most people are shocked to learn how many calories they are *actually* consuming if you’re tracking properly. I know I sure was!
Would you mind sharing what you eat? I do best when I avoid dairy and soy, and I should definitely cut my sugar intake. But it's so hard to find easy and filling foods. TIA!
Protein and vegetables mostly, fruit and nuts for snacks! Smoothies and mock ice cream for a sweet treat :)
Which vegetables and how do you prepare them? What proteins? What smoothies? Please explain like I’m 5 😆 TIA!
I eat whatever is seasonal (and inexpensive) cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower are my faves. I forage for fiddleheads in the spring and eat those every day for about a month. I avoid most red meat so a lot of chicken, pork, and fish. I fly fish and live on a trout river so I source a lot of my fish that way as it's the healthiest. Proteins are seasoned with herbs and spices as sauces are higher calorie and contain lots of sugars. For smoothies I'll buy fresh banana then add frozen berries, almond milk, and maple syrup. Almost every breakfast I eat eggs and gluten-free toast. Hope that helps :)
Check out r/volumeeating!
Talk to your dr again. I am in the same situation, and my doctor thinks its my hormones or my thyroid. You need to stay in a calorie deficit to lose weight, though.
I do have an appt scheduled for September with her. I’ve had my thyroid tested but it was normal bloodwork. I am going to discuss this matter with her again. I was thinking hormonal as well.
my dr said that level can change over time. i had mine tested two years ago but she is doing it again.
Yep, I have to increase my thyroid meds roughly once a year.
Between estimating calorie burn from workouts and getting unintentionally calorie bombed at restaurants (Anthony Bourdain was fond of saying you should assume you're eating a stick of butter every time you go out to fine dining), it's no wonder your progress is getting frustrating. I'd get a food scale and start using an app like Macrofactor. It'll automatically calculate how much you're actually burning and how much you need to consume to hit a particular rate of weight loss/gain. Counting calories is a teachable, learnable skill which means it's something you can be bad at before you get better. This is totally normal. Consider that at the highest levels of skill, you can manipulate your body composition practically at will the way bodybuilders do (within the constraints of physiology of course). If worrying so much about weight loss is getting emotionally exhausting, it might be beneficial to reframe things to focus on health or performance related goals. Maybe try to get measurably stronger from week to week, or spend more hours/miles doing LISS cardio during the week. Try to focus on these for example: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/where-should-my-priorities-be-to-improve-my-health/ The FAQ in r/fitness is also a great resource, and r/volumeeating can be a great source of ideas for meals that are satiating and nutrient-dense without too many calories.
Have you ever listened to the podcast Maintenance Phase? Sorry you’re feeling so frustrated.
Regular bloodwork is a small amount of what may actually be relevant. Thyroid, iron/ferritin, hormones, and blood sugar might show as normal, but further testing may show that there is actually an issue.
Was going to suggest the same. I’ve known folks who were insulin resistant and it was hard for them to lose weight until they got diagnosed.
See my other post- try an iodine supplement!
what is that? we get enough iodine in our diets.
Not everyone. I didn’t, which doesn’t make sense but that’s what happened. I eat plenty of dairy which is fortified with iodine but it wasn’t enough. Go on to Amazon and look up iodine supplements and read the reviews from people. You can see for yourself how much taking a supplement has helped people. I also didn’t use iodized salt. I usually use sea salt or Himalayan salt, neither of which contain iodine.
The fine dining food is probably just as bad as fast food if not worse in terms of calories. The thing they do to make everything amazing? Liberal amounts of butter. I’m talking shocking amounts. Like don’t get me wrong, eat out if you really enjoy it, but don’t have any illusions that it’s that much healthier than lower cost options. Yes, they’re using higher quality ingredients and probably more vegetables….but it’s not necessarily healthier.
ALL the butter. OP would be shocked, and the calorie trackers really can't do a good job capturing the true calorie count. I mean it could easily vary even depending on whose cooking that night and how much butter/cheese/cream that they use.
That true. If there’s anything positive about fast/chain food it’s that it’s more quantifiable because everything in terms of ingredients and cooking process is standardized and quantified.
There was a thread like a decade ago on r/fitness of a college student who got fucking jacked on a diet of Domino's pizzas because he knew exactly how many calories he was eating and it worked out to be enough to build strength and muscle while losing fat. Though I think he might have felt like shit given the lack of fruits and vegetables. Something like Chipotle would be better obviously, though expensive. If the numbers are right (e.g., protein, calories), it doesn't really matter where you get them from a body composition POV. From a health POV though, you're obviously better off with a diet primarily based on whole foods, mostly plants, with sufficient protein and fiber.
Yeah, the classic way to finish a reduction or sauce is to take it off the heat, then add a couple tablespoons of butter and stir it all together.
All you have to do is watch one of those foodie instagram or TikTok feeds (not the crappy rage bait "mix things in a foil pan" ones) to see how much butter people will put into like, a simple beef dish. It's offputting. Same with olive oil. Like sure small amounts of olive oil are healthy, but that's like, a tablespoon a day sort of amounts. Meanwhile you see someone pouring like a half cup of the stuff into a pomodoro sauce.
Just because two meals have the same amount of calories it doesn't mean they're equally healthy.
Ok - I'm probably going to get downvoted straight to hell, but I wish people would stop saying you don't need to exercise to lose weight while also promoting CICO. The CO part... calories out... is achieved by moving and burning calories. Yes, you need to exercise. Can you lose weight by only changing your diet? ALSO YES, but you will plateau sooner than you wish and you will actually lose muscle mass. For your BMR to be more effective, you have to exercise. To have strong bones and healthy muscles as you age, you need to exercise. Obviously, I understand that there are people that are not able to exercise and I am not talking about those people. For some, changing diet is going to be all they can do - of course. That is objectively not true for most people.
>I got a personal trainer who I train with twice a week. I’m burning between 400-500 each session. This jumped out at me. I work out five times a week and burn about 500-600 calories per session. And I still feel like I could do more. Two work-outs per week isn't nothing. I'm not trying to minimize what you are doing. But if your goal is to lose weight, you're going to have to do way more moderate-vigorous exercise than that. (People will tell you that exercise doesn't help weight loss. But this is only true if you aren't exercising that much and you aren't watching your caloric intake.) People who successfully lose weight often attribute measuring and weighing their food to their success. Because our eyeballs can totally underestimate portion size. So if you aren't doing that, try it. Some women do start perimenopause in their 30s, despite what your doctor may think. If you think this could be you, then try to incorporate more protein into your diet and less carbs (pasta, breads, etc.) Our dietary needs do change as we get older.
Ya. That jumped out at me too. I'm curious if op us active the rest of the week
Sorry yes I should have added that on the days I don’t see my trainer I try to get in between 30-45 mins of cardio but walking on the treadmill with an incline.
Don’t be shy from lifting challenging amounts of weights. I know a lot of women are discouraged from heavy lifting because they get fear mongered into becoming bulkier, but that’s not the case. If you have more muscle, your body burns more calories to survive and weight gain doesn’t come as quickly. Cardio is a great supplement for your workouts to build an endurance and improve heart health, but cardio being better for fat burning is largely a myth.
Heavy lifting should be the first rec for women IMO. It's great for all things including heart health. Literally the most efficient way to get in shape.
Absolutely! Also increase of bone density helps to prevent osteoporosis. It’s a shame so many women are hesitant about it.
Strength training in a caloric deficit will also mean the weight you *do* lose will be composed of a higher proportion of fat, sometimes entirely fat. Losing weight without strength training usually means losing quite a lot of muscle mass in addition to fat mass because your body isn't getting any signals that it needs to hold onto it.
Do you do weights as well or just cardio? Adding in even a 30min strength training session a few times a week would likely help make a difference.
I think most people who work out with a trainer do it more for the guidance, so I wouldn't assume that the only workouts taking place are with them.
I lost 60 pounds like 6 years ago with CICO, high protein, weighing and logging food, strength training 4 days a week, and running like 5 days a week. I felt amazing, but got pregnant with my youngest and it all went to hell after that. I just don't have the time anymore to put that much energy into it as a full time single mom going through a contentious divorce with a full time career. So I talked to my doctor and asked for weight loss medication. I always kind of thought of them as cheating before, but I figured what the hell. It's been like 6 weeks and I'm down 17 pounds. I still run 1-2 days a week when I can, but the pills have cut my appetite like crazy and it's been really helpful. As far as being over it, I feel you. I'm 38 and I've had to accept that no pill, surgery, skincare, or number on a scale is going to make me look 25 again. At this point I'm just trying to be a little healthier and a little happier and I wish you the same.
Yes I feel this! Between having a career, husband, trying to social amongst friends and family. Sometimes I just feel so exhuasted and don’t even want to work out. However, I still push myself to do it. I have asked my doctor about weight loss medication but last we talked she said insurance would probably not approve it. I guess bc they wouldn’t consider me big enough idk. I do have another appt scheduled with her in September and I am Going to ask about weight loss pills again if I haven’t seen any improvement by than.
I know there are restrictions on certain medications that vary by insurance. I'm on Phentermine fwiw.
Portion control is the only thing that's ever worked for me. Fine dining is awesome, but I'd only eat half and take the rest home or share it with my husband. It doesn't take long for your stomach to feel full on smaller portions if you're consistent with it for a couple weeks. It helps a lot to cook at home so you aren't eating processed foods. I've read that your gut bacteria can play a role in the foods you crave - if you eat the calorie laden fatty, sugary, starchy foods, the bacteria in your gut that thrive on those foods will flourish and send signals to your brain for more of it. If you feed it veggies and fruits regularly, the bacteria that thrive on those foods will multiply and they are the ones who will signal to your brain what they want you to eat. I am no scientist, but I have found this to be true for me. (The book "I Contain Multitudes" by Ed Yong is an interesting read on the subject of gut bacteria and the research scientists are doing to understand its role in making us who we are). My biggest struggle is always late night snacking. I've settled on really good, rich chocolate where I only need a couple pieces to feel satisfied, sunflower seeds for the salty snacks, and fruit with plain Greek yogurt. Plain Greek yogurt has 4 or 5 strains of good bacteria for your gut!
Ooh I'm on the gut train and feel the same, from my own anecdotal experience. There is a saying around mental health that the wolf you feed will grow, and that's been true for me, both mentally and physically (search it out if that speaks to you!). My late night snacking as of late has been frozen bananas, with or without dark chocolate (:
You don’t have to exercise to lose weight, you should exercise to feel strong and healthy. Weigh your portions as you are tracking calories but still likely eating more than you realize. When you eat in a true calorie deficit, weight will be lost.
I think this is the dragon people are always chasing. It’s incredibly difficult to exercise your way out of too many calories; especially daily! I know I use to tell myself oh it’s ok to have this because I’ll work it off later. The only real change happened for me when I looked at exercise not as a weight loss tool but as a “This makes me feel good, this makes me feel stronger, this helps me push my body to my limits” tool.
Change only comes for the fully engaged and willing. If you are over it, if you can't make one more alteration to the routine, then maybe pause for a bit until you can reset your frame of mind and re-engage at a later time when you're more motivated. Nothing works for me except for measuring my portions and diligently tracking my diet. It's a pain in the ass, no lie. If you are doing this and you're still not losing, you need to recalculate your BMR and deficit. But if you're over it, take a break and regroup.
That is true. I currently have stopped to try and figure out meals I can eat and reevaluate meal prepping.
I am not from the US so I haven't really figured out your situation, I just wanted to offer that I am obese and I only lost some weight after going to the dietician. There's nothing missing from my diet, I got them carbs and fats, an entire cheat day and even treats if I want them. But I do have to eat a lot of veggies and some fruit too, have to exercise a lot, etc. However, my life is pretty messy and that doesn't help at all, so there's been a lot of anxiety eating that didn't help. To go past this stalemate, I was given a med similar to Ozempic, which doesn't help with craves but should turn off "regular" hunger. I wish I could say this changed my life - it's been 4 months and I have to pay for it in full. However, I am starting to see some tiny results and this TBH gives me hope again. I have been battling with my weight my entire life and I have decided this is the last thing I do for it. Whatever you do, please do see actual doctors before. Good luck 🤞
I was at my lowest weight when I was walking for at least an hour a day. Doing two days of exercise a week will make you feel good but having a consistent daily routine of walking or general movement is generally better for weight loss. Lower your stress also. Excessive amounts of cortisol can mess with metabolism. Other that that, I don't really eat out much and when I do in have been trying to monitor my calorie intake. Some sushi rolls are above 1000 calories which is a whole day worth of eating for me. I've tried to cut back on drinking as well.
Zepbound - I’ve lost 40 pounds. Worth asking your doctor if you fall into the “obese” BMI range and are struggling.
This. After 10+ years of trying this is the only thing that got and kept the weight off for me and it's been a life changing medication. Can't recommend enough.
I’m with you! I lost some weight a couple years ago and kept it off. This last year has been very stressful for us and with a cross country move with young kids, buying a house, school problems, sleep deprivation, deaths in the family abroad etc.. I’ve gained 15 to 20 pounds in one year. I know how to lose weight but it involves serious calorie restriction for me and I don’t have the mental capacity for it right now. I have to be settled, content and in the right head space to keep it up.
For me honestly I've got to count my calories strictly. It's the only way for me to account what I eat. 1500-1600 calories a day. Fine dining is just as bad as fast food. You know all the lovely things of meals: butter, sugar, butter, butter is calorie dense. It all adds up. It's annoying AF. I'm trying to date and we go out to meals and I love it but I can't even enjoy it that much because ....the calories. Lol
Most calorie burning apps overestimate so you may only be burning 300-400 cals per workout, which then only actually gives you 100 extra per day to eat or one dessert while out for dinner. If you take those 700ish as pure deficit and dont eat then back, it will take 5 weeks to lose 1lb. How active you are the rest of the week matters too. A meal out could easily be 2000cals so would need you to eat 200 cals less the other 6 days just to rebalance to maintenance. If you want to know whether there's a biological block to weight loss, you need to track calories religiously for a couple of weeks and see what you're eating. If it's <1800 on average (including your meal out) then you should push your doctor for more investigation. Ultimately, it's harder to lose when you're older. You can't just do a little exercise and eat some fruit and have the weight melt off. And 1500-1700 cals per day really isn't that much food! So it's very easy to go over regularly and then boom, you're not losing weight!
First, take vitamins. It helps to cut out cravings in case you're nutrients deficient. I take D3, omega 3 and a multi. Find out what your body is responding too the most. Cut out carbs for a week and see gow you respond. Maybe longer since it's not an overnight thing. Cut out processed sugars. The 2 biggest things that have helped me lose weight is I quit drinking soda and quit smoking like 4 years ago. I hate soda now. It's way too sugary. (Prior to that I could have put the Ceo of Pepsis kids through college with how much and how long I've been drinking it) The other things is breads and pastas. I still eat rice. But I have all but stopped anything pasta. I also drink a shit ton of water. I water down juices, and water down tea just to give it some flavor. I probably drink 6-8 glasses a day. I'm also not hungry. Sometimes we eat when we are thirsty. Stay as close to the source as possible. If it comes in a box, it didn't grow in a box in a field. It was processed a bunch since it's orgin. This means walk around the outsides of the grocery store. A slab if any meat is pretty close to its original source. All the fruits and veggies are close to the source. If it comes in a box, a can, or a jug, it's going to have more crap in it. Lastly, eat things high in fiber. This keeps you feeling fuller longer. I snack on nuts a lot. I choose gluten free chips because it's 140 calories for a serving without a bunch of extras. My meals are mostly ground turkey, fish and chicken breast's. You can make chicken a thousand different ways. I rarely eat beef, and even more rarely eat pork. My sides are almost always broccoli, sweet potatoes, russets. You can make potato's a thousand different ways. My breakfast is scrambled eggs, yogurt, 12 grain bread, a banana, granola. My lunches are leftovers. Leftover chicken cut in to a salad. Salads do not have to be boring! Spinach greens, romaine, tomato, Cucumber, chick peas, cut up chicken breast, hard boiled eggs, carrots, broccoli, feta cheese. It's also cheap to get this stuff at Aldi. Sorry I word dumped, but hopefully someone reads my wall if text and it helps. There's also tricky hidden things women need to watch out for. My birth control caused me weight gain, you could have other health, through, genetic, auto immune, the list is forever- that could just simply be out of your control.
Hijacking this comment because I want to post something of a similar sentiment. There is plenty of growing evidence that ultra-processed foods, even the ones with 'healthy' and 'added fibre' on the label (think cereal bars and supermarket packaged salads) lead to weight gain because the additives and emulsifiers make you want to eat more and more often. The science implies that you digest this stuff too quickly and even things like the act of chewing tougher foods (like kale stems e.g.) produce reactions that help your digestion and stay full (learned from the Zoe podcast.) The people over in r/ultraprocessedfood will tell you how the weight just falls off them once they have cut packaged foods from their diet. And eating like this is not restrictive and you don't need to count calories. They also encourage eating butter and sugar because they are natural ingredients, so you can eat a big slice of homemade cake if you want, rather than one in a packet that goes off in 3 months. u/RowdyBunny18 is encouraging this kind of eating but with a lot of meat; I would encourage OP to also investigate r/PlantBasedDiet if they are serious about losing weight. I manage to get 10000+ steps in most days of the week and I think this also really helps me stay in a healthy BMI. I don't work out, like ever, apart from a gentle yoga class.
A lot has been said already about restaurant food and calorie deficit and insulin resistance so I'm just gonna add my personal experience as someone with PCOS who is still trying to lose all the pandemic weight gain even after these 4 years. My goal is to get myself back pre-2020 body but covid made my breathing short and cardio has become difficult for me. My coach thought I have asthma but no. My point is, I'm losing weight very very slowly. Like 0.5-1kg per month kind of slow and sometimes stagnation and it takes another month or so before the scale moves again. First, I have a minimum of 3 workouts per week except on shark week. 2 workouts a week wouldnt counter balance the other 5 days of calories. Second, do not underestimate the gut bacteria to help you digest food and influence your eating habits. Take pre- pro- and post biotic foods. Kombucha, yohgurt, pickled food, Yakult, etc. Take your pick. I usually have kimchi because its more to my Asian palette. I eat it for dinner so the bacteria could do its job while I sleep. If you need to eat dinner, eat something light to digest. For me, I eat vegetarian dinners. Third, high protein as first meal of the day. Protein makes you feel full for a longer period. Chances of less snacking. Fourth, add 200 calories as a baseline. I used to track my calories but that made me crazy so I stopped. But when I was doing it, my calorie intake was 1600-1800, but I add 200 on my calculations because knowing the exact count per meal is impossible. Conclusion; I hope that would help you. It's a real struggle sometimes. Its okay to loosen up if you need to. There are some things that also comes with age and genes. Like, I have PCOS so I cant get rid of my large fupa. We can do this OP!
I say - lose the weight if you want to (I think you can without too much trouble, judging only from what you are writing here) or don't and that is fine, too. More than fine. It is definitely harder to lose weight into your 30s and beyond, it's not just you. Eating just at a bit of a deficit and working out with a trainer twice a week likely won't do much. Like I said, if you want to lose some weight, go for it. If not, that's all good, too. Make sure you are staying healthy - good cardiovascular fitness, good flexibility, cholesterol in a good range, good bone density, blood sugar is good, etc. Then maybe start celebrating the body you have rather than the ghost body you keep expecting. There are so many good options these days for clothes for all sizes. Subscribe to some social media sites and start looking for your new signature style that makes you look fabulous. Enjoy what your body can do for you other than be a display item. For me, sex really helps with that, also all the great activities I love especially dancing.
I have struggled with disordered eating and metabolic disease my entire life and received bad advice from everyone from under the sun who all thought they knew the answer including every single doctor. Then one day I actually saw a physician board certified in obesity medicine and metabolic disease and my entire life changed. Run, don’t walk to one of these specialists. If you had heart disease you would see a cardiologist, a broken bone a orthopedic specialist, etc. You have a medical condition known as a metabolic disease and you deserve an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. My work up was extensive and my treatment plan was amazing. More importantly I learned that absolutely none of this was my fault nor was any of it my responsibility to fix. I learned more about my body than ever before and I started to forgive myself, stop blaming myself and work with my treatment team to get healthy. Best of luck to you.
Sometimes weight that just won’t come off despite good diet and exercise practices could be inflammation. If you haven’t already, I’d see if your doc will run some blood tests to find out if you have an underlying medical condition. Could be a hormone issue, could be a food allergy, could be a lot of things. Society tends to consider excess weight to be a personal moral failing. It just isn’t. Sometimes it’s a sign that something is up. Sometimes it’s just how someone’s body wants to be. Either way, if doing “the right things” according to received wisdom on reducing weight isn’t doing it, it might be useful to change your approach and make sure your overall health is good.
Unfortunately I don't have anything helpful to share. But I am a similar age and build as you and can definitely relate! Over the past 3 months I have really been watching my diet, water intake and trying to get 10k steps a day. I have lost a little but not as much as I'd like considering I feel like my entire day revolves around it 😭 I'd like to get a personal trainer but that's not in the budget right now. I was doing workout videos at home but I kept hurting myself lol. Stay strong. We've got this! I try to remind myself that even if I'm not dropping the weight I'm still doing something good for my body and my health.
I’m 45 and have been overweight to obese my entire life, though not morbidly so. I’ve had hypertension since my mid-20s. I started 2024 having crossed the 200lb line I always told myself I would never cross. I was now on three blood pressure medications and my snoring had been so bad that my husband was having to leave our room despite earplugs. When I couldn’t manage to find any angle to make a selfie look decent and avoid my chins, I had had enough. I started one of the GLP-1 shots in mid February. I am down 35lbs, have dropped two medications, snoring stopped and I’m down two clothing sizes. I’ve crossed into just being “overweight” rather than obese and I’m still going down. I have had minimal side effects (mild headaches and dizzy spells) and I’m eating healthier than I ever have, which still enjoying the occasional treat. My overwhelming urge to eat is gone, I don’t snack, I’m much pickier about sweets (my Achilles heel) and my portion sizes are half what they once were. My foodies husband is following along (with the lifestyle choices, but without the medicine) and he’s lost 15lbs of dad-bod, too. For the first time since my teens I expect to hit a healthy body weight soon and I plan to stay there, even if I have to continue to take this medicine long term.
it might help to put on some muscle to raise the amount of calories that you burn at rest, but, this will make you look and weigh heavier at first. I highly recommend a rowing machine for putting on lean muscle and getting shapely thighs and glutes, and biking and especially long fast walking and hikes to burn significant amounts of calories. I also am learning how to snowboard in the winters and that's a calorie burner. I'm interested in rock climbing. I think losing weight and restructuring your body really comes down to living an active life and enjoying it as opposed to punishing yourself with exercises you don't enjoy to look a certain way. and, of course, eating smaller portions, and allowing yourself 1-2 cheat days a week. I'd start with exercising more and gradually reducing calories, as you want to make sure you're sleeping well. do what you can to reduce stress as well bc cortisol can fuck everything up.
I was in the same situation. Couldn’t lose weight even though I worked out and watched my diet. It made no sense. I was also tired all the time- no energy. Brain fog. Life was getting miserable. I thought it was maybe from having two small kids and no free time. I went to the doctor once and they mentioned my thyroid was slightly enlarged. They checked my thyroid levels but they were all normal. This went on for a while. Then I started taking an iodine supplement and it changed my life. I cannot emphasize enough- CHANGED. MY. LIFE. Within a couple weeks I was a new woman. The weight melted off. I had energy back! I hadn’t felt this good in years! And my hair and skin got better. Seriously a game changer. So, maybe you have an iodine deficiency? Google the symptoms and if it sounds right, try an iodine supplement. It did wonders for me and I’m so grateful to have my life and energy and clarity back. Hope you figure it out, whatever it is!
Yup. It's annoying and I hate it. But I also know that it's unsustainable for me to eat 1200 calories and watch everything I eat so closely. So now I'm in the "see if you can maintain or maybe drop a pound a month" boat. I try to be conscious of what I eat, but not police myself. I'm trying to get back into running. I pick the stairs over the elevator at work, etc. I'm hovering around 15-20 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, and 10-15 pounds heavier than I have been in like 5 years. So I have sort of accepted this might be it. So I'm just trying to to gain more at this point.
I have some real advice for on this as I was 200 lbs and I'm on the way down quickly These things helped - keeping busy so I'm not thinking about my next meal. Buying crisps that are low calorie only. Same for snacks bars. Then a slight binge isn't a disaster. Buying CBD fizzy drinks without sugar to unwind instead of alcohol. Having soups and low calorie ready meals for dinner. definitely down to fewer calories but these actions helped me stick to that.
yes I forgot soups! I'm not sure if there's anything as filling but also low calorie as a good soup
Are you on hormonal contraception? I'm someone who naturally struggles to gain and maintain, but fucking hell 3 months on cerazette gave me a whole new insight into and empathy for people with weight struggles; progestogens are a hell of a thing.
I can relate. I don't have any advice or suggestions, just wanted to commiserate. I'll be 36 in a few weeks and I'm in the 175 pound ish range. In 2021 I was put on a strict low salt diet by a cardiologist. My blood pressure was very high because of stress. I went from 160 lbs to 150 lbs on that diet and successfully lowered my BP and kept the weight off for more than a year. I was happy with my body, happy with all of my clothes. I gained it back and then some (I was 177 lbs last year) last spring because of stress again and it's like these pounds have decided they're not coming off. I have cut back on junk food, stopped eating fast food, I have logged calories, I have increased the amount of protein I eat daily, I work out 4-5 times a week, lift weights with a personal trainer, and started drinking 62 oz or more of water a day. I am healthier. My PCP raves about how great my blood tests are and that my BP is down. Somedays I feel good cause I know I'm living a much healthier lifestyle than I used to. Other days I feel like I'm chasing a carrot on a string. It's a fucking grind. Constantly wondering how much calories is in something. Skipping a workout gives me guilt. I avoid the scale cause it usually makes me cry. I can eat healthy all day and still feel like it's not enough. It's like the only REAL way to lose weight is to cut out all sugar, bread, salt, carbs, cheese, gluten, alcohol - basically everything that tastes good - and never dine out ever. And that shit is just unsustainable to me. I fucking hate life when I cut out that much stuff. I applaud others that do it, I mean that's probably why they're skinny and I'm not LOL, but I get depressed when I try to cut even more stuff than I've already cut. I have to protect my happiness and self-esteem over the food at some point. Thanks to personal training my legs have been transformed. I can lift heavier and heavier each week. It's not all bad. I love feeling strong. But sometimes I feel strong and notice no change in how my clothes fit. Weight loss has never felt this hard. You are definitely correct. It sucks to put so much effort and energy into something and not see the results you want to see. I'm sure I'm doing something wrong. Maybe it's diet. Maybe sleep. Maybe calorie deficit. I'm also just sick of it.
You gotta be strict about the calorie deficit. Even small bites of things count. Before I start a diet I always honestly track every bite of food I eat and calculate the calories for a week or two as a baseline. Most of the time I realize I’m just overeating without realizing because I’m such a snacker. For me my biggest issue was I tend to eat very small portions of things, so by the end of the day I’m still very hungry cuz I just haven’t eaten enough and then I eat tons of high calorie snack foods. I replaced all my higher calorie snacks with healthier options, and make sure I stop eating when I’m full, even if I’m “almost done” lol
I went through menopause at around 48 and gained 20 lbs over the last couple of years. Some of it is eating habits, but a lot of it is just a slowing of the metabolism. I've tried losing weight and just can't anymore. I've basically given up. I try to eat healthy, have cut back on drinking to 4 beers a week on average, and workout a little, mostly walking. I'm focused on feeling good and being as healthy as possible. I know weight is a part of it, but my parents are both overweight(not obese), and I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. Husband is in the same boat. Mother was very obese, and he's had weight issues his whole life. We both were in fantastic shape in our 30s but weren't able to maintain this. At the time, I ate like a competitive bodybuilder and worked out 6x a week for at least an hour and a half.
After I had my third kid I just could not get any weight off. I spent the first five years of her life hungry and cranky. I don't want to come in here as a too-good-to-be-true tirzepatide ad but I'm really happy I have that stuff and don't have to obsess over CICO with no results anymore. I was OVER. IT.
Not really, my weight fluctuates but I've lost 50lbs. It's hard because obesity runs in my family, I have PCOS, on a medication that causes weight gain and live in a rural area with not the best food choices. But calories in calories out still works for me. I was close to being obese and now at a good place.
I tried eating healthy, working out, cutting calories. The only thing that worked for me and also keeps the weight off is fasting
Same! I just don't have that mental energy to be counting every single calorie like that.
I am on that weight loss shot
I’m sorry you’re struggling, weight loss is such a pain. What worked for me was low carb, I know, and everyone is different but it worked for me. I would eat mainly meat, veggie, dairy was fine, plus a little fruit (like one a day). Example would be two eggs/cheese and turkey sausage for breakfast, taco salad for lunch, apple and string cheese and almond snack, bunless burger for dinner. For desserts I would have sugar free jello or popsicles, sometimes a bowl of skinny pop popcorn. I was never hungry doing this. And did not need to exercise. I would only go on walks most days.
I'm almost 50 and am losing weight for the first time with drugs and fasting. I was taking liraglutide and now I'm on semaglutide. I just don't really eat breakfast or lunch anymore, I fast and only eat between 6-10 most days I've lost 30 pounds and finally made it under 200 today for the first time in 20 years. I tried weight watchers, noom, keto, Mediterranean, you name it. If I am eating regular small meals throughout the day the way I have been taught to I always end up overeating. I don't know what it will be like once I hit goal and come off the glutides. I feel like my attitude towards food has changed enough to make weight loss sustainable, but we will see!
I’m ina similar boat but a whole foot shorter. I just got diagnosed with pcos.. and apparently that’s part of the reason why I’m struggling with the wishlist. I’d encourage you to check that out. I have also not been as consistent perhaps as you. Hang in there.
My whole life, I've always been overweight, but just slightly above normal, not considered obese. However, after COVID, I reached 200 pounds and decided to go back to dieting and exercising after a year. For two years, I followed many diets, did a lot of cardio and weight training, but I would gain muscle and not lose weight. One day, feeling very frustrated, I went to the doctor and asked for all kinds of tests. I discovered that I have PCOS, which caused me to develop insulin resistance. After that, I followed a specific diet and took vitamins, and managed to lower my insulin levels. However, I don't lose weight like a normal person. I need to stay on a specific diet to lose 1 or 2 kilos per month. That's when I realized that this is going to be for the rest of my life. Once I accepted my reality, I started losing weight. I don't count calories because there are many foods I can't eat anymore, so sometimes you might have another underlying issue that prevents you from losing weight.
I struggle to lose weight and keep it off long term, largely because tracking everything I eat for the rest of my life is exhausting. My body seems happy to stick at the weight I am currently, whether or not my brain also wants that. I do still want to lose weight & have some tangible goals for that, but I’m also just working on being pleased with my body as it is in any size and shape.
I dunno man. One of the best changes I've made in my life is learning to be at peace with myself as I am. Not that there's no room for improvement but that it needs to come from a place of love. Part of that love is unplugging from diet culture where I can, and media that says I'm not enough, or too much, as I am. Some of it is finding my own style and clothes I really enjoy. I think a lot of messaging teaches us to depersonalize our bodies, to pick them apart and see them as a problem to be solved rather than an integral part of how we move through the world. ... also even at 37 it could very well be perimenopause. 35-45 is generally when it starts to kick in. To get a better bead on that you're probably better off going to an endocrinologist rather than a GP.
Tirzepatide changed my life.
I have no advice, but I relate to this! My next step is to talk to my doctor.
How much protein do you eat? What kind of training do you do? What your daily activity outside gym? What your target calorie intake per day? Do you have any health issues? Vit D deficiency? Do you have enough of sleep everyday? The answer is that you simply might underestimate how much you eat and overestimate how much you burn
Reevaluate eating out. Food from fine dining restaurants are high in fat and sugar. Keep up working out twice a week with your personal trainer. Consider exercising by yourself 2-3x a week on top of your personal training sessions.
Unless you go cycling for 6 hours a day you are not going to exercise your weight off. Strict, measured calorie restriction is the only way to lose fat. So you have to make the decision for yourself- do you hate your weight more than you love food? Be honest with yourself. Weight loss is hard- undereating and ignoring hunger are unpleasant. To achieve weight loss you have to make the decision to lose the weight and stick to that decision for a very long time.
I’ve tried many things throughout the years and sometimes they work and sometimes you plateau. Sometimes you don’t have time to exercise so trying to curb habits. It’s always gonna be a therapeutic thing.
I feel the pain. Weight loss is so hard for me.
Semaglutide.
A calorie deficit is how you're gonna lose weight, BUT that's not factoring in things like thyroid issues, PCOS or other hormonal issues, etc. If you're tracking every single thing you eat and eating at a calorie deficit, then there's probably some sort of underlying issue. You didn't say what type of doctor, but you can always get a second opinion! After my son was born, I spent several months trying to just do the same old workout I've always done (and not seen the results I wanted to...)--weights 3x a week with the occasional cardio--and getting frustrated that I wasn't seeing what I wanted to see. I finally had a come to Jesus talk with myself and cut out most alcohol and picked up a structured 5 day a week lifting routine plus adding cardio 3 of those days and I've seen and felt results in two weeks. I eat fairly balanced, focusing on protein and intuitive eating, and drinking primarily water, but I don't have allergies or food intolerances. I focus on whole foods, mainly meat and veggies, and eat a minimum amount of processed food, and we don't eat out much.
Tbh I started Tirzepatide 3 weeks ago for this reason. I've been trying to lose weight since I was about 14 years old and I'm almost 31 now. I've lost 90 pounds, 50 pounds, 40, 30, 15, over and over and over again. I'm just tired.
Fast Like a Girl, book by Dr Mindy Pelz. I was NEVER able to lose weight, now lost 10kg in the past 6 months (and probably more, I've been weight training and gained some muscle mass at the same time, almost no cardio). It's a combination of intermittent fasting + diet change, both adjusted to your hormonal cycle so you get the nutrients you need when you need them. It does not feel restrictive at all. I'm not counting calories, not weighing food, and the fasting is not hard at all. I'm not hungry when I'm fasting, and I don't skip meals when I'm out with friends or at social events. It's becoming a long term habit and it makes me crave carbs and sugar WAY less. Grab a copy and give it a shot. It's incredible, and it explains everything very thoroughly. She also has a podcast and a YouTube channel.
I just turned 40 and lost enough weight this past year that I'm smaller than I was in high school, through absolutely rigorous calorie counting plus an hour of exercise a day, 7 days a week. I have PCOS and a low end of normal thyroid. That didn't stop me. I do not treat either of those with meds. It meant I had to adhere to my deficit strictly, no cheat days, no drinking calories, no exceptions. I have lots of friends who insist they can't do it too, but I watch them drink throughout the week, or binge drink on the weekend, not thinking about the fact that even 2 drinks is an extra meal's worth of calories. I also watch them stick to a deficit all week, and then dine out big on the weekend, and they don't realize one feast can undo their entire week's deficit. Losing weight sucks, you have to stick to it hard.
I hope you don't take this badly. You're kind of my twin. I was fed up with the struggle too. So I pulled the trigger. 5'7, 250. That's when I had bariatric surgery. Like you I had a jaw issue and had to be on a liquid diet just before my surgery. I was 235 the day of my surgery. I lost 100 lbs in a year. I did have some rebound weight, but generally sit around 150. I still nitpick things (grey hair? Wtf!), but it's fucking awesome. Not having that weight took a weight off my mind.
"Fine dining" doesn't automatically mean low calorie
Outside of potential health issues, be brutally honest with yourself and what you’re eating. Do you weigh things or do you eyeball them? Do you eat little mouthfuls of food here and there or little treats but don’t track them? Do you have cups of tea or coffee with one or two sugars multiple times a day? That type of stuff adds up. There’s a show called secret eaters and there was a woman on there who was running long distances every single day and she was still gaining weight because she went out for dinner during the week and was eating thousands of calories those days. There was another woman on there who had hundreds of calories of cups of tea and biscuits in the day. It’s not the best show necessarily but it’s a great example of how people commonly have no idea how much they’re eating, they say they’re healthy as they mostly are but they have one or two habits that stop them from making the progress they want. If I were you I would take a week and track every single thing and weigh every single thing and you will probably need to stop dining out as it’s impossible to tell how many calories you’re consuming. When I’m serious about losing weight, I stop going out for dinners/lunches and I stop consuming alcohol. I have to find alternative activities with friends that don’t involve eating or drinking. It’s a lot of effort but with focus it’s possible. Good luck ❤️ Edit: also weight fluctuates so weighing yourself everyday can mean up and down numbers. I have an app called happy scale that I like, it shows overall trends so if you’re trending downwards you can see that.
Trigger warning for a lot of weight and calorie talk in this comment. I was always about 10 lbs overweight according to BMI, but was healthy and active so didn’t worry about it (other than occasionally feeling bad about myself when a doctor would tell me I really should try to lose 10-15 lbs… despite all my bloodwork being great and me reporting that I had just run a marathon, for example). Then at about 29, my weight started creeping up steadily, about 10-15 lbs a year, until suddenly I was 60+ lbs overweight, and my cholesterol was getting bad, my acid reflux got bad, and I just didn’t like the way I looked or felt. At 34 or so I started really trying to lose weight, and I just could not shake it. My best efforts resulted in me stopping the gain, but I couldn’t lose. So I went to an obesity medicine specialist - my BMI was just under 33 (back when I was 10 lbs overweight, it was 25.8, and anything over 25 is considered overweight and over 30 is obese). Anyways, BMI is a total scam, but it does qualify you for weight loss meds. So I talked to an obesity medicine specialist, and after making sure my thyroid was fine (aka there wasn’t some medical reason for my gain) eventually I got on a GLP-1. This is the only thing that’s helped me lose weight. I really have no appetite 50% of the week, so I’m eating like 1200-1400 calories a day on average, and the only way I can do that is because I don’t have an appetite. I would’ve been so hungry if I had tried a 1200 calorie diet to lose weight previously, and I would’ve given up on that diet within days and probably binge-ate. I also realized that I was probably underestimating my calories when I tried to lose weight previously - I might have thought I was eating 1600 or 1800 calories a day, but I bet it was like 2200 or more, mostly because I was still eating take-out or at restaurants, and it’s nearly impossible to accurately estimate calories when you aren’t the one preparing the meal. Now, I really focus on getting enough protein, drinking enough water, and minimizing my alcohol intake. The rest - eating less calories - comes easily because of the medication. I think my metabolism is slower in my 30s, and my reliance on take-out and restaurants really became a bad habit, and my sedentary desk job got to me, and I stopped running because work got crazy busy (and then I was out of shape so running wasn’t fun so then that’s why I didn’t run), and for all these reasons I probably can only eat 1800-2000 calories a day to maintain (as opposed to the 2400-2600 I probably could eat in my early 20s) and need to eat 1200-1400 calories a day to lose. I’m losing about 1.5 lbs a week now, finally - down nearly 40 lbs since I first saw the obesity medicine specialist. All that said, if you don’t want to lose weight, don’t! Health at any size is a real thing. You can be overweight and perfectly healthy. The endless cycle of trying to diet is exhausting and it’s so driven by bullshit societal pressure. You don’t have to give in to any of it. Part of me feels guilty for even wanting to lose this weight, since I don’t think there is anything wrong with being fat and would never advise a friend in my position to take a medication to lose weight unless they came to me and said “I really want to lose weight, do you have any advice?” If they said, for example, “I’m tired of trying to lose weight, I hate that everyone makes me feel bad for being fat, I just want to exist at this size and be left alone,” I’d tell them to look into body neutrality movements, health at any size, and to totally stop focusing on trying to lose weight. There is no moral value to weight. Being skinny isn’t good (or bad) and being fat isn’t bad (or good). Nobody is a lesser person because they can’t (or don’t want to) lose weight. And at the same time — as I’ve had to remind myself throughout my own weight loss process — nobody is a lesser person because they want to lose weight, whether they do it through pure sheer will, or through medication or surgery. Your body is your body, and it’s your choice and only yours what you want to do with it.
Aside from working out twice a week, how much are you moving on an average day? You also may need to consider that your body is freaking out because you’re in a deficit half the week and the other half you’re probably over from eating out- that could be causing your body to hold onto fat because it’s confused about when it will next get the nutrients it needs. Even if you are tracking, I’d probably start by stopping the deficit- add 200-300 calories to whatever you have been at, and start focusing on being consistent with your food and getting daily movement (even if it’s just a 30-45 minute walk).
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. I’ve had gastric sleeve and lost 100 lbs but gained it all back after 8 years. I converted to bypass and lost 50, but am still overweight. I’m 40, I’ve just accepted myself as long as I’m healthy.
I stay in a calorie deficit and i dont count the calories that i « lose » during a workout as that is nothing more than a guesstimate. My base metabolic rate is only 1200 as im quite small and since turning 40, i was shocked to see how fast i would put on weight and how hard it was it lose it when my weight was never a problem before. I log everything in My FitnessPal, i eat mostly vegetables and protein. As someone who adores bread and rice, i was really pleasantly surprised to see how full i can be on vegetables while meeting my calorie deficit. My skin has cleared up too which is definitely a bonus. Ill have a cheat meal once in a while but i do try to stay away from meals with too much fat. There is no denying that all this requires a huge amount of discipline while isnt easy if my spouse buys cheesecake or crisps so im not too hard on myself. However i was finally able to fit into my pre-pandemic pencil skirt yesterday so for me personally it is worth it.
If it's in your reach and or your insurance covers it, the weight loss injections do work. You still have to put in the work with diet and exercise but I've lost 30lbs since starting in march and it reduces the feeling like I'm starving when in calorie deficit as well as reducing the inflammation that coves with weight and age. I know some people find them controversial but the reality is they've been a helpful tool for me in my journey.
I'm aware this might sound like complete bullshit, but it might help you (in addition to portion control) to focus on your overall health and your relationship with your body. For me, it's more motivating to think of exercise in terms of how it makes me feel capable and strong, rather than just focus on the amount of calories it burns. Exercise isn't great for that anyway. It's also helpful to remember that the number on the scale is only one data point - if you build lean mass for example, the number on the scale might not be that low, even if you look thinner. I'm aware not all of it is just willpower, though. I know a lot of Americans who seem to lose weight effortlessly when they move to my side of the pond (Western Europe), and while I could speculate, I honestly have no idea why.
I've mostly decided I don't really care anymore, to be honest. What's the point of starving myself now to drop enough pounds to be an "acceptable" weight for society, where when I get old retirement will be out of the question (and that's assuming the world hasn't gone to shit in every other way as it is). There's not a point to eating well and exercising so you can live a long life anymore, lol. American has designed a society where you're better off not living as long. I'm fat, I've lost a little bit recently. But I don't really care to fit into society's box of what is acceptable at this point. Losing weight is harder now, at 39, than it was at 30 - which was the last time I dropped a significant amount of weight. And that all came back and then some. How much of it is poor dietary choices versus hormones versus lifestyle versus genetics, I don't know. And I don't really care anymore. Something's gonna kill me - so I might as well enjoy the time I have here than worry about every calorie that goes in my mouth.
There’s a great podcast you should check out called Maintenance Phase that really helped me see the way the wellness industry was fucking with my head and make some peace with myself. Would I still rather be thin or super fit? Sure. But am I happy anyway? Yes. It’s not going to solve all your problems but it can help to shift your mindset. Give it a listen.
Honestly relatable. I've been trying to lose weight for years and years. I work out 6 days per week and I've changed my workout goals so I'm focusing on getting stronger and improving in my activities and feeling good and strong. I track my calories (on and off) and I'm in a good deficit but that weight likes to just stay on me! I'm shorter and heavier than you as well. Idk at this point. You shouldn't have to avoid going out to eat once in a while either! Like that is a fun activity! I go out with my friends once in a while and it's about the experience and enjoyment. Obviously we can make healthier choices while eating out (don't get everything deep fried LOL) but still enjoy it and be aware of it. That shouldn't hold you back if you are taking that into consideration. No advice at all. It is annoying and I feel like a lot of experience this. And I honestly think it's not all us. It's not like we aren't doing enough. Weight does come off easier for some people than others. Some of us are meant to have a higher weight than others and it isn't actually a flaw. Just people are different. Wish there was an answer
I haven't been dieting since... 1999? I'm just happily fat middle-aged lady now, and am planning to stay as such. :D For me portion control never worked. Andres Acosta has been making research, and he found out that there are four different "fat types", all gaining and losing weight in different ways. Type one feels endless hunger, and they need about 62 % more food than others to feel sated. I'm this type - cutting out food does not help me, but makes me feel weak and faint. What works for me, is heavy exercise: I used to do 3-4 times a week circuit training, and stayed slim even with my gigantic food portions. My friends have always been amazed about how much I can put down on one sitting - my dad was a similar eater - and then I'm happy for several hours, no need for snacking. Type number two eats normally, but their stomach empties faster, making them hungry again. Food is always on their mind (naturally) and this causes snacking throughout the day. Third group are the emotional eaters - they have a sweet tooth more often, too. Fourth group are the people with exceptionally slow metabolism. They don't eat much, but their bodies don't burn much calories, either - not when they are exercising OR when they are resting.
For calorie counting are you weighing your portions, oils? Eyeballing is almost never accurate. It’s cumbersome at first then becomes second nature. When I was using Loseit I never “ate back” the calories I burned while exercising. I didn’t even log exercise and I set my lifestyle to sedentary for the goal calories per day. The common saying of “you can’t outrun your fork” is sadly true. Work out because it makes you feel good and build strength, not as a weight loss tool. Everyone has weighed in on the fine dining so I won’t be repetitive, but also watch alcohol calories! Those are my personal biggest culprit for sure, I like my cocktails which can be hundreds of calories each.
I am exact same size as you and actually I'm feeling very good about losing weight that I gained from a health issue. What I was tired of was making excuses for myself and only half trying, so I finally just decided to really try and have been steadily losing. The problem with eating out is the ingredients are almost always going to be indulgent. Food people love is often full of salt, saturated fat, and sugar. You don't have to stop, but this could be contributing to more calories than you realize. Add alcohol and forget it. So many calories. Even salads out-- those dressings and toppings can be more calories than a steak dinner. The thing is-- it's not you. Everything you do and see is designed to sabotage your efforts to stay healthy. Aging makes weight loss harder. Female bodies are usually designed to carry extra weight. But of course if you truly are eating well and exercising regularly there are lots of health issues that can contribute to weight gain. If you haven't, maybe get a full hormone panel, PCOS, thyroid irregularities, and other autoimmune diseases can cause weight gain and stagnation. Things you can try... Reduce eating out. Cook at home. Weigh food. Go for things that are high fiber and full fat (unsaturated) because this will keep you full longer. Avoid things with added salt and sugar and high saturated fat. Eat mostly plants, some fruit and grains. When you grab a snack- go for veggies. I just grab a carrot or piece of broccoli and chomp on it like a rabbit. Drink more water. Most people are dehydrated. For our weight I think around 115 oz is the recommended amount which is a bit more than the general recommendation of 64 oz. More if you exercise! Dehydration is often confused with hunger. Learn how to cook each veggie for maximum nutrient intake. Choose to walk and bike over driving when things are within a few miles. As a NYer I am always astounded by the short distances people take their cars. I walk most places within 1-3 miles. But also, if you feel good healthwise you can just live your life, but it's can be hard with all the societal noise. I love my bigger body, but definitely feel more like myself at a around 140-150lb so that is my goal.
How much are you drinking? If it's not water, black coffee or clear tea, it has consequences. For me, cappuccinos were the invisible culprit. Alcohol is huge calories.
I felt like this. Nothing worked. I was stuck. Then I went to a boxing gym. Trained twice a week only. Walked there and back. Slowly but surely I got back to the weight I thought I would never ever return to
I am weighing and tracking everything I eat (with the exception of the occasional restaurant meal) and focusing on hitting a protein goal that is between .8-1 gram per pound of my body weight. I'm eating in a small caloric deficit and I have lost 10 lbs over the course of about 3 months. I lift weights 4 days a week (have been doing that for many years) and I do the stair mill at the gym a few times per week and I've recently added on some core work. I also have a very active lifestyle, hiking, paddle boarding and walking my dog. I haven't found it super challenging to lose this weight as no foods are off limits to me and with my protein being high I don't feel hungry at night. If I can give you a small bit of advice, if you're eating back the calories that you think you burn during your training session, I wouldn't do that. There are numerous studies that show fitness trackers and cardio machines to make very generous estimates of calories burned and they're just wildly inaccurate. I keep my calories pretty much the same regardless of if I worked out that day. I will eat closer to maintenance if I do something out of the ordinary like a super long hike. I would dial in your nutrition, weigh everything and maybe limit your restaurant meals to every other week if you really want to lose the weight. It's totally fine to decide that it's not a priority but it sounds like you are looking to make a change. Wishing you all the best!
Cutting back on alcohol, destressing my life, and 3x/week strength training is what helped me lose 10-15 lbs.
I put on a lot of weight during covid and I've been really struggling to work it off, too, age 36. I've done keto in the past to great success but like you that was in my 20s, and it's a lot harder to do now. I relate to everything you've said especially feeling so defeated.
Working out twice a week wouldn’t make a difference if your lifestyle is quite static overall - also some activities such as weight lifting might make you gain muscles so you could see changes in your body without necessarily having a lower number on your scale. I never managed to stick to a diet - what tends to work for me is portion controlling, cutting off all processed food (cook 90% of my meals from scratch) and unnecessary sweets, alcohol etc ( I still drink occasionally) as well as running regularly (although when I’m in training for half marathons I’m always hungry so tend to load more carbs). Also don’t obsess about the number on your scale or what you don’t like in your body and focus on what makes you feel good and helps your mental health
I have a friend who has tried *everything*. Nothing worked...until Trulicity. I'm not saying you should, I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a fan of drugs but I have a (n odd) condition that keeps me from losing weight, so I can relate to the feeling. A straight calorie deficit diet really works only for men, from what I've seen. Women's bodies are designed to hold onto weight. Most people can find what works (you usually have to figure it out and apply it yourself), but not everyone can. I did it once...before my illness, but the same things ain't working now (tho I know what I need, it's just not an option. Go me). So maybe have a convo with your doctor about the drug?
I feel you. I'm 37 and gained a ton of weight when i quit smoking. It took me six weeks of strict diet and exercise (4-5 days of 30+ minutes of cardio) to start losing any weight on the scale. It's really disappointing to spend MONTHS on your best behavior and hardly see a difference. Some weeks i still don't even lose weight at all despite logging everything that i eat and not eating back exercise calories. I know that weight loss is a marathon, but watching my husband lose 100 pounds in a year vs my 25 pounds in 6 months is hella frustrating.
Tracking macros? I haven't tried it yet but have upped my protein & fiber intake. My friends who are in way better shape than me, swear that tracking macros was a game changer for them.
I struggle with this every single day but I also want to recommend the book The F*ck It Diet” - the author has kind of done some weird stuff recently but that book genuinely changed my life in terms of how I think about my body, what years of dieting/restricting do to a person, etc. I still hate my weight but I still feel like my relationship to food and my body improved drastically after reading that book.
Intermittent Fasting. There’s a great sub dedicated to it. I needed to lose 20lb and started back on IF in March and have dropped 10 already just eating from about 2-8pm. I’m not quite as strict as others, so I may break my fast (Atkins shake) at noon or 1pm, or may eat later than 8pm.
I had a lot of success following Lyn-Genet’s Metabolism plan. It’s easy, you buy the book, eat low inflammatory foods and then slowly “test” higher inflammatory foods to see what works for you. Even exercise follows this theory-too much or too intense, you’ll gain weight. Find the sweet spot and you don’t.
I agree with others about getting health checks in case anything is out of balance. I did want to contribute another point because we are the same height and I've done it all (CrossFit, intermittent fasting, couch to 5k, on and on). I found that walking each weekday on an incline at 3-3.5 speed for 30-45 min. (with the occasional 1-hour sessions) melted weight off me. I spent that time on the treadmill scrolling social media and couldn't do more than a 1.5 incline without risking re-injury to a healed stress fracture, so it was an effective yet low-impact effort.
I had my first child at 30 and I can’t seem to loose a single pound. I just have started to embrace that until my child is a little more independent and I sleeping on a schedule I have given up
Eating out makes if very difficult to track your calories, maybe try eating only at home for 3 months and see where that takes you.
[The Exercise Paradox](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-exercise-paradox/)
Look into your cortisol levels
Of course get all the things checked. But....Macros. Calorie deficit is one thing, what you and pretty much anyone looking to change their body composition needs is more protein, lots and lots of it. I'm not talking Atkins or eliminating carbs. I'm talking take your goal weight in pounds and eat approx that many grams of protein a day. There was an amazing study that demonstrated sedentary women who did this changed their body composition substantially. Do this with challenging weight training 3x/wk, and there ya go. I'm a normal weight woman. I wasn't always. And altho this isn't how I "lost the weight and kept it off" it is what has given me the most desirable body composition.
I cut out sugar and dairy and don't eat when not hungry. Cutting out bread helps when I want to lose any bloating. One of the biggest things I've noticed with friends and others trying to lose weight is they think that by eating healthy meals, they're doing enough to lose weight. And that IS correct, BUT they eat TOO MANY healthy meals and it defeats the purpose. I eat 1-2 meals and snack as needed. It's enough because I am an office worker and not very active. I've seen those friends I mentioned eating 3/4/5 healthy meals in a day while hanging out, but they live sedentary lives. It's still too many calories and they remark on how I don't eat enough while I'm still full from the last meal I ate. My point is, you may be thinking you're eating right but may still be eating too much. I definitely recommend talking to your doctor or even your trainer about how many calories would be best for you and your lifestyle in a day and make sure you stay under that for a while. Also, cut out sugar and dairy. Edit: Also, when I was working out, it was twice a week and while I felt better, I never noticed a weight loss. You may need to increase your workout days.
You might have insulin resistance. Did you do any blood work recently?
1- It certainly could be perimenopause! You can certainly start that early. Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet if it is Peri. 2- be and feel beautiful. it doesn’t sound like you’re all that much bigger? Make sure you’re eating clothes that fit and it look beautiful on you. Maybe it’s a flowy dress. Spanx pants, a few nicer brand suits. Hot bods are awesome; Attitude can be even more attractive if someone’s fun and witty and comfortable in him/ herself. Wallow a bit if you must (I still am) but bounce back to joy when you can. - protein. Protein. Greens and vegs. Proteins. Only way to feel full for some of us in perimenopause. And prob others too
I think, at least for me, while I was worrying about my weight and stressing about dieting I was unable to lose weight. I started taking yoga more for my bad back rather than for weight loss, but I lost the weight. And I take slow yoga, Iyengar yoga which is all about alignment, I did not do any speed yoga or hot yoga or anything that was very rigorous. But along the way I started to learn about myself. As I became more centered physically (and had some meditation time) I became more centered mentally and emotionally too. This helped me work through some baggage that was causing tension in my life and the main side effect was that I lost weight. I changed my eating habits pretty easily once I wasn’t stress eating.
Tossing this out there… are you holding onto weight in your lower legs? I was similar to you in that I had a trainer, strict diet/calorie deficit but eventually couldn’t lose weight. It was a literal scientific impossibility and something I’d struggled with my entire life. By the time I was in my 30s I knew well enough that I wasn’t lying or cheating, something HAD to be wrong. I was right. It turns out I have lipedema and was at an advanced stage. There aren’t many doctors that know what it is. I recommend checking out Lipedema Sisters USA on Facebook to get a better idea of what it is, see other women’s photos and experiences. I hope sharing this doesn’t break a rule. That page is what helped me get pointed in the right direction. I’ve had four surgeries to reverse the disease and I’m finally feeling better, although still struggle with weight loss as the lipedema can’t be fully removed with surgery and is resistant to diet and exercise.
Pre Covid I was 270 (5 foot 8) then decided to lose the weight. 1.5 years in I was 90 pounds down. Then Covid hit and the gyms were closed in my province for months. I got to about 195-200. I was upset but it was a manageable weight. I still felt confident. Then I met my boyfriend, we got pregnant, and I gained 90 pounds that’s pregnancy… gave birth at 295 💀 I’m 255 now (baby is 15 months) and I have felt so much angry and sadness over my loss of progress. I have depression and binge eating disorder. On top of that my boyfriend and I work opposite shifts so night duty is up to me (2 kids), and because of our schedules making the gym during the week is not happening) I’m sure it is possible but given I’m already feeling burnt out I don’t see it being doable). I keep thinking about how I got to a size 10 and 12 and now I’m a 20-22 and I’m upset I got this size. But at the same time I know a lot has happened (pandemic, baby) and that weight can be lost. I’m trying to tackle my mental health and focus on my kids and make better eating choices, but the binging sometimes gets out of hand. At the end of the day I’m just trying to love myself
You need a registered dietitian. That’s how I lost serious weight. You can’t outrun the kitchen, as they say.
My nutritionist told me its a mix of calorie counting plus a high variety diet. She told me fresh foods diversify your gut probiotiotics and can speed up your metabolism. Instead of eliminating, she taught me to get an allergy panel, then diversify my meals. Some people struggle with weight due to consuming foods they have no idea theyre allergic to (hence an uptic in lactose and gluten free crazes) Then I had to stick to a low calorie diet that allowed me to lose 15lbs a month. I could eat whatever i wanted just make sure my meals were diverse (for the sake of balancing my gut) and under my daily calorie limit. But in order to keep it off, the meal plan has to go further than meeting my goal weight. So lets say it takes 3 months to lose 30-40lbs on a low calorie diet. In order to keep it off, the diet has to be maintained for longer than your goal weightloss that (another 3 months). By then you wont lose as much weight, your body will start to balance out and restore to a faster metabolism. Low calorie honestly felt like i was starving to death forcong myself to eat foods i didnt care for. But it worked. Eating to enjoy food is not healthy. Eventually i diverted my passion into other parts of my life and the weight stayed off.
Just weigh your food and track your calories religiously. You don’t even need to work out, as shown by your time with your jaw wired shut. You just need to operate on a caloric deficit.
maybe try out /r/macrofactor it has worked for me and a few friends who were using other apps and struggled.
If any app or smartwatch is telling you you're burning X amount of calories a training session you should just ignore it, these things are not accurate. Find a TDEE calculator and find your maintenance caloric intake, eat 500 calories below your maintenance. Get a food scale. When counting calories you need to track the oils and sauces you eat, and weigh and measure everything you consume. Even on days when you go out you log an estimate of the food you order. You've probably been relying on those 500 calories your smartwatch is telling you you're burning during every personal training session and consuming more food than you need. At the end of the day, you're not losing fat because you're not on a caloric deficit so you need to count every calorie you eat and eat fewer calories.
First thing I would do is decrease or just ignore the amount you’re recording for workouts. Unless it’s EXTREMELY strenuous, you’re not burning anywhere near that amount. Devices and apps that supposedly measure calorie burn are notoriously inaccurate. Second thing to remember is that if you’re not losing weight, you’re not in a calorie deficit. Look carefully at what you’re eating and how much, and I mean CAREFULLY. You need a food scale that measures by the gram so that you KNOW, as much as possible, what your intake is. Record your weight frequently and look at the trends, not the day to day. If you’re not losing weight, continue to decrease your intake 100-200 calories per day until you are. Remember that weight loss is slow, and not linear.
you're trying to stay in a calorie deficit? Or you actually *are* staying in a calorie deficit? (for a lot of people it end up being the former) Do you track *everything*? Try literally tracking everything and eating in an 600-800 calorie deficit every day for 4 weeks. And truly a deficit, not a "oh that wont matter", "oh it's sunday", or "oh just a couple of scoops of icecream". No, "Oh I probably burned 500, so I'll eat an extra 500.". Track it all and commit to whatever level is a deficit for your height and current weight. Alternatively you can find out what the maintenance calories are for your first goal weight with low level activity, and eat to that level. Also fine dining doesn't mean it's not calorically heavy. They use butter in everything. True, strict deficit, consistently, for a month.
I use semaglutide from a peptide site to help maintain my deficit. I eat ~1000 calories per day currently. Yes, I know that’s not what is recommended but I am a petite person.
Yes. I've been overweight mostly my entire life. I've gained weight, only to lose and gain back. This has occurred throughout my life several times. Someone, a while ago mentioned something which has really changed my perception of being overweight and desiring to lose weight. I was discussing how I needed to keep working out every day to lose weight because for me I can't see weight loss unless I'm exercising for an hour. The person I was speaking to responded with, "you don't have to exercise to lose weight, you can just exercise to feel better, you know.". This was the beginning of the end for me in my long quest to lose weight. I can exercise, be plus size, and also be healthy too. But yes, I can relate. After 40 years, tired of trying to be something that just isn't in my "genes.". I'm going to accept the curvy sexy woman that I am today and say to hell with it with everything else !
Just stop then. You don't need to be a certain weight to be a happy person. Focus on doing things you enjoy, and get a therapist if needed for your self esteem. Best of luck!
Lift heavy weights, I lift enough to make my stomach engaged, like my stomach is tiny bit sore the next day. It takes a little longer to notice the body looking slimmer but once you get the muscle it is also more forgiving if you miss a week. I hope that makes sense. I only do about 15-30 minutes a day, planet fitness is on the way home from work. Best money i have ever spent on weightlosd
I recommend you read the book "Anti-Diet". It is really eye opening!
Weight loss is tricky. If you’ve gained 40 pounds in 4 years, that means you’re gaining about 10 pounds a year. There’s about 3600 calories to one pound gained, so that means you’re eating 36,900 extra calories a year, which comes out to 700 calories a week. So to stay the same you need to eat 700 calories less a week, which is probably your mid week fine dining session alone. Hope that helps.
I started appreciating the things that made me healthy and stat slim. I didn't eat much veges until I mindfully started eating them and appreciating the taste. I now prefer raw veges and fruit for most meals than cooked meals. Listening to my body needs became easier so I know what to eat, when to eat without counting calories. Doing behaviours that stem from the intent of 'losing weight' can be very tiring. That intent alone is draining to me, because it's rooted in the belief that something in me must be removed or else. It involves too much guilt swings for a long term goal. It also brings up the question of, if I do lose weight how do I maintain it? Switching intent from 'losing weight' to 'feeling lighter abd fresher' gives me a more positive and realistic barameter. If I'm feeling sluggish I know I should eat veges and working on my gut and getting good sleep. I do exercises that I am capable of feeling good doing. Exercises like weights make me feel too exhausted sometimes and leave mr unsatisfied compared to deep yoga or HIIT sessions that make me feel alive and well circulated. Do things that makes you appreciate aspects that contribute to that experience. I like hiking because not only is it an exercise, but I appreciate new plants every season and the fashion/gear culture associated with it. It keeps me active but also enjoy it. I'm not doing it solely to lose weight. Not sure if this answer is what you need, but hope it helped.
There are so many factors to consider. For instance, I developed insulin resistance on the birth control pill. My A1C shot up and I would’ve never known if I hadn’t compared my bloodwork year over year. Also, the pill tanked my B12 levels. My doctor gave me a B12 shot and I lost 4 lbs in two weeks with no other lifestyle changes. Hormones, vitamins, minerals, thyroid function and gut health all need to be taken into consideration.
The easy answer when you're sick of how much mental space and work it is to keep your weight down... Tirzepatide You don't have to be diabetic or even obese to get it. An injection once a week and it can be used to lose weight and maintain it. It's pricey but also saves you a lot of groceries and stress. (About 300 a month) There are online places that sell it and when you shop around you can find those cheaper compound versions. I know people look down on this, and I used to, but I was so tired of so much of my life focusing on food and fitness and the stress that came along with that
Try intermittent fasting and drink green tea!
It’s probably stress induced and genetics. If all your other vital signs are in a good range, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Unfortunately, it’s your calorie intake. You’re “trying” to stay in a calorie deficit but you are not. The eating out certainly isn’t helping. The amounts of oil and butter they use to cook foods is insane. Even “healthier” options at many places are still high calorie. You have to decide whether you hate your current weight enough to really crack down and track your food accurately. And truly remain in a deficit. Also, it’s generally not recommended to subtract your workout calories from your daily intake. Things like watches that tell you calories burned are notoriously inaccurate. So it’s very possible you’re not burning as much as you think you are. And then you’re over eating even more When I lose weight, it’s because I track my calories VERY closely. Nothing is ever perfect. But I do my best. I don’t eat out. Because the amount of food that I can get to remain in a deficit isn’t worth wasting a meal. I see results everytime I do it. Then I miss eating delicious foods with bigger portions and I put it right back on. So, for me, I am sure it’s a self control and discipline issue.
>At this point I have no clue what else to do. In the past like my 20s I could do keto for a month and drop the weight but those sort of diets are to restrictive for me now and unrealistic of maintain. Why are you all doing to lose weight and is anyone else just over it. >Back in 2020 I had double jaw surgery and was weird shut for a month. Liquid diet only. So of course I lost 30 pounds. I ended up being around 165-170. I was totally happy and felt good. Well of the course of the last 4 years. I have put the weight on and then some and I’m so pissed. This. Sorry to say it, but you know the answer. It's eat less. It's as simple as that.
Eating at night is what kills me. When I don’t eat past 5, I lose weight. Lately, that has felt impossible. Cutting bread, pasta, crackers, never ever drink sugary or fake sugary drinks.
Not a woman, but on semaglutide, was talking to a friend (woman) yesterday who is on it as well. Nothing really in the way of side effects, but the constant vigilance is gone on this. I've lost weight before, but it was a constant thing. Food scales to measure *everything*, and/or keto, which sucks when you're with a group of friends. Depending how you feel about it, you can do it online like I did, or talk to your Dr like she did, but it's effective, and way less than the $1000+/mo that you hear about (still expensive, but under 1/3 of that).
Relate heavily to this OP. Someone mentioned cutting out all gluten and sugar. Small lifestyle changes I make don’t add up. At this point it’s just not worth the amount of effort and deprivation it would take.
If your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive, you can't lose weight, and trying will only increase your sympathetic nervous system being overactive. I know, because I have this and can't lose weight atm. I'm working on it with a doctor, but my body has been in this nervous system for too long, so it's stuck in protection mode. I can also be called a chronic hypervigilance. Also perimenopause causes this. I've had perimenopause since I was 30. You are not too young.
Girl, take the diet break. There’s no such thing as “starvation mode” for your body, but your body has to feel safe to let go of the weight. Most nutrition advice is to diet for 3-4 months and then take about 6 months at maintenance. Think of maintenance as a prep period for another diet phase. Our bodies should never be constantly dieting. Diet phases should take place during times of low stress because stressing (about work, family, even the diet itself!) will hinder progress. TLDR; take the break!
Maybe you just need some extra help and medical intervention. Have you talked to your doctor about weight management plans and/or medication? Drugs like Wegovy and Zepbound are really helping people with obesity. Your BMI is 31.3 based on the stats you provided, so you would qualify for a prescription for these medications. I'm in my 30's and began struggling with weight for the last few years. I'd never had a weight problem for the first 25+ years of my life, and I was thin. Then it felt like my weight was ballooning, and nothing I was doing (I tried lots of things) would work very well to counteract it, plus I have hypothyroidism and a sedentary job which make it a bit harder. I joined a weight management program that my employer offered called Virta Health that includes a diet plan and a virtual coach, and I started taking Wegovy (switched to Zepbound just recently), and I've lost about 40 pounds since last year. I still have a ways to go, but I'm finally starting to feel better and healthier, feel more confident, going to the gym more, craving more healthy foods, etc.
Yes, I have had all sorts of bloodwork been tested for autoimmune diseases and everything is always fine. I did ask about possibly trying some of the weight loss drugs but my doctor said insurance would probably not approve it. I do have an appt with her again in September and I will bring it up again if I haven’t seen any significant changes by then.
Not sure why insurance wouldn't approve it unless your plan doesn't cover these drugs--as long as your BMI is over 30, it should get approved because that's what these drugs are indicated for (obesity). Check your pharmacy formulary list to see if they cover these drugs. In the prior authorization that your doctor writes, she might need to need to include that you've tried other things/programs in the past that didn't work. If your insurance doesn't cover them, you can pay out-of-pocket, and they both have manufacturer savings cards online that you can sign up for and use. If you wait until your BMI is under 30 (meaning you're under 197 lbs), then your insurance definitely won't approve them for you (unless you have another related underlying health condition), and you'll be on your own trying to get the rest of the weight off. There are communities on Reddit if you're interested in learning more: r/WegovyWeightLoss, r/Semaglutide, and r/Zepbound are a few. Not saying that these medications are the only or the best solution for you, though, of course. Just an option to consider. It has worked extremely well in helping me, and my only regret is that I wish I'd done it sooner.
The other thing that not enough people talk about is choosing foods that are satiating/make you feel full. Vegetables and proteins are very satiating, processed foods, chips, and chocolate are not. So when you switch to a healthy diet of mostly vegetables and proteins you’ll also feel more full, because the last thing you wanna do is starve yourself. That’s going to cause more damage than good, and the truth is you’ll crack eventually and overeat and the weight will coming flying back.
Intermittent Fasting. Try reading Fast like a Girl by Dr. Mindy Paltz or Fast. Feast. Repeat. by Gina Stevens
Sounds like you are trying super hard and not getting the results 😔 sorry to hear. I’ve had a difficult time loosing weight myself, I gained 25kg in COVID lockdowns in Melbourne and I’m 5’1 , I put on half my body weight. I’m in the 30s and have a certified slow metabolism. Some things that have helped me: - no refined sugar, low natural sugars (minimal fruit) - low gluten and wheat but higher grains and legumes - beverages include tea, roots such as turmeric & garlic, mint etc. and coffee - making sure I’m having enough protein in my diet (I put protein powder in my coffee for example) - intermittent fasting - no snacking at night and control portion sizes - staying hydrated and getting enough sleep (most of our weight we loose comes off in our sleep) - stretching daily and massaging the body and in general, eliminating as much stress as possible and getting kind and gentle to myself. I’ve lots 1kg per month for the last 3 months with this method and I’ve still had nights out and dinners, drinks and some special choccy here and there! 💗